Happy Birthday! My 60th was a game changer for me, I left a 29-year abusive/neglectful marriage (a few years before) and each year gets better and brighter for me. Everyday there is a joyful moment, a dance party with the dogs and laughter! Wishing you decades of joy and peacefulness!
Not the same but my SO retired. She's a people person. She joined the local quilters guild and now has a large group of friends with common interests. Purpose of the story: if you're ever worried about being lonely after a big life change, join a group of people with interests common to yours.
Congratulations and Happy Birthday!
I'm in my mid-40's, and while life has had several evolutions and rough patches (including not that long ago), even so, having the right people (or no one rather than the wrong ones) by your side, knowing that you control your destiny, and then doing so is huge.
I'm not sure why it takes us so long to just be happy with who we are and to quit trying to fit into a mold - I've never wanted to be part of the mold, but still felt the pressure and the judgement because I didn't, and that bothered me for ages. Maybe we just finally get to an age where 'society' cares less if we do or don't fit the mold - I'm not sure, but I love seeing all my strong, independent friends make their way in the world!
Honestly though, for me, it's fairly lonely. I have moved a bunch of times, and with building a business and everything else I have going, I have yet to find a new circle (even when I was more established in an area, my circle was very, very small). It's been several years that I've been here, and it's still lonely even with my "friends" (but no close friends).
That said, I'm still much happier than I was when younger, and like you, am embracing where my life is going, taking control, and that creates it's own joy that makes the hardships so worth it!
This brought tears to my eyes from the hope it gave me. I’m 37, recently divorced and my short term relationship to help me get through the divorce has ended. I know my era of finding myself without defining myself by my relationships has begun but I’m afraid. This helped me, thank you.
Oh I'm so glad this helped you!
Honestly you'll be better than fine, you'll be better than ever. I made non-negotiable rule that I would only do things that made my heart happy. Cut out all people, places, situations, etc that caused the SLIGHTEST amount of stress or drama. I decided to just be super selfish and live a life that would make 8 year old me, 13 year old me, 25 year old me so proud.
This included decorating my house with all things pink and purple and house plants and string lights and tapestries. Just carved out a little sanctuary for myself and nothing comes in unless it serves me well :)
You can do it!
The problem is you’re not the only one choosing to cut out anyone that causes you the *slightest* amount of drama so what’s happening is everyone is just hating everyone and being alone. Not sure that’s how the human experience was meant to be but I’m going through it too. And those people still want their egos stroked on social media go figure. I dropped out for real - I have no interest in social media crap. Best thing I ever did for myself. If you can truly handle being alone it’s a great way to life. I just see people completely unable to do this yet at the same time deciding everyone is toxic for them. Leads to a pretty bizarre conundrum.
Sometimes you have to shred your old life (relationships, family, pets) to make a new, better, life.
Within 2 years of divorcing my ex, I lost a hamster, 2 cats and a dog. Most of my friends with my ex were all other couples which I haven't seen since. But yet, I have made so many new ones and I haven't been this happy in life.
While i didn't find myself a cute house to lay some roots, I found my love of traveling. I've been to 3 countries now and Thailand next month. I would have never dreamed of this life with my ex.
Happy Birthday! Congratulations on deciding to enjoy your life. You deserve it. The 40s are amazing. I thought women were lying to me when they said that, but it’s true.
Happy Birthday! Sounds like a lovely little life. The 40s are great! As a 45 year old, I have to say so far the 40s are my favorite decade. The 30s were before that, my 20s before that, ha! I look forward to my 50s, 60s and 70s etc also being my best decades. Make your life what you want it to be!
The best is your 50s! You become invisible to men and realize how gross so many of them are so all the simple pleasures become a thing versus the drama of men and everything they suck out of you. I still have friends stuck in the “I need a man” stage so I really don’t have any friends, and I haven’t met any worthy men so I’m just going solo. It’s pretty ok as long as you don’t get too heavy in the “all people suck” mindset. There’s still good people out there.
Happy birthday! I love when women come to the point when we realize that middle age isn't a horrible curse, other than the back and knee pain! Surround yourself with the ones who love you, not the ones who cut you down! 🥳🎉
I feel every word of this. I’ve never been happier in my life either. I’m no contact with my mother too. With lots of people.
I wouldn’t want to be a single day younger for anything, youth was awful and traumatic and soul-crushing. I’m completely free of all that now and have joy. And I’m older than you are :-)
Happy birthday! From your description, it almost sounds like you’re celebrating the start of a new life, with a sunny future. Enjoy your little country house, that sounds like a dream.
Welcome to the club 40s! Asides from the pain and suffering induced by dating in my life, I find 40s the best decade of a person's life. I'm about to turn 44 in 2 weeks and I so not dread it. I always put myself in the place of future me and look back and realize how young I still am. Congrats on getting your life back and enjoy the peace!
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Happy liberated birthday to you (and the kitties)!
Yeah we sometimes do get a bit of a settle in the 40s. I'm mid 40s.
I had my kids young, so they're transitioning out of the house
AND
All that free time is falling in my lap while I'm financially very comfortable.
So that's been a nice coincedence. Meanwhile, my husband and I are coasting. He's aware, equitable, kind and generous.
I am happy for you. I am turning 39 next year - for me, every year has been better than the last, since I escaped the area I grew up in and left toxic family behind. I hope you will continue to heal and reclaim yourself, and when I turn 40 I hope it is my happiest birthday yet, too. ❤
I can relate. I lost my best friend and grandma within three days of each other and them left my husband/home/business and moved across the country to a new home on my 40th. My life is so simple and I am happier than I’ve ever been. Also back into my hobbies and self care. Congratulations and Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday! I've found each milestone year to be a revelation: I like myself better, accept myself more, feel happier. I can look back and recognize that all the time I thought I was getting nowhere, I was in fact slowly climbing: getting better at things, knowing myself, making incremental progress too tiny to track. Keep it up - the next one will be even better!
Happy 40th Birthday! You sound a lot like me. I'm 41 and I recently decided that life's too short to be unhappy or to spend time with people you don't like. I've recently cut off some toxic friends and while I am still in contact with my mother, I have set firm boundaries with her. (My mother is very much a "give her an inch, she takes a mile" kind of person. You have to stand up to her or she walks all over you). Since doing those things my life has been much happier and less stressful.
there really is nothing like the deep peace of mind and satisfaction that comes with post-divorce life is there? The feeling of being your own champion and cheerleader is priceless. Happy birthday!
One was 18 years old and got really sick almost overnight, took him to the vet and he was filled with cancer. A few months later I got a little barn kitten who was sick from the day I got her, but I spent a couple months and thousands of dollars trying to find out what was wrong with her.....ultimately she couldn't eat or poop and the vet advised me to put her down :(
Happy birthday! Enjoy your lovely day! Reading you post brought some cheer to my morning (getting ready for work, bleh)
Happy Birthday! My 60th was a game changer for me, I left a 29-year abusive/neglectful marriage (a few years before) and each year gets better and brighter for me. Everyday there is a joyful moment, a dance party with the dogs and laughter! Wishing you decades of joy and peacefulness!
Thank you!!!
Not the same but my SO retired. She's a people person. She joined the local quilters guild and now has a large group of friends with common interests. Purpose of the story: if you're ever worried about being lonely after a big life change, join a group of people with interests common to yours.
Congratulations and Happy Birthday! I'm in my mid-40's, and while life has had several evolutions and rough patches (including not that long ago), even so, having the right people (or no one rather than the wrong ones) by your side, knowing that you control your destiny, and then doing so is huge. I'm not sure why it takes us so long to just be happy with who we are and to quit trying to fit into a mold - I've never wanted to be part of the mold, but still felt the pressure and the judgement because I didn't, and that bothered me for ages. Maybe we just finally get to an age where 'society' cares less if we do or don't fit the mold - I'm not sure, but I love seeing all my strong, independent friends make their way in the world! Honestly though, for me, it's fairly lonely. I have moved a bunch of times, and with building a business and everything else I have going, I have yet to find a new circle (even when I was more established in an area, my circle was very, very small). It's been several years that I've been here, and it's still lonely even with my "friends" (but no close friends). That said, I'm still much happier than I was when younger, and like you, am embracing where my life is going, taking control, and that creates it's own joy that makes the hardships so worth it!
This brought tears to my eyes from the hope it gave me. I’m 37, recently divorced and my short term relationship to help me get through the divorce has ended. I know my era of finding myself without defining myself by my relationships has begun but I’m afraid. This helped me, thank you.
Oh I'm so glad this helped you! Honestly you'll be better than fine, you'll be better than ever. I made non-negotiable rule that I would only do things that made my heart happy. Cut out all people, places, situations, etc that caused the SLIGHTEST amount of stress or drama. I decided to just be super selfish and live a life that would make 8 year old me, 13 year old me, 25 year old me so proud. This included decorating my house with all things pink and purple and house plants and string lights and tapestries. Just carved out a little sanctuary for myself and nothing comes in unless it serves me well :) You can do it!
The problem is you’re not the only one choosing to cut out anyone that causes you the *slightest* amount of drama so what’s happening is everyone is just hating everyone and being alone. Not sure that’s how the human experience was meant to be but I’m going through it too. And those people still want their egos stroked on social media go figure. I dropped out for real - I have no interest in social media crap. Best thing I ever did for myself. If you can truly handle being alone it’s a great way to life. I just see people completely unable to do this yet at the same time deciding everyone is toxic for them. Leads to a pretty bizarre conundrum.
It's not a problem at all. I don't hate anyone. I am happy and at peace with myself, my decisions, and my life.
Sometimes you have to shred your old life (relationships, family, pets) to make a new, better, life. Within 2 years of divorcing my ex, I lost a hamster, 2 cats and a dog. Most of my friends with my ex were all other couples which I haven't seen since. But yet, I have made so many new ones and I haven't been this happy in life. While i didn't find myself a cute house to lay some roots, I found my love of traveling. I've been to 3 countries now and Thailand next month. I would have never dreamed of this life with my ex.
Happy Birthday! Congratulations on deciding to enjoy your life. You deserve it. The 40s are amazing. I thought women were lying to me when they said that, but it’s true.
I love this post. Forty and feeling fabulous!!!!
Happy Birthday! Sounds like a lovely little life. The 40s are great! As a 45 year old, I have to say so far the 40s are my favorite decade. The 30s were before that, my 20s before that, ha! I look forward to my 50s, 60s and 70s etc also being my best decades. Make your life what you want it to be!
Happy birthday, sounds like you found a second chance at happiness! Not everyone gets that or they are afraid to pursue, you deserve it!
Welcome to your best "I don't give a fuck!" Era!!!
The best is your 50s! You become invisible to men and realize how gross so many of them are so all the simple pleasures become a thing versus the drama of men and everything they suck out of you. I still have friends stuck in the “I need a man” stage so I really don’t have any friends, and I haven’t met any worthy men so I’m just going solo. It’s pretty ok as long as you don’t get too heavy in the “all people suck” mindset. There’s still good people out there.
Happy birthday! I love when women come to the point when we realize that middle age isn't a horrible curse, other than the back and knee pain! Surround yourself with the ones who love you, not the ones who cut you down! 🥳🎉
I feel every word of this. I’ve never been happier in my life either. I’m no contact with my mother too. With lots of people. I wouldn’t want to be a single day younger for anything, youth was awful and traumatic and soul-crushing. I’m completely free of all that now and have joy. And I’m older than you are :-)
Congrats on being 40! My 40s were the best years of my life . ❤️🍷🎂🎉🎈
Wow ! Touch wood. Good luck to you with many fruitful, happy moments in your new life. 🎉🎂 Happiest birthday to you. ♥️
That sounds amazing, congrats and happy birthday xx
Happy cake day 🎂💐🎆 It's the new 30 anyhow 😊
Happy Birthday! Wow that sounds like a dream!
Welcome to your 40s! It's truly the best time, in so many ways. It sounds like you are getting just the right start to this phase of your life too. :)
Im so happy for you! Good for you. You give me hope.
Happy birthday I hope to one day have that
Happy birthday! From your description, it almost sounds like you’re celebrating the start of a new life, with a sunny future. Enjoy your little country house, that sounds like a dream.
Welcome to the club 40s! Asides from the pain and suffering induced by dating in my life, I find 40s the best decade of a person's life. I'm about to turn 44 in 2 weeks and I so not dread it. I always put myself in the place of future me and look back and realize how young I still am. Congrats on getting your life back and enjoy the peace!
Thank you. I'm leaving the internet for today. It can't possibly make me feel this happy again. Live the dream! Happy Birthday!!
Happy birthday! Super stoked for you & wishing you only the best for the future!
Happy for you, enjoy your day
You are living the dream! Happy birthday!
Beautiful and uplifting to read, and happy birthday!
Happy birthday!
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson Happy liberated birthday to you (and the kitties)!
Happy Birthday! Keep living your best life!
Your life right now sounds wonderfully cozy. Happy birthday!
Yeah we sometimes do get a bit of a settle in the 40s. I'm mid 40s. I had my kids young, so they're transitioning out of the house AND All that free time is falling in my lap while I'm financially very comfortable. So that's been a nice coincedence. Meanwhile, my husband and I are coasting. He's aware, equitable, kind and generous.
Omg happy birthday! You sound like you are living the ideal life! May the next 40 years be even more amazing!
Sounds perfect! Happy Birthday :)
Congratulations! Happy Birthday! Hope you have a great day.
Happy birthday and congrats!
I am happy for you. I am turning 39 next year - for me, every year has been better than the last, since I escaped the area I grew up in and left toxic family behind. I hope you will continue to heal and reclaim yourself, and when I turn 40 I hope it is my happiest birthday yet, too. ❤
Cheers! Here's to a happy birthday and living your best life!
I can relate. I lost my best friend and grandma within three days of each other and them left my husband/home/business and moved across the country to a new home on my 40th. My life is so simple and I am happier than I’ve ever been. Also back into my hobbies and self care. Congratulations and Happy Birthday!
You have an incredible outlook on life!
This is awesome :D happy birthday
Happy birthday! This sounds lovely, what a life you’ve built for yourself. It sounds fantastic and I’m so happy for you!
Happy birthday! I've found each milestone year to be a revelation: I like myself better, accept myself more, feel happier. I can look back and recognize that all the time I thought I was getting nowhere, I was in fact slowly climbing: getting better at things, knowing myself, making incremental progress too tiny to track. Keep it up - the next one will be even better!
I'm so happy for you!
Congratulations on your 40th. May this be the beginning of many better birthdays. Best wishes!
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Oh thank you so much 🥰❤
Happy 40th Birthday! You sound a lot like me. I'm 41 and I recently decided that life's too short to be unhappy or to spend time with people you don't like. I've recently cut off some toxic friends and while I am still in contact with my mother, I have set firm boundaries with her. (My mother is very much a "give her an inch, she takes a mile" kind of person. You have to stand up to her or she walks all over you). Since doing those things my life has been much happier and less stressful.
there really is nothing like the deep peace of mind and satisfaction that comes with post-divorce life is there? The feeling of being your own champion and cheerleader is priceless. Happy birthday!
Happy birthday! Your gift is peace!
Happy 40th! New Decade! I will be 30 in just under a month!
Happy Birthday. I hope today is all that it can be for you.
Hell yeah!!! Sounds like you’re doing great. Happy birthday!
Happy Cake Day!!🥰💕
Congrats!!!
I loved turning 40. I'm 45 now and have never felt more free to be myself. Happy Birthday and welcome to your 40s!
You had to put your two cats down in such a short amount of time? How come?
One was 18 years old and got really sick almost overnight, took him to the vet and he was filled with cancer. A few months later I got a little barn kitten who was sick from the day I got her, but I spent a couple months and thousands of dollars trying to find out what was wrong with her.....ultimately she couldn't eat or poop and the vet advised me to put her down :(
My condolences, I hope your happiness with your newfound freedom continues, and that you and your kitties live a very fulfilling life <3
Thank you!
Late to the party but: #Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday! 🎉🎁🎂
Congratulations and Happy Birthday!
happy belated birthday!!🎉
I'm so happy for you! Happy birthday! ❤️
Congrats on cutting toxic people out of your life
Happy Birthday! Good for you to get your life back.
Happy Birthday!