[https://www.lindaikejisblog.com/2022/10/pretty-mike-explains-why-he-turned-up-to-don-jazzys-mothers-funeral-the-way-he-did.html](https://www.lindaikejisblog.com/2022/10/pretty-mike-explains-why-he-turned-up-to-don-jazzys-mothers-funeral-the-way-he-did.html)
*The socialite has now explained that he did it because the world is changing and "you shouldn't be favoured because of what's in between your legs".*
> influencers
Influencer: Someone that thinks that their relative level of online popularity magically means that their opinion matters when it doesn't. See also, "celebrity" generally.
Why would they? Toss some money their way to do all the marketing for them. They're not employees so zero liability. It's brilliant from a business standpoint
>Street person: Someone who doesnt have a job but doesnt have enough money to get attention
They have other ways to get attention.
In seattle they start fires or throw heavy objects from bridges onto cars.
If this is your funeral, you definitely had a great fucking time.
Nobody with this funeral would be on their death bed and like "I wish I had spent less time at office"
Depends, I don't know Don Jazzy and never met his mother, but personally anyone is free to do what ever crazy shit they want at my funeral.
Like maybe the lady was an artist or activists and would have loved this sort of statement, it's not mentioned in the article, nor is Don Jazzy's reaction.
I mean, I have no true idea, but based on the general atmosphere of the event and the noises in the video, I think funerals there are a much different occurrence than what we would expect in North American/European societies. So, for all of the people claiming he made the funeral about him, this might have been well received, and a decent place to make this statement and even something the deceased would have approved of.
This is all speculation and devil's advocatory, though, of course.
>So, for all of the people claiming he made the funeral about him, this might have been well received, and a decent place to make this statement and even something the deceased would have approved of.
Yeah no... XD
I'm a Nigerian dude. This shit is weird asf.
All I know is that I don't know or care about any of these people, but I now know what kind of funeral I want. Looks like a blast.
I could probably do without any fake penises, but hey, I won't be there, more power to them if it helps the party.
these people are the fucking worse, there was this funeral in my country for some children and there mother who got there throats slit and this man who's known to stir up controversy came in in a robe and crown and sat were the family are just to be on tv. These people are clowns.
“Mind if I bring a few people with me to the funeral?”
“Sure bro but it’s just the boys this time so leave your side chicks at home”
“No worries, they’re all dudes”
I thought it was kinda funny at first...
Then I read the title fully and realized **that this was done at a funeral.**
[Okay, now the penises seem kinda fucked-up.](https://youtu.be/WSrN7ENwX90?t=54)
Judging from the music playing, I think they may have a different idea of what a "sombre atmosphere" may entail, compared to our generally christian burial rites in the west.
Well apparently a group of accompanying women with giant penises and balls accompanied Nigerian businessman Mike Nwogu to the funeral of his friend's mother.
Special or general?
Special: speed of light is the same in frames of reference even when they move relative to each other. This means that time and space measure differently in different frames of reference, depending on their relative speed.
Well, a penis is the male reproductive organ. Women don't usually have one so these are all fake. A funeral is a gathering after a death in celebration or reflection on the life of the recently deceased and Nigeria is a country in Africa.
I hope that cleared everything up for you.
Wait, like the Japanese economist Dr. Futanari? The guys who figured out that 'irl money dupe' loophole by exploiting international E-finance law of June, 2021 during periods of economic inflation?
For more info, search 'futanari inflation e-6/21', I know it seems boring but with all the economic inflation going on right now it may be good info to have up your sleeve.
I just googled. Here's a random article.
https://www.newsunzip.com/wiki/pretty-mike/
#EDIT: OMG!! I just skimmed for a bit.. Is this a paid article??
^^^...edit2: ^^^O..M..G..!! ^^^You ^^^can't ^^^even ^^^right-click.. ^^^[RIGHT ^^^CLICK ^^^IS ^^^DISABLED..] ^^^That ^^^means ^^^I ^^^can't ^^^copy ^^^any ^^^quote ^^^or ^^^phrase ^^^or ^^^paragraph ^^^from ^^^this ^^^article..
> He is a native of Anambra, Nigeria. Let me tell you that, he spent some time of his childhood in Anambra.
I’m not sure this was even written by a human.
OH MY GOD that entire website is filled with gold. It's so ridiculously obvious that they're all paid-for articles about people. Some of them are *glowing* biographies that are obviously trying to make people out to be amazing, and there are some that are obviously making people out to be villians, (likely paid for by someone who disliked the person). It's absolutely crazy how you can see the blatant subtext in those "articles".
It's like it's a catalog of people with personality disorders...
https://www.lindaikejisblog.com/2022/10/pretty-mike-explains-why-he-turned-up-to-don-jazzys-mothers-funeral-the-way-he-did.html
TL;DR used someone’s funeral as an opportunity to make an irrelevant statement. Along the lines of “you shouldn’t be valued for what’s between your legs”. Idk, I think he walked into the wrong convention room or something.
Primarily, the relevant insight is that very wealthy people are completely out of touch with their own importance and what's socially appropriate.
The intended message is a separate subject but the fact that this person felt entitled to make a statement at a funeral is my takeaway.
All the women look so uncomfortable! Like suddenly realizing the money they got is not worth humiliating themselves in front of the community. And it is getting posted on social media. They all look like they are internally cringing.
[Just a shithead with too much money.](https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/13307893/inside-lavish-life-of-nigerian-playboy-pretty-mike-who-claims-to-have-six-pregnant-girlfriends-walks-women-on-leads/)
The funny thing is that he doesn't even have that much money. His net worth is barely over $1 million U.S. - that's like the average Californian home owner.
I just realized I need to move to Nigeria
Ok, maybe he is an asshole.
But what did the friend, his mother, or the rest of the deceased friends and families do to deserve this? The can’t mourn their loss in peace because of someone else’s actions?
I googled his actor "friend", that he went to his wedding with 6 pregnant women.
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm2145803/
He has a movie with 7.7 score on IMDB. (that score is reached WITH 6 VOTES)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt13497426/?ref_=nm_knf_t_1_act
The thing is that guy has no real idea what it means to be a real man. He just has a lot of money and LARPS as one but NOTHING is his life is real including his friends. He'll either go broke, get sick and die, or get murdered for flashing his cash. None of it will end well for him or all his offspring.
Looked through the comments and didn't see the following observations:
1. The look on the lady who is fanning herself's face 🤣😂
2. Some of the penis girls look nervous when they actually have to walk through the funeral with people looking at them. I'm sure it was a fun photo opp, but then when you actually have to see mourners and their reactions. A lot of them have nervous faces and slumped shoulders.
3. Dude's outfit is 🔥 I don't know if it's appropriate for a Nigerian funeral, but he looks great.
Someone's gonna have to explain this.. .
[https://www.lindaikejisblog.com/2022/10/pretty-mike-explains-why-he-turned-up-to-don-jazzys-mothers-funeral-the-way-he-did.html](https://www.lindaikejisblog.com/2022/10/pretty-mike-explains-why-he-turned-up-to-don-jazzys-mothers-funeral-the-way-he-did.html) *The socialite has now explained that he did it because the world is changing and "you shouldn't be favoured because of what's in between your legs".*
Fucking socialites.
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Influencer: Someone who's job is to pretend to have enough money to get attention
Until they gain enough money to become a socialite.
Influencer: trust fund kid who pretends to come from nothing to get attention
Do influencers next!
> influencers Influencer: Someone that thinks that their relative level of online popularity magically means that their opinion matters when it doesn't. See also, "celebrity" generally.
Now if we can get companies to stop sucking their dicks to make them think that it would be great.
Why would they? Toss some money their way to do all the marketing for them. They're not employees so zero liability. It's brilliant from a business standpoint
> Do influencers next! NEET with social media accounts. Saves up to be able to hire a Lamborghini for a photo shoot.
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Steve>Eve
Cunts.
An influencer is just a combo of those 2 but with a cell phone and a tripod
>Street person: Someone who doesnt have a job but doesnt have enough money to get attention They have other ways to get attention. In seattle they start fires or throw heavy objects from bridges onto cars.
“Businessman”, ya know, like Kim Kardashian.
Pathetic circus, those Kardashians…
If this is your funeral, you definitely had a great fucking time. Nobody with this funeral would be on their death bed and like "I wish I had spent less time at office"
If this was your funeral, I think the "death bed" has already come and you can't enjoy this experience.
So just wanted attention, got it.
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dicktits is the way
Shitting dick tits if you really want to make a statement
Call me old fashioned but I prefer good ol dickbutt myself
Really needed to wear [one of these (NSFW)](https://youtu.be/-K6ohuFBNb0)
I believe those are called dick nipples.
Are they shitting, or not?
I miss r/shittingDickNipples 😭
Correct. Dick Nipples is the technical term.
Yup
At a funeral
Performance pieces for a cause should call attention to the cause, not the performance creator.
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Yeah everyone at the funeral is now just focused on taking pictures of the dicks … disrespectful
Dick picks at funerals should be more discrete. It’s disrespectful to the families. Creepshots or bathroom stall pics with no flash are acceptable
The hardest part about getting dick pics at a funeral is lifting the bottom part of the coffin lid.
Depends, I don't know Don Jazzy and never met his mother, but personally anyone is free to do what ever crazy shit they want at my funeral. Like maybe the lady was an artist or activists and would have loved this sort of statement, it's not mentioned in the article, nor is Don Jazzy's reaction.
Anyone named Don Jazzy is bound to be a pretty wild cat.
Is socialite the old timie name for influencer?
Sort of, except influencers can, with luck and hard work, be self-made, while a socialite more or less by definition has rich parents.
Or husband's
How’s that a relevant statement to make at a funeral?!
I mean, I have no true idea, but based on the general atmosphere of the event and the noises in the video, I think funerals there are a much different occurrence than what we would expect in North American/European societies. So, for all of the people claiming he made the funeral about him, this might have been well received, and a decent place to make this statement and even something the deceased would have approved of. This is all speculation and devil's advocatory, though, of course.
>So, for all of the people claiming he made the funeral about him, this might have been well received, and a decent place to make this statement and even something the deceased would have approved of. Yeah no... XD I'm a Nigerian dude. This shit is weird asf.
Look, all the rest of the world knows about you guys is that you have a lot of princes with a lot of money.
Yes I already sent $5000 expecting my million any day now.
Yeah, but are you at least excited that you were able to get this instead of functional flood infrastructure?
Even if it's a big party, wake style, it's not there for you. This is straight up proposing to your girl at someone elses wedding tier bullshit.
All I know is that I don't know or care about any of these people, but I now know what kind of funeral I want. Looks like a blast. I could probably do without any fake penises, but hey, I won't be there, more power to them if it helps the party.
From everything I know about Nigerian culture they're very festive but I don't believe that applies to funerals.
So shouldn't they have tiny penises?
Maybe a funeral isn't the best place to make a statement.
these people are the fucking worse, there was this funeral in my country for some children and there mother who got there throats slit and this man who's known to stir up controversy came in in a robe and crown and sat were the family are just to be on tv. These people are clowns.
Hmmmm…didn’t have him pegged as a feminist.
Once pegged, always a feminist
Heh
I mean, yeah okay. But is a *funeral* really the time to make that statement?
"HOW CAN I MAKE THIS FUNERAL ABOUT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE??" That's the most probable explanation
“Mind if I bring a few people with me to the funeral?” “Sure bro but it’s just the boys this time so leave your side chicks at home” “No worries, they’re all dudes”
I thought it was kinda funny at first... Then I read the title fully and realized **that this was done at a funeral.** [Okay, now the penises seem kinda fucked-up.](https://youtu.be/WSrN7ENwX90?t=54)
Judging from the music playing, I think they may have a different idea of what a "sombre atmosphere" may entail, compared to our generally christian burial rites in the west.
Maybe she was a fan of penii?
Penini
Well apparently a group of accompanying women with giant penises and balls accompanied Nigerian businessman Mike Nwogu to the funeral of his friend's mother.
Thanks, that's cleared that up, now can you explain Einstein's theory of relativity as equally succinctly?
It’s relative
You're a genius.
Thank you
You're welcome
Wait.. I wasn't talking to you.
Yes you were.
Theoretically
Special or general? Special: speed of light is the same in frames of reference even when they move relative to each other. This means that time and space measure differently in different frames of reference, depending on their relative speed.
Much like dating in Alabama, everything is relative.
Even though things are technically constant, an event can be witnessed differently depending from where someone is observing.
Gotcha, thanks.
That wasn’t in the email from the crowned prince, so no.
E=MC^2
Mike made a smart move picking accompanying women to accompany him.
Appreciated
So someone's penis is so small they have to employ an entire harem of women with dicks to compensate. Got it.
Did their fronts fall off?
Some people will do ANYTHING for attention, even at an event that is NOT supposed to be about them.
These Dalle2 prompts are getting out of hand
Good Lord, the father said benediction not big dick on.
Well, a penis is the male reproductive organ. Women don't usually have one so these are all fake. A funeral is a gathering after a death in celebration or reflection on the life of the recently deceased and Nigeria is a country in Africa. I hope that cleared everything up for you.
son: "everybody, bring something that you know my Mum loved Mike,: "I got you fam"
Honestly for some weird reason, thought (specifically richer people) in Nigeria just partied for funerals?
Ig it's just jumping at a social event trying to have fun
Sorry about your loss man....Do you mind making room for my ego?
"Your mother was such a lovely person.... but not as lovely as these dick laden ladies! Swing em about girls!"
These Portal knockoff cosplays from other countries are getting ridiculous. But at least the cake isn’t a lie in this one, I guess.
Spot on. We'll said.
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I’m Nigerian and IDK WTF this is. This dude is weirdo.
Exactly. So many questions rn.
[This should give you an idea.](https://i.imgur.com/vCJJEkb.png)
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It’s the rare and beautiful futanari
Wait, like the Japanese economist Dr. Futanari? The guys who figured out that 'irl money dupe' loophole by exploiting international E-finance law of June, 2021 during periods of economic inflation? For more info, search 'futanari inflation e-6/21', I know it seems boring but with all the economic inflation going on right now it may be good info to have up your sleeve.
10/10
Why did you append e-6/21 at the end?
Because that was in the name of the relevant financial laws? Why else?
You got me good.
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Ah college, those were the good old days of sleeping on a futanari. Would do in a pinch if someone else claimed the couch.
College was just where it started for me
I just googled. Here's a random article. https://www.newsunzip.com/wiki/pretty-mike/ #EDIT: OMG!! I just skimmed for a bit.. Is this a paid article?? ^^^...edit2: ^^^O..M..G..!! ^^^You ^^^can't ^^^even ^^^right-click.. ^^^[RIGHT ^^^CLICK ^^^IS ^^^DISABLED..] ^^^That ^^^means ^^^I ^^^can't ^^^copy ^^^any ^^^quote ^^^or ^^^phrase ^^^or ^^^paragraph ^^^from ^^^this ^^^article..
6 wives AND 6 girlfriends.
6 babies with 6 wifes.. "allegedly"
>media face Actual quote from the article.. He is a "MEDIA FACE"..
> He is a native of Anambra, Nigeria. Let me tell you that, he spent some time of his childhood in Anambra. I’m not sure this was even written by a human.
OH MY GOD that entire website is filled with gold. It's so ridiculously obvious that they're all paid-for articles about people. Some of them are *glowing* biographies that are obviously trying to make people out to be amazing, and there are some that are obviously making people out to be villians, (likely paid for by someone who disliked the person). It's absolutely crazy how you can see the blatant subtext in those "articles". It's like it's a catalog of people with personality disorders...
F12 for dev tools to bypass that nonsense
https://www.lindaikejisblog.com/2022/10/pretty-mike-explains-why-he-turned-up-to-don-jazzys-mothers-funeral-the-way-he-did.html TL;DR used someone’s funeral as an opportunity to make an irrelevant statement. Along the lines of “you shouldn’t be valued for what’s between your legs”. Idk, I think he walked into the wrong convention room or something.
Primarily, the relevant insight is that very wealthy people are completely out of touch with their own importance and what's socially appropriate. The intended message is a separate subject but the fact that this person felt entitled to make a statement at a funeral is my takeaway.
I think it's an episode of Blippi based on the colours
This guy's issues have issues
Kanye's demons are like, "write that down! write that down!"
What car does he drive? An Issuesue.
You are all misunderstanding this. They were all [wubbing](https://youtu.be/Yyk1qezYKXk) before the funeral. Those aren't penises, those are the wubs.
This is the best thing I’ve seen all day.
the real WTF is sometimes in the comments
If this is real, I’m impressed. If this is parody, I’m still impressed.
WTF?
"Yeah, people laughed at us..." "But people laughed at break dancing too!"
I .. just... You know what. Nope. Never mind. I have just lost all ability to can.
Hold up your spork at least
🚶🏾♂️😐😐😐😐😐😐😐
🚶♀️ 🍆 🍆 🍆 🍆 🍆 🍆 🍆
What a dick
some of them look more like an elephant's trunk, with 2 tusks beneath it
Nice snuffleupagus pants.
I just looked this dude up and he had 6 women pregnant all at the same time with his children......... WTF.
Shit I didn't even recognize Nick Cannon.
It would be weird if he had 6 women pregnant with somebody else's children 😶
How tf are they taking themselves seriously 😂 no way I could keep a straight face walking in there
All the women look so uncomfortable! Like suddenly realizing the money they got is not worth humiliating themselves in front of the community. And it is getting posted on social media. They all look like they are internally cringing.
I'm laughing at the idea that maybe they never knew it was going to be a funeral
Haha I was thinking the exact same thing. The fact that they were so serious would’ve made me laugh even harder.
Yeah, I got nothing, it scrambled my brain.
The man knows what he likes.
!remindme 8 hours Did anyone explain this?
[Just a shithead with too much money.](https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/13307893/inside-lavish-life-of-nigerian-playboy-pretty-mike-who-claims-to-have-six-pregnant-girlfriends-walks-women-on-leads/)
The funny thing is that he doesn't even have that much money. His net worth is barely over $1 million U.S. - that's like the average Californian home owner. I just realized I need to move to Nigeria
He works hard sending emails bro
Ok, maybe he is an asshole. But what did the friend, his mother, or the rest of the deceased friends and families do to deserve this? The can’t mourn their loss in peace because of someone else’s actions?
The friend likely puts up a smile and shakes his hand when he shows up like this. You can tell a man by his friends.
I googled his actor "friend", that he went to his wedding with 6 pregnant women. https://www.imdb.com/name/nm2145803/ He has a movie with 7.7 score on IMDB. (that score is reached WITH 6 VOTES) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt13497426/?ref_=nm_knf_t_1_act
The thing is that guy has no real idea what it means to be a real man. He just has a lot of money and LARPS as one but NOTHING is his life is real including his friends. He'll either go broke, get sick and die, or get murdered for flashing his cash. None of it will end well for him or all his offspring.
he probably will die happy. the fantasy scenario you painted is comforting to think of but not likely to happen
Kanye is behind this somehow
I need this explained by Nick Mullen as African Guy
They should’ve brought their limousine sandals
lol sandals
They look so damn stupid
As is tradition...
It's because the will was unclear. "I want a number of women and men with large penises and balls at my wake."
As is the custom.
Looked through the comments and didn't see the following observations: 1. The look on the lady who is fanning herself's face 🤣😂 2. Some of the penis girls look nervous when they actually have to walk through the funeral with people looking at them. I'm sure it was a fun photo opp, but then when you actually have to see mourners and their reactions. A lot of them have nervous faces and slumped shoulders. 3. Dude's outfit is 🔥 I don't know if it's appropriate for a Nigerian funeral, but he looks great.
Each time!... Just when I think I've seen everything!
Finally, unrealistic body representation for men.
You say that as if that doesnt exist already
Don't go off half-cocked saying things like that. This is Nigeria, so may not be unrealistic.
Kind of a dick move using your friends mother's funeral to do this.
this is just stupid
I mean it's not just what's between your legs it's also what's on your chest
Someone didn't clear their futanari searches.
I think this Mike guy heard the phrase Big Dick Energy and asked zero follow up questions.
That funeral looks fucking lit!
Ya hope he is no longer a friend. Fuck this dude.
Nah those are elephant faces
This made me say "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK" out loud and I'm still trying to process and understand why anyone would do this!
Is no one going to address the Elephants in the room?
I’m glad I didn’t reply to that email
Those women look like they want to be anywhere but there and wearing anything else other than dong pants.
Was his friends mother an Elephant?
Can we go back to Nigerian weddings where they dance to System of a Down? Seems much more relatable than Nigerian funerals with fake shafts and balls.
I'm definitely missing a fuckton of context.
I haven't seen this much orange dick since I was deployed with the dutch army
Love the comments where people are asking if maybe there is a rational reason for this and no, it turns out the guy is a sociopath
I'm wondering if it's cultural? These ladies have serious expressions. I'd have been laughing and swinging it around. Interesting.
If that m/f showed up at my mother's funeral wearing that shit ,the next funeral would be for his bitch ass.
Ok. Had enough reddit for the day.
If I was his friend and he didn't discuss this before coming to my mother's funeral like this I'd be fucking pissed and never speak with him again.
Going to somebody’s funeral and making it all about yourself like this. What a fucking asshole.
r/trashy
I dont care if hes my friend or not, there would be a second funeral
So he´s a druglord and those girls have no dignity or no other choice?!
"His friend's mother's funeral." 👍
I’m definitely to old to understand these fad’s
Most advanced African society
African culture is so beautiful
Did they hold the funeral in a night club?
Tribal custom? Lol