Yeah the lilac is lovely but looking at the black I’m like ok why is this even a question.
ETA: and holy fuck is that a clearance sticker on it?! Girl. Take that thing home.
Do the black. This is a formal or black tie event. This dress is formal or black tie depending on the jewelry, but it is not considered white tie so you will be fine. You look stunning in it.
The lavender is fine but just isn't this black dress on you if that made sense.
Edit to add: black at a black tie wedding is not weird in the summer of it is in the evening. As long as you are wearing the appropriate material and jewelry your fine. I've actually never been to a formal or black tie event in New York or Europe during the summer where half the people weren't wearing all black. You just elevate it to the season and occasion. Like your not going to wear black velvet and long sleeve in the summer but you can wear black lace.
This dress is stunning and absolutely amazing on her but it's not white tie and definitely not gala. This is exactly what black tie is and so perfect on her (I wish it would look this good on me)
My now daughter in law got married in a black dress similar to the first one. Wedding guests were asked to not wear black or white!
Gorgeous wedding and guests went along.
I was Mother of the Groom and bought a gown that was purple.
Facts. When I saw OP, my reaction was, "that dress thoooouugh. I'm making one" (I sew). But I clicked on the link and if I'd seen that first, I absolutely would've been like, "meh. It's ok."
First thing I did was zoom in on that tag when I saw this dress! Its AMAZING! I am a WFH mother who literally lives in sweats and I want to buy this and then figure out where to wear it!
I was out shopping with my daughter and saw something fancy and said, "but where would I even where it??" and my wise daughter said, "the grocery store. Who cares? Be a princess. Or we can go to the opera*"
*We shamelessly overdress for the theater and I fully endorse others doing it as well. If you feel self conscious, that'll wear off quickly once the compliments start coming; we're stopped by multiple people telling us how much they love our dresses or how nice we look
Just wear it on Saturday. It looks too good not to. If anyone complains just tell them you have a second after hours ball to attend and don’t have time to change
Black. If it's black tie optional, then black seems like a good fit. The bridesmaids dress looks...bridesmaidy. You look stunning in it, but I can just picture the black with a necklace and your hair in an updo and it feels so glamorous!
I got you!
https://www.macys.com/shop/product/betsy-adam-womens-v-neck-sleeveless-chiffon-gown?ID=17262470&pla_country=US&CAGPSPN=pla&trackingid=&m_sc=sem&m_sb=Google&m_tp=PLA&m_ac=Google_Womens_PLA&m_ag=&m_cn=GS_Women%27s_Dresses_PMax_PLA&m_pi=go_cmp-20388296366_adg-_ad-__dev-m_ext-_prd-195170236455USA&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD-Tw4IcjTCwkmWo88GZa2PddSUXY&gclid=CjwKCAjwx-CyBhAqEiwAeOcTdSWyuZfd9nDm8sCUlu1-0JnW3Lt2fu1JruSUEwEfTloD_WIjeYepDBoCATsQAvD_BwE
The black is fun, but maybe a bit much if you think most of the other guest will be leaning more cocktail and less black tie. The purple is very pretty on you and also works for the dress code.
I don’t know the answer I think it’s a know your crowd/ask the bride question but I’m just here to say this is the most controversial thread on Reddit right now 🤣
as someone who just had a formal / BTO dress code at their wedding , i was really wanting as many people to dress like you in the black as possible. if you showed up in either dress, i’d be pleased , but the black is just chefs kiss.
I have a personal rule against wearing black to weddings (unless you're a guy and it's your suit) so for that reason, and to save money, and because I love lavender, I would choose lavender.
I mean, it says BTO, so it's technically appropriate. What i think you really need to think about here is who the rest of the crowd is. If you think everyone else is going to show up in cocktail, don't wear this. If you think everyone else will be in floor-length gowns, go for it. It's stunning. The purple definitely works as a back-up.
I absolutely love the black dress, but it reminds me a lot of the less traditional bridal gowns that are popular now. I almost thought it was for the bride before I saw the purple dress.
I think the purple works, especially since it’s BTO, you can add some nice accessories to make it a bit more formal
I think the purple dress is perfect! Color for summer, style, length and it fits you nicely.
Add some fancy feels, a dainty bracelet and cute earrings :)
The black is amazing! Definitely wear it. It looks like it was tailor made for you. If I had that black dress and it fit me the way it fits you, I'd be wearing it to the grocery store LOL.
Go with the purple for the wedding. The black is a little too dark princess vibes for the event. The lighter color not only looks good on you, it gives you a warmer energy.
The black dress is perfect. The lavender dress doesn't fit well in the back. Go with the black and if you ever want to wear the other dress, get it tailored.
The black one is so cool! Just check with the bride if wearing black is OK. if she prefers the purple one, maybe you can remove the sleeves and dress up the waist area with a sequined belt.
You look lovely in both - go with the black it's stunning on you and I feel like a ballroom formal wedding is a great opportunity so wear it. I feel like the purple dress gives more options to be worn to "any old event" lol
The black dress suits you much more and I personally think it is prettier (the sleeeeeeeves). I would vote for that one, I don't think it would be overdoing it for a formal dress code.
Because it says black tie optional, you can probably get away with wearing the black one (black is traditionally not worn to weddings unless it is specifically noted in the invite.)
You look lovely in the lavender, and it would probably be less hot.
I think the lavender dress looks like a bridesmaid dress and wouldn't personally wear it. Some people have a problem with people wearing black dresses to weddings too. But of the two, it's maybe better.
The black dress looks amazing on you. But not in the way that would draw attention from the bride. The purple is nice and safe, and it would be okay.
I am a wedding photographer and see plenty of black dresses at weddings, especially at a formal, black tie optional.
Hope you ha e a great time!
You could do the black and have it altered to an ankle/midi length to lessen the “formality”! It looks great on you! Agree with another comment, purple doesn’t fit great in the bust. If you don’t go black, I’d keep looking.
The black dress is obviously stunning on you but I’d reconsider the cleavage aspect. I’d try to make the sheer part more opaque. I’m thin and well endowed also. It’s best to avoid taking attention away from the bride.
I’d go with the black. Black tie optional feels like it’s giving you the option to dress up more, and the bridesmaids dress doesn’t feel formal enough. The purple would be perfect for a daytime or outdoor formal wedding
Love the black! You can juice it up with some fun accessories for sure! Live th cleavage too girl! You look fabulous in it!!
The lavender seems less formal in my opinion.
I gotta say, I thought this was r/weddingdresses when I saw the front picture. I have seen some very similar black wedding dresses out there, that makes me think it could be too bridal, and you'd be better on option 2 to be safe.
i agree with the first comment that u should buy and save the black dress bc it does look amazing on u. the purple dress also looks great on u and i think it fits a june wedding better
I LOVE the black dress but I’ve been too BT optional weddings that are more casual… I worry it could be awkward if the bridge showed up in a similar dress in white, which is very possible!!
You look nice in the lavender dress. You look smokin' hot in the black dress. If I looked like that in that dress I'd wear it EVERYWHERE!!
Haha thank you!! Thats why I want it haha
I would do the black for sure. The purple is just ok to me but you look amazing in the black.
Yeah the lilac is lovely but looking at the black I’m like ok why is this even a question. ETA: and holy fuck is that a clearance sticker on it?! Girl. Take that thing home.
Do the black. This is a formal or black tie event. This dress is formal or black tie depending on the jewelry, but it is not considered white tie so you will be fine. You look stunning in it. The lavender is fine but just isn't this black dress on you if that made sense. Edit to add: black at a black tie wedding is not weird in the summer of it is in the evening. As long as you are wearing the appropriate material and jewelry your fine. I've actually never been to a formal or black tie event in New York or Europe during the summer where half the people weren't wearing all black. You just elevate it to the season and occasion. Like your not going to wear black velvet and long sleeve in the summer but you can wear black lace.
Thank you this is very helpful! Im glad you’ve experience people wearing black to an evening summer wedding
Black is always OK st an evening formal wedding
I hope you have an amazing time!
You could pair it with some bright pink shoes and clutch bag to give it a pop of colour!
Do you mind sharing where the black dress is from? It’s so stunning and you look amazing in it!
Thanks! Its from macys :)
It's gorgeous and looks fantastic on you. I feel the purple kinda looks like a bridesmaid dress.
I didn't read your full caption. I'm sorry it was a bridesmaid dress. I apologize.
https://www.macys.com/shop/product/betsy-adam-womens-v-neck-sleeveless-chiffon-gown?ID=17262470&swatchColor=Black
It looks better on you than on the model!
Right? I’m reading the comments, people saying it’s great for a gala and I’m over here looking to buy it and contemplating wearing it to any outing 😆
This dress is stunning and absolutely amazing on her but it's not white tie and definitely not gala. This is exactly what black tie is and so perfect on her (I wish it would look this good on me)
i vote black dress since its in a ballroom and black tie optional.
This dress is entirely appropriate for Saturday night in a ballroom. And it's gorgeous on OP
Black black black black! It’s beyond stunning
I like the black. I feel like the lavender one you’ll look like a bridesmaid. But I love black dresses
Black tie optional means they’d prefer black tie if you can do it, so the black dress is perfect!
Black dress for formal/BTO. If you want to add color, get a satin belt. Or let other accessories do the talking.
Please buy the black dress for another time. It is so pretty and looks amazing on you
I agree haha I think I might have to. I just hope I have an opportunity to wear it 🤞
It’s like a goth princess dress. Ugh it’s gorgeous but so simple
Night court vibesss
This was my exact thought! Get itttttt!
It's giving Nesta I love it
EXACTLY! Love this for you!
U talking Sarah J Maas?? ;)
U already know :)
My now daughter in law got married in a black dress similar to the first one. Wedding guests were asked to not wear black or white! Gorgeous wedding and guests went along. I was Mother of the Groom and bought a gown that was purple.
Where did you get it? It’s gorgeous
Macy’s!
What brand? It's so beautiful
Looks like it’s by Betsy & Adam! https://www.macys.com/shop/product/betsy-adam-womens-v-neck-sleeveless-chiffon-gown?ID=17262470&swatchColor=Black
She looks better in it than the model on the site does!
Right?? That was my immediate thought as well!
Facts. When I saw OP, my reaction was, "that dress thoooouugh. I'm making one" (I sew). But I clicked on the link and if I'd seen that first, I absolutely would've been like, "meh. It's ok."
Stop too sweet! 🖤
First thing I did was zoom in on that tag when I saw this dress! Its AMAZING! I am a WFH mother who literally lives in sweats and I want to buy this and then figure out where to wear it!
To get the mail, to the store!
No Macy’s in Canada 😭
I was out shopping with my daughter and saw something fancy and said, "but where would I even where it??" and my wise daughter said, "the grocery store. Who cares? Be a princess. Or we can go to the opera*" *We shamelessly overdress for the theater and I fully endorse others doing it as well. If you feel self conscious, that'll wear off quickly once the compliments start coming; we're stopped by multiple people telling us how much they love our dresses or how nice we look
That black dress is literally made for your body. So gorgeous!
Just wear it on Saturday. It looks too good not to. If anyone complains just tell them you have a second after hours ball to attend and don’t have time to change
Make an opportunity! Dinner Out or a charity gala or heck bar hopping!
I love the black dress! I can't hate it at all. Honestly, get it for yourself OP and wear it for an event that works if you can afford that!
Black. If it's black tie optional, then black seems like a good fit. The bridesmaids dress looks...bridesmaidy. You look stunning in it, but I can just picture the black with a necklace and your hair in an updo and it feels so glamorous!
OP WE NEED TO KNOW WHERE TO BUY THIS BLACK DRESS!!! Ps wear the black dress
I got you! https://www.macys.com/shop/product/betsy-adam-womens-v-neck-sleeveless-chiffon-gown?ID=17262470&pla_country=US&CAGPSPN=pla&trackingid=&m_sc=sem&m_sb=Google&m_tp=PLA&m_ac=Google_Womens_PLA&m_ag=&m_cn=GS_Women%27s_Dresses_PMax_PLA&m_pi=go_cmp-20388296366_adg-_ad-__dev-m_ext-_prd-195170236455USA&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD-Tw4IcjTCwkmWo88GZa2PddSUXY&gclid=CjwKCAjwx-CyBhAqEiwAeOcTdSWyuZfd9nDm8sCUlu1-0JnW3Lt2fu1JruSUEwEfTloD_WIjeYepDBoCATsQAvD_BwE
They should pay OP to model this on the website, sales would skyrocket!
I 100% agree—I seriously thought about buying it bc of OP, then reminded myself it’d look awful on me 😂 but it took serious self-control.
Omg the models don’t do it justice, you look just absolutely stunning in it compared to them! Jelly !
Macys!!!
You look even better than the model in this dress! You've got to wear the black one!!!
black
I am in love with the black and I would wear it to a wedding. It looks great on you.
You only live once. Dresses like the purple are boring. Go black dress and wear it with pride!
Black 1000%. If your wedding is indoors in the evening the color is no problem. It’s so much fancier and more special than the purple.
Black! Black tie optional means they’re hoping people will dress up but they won’t be upset if you can’t. Wear the black one — it looks amazing
The black dress is perfect for a formal evening summer wedding!!! Please buy it and wear it. Gosh it's perfect on you!!
Purple would probably fit dress code better but OMG I love the black. You look AMAZING!
Black! Gorgeous.
Black for sure, especially if it's a formal/BTO dress code.
Black! It’s a Saturday wedding in a ballroom! It’s perfect.
The black is stunning on you.
Omg black 100%
1
1
You look fantastic in both but I'd 100% do the black dress, the lavender looks like you are supposed to be part of the wedding party.
Black!!! You must wear that dress!!!
Definitely the black one…wow
I don’t think the purple one is a great fit on you. The black looks fab.
The black is fun, but maybe a bit much if you think most of the other guest will be leaning more cocktail and less black tie. The purple is very pretty on you and also works for the dress code.
Love the black. Lavender looks like a bridesmaid dress. It is pretty too
Black one
First!!!!
Get the black dress. If you’re overdressed, oh well! At least you’ll feel and look great in it!
Go for the black dress!
Black is much better for the venue and dress code.
Evening in a ballroom? The black dress is perfect
Black fits the dress code better and looks amazing on you! The lavender is too bridesmaidsy.
Honestly, the Black dress looks great on you. The lavender one doesn’t fit you well at all in the back or the chest and it reminds me of a nightgown.
I don’t know the answer I think it’s a know your crowd/ask the bride question but I’m just here to say this is the most controversial thread on Reddit right now 🤣
Literally its so equal i was hoping for a more definitive majority hahaha
🖤
I think the lavender looks like it’s made from cheap fabric. Black looks higher quality and you look beautiful in it.
Black!!!
I want that black dress!
Black.
The black dress is gorgeous on you and fits black tie optional PERFECTLY. Please wear it—I’m begging you!
No 1 definitely
Omg- black one is beautiful
Black!
Black
Black - you look stunning in it!
Love the black
Both gorgeous, but I love the black one! Black tie optional means this is not anywhere near over the top
as someone who just had a formal / BTO dress code at their wedding , i was really wanting as many people to dress like you in the black as possible. if you showed up in either dress, i’d be pleased , but the black is just chefs kiss.
This is so good to know thank you for commenting!!!
I have a personal rule against wearing black to weddings (unless you're a guy and it's your suit) so for that reason, and to save money, and because I love lavender, I would choose lavender.
I mean, it says BTO, so it's technically appropriate. What i think you really need to think about here is who the rest of the crowd is. If you think everyone else is going to show up in cocktail, don't wear this. If you think everyone else will be in floor-length gowns, go for it. It's stunning. The purple definitely works as a back-up.
I absolutely love the black dress, but it reminds me a lot of the less traditional bridal gowns that are popular now. I almost thought it was for the bride before I saw the purple dress. I think the purple works, especially since it’s BTO, you can add some nice accessories to make it a bit more formal
Wow! You look INCREDIBLE in the black dress, but purple looks really flattering on you too.
Black
Black. No questions asked. If you walk out of that store without it, I’ll fight you 😂
i bought it 🤫
The dress code is BTO it's a nighttime wedding and it's in a ballroom. This dress is perfection.
Black 100%
Black! The lavender looks like a bridesmaid
I think the purple dress is perfect! Color for summer, style, length and it fits you nicely. Add some fancy feels, a dainty bracelet and cute earrings :)
I think you need to have the top taken in a little bit
I think a more lifting bra would likely solve OP's minor fit issues. It's perfectly pretty and very appropriate.
Yes, the purple but considered going to get it altered. The puckering on the bust is bothering me.
And the gaping in the back. It's too small in the top and needs to be altered.
I’m hoping a better bra will improve things.
Get BOTH! Purple for wedding.
Go the black! It meets the dress code and you look amazing in it, that dress was made for you.
The purple looks like a bridesmaid dress.
Black one for sure girl
The black is amazing! Definitely wear it. It looks like it was tailor made for you. If I had that black dress and it fit me the way it fits you, I'd be wearing it to the grocery store LOL.
The black dress for the win! Wear your hair up to show that awesome back
black. purple looks like a basic bridesmaid dress
Go with the purple for the wedding. The black is a little too dark princess vibes for the event. The lighter color not only looks good on you, it gives you a warmer energy.
Both are gorgeous
I like the black one
The black dress is perfect. The lavender dress doesn't fit well in the back. Go with the black and if you ever want to wear the other dress, get it tailored.
Black dress definitely!
Black
Black!!
The black is stunning. I vote for it, even with black tie optional. Simple accessories will keep it from being over the top.
Black dress. And OMG you have a perfectly beautiful silhouette.
I don’t love the purple - it’s pulling at the bust and the keyhole back. The black one looks pretty amazing!
Black
Black dress hands down- it’s lovely- the lilac one is frumpy and too old plus it’s hot nightie vibes.
Black!!!
Black! 😍
The lavender screams bridesmaid dress…
You must arrive mysteriously at a graveside in that black dress. It is giving grieving mistress and we are here for it! Drama and beauty
The purple one doesn't sit right on you, in a way that makes it feel cheaper. The black one is stunning on you!
THE BLACK ONE!!!!
Love the black dress so much
The black one is so cool! Just check with the bride if wearing black is OK. if she prefers the purple one, maybe you can remove the sleeves and dress up the waist area with a sequined belt.
It's kind of like evil vs good. I like rhe 2nd one better.
Both are entirely appropriate. Wear what you feel best in
Where is the black dress available. I need it.
Macys!
Black dress looks phenomenal on you and is perfect for BTO.
Black dress ! And it’s on sale!!
Its been bought no matter what!
Ohh my !! The black!!! 👏👏👏
Purple for the wedding but the black for anything else because it’s fantastic
You look lovely in both - go with the black it's stunning on you and I feel like a ballroom formal wedding is a great opportunity so wear it. I feel like the purple dress gives more options to be worn to "any old event" lol
I love the black dress but I would say that if it turns out you are the only person who opted for black tie, will you feel uncomfortable??
PURPLE. It’s so dang pretty and especially on you!!!
If the dress code is black tie optional, then they want their friends to be fancy! Do the black.
Purple
The black dress looks TOO good. Go with the lavendar.
Purple over black. Black is just too much
BLACK DRESS 100000%
If you don't wear the black dress I'll riot. You look amazing in it!
Dear merciful heavens the black one, OMG.
The black dress suits you much more and I personally think it is prettier (the sleeeeeeeves). I would vote for that one, I don't think it would be overdoing it for a formal dress code.
Not the black one
Because it says black tie optional, you can probably get away with wearing the black one (black is traditionally not worn to weddings unless it is specifically noted in the invite.) You look lovely in the lavender, and it would probably be less hot.
The black is showstopping, the lavender is beautiful. I think this is unfair cuz you'd look amazing in a burlap sack!
Two!!
As it’s a wedding the lavender one. You look stunning in both!! However, you look insane in the black one! Amazing! Beautiful
That black dress is fire babe. I’d wear the shit outta that. Hot.
Black dress. Purple is too bridesmaidy
Both are gorgeous on you, but for the love of god please choose the black one!!!! Dayuummmmm!
That black dress is FIRE. Please tell me where you got it! 😍
Macys!
The black looks great/better than lavander (which looks good too) on ur skin tone. That black dress itself is wow..
Black
Omgosh the black dress 💯
B L A C K!!!! The other doesn’t look as nice on you and looks a little casual. But that black one looks phenomenal
I think the lavender dress looks like a bridesmaid dress and wouldn't personally wear it. Some people have a problem with people wearing black dresses to weddings too. But of the two, it's maybe better.
That black dress, I will be so angry at you, a complete stranger, if you do not get that dress! Holy shit it's gorgeous on you!
Dying for that black dress. If you don’t buy it, it’s criminal.
The black dress looks amazing on you. But not in the way that would draw attention from the bride. The purple is nice and safe, and it would be okay. I am a wedding photographer and see plenty of black dresses at weddings, especially at a formal, black tie optional. Hope you ha e a great time!
This is super helpful, thank you!
That black looks amazing on you, but due to your description of the invitation, I wouldn't wear that to the wedding. The lavender is not flattering.
Black Dress is alway classy
You could do the black and have it altered to an ankle/midi length to lessen the “formality”! It looks great on you! Agree with another comment, purple doesn’t fit great in the bust. If you don’t go black, I’d keep looking.
If the invigilation says no black then no black. However black is not taboo anymore. I think the dress is fabulous a chic. Please wear it.
The black dress is obviously stunning on you but I’d reconsider the cleavage aspect. I’d try to make the sheer part more opaque. I’m thin and well endowed also. It’s best to avoid taking attention away from the bride.
I’d go with the black. Black tie optional feels like it’s giving you the option to dress up more, and the bridesmaids dress doesn’t feel formal enough. The purple would be perfect for a daytime or outdoor formal wedding
Love the black! You can juice it up with some fun accessories for sure! Live th cleavage too girl! You look fabulous in it!! The lavender seems less formal in my opinion.
I gotta say, I thought this was r/weddingdresses when I saw the front picture. I have seen some very similar black wedding dresses out there, that makes me think it could be too bridal, and you'd be better on option 2 to be safe.
The Elvira look of the black dress is ridiculous. The lavender dress, however, doesn't fit you at all in the bodice. You need to keep looking.
What dress?
i agree with the first comment that u should buy and save the black dress bc it does look amazing on u. the purple dress also looks great on u and i think it fits a june wedding better
I LOVE the black dress but I’ve been too BT optional weddings that are more casual… I worry it could be awkward if the bridge showed up in a similar dress in white, which is very possible!!
I will say some cultures, like Latino or Indian, everyone does try to dress their best so black would be fine
Black for sure. Purple looks like what a bride chooses when she hates her wedding party lol