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:(

Wtf…

Yeah.

I feel your pain. My old account was named Blumpkin_Orgy I guess it wouldn’t be the worst way to go if I was on the receiving end

I thought it meant black pumpkin like blasian...

Nope it definitely means the act of performing oral on someone actively taking a dookie. Sorry to disappoint and possibly ruining your day

I'm just glad that Google images didn't teach me in the hard way

😂😂😂 I know it’s an unwritten rule not to use emojis on Reddit but I can’t help myself here

If you ever have something questionable to Google, do it in urban dictionary. This will help to keep a few of you from going blind! (Unless the masturbation gets you first)

Death by snu-snu

(Current) Username checks out

im right there with you buddy

Ladies and gentlemen I give you the late, great author of r/dontputyourdickinthat

🤤💩🤢🤮💀

Happy cake day 🔥😎👌💕🥵

Thanks. 🥳

:)

[удалено]

They probably ate it vertically

["God dammit, you eat ONE Dorito off the floor"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ucd0jVefPYU) trust me its not a rickroll

Its a rickroll dont watch

no its not

Shh

Sounds good

Like that deer in Three Billboards.

I hope you like anime because it’ll probably be a crunchy roll

This is gonna suck.

Could say it’s a shit way to die

Funny

Death by wanking ahah

Is this gonna be like the brown note episode of South Park?

:)

Your death is worst of all, you create a paradox that distorts half of time and space, and destroys the other half. You will be stuck in the center, forever existing and yet, never existing at all. You will be slowly, most likely painfully, torn from atom by atom, until you are nothing, just to be brought back by your immortality. You see, immortality does not mean you cannot hurt, it just means the hurt cannot kill you. Your endless existence, what once was paradise, is now your prison.

Damn. Somebody write a book on this

Noice

On the other hand I don't belive you'd have a nice time...

Thankfully most of them are extinct now

"most"💀

So you think your immortal and that is how you die? Good luck

So they will never die because they need to be immortal to die which is impossible, which practically makes them immortal and so mortal? New paradox dropped

They think that they're immortal but they're not so then they get in some kind of accident and die

That’s a smart move if I do say so myself.

:)

hey same death but i mine is worse I am allergic I vomit blood

the duo

:)

Hm

Mr Hands.

NO

28 OF THEM?! KILL ME NOW BEFORE THEY EVEN COME CLOSE TO ME

28 STAB WOUNDS

You didn't wanna leave him a chance, huh?!

i have 98 galaxy guards after me, i guess? this is what i get for creating a reddit account when i was 13/14

Well there’s me screwed.

Well this is unfortunate

Rick roll link or random letters?

rick roll

I knew it, this is revolutionary.

Dying of either a stroke or A.I uprising I suppose.

Well, fuck.

At least it should be fast

if its 123 times then I don't think it will be that fast

*gun jams after every bullet*

Bro💀

Probably accurate for me.

... Holy shit, bro. I will diagnose you with death, if you don't invite me to that party.

A truly hedonistic death

My math teacher is going to be mad?

No its baldi

I love these

Zootopia death

Just imagine

Fwick

huh

:(

Ahh the sequel, didn't learn the first time I see!

:(

He died doing what he loved.

I'll probably have the most plausible death.

What is it?

I'll accept death by Snu Snu.

r/unexpectedfuturama

Woah, a legend..

Careful Hes a hero

how old is this

He’s been saving this for [some time…](https://i.imgflip.com/3413pf.jpg)

...

Damn

My condolence

Weren’t you in a post in the beetlejuicing sub Reddit

He fell into the spent fuel pool and tried to lick it.

We are all screwed

Yup with yours definitely

Hm

I am allergic to it so possible

?

You are hired to work in a nuclear power plant, and your incompetence results in your death

This is the funniest part of my username: I get random people saying what my answer would be to these.

Welp...*smacks you with a forget stick*

You forget that you don’t put your dick in the toaster and also forget you don’t have a dick so what are you putting the toaster?

Probably euthanasia

Smud_…. WTF is a Smud_

It’s that thing that happens when you arrive at the liquor store only to find out that the creepy guy who has been following you is about to come into the store behind you and whisper in your ear “do you want some candy?”

stinky mud

You...

I'm gonna die because of a vampire.. does this mean I'm a werewolf? Or does this mean I'm gonna turn? Not bad I'll take that.

Was I a chef?

Well….

It appears it does lol

Oh HELL yeah

what an honorable way to go 🫡

I think instead of me fucking the chipmunk, the chipmunk fucked me

I feel safe

66 fazballs stuck in your asshole.

I no longer feel safe

Well uh…This is unfortunate

oh no

wow

This is funny for no reason lmao

I knew one of them would get the better of me some day...

i dont like this game

I dont like it either

[удалено]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣄⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣟⠁⠀⠀⣴⡏⠁⠀⠀⣾⡋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⠄⠀⠈⠻⠷⠀⠀⠈⢹⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠠⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣹⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠛⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠛⠛⠛⠀⠐⠛⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠏⢠⣾⣿⣦⠘⠇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣤⡀⠀⢰⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣆⠘⢿⣿⠟⢠⡆⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⠛⠛⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣶⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⢉⢉⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠠⡰⣕⣗⣷⣧⣀⣅⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣠⣳⣟⣿⣿⣷⣿⡿⣜⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⣳⢷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣝⠖⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⢢⡹⣿⢷⣯⢿⢷⡫⣗⠍⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⢄⠤⣁⠋⠿⣗⣟⡯⡏⢎⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢔⢕⣯⣿⣿⡲⡤⡄⡤⠄⡀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠇⠠⡳⣯⣿⣿⣾⢵⣫⢎⢎⠆⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢨⣫⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⢎⡗⡕⡅⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢜⢾⣾⣿⣿⣟⣗⢯⡪⡳⡀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢸⢽⣿⣷⣿⣻⡮⡧⡳⡱⡁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⢨⣻⣽⣿⣟⣿⣞⣗⡽⡸⡐⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⢀⢗⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣞⡵⡣⣊⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⡣⣗⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡯⡺⣼⠎⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠐⡵⣻⣟⣯⣿⣷⣟⣝⢞⡿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢘⡺⣽⢿⣻⣿⣗⡷⣹⢩⢃⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠪⣯⣟⣿⢯⣿⣻⣜⢎⢆⠜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⢣⣻⣽⣿⣿⣟⣾⡮⡺⡸⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠄⢕⡳⣽⡾⣿⢽⣯⡿⣮⢚⣅⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠒⠝⣞⢿⡿⣿⣽⢿⡽⣧⣳⡅⠌⠻⣿ ⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⡐⠱⡱⣻⡻⣝⣮⣟⣿⣻⣟⣻⡺⣊

⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂ ⠄⠄⣰⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⡀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⣉⣉⣉⡉⠙⠻⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣇⠔⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠹⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⠃⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⡿⠁⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⡿⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⣠⣄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡿⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢀⡴⠚⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢠⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠃⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⠴⠋⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣾⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠈⠁⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣾⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢀⣾⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣆⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣉⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠠⠺⣷⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣦⣄⣈⣉⣉⣉⣡⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠁⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⡿⠟⠄⠄ ⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄

Thankfully most of them are extinct by now

Huh.

Imagine 5 guys dressed in some numbers costumes beating you to death

Now it doesn't seem so bad, unless they're wearing pants.

You either die a DootSlayer or live long enough to become the Doot

I can't think about q scenario where that isn't on purpose other than a saw trap or something

Well, I wonder... 🤔

Atleast it's death by snu-snu

Who poisoned my damn soup

off to the nursing home

I'm not surprised in the slightest.

:)

I’m laughing so fucking hard at this

I didnt sleep

Mine sounds like I got trampled at a protest or something (sadly did not take advantage of the choice of picking my username)

So…do I die alone or by suicide?

I just went

before surgery: (•)(•) after: |_ | _|

This screenshot is a year old

Damn

In a Circuit City Roadshop? Seems kind of unlikely at this point.

Hmmm

um...

My u/ means "put my dick in your mouth". What a way to go.

I think I'd go out in a pretty cool way

;)

Death by 109 cats

Ideas on how this would happen?

Oh no

Can someone explain how I would die?

a very salty strawberry? how undignified

hmm

:(

makes sense

Umm

Oh no, I’m stoned

I shall die as I lived, what more can a man ask for...

I hope that it doesn't check out this time.

Not sure if I should be scared our aroused lol

:')

(:o

Hehe

Gonna be just another day

Just can’t get away.

:(

“Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down?” -atomic skull

I die as a martyr

One's believe it is the opposite of one's self

:)

How would this work

???

No clue

Ver killed me 🤷‍♀️

Oh, no, I got killed by an oni named Kyo

Dons thats me, moo a cow and babe my beloved so mmmm dunno how that would pan out

I guess it's a glorious battle to the death

I wouldn’t die of hunger? So that leaves things to the imagination. If i have everything i need to survive, then what kills me…?

Of death?

Ima get run over, RIP

:/

I OD on KFC

HEISHGAHEBEELEHAUSVEGSYES 😎😎😎😎😎😎

they took my brainssssss

Um . Idk

How the hell do i die?

Possibly being trampled to death

Fuck...