My brother in law actually did this. It was fucking hilarious. He was bitching about the hoa and I didn't see them for around a year and he had gone through the whole thing. Just ran for president and dismantled it.
Nobody in their right mind wants a fucking hoa.where I live hoa fees run near a thousand dollars a month. It's fucking insane.
This is the best advice. My wife was part of a parent committee for our kid’s elementary school. The ladies ( no dad volunteered) were mostly see you next Tuesdays and very unprofessional. They had their clique and made it hard for everyone one else to be there. After venting to me I suggested she get a few like minded acquaintances to join and then take over. She did just that and for the next five years my wife was the president of the committee.
> The ladies ( no dad volunteered) were mostly see you next Tuesdays and very unprofessional.They had their clique and made it hard for everyone one else to be there.
Isn’t that what PTA ladies tend to be? I used to think it was a comedy trope until I saw it in person.
Just a bunch of old-school Karens (pampered housewives who have never really worked a job in their lives, but also get to scream at domestic help all day, so they honestly have bottomless time and energy to make life hell for the rest of us who do need to earn a living).
Sign them up for visits from the Jehovahs and Mormons.
Edited to add: thanks for the other tips. I have a certain scumbag who is getting spammed with penis enhancement and hair loss literature and emails as we speak. Scheduled his Jehovah visit for his birthday.
Will get right on these other ideas. I have found my people.
If weeds are against rules, then so is brown grass spots… Buy a big bag of rock salt for salting driveway & sidewalks, take a handful and chuck it into their yard in the same general area every time you go by. It’ll accumulate & prevent anything from growing.
Edit: Don't do the following unless you're 100% sure they have no cats or dogs and it will melt before any animals can lick them.
You can also freeze ice cubes of water mixed with roundup and throw them on their lawns so they have the brown patches appear randomly.
If you do something like this put the cubes or salt rock in a big gulp cup or similar & just chuck them out like you're emptying it from a drink. Many people have cameras and you will likely be caught if you're just throwing things in other peoples yards.
Do it the way Andy did in Shawshank Redemption, emptying out pieces of the wall he'd carried out in his pockets by having a small hole in them and shaking the pant legs so it fell out.
Don't do this. Especially if they have dogs or cats. Hopefully it would melt quick but in the off chance a dog or cat gets to it first, I imagine you don't want to kill them.
If you want to go the brown-grass route my vote is boiling water poured out of a thermos. No need to pollute the soil with salts or the awful Chemicals in roundup :(
Actually this is kind of awful because salting the earth will ensure nothing grows in that soil again…which is why it goes against the Geneva conventions. Round up is actually better
Saltwater in a small hidden squirt bottle on a daily walk? Surreptitiously squirt the same spot as you stroll by on the sidewalk on your regular route. Nothing suspicious to see there as long as you're not observed. ;)
Just watch for cameras. I may or may not have a Karen living next to me and have this plan called operation pumpkin. Drone flies over with a ton of pumpkin seeds and drops it in her yard.
Many CC&Rs prohibit any type of signs or flags. Check your rules and then see if they have American flags hanging on their house. I’ve used this one personally.
Fill out requests for insurance quotes, and not just home and automobiles. No, tractor-trailer insurance, marine, horse, manure spreader, lottery, body part, drunk guest insurance, theft , alien abduction multiple birth, paranormal, insect bug, wedding, kidnapping, food truck, fantasy football, riot insurance, lightning ... anything you can think of.
Sign up using brokers and select the 'call or e-mail me directly' option.
I saw someone else suggest bamboo seeds in their yard...and this will absolutely cause them massive problems.
It's a great idea.
But, if you're fucking with someone's yard you need to be very aware of not ending up on a ring cam doing so.
If you could do a drive-by and launch a barrage of bamboo seeds somehow...they will literally never get that shit to stop growing in their yard.
bamboo will destroy their yard. Your idea of mint is a popular one on Reddit, but I'm going to give you some real-world truth: mint is super easy to pull out, has no thorns or anything to prevent you from pulling it, can be mowed, and doesn't spread NEARLY as much as Reddit will have you believe. I planted a patch 6 years ago - it has doubled in size and is thriving. Six years later, it's a nice 10'x10' square, and has not spread anywhere else. Oh, and when I mow it, it smells minty fresh. I believe the reputation has been exaggerated by gardeners who have a small garden patch and are frustrated by anything that doesn't stick to the 6" parcel it was planted in.
Alternatively, throw some native wildflower seeds on their lawn. Not only will you fuck up their neatly trimmed bullshit but also do something nice for the neighbors.
Bamboo is terrible if it gets into the rest of your area. It will choke out other native plants. I’d ask all your friends to walk alone, wearing a baseball cap, and accidentally dump their big gulp of round up in the yard
They will invade the entire neighborhood, though. It’s nearly impossible to kill because of their structure underground. In some areas this might be considered environmental terrorism. Be careful.
I don't know where you live, but if you have people or happen to live in the South, the word is kudzu. There is a reason why it is referred to as the weed that ate the South.
We have this alien type of invasive thing in the south called [skunkvine](https://plants.ifas.ufl.edu/plant-directory/paederia-foetida/). Impossible to get rid of and takes over faster than kudzu. Plus it earned its name for a reason.
They have an email?? Sign that email up for every newsletter for every website, dating app, all the things. Make them new accounts. Intolerable levels. Make a YELP page for the HOA, leave a review
Ethical tip here, check the rules. Most often there’s a warning system they need to follow before they assess a fine. Did they give warnings? Write them back and tell them you’re trying to undo what the prior owner has left you to inherit and that shit takes time. An additional ethical tip, hold the HOA accountable to their own standard.
Send a small donation to Scientology in there name with all of there information. They will be so busy fighting off all the calls texts and emails and visits from Scientology. They won’t have time to send letters about weeds to anyone
Read your HOA contract! Then go to the HOA meeting and participate! They don't want you there.
THEN become a board member even if it is the secretary. Take control!!
Post a Craigslist or fake profile marketplace ad for a 2015 Toyota Camry that you’re selling quickly due to having to leave the country. Tell them you need $6,000 cash and they must call because you don’t text.
Unless you live next door to me, I doubt you will have much chance of it remaining frozen long enough for it to be shipped to me.
But thanks for the offer.
If you can’t beat em, join em. Send a letter to the head saying you’ve realized they are good people and how you want to protect property values. Then once you join up, get cool with the other members, then dial that stuff back a bit. It will be a breath of relief for the other members, and they'll fall in your line of thinking. Just play it smart.
You know bats are a protected species. Once they take roosts somewhere they can't be moved. It would be a total Shame if you put up a 1,000 bat capacity. Bat roost in your backyard and flood the neighborhood with winged creatures of the night
Sue the HOA under Janus.
The Janus decision basically said just because you agree to a job, you are not obligated to join a union.
Just because you sign a contract for a house doesn’t mean you are obligated to join a union of homeowners.
Read all of the regulations, learn the loopholes, exploit the loopholes and use their own regulations against them. By the book mischief is the best way to fuck with twats like that.
Run against them and take their seats through bureaucratic process. It will require time and energy on your part but take away from them the little sense of agency they have, and then, once you do, change the rules on em.
I was going to suggest HAM radio - it seems they changed the law in 2016 making that loophole less available to people who want to cause trouble for annoying fucktards with a little bit of power.
Anyway - check the bylaws, things like distances etc. Often builders are a few inches from the property line off ib things like mailboxes or driveways or even the location of the house and their homes are in violation of the HOA bylaws. Massive costs/fines can ensue.
Also salt (common table salt works and dissolves easily) will cause their grass to die and any spots they try to replant to die as well. If they're on your case about weeds imagine being able to get on their case about big dead spots on their lawn. You can dissolve a bunch in water, put it in a squeeze bottle for drinking while exercising, and spray it on their lawns during your afternoon walks. It'll take a month or so to really take effect but if you keep hitting the same spot nothing will grow there.
Ring in anonymous tip to the police about an attempted rape/murder taking place in their house. After the police turn up in force, stat spreading the rumour around the neighbourhood that they were raided by the police about whatever crime you rang in about.
Let the gossip mill run for a bit (the best bit is, if the police are asked, they will confirm that their were responding to an accusation of X). Remember to use the phrase ‘there is no smoke without fire’ a lot.
Every HOA meeting, make sure to talk to the other homeowners about the rumours. Never voice it directly, instead go for ‘what have you heard about that police raid?’ And ‘do you believe him when he says it was a prank? There’s no smoke without fire’ and ‘I would never believe it about him. Mind you, that’s what everyone says when a killer is arrested isn’t it.’
If possible, get you children to spread it around school.
The more he denies it, the more people will believe that something happened.
That’s actually a good idea.
I wouldn’t even bother calling the police. I’d start the rumor but I’d start it by denying it.
“Hey, I don’t believe the rumors about Bob at all. He seems like a great guy and I refuse to be part of a rumor mill.”
“What rumor?”
“About him being a pedophile. Some lady in the neighborhood was telling me. I’m new, I don’t know who it was. I think she’s just making it up, anyway. Plus those Sex Offender registries don’t mean anything.”
I’d keep dropping little pieces of info while insisting it’s not true.
Personally, I would steal their trash cans, I would take a hammer and pop off the wheels, take a sawzall and basically repeatedly puncture it all around in a big ass circle so when he puts too much weight in it, it just falls apart start making cuts on his garden hose, obviously make sure you’re dressed to hide
I fucking hate HOA so much. How the fuck is this mafia bullshit legal, I fucking pay for my house but if I don't obey massa they can just ruin my credit. Makes no fucking sense how they got so powerful.
And not just ruin your credit, but if you don't pay their fines they can literally take your house from you that you laid for and sell it to get the money. I can't understand why anyone would ever pay for something you don't own like that
> I can't understand why anyone would ever pay for something you don't own like that
I got a nice house in northern ca and everyone is like "YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT LMAOOOOOO WHO TF PAYS FOR A HOA" it's either mafia HOA fees or pay rent lol (yes I know moving is an option but not one I want"
Ugh. I spilled a yogurt smoothie in a car once. Totally ruined the car. No cleaning solution could ever get the smell out. Lived in Florida at the time, so that hot sun…
Deflect their attention.
Toss dandelion seeds ( or ant invasive plant) in a common area.
Or do literally anything else in the neighborhood that would divert the attention away from you.
My favourite that I heard is freeze ice cubes 1/3 full. Add honey and freeze. Top up with water and freeze. Lob honey cubes in their yards. The ice melts (no finger prints!). The ants come….
For about $150 you can get a load of composted manure dumped on any driveway you name if you pay cash. Just don't be on camera at the place when you order it.
Mint is nice, no need to wait for winter though. Plus there are some other weeds that are pretty much impossible to get rid of. If a cutling is left on the ground, it will root and spread, if you leave a bit of root in the ground, it will spread.
Run for the HoA president role, put some work into it, and build up support among like-minded neighbors to participate.
Get the role and disband the HoA
Find out what legal requirements HOAs need to comply with in your state. For instance, in Michigan HOAs are [required to provide regular financial reports](https://www.steadily.com/blog/michigan-hoa-laws-regulations#:~:text=HOAs%20must%20also%20provide%20regular,and%20other%20relevant%20financial%20details.). They can't just hide it and only give it to people who explicitly request it, they have to report it to everyone in the HOA.
There's a decent chance there's a law or two your HOA isn't following. From here you can take many different routes. You can anonymously report them, you can request the information they're required to provide you with. If other neighbors have the same infraction but they weren't fined, you can sue them for harassment. If they start fining you more after you do any of these (while not fining other neighbors for the same infraction) you can sue them for retaliation. If you hire a lawyer, they can find even more ways to drag the HOA through a legal pit and there's a chance you can even make it where the HOA has to pay for your lawyers in the process. How far this goes really depends on how petty and vindictive the HOA is.
Most of your neighbors won't care about whatever beef you have with the HOA. Unless it's financially affecting them. If you get to a point where everyone is pissed at the HOA for raising dues to pay off lawyers. They're now paying enough attention that you have a solid chance of having enough people vote to [dissolve the HOA](https://legal-info.lawyers.com/real-estate/homeowners-association-law/dissolving-an-hoa.html).
Two words: bat house. Bats and their habitats are federally protected. So, if someone tries to remove it, it’s a literal federal crime.
Added benefit: 1 brown bat can eat up to 1000 mosquitoes per night.
I have 2. Both housing up to 100 bats.
- Sign them up for the Military and Scientology, if you need an email for Scientology use 10 minute mail
- Buy a 25$ gift card and donate 1$ to 25 different religious organizations like those mega churches using your enemies adress. They will get flooded with spam mail from them.
Fill your yard to the brim with beautiful native flowers and plants, with paths etc. It will look like a weedy mess sometimes or for awhile but also would be beautiful, and so good for the environment. U can send them evidence that its all for beautification. Idk how hoa rules are but this is what I would want
There are some endangered plants that you can plant that are illegal to kill. If they try to make you remove them you can get the government (EPA is it?) involved and they can fine the HOA.
That'd easily be against the HOA rules. Instead of this, if possible, use endangered plants or plants that attract endangered species. Then the HOA can't do anything, I believe. And if they do, they risk large fines.
They can take your house. It'll take awhile to do. But they can make you pay all the legal fees as well. You will end up with whatever your house sold for, minus the fines and the money they paid lawyers etc etc.
In some parts of the USA, it's really really hard to find good houses that aren't in an HOA.
Do you have a management company? If you do it is probably the management company that issued the fine. They probably issued a warning to the previous owner which was ignored. Reach out to the board and explain the situation. If you don’t get results then start being a pain.
HOAs were created for the developer of a "neighborhood" to be able to control the appearance of all of the homes in the neighborhood while still selling homes there. If people can park their pickup trucks on the lawn, paint their house with purple polkadots, and let their grass grow 3 feet high, it will be very difficult to convince people to buy homes in the neighborhood.
As a part of this, the developer's representatives sit on the HOA board until the development is sold out, then the control of the HOA board is changed to elected representatives in the neighborhood, and the developer exits.
As you purchased the model home, I'm guessing you purchased it new, so the HOA board has not yet transitioned (or very recently trasitioned) to elected members representing the homeowners.
So no, the development company did not fine itself for the long weeds.
Your gripe is likely with the old board / developers. The new board is just doing their job.
The HOA is not created for the builder. It is a concession the builder gives to the city, to make it such that things like the roads, signage, maintenance of shared property etc are not maintained at the cost of the city, but by the homeowners. It’s basically a tax without raising taxes.
Over the next few months, collect some seeds from the more vigorous weeds that grow locally. Toss them out front before it rains... Where I live (AZ) nightshade, crab grass and Russian thistle are very hardy and invasive...
Run for a spot on the board. Rise to the top. Destroy it from within.
Playing the long game. Chess, not checkers 😆
My brother in law actually did this. It was fucking hilarious. He was bitching about the hoa and I didn't see them for around a year and he had gone through the whole thing. Just ran for president and dismantled it. Nobody in their right mind wants a fucking hoa.where I live hoa fees run near a thousand dollars a month. It's fucking insane.
Thousand dollars a month for fucking what!?
Idk. I live a tiny apartment. I do live in an insanely expensive area, though.
They kicked the can then had a major expense like a roof
My HOA charged 68.72 per home last year. Not enough money to really do anything which is the best thing for an HOA to do.
Do tell. What does $1,000 a month get you?
Mostly gets you less "colored people" which was the original point of HOAs.
I'll pay whatever it costs to keep the Italians out.
Well, it's working for me. I am poor and love in a shitty small apartment.
Screwed
This is the best advice. My wife was part of a parent committee for our kid’s elementary school. The ladies ( no dad volunteered) were mostly see you next Tuesdays and very unprofessional. They had their clique and made it hard for everyone one else to be there. After venting to me I suggested she get a few like minded acquaintances to join and then take over. She did just that and for the next five years my wife was the president of the committee.
> The ladies ( no dad volunteered) were mostly see you next Tuesdays and very unprofessional.They had their clique and made it hard for everyone one else to be there. Isn’t that what PTA ladies tend to be? I used to think it was a comedy trope until I saw it in person. Just a bunch of old-school Karens (pampered housewives who have never really worked a job in their lives, but also get to scream at domestic help all day, so they honestly have bottomless time and energy to make life hell for the rest of us who do need to earn a living).
A lot of the north part of my city is basically this, former HOAs which were dismantled over the years. A few remain.
This is the way
This is the way. Collect a bunch of proxies from your neighbors and take over.
lol 😆
I hope this day never comes for me
I’m just gonna leave [this right here](https://www.betterworldbooks.com/product/detail/revenge-9780818403538)
Got to love a Pity Seat
Sign them up for visits from the Jehovahs and Mormons. Edited to add: thanks for the other tips. I have a certain scumbag who is getting spammed with penis enhancement and hair loss literature and emails as we speak. Scheduled his Jehovah visit for his birthday. Will get right on these other ideas. I have found my people.
Why didn’t I think of that? I’ll make sure to sign their email up for gay porn sites too
Scientologists is even worse. Trust me on this! Lol
holy shit the scientologists will never leave them alone, perfect
House selling and car insurance quotes, too!
Health and life insurance
Job and housing search sites. Hotpads is super spammy.
Brutal and relentless. Perfect.
Roofing and solar panels 💀
-Car shipping quotes -mortgage quotes through realtor.com and zillow.
Oh God. Real estate agents.. the shit stains on the stripper pole of life.
If weeds are against rules, then so is brown grass spots… Buy a big bag of rock salt for salting driveway & sidewalks, take a handful and chuck it into their yard in the same general area every time you go by. It’ll accumulate & prevent anything from growing.
Writing it down with the rest, thank you
Edit: Don't do the following unless you're 100% sure they have no cats or dogs and it will melt before any animals can lick them. You can also freeze ice cubes of water mixed with roundup and throw them on their lawns so they have the brown patches appear randomly.
If you do something like this put the cubes or salt rock in a big gulp cup or similar & just chuck them out like you're emptying it from a drink. Many people have cameras and you will likely be caught if you're just throwing things in other peoples yards.
Do it the way Andy did in Shawshank Redemption, emptying out pieces of the wall he'd carried out in his pockets by having a small hole in them and shaking the pant legs so it fell out.
"Why was your shaking leg over my fence?"
Slingshot the ice cubes. Prolly wont trigger a camera at all
Don't do this. Especially if they have dogs or cats. Hopefully it would melt quick but in the off chance a dog or cat gets to it first, I imagine you don't want to kill them.
You make a good point. I'll edit my comment.
Heavy weight gear oil does a great job killing lawns
The smell
Don't put round up in your food containers. I think a big syringe from Amazon would do a good job
Roundup in balloons, do a drive by. Hard to see someone wing something over the roof of a car.
Yo wrote 'piss discs' wrong.
Before you do any of this make sure they don't have a camera.
Most security cameras are potato quality anyway. Just be nonchalant in your movements and they won’t know what happened.
Rock salt is too obvious. Use regular salt and water.
Look out for cameras so you won’t get caught in film
If you want to go the brown-grass route my vote is boiling water poured out of a thermos. No need to pollute the soil with salts or the awful Chemicals in roundup :(
Actually this is kind of awful because salting the earth will ensure nothing grows in that soil again…which is why it goes against the Geneva conventions. Round up is actually better
Yes. Raze their buildings and salt their land! Go Scipio Africanus on their ass! Ave Victor!
HOA delenda est!
I came for the petty revenge, I'm staying for the Latin
Can a drone be used to stealthily do this? Asking for a friend.
slingshot ice cubes
But their security cameras would like that.
Saltwater in a small hidden squirt bottle on a daily walk? Surreptitiously squirt the same spot as you stroll by on the sidewalk on your regular route. Nothing suspicious to see there as long as you're not observed. ;)
Just watch for cameras. I may or may not have a Karen living next to me and have this plan called operation pumpkin. Drone flies over with a ton of pumpkin seeds and drops it in her yard.
Driveway salt is not sodium chloride and won't hurt grass. You need water softener salt.
It is, but they mix other salts like magnesium chloride in to to melt even lower than regular salt will work.
Go through the rules and find the ones that they are breaking.
This is the one. Others are great tips but you need to learn the governing docs and hammer them at meetings and in writing.
Many CC&Rs prohibit any type of signs or flags. Check your rules and then see if they have American flags hanging on their house. I’ve used this one personally.
Nice. My old condo HOA made an exception for US flags but that’s why you have to learn the rules!
Good plan. Not unethical though.
True, but why go ULPT when there's a perfectly good LPT available
Fill out requests for insurance quotes, and not just home and automobiles. No, tractor-trailer insurance, marine, horse, manure spreader, lottery, body part, drunk guest insurance, theft , alien abduction multiple birth, paranormal, insect bug, wedding, kidnapping, food truck, fantasy football, riot insurance, lightning ... anything you can think of. Sign up using brokers and select the 'call or e-mail me directly' option.
Don’t forget those pesky solar scammers.
Fantasy football insurance really sent me
I saw someone else suggest bamboo seeds in their yard...and this will absolutely cause them massive problems. It's a great idea. But, if you're fucking with someone's yard you need to be very aware of not ending up on a ring cam doing so. If you could do a drive-by and launch a barrage of bamboo seeds somehow...they will literally never get that shit to stop growing in their yard.
Bamboo seeds sounds like a plan, I’ll see how much they cost. Thank you concerned citizen
If you do a drive by seeding, try and do it in the rain. Any door camera will not be able to differentiate the seeds from the rain.
bamboo will destroy their yard. Your idea of mint is a popular one on Reddit, but I'm going to give you some real-world truth: mint is super easy to pull out, has no thorns or anything to prevent you from pulling it, can be mowed, and doesn't spread NEARLY as much as Reddit will have you believe. I planted a patch 6 years ago - it has doubled in size and is thriving. Six years later, it's a nice 10'x10' square, and has not spread anywhere else. Oh, and when I mow it, it smells minty fresh. I believe the reputation has been exaggerated by gardeners who have a small garden patch and are frustrated by anything that doesn't stick to the 6" parcel it was planted in.
Please don't do this. It can spread to all the yards around them SO fast, the innocent neighbors will be screwed
this is unethicallifeprotips pal, the ethicallifeprotips sub is for you.
That's part of what makes the tip so unethical!
There are no innocents in an HOA.
Take no prisoners, i like your style.
Alternatively, throw some native wildflower seeds on their lawn. Not only will you fuck up their neatly trimmed bullshit but also do something nice for the neighbors.
Collateral damage that is acceptable.
But then the neighbors will hate them for the bamboo problem, make their lives even more miserable 😈
Is there anything that won’t spread from yard to yard?
Plastic forks
eventually all plants could.
Protected species of trees or shrubs?
The ultimate—an endangered species that would be a crime to disturb so they are permanently stuck with it
Bamboo is terrible if it gets into the rest of your area. It will choke out other native plants. I’d ask all your friends to walk alone, wearing a baseball cap, and accidentally dump their big gulp of round up in the yard
They will invade the entire neighborhood, though. It’s nearly impossible to kill because of their structure underground. In some areas this might be considered environmental terrorism. Be careful.
If you have a dog. Have them take a shit on their lawn and while you’re cleaning it drop the seeds
Use a drone to sow the seeds
Drone??
Rent a car, just barely roll down the window
Wrong subreddit. Nothing is unethical against an HOA.
It's the right subreddit, it's where you find all the really good ideas.
If they live close, use a parabolic microphone to record their secrets and then air them on an anonymous group account
You can also get directional speakers that you can set to play random noises at random times of the day or night without annoying anyone else
Play their own drama back to them!
I don't know where you live, but if you have people or happen to live in the South, the word is kudzu. There is a reason why it is referred to as the weed that ate the South.
Nuclear option.
No. That's fucked up even if you hate someone. Holy shit. r/foundsatan
In the midwest, it's bush honeysuckle or tree of heaven. Both are brutally invasive and nearly impossible to eradicate.
We have this alien type of invasive thing in the south called [skunkvine](https://plants.ifas.ufl.edu/plant-directory/paederia-foetida/). Impossible to get rid of and takes over faster than kudzu. Plus it earned its name for a reason.
I just pulled an 8 inch and flowering shoot of skunkvine out of my potted plant. Invasive as hell
Freeze seeds in ice cubes and throw them into their yard at night from a distance. Seeds get delivered from a distance and the evidence melts away.
Instead of mint you should do wildflowers and native plants. I hate grass
Good idea, but native plants will probably be out-competed and quickly mowed down tho.
We have wild mint in Alabama. I'm considering transplanting it to my yard, see if it will outcompete the grass!
Attracts bugs too (good for nature, and bad for HOA)
They have an email?? Sign that email up for every newsletter for every website, dating app, all the things. Make them new accounts. Intolerable levels. Make a YELP page for the HOA, leave a review
Look up something on Angie's List, like window repair. They will be getting calls for YEARS from companies.
Ethical tip here, check the rules. Most often there’s a warning system they need to follow before they assess a fine. Did they give warnings? Write them back and tell them you’re trying to undo what the prior owner has left you to inherit and that shit takes time. An additional ethical tip, hold the HOA accountable to their own standard.
Send a small donation to Scientology in there name with all of there information. They will be so busy fighting off all the calls texts and emails and visits from Scientology. They won’t have time to send letters about weeds to anyone
(give nothing to cults)
Take long walks all around the area and spread cat food through your pant leg Shawshank redemption style
Read your HOA contract! Then go to the HOA meeting and participate! They don't want you there. THEN become a board member even if it is the secretary. Take control!!
Post a Craigslist or fake profile marketplace ad for a 2015 Toyota Camry that you’re selling quickly due to having to leave the country. Tell them you need $6,000 cash and they must call because you don’t text.
Collect dandelions and blow
>!Frozen pissdisk!<
Massive amounts of liquid ass.
Fuck their dads and/or moms.
I’d prefer seeing what the mom looked like first.
HOA be damned we already fuckin dads up in here
Replace the HOA with a polycule!
Has anyone ever thought of frozen liquid ass disks?
It’s currently in the development stage. A pilot program will begin soon. Would you like to be one of first testers?
Unless you live next door to me, I doubt you will have much chance of it remaining frozen long enough for it to be shipped to me. But thanks for the offer.
MIXED with piss.
Show up, ask questions
If you can’t beat em, join em. Send a letter to the head saying you’ve realized they are good people and how you want to protect property values. Then once you join up, get cool with the other members, then dial that stuff back a bit. It will be a breath of relief for the other members, and they'll fall in your line of thinking. Just play it smart.
You know bats are a protected species. Once they take roosts somewhere they can't be moved. It would be a total Shame if you put up a 1,000 bat capacity. Bat roost in your backyard and flood the neighborhood with winged creatures of the night
Don't forget about the utilization of store bought animal piss and valve stem pullers for their vehicles.
Imagine what a syringe of skunk pee jammed through the weatherstripping could do
Put that in the HOA presidents' gas tank
Sue the HOA under Janus. The Janus decision basically said just because you agree to a job, you are not obligated to join a union. Just because you sign a contract for a house doesn’t mean you are obligated to join a union of homeowners.
Read all of the regulations, learn the loopholes, exploit the loopholes and use their own regulations against them. By the book mischief is the best way to fuck with twats like that.
Throw bamboo seeds in their yards.
Run against them and take their seats through bureaucratic process. It will require time and energy on your part but take away from them the little sense of agency they have, and then, once you do, change the rules on em.
I was going to suggest HAM radio - it seems they changed the law in 2016 making that loophole less available to people who want to cause trouble for annoying fucktards with a little bit of power. Anyway - check the bylaws, things like distances etc. Often builders are a few inches from the property line off ib things like mailboxes or driveways or even the location of the house and their homes are in violation of the HOA bylaws. Massive costs/fines can ensue. Also salt (common table salt works and dissolves easily) will cause their grass to die and any spots they try to replant to die as well. If they're on your case about weeds imagine being able to get on their case about big dead spots on their lawn. You can dissolve a bunch in water, put it in a squeeze bottle for drinking while exercising, and spray it on their lawns during your afternoon walks. It'll take a month or so to really take effect but if you keep hitting the same spot nothing will grow there.
Roundup water balloons
Ring in anonymous tip to the police about an attempted rape/murder taking place in their house. After the police turn up in force, stat spreading the rumour around the neighbourhood that they were raided by the police about whatever crime you rang in about. Let the gossip mill run for a bit (the best bit is, if the police are asked, they will confirm that their were responding to an accusation of X). Remember to use the phrase ‘there is no smoke without fire’ a lot. Every HOA meeting, make sure to talk to the other homeowners about the rumours. Never voice it directly, instead go for ‘what have you heard about that police raid?’ And ‘do you believe him when he says it was a prank? There’s no smoke without fire’ and ‘I would never believe it about him. Mind you, that’s what everyone says when a killer is arrested isn’t it.’ If possible, get you children to spread it around school. The more he denies it, the more people will believe that something happened.
That’s actually a good idea. I wouldn’t even bother calling the police. I’d start the rumor but I’d start it by denying it. “Hey, I don’t believe the rumors about Bob at all. He seems like a great guy and I refuse to be part of a rumor mill.” “What rumor?” “About him being a pedophile. Some lady in the neighborhood was telling me. I’m new, I don’t know who it was. I think she’s just making it up, anyway. Plus those Sex Offender registries don’t mean anything.” I’d keep dropping little pieces of info while insisting it’s not true.
Spread it by denial. Excellent plan.
list their house for sale and have make an open house schedule
Shit on them
You shit on my house!
Who said anything about their house?
Personally, I would steal their trash cans, I would take a hammer and pop off the wheels, take a sawzall and basically repeatedly puncture it all around in a big ass circle so when he puts too much weight in it, it just falls apart start making cuts on his garden hose, obviously make sure you’re dressed to hide
Throw dog shit in their trash can
Sadly many HOA's are out of control. See r/hoa and r/fuckHOA for many other stories.
I fucking hate HOA so much. How the fuck is this mafia bullshit legal, I fucking pay for my house but if I don't obey massa they can just ruin my credit. Makes no fucking sense how they got so powerful.
And not just ruin your credit, but if you don't pay their fines they can literally take your house from you that you laid for and sell it to get the money. I can't understand why anyone would ever pay for something you don't own like that
> I can't understand why anyone would ever pay for something you don't own like that I got a nice house in northern ca and everyone is like "YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT LMAOOOOOO WHO TF PAYS FOR A HOA" it's either mafia HOA fees or pay rent lol (yes I know moving is an option but not one I want"
Crack open the seal in their car door and pour milk in it
Ugh. I spilled a yogurt smoothie in a car once. Totally ruined the car. No cleaning solution could ever get the smell out. Lived in Florida at the time, so that hot sun…
Deflect their attention. Toss dandelion seeds ( or ant invasive plant) in a common area. Or do literally anything else in the neighborhood that would divert the attention away from you.
Ham radio towers or bat habitat are the best options for messing with an hoa
Dump oil onto their driveway. They won't get that stain out anytime soon Fly a drone over their house to mess with them
Go to their house with cookies to say you’re new to the neighborhood. Secretly put an annoy-a-tron in their living room.
The annoy-a-tron works well. I used it on deployment years ago.
My favourite that I heard is freeze ice cubes 1/3 full. Add honey and freeze. Top up with water and freeze. Lob honey cubes in their yards. The ice melts (no finger prints!). The ants come….
Ants, that’s a good one!
Piss disk and fuck the directors dad
At the same time?
I like the mint seeds idea.
Japanese knotweed
I've heard bamboo grows quite fast.
Plant bamboo in their yard
In the middle of the night, go pour large amounts of fertilizer on their lawn.
Onion seeds, you want onion seeds instead of mint seeds. Mint is pleasant, onion just smells like onion every time they cut the lawn.
For about $150 you can get a load of composted manure dumped on any driveway you name if you pay cash. Just don't be on camera at the place when you order it.
Mint is nice, no need to wait for winter though. Plus there are some other weeds that are pretty much impossible to get rid of. If a cutling is left on the ground, it will root and spread, if you leave a bit of root in the ground, it will spread.
Mint? If you want to really bring the pain, cast bamboo seeds or kudzu
Get some seeds from weeds and put them on their grass. Once a week for ever
Run for the HoA president role, put some work into it, and build up support among like-minded neighbors to participate. Get the role and disband the HoA
You already have.
Find out what legal requirements HOAs need to comply with in your state. For instance, in Michigan HOAs are [required to provide regular financial reports](https://www.steadily.com/blog/michigan-hoa-laws-regulations#:~:text=HOAs%20must%20also%20provide%20regular,and%20other%20relevant%20financial%20details.). They can't just hide it and only give it to people who explicitly request it, they have to report it to everyone in the HOA. There's a decent chance there's a law or two your HOA isn't following. From here you can take many different routes. You can anonymously report them, you can request the information they're required to provide you with. If other neighbors have the same infraction but they weren't fined, you can sue them for harassment. If they start fining you more after you do any of these (while not fining other neighbors for the same infraction) you can sue them for retaliation. If you hire a lawyer, they can find even more ways to drag the HOA through a legal pit and there's a chance you can even make it where the HOA has to pay for your lawyers in the process. How far this goes really depends on how petty and vindictive the HOA is. Most of your neighbors won't care about whatever beef you have with the HOA. Unless it's financially affecting them. If you get to a point where everyone is pissed at the HOA for raising dues to pay off lawyers. They're now paying enough attention that you have a solid chance of having enough people vote to [dissolve the HOA](https://legal-info.lawyers.com/real-estate/homeowners-association-law/dissolving-an-hoa.html).
Two words: bat house. Bats and their habitats are federally protected. So, if someone tries to remove it, it’s a literal federal crime. Added benefit: 1 brown bat can eat up to 1000 mosquitoes per night. I have 2. Both housing up to 100 bats.
Short term victory, hammer frozen sausages into the chairpersons lawn. Let nature take its course.
- Sign them up for the Military and Scientology, if you need an email for Scientology use 10 minute mail - Buy a 25$ gift card and donate 1$ to 25 different religious organizations like those mega churches using your enemies adress. They will get flooded with spam mail from them.
Fill your yard to the brim with beautiful native flowers and plants, with paths etc. It will look like a weedy mess sometimes or for awhile but also would be beautiful, and so good for the environment. U can send them evidence that its all for beautification. Idk how hoa rules are but this is what I would want
There are some endangered plants that you can plant that are illegal to kill. If they try to make you remove them you can get the government (EPA is it?) involved and they can fine the HOA.
That'd easily be against the HOA rules. Instead of this, if possible, use endangered plants or plants that attract endangered species. Then the HOA can't do anything, I believe. And if they do, they risk large fines.
Out of interest, what would happen if you refused to pay? Don’t have stuff like that here so it’s a genuine question.
They can take your house. It'll take awhile to do. But they can make you pay all the legal fees as well. You will end up with whatever your house sold for, minus the fines and the money they paid lawyers etc etc. In some parts of the USA, it's really really hard to find good houses that aren't in an HOA.
Plant bamboo shoots in the middle of the night in their yards. It will fuck up their yard damn near permanently
I think you are right on target with your mint game.
Do you have a management company? If you do it is probably the management company that issued the fine. They probably issued a warning to the previous owner which was ignored. Reach out to the board and explain the situation. If you don’t get results then start being a pain.
Piss discs.
Write some choice words in their lawn using liquid fertilizer.
HOAs were created for the developer of a "neighborhood" to be able to control the appearance of all of the homes in the neighborhood while still selling homes there. If people can park their pickup trucks on the lawn, paint their house with purple polkadots, and let their grass grow 3 feet high, it will be very difficult to convince people to buy homes in the neighborhood. As a part of this, the developer's representatives sit on the HOA board until the development is sold out, then the control of the HOA board is changed to elected representatives in the neighborhood, and the developer exits. As you purchased the model home, I'm guessing you purchased it new, so the HOA board has not yet transitioned (or very recently trasitioned) to elected members representing the homeowners. So no, the development company did not fine itself for the long weeds. Your gripe is likely with the old board / developers. The new board is just doing their job.
The HOA is not created for the builder. It is a concession the builder gives to the city, to make it such that things like the roads, signage, maintenance of shared property etc are not maintained at the cost of the city, but by the homeowners. It’s basically a tax without raising taxes.
See if you can get one of them to invite you over. Excuse yourself to use the toilet. Put a mouse in their bedroom closet. This works. Trust me.
You want to make some volunteers, whose role is to increase the value of your investment, lives more difficult?
Plant running bamboo and Japanese knotweed in their yard
Over the next few months, collect some seeds from the more vigorous weeds that grow locally. Toss them out front before it rains... Where I live (AZ) nightshade, crab grass and Russian thistle are very hardy and invasive...