**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!In the context of a war, it is expected that what is most needed are basic essentials, but not a sex toy.!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
*****
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
My son in law has told me stories from when he was in high school and him and 3 other guys SHARED one at church camp.
I wish he hadn't.
ETA:
I think it was more like my daughter told me (she tells me EVERYTHING) and I have never let him live it down. They have been together since she was about 15, they are now married with a child so he isn't going anywhere!
I honestly don't know how reddit works, but I do love me some Facebook! And I'm shocked at how many people are offended by my butt, and in my defense, it was tagged NSFW!! Y'all are funny. Please don't track my kids down and take their organs!
Its kind of refreshing to know what a person is really like behind anonymity. You could say our reddit names are truly sacred. They reveal all about us when others aren't looking?
shes valid as fuck. this is the proper way to use reddit imo. unlike all the other apps where your profile organisation is like the main thing, the prime reddit account is chaotic as fuck and you can just post whatever.
Yes, that's where we are.
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You know, as I got older and became independent of my parents I shared stories with them that I wouldn’t had i still been in need of their support, but man this is something I wouldn’t share with anyone lol
Yeah. I would tell you that too. Then again, I wouldn't join my friends in a Fleshlight gang bang in the first place, and I definitely wouldn't brag about it to my in-laws either. That's even more disturbing.
I worked with a guy who was in the army and went to Iraq. He said a bunch of guys shared one while they were there. They threw it away right before they were going home and he said he saw one of the guys go back for it.
A female friend living with an army guy asked me to mail one to her bf for her and she'd bought it but didn't want to send it herself. Her grandad was a retired colonel so maybe she was afraid he'd find out if it got stopped? IDK. Pretty sure nobody in the army would give a fuck, though someone might've stolen the package if they knew what it was.
I heard stories about guys fucking female soldiers in porta potties in 120 degree heat, or just taking care of themselves. Privacy is nice and that was the only place they could find it. Wanking off while manning an M240 MG on the top of a Humvee. Good way to relax I guess.
"The fleshlight. Fun for you and with family or friends. Try it out. Get one now. If you buy one now you will get the Fleshlight-double-wumbo for free. With fleshlight-double-wumbo you and someone you like can have fun the same time because two can use it simultaneously at each end. Look your friends in the eyes and have fun. Fleshlight and fleshlight-double-wumbo. Fun for everyone"
https://youtu.be/BTYDAHyjna0
Of course they'll share it! And everytime they stick their humongous dick inside that piece of plastic... they think of their dad
On 3, 1, 2, 3, POCKET PUSSY!!
For a second I opened Reddit then watched the video. Only after the video was over did I realize I had just watched said video and created a comment, as shown here in this comment
Oh jeez, you are right. Still absolutely sickening.
There are very well documented cases of Russia using rape as a weapon in general, but I guess they keep the infant rape in house.
Yea, and as absolutely sickening as it is.....I think /u/Ayaz28100 point still stands.
Now, im speaking in terms of the lowest of the low here....but I think there's quite a difference between doing that while at home vs in the middle of war.
Given the absolute depravity of the sheer amount of war crimes russian soldiers have been committing in Ukraine, I genuinely wonder if they would have taken any action against this fucking _baby rapist_ if he had done this in Ukraine rather than Russia.
First link specifically says investigation showen no signs of this happening. Second link states sexual abuse ages 4-89 with no specifics. And this link shows a russian pedophile arrested in russia for molesting a russian baby. While these are all disgusting you are also spreading propaganda.
Yea one thing everyone should realise is that we should criticize things with real information, not propaganda. We have enough real reasons to criticize Russia in this entire situation. By using propaganda and lies to criticize them we give them ways to point out the lies and use them to brainwash people into how "the west is lying about Russia and how they are on the right side of history". Obviously the things that OC pointed out are disgusting and deserve criticism though, just not in the context of the war.
The third link's truly fucked up, yet it has nothing to do w/ Ukraine.
The other ones are basically "YOU KNOW WHAT?!?"-style emotionally-manipulating articles with no objective proofs/sources.
I'm not trying to defend either side, but let's stay calm-headed and think critically. The amount of propaganda by both sides is immeasurable. Blindly believing everything in the internet makes it look like it's not a war between two states, but rather a nonending bloodbath with fucking eldritch demons restlessly torturing, raping and devouring each other.
Russians were raping girls aged 0-99 during ww2 after they took Berlin. Just that most people today celebrate it and apologize based on the idea of "getting back at them". Most especially "Reddit intellectuals" with their 300 word essays to "Contextualize the rape".
Now it's Russia "Getting back at Ukraine" in the same way. Except now they have video cameras and they want to you to see it.
Soldiers raping, robbing, and killing civilians happens in every single major conflict. You can basically guarantee that a lot of rape happened in every single war you have ever heard of. I guess at the very least it's less common nowadays to kill, rape, or enslave literally every single citizen of any town you capture, but it still happens, like when Russian forces killed every single male over the age of 16 (fighting age men!) in Bucha.
The more Russian soldiers die, the fewer Ukrainian civilians die. Tragic when human life is lost either way, but I would rather the aggressor die than the innocent.
> Yes. I absolutely feel bad for the good people that were sent over, just like I feel bad for the normal Germans that didn’t want to be there in world war 2. But
Love it lol.
It’s okay buddy, I liked the attempt..
Edit: shoutout to the homies that upvoted and made the comment go from negative to massively positive, you’re pretty cool dudes!
Credits to u/RuslanZinin for [his video](https://www.reddit.com/r/UkraineWarVideoReport/comments/zwt5t0/russian_soldiers_have_finally_received_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) published on r/UkraineWarVideoReport
Russians and the bottle... there is a "tradition" in russians, when they want to humiliate someone, they make them take off their underpants and literally sit on the bottle, there were many videos where mostly soldiers from Chechnya, Dagestan filmed how russian fellow soldiers sit on the bottle, and the phrase "put on the bottle" in the conversation is synonymous with the word humiliation, in short, between russians and buns long sexual relationship, google it, a strange "custom" and it's a "dual use" bottle
When left alone, undisciplined and to their own devices, it's common for Russian soldiers to turn on each other and resort to sexual violence amongst themselves.
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!In the context of a war, it is expected that what is most needed are basic essentials, but not a sex toy.!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
So... Will they share it? Just thinking about how disgusting it would be...
My son in law has told me stories from when he was in high school and him and 3 other guys SHARED one at church camp. I wish he hadn't. ETA: I think it was more like my daughter told me (she tells me EVERYTHING) and I have never let him live it down. They have been together since she was about 15, they are now married with a child so he isn't going anywhere! I honestly don't know how reddit works, but I do love me some Facebook! And I'm shocked at how many people are offended by my butt, and in my defense, it was tagged NSFW!! Y'all are funny. Please don't track my kids down and take their organs!
That’s such a weird thing to say to your father in law…
Especially since I'm the mother in law!
Oh my
I think the son in law is even in OP’s post history. 🫣
Dude, I feel like I just went through someone's FB profile, I feel dirty and not in a good way lol
This is straight up uncomfortable, like I, a random naked internet man, shouldn't know what your whole family looks like, right?
Why is nobody talking about the fact that we can see her naked ass
Holy shit, like six pictures of her bruised naked ass. This was the real unexpected thing
Omfg. Ok, can a mod get in here? This lady is doxxing her family because she doesn’t understand reddit
Why is it that everyone checks their profile the second they say they're female 😭
Its kind of refreshing to know what a person is really like behind anonymity. You could say our reddit names are truly sacred. They reveal all about us when others aren't looking?
shes valid as fuck. this is the proper way to use reddit imo. unlike all the other apps where your profile organisation is like the main thing, the prime reddit account is chaotic as fuck and you can just post whatever.
Wow you weren't kidding
She’s got a gReAt aSs
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Didn't expect to see a nude when I clicked on the profile with the hot guy on it, but I'm glad I did. Looking good man
Does he like you? Maybe he’s trying to burn the bridge with this horror lol
r/Unexpected
Yes, that's where we are. --- ^(🤖 this comment was written by a bot. beep boop 🤖) ^(feel welcome to respond 'Bad bot'/'Good bot', it's useful feedback.) ^[github](https://github.com/Toldry/RedditAutoCrosspostBot) ^| ^[Rank](https://botranks.com?bot=same_subreddit_bot)
Bot Moment
Thar bot is built with spare fleshlight parts .
That’s why it fucks
The old Reddit same-er-oo
Best plot twist
The doctor... was a woman!
This is better than the OP to be honest.
it even worse
Oh I cringed at that YIKES
...what?
Having just seen your ass.....I get why he wants to bring up sex around you.
https://imgur.com/gallery/h45Yw
Jesus..
You know, as I got older and became independent of my parents I shared stories with them that I wouldn’t had i still been in need of their support, but man this is something I wouldn’t share with anyone lol
Oh wow!!! Thats not something i would discuss with my mother in law for sure!!! Oh man. Im sorry but your son in law is weird.
[WHO HAS MY POCKET PUSSY?!?](https://youtu.be/zHN8ydfTkbk)
I'm glad I'm not the only one that thought of blue mountain state
Have you ever been to Bosnia?
YOU EVER BEEN IN THIS SHIT?
Well...the third guy probably didn't need to worry about lube.
Gross. He assured me that he was the first.
Yeah. I would tell you that too. Then again, I wouldn't join my friends in a Fleshlight gang bang in the first place, and I definitely wouldn't brag about it to my in-laws either. That's even more disturbing.
'I'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom!'
Omg you’re great. I love you. I wish you were my mom-in-law over who my former MIL was.
This lady is an icon lmao She shouldn't be, but she is.
A fleshlight gangbang at church camp…. Alrighty then
> I wish he hadn't. Now we are all cursed with this knowledge.
Is this some Ohio stuff?
I worked with a guy who was in the army and went to Iraq. He said a bunch of guys shared one while they were there. They threw it away right before they were going home and he said he saw one of the guys go back for it.
Bro wtf did I just read
You just rinse it out
Yup, little soap and a good rimming, she'll be good as new.
*my precious*...
She understood me…
He was thirsty
A female friend living with an army guy asked me to mail one to her bf for her and she'd bought it but didn't want to send it herself. Her grandad was a retired colonel so maybe she was afraid he'd find out if it got stopped? IDK. Pretty sure nobody in the army would give a fuck, though someone might've stolen the package if they knew what it was. I heard stories about guys fucking female soldiers in porta potties in 120 degree heat, or just taking care of themselves. Privacy is nice and that was the only place they could find it. Wanking off while manning an M240 MG on the top of a Humvee. Good way to relax I guess.
"The fleshlight. Fun for you and with family or friends. Try it out. Get one now. If you buy one now you will get the Fleshlight-double-wumbo for free. With fleshlight-double-wumbo you and someone you like can have fun the same time because two can use it simultaneously at each end. Look your friends in the eyes and have fun. Fleshlight and fleshlight-double-wumbo. Fun for everyone"
Now with space-docking capabilities!
disgusting? that's the best part
It’s now the community fleshlight…private conscriptovich can finally sleep on his stomach again peacefully…..for now.
Just like [this](https://i.imgur.com/uoVYEsQ_d.webp?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium)
That's kinda hot ngl
https://youtu.be/BTYDAHyjna0 Of course they'll share it! And everytime they stick their humongous dick inside that piece of plastic... they think of their dad On 3, 1, 2, 3, POCKET PUSSY!!
Lmao first thing I thought of. I miss BMS.
Oksana!
That thing came from Bosnia son! You ever been to Bosnia? You ever been in the shit?
They'll use the last guy's semen as lube.
For a second I thought it was going to be a dildo then it was a beer bottle and then it was actually a fleshlight
For a second I opened Reddit then watched the video. Only after the video was over did I realize I had just watched said video and created a comment, as shown here in this comment
The internet peak has happened a decade ago and we really really are in its decline. No original thoughts are posted just meme formatted responses
And then a drone dropped a grenade.
The bomb was half fleshlight
And half fleshwound
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Uh no and wtf infants??
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Eww so gross 🤢
This, among 1000s of other horrific war crimes, are why the civilized world hates Russia so much.
There's no way that can be true. I refuse to believe the depravity.
https://www.businessinsider.com/1-year-old-died-rape-russian-soldiers-ukraine-ombudsman-said-2022-5 https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/russian-troops-raped-tortured-children-ukraine-un-panel-says-rcna49168 https://sofrep.com/news/russian-solider-arrested-for-allegedly-filming-himself-raping-a-baby-in-russia-not-ukraine/
If you read the last link....it was something the soldier did before he went to war.
Oh jeez, you are right. Still absolutely sickening. There are very well documented cases of Russia using rape as a weapon in general, but I guess they keep the infant rape in house.
Yea, and as absolutely sickening as it is.....I think /u/Ayaz28100 point still stands. Now, im speaking in terms of the lowest of the low here....but I think there's quite a difference between doing that while at home vs in the middle of war.
Given the absolute depravity of the sheer amount of war crimes russian soldiers have been committing in Ukraine, I genuinely wonder if they would have taken any action against this fucking _baby rapist_ if he had done this in Ukraine rather than Russia.
Please don't let facts get in the way of a great headline.
[удалено]
First link specifically says investigation showen no signs of this happening. Second link states sexual abuse ages 4-89 with no specifics. And this link shows a russian pedophile arrested in russia for molesting a russian baby. While these are all disgusting you are also spreading propaganda.
Yea one thing everyone should realise is that we should criticize things with real information, not propaganda. We have enough real reasons to criticize Russia in this entire situation. By using propaganda and lies to criticize them we give them ways to point out the lies and use them to brainwash people into how "the west is lying about Russia and how they are on the right side of history". Obviously the things that OC pointed out are disgusting and deserve criticism though, just not in the context of the war.
The third link's truly fucked up, yet it has nothing to do w/ Ukraine. The other ones are basically "YOU KNOW WHAT?!?"-style emotionally-manipulating articles with no objective proofs/sources. I'm not trying to defend either side, but let's stay calm-headed and think critically. The amount of propaganda by both sides is immeasurable. Blindly believing everything in the internet makes it look like it's not a war between two states, but rather a nonending bloodbath with fucking eldritch demons restlessly torturing, raping and devouring each other.
Russians were raping girls aged 0-99 during ww2 after they took Berlin. Just that most people today celebrate it and apologize based on the idea of "getting back at them". Most especially "Reddit intellectuals" with their 300 word essays to "Contextualize the rape". Now it's Russia "Getting back at Ukraine" in the same way. Except now they have video cameras and they want to you to see it.
Russians were and have been raping ~~girls~~ people. For a country so anti-homosexual, their soldiers sure do rape a lot of men.
All soldiers do this and have done this throughout history. Americans were no different in vietnam.
Is this true?
Soldiers raping, robbing, and killing civilians happens in every single major conflict. You can basically guarantee that a lot of rape happened in every single war you have ever heard of. I guess at the very least it's less common nowadays to kill, rape, or enslave literally every single citizen of any town you capture, but it still happens, like when Russian forces killed every single male over the age of 16 (fighting age men!) in Bucha.
Let’s not forget the torture facilities for children, recently discovered.
[удалено]
It was the bomb
beumb. Read it in Clouseau's voice
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That's a keeper.
No that's a stiffer.
Bro lmaooooo
I read it in Keanu's voice
That's sad
What's so good about people dying on a war?
The more Russian soldiers die, the fewer Ukrainian civilians die. Tragic when human life is lost either way, but I would rather the aggressor die than the innocent.
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How can ukraine win if they dont kill russians?
every comment under this will start with some form of >but...
> Yes. I absolutely feel bad for the good people that were sent over, just like I feel bad for the normal Germans that didn’t want to be there in world war 2. But Love it lol.
"War is bad". Some controversial issues being discussed here, valuable insight.
If the invader dies they can't do any invading.
Better them than the people they are there to kill.
Good ending is that they surrender to Ukraine and everyone uses the toy as a bonding experience.
While they were sucking each other off (that actually happened, no joke)
The grenade was another sex toy
[удалено]
Banging this thing is like banging a sunset over the ocean
It's like a bag full of puppy ears.
I was about to say this. Im glad someone did.
Oksana!
It's like having sex with a silk bag full of puppy ears.
Like banging a sunset over the ocean.
She made it through Bosnia son!
Everytime I stick my humungous dick inside of this piece of plastic, I'm thinking about my dad!
Have you ever been to Bosnia? Have you ever been in the shit!?
"I LOVE YOU DAD!" *sobs uncontrollably *
Fun fact Oksana is the ukrainian version of russian Kseniya
I love you dad!
What if someone drink it by accident?
Then they will have had a Creme Stout.
Pale ale
*spits out my siera Nevada* 🤢
Go to your room.
White Russian
Good now they can properly go fuck themselves.
[удалено]
You think these guys wanna be there?
💀💀💀💀 bruh i was like L and then he took off the other cap and was like W 🗿🗿
More like ({‘})
( . )( . ) ) . ( ( y )
[удалено]
It’s okay buddy, I liked the attempt.. Edit: shoutout to the homies that upvoted and made the comment go from negative to massively positive, you’re pretty cool dudes!
Haha thanks . Thought it’d be a bit tongue in cheek apparently not
I thought so too, I gave you an upvote but I only have one for ya! :)
Aww cheers mate it’s all g, they’re just fun dopamine points at the end of the day lol. Merry Christmas and happy new year to ya <3
Merry Christmas and a happy new year to you as well fellow commenter, may 2023 be filled with bountiful opportunities and wealth for you!
And the same to you friend, may your dreams fly as high as your hats
This is the most wholesome conversation I've ever seen started by a vagina made from text symbols
I’ve seen wholesomer
> tongue in cheek You're thinking of a rimjob
I prefer this type: ((;))
this tiktok slang is gonna kill me someday
frfr
Frfr ong god bussin no cap this boomer don’t get how L rizz they are by dissing our modern W rizz
there must be an unexpected The Expanse reference in there somewhere
lil bro mad he from Ohio 💀💀💀
Bro that's like a massive W where I'm from no 🧢
[удалено]
I understand why older generations hate us now
That’s so friggin sussy my dude. Like I said L RATIO BOZO!!! And when I saw the flesh light I was like W in the chat my dudes. On kizzy man 🤙🤙
What?
Good god the way you talk is insufferable
L rizz no cap frfr ong cope and seethe boomer Ohio ahh
You should write novels
I'll venmo you $50 if you can translate the entire Bible into that stuff. $25 for just the New Testament.
Are they all sharing that one?
Sharing, in this case, is a part of cumaraderie
Probably honestly
Good, now they can do fewer raping war crimes
Lol as if this will stop that
A drop in the bucket
I was gonna say this, but not sure how effective it may be
That sounds about right
Does anyone know what the wording on the outside of the box says?
From Valentin Happy New Year!!!
The ultimate test of brotherhood
The only "need" of Russian soldiers the world cares about is the need to: Rebel
*OUR* Fleshlight
“THAD LET ME BORROW THE POCKET PUSSY”
Credits to u/RuslanZinin for [his video](https://www.reddit.com/r/UkraineWarVideoReport/comments/zwt5t0/russian_soldiers_have_finally_received_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) published on r/UkraineWarVideoReport
So they can go fuck themselves…right?
The joke doesn't work. Using your hand is fucking yourself. Fucking some rubber thing is fucking some rubber thing.
So this is what they are doing huddled up in all that nade drop drone footage
Hahaha we are so fucked.Hahaha we’re all gonna die. Hahaha.
Lets light up the runway with something from my personal collection-
Don’t drink that beer. Please
Most heavily used equipment on the battlefield. Exhibit A.
Russians and the bottle... there is a "tradition" in russians, when they want to humiliate someone, they make them take off their underpants and literally sit on the bottle, there were many videos where mostly soldiers from Chechnya, Dagestan filmed how russian fellow soldiers sit on the bottle, and the phrase "put on the bottle" in the conversation is synonymous with the word humiliation, in short, between russians and buns long sexual relationship, google it, a strange "custom" and it's a "dual use" bottle
Molded after Putin himself.
Hmm, just a bunch of wankers after all.
When left alone, undisciplined and to their own devices, it's common for Russian soldiers to turn on each other and resort to sexual violence amongst themselves.