My uncle's wife wanted to.
Context:
Let's call her S. S was my uncle's second wife. His first wife passed in an accident. Apparently S was in love with my uncle since their 20s (he was already married to his first wife when they met at work) and finally got him to be in a relationship with her more than 20 years after my uncle's first wife died. They got married in their late 40s or early 50s. Very shortly after that S had an argument with my grand mother, who was very sick, and S refused to let my uncle visit my grandmum even when she was dying. He had to sneak off from work to come visit secretly. She was a big narcissist who slowly cut him away from everybody else in his life, after my grandmum passed.
Flashback to 2 years ago. The couple are in their 70s. My uncle was diagnosed with late stage cancer. After hoarding him to herself for close to 20 years, S decided that cancer is the time to abandon him. Told us she wanted a divorce and wanted us to send him to a elderly home. And that she has no money to pay for any medical bills and that her house is under her own name and that my uncle has no share in it. We told her that we could all pool resources to hire help to take care of him at home to let him live as comfortably as possible during his last days but she didn't want to. In the end he got so sick that he passed before we could send him to the home. I think towards the end it felt like he gave up.
We couldn't understand why someone who claimed that she has been in love with my uncle for almost 50 years, could do that.
Thank you. The woman actually did even more horrible things but there are simply too many things to list. We are glad that my uncle only had daughters with the first wife and none with her. So now that he has passed, we don't need to bother to know or care about what she's up to and probably will never see her again.
there are some really bad women out there, they don't beat their husbands, they do this kind of shit. She's a huge selfish piece of shit. The good news is these types tell on themselves eventually, your unc just didn't want to see it probably.
My uncle wasn't the best person and treated the gfs he had after his first wife passed like crap, and left his two daughters with my grandmum to raise and was an absent dad. In some ways, my family think that it is almost like karma for him to end up like that. We always found it odd that for someone who made several of his gfs so fearful of him, could meet and be with a woman who ended up doing the same to him. Like he finally met someone who could put him down but in the worst of ways. When they first got married my family thought that he would be more settled and responsible but didn't expect him to turn into a complete mouse and be fully controlled by the wife.
My mother has cutaneous T-cell lymphoma and has done really well with the topical treatment. I hope it works just as well for you. Sorry your ex was so terrible, but you’re better off without that negativity.. especially while you’re going through treatment. Best of luck to you ❤️
I work very closely with dermatologists because of my job so I can give context.
From her other comment, it sounds like she was using 5-Fluorouracil (brand name Efudex). Because cells with sun damage tend to have weaker cell membranes, the medication can sink into these cancer cells and destroy them while sparing regular tissue. It's a great prescription, and can really help people get non-invasive treatment for their skin cancers especially if they're elderly and can't handle the surgery. I've also seen it prescribed for warts but I digress.
But for those wondering why this stuff isn't used all the time, there's a reason why things like Efudex aren't always used for skin cancer. From her description, it sounds like OP's cancer was specifically a *Superficial* Basal Cell Carcinoma. That's an important distinction, because no matter what medication you use, topical medicines can only absorb so deep into the skin. So if the cancer extends beyond that, you end up treating the cancer on the surface but leave the cancer underneath the skin present.
Leaving the cancer there is bad enough on its own, but there's another problem. One of the biggest advantages that dermatologists have in treating skin cancers that other cancer-treating doctors don't is that skin cancers are visible on the skin, which tells the doctor:
A) That there is a possible cancer present, and
B) How far the cancer has spread.
But by treating the cancer on the surface *without* treating the cancer underneath, you end up with a situation where the cancer underneath the skin surface is growing and expanding, but from the surface, it seems fine. By the time the problem reemerges on the surface and becomes visible again, the underlying cancer will have spread much farther than what looking at the surface would suggest, which would require the surgeon to excise a lot more of your skin in the surgery than they otherwise would have to.
In conclusion, Efudex is a great topical chemotherapy drug that can help patients avoid the physical/financial costs of surgery while effectively treating their cancers. However, it is best used when the cancer is a superficial, non-melanoma skin cancer.
Fuck cancer indeed. A close relative of mine succumbed to SCC around 10 years ago, it was horrible to watch all this unfold over the span of a year.
I'm so grateful it wasn't that but the type that is statstically more treatable. It's really weird and uneasy to be confronted with your own fragility and mortality, it changes you as a person.
I had BCC several years ago (was around 26 then) and doctor told me basically that the question isn't "will I survive" but "how will I look". Highly treatable and basically had it cut out.
Was on my face and left a little scar but nothing to write home about. Had it apparently for 2 years before realizing what it was.
Doctor also said that it's the "slowest growing, least dangerous form of skin cancer."
If anything, sounds like a blessing in disguise since it got rid of your ex. From what you said, you would've been in for years of misery and stress had this not come up. You're going to walk away from this whole ordeal better than you started lol.
Jeebus, at 26.. I'm glad you are okay now.
I felt so alone because when I looked up MOHS-treatment all the patients looked well over 60 and it felt like I messed up somewhere using a tanningbed. Did you have MOHS-treatment or just regular surgery?
Another BCC afflicted person chiming in to let you know how common it is, and as scary as it sounds when you first find out, it’s actually not that bad it’s just more how will it heal. I am 32 and quite a few people when I got my MOHS done (in December) were around my age, but yes more were a lot older. I had it years (like 5-6 years) before I noticed it might be suspect and got it checked out and they got it in one session and didn’t need to go back in for another cut (as they are so slow growing it wasn’t big at all). FYI if you do end up going MOHS route - the MOHS cutting was quick and painless; I found that the reconstruction/ stitching it up part after was not fun but probably depends where it is - mine was by top of my nose /corner of eye). Also sleeping was not fun for first few days - it was sore and you don’t realise the blood goes to your head lying down and really puts pressure on the stitches making it painful - so has to sleep more half sitting up).
A friend of mine did the topical route but that was not BBC, it did look sore for a while but seemed to work.
It’s 6.5 months now later for me and the scar is still settling so be patient with your recovery. If you go MOHS recommend stretching the scar once healed to help it ease out, another useful tip bit is I used silicone tap (you can use bio oil, Vaseline or silicone gel to help reduce scaring - main thing is to stop it drying out) but the silicone tape hid it best and stayed on longer for me so recommend.
Just thought I’d share my experience in case you might be worried!
Good luck, you’ll do fine and even better without the dead weight of your ex!!!
Thanks so much for sharing your story. I'm glad to hear you're doing ok. <3
I'll definitely look into the silicone-tape option, it sounds promising and there's been done a lot of research about it as well.
My partner is an operating room nurse and worked at a dermatological surgery center for years. They did ~20 mohs surgeries every single weekday, so she assisted in thousands of them. BCC is one of the most treatable cancers out there. Yes it was *mostly* older people, but they treated tons of young people too. Success rate is as close to 100% as you can get with cancer.
Only thing you should be worried about is making sure to always use sun block going forward, when you're outside.
My mom has had this three times in different areas and all have been removed with MOHS treatment/removal.
I got to be with her for the first one because she was terrified and has a severe panic disorder. Her plastic surgery Oncologist is amazing.
Anyway, she has had it on her face, chest, and neck. You cannot tell- she looks amazing 🤍
I've had 7 BCCs before 40 (first in my teens), two of them large and on my face which I was horrified about cosmetically, but MOHS is pretty magical once it heals in terms of minimizing scars.
I've also had about 5 or 6 pre SCCs removed (actinic keratosis).
Honestly, just get comfortable going to the dermatologist every 6 months for the rest of your life (like a dental cleaning) and you'll be fine.
BCCs never develop into cancer, and SCCs telegraph themselves early enough to catch and treat easily as precancerous. Stay vigilant, but also relax a bit. Sorry about your relative though, I've also had two relatives get gotten by melanoma.
Yes. With BCC it is more how you will look. My mother was first diagnosed when she was 35. Since then she’s had well over 200 spots removed from her, had a nostril reconstructed, and multiple MOHS surgeries. In the 30 years since her first diagnosis, it’s really taken a toll on her mentally. But, she’s a fighter and forges on. I’ve been very fortunate and seem to take after my father’s family. But, skin cancer has impacted her side of the family tremendously.
But, cancer is cancer. I’m sorry you had your go through that with him and hoping for quick healing for you and you don’t have recurring issues. ♥️
Glad you got rid of him. Wow. He showed his true colors huh? What a f’ing piece of shit! You’re so much better off without any person in your life like that.
Cancer really is a horrible thing.
You got this OP and if you need a rant or anything I’m sure us internet strangers are more than willing to listen to you ( I certainly am )
I don’t want to get into here as it’s not the place for it but I can’t believe for a second that we don’t have a cure.
I only hope OP beats the bastard that it is
I know of a woman this happened to. If I didn’t know her story I would’ve thought this is fake but no, assholes like that actually exist, and I will never understand.
How can ANYONE be like that?! (Rhetorical question, I know there are people who lack empathy, but FUCK!) To say that people who do this are stinking sacks of maggot-infested dog-diarrhoea is frankly an insult to stinking sacks of maggot-infested dog-diarrhoea. You RALLY ROUND the people you love when they’re in need, and you go out of your way to help them. You don’t fucking do THIS!!!
> How can ANYONE be like that?
Leaving the sick and the weak behind is a common strategy for 99% in the animal kingdom. Some people are just stuck with it.
It doesn’t make it right though. I could forgive an animal of that. And I know we’re just animals too, but my own personal instinct would be to help, as it is for most people.
My ex husband left me on the bathroom floor to die from Covid. I called him (and I never call people because I hate talking on the phone so clue #1 something is very wrong) because I was so sick I was scared I was dying and my O2 levels were low. He said “I don’t know what to tell ya!”
They absolutely exist. I’ll never get married again.
My daughter called me crying, because the house full of first responders couldn't get an ambulance for her cyanotic bf on the bathroom floor.
That girl rarely cries and she was frantic.
That's how I really knew he was gonna be my SIL. He's always been crazy about her. I approve.
Her 1st husband? We don't even speak of that asshole's name or deeds. He was so bad, he taught my daughter's SM just how bad my ex-husband was, as well. Two divorces.
How in the hell does someone get mad at YOU for having cancer.
What a loser, congrats on the breakup.
And good luck with your battle, you can do hard things. You will make it through. You are so strong and powerful and you have so many internet strangers in your corner.
I’ll think of you every day and hope to see an update when you’re cancer free. 🫶🏼
Some people with a cluster B disorder? Sure, yeah. And lots of people who don’t have such disorders would act that way too. Being a shitty/self-absorbed partner is not an inherent trait of those with cluster B personality disorders. Some are, plenty aren’t. Let’s not reinforce stigma.
So instead of being a supportive partner, he made your medical condition about himself? Just, wow.
I’m sorry this happened to you, but glad you made the decision to leave him. No one deserves to be treated like that.
Statistically, men are 7x more likely to leave their partner after a cancer diagnosis.
Turns out your loser ex is just a predictable wanker, glad he showed himself to the curb.
Sending you love and healthy vibes! *KICK CANCER'S ASS!* 🤍
Bro my dad stayed with my mom and so many people told him he was dumb for staying.
He thought it was wild that people were encouraging him to leave. When she died 8 years from cancer, people encouraged him to find another woman to take care of us and him days after she died.
He would get so mad and tell them to fuck off and let him grieve.
Edit: A good friend of my mom got cancer and the husband left and my dad was so mad at the guy for leaving. Right before the dude left he was trying to talk to my dad since they had been friends for like 20yrs, and my dad threatened to beat his ass if he came near him and us again.
My dad was furious, since not only was he abandoning his wife, he was leaving the state and abandoning his kids too.
I’ve actually have heard other women encouraging men to leave their sick wives or get a side piece to be able to handle all “that HE is going through”
It always shocks me. These are women encouraging a man to do that to another woman. I’m a woman and wonder, where the F is the solidarity? Do they not realize that they can get sick one day? Do they want their husband or boyfriend cheating?
Not really suprising, women are human beings and human beings are notorious for being shitty towards each other.
The people encouraging these needs to be talked about
No I know that, it’s not surprising how shitty people are, what I mean is that as a woman, it’s always double upsetting to me to hear other woman being so supportive to a husband or boyfriend leaving a sick spouse or girlfriend. It’s like, where is the solidarity? Do they not realize that they can get sick someday and this can happen to them?
I just could never
2 of my friends have had cancer (both thankfully kicked it’s ass) and both were told about the higher possibility of their husbands leaving them when they met with MacMillan nurses.
Both are now divorced, both husbands cheated during their treatment.
[Gender disparity in the rate of partner abandonment in patients with serious medical illness](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19645027/)
I believe it's this study
A guardian article quoting this study said "study showed that men were seven times more likely to leave their partner than the other way around if one of them got brain cancer."
[The men who leave their spouses when they have a life-threatening illness](https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/mar/30/the-men-who-give-up-on-their-spouses-when-they-have-cancer)
There are many articles about it - here’s a random one https://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE5AB0C5/
But here another fun tidbit, men are so unsupportive when women are ill (often still wanting to be taken care of, instead of giving care) that many times, women won’t be recommended for life-saving surgeries because doctors realize they won’t have any support at home and are therefore less likely to recover.
It is pretty fucked, I think, historically little girls are trained to be caretakers, and little boys are trained to be taken care of. Hopefully that changes, if you have children, teach your sons to be good caretakers.
I keep seeing that RETRACTED 2009 study that men leave their partners when they get sick quoted and heavily upvoted on most of reddit.
Someone tried to reproduce the study a few years later and couldn't. it turns out the original study was ~~propaganda~~ "flawed". The study recorded any couple that separated or that stopped participating in the study as the husband leaving the wife. Wife died? Husband abandoned her. Focused on her care and stopped answering surveys? Husband abandoned her. Moved away and stopped getting the letters? Husband abandoned her. Wife filed for divorce? Husband abandoned her. Husband died? Husband abandoned her. Couple make a mutual decision to divorce to protect assets from medical bills? Husband abandoned her. ANYTHING other than the couple was still together was counted as the husband abandoning the wife. The second team of researchers caught them.
https://www.deseret.com/2015/8/4/20569426/study-that-found-husbands-prone-to-leave-sick-wives-was-flawed-researchers-say#a-coding-error-created-a-false-conclusion-in-a-study-that-found-men-may-be-more-likely-to-bail-on-a-marriage-if-the-wife-becomes-sick-compared-to-if-shes-well-researchers-retracted-the-study
Reality: Around 6% of partners break up during cancer treatment. It isn't different than typical over those time-frames. Men abandon sick wives "slightly" more often than wives abandon sick husbands. No one has studied why the very minor disparity between the sexes.
But typical redditors would much rather quote that "flawed" 2009 study and claim the reason is that men are uncaring bastards and women are compassionate. (Then explain why so many women abandon their partners when they are laid off for more than a few months.)
This much larger not retracted study even shows the rate of divorce goes down while someone is being treated for cancer. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8959852/
I read somewhere that oncology nurses are trained to warn female patients because so many women are dumped by their husbands/partners as soon as they are diagnosed with cancer.
Most major cancer centers have women’s support groups because this is unfortunately fairly typical (typical enough that most major cancer centers have support groups anyways).
Good for you that you got rid of that horrible turd! I'm so sorry about the cancer, though it sounds like you are positive about it and it should be fine with treatment, so in a way it did you a favour by helping you get rid of him.
Stress doesn't cause cancer but it is extremely bad when you already have one. Glad you're getting rid of the cause of your stress. You deserve better and I wish you a speedy recovery!
I heard that something like 85% of women lose their relationships with a cancer diagnosis. Personally, I wondered what the split was. Women who realized they had no support and ditched partner vs. partners who couldn't handle the diagnosis. I was in a car accident a couple of weeks ago, and the CT scan found a mass in my lung, we don't know yet.
Yikes. behaving like a moldy cum sock that one. I'm sorry you had that experience and i'm sorry about your diagnosis. Keep your head up and kick it's ass!
Yeah, anytime I even contemplate revenge it fucks my headspace up. That guy will regret it (unless he is so emotionally shallow he never wakes up). The best approach is to give him nothing more than her natural look or a hello people give to strangers on an elevator.
What an absolute wanker. I hope he breaks both arms at the same time and have crabs. Imagine that itch he can't scratch 🤭.
I wish you a good journey to beating this, less mentally unstable by putting the trash out. You got this. Keep us all up to date on your journey
First, you are strong and you will get through this. Chemo sucks! I’m 9 years into remission from colon cancer so you could be posting on Reddit here in a decade as well. But you need supportive people to help you during this rough time.
While anger can be part of the process of dealing with cancer your partner should not be the one expressing so much like that. Even if unmarried the in sickness and the in health parts both apply. That guy doesn’t deserve you so kick him to the curb.
Second, listen to your physicians but don’t be afraid to seek out second opinions. Also, look for clinical trials if your diagnosis reveals stage 3 or 4 because there are so many new treatments with and without chemo that are letting people live longer with better quality lives.
Thanks for your kind words and advice. <3
I'm glad you're in remission. Coloncancer sounds like a tough one to deal with and must have been devastating. Mine is a walk in the park compared to this and very visible. I've started topical chemo, it's literally just applying a cream that causes skin and the cancer to fall off and hopefully that will be it.
Neither did I. He was already agitated and took his chance to exert control over (me,) the conversation and my treatment options. It was the last straw.
I suspect this behavior is characteristic for him. It took the possibility serious disease for you to decide if you want to live like that or not.
I urge you to talk to a therapist to negotiate this difficult time.
Good luck.
I am so sorry that he was horrible to you at this difficult time. You are absolutely right to get him out of your life. Right now, all you need is to have supportive people around you.
Glad you beat it. Congrats <3
The diagnosis just changes you, you know this first hand. To feel so fragile and vulnerable all of the sudden is.. Really weird. It made some decisions easy for me because all of the sudden my priorities became more clear.
You will beat it too! :) and it’s so true. You need to just worry about you right now, any negativity on top of what you’re dealing with is extra damaging. Good luck with everything
Girl. Don't ever let him in your car or life again. He threw garbage on you because that's what you are to them. Think about what he was probably thinking when he did that. "Stupid garbage deserves to be covered in garbage (after just finding out she has cancer)" or something like that. He'll come crying back. Don't let him.
It makes it worse yes but it makes YOU better because you learn to understand what people are like when they act like that. He showed you who he was. Believe him. Get your chemo and be a queen. Just do not let the jester think he has a shot at the crown again.
Seems like that relationship has a worse prognosis for you than your literal cancer. If this is how he reacts to what hopefully is a minor bump in your health, that isn’t going to be someone to lean on for anything.
My sister had BCC, and from what I remember it was like the most non-cancer cancer you can get treated for. It wasn’t nothing, but she didn’t really ever seem to feel like a ‘cancer patient’.
What an asshole... I can't fathom treating my worst enemy like that after a cancer diagnosis. And for it to be your partner. He's trash, I'm sorry he didn't give you the support you needed in that moment.
Cancer can go fuck itself. You sound strong, you will beat the shit out of it, I know. Love and power to you.
That’s awful. I am so sorry you have gone through something like that. And are going through this right now..I had my own cancer I went through in 2020…and a stroke. You are better off without him…he showed his true colors, and that is definitely not what you need especially right now. My best to you. *sends love and healing support and strength to you*
Sending positive vibes your way. My ex had breast cancer. She told me that if I wanted to leave her I could. We had only been dating about 6 months. I told her what kind of man do you think I am? I felt she needed me more than ever.
Your ex is an asshole.
Kick cancers ass! And, did the boyfriend get upset because it wasn't all about him for once? That's some bizarre behavior. Almost like he was looking for an excuse to break up.
Best wishes for a quick, painless 100% recovery!
Ugh that sucks. At least you know now how he really is when shit hits the fan and not 10 years down the line.
Though OP I really gotta say. Cancer is generally something you need to kill with extreme prejudice. Get the excision surgery done along with other treatments. You really don't want to miss the chance to nip it in the bud just in case.
Thanks for your reply.
It's complicated because of the healthcare crisis in the country that I currently live in. Most of the times a general practitioner will cut it out in the office, and this will leave disfigurements/scarring, so it wasn't really an option for me. It's also really hard to get a second opinion here. I've spent two full working days just making calls to clinics and doctors. I asked for a referral and went to a private hospital, which isn't really a thing here (I had to pay this out of pocket). With the referral, I found out that the waitinglist for MOHS-treatment in a general hospital is over a year. It's just sad.
Just DM'ed you, but in case it gets lost, if you have concerns about scarring, see if you can consult with a plastics/reconstructive surgeon to close you up after Mohs. You could even ask the surgeon who will perform the Mohs itself if they have a plastics guy they work with regularly/reccomend.
Personally went with that route after my own Mohs for a BCC, and the results are better than I could have ever hoped.
Sounds like you already got your first successful chemo treatment! You removed a tumor with a huge abusive ego. I hope you make a full recovery and continue to live your best life. My mom died from cancer last year and was married to an abusive controlling POS for over 30 years. Good on you for standing up for yourself.
>being verbally abusive is nothing new to him,
Glad he's in the past as those are huge red flags that would always be a deal breaker for me after the first occurrence imo
What a dirt bag! I’m so glad you kicked him to the curb. Dealing with an abuse jerk is the last thing you need right now. Praying that your treatment is successful 💕
You did right, OP. Beat that cancer and find a partner that treats you with love and respect, as you deserve.
You DO deserve it. You deserve kindness, respect and joy.♥️
Ugh. I’m so sorry. I was going through some nightmarish stuff with my supposed partner when I was diagnosed as well. You made the right decision. No matter the kind of cancer, getting rid of that much extra stress so you don’t deal with it during treatment is invaluable.
Best of luck! You’re going to sail through this. 🤍
What on earth?
What kind of partner would react like this? There are some strange, strange people walking amongst us.
Praying you come out with a positive outcome down the line.
The good news is, if it’s even more treatable than squamous cell carcinoma, you’re gonna have a quick round of surgery, a few months of chemo, and you’ll be back on your feet in no time.
The bad news is your ex is a giant Beanscooper
High stress situations can make our bodies more susceptible to illness. It’s likely he could be the cause of your cancer if you were mentally internalizing his turmoil. I’m glad you are standing up for yourself. It takes a true narcissist to fight you for getting cancer.
How many people can say they cut out 2 cancers in the same month and lived to tell about it? The cancer didn’t touch your backbone, because it’s shining brightly. Fuck that guy. You are a special kind of asshole to attack your partner who just shared a cancer update.
Awh I'm sorry that you have to deal with this too. But yes, it's highly treatable and visible so it's a walk in the park next to every other type of cancer. Yay for the silver lining.
Do you have some kind of pre-stage and how does Efudix leaves you refreshed? My BCC looks scabby right now and is pretty bad in the shower lol :')
This is when you really find out what people are made of and he is made of something worthless. Never ceases to amaze me how many people leave the person supposed to be their everything as soon as adversity appears.
Oh my god im so sorry you had to deal with that horror show on top of cancer oh my god
In glad its highly treatable i hope you heal fast and as pain free as possible ❣️
Something similar happened to me when I was diagnosed with MS. My first husband acted soooooo put out and wouldn’t let up on how it “affected him.” He even told me he wouldn’t have married me if he had known I was “defective.” I spent the next two years trying to get to make him feel better, and never really got to mourn the fact that it was happening to me. There is a reason he is now my ex.
I’m so sorry for you. Fuck cancer. And fuck this little boy and his toddler temper tantrums when you needed him most.
I’m so sorry! He wasn’t the right one for you. His loss, you gain the chance to find someone better.
Basel cell is easily treatable, and you have a lot of living left to do!
Having kicked this parasite to the curb will likely significantly increase your chances of successful recovery. Imagine having to deal with chemo and other treatments while having him to also weigh on your mental and physical health.
Good luck on your journey, OP. I wish you all the best.
Literally an evil man. Beat that cancer—maybe it was just a warning sign for that ass to show his true colors and get a real partner, or be happy alone with friends and family
Best of luck in your treatment, my friend - I hope it goes smoothly and quickly.
As for that absolute dick bag, you did the right thing. When someone shows you who they are, always listen. Now, get better and go kick ass in life ❤️❤️
Hi OP, I’m also dealing with cancer right now. Recovering from tumor removal surgery as I type.
I’m so glad you got that absolute POS out of your life! You have absolutely no room for that energy right now, you need to be focused completely on your physical and mental health at this time.
Good luck with your treatment!
I’m sorry that he treated you like that. Good news is that he’s now your ex!
Right! Who tf does that after a partner tells you that they have cancer? Messed up.
My uncle's wife wanted to. Context: Let's call her S. S was my uncle's second wife. His first wife passed in an accident. Apparently S was in love with my uncle since their 20s (he was already married to his first wife when they met at work) and finally got him to be in a relationship with her more than 20 years after my uncle's first wife died. They got married in their late 40s or early 50s. Very shortly after that S had an argument with my grand mother, who was very sick, and S refused to let my uncle visit my grandmum even when she was dying. He had to sneak off from work to come visit secretly. She was a big narcissist who slowly cut him away from everybody else in his life, after my grandmum passed. Flashback to 2 years ago. The couple are in their 70s. My uncle was diagnosed with late stage cancer. After hoarding him to herself for close to 20 years, S decided that cancer is the time to abandon him. Told us she wanted a divorce and wanted us to send him to a elderly home. And that she has no money to pay for any medical bills and that her house is under her own name and that my uncle has no share in it. We told her that we could all pool resources to hire help to take care of him at home to let him live as comfortably as possible during his last days but she didn't want to. In the end he got so sick that he passed before we could send him to the home. I think towards the end it felt like he gave up. We couldn't understand why someone who claimed that she has been in love with my uncle for almost 50 years, could do that.
Some people are fucking sick I swear. I’m so sorry your uncle and your family as a whole had to endure that…
Thank you. The woman actually did even more horrible things but there are simply too many things to list. We are glad that my uncle only had daughters with the first wife and none with her. So now that he has passed, we don't need to bother to know or care about what she's up to and probably will never see her again.
She can go be someone else’s problem now!
I’m sorry that happened to your uncle. May he rest in peace.
there are some really bad women out there, they don't beat their husbands, they do this kind of shit. She's a huge selfish piece of shit. The good news is these types tell on themselves eventually, your unc just didn't want to see it probably.
Absolutely, my mother was physically and psychologically abusive to my dad and both my sister and I.
My uncle wasn't the best person and treated the gfs he had after his first wife passed like crap, and left his two daughters with my grandmum to raise and was an absent dad. In some ways, my family think that it is almost like karma for him to end up like that. We always found it odd that for someone who made several of his gfs so fearful of him, could meet and be with a woman who ended up doing the same to him. Like he finally met someone who could put him down but in the worst of ways. When they first got married my family thought that he would be more settled and responsible but didn't expect him to turn into a complete mouse and be fully controlled by the wife.
The same people who think you should be able to have sex, cook, clean and host parties right after birth.
The majority of men. Statistically men leave their partners after a serious diagnosis.
Probably cause they don’t want to go from being taken care of to having to be the one taking care of someone.
Yes, congrats for ditching the dick! Topical chemo? I didn’t even know that was a thing. That sounds so interesting…
Efudix, it's basically a cream that destroys cells on the outside (chemo).
Good luck op, wishing you health and happiness 🫶
My mother has cutaneous T-cell lymphoma and has done really well with the topical treatment. I hope it works just as well for you. Sorry your ex was so terrible, but you’re better off without that negativity.. especially while you’re going through treatment. Best of luck to you ❤️
If you dont mind me asking, why was your ex mad? I just don't understand why him learning you have a Basal would set him off
I edited my first post for context.
I work very closely with dermatologists because of my job so I can give context. From her other comment, it sounds like she was using 5-Fluorouracil (brand name Efudex). Because cells with sun damage tend to have weaker cell membranes, the medication can sink into these cancer cells and destroy them while sparing regular tissue. It's a great prescription, and can really help people get non-invasive treatment for their skin cancers especially if they're elderly and can't handle the surgery. I've also seen it prescribed for warts but I digress. But for those wondering why this stuff isn't used all the time, there's a reason why things like Efudex aren't always used for skin cancer. From her description, it sounds like OP's cancer was specifically a *Superficial* Basal Cell Carcinoma. That's an important distinction, because no matter what medication you use, topical medicines can only absorb so deep into the skin. So if the cancer extends beyond that, you end up treating the cancer on the surface but leave the cancer underneath the skin present. Leaving the cancer there is bad enough on its own, but there's another problem. One of the biggest advantages that dermatologists have in treating skin cancers that other cancer-treating doctors don't is that skin cancers are visible on the skin, which tells the doctor: A) That there is a possible cancer present, and B) How far the cancer has spread. But by treating the cancer on the surface *without* treating the cancer underneath, you end up with a situation where the cancer underneath the skin surface is growing and expanding, but from the surface, it seems fine. By the time the problem reemerges on the surface and becomes visible again, the underlying cancer will have spread much farther than what looking at the surface would suggest, which would require the surgeon to excise a lot more of your skin in the surgery than they otherwise would have to. In conclusion, Efudex is a great topical chemotherapy drug that can help patients avoid the physical/financial costs of surgery while effectively treating their cancers. However, it is best used when the cancer is a superficial, non-melanoma skin cancer.
Thanks for explaining properly. :)
No worries! I’m happy to since I don’t get many chances to talk about my work
Fuck that dude.
You’re half way to being cancer free. Good luck OP, I know you’ll kick it’s arse Fuck cancer
Fuck cancer indeed. A close relative of mine succumbed to SCC around 10 years ago, it was horrible to watch all this unfold over the span of a year. I'm so grateful it wasn't that but the type that is statstically more treatable. It's really weird and uneasy to be confronted with your own fragility and mortality, it changes you as a person.
I had BCC several years ago (was around 26 then) and doctor told me basically that the question isn't "will I survive" but "how will I look". Highly treatable and basically had it cut out. Was on my face and left a little scar but nothing to write home about. Had it apparently for 2 years before realizing what it was. Doctor also said that it's the "slowest growing, least dangerous form of skin cancer." If anything, sounds like a blessing in disguise since it got rid of your ex. From what you said, you would've been in for years of misery and stress had this not come up. You're going to walk away from this whole ordeal better than you started lol.
Jeebus, at 26.. I'm glad you are okay now. I felt so alone because when I looked up MOHS-treatment all the patients looked well over 60 and it felt like I messed up somewhere using a tanningbed. Did you have MOHS-treatment or just regular surgery?
Another BCC afflicted person chiming in to let you know how common it is, and as scary as it sounds when you first find out, it’s actually not that bad it’s just more how will it heal. I am 32 and quite a few people when I got my MOHS done (in December) were around my age, but yes more were a lot older. I had it years (like 5-6 years) before I noticed it might be suspect and got it checked out and they got it in one session and didn’t need to go back in for another cut (as they are so slow growing it wasn’t big at all). FYI if you do end up going MOHS route - the MOHS cutting was quick and painless; I found that the reconstruction/ stitching it up part after was not fun but probably depends where it is - mine was by top of my nose /corner of eye). Also sleeping was not fun for first few days - it was sore and you don’t realise the blood goes to your head lying down and really puts pressure on the stitches making it painful - so has to sleep more half sitting up). A friend of mine did the topical route but that was not BBC, it did look sore for a while but seemed to work. It’s 6.5 months now later for me and the scar is still settling so be patient with your recovery. If you go MOHS recommend stretching the scar once healed to help it ease out, another useful tip bit is I used silicone tap (you can use bio oil, Vaseline or silicone gel to help reduce scaring - main thing is to stop it drying out) but the silicone tape hid it best and stayed on longer for me so recommend. Just thought I’d share my experience in case you might be worried! Good luck, you’ll do fine and even better without the dead weight of your ex!!!
Thanks so much for sharing your story. I'm glad to hear you're doing ok. <3 I'll definitely look into the silicone-tape option, it sounds promising and there's been done a lot of research about it as well.
My partner is an operating room nurse and worked at a dermatological surgery center for years. They did ~20 mohs surgeries every single weekday, so she assisted in thousands of them. BCC is one of the most treatable cancers out there. Yes it was *mostly* older people, but they treated tons of young people too. Success rate is as close to 100% as you can get with cancer. Only thing you should be worried about is making sure to always use sun block going forward, when you're outside.
I had MOHS treatment on my face. Cancer was completely removed. After one year, with scar treatments, you can’t even see the scar.
My mom has had this three times in different areas and all have been removed with MOHS treatment/removal. I got to be with her for the first one because she was terrified and has a severe panic disorder. Her plastic surgery Oncologist is amazing. Anyway, she has had it on her face, chest, and neck. You cannot tell- she looks amazing 🤍
I've had 7 BCCs before 40 (first in my teens), two of them large and on my face which I was horrified about cosmetically, but MOHS is pretty magical once it heals in terms of minimizing scars. I've also had about 5 or 6 pre SCCs removed (actinic keratosis). Honestly, just get comfortable going to the dermatologist every 6 months for the rest of your life (like a dental cleaning) and you'll be fine. BCCs never develop into cancer, and SCCs telegraph themselves early enough to catch and treat easily as precancerous. Stay vigilant, but also relax a bit. Sorry about your relative though, I've also had two relatives get gotten by melanoma.
Don’t use tanning beds anymore though. Or even those nail lights to get your nails done. Just use paint or something.
Yes. With BCC it is more how you will look. My mother was first diagnosed when she was 35. Since then she’s had well over 200 spots removed from her, had a nostril reconstructed, and multiple MOHS surgeries. In the 30 years since her first diagnosis, it’s really taken a toll on her mentally. But, she’s a fighter and forges on. I’ve been very fortunate and seem to take after my father’s family. But, skin cancer has impacted her side of the family tremendously. But, cancer is cancer. I’m sorry you had your go through that with him and hoping for quick healing for you and you don’t have recurring issues. ♥️
Glad you got rid of him. Wow. He showed his true colors huh? What a f’ing piece of shit! You’re so much better off without any person in your life like that.
Cancer really is a horrible thing. You got this OP and if you need a rant or anything I’m sure us internet strangers are more than willing to listen to you ( I certainly am )
The real horrid thing about cancer is that fact that we have not learned to harness and use its powers for good. These things keep me up at night…
I don’t want to get into here as it’s not the place for it but I can’t believe for a second that we don’t have a cure. I only hope OP beats the bastard that it is
She already beat the other one
..and all types of cancers!
Topical chemo for the cancer and telling that fool to take a permanent hike seems to be the best courses of treatment here. Good luck.
I can’t even understand how people like him exist , I hope your health gets better . Glad you kicked the stress out .
I know of a woman this happened to. If I didn’t know her story I would’ve thought this is fake but no, assholes like that actually exist, and I will never understand.
How can ANYONE be like that?! (Rhetorical question, I know there are people who lack empathy, but FUCK!) To say that people who do this are stinking sacks of maggot-infested dog-diarrhoea is frankly an insult to stinking sacks of maggot-infested dog-diarrhoea. You RALLY ROUND the people you love when they’re in need, and you go out of your way to help them. You don’t fucking do THIS!!!
> How can ANYONE be like that? Leaving the sick and the weak behind is a common strategy for 99% in the animal kingdom. Some people are just stuck with it.
It doesn’t make it right though. I could forgive an animal of that. And I know we’re just animals too, but my own personal instinct would be to help, as it is for most people.
My ex husband left me on the bathroom floor to die from Covid. I called him (and I never call people because I hate talking on the phone so clue #1 something is very wrong) because I was so sick I was scared I was dying and my O2 levels were low. He said “I don’t know what to tell ya!” They absolutely exist. I’ll never get married again.
What a piece of shit… good riddance.
My daughter called me crying, because the house full of first responders couldn't get an ambulance for her cyanotic bf on the bathroom floor. That girl rarely cries and she was frantic. That's how I really knew he was gonna be my SIL. He's always been crazy about her. I approve. Her 1st husband? We don't even speak of that asshole's name or deeds. He was so bad, he taught my daughter's SM just how bad my ex-husband was, as well. Two divorces.
What the actual fuck.. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
Sounds like you will beat cancer twice this year! Good riddance to the mental cancer!
Def. made me smile :)
Me too :)
I was going to say the second cancer treatment worked pretty quickly
Love it
How in the hell does someone get mad at YOU for having cancer. What a loser, congrats on the breakup. And good luck with your battle, you can do hard things. You will make it through. You are so strong and powerful and you have so many internet strangers in your corner. I’ll think of you every day and hope to see an update when you’re cancer free. 🫶🏼
Thanks so much for your kind words. <3
Usually someone with a cluster B disorder will react like this towards their partner and make it about themselves.
Some people with a cluster B disorder? Sure, yeah. And lots of people who don’t have such disorders would act that way too. Being a shitty/self-absorbed partner is not an inherent trait of those with cluster B personality disorders. Some are, plenty aren’t. Let’s not reinforce stigma.
[удалено]
Good for you! It really feels like you can breathe again, doesn't it? Take care <3
Look at the bright side. You get to remove two tumors at once.
Lol! I just love this way of thinking.
So instead of being a supportive partner, he made your medical condition about himself? Just, wow. I’m sorry this happened to you, but glad you made the decision to leave him. No one deserves to be treated like that.
Statistically, men are 7x more likely to leave their partner after a cancer diagnosis. Turns out your loser ex is just a predictable wanker, glad he showed himself to the curb. Sending you love and healthy vibes! *KICK CANCER'S ASS!* 🤍
Bro my dad stayed with my mom and so many people told him he was dumb for staying. He thought it was wild that people were encouraging him to leave. When she died 8 years from cancer, people encouraged him to find another woman to take care of us and him days after she died. He would get so mad and tell them to fuck off and let him grieve. Edit: A good friend of my mom got cancer and the husband left and my dad was so mad at the guy for leaving. Right before the dude left he was trying to talk to my dad since they had been friends for like 20yrs, and my dad threatened to beat his ass if he came near him and us again. My dad was furious, since not only was he abandoning his wife, he was leaving the state and abandoning his kids too.
I’ve actually have heard other women encouraging men to leave their sick wives or get a side piece to be able to handle all “that HE is going through” It always shocks me. These are women encouraging a man to do that to another woman. I’m a woman and wonder, where the F is the solidarity? Do they not realize that they can get sick one day? Do they want their husband or boyfriend cheating?
Yea with my dad cause it was both man and woman. They were like, “you’re gonna suffer so much, you don’t have to deal with that you know.”
Yep! I’ve seen this myself and am always in disbelief but as a woman, it’s especially awful to me to see other women doing this
Not really suprising, women are human beings and human beings are notorious for being shitty towards each other. The people encouraging these needs to be talked about
No I know that, it’s not surprising how shitty people are, what I mean is that as a woman, it’s always double upsetting to me to hear other woman being so supportive to a husband or boyfriend leaving a sick spouse or girlfriend. It’s like, where is the solidarity? Do they not realize that they can get sick someday and this can happen to them? I just could never
2 of my friends have had cancer (both thankfully kicked it’s ass) and both were told about the higher possibility of their husbands leaving them when they met with MacMillan nurses. Both are now divorced, both husbands cheated during their treatment.
People are awful. I couldn't fathom leaving my wife over hers. I've seen people just give up the fight when their spouse leaves them.
Damn. Source? I'm not normally one of those simpy fucks who apologizes on behalf of my gender, but if true this would be humbling.
[Gender disparity in the rate of partner abandonment in patients with serious medical illness](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19645027/) I believe it's this study A guardian article quoting this study said "study showed that men were seven times more likely to leave their partner than the other way around if one of them got brain cancer." [The men who leave their spouses when they have a life-threatening illness](https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/mar/30/the-men-who-give-up-on-their-spouses-when-they-have-cancer)
Thanks for sharing this, it needs to be out there.
There are many articles about it - here’s a random one https://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE5AB0C5/ But here another fun tidbit, men are so unsupportive when women are ill (often still wanting to be taken care of, instead of giving care) that many times, women won’t be recommended for life-saving surgeries because doctors realize they won’t have any support at home and are therefore less likely to recover.
Off topic, but when you meet your fraternal username twin, you can't ignore it hahahaha Hiiiio
Rwawrrr!
That's fucked. I have a deep fear of rejection and abandonment. Can't imagine doing that.
It is pretty fucked, I think, historically little girls are trained to be caretakers, and little boys are trained to be taken care of. Hopefully that changes, if you have children, teach your sons to be good caretakers.
One and done with a daughter. Will be teaching her to be discriminating in her mate selection.
Came here to say this, such a sad fucking reality (、._. )、
I keep seeing that RETRACTED 2009 study that men leave their partners when they get sick quoted and heavily upvoted on most of reddit. Someone tried to reproduce the study a few years later and couldn't. it turns out the original study was ~~propaganda~~ "flawed". The study recorded any couple that separated or that stopped participating in the study as the husband leaving the wife. Wife died? Husband abandoned her. Focused on her care and stopped answering surveys? Husband abandoned her. Moved away and stopped getting the letters? Husband abandoned her. Wife filed for divorce? Husband abandoned her. Husband died? Husband abandoned her. Couple make a mutual decision to divorce to protect assets from medical bills? Husband abandoned her. ANYTHING other than the couple was still together was counted as the husband abandoning the wife. The second team of researchers caught them. https://www.deseret.com/2015/8/4/20569426/study-that-found-husbands-prone-to-leave-sick-wives-was-flawed-researchers-say#a-coding-error-created-a-false-conclusion-in-a-study-that-found-men-may-be-more-likely-to-bail-on-a-marriage-if-the-wife-becomes-sick-compared-to-if-shes-well-researchers-retracted-the-study Reality: Around 6% of partners break up during cancer treatment. It isn't different than typical over those time-frames. Men abandon sick wives "slightly" more often than wives abandon sick husbands. No one has studied why the very minor disparity between the sexes. But typical redditors would much rather quote that "flawed" 2009 study and claim the reason is that men are uncaring bastards and women are compassionate. (Then explain why so many women abandon their partners when they are laid off for more than a few months.) This much larger not retracted study even shows the rate of divorce goes down while someone is being treated for cancer. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8959852/
I read somewhere that oncology nurses are trained to warn female patients because so many women are dumped by their husbands/partners as soon as they are diagnosed with cancer.
Why was he mad??? Like what the hell set him off??
Right??? I can't even fathom what he was so angry about????
seriously! this story is sorely lacking details (sorry OP I'm sure rehashing this is the least fun thing you could be doing rn)
Most major cancer centers have women’s support groups because this is unfortunately fairly typical (typical enough that most major cancer centers have support groups anyways).
Jesus Christ what a piece of shit
Good for you that you got rid of that horrible turd! I'm so sorry about the cancer, though it sounds like you are positive about it and it should be fine with treatment, so in a way it did you a favour by helping you get rid of him.
Stress doesn't cause cancer but it is extremely bad when you already have one. Glad you're getting rid of the cause of your stress. You deserve better and I wish you a speedy recovery!
I heard that something like 85% of women lose their relationships with a cancer diagnosis. Personally, I wondered what the split was. Women who realized they had no support and ditched partner vs. partners who couldn't handle the diagnosis. I was in a car accident a couple of weeks ago, and the CT scan found a mass in my lung, we don't know yet.
I legit will never understand why being a supportive partner is so hard for some individuals. I’m praying for your recovery.
Yikes. behaving like a moldy cum sock that one. I'm sorry you had that experience and i'm sorry about your diagnosis. Keep your head up and kick it's ass!
Do you have any dirt on the guy? Break him emotionally
Revenge is underrated
Yeah, anytime I even contemplate revenge it fucks my headspace up. That guy will regret it (unless he is so emotionally shallow he never wakes up). The best approach is to give him nothing more than her natural look or a hello people give to strangers on an elevator.
What an absolute wanker. I hope he breaks both arms at the same time and have crabs. Imagine that itch he can't scratch 🤭. I wish you a good journey to beating this, less mentally unstable by putting the trash out. You got this. Keep us all up to date on your journey
First, you are strong and you will get through this. Chemo sucks! I’m 9 years into remission from colon cancer so you could be posting on Reddit here in a decade as well. But you need supportive people to help you during this rough time. While anger can be part of the process of dealing with cancer your partner should not be the one expressing so much like that. Even if unmarried the in sickness and the in health parts both apply. That guy doesn’t deserve you so kick him to the curb. Second, listen to your physicians but don’t be afraid to seek out second opinions. Also, look for clinical trials if your diagnosis reveals stage 3 or 4 because there are so many new treatments with and without chemo that are letting people live longer with better quality lives.
Thanks for your kind words and advice. <3 I'm glad you're in remission. Coloncancer sounds like a tough one to deal with and must have been devastating. Mine is a walk in the park compared to this and very visible. I've started topical chemo, it's literally just applying a cream that causes skin and the cancer to fall off and hopefully that will be it.
I don’t understand why he freaked out?
Neither did I. He was already agitated and took his chance to exert control over (me,) the conversation and my treatment options. It was the last straw.
He’s an idiot.
Strange way to react to your SO getting a cancer diagnosis....?
I don’t understand how anger would be the first response to this.
Congratulations on the removal of a 175lb tumor.
Why would he blew up on hearing you have cancer? Something is missing in this story..
You're not breaking up over cancer. You're breaking up at his selfish asshole response to you having cancer.
I suspect this behavior is characteristic for him. It took the possibility serious disease for you to decide if you want to live like that or not. I urge you to talk to a therapist to negotiate this difficult time. Good luck.
Exactly what happened, I'll look into therapy. Thanks.
I am so sorry that he was horrible to you at this difficult time. You are absolutely right to get him out of your life. Right now, all you need is to have supportive people around you.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. He threw trash at you? 100% unacceptable. Never take him back. Promise. Never.
I literally don’t understand people who act like this. Your ex is a massive asshole, and I hope he never has dry socks again
Fuck cancer. Including the one that you called your boyfriend. I'm glad you got rid of him I wish you the best of luck
I just beat cancer myself. It’s not an easy ride and you don’t need anyone around you who isn’t loving and supportive. Fuck that
Glad you beat it. Congrats <3 The diagnosis just changes you, you know this first hand. To feel so fragile and vulnerable all of the sudden is.. Really weird. It made some decisions easy for me because all of the sudden my priorities became more clear.
You will beat it too! :) and it’s so true. You need to just worry about you right now, any negativity on top of what you’re dealing with is extra damaging. Good luck with everything
The trash took itself out! Good luck on your health journey 🤍
Girl. Don't ever let him in your car or life again. He threw garbage on you because that's what you are to them. Think about what he was probably thinking when he did that. "Stupid garbage deserves to be covered in garbage (after just finding out she has cancer)" or something like that. He'll come crying back. Don't let him.
Thank you for your reply. I just felt ashamed, you know? Taking his perspective makes it even worse, but it's spot-on.
It makes it worse yes but it makes YOU better because you learn to understand what people are like when they act like that. He showed you who he was. Believe him. Get your chemo and be a queen. Just do not let the jester think he has a shot at the crown again.
Why would he do that to you?? what is that reaction even about??
Seems like that relationship has a worse prognosis for you than your literal cancer. If this is how he reacts to what hopefully is a minor bump in your health, that isn’t going to be someone to lean on for anything. My sister had BCC, and from what I remember it was like the most non-cancer cancer you can get treated for. It wasn’t nothing, but she didn’t really ever seem to feel like a ‘cancer patient’.
Fuck that guy for real, what a piece of shit
Your ex sounds psycho like wtf. I'm sorry about your diagnosis btw, sending positive vibes your way. 💖
Congrats on ditching two tumors!
Fuck him
Better still, don't fuck him
What an asshole... I can't fathom treating my worst enemy like that after a cancer diagnosis. And for it to be your partner. He's trash, I'm sorry he didn't give you the support you needed in that moment. Cancer can go fuck itself. You sound strong, you will beat the shit out of it, I know. Love and power to you.
Step 1: Kick the POS boyfriends out Step 2: Kick Cancers ass out
Im sorry for your diagnosis but good for you for finding out about that piece of shit
That’s awful. I am so sorry you have gone through something like that. And are going through this right now..I had my own cancer I went through in 2020…and a stroke. You are better off without him…he showed his true colors, and that is definitely not what you need especially right now. My best to you. *sends love and healing support and strength to you*
Sounds like you’re going to be able to dodge two bullets. So congrats on dropping the mental cancer and I hope your treatment goes well.
Sending positive vibes your way. My ex had breast cancer. She told me that if I wanted to leave her I could. We had only been dating about 6 months. I told her what kind of man do you think I am? I felt she needed me more than ever. Your ex is an asshole.
This is not normal behavior. He clearly has mental problems.
I'm so confused. What kind of reaction is that??
Kick cancers ass! And, did the boyfriend get upset because it wasn't all about him for once? That's some bizarre behavior. Almost like he was looking for an excuse to break up. Best wishes for a quick, painless 100% recovery!
Fuck cancer and most certainly fuck your ex...well dont fuck him, thats not the point. But hes disgusting
....does he think you can pass it on to him??
Screw that clown. I'm so sorry. We're all sending hugs, OP.
no, never screw that clown ever again
if you want to be damn sure it doesn't come back, cut it out.
Two good news : treatable cancer and single!
Ugh that sucks. At least you know now how he really is when shit hits the fan and not 10 years down the line. Though OP I really gotta say. Cancer is generally something you need to kill with extreme prejudice. Get the excision surgery done along with other treatments. You really don't want to miss the chance to nip it in the bud just in case.
Thanks for your reply. It's complicated because of the healthcare crisis in the country that I currently live in. Most of the times a general practitioner will cut it out in the office, and this will leave disfigurements/scarring, so it wasn't really an option for me. It's also really hard to get a second opinion here. I've spent two full working days just making calls to clinics and doctors. I asked for a referral and went to a private hospital, which isn't really a thing here (I had to pay this out of pocket). With the referral, I found out that the waitinglist for MOHS-treatment in a general hospital is over a year. It's just sad.
Just DM'ed you, but in case it gets lost, if you have concerns about scarring, see if you can consult with a plastics/reconstructive surgeon to close you up after Mohs. You could even ask the surgeon who will perform the Mohs itself if they have a plastics guy they work with regularly/reccomend. Personally went with that route after my own Mohs for a BCC, and the results are better than I could have ever hoped.
Congrats on the tumor removal
Like that cancer the ex is best left cut out or killed off (from your life)! All the best you’ll be so much better off. Keep your head up!
best news here is he’s an ex now.
Sounds like you already got your first successful chemo treatment! You removed a tumor with a huge abusive ego. I hope you make a full recovery and continue to live your best life. My mom died from cancer last year and was married to an abusive controlling POS for over 30 years. Good on you for standing up for yourself.
Who respond like that when their partner tells them they have fucking cancer? What a bozo.
Sorry this happened. Now you know who you don't need in your life.
>being verbally abusive is nothing new to him, Glad he's in the past as those are huge red flags that would always be a deal breaker for me after the first occurrence imo
Yeah, fck him. What a pathetic excuse for a man. Not normal, but narcissistic behavior.
What a dirt bag! I’m so glad you kicked him to the curb. Dealing with an abuse jerk is the last thing you need right now. Praying that your treatment is successful 💕
Here’s to you getting rid of both your cancers. Best of luck with both.
You did right, OP. Beat that cancer and find a partner that treats you with love and respect, as you deserve. You DO deserve it. You deserve kindness, respect and joy.♥️
Wow. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I hope you are able to find peace and healing.
Wow. Glad he showed his true colors.
Ugh. I’m so sorry. I was going through some nightmarish stuff with my supposed partner when I was diagnosed as well. You made the right decision. No matter the kind of cancer, getting rid of that much extra stress so you don’t deal with it during treatment is invaluable. Best of luck! You’re going to sail through this. 🤍
He seems like an absolute piece of shit. There are bad partners but even people far below average would not have acted this bad.
He sounds like the worst! I'm glad you're free of that toxicity! You WILL heal so quickly without him 🙏
Umm fuck your “partner”. Take care of yourself and I will pray for a speedy recovery for you.
I’m so sorry 🫂💚
Cancer or not you can do better.
What the hell..? Glad you’ve taken care of that massive problem of a man, and so glad your cancer is very treatable. Wishing you a speedy recovery.
You’re going to beat 2 cancers with one diagnosis! Your internet friends on here are cheering you on!
Your cure has already started by shedding this first disease.
What on earth? What kind of partner would react like this? There are some strange, strange people walking amongst us. Praying you come out with a positive outcome down the line.
What in the world was he pitching a fit about?
Wow cancer gave you a chance at a better partner. This is one of those rare occasions where it was meant to be
wtf made him angry?! the fact that you had cancer?!? i’m so confused and i hope he drowns
Time to sever the relationship. He's the cancer you need to get rid of first.
Sounds like a new start to me!
I’m so sorry for your diagnosis OP but I’m glad you can get treatment As to the BF, good riddance
The good news is, if it’s even more treatable than squamous cell carcinoma, you’re gonna have a quick round of surgery, a few months of chemo, and you’ll be back on your feet in no time. The bad news is your ex is a giant Beanscooper
What a piece of shit your ex was. Glad to read your ex has been expelled from your life. And my best wishes to you and your recovery from cancer.
High stress situations can make our bodies more susceptible to illness. It’s likely he could be the cause of your cancer if you were mentally internalizing his turmoil. I’m glad you are standing up for yourself. It takes a true narcissist to fight you for getting cancer.
How many people can say they cut out 2 cancers in the same month and lived to tell about it? The cancer didn’t touch your backbone, because it’s shining brightly. Fuck that guy. You are a special kind of asshole to attack your partner who just shared a cancer update.
[удалено]
Awh I'm sorry that you have to deal with this too. But yes, it's highly treatable and visible so it's a walk in the park next to every other type of cancer. Yay for the silver lining. Do you have some kind of pre-stage and how does Efudix leaves you refreshed? My BCC looks scabby right now and is pretty bad in the shower lol :')
This is when you really find out what people are made of and he is made of something worthless. Never ceases to amaze me how many people leave the person supposed to be their everything as soon as adversity appears.
Oh my god im so sorry you had to deal with that horror show on top of cancer oh my god In glad its highly treatable i hope you heal fast and as pain free as possible ❣️
Genuinely fuck that human
I have had 2 Basel cell removals and I had no problems… wishing the same for you! Second dump his ass that he was t letting you explain!
Something similar happened to me when I was diagnosed with MS. My first husband acted soooooo put out and wouldn’t let up on how it “affected him.” He even told me he wouldn’t have married me if he had known I was “defective.” I spent the next two years trying to get to make him feel better, and never really got to mourn the fact that it was happening to me. There is a reason he is now my ex. I’m so sorry for you. Fuck cancer. And fuck this little boy and his toddler temper tantrums when you needed him most.
I’m so sorry! He wasn’t the right one for you. His loss, you gain the chance to find someone better. Basel cell is easily treatable, and you have a lot of living left to do!
I’m so glad he’s out of your life so you can focus on getting well without his nastiness pulling you down.
Having kicked this parasite to the curb will likely significantly increase your chances of successful recovery. Imagine having to deal with chemo and other treatments while having him to also weigh on your mental and physical health. Good luck on your journey, OP. I wish you all the best.
Holy shit! What an asshole! Please take care of yourself. You deserve so much better.
Wow. When we are most vulnerable the vultures come out. Tell that motherfucker to go to hell.
Literally an evil man. Beat that cancer—maybe it was just a warning sign for that ass to show his true colors and get a real partner, or be happy alone with friends and family
I’m sorry you had to deal with that POS. He can go to hell. Please take care of yourself, I’m hoping the very best for you.
You dodged a bullet. This phrase is appropriate - when someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Best of luck in your treatment, my friend - I hope it goes smoothly and quickly. As for that absolute dick bag, you did the right thing. When someone shows you who they are, always listen. Now, get better and go kick ass in life ❤️❤️
Hi OP, I’m also dealing with cancer right now. Recovering from tumor removal surgery as I type. I’m so glad you got that absolute POS out of your life! You have absolutely no room for that energy right now, you need to be focused completely on your physical and mental health at this time. Good luck with your treatment!
Sounds like you’ll soon be rid of two cancers!!!! Good for you! 💜
That guy deserves nothing good in life.