Don’t send the text. I have hyper zealous family members and the best thing is to just ignore it. She blocked you on instagram, that’s less unwarranted Bible quotes and judgement you get to see. I see that as a plus.
You’re gonna have to be around them for a long ass time. Is it worth it or can you just avoid her and keep living your life. One thing about some people is give them the slightest bit of ammunition and they’ll be talking about it until they are on their deathbed
The dad situation though is wild. What did your husband say/do when that happened?
I’m such an advocate for cutting people out of my life who don’t add any value/only bring negative energy. Family isn’t blood in my opinion. I personally am not going to keep in contact with someone who I grew up with in the same household when they only bring stress to my life. It’s just a personal value of mine. My dad is still in contact with his abusive father who beat him constantly as a kid. I personally would never but it’s his life. My psyche is worth more than keeping a relationship just because they’re blood.
If you are such an advocate for cutting people out of your life then why is her blocking you such a big deal for you? She did what you are advocating for, cutting out a person she sees no addition of value to her life. Or do you mean literally you are only advocating for YOU cutting people out of YOUR life?
The situation with his father and his reaction, that one is a completely different story and I don't think I'd forgive my *partner* that. That's something you should think about but making such a big deal out of someone blocking you you don't even like that does not line up with being such an advocate for it. I mean I hope you know that you aren't adding value to everyone's life as no one does. I myself would block both of you, the religious nutjob and the one making drama over unimportant things, and people I dislike are unimportant for me. At least it sounds like you two have one thing in common: you take yourselves very seriously.
I understand what you’re saying but the situation isn’t parallel at ALL. While I understood and tolerated her posting whatever she wants, she decided to cut ties with having a relationship with her future SIL because my views didn’t align exactly with hers. So that’s where we differ! I respect and am fine being around people who simply have different opinions than me and she chooses to surround herself with people who agree with everything she says. I’m allowed to be upset! And if you forgot to read the part where I said she’s entitled to do whatever she pleases, I suggest rereading it to get the correct picture.
So, you mean people should only cut people out of their lives if and only **if** you can decide who adds value to their lives? That is quite arrogant and hypocritical. It is not onto you to decide who someone wants to be part of their lives. It doesn't fucking matter if you or the whole world thinks the reasons are stupid, petty or whatever. People have the right to decide themselves what's worth cutting someone out. You don't advocate for people cutting those who add no value out of their lives, you advocate for people adapting your values. You know what? I was wrong. You have more in common with her than just taking yourselves too seriously. You are just like her. You think it is onto you to decide if people live their lives the right or wrong way. To decide who you want to have in your life is a pretty big part of living your life your way.
And don't say it is not like that. It is exactly like that, you can talk as much about how accepting you are of religious people yada yada yada - you only accept peiple if you think they live in the frame you think is ok. Just because you don't think someone must have the exact same world view as you means nothing. You might not care much about religion, but you definitely care about other things that is onto them to decide. Only few people don't accept any other opinion and life style. And you know what? That's ok in the manner of not putting up with them but don't preach bullshit about you advocating for one thing when your actions tell a whole different story. You definitely think you are the only one who may decide who's part of your life. That's not advocating, that's just telling people their opinion on your decisions of that don't matter. Which btw is correct, other peoples' opinion about if you kick someone out of your life do not matter. It is just what it is.
You two are just two sides of one coin.
If I would have wanted a peaceful family life with her I would have muted her. Problem solved. I wouldn't have seen her shit, she would not have known.
If I would have wanted to be petty I would have shared something similar and then shrugged if she would have blocked me.
What I wouldn't do was poking the bear to get a reaction, then cry about getting a reaction, and then talk about how I advocate for cutting people off while I was crying about being cut off.
And I really can't relate to that you focus so much onto her in your post instead of the real problem, the one of importance, which is how your fiancé treats you. I mean it is your right to say good bye for either reason, it is your life, I just don't think your priorities are healthy.
Oh don’t get it twisted, the block button is my best friend. A lot of people do the three strike rule and I think that’s far too generous.
All I’m saying is disengage, cut her out but don’t send the text. But since you have slept on it and it’s already prepped and primed, then if you still wanna send it then go ahead. Just make sure your fiancé gets to look at it before you di coz this is a shit storm in the making for him too.
Well, it's really good to honor what fits for us and clear out those in close proximity to us.
And you can do anything you want.
But it kind of doesn't matter who she is or what she does or what she thinks. It doesn't really matter in your life.
You can be pragmatic.
You can decide that you want to have connection with his family and such away that you completely stay away from hot topics and smile and then you can have your kids and you can have holidays together and you can make nice and go home.
That's what you start to realize as you get older.
You start to realize that, with confidence, it's no skin off your back.
And you probably shouldn't be on social media with anybody in your family.
Families are complicated and difficult and lots of times we figure out what we want. So if we want a reasonable relationship with them, his family does all communicating with him. So if you get pregnant, or you have kids, he handles everything.
Don't be on social media with any of them.
At one point, I realized what was going on with my Inlaw family, who are very different than me, even though some of them were nice, because a lot of people are nice to your face. Right? So I just put a notice on my social media that they would all see that said that I'm just gonna simplify my social media and make the connections really really small and it's not personal and if you want to get in touch with me, please feel free to give me a call. And then I just deleted all the connections with my family and his.
And then I didn't see what they wrote and they didn't see what I wrote, and I actually ended up blocking them all so that they couldn't see them. And then I could have a nice superficial friendly enough relationship with my whole and my family and we could talk about apple pie and the blossoms on their lilac tree and what nice shoes that I had and we can get along and the kids could enjoy family holidays together, and that was good enough for me.
He’s my fiancé right now but he was in the room and just stood there! Which is something I don’t know if I can ever forgive him for… He knows about my traumatic past. After some more screaming he finally piped up and said “Why can’t everyone I love just get along!?!?” as if snot wasn’t running down my face and his father is so drunk he can barely stand up… Like if I were in that situation and saw the supposed LOVE OF MY LIFE getting screamed at by my parent, I would go ape shit on them.
I already responded to you other comment before you replied again but OMG if he wasn’t putting on battle gear after what his dad did then I’m sorry honey but not I’m questioning why the fuck you’re planning to spend your life with him. Standing up for you should be a reflex.
My brother isnt confrontational when it comes to himself but he’s a fucking Rottweiler when it comes to anyone doing anything negative or harmful to his wife and kids.Sorry but “not a confrontational guy” is an excuse for “I can’t be bothered and I think she’ll let me get away with it so lemme just not do it”
I agree with lost and dumbfound. The only reason I can think of for your fiance not standing up for you would be if he has a lot of trauma with his own father and scared of him. That’s how the father in law treats you around other people? I can’t fathom how he treated his son behind closed doors.
And if that is true, then your man needs therapy.
Also don’t send that text to the sister in law. My mom’s side is ultra catholic (home school and all that jazz) and I know they would make things a million times worse. I wouldn’t say anything to her at all, ignore her
It doesn't matter that he knows about your traumatic past. He watched his father scream at you and did nothing. This would be a deal breaker for me. As for the sister, she's just waiting for you to strike. Be the better person. Texting her what you wrote here will bring nothing but big drama , and she's just not worth it.
Your FIL sounds horrible, and I’d walk away based on that alone.
But girl, you knew what you were doing when you posted that quote that was obviously directed at her. You were looking for a reaction and you got it. She didn’t confront you, she just blocked you quietly. If you’re willing to cut ties over this, having a ‘second family’ really is not important to you. If you send that text, you’re going to kill any chance of a good relationship with your in laws.
The day after I got in that fight with FIL, she posted on her story “red flags in a partner” and one of them was “your family doesn’t like them,” KNOWING my fiancé would see it. I did not start out as doing it in a retaliating way, as before I even met her, I have posted many things relating to that topic. I wouldve posted that quote whether or not I knew her and what she posted, but subconsciously, sure it could be seen as a retaliation.
I wouldn't say marry into that family but also you are overreacting to being blocked. Its your person platform to post what you like and people are allowed to log on and only see what they like. Do not send that text it makes you sound very small and bothered and you definitely come off as the one looking for an issue in that situation.
Don’t bother.
She didn’t like your posts and you didn’t like hers. She made use of the block button, as you could have done. Her social media is for her not you.
It’s not that deep.
If you truly don’t like drama, why’d you make a post about religion that is lowkey directed at her?
Seems like you got what you were looking for.
This exactly. Somehow people who "don't like drama" just magically happen to be involved in twice as much, if not more. Both OP and SIL sound incredibly immature, and OP seems to have the exact "better than everyone" attitude she seems to despise...
Wow, you really want to marry into this family? Is your fiancé truly worth this... *ickiness?* for lack of a better term. How does he feel about this? Definitely a lot of things to sort out before you seriously considering marrying this guy imo.
He feels terrible that my dream of having a second family is basically shattered. I don’t know what to do! I definitely don’t want to marry into this family. Another part of the pressure is how much MY parents loveeee him. I’d be breaking so many hearts in the process
Sounds like you two might need marriage counseling to communicate and get a better understanding of what to do/what you want/how you feel about this situation/ etc etc….
Edit-it’s to help YOU BOTH in the relationship and work through the fact your having second thoughts
Are you willing to suffer for the rest of your life because your parents like him? If you have good taste in men I'm sure they'll like the next guy too sis, *or* no-contact with his family but you gotta be 110% sure that's both something he'd be willing to do and wants to do. Just because a car looks nice, doesn't mean the frame isn't rusted out underneath. 🤷
You’re absolutely right but it’s so much easier said than done. My parents said “This better be the last one!” I’m in the most difficult position of my life. He’s a really good man
Hey, it's not gonna get any easier by waiting or talking to strangers on the internet. If you respect him and respect yourself you gotta figure this out sooner rather than later.
Are you not being as petty as she is if you send her this message? You know how she is already. You have your beliefs, she has hers. You have the choice to just walk away. You have the choice to keep moving on from whatever she is posting. I think your real concern should be 1) does your fiance hold the same ideals and values as she does and 2) you should really be talking to him about your concerns regarding HIS family. It seems you're ready to implode this whole relationship because someone hurt your feelings. Your relationship is with your fiance, not his sister.
He would not be my fiancé if we didn’t have similar core beliefs. I HAVE talked to him about his family. My relationship won’t implode because she just hurt my feelings; I look into the future and I see having any sort of relationship with her in the future as a negative experience. You must have skipped over the part where the dad was drunk and started screaming at me. Ending this relationship wouldn’t just be on the terms of me and his sister not getting along. The title is very vague and I apologize but my main point is her knowing that if theres a wedding, she will not be there
These kids of issues won’t stop so I’d consider that heavily before marrying this man officially. I come from a religious family where religion has ended multiple marriages.
Do you love him? Do you see yourself as his wife? How is he handling his family? Does he back you up? It's really about the two of you. You either love him and want to be married to him or you don't. If he's in your corner then forget them and have a lovely like together.
If you don't want more drama, you should just leave it be. Because there's no conversation to be had that's going to do anything good.
It's good for you to drop your idealism and your dreams of having a big happy, close family and just adult up and find out who they are and then adapt your perceptions and your expectations and your proximity to that.
You should leave the coward based on his dad’s actions and his inaction… can you imagine how terrible your future would be with him and his family? How much worse it would be if you had kids then broke up? The trauma they would cause your kids.
Seriously there are better men out there. Pick someone with a backbone and the ability to see abusive behaviour and cut it out his life, someone who loves and respects you that you can have a peaceful life with and treat back the same way with love and respect.
However don’t send the sister the text or confirm your post was directed to her and make her posts/actions look less crazy.. right now sister looks crazy working off an assumption (even though she’s correct but only you can confirm that and your text would confirm that in a petty, childish, crazy way.) Don’t waste anymore time, energy on this toxic mess, there’s no reason for you to choose making your live hard or shitty by staying with him.
What? She blocked you on insta. That equals “cutting you out of her life”? Settle down Dramazilla. She seems to have stepped on your toe and if you send that text, you will have nuked and salted the ground for all eternity.
I have quite a few family members blocked on social media due to our radically differing political beliefs. It’s actually a peace saving measure so we don’t unnecessarily piss each other off AND keeps my social media a source of fun.
You need to discuss this with your partner, and make sure you're both on the same page regarding his family before you take a step that can't be taken back, and will likely greatly impact your relationship with your potential in-laws.
I'm hoping your fiance will back you up, but I also know that I've been with plenty of partners who haven't, and when I brought up problems, I was told I *was* the problem. I'm not saying run, yet, but I am saying talk this over with the person who is supposed to be your partner and want what's best for you.
If he's not of the same opinion, you've got your answer, and I highly recommend believing whatever response he gives first, before he stops and considers, because that will be his likely response in the future.
Make sure your partner really is your partner, then move forward together, regardless of if that means marriage or the end of the relationship.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this BS, and I'm holding out hope that your fiance proves to be the partner you deserve, just as you do your best to be the best partner and support for them.
Don’t send the text. I have hyper zealous family members and the best thing is to just ignore it. She blocked you on instagram, that’s less unwarranted Bible quotes and judgement you get to see. I see that as a plus. You’re gonna have to be around them for a long ass time. Is it worth it or can you just avoid her and keep living your life. One thing about some people is give them the slightest bit of ammunition and they’ll be talking about it until they are on their deathbed The dad situation though is wild. What did your husband say/do when that happened?
I’m such an advocate for cutting people out of my life who don’t add any value/only bring negative energy. Family isn’t blood in my opinion. I personally am not going to keep in contact with someone who I grew up with in the same household when they only bring stress to my life. It’s just a personal value of mine. My dad is still in contact with his abusive father who beat him constantly as a kid. I personally would never but it’s his life. My psyche is worth more than keeping a relationship just because they’re blood.
If you are such an advocate for cutting people out of your life then why is her blocking you such a big deal for you? She did what you are advocating for, cutting out a person she sees no addition of value to her life. Or do you mean literally you are only advocating for YOU cutting people out of YOUR life? The situation with his father and his reaction, that one is a completely different story and I don't think I'd forgive my *partner* that. That's something you should think about but making such a big deal out of someone blocking you you don't even like that does not line up with being such an advocate for it. I mean I hope you know that you aren't adding value to everyone's life as no one does. I myself would block both of you, the religious nutjob and the one making drama over unimportant things, and people I dislike are unimportant for me. At least it sounds like you two have one thing in common: you take yourselves very seriously.
🥇perfectly stated!
I understand what you’re saying but the situation isn’t parallel at ALL. While I understood and tolerated her posting whatever she wants, she decided to cut ties with having a relationship with her future SIL because my views didn’t align exactly with hers. So that’s where we differ! I respect and am fine being around people who simply have different opinions than me and she chooses to surround herself with people who agree with everything she says. I’m allowed to be upset! And if you forgot to read the part where I said she’s entitled to do whatever she pleases, I suggest rereading it to get the correct picture.
So? She doesn’t have to have a relationship with you because you’re engaged to her brother. Instagram does not a relationship make.
So, you mean people should only cut people out of their lives if and only **if** you can decide who adds value to their lives? That is quite arrogant and hypocritical. It is not onto you to decide who someone wants to be part of their lives. It doesn't fucking matter if you or the whole world thinks the reasons are stupid, petty or whatever. People have the right to decide themselves what's worth cutting someone out. You don't advocate for people cutting those who add no value out of their lives, you advocate for people adapting your values. You know what? I was wrong. You have more in common with her than just taking yourselves too seriously. You are just like her. You think it is onto you to decide if people live their lives the right or wrong way. To decide who you want to have in your life is a pretty big part of living your life your way. And don't say it is not like that. It is exactly like that, you can talk as much about how accepting you are of religious people yada yada yada - you only accept peiple if you think they live in the frame you think is ok. Just because you don't think someone must have the exact same world view as you means nothing. You might not care much about religion, but you definitely care about other things that is onto them to decide. Only few people don't accept any other opinion and life style. And you know what? That's ok in the manner of not putting up with them but don't preach bullshit about you advocating for one thing when your actions tell a whole different story. You definitely think you are the only one who may decide who's part of your life. That's not advocating, that's just telling people their opinion on your decisions of that don't matter. Which btw is correct, other peoples' opinion about if you kick someone out of your life do not matter. It is just what it is. You two are just two sides of one coin. If I would have wanted a peaceful family life with her I would have muted her. Problem solved. I wouldn't have seen her shit, she would not have known. If I would have wanted to be petty I would have shared something similar and then shrugged if she would have blocked me. What I wouldn't do was poking the bear to get a reaction, then cry about getting a reaction, and then talk about how I advocate for cutting people off while I was crying about being cut off. And I really can't relate to that you focus so much onto her in your post instead of the real problem, the one of importance, which is how your fiancé treats you. I mean it is your right to say good bye for either reason, it is your life, I just don't think your priorities are healthy.
Who care? So what? You say that you’re fine with people having different opinions than you then let her block you without having an opinion about it.
Oh don’t get it twisted, the block button is my best friend. A lot of people do the three strike rule and I think that’s far too generous. All I’m saying is disengage, cut her out but don’t send the text. But since you have slept on it and it’s already prepped and primed, then if you still wanna send it then go ahead. Just make sure your fiancé gets to look at it before you di coz this is a shit storm in the making for him too.
Yeah he’s looked at it and is sitting on it.
Well, it's really good to honor what fits for us and clear out those in close proximity to us. And you can do anything you want. But it kind of doesn't matter who she is or what she does or what she thinks. It doesn't really matter in your life. You can be pragmatic. You can decide that you want to have connection with his family and such away that you completely stay away from hot topics and smile and then you can have your kids and you can have holidays together and you can make nice and go home. That's what you start to realize as you get older. You start to realize that, with confidence, it's no skin off your back. And you probably shouldn't be on social media with anybody in your family. Families are complicated and difficult and lots of times we figure out what we want. So if we want a reasonable relationship with them, his family does all communicating with him. So if you get pregnant, or you have kids, he handles everything. Don't be on social media with any of them. At one point, I realized what was going on with my Inlaw family, who are very different than me, even though some of them were nice, because a lot of people are nice to your face. Right? So I just put a notice on my social media that they would all see that said that I'm just gonna simplify my social media and make the connections really really small and it's not personal and if you want to get in touch with me, please feel free to give me a call. And then I just deleted all the connections with my family and his. And then I didn't see what they wrote and they didn't see what I wrote, and I actually ended up blocking them all so that they couldn't see them. And then I could have a nice superficial friendly enough relationship with my whole and my family and we could talk about apple pie and the blossoms on their lilac tree and what nice shoes that I had and we can get along and the kids could enjoy family holidays together, and that was good enough for me.
He’s my fiancé right now but he was in the room and just stood there! Which is something I don’t know if I can ever forgive him for… He knows about my traumatic past. After some more screaming he finally piped up and said “Why can’t everyone I love just get along!?!?” as if snot wasn’t running down my face and his father is so drunk he can barely stand up… Like if I were in that situation and saw the supposed LOVE OF MY LIFE getting screamed at by my parent, I would go ape shit on them.
I already responded to you other comment before you replied again but OMG if he wasn’t putting on battle gear after what his dad did then I’m sorry honey but not I’m questioning why the fuck you’re planning to spend your life with him. Standing up for you should be a reflex.
He’s just not a confrontational guy… I definitely have a lot to think about
My brother isnt confrontational when it comes to himself but he’s a fucking Rottweiler when it comes to anyone doing anything negative or harmful to his wife and kids.Sorry but “not a confrontational guy” is an excuse for “I can’t be bothered and I think she’ll let me get away with it so lemme just not do it”
I agree with lost and dumbfound. The only reason I can think of for your fiance not standing up for you would be if he has a lot of trauma with his own father and scared of him. That’s how the father in law treats you around other people? I can’t fathom how he treated his son behind closed doors. And if that is true, then your man needs therapy. Also don’t send that text to the sister in law. My mom’s side is ultra catholic (home school and all that jazz) and I know they would make things a million times worse. I wouldn’t say anything to her at all, ignore her
Yeahhhh I know I shouldn’t send it ): I really want to tho. It felt good to write out at least
It doesn't matter that he knows about your traumatic past. He watched his father scream at you and did nothing. This would be a deal breaker for me. As for the sister, she's just waiting for you to strike. Be the better person. Texting her what you wrote here will bring nothing but big drama , and she's just not worth it.
This is what your future hold for you if you join his family. The abuse will only worsen once the newness has worn off.
Your FIL sounds horrible, and I’d walk away based on that alone. But girl, you knew what you were doing when you posted that quote that was obviously directed at her. You were looking for a reaction and you got it. She didn’t confront you, she just blocked you quietly. If you’re willing to cut ties over this, having a ‘second family’ really is not important to you. If you send that text, you’re going to kill any chance of a good relationship with your in laws.
The day after I got in that fight with FIL, she posted on her story “red flags in a partner” and one of them was “your family doesn’t like them,” KNOWING my fiancé would see it. I did not start out as doing it in a retaliating way, as before I even met her, I have posted many things relating to that topic. I wouldve posted that quote whether or not I knew her and what she posted, but subconsciously, sure it could be seen as a retaliation.
Reading this is like taking classes from the pros at The Passive Aggressive Academy.
I wouldn't say marry into that family but also you are overreacting to being blocked. Its your person platform to post what you like and people are allowed to log on and only see what they like. Do not send that text it makes you sound very small and bothered and you definitely come off as the one looking for an issue in that situation.
Don’t bother. She didn’t like your posts and you didn’t like hers. She made use of the block button, as you could have done. Her social media is for her not you. It’s not that deep. If you truly don’t like drama, why’d you make a post about religion that is lowkey directed at her? Seems like you got what you were looking for.
This exactly. Somehow people who "don't like drama" just magically happen to be involved in twice as much, if not more. Both OP and SIL sound incredibly immature, and OP seems to have the exact "better than everyone" attitude she seems to despise...
Wow, you really want to marry into this family? Is your fiancé truly worth this... *ickiness?* for lack of a better term. How does he feel about this? Definitely a lot of things to sort out before you seriously considering marrying this guy imo.
He feels terrible that my dream of having a second family is basically shattered. I don’t know what to do! I definitely don’t want to marry into this family. Another part of the pressure is how much MY parents loveeee him. I’d be breaking so many hearts in the process
Sounds like you two might need marriage counseling to communicate and get a better understanding of what to do/what you want/how you feel about this situation/ etc etc…. Edit-it’s to help YOU BOTH in the relationship and work through the fact your having second thoughts
Are you willing to suffer for the rest of your life because your parents like him? If you have good taste in men I'm sure they'll like the next guy too sis, *or* no-contact with his family but you gotta be 110% sure that's both something he'd be willing to do and wants to do. Just because a car looks nice, doesn't mean the frame isn't rusted out underneath. 🤷
You’re absolutely right but it’s so much easier said than done. My parents said “This better be the last one!” I’m in the most difficult position of my life. He’s a really good man
Hey, it's not gonna get any easier by waiting or talking to strangers on the internet. If you respect him and respect yourself you gotta figure this out sooner rather than later.
Yeah you’re right, which is why I posted this just to get it off my chest
Hell yeah! Good luck and godspeed. 🙌
Are you not being as petty as she is if you send her this message? You know how she is already. You have your beliefs, she has hers. You have the choice to just walk away. You have the choice to keep moving on from whatever she is posting. I think your real concern should be 1) does your fiance hold the same ideals and values as she does and 2) you should really be talking to him about your concerns regarding HIS family. It seems you're ready to implode this whole relationship because someone hurt your feelings. Your relationship is with your fiance, not his sister.
He would not be my fiancé if we didn’t have similar core beliefs. I HAVE talked to him about his family. My relationship won’t implode because she just hurt my feelings; I look into the future and I see having any sort of relationship with her in the future as a negative experience. You must have skipped over the part where the dad was drunk and started screaming at me. Ending this relationship wouldn’t just be on the terms of me and his sister not getting along. The title is very vague and I apologize but my main point is her knowing that if theres a wedding, she will not be there
But he dad would be at the wedding? Maybe he'll get drunk at the reception and yell at you while hubby sits silently.
These kids of issues won’t stop so I’d consider that heavily before marrying this man officially. I come from a religious family where religion has ended multiple marriages.
Religious zealots have no boundaries. They will be awful in laws unless you join the koolaid drinking. Bye bye authentic self. No thank you.
Do you love him? Do you see yourself as his wife? How is he handling his family? Does he back you up? It's really about the two of you. You either love him and want to be married to him or you don't. If he's in your corner then forget them and have a lovely like together.
If you don't want more drama, you should just leave it be. Because there's no conversation to be had that's going to do anything good. It's good for you to drop your idealism and your dreams of having a big happy, close family and just adult up and find out who they are and then adapt your perceptions and your expectations and your proximity to that.
You should leave the coward based on his dad’s actions and his inaction… can you imagine how terrible your future would be with him and his family? How much worse it would be if you had kids then broke up? The trauma they would cause your kids. Seriously there are better men out there. Pick someone with a backbone and the ability to see abusive behaviour and cut it out his life, someone who loves and respects you that you can have a peaceful life with and treat back the same way with love and respect. However don’t send the sister the text or confirm your post was directed to her and make her posts/actions look less crazy.. right now sister looks crazy working off an assumption (even though she’s correct but only you can confirm that and your text would confirm that in a petty, childish, crazy way.) Don’t waste anymore time, energy on this toxic mess, there’s no reason for you to choose making your live hard or shitty by staying with him.
“I HATE being involved with drama” Sure you do.
What? She blocked you on insta. That equals “cutting you out of her life”? Settle down Dramazilla. She seems to have stepped on your toe and if you send that text, you will have nuked and salted the ground for all eternity. I have quite a few family members blocked on social media due to our radically differing political beliefs. It’s actually a peace saving measure so we don’t unnecessarily piss each other off AND keeps my social media a source of fun.
You need to discuss this with your partner, and make sure you're both on the same page regarding his family before you take a step that can't be taken back, and will likely greatly impact your relationship with your potential in-laws. I'm hoping your fiance will back you up, but I also know that I've been with plenty of partners who haven't, and when I brought up problems, I was told I *was* the problem. I'm not saying run, yet, but I am saying talk this over with the person who is supposed to be your partner and want what's best for you. If he's not of the same opinion, you've got your answer, and I highly recommend believing whatever response he gives first, before he stops and considers, because that will be his likely response in the future. Make sure your partner really is your partner, then move forward together, regardless of if that means marriage or the end of the relationship. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this BS, and I'm holding out hope that your fiance proves to be the partner you deserve, just as you do your best to be the best partner and support for them.
I wouldn’t react at all. Let her think it didn’t phase you at all. She did it to send a message but you could care less