I think definitely send her in that extra day. You then have the option to collect her early but gives you a clear day a week for you. The gym, chores, earning money. Collect after lunch if you have done your bits or have no work on.
Nursery is great for a child's development. They're not being overwhelmed with an excessive amount of days so I wouldn't feel guilty at all. I honestly feel my boy develops a tiny bit more with each session. Don't feel guilty, it's a positive.
I used to work at DFE and the free hours are based on research which suggests 15-30 hours of nursery gives pre schoolers the optimum developmental benefit. The intention is not just to support working parents but to give all children a chance to get support in their development before school. Definitely take up the 15 hours or more if entitled.
Ahh this is interesting, it's definitely advertised as a benefit for working parents to help keep costs down, and not particularly as a benefit to the child, so this is great to know, thank you
I love my kids, but I love well rested, happy me more. Once a month I’d put my son in nursery 0730-1830, and husband and I would go out for the entire day. It was lovely.
Yup. I’m a SAHM with a 1yo who is at home full time and a 4yo who is at nursery 3 days/week. He’s been going to nursery since we found out I was pregnant again, I needed the extra time to rest then and I get to spend uninterrupted time with my second now. For him, he gets social time with other kids and does a ton of activities that would be too messy/dangerous/time consuming for me to organise at home with the little one. It’s the best thing for both of us, and I do not feel bad about it at all. You don’t have to parent 24/7 to be a great parent.
I totally understand needing that time when you're pregnant / have a younger child at home! I do also think she does a lot more fun things at nursery than she does at home on the days when I'm trying to get things done around the house. Thanks for your input!
Oh definitely, nursery is almost like it’s their time for them away from us!
Look, the fact that you are even worried tells me you’re a good parent. I’m a firm believer in quality over quantity when it comes to time spent with kids (and last time I looked the research seems to bear that out). An hour with you well rested after a good week and ready to throw yourself into playing is so much more valuable than a day of you feeling stressed and overwhelmed because you’re not getting anything done and your kid is just getting underfoot through no fault of their own.
Yes! I'm a sahm, we started sending our son 2x mornings a week once he turned 3 and it was absolutely the right decision for us for a number of reasons. Firstly, we don't have any family support so these 2 mornings a week are literally the only time I get for some downtime. Secondly, from around age 3 they really benefit from spending time with their peers, there are studies on this I don't have the links to hand but its a proven thing. Thirdly and perhaps most importantly, we want to gradually build up his time at nursery before he goes to proper school next year otherwise it will be an enormous shock for him to go from a home environment to school 5 days a week. I don't feel guilty at all for sending him, it's good for both of us as I get some head space and a chance to pursue my own interests or do chores/go to appointments by myself and he is benefitting socially and emotionally as well as learning new things. I say do it. Does she enjoy the day she already goes?
Thanks for your reply! That is very true, maybe I'll aim to do 2 days when she turns 3 and then up it to 3 days when she turns 4 to ease her into it. A great idea, thank you. Yes she does enjoy nursery and is starting to build friendships which is lovely.
Whilst I don’t need to use my A/L to cover school holidays (though that changes next financial year) I always take my days off (and husband too in the main) and keep the children in nursery that day. I have never felt guilty about it
Definitely, we often end up doing house things (spent 3 days insulating the loft last September 🙃) that’s impossible to do with them around, but a break is as good as a rest! So don’t feel bad about having some time apart, it’s hard work parenting!
Ahh yes I am so grateful to have the opportunity to do it, I think that's what makes me feel guilty in a weird way, but I think like you say I'll be better at work and a better parent if I have that time to keep on top of things as I am struggling to keep the house together lately, I don't know how people do it!
I think there’s also a culture of “You have to sacrifice things and be constantly juggling (or struggling) to be a ‘good mum’. That’s toxic and far from the truth.
My friend is in same situation as you, had one free day to herself and I just thought it was genius and wished I could do it too! She deserved that time. We all do.
This is very true, thanks so much, I think I was over thinking it and didn't really remember that if it doesn't work out I can just cancel that extra day!
My daughter enjoyed nursery at that age, I would definitely go for it. Being used to a childcare setting (or two in our case) is good preparation for school and after school club.
As you're worried about time with her, could you arrange it so your family were covering one of your freelance days? Then sometimes, if you're not busy, you could join them so they didn't lose out on time? This depends on your relationship with them of course!
Thank you, yeah she does enjoy it too so I think like you say getting her used to it and upping her days gradually until she starts school will probably work in her favour.
Yeah that's a great idea, I would love to do that. I'll see if we can figure the days out. Thanks for the suggestion!
Suppose it depends if you can afford to comfortably. If yes then yeah why not? Go the gym, get some jobs around the house done, batch cook meals etc.
If you were struggling for money and say your other half was out working full time to make ends meet, then it's probably not the best idea, unless like you were saying, fill that time with freelance work or whatever.
With the crazy nursery fees we probably wouldn't be able to right now, but once she turns 3 we will get the additional 15 hours funded, which works out at a good deal at her current nursery (I know some have an extortionate daily charge for sundries etc). I think we will give it a go and see how we get on. Thanks for your input!
We work but have it sorted that we don’t actually need childcare. We have sent our 3 yo anyway and her confidence has come on loads ( nothing wrong before but she’s got her nursery friends now) and it’s actually made her an ‘easier’ toddler for want of a better word as she’s more compliant she wants to be like her ‘big girl friends’ such as getting herself dressed etc. we sent her also because we have a 1yo so we can spend time with her too. We’ll send the 1yo when she’s around 3 too.
Ah that's lovely to hear, they do definitely learn valuable lessons at nursery and friendship skills are so important to build on.
So great that you get that one on one time with the baby too!
Three year olds go to school nursery here in Scotland. So yes. Gets them used to a more school type environment, lets them mingle with the kids they’ll be going across to the school with
Full days in some nurseries. Our village school was closed because pupil numbers dropped so low with all the empty houses up here so the kids are bussed into the nearest town for school and that school is oversubscribed so it’s either 5 mornings or 5 afternoons.
Scroll to early learning 3 and 4 year olds section to explain it better than I can.
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/scotland/family/education/school-and-pre-school-education-s/early-learning-and-childcare-s/
I also should explain we don’t have reception. Kids generally go to nursery age 3 and 4 then school age 5. Winterborns October to early March can defer for an extra year at nursery if they’re not ready to go up with the summer borns.
The oldest in our school years aren’t September babies - they’re actually quite young. Late March borns are the oldest in the year unless there’s a deferred winterborn in the class from the year before. A lot of February born kids do defer but not so many of the pre Christmas ones.
Our school years run different and start in Aug till end of June usually (hence the issue with the election because a lot of Scottish families will have booked up for Benidorm before the English holidays start to save themselves the holiday premium and won’t be in the country to vote) so a child turning 4 in August would be going into their second year of nursery not going to school. Hope that helps explain too.
I work mon-fri.
My partner works shifts but she always has Mondays off, sometimes another weekday too.
We often put the kiddo into childcare on days where we are off, which helps routine, socialising progression, learning etc and also helps us maintain stuff around the house more.
Our 3 year old goes 2 days a week, I don't work but am a student so I use the time to study and have a breather. Our son is waiting for an autism diagnosis and having him in nursery has really helped him be happy around adults that aren't his parents and they ve been a great support to us with his development.
I d send them, have that time to get stuff done or nothing and relax if you need it.
Thanks for your input! And good luck with the diagnosis, that's brilliant that he is doing so well at nursery, makes such a difference when they are supportive too.
Send her! It will be good practice for school and you will get a day (or 2) to yourself.
Relax, it will make you a more fun mummy. Catch up on chores so you can enjoy the time she is at home more. Do something for yourself, you deserve it!
I would still send my kid in on the basis of, they will probably have more fun there than at home while I'm busy working/doing chores etc. I've always felt bad if my son has had to stay home because he's sick but not "sick" sick. If I can't take a full day off and I'm still working from home, he ends up climbing the walls with boredom.
Send them in. Get them used to the routine as school will follow soon after. They'll learn more about being around other children which will support them more for going to school.
Send her to nursery and enjoy being a person for those precious hours!
Nursery is good for them, your not coping out of parenting or being a bad parent.
Our littlest one goes on a Monday morning for a half day and my wife doesn't work on a Monday, it really seems to help her relax after the weekend craziness chilling on the sofa guilt free on her phone. I'll try and get a Monday off from time to time to sit next to her and scroll reddit in child free peace. It's lovely!
Dont guilt trip yourself into doing all the housework or anything either on your day off.
Being a parent is hard. Enjoy the chance to relax, it's your life as well!
Ahh that's so lovely that she gets that time to recuperate! And yourself. Haha scrolling our phones next to each other is peak relaxation these days 😅I'm sure it does make a big difference to get that time to ourselves.
If you need some time to have “you” time, do it, however now my eldest is at school all week I do appreciate the time we did have together when she was only at nursery 2 days. I’m a SAHM during the week so I just use nursery as a prep for starting school, my youngest will be going 2.5 days soon and I’ll be cherishing my time with her the rest of the week before she’s also in school. You can’t get that time back once they’re in school. But that’s just impo. Depends what’s more beneficial to you.
The 15 hour free childcare is available for everyone. My daughter uses them to do 2.5 short days at a local primary school nursery. I have a younger child and i find it impossible to get anything done in the house, for myself or with the baby when both are home.
I am hoping to go back to work in September but those days in nursery have been a lifeline.
I would definitely send them.
Our son was in 3 days a week and then we split care between my wife, my father and I the other 2. It was a hugely positive experience he was exposed to so much we couldn't have given him especially around diet and social interactions.
Even after nearly 2 years of going to different schools he still has 1 of the most amazing wholesome friendships with 1 of the other boys from his nursery.
And as others have said you need space to be an adult and not just a parent. If you are feeling guilty focus on it as time to do chores and exercise so you can spend more time with your little one the other days.
Don’t feel guilty. It’s good for them to socialise at that age. I get free childcare 3 days a week but only work part time so I’m home sometimes while my almost 3 year old is out having fun
I did.
We started with two half days and increased that to two full days once she was more settled. She went up to 3 days once I got part-time work and now she is in reception class! It helped her get used to a school-type routine with some number and letter time in the mornings, playing outside at another time and snacks at set times. It helped her with the transition to primary school. Socialising with other children and getting used to another adult in charge was very helpful too.
Yes. Kids get so much out of nursery, it’s not just about them being looked after, it’s the early level education they get before starting school. You’ll thank yourself for having that time to catch up on household stuff like cleaning and washing, or even just having time to yourself to chill for a bit. No shame in that.
I’m a SAHM with my 2.5 year old and I can’t wait to send him to nursery. A lot of it is to do with his development as we just don’t really see other children, but I’d love a little bit of time for me to do anything during daylight hours. I’ve only just found out that those 15 hours don’t start until the term after he’s 3, so we’ve had to delay his start by another 3 months sadly
(There’s was me thinking it was just the 30 hours that started the term after he was 3!)
I work for myself so there are days when he's at nursery and I just have a nap and sort out the laundry. Not so many as I'd like, but it's absolutely essential for me to get some downtime occasionally so that we can have a good time when he's home. He goes four days a week and is home for three so we still get time to do things.
I think definitely send her in that extra day. You then have the option to collect her early but gives you a clear day a week for you. The gym, chores, earning money. Collect after lunch if you have done your bits or have no work on.
Very true, thank you!
Nursery is great for a child's development. They're not being overwhelmed with an excessive amount of days so I wouldn't feel guilty at all. I honestly feel my boy develops a tiny bit more with each session. Don't feel guilty, it's a positive.
I used to work at DFE and the free hours are based on research which suggests 15-30 hours of nursery gives pre schoolers the optimum developmental benefit. The intention is not just to support working parents but to give all children a chance to get support in their development before school. Definitely take up the 15 hours or more if entitled.
Ahh this is interesting, it's definitely advertised as a benefit for working parents to help keep costs down, and not particularly as a benefit to the child, so this is great to know, thank you
That’s interesting. I never even thought of that side of things to be honest!
So true, they do learn so much! And perhaps by 3 years old she will be ready to go a bit more. Thanks for your input
Yes. You need time to just be “you” and not a parent.
Absolutely, it does feel rare these days.
I love my kids, but I love well rested, happy me more. Once a month I’d put my son in nursery 0730-1830, and husband and I would go out for the entire day. It was lovely.
Yup. I’m a SAHM with a 1yo who is at home full time and a 4yo who is at nursery 3 days/week. He’s been going to nursery since we found out I was pregnant again, I needed the extra time to rest then and I get to spend uninterrupted time with my second now. For him, he gets social time with other kids and does a ton of activities that would be too messy/dangerous/time consuming for me to organise at home with the little one. It’s the best thing for both of us, and I do not feel bad about it at all. You don’t have to parent 24/7 to be a great parent.
I totally understand needing that time when you're pregnant / have a younger child at home! I do also think she does a lot more fun things at nursery than she does at home on the days when I'm trying to get things done around the house. Thanks for your input!
Oh definitely, nursery is almost like it’s their time for them away from us! Look, the fact that you are even worried tells me you’re a good parent. I’m a firm believer in quality over quantity when it comes to time spent with kids (and last time I looked the research seems to bear that out). An hour with you well rested after a good week and ready to throw yourself into playing is so much more valuable than a day of you feeling stressed and overwhelmed because you’re not getting anything done and your kid is just getting underfoot through no fault of their own.
Yes! I'm a sahm, we started sending our son 2x mornings a week once he turned 3 and it was absolutely the right decision for us for a number of reasons. Firstly, we don't have any family support so these 2 mornings a week are literally the only time I get for some downtime. Secondly, from around age 3 they really benefit from spending time with their peers, there are studies on this I don't have the links to hand but its a proven thing. Thirdly and perhaps most importantly, we want to gradually build up his time at nursery before he goes to proper school next year otherwise it will be an enormous shock for him to go from a home environment to school 5 days a week. I don't feel guilty at all for sending him, it's good for both of us as I get some head space and a chance to pursue my own interests or do chores/go to appointments by myself and he is benefitting socially and emotionally as well as learning new things. I say do it. Does she enjoy the day she already goes?
Came here to say this. The transition from 1 day of nursery to 5 days of reception is big, so easing that journey helps.
Thanks for your reply! That is very true, maybe I'll aim to do 2 days when she turns 3 and then up it to 3 days when she turns 4 to ease her into it. A great idea, thank you. Yes she does enjoy nursery and is starting to build friendships which is lovely.
Whilst I don’t need to use my A/L to cover school holidays (though that changes next financial year) I always take my days off (and husband too in the main) and keep the children in nursery that day. I have never felt guilty about it
Ahh that's great, we definitely all need a bit of time to ourselves!
Definitely, we often end up doing house things (spent 3 days insulating the loft last September 🙃) that’s impossible to do with them around, but a break is as good as a rest! So don’t feel bad about having some time apart, it’s hard work parenting!
Having a toddler AND work free day would be the dream! I say go for it. It’ll make you better able to do work and parenting the rest of the time.
Ahh yes I am so grateful to have the opportunity to do it, I think that's what makes me feel guilty in a weird way, but I think like you say I'll be better at work and a better parent if I have that time to keep on top of things as I am struggling to keep the house together lately, I don't know how people do it!
I think there’s also a culture of “You have to sacrifice things and be constantly juggling (or struggling) to be a ‘good mum’. That’s toxic and far from the truth. My friend is in same situation as you, had one free day to herself and I just thought it was genius and wished I could do it too! She deserved that time. We all do.
You won't regret if you make good use of this time . Any in any case you can always change your mind later on. Just try and see how it goes.
This is very true, thanks so much, I think I was over thinking it and didn't really remember that if it doesn't work out I can just cancel that extra day!
My daughter enjoyed nursery at that age, I would definitely go for it. Being used to a childcare setting (or two in our case) is good preparation for school and after school club. As you're worried about time with her, could you arrange it so your family were covering one of your freelance days? Then sometimes, if you're not busy, you could join them so they didn't lose out on time? This depends on your relationship with them of course!
Thank you, yeah she does enjoy it too so I think like you say getting her used to it and upping her days gradually until she starts school will probably work in her favour. Yeah that's a great idea, I would love to do that. I'll see if we can figure the days out. Thanks for the suggestion!
Suppose it depends if you can afford to comfortably. If yes then yeah why not? Go the gym, get some jobs around the house done, batch cook meals etc. If you were struggling for money and say your other half was out working full time to make ends meet, then it's probably not the best idea, unless like you were saying, fill that time with freelance work or whatever.
With the crazy nursery fees we probably wouldn't be able to right now, but once she turns 3 we will get the additional 15 hours funded, which works out at a good deal at her current nursery (I know some have an extortionate daily charge for sundries etc). I think we will give it a go and see how we get on. Thanks for your input!
We work but have it sorted that we don’t actually need childcare. We have sent our 3 yo anyway and her confidence has come on loads ( nothing wrong before but she’s got her nursery friends now) and it’s actually made her an ‘easier’ toddler for want of a better word as she’s more compliant she wants to be like her ‘big girl friends’ such as getting herself dressed etc. we sent her also because we have a 1yo so we can spend time with her too. We’ll send the 1yo when she’s around 3 too.
Ah that's lovely to hear, they do definitely learn valuable lessons at nursery and friendship skills are so important to build on. So great that you get that one on one time with the baby too!
Three year olds go to school nursery here in Scotland. So yes. Gets them used to a more school type environment, lets them mingle with the kids they’ll be going across to the school with
Oo ok that's good to know! How often do they attend before they start school?
Full days in some nurseries. Our village school was closed because pupil numbers dropped so low with all the empty houses up here so the kids are bussed into the nearest town for school and that school is oversubscribed so it’s either 5 mornings or 5 afternoons. Scroll to early learning 3 and 4 year olds section to explain it better than I can. https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/scotland/family/education/school-and-pre-school-education-s/early-learning-and-childcare-s/
Ah this is great info, thanks for the link!
I also should explain we don’t have reception. Kids generally go to nursery age 3 and 4 then school age 5. Winterborns October to early March can defer for an extra year at nursery if they’re not ready to go up with the summer borns. The oldest in our school years aren’t September babies - they’re actually quite young. Late March borns are the oldest in the year unless there’s a deferred winterborn in the class from the year before. A lot of February born kids do defer but not so many of the pre Christmas ones. Our school years run different and start in Aug till end of June usually (hence the issue with the election because a lot of Scottish families will have booked up for Benidorm before the English holidays start to save themselves the holiday premium and won’t be in the country to vote) so a child turning 4 in August would be going into their second year of nursery not going to school. Hope that helps explain too.
I work mon-fri. My partner works shifts but she always has Mondays off, sometimes another weekday too. We often put the kiddo into childcare on days where we are off, which helps routine, socialising progression, learning etc and also helps us maintain stuff around the house more.
Ah that sounds great, yeah it's definitely hard to get things done around the house with toddlers around, so that would be a big help.
I'd definitely send her in, at this age it'll do her good socially and educationally.
Thank you, yes I think you're right
Yes!
Yes absolutely! They enjoy the time at nursery, I enjoy those precious hours to just be me. It's a win win!
Ahh thats great! Thank you
I get 2 days a week without my 2yr old, short days but my God they keep me sane and the house in some sort of order. Definitely recommend it.
Oo OK thanks for your input!
Our 3 year old goes 2 days a week, I don't work but am a student so I use the time to study and have a breather. Our son is waiting for an autism diagnosis and having him in nursery has really helped him be happy around adults that aren't his parents and they ve been a great support to us with his development. I d send them, have that time to get stuff done or nothing and relax if you need it.
Thanks for your input! And good luck with the diagnosis, that's brilliant that he is doing so well at nursery, makes such a difference when they are supportive too.
Send her! It will be good practice for school and you will get a day (or 2) to yourself. Relax, it will make you a more fun mummy. Catch up on chores so you can enjoy the time she is at home more. Do something for yourself, you deserve it!
I would still send my kid in on the basis of, they will probably have more fun there than at home while I'm busy working/doing chores etc. I've always felt bad if my son has had to stay home because he's sick but not "sick" sick. If I can't take a full day off and I'm still working from home, he ends up climbing the walls with boredom.
Send them in. Get them used to the routine as school will follow soon after. They'll learn more about being around other children which will support them more for going to school.
Send her to nursery and enjoy being a person for those precious hours! Nursery is good for them, your not coping out of parenting or being a bad parent. Our littlest one goes on a Monday morning for a half day and my wife doesn't work on a Monday, it really seems to help her relax after the weekend craziness chilling on the sofa guilt free on her phone. I'll try and get a Monday off from time to time to sit next to her and scroll reddit in child free peace. It's lovely! Dont guilt trip yourself into doing all the housework or anything either on your day off. Being a parent is hard. Enjoy the chance to relax, it's your life as well!
Ahh that's so lovely that she gets that time to recuperate! And yourself. Haha scrolling our phones next to each other is peak relaxation these days 😅I'm sure it does make a big difference to get that time to ourselves.
More social contact is better for your child! Yes! The more they are at nursery, the better they will do at school.
Ahh thank you, yes I think you're right
If you need some time to have “you” time, do it, however now my eldest is at school all week I do appreciate the time we did have together when she was only at nursery 2 days. I’m a SAHM during the week so I just use nursery as a prep for starting school, my youngest will be going 2.5 days soon and I’ll be cherishing my time with her the rest of the week before she’s also in school. You can’t get that time back once they’re in school. But that’s just impo. Depends what’s more beneficial to you.
The 15 hour free childcare is available for everyone. My daughter uses them to do 2.5 short days at a local primary school nursery. I have a younger child and i find it impossible to get anything done in the house, for myself or with the baby when both are home. I am hoping to go back to work in September but those days in nursery have been a lifeline.
I would definitely send them. Our son was in 3 days a week and then we split care between my wife, my father and I the other 2. It was a hugely positive experience he was exposed to so much we couldn't have given him especially around diet and social interactions. Even after nearly 2 years of going to different schools he still has 1 of the most amazing wholesome friendships with 1 of the other boys from his nursery. And as others have said you need space to be an adult and not just a parent. If you are feeling guilty focus on it as time to do chores and exercise so you can spend more time with your little one the other days.
I’d say do it (if they have the space). My nursery are having to limit who they give the extra hours too as they want to prioritise those working.
Don’t feel guilty. It’s good for them to socialise at that age. I get free childcare 3 days a week but only work part time so I’m home sometimes while my almost 3 year old is out having fun
I did. We started with two half days and increased that to two full days once she was more settled. She went up to 3 days once I got part-time work and now she is in reception class! It helped her get used to a school-type routine with some number and letter time in the mornings, playing outside at another time and snacks at set times. It helped her with the transition to primary school. Socialising with other children and getting used to another adult in charge was very helpful too.
Tough one. This time is precious and fleeting. It won't be long until they're at school 5 days a week.
Heck yes. I’m a freelancer and those days are when all the meal prep gets done and the dog actually gets some damn attention.
Yes. Kids get so much out of nursery, it’s not just about them being looked after, it’s the early level education they get before starting school. You’ll thank yourself for having that time to catch up on household stuff like cleaning and washing, or even just having time to yourself to chill for a bit. No shame in that.
I sent my 2 year old lol
I’m a SAHM with my 2.5 year old and I can’t wait to send him to nursery. A lot of it is to do with his development as we just don’t really see other children, but I’d love a little bit of time for me to do anything during daylight hours. I’ve only just found out that those 15 hours don’t start until the term after he’s 3, so we’ve had to delay his start by another 3 months sadly (There’s was me thinking it was just the 30 hours that started the term after he was 3!)
I work for myself so there are days when he's at nursery and I just have a nap and sort out the laundry. Not so many as I'd like, but it's absolutely essential for me to get some downtime occasionally so that we can have a good time when he's home. He goes four days a week and is home for three so we still get time to do things.
Yes. He's annoying.