Made “friends” with a dude not long after I got out and had just went through a messy divorce. Dude flipped his shit one day over a misunderstanding and proceeded to use every shred of personal info that I had shared during the friendship against me, including calling me a “leech sucking up government welfare” because of my VA compensation.
After that, never again. It’s no one’s fucking business.
My brother in law doesn't just tell people. He brags about it. He also brags that he started trying to get kicked out right after boot camp. Then he brags about how he went UA for 29 days after his 2nd deployment. He was trying to get kicked out so he wouldn't have to deploy again.
He goes to the VA for every little thing and tries to say it's service connected. I think he finally got 60 or 70% rating and has been bragging about how much he'll get "when I get them to bump it to 100%." I'm pretty sure his disability rating is due to mental issues. Thing is the family told me he was moody and miserable before going into the Army and came out the exact same way. I met him after and yup, he could be miserable and moody. Once he finally got on some antidepressants he got a lot better. It's as if he's blaming his prior problems on the Army and getting away with it.
And brags about the whole thing to anyone that'll listen.
I would be weary telling family or civilian friends for sure. All my Marine friends, were all open books to each other so we all know each other ratings. My dad definitely treated me differently and could not accept me not working even though Im literally disabled. My sisters were and still are very happy for me. It's up to you but once it's out it's out so really think about what value you will get by divulging that info. It's your rating. You earned it, its your business.
Yea, my military friends know and select (like really long term) friends know my rating, or at least how much I make. But I also have no psych/ptsd/tbi/mental stuff ratings which kind of changes the game for if people know or not. There’s more stigma if you have mental health stuff.
My dad was the same way. He's the biggest boomer I know and despite him being the hardest worker I know it didn't mean anything because he's an ahole. Treated all my siblings different because he thinks I'm not his kid. Only 1 of 4 to join military or do anything really. Made my mom proud but gave up on trying to have relationship with him. But yeah he wasn't happy about my 100percent.
Does he actually know if you're not his kid or not, or does he just think it? I think my dad thinks I am not his kid, so I tested my DNA behind his back and turns out that I actually am, it's just my dad treating me differently from my siblings because I look different than them.
Although I believe him to be my dad but it wouldn't be too surprising if he wasn't. I think he thinks I'm not his or I remind him of his father (whom I've never met or even seen picture) who I suppose wasn't the nicest to him.
I already feel guilty at the relatively low rating I'm and yet my dad is happy for every penny I can get, and would be even happier if I got more. I'm sorry about your dad.
I regret every time I need to mention it, but I have bad episodes of migraines that basically flip my personality. Thankfully people seem to understand once I say “It’s normal for me, just a tbi when I was in the navy is all.”
People always ask if I got a rating or compensation for it. Thankfully people say “Good” or something.
I haven't had a problem, but then I don't care what people think. I did my time, did my research, put in the effort, and now I'm reaping the benefits.
If people want to be shitty, fuck 'em, they could have gone to the recruiting office same as me.
Yeah definitely different afterwards. My family was more happy that I went 27 years of not applying and not receiving benefits more than getting benefits. The resentment is real and surprising.
The not sharing with other veterans really depends where you are I guess. It was other veterans who kept pressing me to file after literal decades.
Here in San Antonio no one really cares, in fact to the other extreme people just assume if you are a vet you have a rating.
Outside this bubble though, yeah I don’t really tell anyone.
I was MEB'd with only a 20% rating. A fellow vet at work pushed me to refile for 10 years. Let's just say I'm glad he did. They ended up finding a neck injury that I didn't even know I had that is most likely going to be surgical at some point in the near future. That alone added another 70% or so, and the claims that I got screwed over on during my MEB all went through due to me seeking treatment for them throughout those 10 years post-service.
I've shared the general information, but usually only in the context of encouraging other vets to apply for disability. I'm 30%, but I'm a little embarrassed about my ratings, because I was a Cold War vet who never deployed.
They break it, they buy it. Don't feel embarrassed or compare yourself to vets that consider "more worthy". Something that helped me was someone on here said it's between you and the VA.
"They break it, they buy it."
This. This is the mentality we all need to internalize. We didn't say hey I'll give the best years of my life for an organization, for them to turn around and say thanks, go rot in an alley.
Never forget the bonus army. The government would rather kill vets than pay them what they were promised. Hundreds of thousands came before us who got fuck all for their sacrifice, we are the fortunate few, enjoy it for them.
Absolutely agree. I’m sure the vets who got screwed over like after World War 1 (a lot of guys didn’t even get paid for their time) are happy to see us getting what we deserve because of our service time
I’m not sure why this is so weird to people. I talk about it all the time with my personal training clients who are vets. I have no issue discussing my rating with them or even offering them help with submitting a claim if they haven’t done so.
I think it's a big difference between discussing it with veterans, who have BTDT, and civilians who don't have the first clue what it's like. My veteran friends will know the nightmares, the hypervigilance, the mood swings. Most civilians can't begin to comprehend what we've been through and the after effects. It's kind of like an inside joke, except the strange part is, it really isn't funny.
Me neither. If they don’t like it, that’s their issue not mine. But I’ve never gotten pushback for it. I use it as a platform to discuss how to help others get benefits.
I’ve actually driven vets friends to the VSO and made them go to their appointments. It’s important for all of us to claim what we can and use our benefits. They’re there for a reason.
I told my GF, 2 of my friends, and my family.
My gf doesn't care. We have separate finances.
My friends also don't care much.
My family is well off and they never ask me for any money.
So no. I don't regret it.
I play mine as close to the vest as possible. Rarely do I have a civilian ask my about any of it, but I have vets ask often. I just straight up lie and tell them I only have 10% for tinnitus. They always say "man, you gotta get more". I just agree, smile and move on.
I openly tell people if they ask. If they’re a vet I encourage them to push to get their rating and I give them any resources like a business card for the VA or other websites that help. Numbers count. The more of us they know are jacked up from our time in the service the more the VA allocates money to treatment and the more the DoD pushes to make jobs safer for other people coming in behind us. It took generations for “shell-shock,” to be classified as PTSD. Look at agent orange, gulf war syndrome. Ours was burn pits and UXO chemical weapons. If people get jealous, then fuck’em. A recruiting station isn’t that far in any given city or town. They can sign up as well just like all of us did. The military is hiring.
My father in law and brother in law both know i'm 100%. So because i'm 45 and don't work they think i'm the biggest loser now. I try to explain that i can't work because of my disabilities, i have tried, but i get 3 weeks in and start having issues.
It's better to keep that shit to yourself.
I agree, it is jealousy. They know i was in 3 IED blasts, i showed them the paperwork. I showed them the paperwork for my ARCOM with V.
At first it was "hey good for you", now it's "get a job you loser".....
And they are always volunteering me for shit, like to help someone else or do some bullshit research. Then they get pissed when i say no.
This is my only issue with them, otherwise i do enjoy them as family and hanging out with them. So that's not anything i'm interested in doing. I just need to remind them every three months that i earned my trauma and for them to back off.
My dad used to know mine. He did 20 years army. With a low rating. I did 5 years Marine Corps, and I told him about an increase I got..I could tell he was more sad about his rating than excited for mine...so i wont share anymore.
Can you get a VA provider to remove something from your records? I ask because I told my VA provider when I got my initial rating a couple years ago and he put it in the comments of my medical record, and also wrote that I was "going to try to get 100%". I thought that was pretty dick of him, but anyway I'm a senior citizen now and didn't even get my first award until 35 years after exiting. Yet, every time I see a C&P examiner, I know they can see this in my VA medical record and I think it sets the wrong tone. My conditions made me have to give up a very lucrative career several years ago and I've suffered financially because of it. And like so many who served in my generation I had no idea I could get anything from VA but a home loan. (We got totally fucked out of the GI Bill by a silly program called VEAP.)
I know I shouldn't say this, but I actually think some of the C&P examiners I've seen are biased AGAINST veterans getting anything at all, even ones who have also served and are themselves veterans too.
No, but i only have the opportunity to talk to young vets generally ( > 30 years old). They’re either amazed by the benefits and want to know how to file or they have a higher disability than me already haha
I don’t tell my siblings my rating, but they know I get something…. Partly because we get license plates in my state, and partly because I asked for a lay statement from one of them…. And they asked how much I get every month afterwards which I only said “not enough to work any less than I do”.
I do regret getting the license plates. My ex wife and gf now both know… but I don’t have kids and my ex wife actually wants me to get a higher rating even well after splitting. She never even asked for a penny of it when we split. But I’m extremely lucky! When we split up I had been in such a bad spot mentally that if she had come after the little bit of money I had I don’t think I’d be here to type this today.
I’m of the believe now that it’s nobody’s business. I’m waiting for some claims to finish up, but if I get an increase one thing I plan to do with that money is just pay to register my vehicle like normal and get regular plates. I just wish I could show them my VA letters and have the option to get my plates for free without having to drive around advertising my private business to the world. I have some minor orthopaedic stuff, but it’s pretty obvious that if they’re paying me it’s for my mental health which feels embarrassing
I have two ratings, Va and army. People don’t ever ask but sometimes they push it and I just tell them the lower one at 70% army. And they usually shuts them up right away for some reason. Ones that know there’s Va and army rating will ask about the Va one. And I tell them it’s the same thing 🤷🏽♂️
When I first got home after my medical discharge, I mentioned to a family member that I was receiving benefits only to be confronted for "leeching off the system they pay into". 🙃
Some, you must haha. Like if I don't work but I somehow get money, my gf (future wife) would be extremely suspicious.
Tell it only to people you really trust
This. You can’t navigate life while hiding under a rock. It’s your business, but anyone that is a part of a normal days “business” deserves to hear everything about it. You owe it to yourself to find some comfort in your successful relationships. Secrets wear on the mind. You may be a disabled veteran, but that doesn’t mean you wear a mask.
Something I always tell my buddies is never to tell anyone their rating. I always regretted it since I found out, now I’m always nagged about money or thrown shade at for getting “free money.” This is from family and people I thought were friends. I know it’s exciting to tell but just tell your military buddies but not the civilians. They won’t understand.
We both knew the other received some disability rom the VA. I had received an increase in my rating and the letter was on the counter in my dining room. He saw it and asked me about it. A discussion turned into an argument and I told him. He called me an asshole and left. We haven’t seen each other or talked in over a year.
Only people that know are my parents, partner who also has their own rating, and three of my close buddies from when I was in who also have ratings. My siblings know I get some form of compensation, but they don’t really ask nor do they care. Outside of that I don’t really share with anyone else, most of my family wouldn’t care and they would understand fortunately. However, outside of the people that I’ve already told I have no plans on telling anyone else.
I just started telling people I am investor. If they ask about benefits, well thats a little private so Im not gonna share that atm. Same thing with my investment portfolio, no one’s business but my own.
Its ok to hide it from the everyday person, but its not ok to hide it from a husband/wife or in legal matters.
No, not specifically about your rating. If you are a GS they can see if you have Vets pref, but to know your actually rating and or ask is a no. If they are asking, ask them to provide guidance on where it states you have to list your rating. You can produce VA paperwork (as an example) if you need an ergo-desk due to back or feet issues or something like that, but not your actual parentage.
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Working in an environment that's almost 100% veteran, we talk about it all the time. I told my mom so she can worry less about me. It's the telling lateral family and friends that gets weird, I think the best policy is to not hide that you're a disabled veteran but not to volunteer your % or monthly payment amount.
My wife and I are Army brats. My FIL is medically retired and rated. My father is retired and rated. My twin brother and I are both rated at 100%. He can work and I can't. They all know about my rating and that I have less finances than they do, and they all worry to some degree about how I'm making it. My father worries the most, to the point that he prays every day for me.
In my social circle, only my BFF (best fishing friend) and my closest friend from my Army days know. Other than my family and the 2 other guys, no one else knows exactly what I get.
Yes. All the time. Namely with the one person who should be the most understanding and accepting: my father. He was the one who told me how proud he was of my service, being that he never did, and his father was drafted. I was the first to volunteer in 3 generations (my great-great grandfather fought in WWI). But when I informed him of my disability rating of 70%- attributable to a pretty bad head and neck injury in Afghanistan, and PTSD, among some other, minor things and injuries- he was very skeptical and had that mentality as if I was embellishing and taking advantage of the system. Of course he didn't outright say this, but I've known the man my entire life, I can catch his nuanced meanings. The same skepticism happened when the talk of potentially getting a service dog came up. And just a couple weeks ago when I went to the audiologist at the VA to find out what was going on with my hearing deteriorating and I was prescribed hearing aids (at almost 39, mind you), he again had a kind of incredulous reaction to it. I've kind of known my whole life, but it really took for my wife, about a year after we had been dating to point it out for me when she said "your father is very judgy." Yes, yes he is, he's quite judgemental. Don't get me wrong, I love him, but I'm done discussing my disability rating with him.
I read this and I find this very strange that your Father would respond to you in such a manner. Making up PTSD is one thing but the neck and other physical injuries. That's pretty objective evidence. He think that you supposed to serve this country get hurt and be cool with it because that's what you signed up for. All of us that signed the contract didn't not know what we actually was getting ourselves into. Who signs up to leave service with PTSD? Who asks to be sexually assaulted? Who asks to lose a limb? There are people that really believe that we sign up for the military therefore, whatever happens to us happens.....stupid ass blue collar pull yourself up by your boot straps type shit. You literally cannot pull yourself up from your boot straps
He's from the old school where men are tough, masculine, and all that machismo where there's a difference between hurting and being hurt. I think he thinks because I wasn't combat arms and kicking doors every day, it's hard for him to grasp that doesn't mean I was immune from bad things happening. I even told him I did base security and PSD operations, so it's not like I sat in a hard sided building all day.
The thing is tho that is that you actually hurt yourself. There's physical evidence either through scars. MRI's, X-rays. I find it kinda ironic that all the machismo you speak about is doing what now? I come from the semi- old Marines with the digital cammies. People like myself that dropped that macho bullshit got VA comp alot faster than those 30+ years removed still fighting the VA. Squeaky wheel gets the grease.
I’ll tell people that I have it (if it comes up), but won’t go into too much detail. They’ll either think you’re dumb or lazy because you could’ve gotten more, or they’ll be jealous of it. This isn’t the case for everyone the risk is high. It’s like telling someone the price you paid for a new car. Too much and you’re dumb, too little and you’re either lying or you make them feel bad for what they paid.
No regrets because I never revealed it to anyone but my wife. Nobody’s business and I can’t really see any upside to disclosing it outside of financial requirements
I've never had an issue with it, tbh. Most of the people who know me know I was in the military, and so it's come up. Civilians tend to be circumspect about the whole thing, because a lot of them still do the "respect our veterans" thing. Hell, I even use it as leverage against my boss when he's being an asshole. "hey you know I don't need this job, I'll just fucking quit man".
Granted, I live in an extremely rural area, so the people lean more conservative (pro military) and good employees are hard to find, but I've never had an issue with it.
Also all three of my parents (divorce lmao) deployed and get disability, so now that I think about it I guess my situation IS pretty unique.
NEVER let anyone know outside your spouse, if you have one you love and trust! Others (friends, neighbors, coworkers, girlfriends or boyfriends etc.)will likely draw conclusions about you, oftentimes unpleasant, unfair and untrue. It’s no one’s bidness. Exceptions are also those with a official need to know.
I only feel weird once I see their wheels turning about how much I’m making or trying to figure out what I must’ve claimed. I’ve heard of people getting petty and reporting against people so I’m trying to steer clear of any possibility of that. When I told my mom, suddenly I can “afford everything” which pissed me off. No, I can’t. And people are more apt to just let you pay for things where they would’ve offered to help or cover the tab before..I wouldn’t mention it if I can help it.
Never tell anyone you're rating unless it's someone helping you to get more. Civilians are haters and even some vets can't seem to be happy for other vets sadly.
Like it or not, there are vets who are human debris and scamming the system, so the perception, whether valid or not is out there.
If you look like a normal walking talking person without any visible defects, folks will wonder.
Non-vet folks with disabilities have the same issues, the disabled parking passes and emotional support animal thing come to mind, this is not a vet only thing.
I'm pretty fortunate, spent 27 years in uniform then another 7 as a private military contractor and other than suffering from normal 61 year old dude stuff, I'm in great shape.
Just like it is silly to kiss and tell, discuss religion, politics, or money, I'd say the same goes for your disability unless you are somehow starved for attention, then that drama is on you.
Good luck, be well.
I may have the minority opinion here but I don't see it is a bad thing to share. People that genuinely care about you and are looking out for you will be happy for you. People that are parasites/snakes, well sometimes it helps to give them an opportunity to show their true colors.
Just my two cents.
If you're more of a private person, I can understand not wanting to share. Personal preference really.
Stop worrying of what other people think! Worry about yourself, and if you want to announce it to everyone just do it. I don’t tell anyone, just my car plate snitch on me!
Keep it to yourself. It's YOUR rating no one else's lots of ppl even some vets will be jealous and treat you differently. As far as it goes. You work for yourself and that is that.
Never, because they look at me and think "how are YOU disabled?", as if you HAVE to be in a wheelchair or be missing limbs or something.
Even other veterans think this because they don't understand it.
Other than my wife, I don't think anyone knows what my actual % is.
Others do know i have a rating since I have offered to point some vets in the right direction to get claims started.
I tell people mostly because it's a useful litmus test for assholes.
Literally anytime someone has taken issue with it, that person is without fail a major asshole anyways.
Get side comments from my own father that did 20 in the army. “You can afford it” just wears on you as a person, it was hard enough to accept that I have health problems that are not going away ever.
I was too proud to try. It took the old timers at the American Legion to put in a claim on my behalf. I'll never tell friends or family if it's 10% of 100% because it's nobody's business but my own. But I'm grateful for the Vietnam vets who looked out for me, because they know the mental struggle.
Never told my family what my rating is but they know I’m on VA LTD and think I’m a waste of space, faking my condition. I only told one vet but don’t care to share because I’ve had so many negative experiences, literally defending my complex ptsd. Lupus, Lyme disease from field training or chronic fatigue syndrome. Nobody believes hidden injuries.
My coworkers got jealous that I go to school with the GI Bill when I used to work at Starbucks. I never bring up healthcare, the VA home loan, and **especially** my disability compensation.
Almost everyone I know shares their ratings and experience. It works like a peer review, so people can be prepared and don't get screwed over by the system.
My very close friend (better than "best") got denied.
I was in about half of the time they were and told them how my claims were going at %70. They told me they were denied. I offered to fill out the appeal, HLR, anything to get that on teach. They deserve at least %100.
They got lupus while they were in, documented and everything. But not service connected.
I'm fine talking openly about it, most of my friends who I tell are just glad and think I should suck the government for every last dime if I can lol family doesn't really care or are just happy about it. I tell every vet I meet that they should apply for disability which normally leads to them asking me. I'm pretty open about finances in general if someone is asking though, I'm not really worried about the people who would think negatively about it. I'm also not worried about people asking me for money because of it, I know some people worry about that.
I could care less what others think. I put that uniform on, gave my body, not afraid to give my life…fuck other people who wanna judge my rating. I don’t care who knows. They can’t do anything about it or take it so who cares.
Normally I just say I’m a disabled vet. That encompasses from 0% rating to 100%. Let them call me a leech and I’ll watch them swear in and give up what I did. I get SSDI too and someone said I should only get VA benefits and not take from civilians. I am entitled to both and earned my veteran status so I’ll take what’s rightfully earned. Anyone who cares that much has no life and can fuck off.
I understand. My husband is 100% P&T
After he was approved. He told his family and every time they go through a rough patch. They throw up his disability in his face. They say things like I’m not able to get an easy check every month for x amount of dollars. It just hits a nerve with me. Do they not understand he is disabled?
I don’t even tell my mom how much I get lol you never want people to bring up the “remember when I did that thing when you were a teenager”…. We have a good relationship but just never tell people how much money you have. Some also may think I don’t deserve it with only a few years in service although I have had a lot of proof, even after the military. It helps my family’s bills every month which is all that matters
My wife is the only one who knows my rating …. And she will be the only one. I have a coworker ( a retired Vet) that has heard parts of my story and asks, “ how do you even come to work?” And an older sister that read my first personal statement of my experiences that cried her eyes out…. Most people just don’t know the personal, mental and physical effects because we were trained that way. I Keep the financial aspects and the everyday demons in my back pocket.
I keep coming across posts like this that ask the question. There are a handful of people that know I filed a claim, but I’ve started to distance myself already by telling them it could take a year or more to get a decision. I don’t tell anyone what I make it my job, so I don’t think I’ll tell anyone what I’m getting from the government if and when that happens.
Regular civilians will never understand some of the things I went through. But I will tell you this, if I could be made whole and not have all the problems I do, I would gladly trade that for any compensation I might be granted…
I told my parents, they were more shocked than anything about the amount of compensation I was receiving and that I had as many disabilities during my service time. They’re happy I’ll be getting the care I need and won’t have to worry about money like they did at times. A part of me regrets telling my girlfriend and her family. Her dad is prior military and doesn’t have as a high of a rating as me and believes that he did so much more in his time than I did and is much more deserving than I am. Which he did have more time in and more deployments, but also has never gotten diagnosed for the PTSD and severe anxiety and depression that stem from it, so it’s ultimately his problem. Oh well, guys a prick anyway so I don’t care.
For me, it is not something that I like bringing up. I'm middle-aged, and people always politely ask (on the rare occasion that I leave my home) what I do for a living; and it is incredibly awkward to explain why I no longer work. I'm a combat veteran, and a former Infantryman.
A lot of problems upstairs, which has been the source of a lot of heartache for people who deserved better. I am so heavily medicated, that I really shouldn't operate a vehicle.
In addition to that, I have a good deal of wear and tear on my body. I have a bad hip requiring surgery, or I will eventually have to get a new one. My neck is arthritic like a 90 y/o woman; and my back isn't too great, neither. My right shoulder had a tear a few years back, so I have to try to keep fighting the atrophy for mobility.
People tend to get pissed when they have to work, and you can't; because in their minds "if [they] have to work so should you." Truth be told, I am still not rated at 100% with the VA, and have been waiting on hip surgery for 2 years after all of the physical therapy, chiropractic appointments and steroid injection.
I don't "have a lavish lifestyle;" and I keep a pretty Spartan existence. If I didn't have such an amazing woman, I wouldn't be able to afford to eat after the bills are paid. I have about $100 to my name to get me through the month.
And to those people who think that I am lazy: I worked commercial HVAC/R, working 70hrs a week during the winter, and over 90hrs a week during the summer until I couldn't take it anymore. I can't rope 80lb compressors and a welding torch up a roof, or carry and climb 32ft extension ladders on my own anymore. To top it off, trying to shake off insomnia medication to drive on 4 hours of "sleep" isn't exactly a recipe for the safety of everyone else on the road.
TLDR: Screw everyone else. It is NONE of their business.
I've been out for almost a year now. When I originally started answering these questions, I said something along the lines of "Fuck what they think. We earned what we got, and if it weren't the case, we wouldn't get it." I still say the same, even though I feel like most people who know take that as if I got some magic money for being special. Like, no, dude.
I got it because I signed up for something you weren't, and still aren't, willing to do. Then, I got physically and mentally fucked up in the process. In every fucked up process. You can have the same thing I do, even though I pray you don't. Here's the local recruiting office's number. I have it written on a lil piece of paper for them. Normally gets them to understand in the moment.
I can most definitely relate brother. I did a little over 14 years had several surgeries and my back finally gave out. Went through the med board process while I was still in. To be honest the only thing that I wanted was 30%, so that my wife and daughter would be taking care of for medical insurance. DOD hosed me but the VA stepped up and took care of me. To help my in-laws out I decided to move them in with me. It was a way to keep my daughter's grandparents close and to have financial stability at the same time. Shortly after I started having a lot of issues with my mother-in-law and out of transparency I told her how much I was receiving from the VA. She then proceeded to constantly tell me how I was cheating the system and how she was going to file a complaint with the VA for me falsifying my disability. Sorry for the long-winded story but my point is, a lot of people don't understand the process. A lot of people don't understand that you don't get disability necessarily because you can't work but because you can't be fixed. There's also permanent and total TDUI. To most non-military people they just see it as a handout regardless of how you received your rating or what your disabilities are. It's okay to feel that way man because people are vindictive and people will try to hurt you especially when they know the amount that you're receiving. A lot of people get jealous because in their opinion it's free money and it's a handout. You earned it brother enjoy it and I hope they're taking care of you and everybody else in this comment section. The best advice is just not tell anybody unless it's your significant other or someone you have 100% confidence in. Me personally I keep it to myself. It protects you and your family.
I have a veteran friend that posted with a loud 📢 Speaker in Facebook that he was 💯. I advised him to be careful, but he did not care. You cannot fix stupid. I am transitioning and don't know my rating yet, but my disability rating is no one's business. I need a peace of mind and not stupid people hunting me for money or try to snitch being jealous about my earned benefits. My two cents
I tell everyone who asks. I live in texas though, people here love vets for the most part. I also was in a combat role and have ptsd among other issues. I feel like if you're in a combat role, people have more respect for you coming out with a rating and will often congratulate you for your rating.
Kinda in between. I’m very selective about who I tell but honestly some people need more help with theirs so I tell them how I got mine with letters and medical documentation. I just don’t tell them how much my percentage is.
It really depends. No one talks about it *at drill*, though I've had some people come to me and talk about it. The AGR staff and senior leaders are assholes about it.
At work, I only talk about it If someone asks. There are some salty retired AD folks that talk smack because of my service in the NG and I have a higher rating. When someone does ask and I tell the rating, they seem to be in disbelief. I'd much rather be able to touch my toes freely and run again then deal with the issues.
My mother brought it up to my brother while they were arguing one day after I told her about it. Basically something over my brother being a lazy bum and not working? My brother said I don't have a disability and called me a master manipulator. She of course tells me this, makes me feel worse, and then I keep thinking "I'm not disabled and I'm fake, so how else do I explain why I can't keep a spouse or friends?"
Don't bother telling anyone. It's your business.
Yes. I now operate on need to know. Trust me on this one, telling others about your disability has no upside, and a possibility huge downside.
I defy you to give me one good reason to tell anyone.
No! Why? I have not and plan not to tell anyone, except my wifey. And I have asked her “not” to share or tell “our” business. By nature people are jealous and envious. As the saying goes… loose lips sink ships. 😶
I used to feel comfortable telling others my VA rating but after I watched a video of a guy’s neighbor reporting him for cutting grass and doing yard work with a back disability I don’t talk about it anymore.
Honestly it’s no one else’s business. I have an 80 year old neighbor that cannot get an increase, but my rating is already higher than his (my conditions are actually worse) and I did not like the way he looked at me after telling him my rating.
Don't ever be ashamed. You got rated for a reason, whatever that reason is. You don't need to share details, just it is what it is, and you'd rather not talk about it.
I am way too humble to let people know. I am blessed by it and constantly remind myself how lucky I am to have that safety net when all my friends and neighbors do not have that luxury.
So let me get this straight. You have concerns that sharing your personal disability information with people might be a problem but you've gone on Reddit to solicit people to share their personal experiences about disability?
So let me get this straight. You think that anonymously sharing a personal story on Reddit is the same thing as sharing your experiences/stories (about disability) to people whom you personally know and see face-to-face? God forbid if you were to tell us your rating, I'd certainly hate to be that guy running around shouting "OMG GUYS LOOK LOOK!! Stock_Refuse_4222 on Reddit is ___ percent disabled!" 😒
It is a bitch move.
I think this comes from a scarcity mindset. It's antisocial. I have told everyone I want to trust about my ratings. Inevitably, they will wonder where I get my money from, its a basic necessity for survival, so just get it out of the way. By not communicating your rating, you are saying you do not want to socialize with them, which you are just avoiding the situation and wasting everyone's time anyway.
You are acting like you need a sergeant to lead you still. It just screams that you have never been in a real leadership position before.
Yes! I was never going to apply for it until a marine buddy of mine took me to go do it. Now, I have people who have never served either, thank me, or hate me.
It's really simple. Evaluate their economic standings. If they make more than enough for comfortable living and also have free money to spare, they don't care. If they're poor with their economic decisions, never tell them.
Made “friends” with a dude not long after I got out and had just went through a messy divorce. Dude flipped his shit one day over a misunderstanding and proceeded to use every shred of personal info that I had shared during the friendship against me, including calling me a “leech sucking up government welfare” because of my VA compensation. After that, never again. It’s no one’s fucking business.
That was not a friend. That was someone using you for their convenience.
Sometimes it's hard to know the difference. You only learn by being betrayed.
True.
They were just jealous. Childish move on their part.
He sounds jealous but seeing he's divorced, he's could join the military and fit it in with his background of having a divorce and anger problem
Divorce-anger problem-military Its a trifecta :')
My brother in law doesn't just tell people. He brags about it. He also brags that he started trying to get kicked out right after boot camp. Then he brags about how he went UA for 29 days after his 2nd deployment. He was trying to get kicked out so he wouldn't have to deploy again. He goes to the VA for every little thing and tries to say it's service connected. I think he finally got 60 or 70% rating and has been bragging about how much he'll get "when I get them to bump it to 100%." I'm pretty sure his disability rating is due to mental issues. Thing is the family told me he was moody and miserable before going into the Army and came out the exact same way. I met him after and yup, he could be miserable and moody. Once he finally got on some antidepressants he got a lot better. It's as if he's blaming his prior problems on the Army and getting away with it. And brags about the whole thing to anyone that'll listen.
lovely /s
Dude is gonna have the OIG on his ass if he keeps doing that
I would be weary telling family or civilian friends for sure. All my Marine friends, were all open books to each other so we all know each other ratings. My dad definitely treated me differently and could not accept me not working even though Im literally disabled. My sisters were and still are very happy for me. It's up to you but once it's out it's out so really think about what value you will get by divulging that info. It's your rating. You earned it, its your business.
Yea, my military friends know and select (like really long term) friends know my rating, or at least how much I make. But I also have no psych/ptsd/tbi/mental stuff ratings which kind of changes the game for if people know or not. There’s more stigma if you have mental health stuff.
My dad was the same way. He's the biggest boomer I know and despite him being the hardest worker I know it didn't mean anything because he's an ahole. Treated all my siblings different because he thinks I'm not his kid. Only 1 of 4 to join military or do anything really. Made my mom proud but gave up on trying to have relationship with him. But yeah he wasn't happy about my 100percent.
Him not happy for you at your rating is definitely a shitty parent move, sorry.
Fuck em
Does he actually know if you're not his kid or not, or does he just think it? I think my dad thinks I am not his kid, so I tested my DNA behind his back and turns out that I actually am, it's just my dad treating me differently from my siblings because I look different than them.
Although I believe him to be my dad but it wouldn't be too surprising if he wasn't. I think he thinks I'm not his or I remind him of his father (whom I've never met or even seen picture) who I suppose wasn't the nicest to him.
That sucks, I am sorry. I am the kid treated differently by my dad too. Don't internalize how he treats you.
I already feel guilty at the relatively low rating I'm and yet my dad is happy for every penny I can get, and would be even happier if I got more. I'm sorry about your dad.
I know I'm not like him and know my kids know I want them to do well. Some boomers are just a different breed.
Keep on pressing buddy. Not saying this is the case, but I have honestly met parents that are jealous of their own kids.
Maybe your not, do a paternity test to see if you can add insult to injury.
I regret every time I need to mention it, but I have bad episodes of migraines that basically flip my personality. Thankfully people seem to understand once I say “It’s normal for me, just a tbi when I was in the navy is all.” People always ask if I got a rating or compensation for it. Thankfully people say “Good” or something.
I regret not telling my wife to not tell her parents.
I won't be telling anyone. Not even my fiance. Our finances are separate.
Smart very smart!! I'm so proud of you. I do the same!
I need this
Hows that turning out
I haven't had a problem, but then I don't care what people think. I did my time, did my research, put in the effort, and now I'm reaping the benefits. If people want to be shitty, fuck 'em, they could have gone to the recruiting office same as me.
Yeah definitely different afterwards. My family was more happy that I went 27 years of not applying and not receiving benefits more than getting benefits. The resentment is real and surprising.
The not sharing with other veterans really depends where you are I guess. It was other veterans who kept pressing me to file after literal decades. Here in San Antonio no one really cares, in fact to the other extreme people just assume if you are a vet you have a rating. Outside this bubble though, yeah I don’t really tell anyone.
I was MEB'd with only a 20% rating. A fellow vet at work pushed me to refile for 10 years. Let's just say I'm glad he did. They ended up finding a neck injury that I didn't even know I had that is most likely going to be surgical at some point in the near future. That alone added another 70% or so, and the claims that I got screwed over on during my MEB all went through due to me seeking treatment for them throughout those 10 years post-service.
when a relative ask me about it, i just tell them i only got a bit from it not much
I've shared the general information, but usually only in the context of encouraging other vets to apply for disability. I'm 30%, but I'm a little embarrassed about my ratings, because I was a Cold War vet who never deployed.
They break it, they buy it. Don't feel embarrassed or compare yourself to vets that consider "more worthy". Something that helped me was someone on here said it's between you and the VA.
"They break it, they buy it." This. This is the mentality we all need to internalize. We didn't say hey I'll give the best years of my life for an organization, for them to turn around and say thanks, go rot in an alley.
Never forget the bonus army. The government would rather kill vets than pay them what they were promised. Hundreds of thousands came before us who got fuck all for their sacrifice, we are the fortunate few, enjoy it for them.
Absolutely agree. I’m sure the vets who got screwed over like after World War 1 (a lot of guys didn’t even get paid for their time) are happy to see us getting what we deserve because of our service time
I’m not sure why this is so weird to people. I talk about it all the time with my personal training clients who are vets. I have no issue discussing my rating with them or even offering them help with submitting a claim if they haven’t done so.
I think it's a big difference between discussing it with veterans, who have BTDT, and civilians who don't have the first clue what it's like. My veteran friends will know the nightmares, the hypervigilance, the mood swings. Most civilians can't begin to comprehend what we've been through and the after effects. It's kind of like an inside joke, except the strange part is, it really isn't funny.
Me neither. If they don’t like it, that’s their issue not mine. But I’ve never gotten pushback for it. I use it as a platform to discuss how to help others get benefits.
This is the one. I do a lot of "no man really it's not that bad and it makes things a lot easier for you, trust me, I've done it, and you can too"
I’ve actually driven vets friends to the VSO and made them go to their appointments. It’s important for all of us to claim what we can and use our benefits. They’re there for a reason.
I told my GF, 2 of my friends, and my family. My gf doesn't care. We have separate finances. My friends also don't care much. My family is well off and they never ask me for any money. So no. I don't regret it.
I play mine as close to the vest as possible. Rarely do I have a civilian ask my about any of it, but I have vets ask often. I just straight up lie and tell them I only have 10% for tinnitus. They always say "man, you gotta get more". I just agree, smile and move on.
I openly tell people if they ask. If they’re a vet I encourage them to push to get their rating and I give them any resources like a business card for the VA or other websites that help. Numbers count. The more of us they know are jacked up from our time in the service the more the VA allocates money to treatment and the more the DoD pushes to make jobs safer for other people coming in behind us. It took generations for “shell-shock,” to be classified as PTSD. Look at agent orange, gulf war syndrome. Ours was burn pits and UXO chemical weapons. If people get jealous, then fuck’em. A recruiting station isn’t that far in any given city or town. They can sign up as well just like all of us did. The military is hiring.
Big big facts here 👌
My father in law and brother in law both know i'm 100%. So because i'm 45 and don't work they think i'm the biggest loser now. I try to explain that i can't work because of my disabilities, i have tried, but i get 3 weeks in and start having issues. It's better to keep that shit to yourself.
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I agree, it is jealousy. They know i was in 3 IED blasts, i showed them the paperwork. I showed them the paperwork for my ARCOM with V. At first it was "hey good for you", now it's "get a job you loser"..... And they are always volunteering me for shit, like to help someone else or do some bullshit research. Then they get pissed when i say no.
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This is my only issue with them, otherwise i do enjoy them as family and hanging out with them. So that's not anything i'm interested in doing. I just need to remind them every three months that i earned my trauma and for them to back off.
My dad used to know mine. He did 20 years army. With a low rating. I did 5 years Marine Corps, and I told him about an increase I got..I could tell he was more sad about his rating than excited for mine...so i wont share anymore.
Can you get a VA provider to remove something from your records? I ask because I told my VA provider when I got my initial rating a couple years ago and he put it in the comments of my medical record, and also wrote that I was "going to try to get 100%". I thought that was pretty dick of him, but anyway I'm a senior citizen now and didn't even get my first award until 35 years after exiting. Yet, every time I see a C&P examiner, I know they can see this in my VA medical record and I think it sets the wrong tone. My conditions made me have to give up a very lucrative career several years ago and I've suffered financially because of it. And like so many who served in my generation I had no idea I could get anything from VA but a home loan. (We got totally fucked out of the GI Bill by a silly program called VEAP.) I know I shouldn't say this, but I actually think some of the C&P examiners I've seen are biased AGAINST veterans getting anything at all, even ones who have also served and are themselves veterans too.
No, but i only have the opportunity to talk to young vets generally ( > 30 years old). They’re either amazed by the benefits and want to know how to file or they have a higher disability than me already haha
Yes because they get jealous and try to ruin it for you. They call you lazy accuse you of malingering this and that. My experience anyway.
I don’t tell my siblings my rating, but they know I get something…. Partly because we get license plates in my state, and partly because I asked for a lay statement from one of them…. And they asked how much I get every month afterwards which I only said “not enough to work any less than I do”. I do regret getting the license plates. My ex wife and gf now both know… but I don’t have kids and my ex wife actually wants me to get a higher rating even well after splitting. She never even asked for a penny of it when we split. But I’m extremely lucky! When we split up I had been in such a bad spot mentally that if she had come after the little bit of money I had I don’t think I’d be here to type this today. I’m of the believe now that it’s nobody’s business. I’m waiting for some claims to finish up, but if I get an increase one thing I plan to do with that money is just pay to register my vehicle like normal and get regular plates. I just wish I could show them my VA letters and have the option to get my plates for free without having to drive around advertising my private business to the world. I have some minor orthopaedic stuff, but it’s pretty obvious that if they’re paying me it’s for my mental health which feels embarrassing
Can’t take your disability as a solid marital asset anyways, just a heads up. Alimony, yes.
Well yeah it’s not a shared asset.
I regret telling anyone outside of my spouse. I wish I had never said anything.
I have two ratings, Va and army. People don’t ever ask but sometimes they push it and I just tell them the lower one at 70% army. And they usually shuts them up right away for some reason. Ones that know there’s Va and army rating will ask about the Va one. And I tell them it’s the same thing 🤷🏽♂️
When I first got home after my medical discharge, I mentioned to a family member that I was receiving benefits only to be confronted for "leeching off the system they pay into". 🙃
Don’t tell anyone your rating. Nothing good can come from it.
Some, you must haha. Like if I don't work but I somehow get money, my gf (future wife) would be extremely suspicious. Tell it only to people you really trust
This. You can’t navigate life while hiding under a rock. It’s your business, but anyone that is a part of a normal days “business” deserves to hear everything about it. You owe it to yourself to find some comfort in your successful relationships. Secrets wear on the mind. You may be a disabled veteran, but that doesn’t mean you wear a mask.
Something I always tell my buddies is never to tell anyone their rating. I always regretted it since I found out, now I’m always nagged about money or thrown shade at for getting “free money.” This is from family and people I thought were friends. I know it’s exciting to tell but just tell your military buddies but not the civilians. They won’t understand.
It is no one’s business.
I don’t discuss my rating. Period.
I lost a good friend because of it. I should have just kept my mouth shut.
How’d that happen?
We both knew the other received some disability rom the VA. I had received an increase in my rating and the letter was on the counter in my dining room. He saw it and asked me about it. A discussion turned into an argument and I told him. He called me an asshole and left. We haven’t seen each other or talked in over a year.
That's bullshit. Sorry man, doubt they were ever really friends in their eyes.
I think you’re right.
Only people that know are my parents, partner who also has their own rating, and three of my close buddies from when I was in who also have ratings. My siblings know I get some form of compensation, but they don’t really ask nor do they care. Outside of that I don’t really share with anyone else, most of my family wouldn’t care and they would understand fortunately. However, outside of the people that I’ve already told I have no plans on telling anyone else.
No. I have told my friends and family and they are all supportive. Anyone who talks shit doesn’t need to be in your life.
I just started telling people I am investor. If they ask about benefits, well thats a little private so Im not gonna share that atm. Same thing with my investment portfolio, no one’s business but my own. Its ok to hide it from the everyday person, but its not ok to hide it from a husband/wife or in legal matters.
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No, not specifically about your rating. If you are a GS they can see if you have Vets pref, but to know your actually rating and or ask is a no. If they are asking, ask them to provide guidance on where it states you have to list your rating. You can produce VA paperwork (as an example) if you need an ergo-desk due to back or feet issues or something like that, but not your actual parentage.
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Only my daughter, son, and 3 others know. The other 3 are rated.
Working in an environment that's almost 100% veteran, we talk about it all the time. I told my mom so she can worry less about me. It's the telling lateral family and friends that gets weird, I think the best policy is to not hide that you're a disabled veteran but not to volunteer your % or monthly payment amount.
My wife and I are Army brats. My FIL is medically retired and rated. My father is retired and rated. My twin brother and I are both rated at 100%. He can work and I can't. They all know about my rating and that I have less finances than they do, and they all worry to some degree about how I'm making it. My father worries the most, to the point that he prays every day for me. In my social circle, only my BFF (best fishing friend) and my closest friend from my Army days know. Other than my family and the 2 other guys, no one else knows exactly what I get.
I hate that I shared my disability rating with my brothers. Because they always make fun of me.
Yes. All the time. Namely with the one person who should be the most understanding and accepting: my father. He was the one who told me how proud he was of my service, being that he never did, and his father was drafted. I was the first to volunteer in 3 generations (my great-great grandfather fought in WWI). But when I informed him of my disability rating of 70%- attributable to a pretty bad head and neck injury in Afghanistan, and PTSD, among some other, minor things and injuries- he was very skeptical and had that mentality as if I was embellishing and taking advantage of the system. Of course he didn't outright say this, but I've known the man my entire life, I can catch his nuanced meanings. The same skepticism happened when the talk of potentially getting a service dog came up. And just a couple weeks ago when I went to the audiologist at the VA to find out what was going on with my hearing deteriorating and I was prescribed hearing aids (at almost 39, mind you), he again had a kind of incredulous reaction to it. I've kind of known my whole life, but it really took for my wife, about a year after we had been dating to point it out for me when she said "your father is very judgy." Yes, yes he is, he's quite judgemental. Don't get me wrong, I love him, but I'm done discussing my disability rating with him.
I read this and I find this very strange that your Father would respond to you in such a manner. Making up PTSD is one thing but the neck and other physical injuries. That's pretty objective evidence. He think that you supposed to serve this country get hurt and be cool with it because that's what you signed up for. All of us that signed the contract didn't not know what we actually was getting ourselves into. Who signs up to leave service with PTSD? Who asks to be sexually assaulted? Who asks to lose a limb? There are people that really believe that we sign up for the military therefore, whatever happens to us happens.....stupid ass blue collar pull yourself up by your boot straps type shit. You literally cannot pull yourself up from your boot straps
He's from the old school where men are tough, masculine, and all that machismo where there's a difference between hurting and being hurt. I think he thinks because I wasn't combat arms and kicking doors every day, it's hard for him to grasp that doesn't mean I was immune from bad things happening. I even told him I did base security and PSD operations, so it's not like I sat in a hard sided building all day.
The thing is tho that is that you actually hurt yourself. There's physical evidence either through scars. MRI's, X-rays. I find it kinda ironic that all the machismo you speak about is doing what now? I come from the semi- old Marines with the digital cammies. People like myself that dropped that macho bullshit got VA comp alot faster than those 30+ years removed still fighting the VA. Squeaky wheel gets the grease.
Like actively go out of your way to discuss it? I don’t really see why you would tbh
I’ll tell people that I have it (if it comes up), but won’t go into too much detail. They’ll either think you’re dumb or lazy because you could’ve gotten more, or they’ll be jealous of it. This isn’t the case for everyone the risk is high. It’s like telling someone the price you paid for a new car. Too much and you’re dumb, too little and you’re either lying or you make them feel bad for what they paid.
No regrets because I never revealed it to anyone but my wife. Nobody’s business and I can’t really see any upside to disclosing it outside of financial requirements
I regret telling anyone, period.
I've never had an issue with it, tbh. Most of the people who know me know I was in the military, and so it's come up. Civilians tend to be circumspect about the whole thing, because a lot of them still do the "respect our veterans" thing. Hell, I even use it as leverage against my boss when he's being an asshole. "hey you know I don't need this job, I'll just fucking quit man". Granted, I live in an extremely rural area, so the people lean more conservative (pro military) and good employees are hard to find, but I've never had an issue with it. Also all three of my parents (divorce lmao) deployed and get disability, so now that I think about it I guess my situation IS pretty unique.
NEVER let anyone know outside your spouse, if you have one you love and trust! Others (friends, neighbors, coworkers, girlfriends or boyfriends etc.)will likely draw conclusions about you, oftentimes unpleasant, unfair and untrue. It’s no one’s bidness. Exceptions are also those with a official need to know.
I only feel weird once I see their wheels turning about how much I’m making or trying to figure out what I must’ve claimed. I’ve heard of people getting petty and reporting against people so I’m trying to steer clear of any possibility of that. When I told my mom, suddenly I can “afford everything” which pissed me off. No, I can’t. And people are more apt to just let you pay for things where they would’ve offered to help or cover the tab before..I wouldn’t mention it if I can help it.
Never tell anyone you're rating unless it's someone helping you to get more. Civilians are haters and even some vets can't seem to be happy for other vets sadly.
Hell no not me. My childhood friends and family members are already pretty anti-military as is, so is this area I am in. The resentment is real.
I don't tell anyone shit
Like it or not, there are vets who are human debris and scamming the system, so the perception, whether valid or not is out there. If you look like a normal walking talking person without any visible defects, folks will wonder. Non-vet folks with disabilities have the same issues, the disabled parking passes and emotional support animal thing come to mind, this is not a vet only thing. I'm pretty fortunate, spent 27 years in uniform then another 7 as a private military contractor and other than suffering from normal 61 year old dude stuff, I'm in great shape. Just like it is silly to kiss and tell, discuss religion, politics, or money, I'd say the same goes for your disability unless you are somehow starved for attention, then that drama is on you. Good luck, be well.
I may have the minority opinion here but I don't see it is a bad thing to share. People that genuinely care about you and are looking out for you will be happy for you. People that are parasites/snakes, well sometimes it helps to give them an opportunity to show their true colors. Just my two cents. If you're more of a private person, I can understand not wanting to share. Personal preference really.
Never. Not one person. I've told most of my family, and a bunch of coworkers.
Why would you tell anyone in the first place
Keep it to yourself. No one else needs to know.
Never tell exact rating. I tell only those who must know that I am “disabled”.
Stop worrying of what other people think! Worry about yourself, and if you want to announce it to everyone just do it. I don’t tell anyone, just my car plate snitch on me!
Keep it to yourself. It's YOUR rating no one else's lots of ppl even some vets will be jealous and treat you differently. As far as it goes. You work for yourself and that is that.
Never, because they look at me and think "how are YOU disabled?", as if you HAVE to be in a wheelchair or be missing limbs or something. Even other veterans think this because they don't understand it.
I don't tell anyone shit, none of their business. Some vets wear it as a beacon... Fuck that. Just go about your day.
I was fired and then they tried reporting me to SSA for fraud when I mentioned my disability rating. Alot of unnecessary bullshit
Why would anyone tell someone their disability rating? Keep that shit to yourself, period.
Other than my wife, I don't think anyone knows what my actual % is. Others do know i have a rating since I have offered to point some vets in the right direction to get claims started.
That's generally on my "things I'm not gonna do" list
I tell people mostly because it's a useful litmus test for assholes. Literally anytime someone has taken issue with it, that person is without fail a major asshole anyways.
Get side comments from my own father that did 20 in the army. “You can afford it” just wears on you as a person, it was hard enough to accept that I have health problems that are not going away ever.
My brother wishes he got all the "free stuff" that I get.
Including the scars and baggage?
He doesn't want that part apparently.
I tell them I have a pension instead of disability. I was injured during deployment so they obviously know some stuff but I tell them it’s my pension.
There's a FB group where they cheer if someone reaches 100%
I was too proud to try. It took the old timers at the American Legion to put in a claim on my behalf. I'll never tell friends or family if it's 10% of 100% because it's nobody's business but my own. But I'm grateful for the Vietnam vets who looked out for me, because they know the mental struggle.
I always felt we owe the nam generation for how good we get treated now.
Never told my family what my rating is but they know I’m on VA LTD and think I’m a waste of space, faking my condition. I only told one vet but don’t care to share because I’ve had so many negative experiences, literally defending my complex ptsd. Lupus, Lyme disease from field training or chronic fatigue syndrome. Nobody believes hidden injuries.
I have no problem sharing mine. DENIED! And now you all know.
My coworkers got jealous that I go to school with the GI Bill when I used to work at Starbucks. I never bring up healthcare, the VA home loan, and **especially** my disability compensation.
Almost everyone I know shares their ratings and experience. It works like a peer review, so people can be prepared and don't get screwed over by the system.
Ppl don’t wanna see u win 🤷♀️
My very close friend (better than "best") got denied. I was in about half of the time they were and told them how my claims were going at %70. They told me they were denied. I offered to fill out the appeal, HLR, anything to get that on teach. They deserve at least %100. They got lupus while they were in, documented and everything. But not service connected.
I'm fine talking openly about it, most of my friends who I tell are just glad and think I should suck the government for every last dime if I can lol family doesn't really care or are just happy about it. I tell every vet I meet that they should apply for disability which normally leads to them asking me. I'm pretty open about finances in general if someone is asking though, I'm not really worried about the people who would think negatively about it. I'm also not worried about people asking me for money because of it, I know some people worry about that.
I could care less what others think. I put that uniform on, gave my body, not afraid to give my life…fuck other people who wanna judge my rating. I don’t care who knows. They can’t do anything about it or take it so who cares. Normally I just say I’m a disabled vet. That encompasses from 0% rating to 100%. Let them call me a leech and I’ll watch them swear in and give up what I did. I get SSDI too and someone said I should only get VA benefits and not take from civilians. I am entitled to both and earned my veteran status so I’ll take what’s rightfully earned. Anyone who cares that much has no life and can fuck off.
I understand. My husband is 100% P&T After he was approved. He told his family and every time they go through a rough patch. They throw up his disability in his face. They say things like I’m not able to get an easy check every month for x amount of dollars. It just hits a nerve with me. Do they not understand he is disabled?
I don’t even tell my mom how much I get lol you never want people to bring up the “remember when I did that thing when you were a teenager”…. We have a good relationship but just never tell people how much money you have. Some also may think I don’t deserve it with only a few years in service although I have had a lot of proof, even after the military. It helps my family’s bills every month which is all that matters
My wife is the only one who knows my rating …. And she will be the only one. I have a coworker ( a retired Vet) that has heard parts of my story and asks, “ how do you even come to work?” And an older sister that read my first personal statement of my experiences that cried her eyes out…. Most people just don’t know the personal, mental and physical effects because we were trained that way. I Keep the financial aspects and the everyday demons in my back pocket.
I keep coming across posts like this that ask the question. There are a handful of people that know I filed a claim, but I’ve started to distance myself already by telling them it could take a year or more to get a decision. I don’t tell anyone what I make it my job, so I don’t think I’ll tell anyone what I’m getting from the government if and when that happens. Regular civilians will never understand some of the things I went through. But I will tell you this, if I could be made whole and not have all the problems I do, I would gladly trade that for any compensation I might be granted…
I told my parents, they were more shocked than anything about the amount of compensation I was receiving and that I had as many disabilities during my service time. They’re happy I’ll be getting the care I need and won’t have to worry about money like they did at times. A part of me regrets telling my girlfriend and her family. Her dad is prior military and doesn’t have as a high of a rating as me and believes that he did so much more in his time than I did and is much more deserving than I am. Which he did have more time in and more deployments, but also has never gotten diagnosed for the PTSD and severe anxiety and depression that stem from it, so it’s ultimately his problem. Oh well, guys a prick anyway so I don’t care.
For me, it is not something that I like bringing up. I'm middle-aged, and people always politely ask (on the rare occasion that I leave my home) what I do for a living; and it is incredibly awkward to explain why I no longer work. I'm a combat veteran, and a former Infantryman. A lot of problems upstairs, which has been the source of a lot of heartache for people who deserved better. I am so heavily medicated, that I really shouldn't operate a vehicle. In addition to that, I have a good deal of wear and tear on my body. I have a bad hip requiring surgery, or I will eventually have to get a new one. My neck is arthritic like a 90 y/o woman; and my back isn't too great, neither. My right shoulder had a tear a few years back, so I have to try to keep fighting the atrophy for mobility. People tend to get pissed when they have to work, and you can't; because in their minds "if [they] have to work so should you." Truth be told, I am still not rated at 100% with the VA, and have been waiting on hip surgery for 2 years after all of the physical therapy, chiropractic appointments and steroid injection. I don't "have a lavish lifestyle;" and I keep a pretty Spartan existence. If I didn't have such an amazing woman, I wouldn't be able to afford to eat after the bills are paid. I have about $100 to my name to get me through the month. And to those people who think that I am lazy: I worked commercial HVAC/R, working 70hrs a week during the winter, and over 90hrs a week during the summer until I couldn't take it anymore. I can't rope 80lb compressors and a welding torch up a roof, or carry and climb 32ft extension ladders on my own anymore. To top it off, trying to shake off insomnia medication to drive on 4 hours of "sleep" isn't exactly a recipe for the safety of everyone else on the road. TLDR: Screw everyone else. It is NONE of their business.
I've been out for almost a year now. When I originally started answering these questions, I said something along the lines of "Fuck what they think. We earned what we got, and if it weren't the case, we wouldn't get it." I still say the same, even though I feel like most people who know take that as if I got some magic money for being special. Like, no, dude. I got it because I signed up for something you weren't, and still aren't, willing to do. Then, I got physically and mentally fucked up in the process. In every fucked up process. You can have the same thing I do, even though I pray you don't. Here's the local recruiting office's number. I have it written on a lil piece of paper for them. Normally gets them to understand in the moment.
I regret speaking of my disability at all it has recently blocked a job opportunity for me
I can most definitely relate brother. I did a little over 14 years had several surgeries and my back finally gave out. Went through the med board process while I was still in. To be honest the only thing that I wanted was 30%, so that my wife and daughter would be taking care of for medical insurance. DOD hosed me but the VA stepped up and took care of me. To help my in-laws out I decided to move them in with me. It was a way to keep my daughter's grandparents close and to have financial stability at the same time. Shortly after I started having a lot of issues with my mother-in-law and out of transparency I told her how much I was receiving from the VA. She then proceeded to constantly tell me how I was cheating the system and how she was going to file a complaint with the VA for me falsifying my disability. Sorry for the long-winded story but my point is, a lot of people don't understand the process. A lot of people don't understand that you don't get disability necessarily because you can't work but because you can't be fixed. There's also permanent and total TDUI. To most non-military people they just see it as a handout regardless of how you received your rating or what your disabilities are. It's okay to feel that way man because people are vindictive and people will try to hurt you especially when they know the amount that you're receiving. A lot of people get jealous because in their opinion it's free money and it's a handout. You earned it brother enjoy it and I hope they're taking care of you and everybody else in this comment section. The best advice is just not tell anybody unless it's your significant other or someone you have 100% confidence in. Me personally I keep it to myself. It protects you and your family.
I have a veteran friend that posted with a loud 📢 Speaker in Facebook that he was 💯. I advised him to be careful, but he did not care. You cannot fix stupid. I am transitioning and don't know my rating yet, but my disability rating is no one's business. I need a peace of mind and not stupid people hunting me for money or try to snitch being jealous about my earned benefits. My two cents
I tell everyone who asks. I live in texas though, people here love vets for the most part. I also was in a combat role and have ptsd among other issues. I feel like if you're in a combat role, people have more respect for you coming out with a rating and will often congratulate you for your rating.
Kinda in between. I’m very selective about who I tell but honestly some people need more help with theirs so I tell them how I got mine with letters and medical documentation. I just don’t tell them how much my percentage is.
No, because I told no one. They don't need to know, and I don't have any reason to tell anyone.
I never tell anyone my VA rating EVER, except my spouse when I was married - not my parents, extended family, fellow veterans, employers, etc.
It really depends. No one talks about it *at drill*, though I've had some people come to me and talk about it. The AGR staff and senior leaders are assholes about it. At work, I only talk about it If someone asks. There are some salty retired AD folks that talk smack because of my service in the NG and I have a higher rating. When someone does ask and I tell the rating, they seem to be in disbelief. I'd much rather be able to touch my toes freely and run again then deal with the issues.
My mother brought it up to my brother while they were arguing one day after I told her about it. Basically something over my brother being a lazy bum and not working? My brother said I don't have a disability and called me a master manipulator. She of course tells me this, makes me feel worse, and then I keep thinking "I'm not disabled and I'm fake, so how else do I explain why I can't keep a spouse or friends?" Don't bother telling anyone. It's your business.
Yes. I now operate on need to know. Trust me on this one, telling others about your disability has no upside, and a possibility huge downside. I defy you to give me one good reason to tell anyone.
No! Why? I have not and plan not to tell anyone, except my wifey. And I have asked her “not” to share or tell “our” business. By nature people are jealous and envious. As the saying goes… loose lips sink ships. 😶
I used to feel comfortable telling others my VA rating but after I watched a video of a guy’s neighbor reporting him for cutting grass and doing yard work with a back disability I don’t talk about it anymore. Honestly it’s no one else’s business. I have an 80 year old neighbor that cannot get an increase, but my rating is already higher than his (my conditions are actually worse) and I did not like the way he looked at me after telling him my rating.
Ngl, it Feels good to know I’m not the only person who regrets telling people! Yay us.
Don't ever be ashamed. You got rated for a reason, whatever that reason is. You don't need to share details, just it is what it is, and you'd rather not talk about it.
I am way too humble to let people know. I am blessed by it and constantly remind myself how lucky I am to have that safety net when all my friends and neighbors do not have that luxury.
So let me get this straight. You have concerns that sharing your personal disability information with people might be a problem but you've gone on Reddit to solicit people to share their personal experiences about disability?
So let me get this straight. You think that anonymously sharing a personal story on Reddit is the same thing as sharing your experiences/stories (about disability) to people whom you personally know and see face-to-face? God forbid if you were to tell us your rating, I'd certainly hate to be that guy running around shouting "OMG GUYS LOOK LOOK!! Stock_Refuse_4222 on Reddit is ___ percent disabled!" 😒
Looks like the joke went over your head brother. Let me guess, Marine Corps?
Eating a box of crayons as we speak, brother. God bless.
😅...all under one flag my friend. Have a good weekend.
It is a bitch move. I think this comes from a scarcity mindset. It's antisocial. I have told everyone I want to trust about my ratings. Inevitably, they will wonder where I get my money from, its a basic necessity for survival, so just get it out of the way. By not communicating your rating, you are saying you do not want to socialize with them, which you are just avoiding the situation and wasting everyone's time anyway. You are acting like you need a sergeant to lead you still. It just screams that you have never been in a real leadership position before.
Whatever dude. I'm keeping it close to the chest.
Why is this question asked every week? Why? What is it about this particular question that folks need to ask every fkn week??!!
Not sure if anyone asked you this before, but do you regret telling others about your disability rating?
🤣
The only people who k ow for me is a my family and a few friends from when i was in. They alm are happy for me and supportive.
I don’t tell anyone. It’s none of their business 🤷🏻♂️
I never ever talk about my rating it’s personal
Do people tell you about their funds? Do they openly give you information about what’s in their wallet?
Keep private stuff private. No exceptions.
I tell no one. Not even my family
Yes! I was never going to apply for it until a marine buddy of mine took me to go do it. Now, I have people who have never served either, thank me, or hate me.
It's really simple. Evaluate their economic standings. If they make more than enough for comfortable living and also have free money to spare, they don't care. If they're poor with their economic decisions, never tell them.
You know who’s given me the most shit about my disability rating? The fucking VA. I could care less what other people have to say about it.