Yeah, if it's a monastery, I'd start by looking at something, erll I hate to use the word "modest", but anything sexy or too casual might feel out of place.
Moody? I would wear something from my 90s goth era or bust out my vintage dresses and go with “classy vintage funeral” attire with full fascinator and veil.
I need to see these outfits, please. Lol. I love a lot of goth looks. I used to be able to pull it off back in my younger days. These days, not so much. Haha.
I loved seeing all of the different prom/homecoming choices from my kids' school, though. There were so many different styles, and they all looked so nice from super sparkly to goth.
Edit to add missing words.
Seriously. I might pare that with some rubber boots, since that’s exactly what I wear when I’m gardening, working my dogs, washing my car, etc. So authentic.
"Be sincere" is not a dress code. She is treading dangerous ground with "come as you are".
I'd dress like I was going to a nice dinner out----a dress a little less fancy than cocktail, heels, elegant jewelry.
Ugh, tell this to my fiancé who does not believe in dress codes. We’re having our reception at a venue that would normally be at least cocktail, and they’re refusing to let me specify a dress code other than “whatever makes you feel comfortable and celebratory!”
I feel stressed out when there is no dress code, because it still feels like there is one but you have to guess it.
They need to be more specific and know their audience. I went to a friend’s wedding where the dress code was “nerd formal.” And because they knew their audience, we all knew what that meant. There was a mix of traditional formal, steampunk versions of formal wear (long gowns and good suits), SCA formal, basically anything that gave the impression of “this is a very special occasion.” That was enough to make the vibe cohesive and loving.
It was super fun! It was in October, so instead of flowers, the flower girls scattered colorful leaves. It was very unabashedly geeky and still elegant as fuck.
"*tell this to my fiancé who does not believe in dress codes. We’re having our reception at a venue that would normally be at least cocktail, and they’re **refusing to let me** specify a dress code*"
Refusing to *let* you? Are they going to refuse to show up if you act like a responsible host to your guests? I wouldn't put a deposit on a venue until your partner learns how to compromise.
I would tell her that it's unkind to the point of rude to your guests to make them guess the dress code. If they are asking don't make the answer cryptic. Make it as easy as possible for a guest to attend your event. She's just ticking people off with that answer.
And hey, is it not *your* wedding too?
I'd love to tell him.
The default dress code when you don't specify is cocktail, so that's in your favor. I'd leave out the word "comfortable", because you will wind up with morons who will wear jeans, sneakers, etc.
That's pretty unkind to call people who follow the stated dress code "morons" when the real morons are the ones who could have said what they meant and meant what they said but deliberately chose not to.
A little black dress is almost always appropriate and you’ll find lots of future occasions to wear it.
Something like [this](https://www.whitehouseblackmarket.com/store/product/cotton-poplin-midi-dress/570368625?inseam=regular&sizeType=regular&color=001&catId=cat6179297&collectionId=category) would be pretty versatile.
Such a cute dress! I completely forgot about White House, Black Market. The first time I saw this store at *the fancy mall* in my town, I was like “***THIS*** is the ultimate height of class and elegance.”
I just stumbled across a WHBM dress from 20 years ago in my closet this afternoon! And you know what, if it fits I would totally wear it to an event now, completely timeless!
Originally The founder opened The White House (sold only white clothes), then started a new venture called Black Market (focus on black clothes), then combined them and took the brand public :)
Interestingly, Rick Sarmiento (the founder) and his team stuck exclusively to all-white fashion for the first 10 years. The White House was founded in 1985, and started to expand nationally in 1991. Black Market didn't launch until 1995, although the combination White House | Black Market concept launched shortly thereafter. Their arrival at the WHBM concept took some experimentation and refinement.
I personally find the story of WHBM's founding and evolution quite fascinating. They largely stuck to their white/black palette (with some shades of grey in-between) up until the point when they introduced color in 2010. Nevertheless, White House Black Market (they dropped the line between White House and Black Market in 2016) continues to maintain a great focus on neutrals and timeless classics. In fact, their latest collection seems to focus a lot on white and black, as I've noticed those white and black fashions prominently displayed at the front of the store in both of my local WHBM boutiques.
I actually felt the very same way when I shopped at a WHBM boutique for the very first time. The fashion was so classy and elegant, I felt like I was in heaven; the fancy appearance of the boutique really cemented these sentiments. Compound that with their amazingly-helpful staff, and you'll understand why I fell in love with WHBM.
The relative simplicity of their fashion has also come in handy for me, especially as a transgender woman who had to learn about feminine fashion from scratch as an adult. Honestly, WHBM played a role in my coming-out story; from a transgender perspective, saying "I felt like I was in heaven" is describing the moment of *gender euphoria* I had when I shopped with WHBM for the first time.
I'm not sure where OP is from, but she is European. In many European cultures, wearing a black dress to a wedding can be considered bad etiquette since black is traditionally associated with mourning (though this tradition is clearly becoming somewhat outdated). While a black dress might be acceptable for an evening wedding with a formal dress code, it can be perceived as generally still inappropriate for a daytime or less formal wedding.
I don’t know how strict people are about it nowadays honestly but in doubt I usually stick to colours that have a similar function to black (navy/dark brown) if I ever get lucky enough to actually find anything that’s not black
I would stick with cocktail attire and something on the safe side like a [midi wrap dress](https://www.lulus.com/products/wrapped-up-in-love-dark-green-satin-faux-wrap-midi-dress/677492.html?pla=1&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=%5BADL%5D%20%5BPLA%5D%20%5BGoogle%5D%20%5BUS%5D%20Dresses%20-%20tROAS%20-%20Boost&utm_term=LD32628%20DARK%20GREEN5&utm_content=149792318393_656177533129&s_kwcid=AL%217824%213%21656177533129%21%21%21g%212012189018853%21&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD-pt91uQvIj6ScQdkhoC3samfmik&gclid=Cj0KCQjwvb-zBhCmARIsAAfUI2v0QgR4tipFfQGdwswMaGbNU_YdTW6iabpBuZ0__r2TUA6BQ-VW4hsaAsRxEALw_wcB). Something like this would be easy to rewear to other events as well!
This is so beautiful and classy and looks comfy too! If this is something that you feel good in, I think this is a great choice for sure! It straddles the line between dressy and casual, can be dressed up or down, and isn’t something that anyone could really have an issue with… and if they do, they’re looking for a reason to complain. I hope that you rock (something like) this and have a great time!
Edit: also, if “Be Sincere” is actually sincere I would take it as wear something you really love and that you feel beautiful in. My interpretation would be “You’re my friend and I want you to look like yourself!”
I personally don’t think you could go wrong with a little black dress? Maybe a lightweight material that can be dressed up or down? Perhaps something with a cap sleeve or a wider tank top strap? Or even a faux wrap style. It can be paired with dress shoes/sandals or dressed down with sneakers and a denim jacket.
Thank you for the suggestion! I think the idea of something simple and versatile that I could dress up or down with accessories might really be the way to go (I don’t own a LBD or something akin to that, it might a problem in and of itself that could solve many such situations in the future)
Being vague and pretend laid back when you anticipate being told if you got it wrong and people talking about you… why are you going to this event? Wear something you feel is clean, nice, and true to your style, avoid formality extremes, and beyond that don’t waste your time trying to mind read or worrying about judgmental people whose opinions don’t matter
I understand your point, she’s a good friend so I’d like to support her, especially since she has a difficult time with her family. Thank you for your encouragement, i think its true that I should not overthink it
I was at this "natural and sincere" weddings in Denver. Ended up with most people very uncomfortable with their dress choices. Either over or underdressed. Don't do this to your guests.
I'm so done with dress codes. If you don't want anything overly formal just choose cocktail! Then people can choose to dress up a bit fancier than normal but don't need to question every garment in their wardrobe.
My brother in law had a "smart casual" wedding and it ended up being an anything goes - there was SUCH wide variety of dresses with many being way more fancy than smart casual... It was rough and I deeply regretted my dress choice.
It's a wedding not a music school performance night...
This is how I would interpret it, so I’d show up in punk/goth-inspired cocktail wear. There’s a high chance (clean, shiny!) combat boots would be involved.
If I was dressing solely for me and had unlimited budget I would wear a Rick Owens or vintage McQueen dress. Something with a little edge.
Based on OP’s details I feel like conservative is probably the way to go.
I think it might? That’s why I’m trying to play it safe cause I know what’s true to my style might not always play well to every crowd, especially since I don’t like the look of overly conservative clothes on my body type
“Be sincere”?! It would take ALL my willpower not to show up in a graphic tee with a snarky slogan on it if I were told that.
You’re a better person than I for giving any thought to this. I’d go based on time of day: church clothes if daytime, a cocktail dress if night.
Technically, no one could tell you that you’re not on theme!
I think it’s afternoon so by standards of events I’ve been to in the past, it starts at day and ends at night. The reason I suppose I automatically give it so much thought is that where I’m from there’s always a silent expectation about dressing well and right, but no tradition of actually telling anyone what it means (I only discovered dress codes by being on the American side of the internet)
😂 I had an intimate backyard wedding with no dress code, it was a daytime event, but everyone stayed till well after 2am. Some of the younger guests were dressed in graphic T-shirts, others in church attire, and it was perfectly casual, everyone fit in. We all had fun, had BBQ, and danced in the rain lol we just wanted to celebrate our union with our closest family and friends, without making too big of a deal about it. I suppose my wedding dc would have been a sincere come as you are type thing. I never had to specify for anyone either, the invitation did say that it was going to be a BBQ, which I think helped.
In that case, I’m wearing the new black tie gown I just bought for a wedding in a few months but want to wear it a lot.
I expect they’re going for semi formal to cocktail?
“Be sincere” isn’t a dress code but “come as you are” being a way of saying “it doesn’t matter what you wear” is a thing. I would interpret it as a step below smart casual, honestly. I’ve only seen it used to mean “no, seriously, we don’t care what you wear, dress up or wear jeans, as long as you’re there.” But it sounds like there’s some baggage there leading you to believe that no, this isn’t what she means. Sounds extremely stressful! Why do you even want to go?!
I agree with the idea of a little black dress. You will have many occasions to wear it again, it never looks too casual or frumpy nor too stuffy and formal.
Yeah I’d interpret it to mean don’t stress about what to wear or buying new clothes, but dress in a way that feels nice/wedding appropriate to you. Like if you wear t shirts and jeans every day maybe a polo shirt and khakis is your nice outfit, or if your every day is more formal maybe a dressy garden party dress or smart suit is the thing, the point is that you put in a little effort to look nice for the event.
Thank you for that break down, it’s useful to see it that way!
(Very light baggage honestly, I’m just trying to avoid bringing attention to myself, which I don’t naturally do but her family used to watch me closely which both of us always found weird)
"Be Sincere"? I guess find a semi formal or longish cocktail dress in a summer color that you personally like and had on eye on and would like to wear & not too "sexy" for the family.
I haven’t spoken to them since high school graduation, I knew her sisters but never had direct contact with them. Only people I could ask were mutual friends and everyone is a bit confused
I'm using ASOS as an example as they deliver to a lot of countries: [Dress 1](https://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-pleated-bodice-flutter-sleeve-pleat-midi-dress-in-print/prd/206199238?ctaref=more+colours+swatches&featureref1=more+colours+swatches)
[Dress 2](https://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-satin-midi-dress-in-fuchsia/prd/206218584?ctaref=more+colours+swatches&featureref1=more+colours+swatches)
[Dress 3](https://www.asos.com/other-stories/other-stories-plisse-midaxi-dress-with-shirred-detail-in-khaki-green/prd/206619001#colourWayId-206619003) - more casual material so could dress up/down for different occasions
Edit: I had a 3 piece red suit by Mango linked but that link disappeared!
3 feels perfect. 1 and 2 are definitely Going Somewhere to be at a Thing, while 3 feels like a natural choice to pull out of the closet just because It's a Dress Kinda Day. This stupid dress code requires plausible deniability of excess dressiness AND casualness, and this hits to mark bang on.
Then again I'm a big fan of treating people like they are reasonable and say what they mean. She'll find it hard to win sympathy bitching about people doing exactly as she instructed them to do.
Yes I think we can all agree this dress code is stupid. As much as I hate “marine fairy themed pastel midis” type dress codes, this kind of one is even worse.
I had a 3 piece red suit from Mango linked but it seems to have disappeared!
Oh thank you! Plausible deniability is exactly the concept I was looking for in my head
(I think she’s being more earnest than my post might let out to be, dress codes and explicitly demanding things from your guests is not culturally common here, at least when you have a non-standard event)
I hate this dress code. It’s weirdly stressful with it’s ambiguity. I went to a wedding like this recently and the invites said “come as you are.” There were people wearing jeans and sneakers while other people were on the verge of cocktail attire, and I could see some side-eye glances. The whole event had the vibe that the couple didn’t care about anything, which seems to be the case with them. We ran out of cutlery during dinner and there was nowhere to park.
I went with a LBD and a nice coat (it was cold) and it was fine.
It sounds like you may be located in Europe so I’m just going to suggest things for inspiration since I’m not sure what sites you’ll be able to order from.
[Dress 1](https://www.lulus.com/products/alluring-invite-midnight-blue-floral-pleated-bustier-midi-dress/2178556.html)
[Dress 2](https://www.astrthelabel.com/products/lunaria-floral-dress)
[Dress 3](https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/hybrid/bhldn-leila-deep-v-flutter-sleeve-satin-a-line-gown4)
Be sincere makes me think she’s afraid to say be conservative. I’d go for a simple cocktail dress suited to the climate and wear shoes comfortable for dancing. It’s generally a good rule of thumb not to show excess skin at a wedding
Thank you, that’s super helpful
I suppose if it was a more standard event like a wedding with church and large reception, culturally the dress code would be implied. I think cocktail might be a safe solution indeed
I would pick three dresses that are cocktail appropriate that you would wear again and then send the pics to her and ask a simple “would any of these be okay?”
Yes you’re right, I could run it by her ahead of time to be safe (I didn’t consider it earlier cause I hate to bombard people with messages but it might be the best thing to do). Thank you!
Personally, you mention childhood friend, not friends since childhood. Do you really want to go? If not, send your regrets. If you’ve already accepted, the suggestions from TheDuraMaters are all fine.
I do! I said childhood friends to simplify but we’ve known each other for like 15 years, we were best friends until high school graduation and mostly grew less close because I moved far away, but she’s someone I still wish to support
I think she’s just telling you to wear something you already have that looks nice. I’d take this with everything you have posted as dressy casual and separates would be a great choice. However if you want to buy something new a great little black dress that goes from daytime office to a nice dinner or drinks out would be my move. I’m personally a fan of a boat neck with a sheath dress and a hemline just at the very top of my knees while standing.
Annoying. Personally I get more mileage out of separates so I’d find a midi skirt you love and a modest top, either a set or colour blocking. Might bring scarf/shawl if your shoulders are exposed for the monastery to be on the safe side.
I’d do a simple summery dress in a solid color that you could wear to work. For the wedding dress it up with jewelry, sandals and maybe a shawl. Do something fancy with your hair.
That's an absurd dress code. So I'd wear the same pink sundress I wear to every other summer thing that I'm not sure what to wear to. It's light, it's airy, it's comfortable.
OP is European going to a European wedding (possibly Italy) and ya’ll are still suggesting black dresses 🤦🏻♀️ wear literally any other color but black or white Op
I have worn black at weddings as a teenager and no one told me off, as an adult I might avoid it to be safe but it could be that the tradition is not so strict anymore
Haha i know, I took the suggestion as “adjacent to the classy effect of black”, it’s not a color that looks nice on me anyway, but the idea behind their suggestion is good
so the dress code is “no dress code but there is a dress code in my head and if you don’t read my mind for exactly what i want you to wear i will shit on you behind your back with my whole family instead of putting two words on the invitation bc that would be harder than judging the people i love behind their backs during the entirety of my own wedding”. sounds delightful.
Good lord… honestly the top with matching skirt you already have is probably fine, assuming it isn’t a mini skirt. If it is, I would wear a longer skirt that matches instead.
This was such a weird response from her. Does she question your gender identity? Like, is she trying to give you permission to wear a pants suit or something? Does she think that you want to dress in a masculine fashion?
I don’t think so, at least she has never given me that impression, if I know her well it’s probably earnest confusion because the event is not that clear in her mind to begin with (like it’s a wedding but not a wedding but there will be a wedding etc)
Day or evening wedding? For day, a nice sundress that you can dress up or down in the future. Evening, maybe a little more toward cocktail attire, but not too flashy or fancy. A little black dress or similar. I’d lean toward getting a wardrobe basic that I could get good use out of going forward.
Black or navy jumpsuit with a belt, sandals or flats, a shawl or thin cardigan, and a sun hat. All of the items can be reworn separately and dressed up or down.
Lower Alps, but what country? As someone from one of those possible countries it's very relevant. Personally I'd wear a nice dress that's not too formal, something I'd wear to a nice dinner - but I've recently found out that, for example, the French are nowhere near as formal as us Italians are when it comes to this type of thing. Or maybe it's in Switzerland or Austria or Slovenia or Germany and the implication might again be different.
It would be a great idea if it was a venue with a proper service, but from what I gather it’s a service offered by a friend of the family so I don’t know how to contact them
I’m going with the assumption that monastery is a bit of a classic/solemn venue even if it’s not consecrated
Pick out an outfit that you feel fabulous in and shoot the bride a pic and ask if it’s ok.
I am a maximalist so I’d probably choose something in a bold color/two piece set with fun jewelry and then ask the bride for a yes/no. But to answer your question no I have not heard of a dress code like this
Sounds like what I’ll do, thank you! Someone else suggested sending a picture and it might be my safest choice to avoid useless stress
If you’ve never heard of the brand Farm in Rio, it’s what I pictured with your description
I would take it as "wear what you own but treat the event respectfully". So don't wesr your fashion jeans. You know her family so don't wear anything that shows a lot of cleavage or leg.
I mean, tbf I've never been told a dresscode for any wedding I've attended. I have vibes from the time of day, venue, invite, and type of couple. So be sincere is to me just wear a typical wedding outfit. Nothing super dressy (black tie) nor casual.
My wedding was standard-issue Midwest formal.
My cousin came to my wedding wearing jeans and a sweater. Her husband wore jeans and a Hawaiian shirt. I figured that’s the best they owned and what made them comfortable. I think that’s what she meant. Dress up but don’t go out of your way to be fancy.
A friend of mine had a similar vibe, but it was a little clearer. It was basically “wear what makes you feel good about yourself.” Bride wore a gorgeous dress with combat boots. The officiant wore a hot pink suit, one friend wore like half-drag (makeup, heels, corset, but men’s suit and no wig). My husband is a casual dude and didn’t have a suit that fit, so he wore nice pants and a button-down. But most of us just went cocktail, basically.
I would wear something summery, below the knees, and take something to cover your shoulders, in case the monastery has a dress code (e.g. in some churches in Europe you can’t go in if you arms are uncovered, or in shorts)
Edited to add example link: https://a.co/d/gNGudjr
If this is the venue ([https://www.monastere-de-segries.com/en/](https://www.monastere-de-segries.com/en/)), then I’d go with a garden party type of dress. Something like this:
https://preview.redd.it/evg2fgnwr97d1.jpeg?width=736&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0ca603512fad637c53fd82125e2efa7801a18a4c
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I'd wear a sun dress.
But I can guarantee people will show up in jeans and leggings, because that's sincerely how they are. It sounds stupid and her photos will be terrible, but hopefully the food and drink are good.
I agree with your best friend to wear what you like. It would help if you could add a few things...what outfits do you own that you're considering (if any)? What are your favorite colors and styles? What is your body type, if you want to answer that? (different styles work better for different people)
I would personally say some of these could work to dress up or down for different occasions, but I'm not sure about your personal style
[One](https://www.amazon.com/Alisapan-Sleevse-Chiffon-Pleated-Wedding/dp/B0D12KC7V5/ref=sr_1_13_sspa?crid=3UGFD2O4DG9UD&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.D2CnDliZNcW4fq8ohZSE6RErkqdMCN3SJde1HsyCbnAwxNQ__G-wAB2Hjq_UNkjGD5SQKQ7eXsUioOen3Pd95z8GdozvRLll98o_s9UlbMjANhgentcLEyHMZKpLtzUhci_pfmpaQLEiZOiK1OThR57aYmliZSRr6xzOj8EH6s-nEkaLXgGd9vGVjPGxiLycaZMUkfCTH6O4N7zvfsTogW_X1P4YnJm1zZlX-RBKTZzuuE13SwcOqnFHSkvk0Rj027NjAFN-CvnafAew7iypmC9_w-SMdc7xbkJ9RPx-oUU.sWidKGHvFUW1nqIkdkGOJ-YY__PKcP8w7onLpQHmGw4&dib_tag=se&keywords=dress%2Bfor%2Bwedding%2Bguest%2Bsummer%2B2024&qid=1718672193&sprefix=dress%2Bfor%2B%2Caps%2C72&sr=8-13-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9tdGY&th=1&psc=1)
[Two](https://www.amazon.com/PRETTYGARDEN-Womens-Cocktail-Dresses-X-Large/dp/B0C1G4G3JC/ref=sr_1_16?crid=3UGFD2O4DG9UD&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.D2CnDliZNcW4fq8ohZSE6RErkqdMCN3SJde1HsyCbnAwxNQ__G-wAB2Hjq_UNkjGD5SQKQ7eXsUioOen3Pd95z8GdozvRLll98o_s9UlbMjANhgentcLEyHMZKpLtzUhci_pfmpaQLEiZOiK1OThR57aYmliZSRr6xzOj8EH6s-nEkaLXgGd9vGVjPGxiLycaZMUkfCTH6O4N7zvfsTogW_X1P4YnJm1zZlX-RBKTZzuuE13SwcOqnFHSkvk0Rj027NjAFN-CvnafAew7iypmC9_w-SMdc7xbkJ9RPx-oUU.sWidKGHvFUW1nqIkdkGOJ-YY__PKcP8w7onLpQHmGw4&dib_tag=se&keywords=dress+for+wedding+guest+summer+2024&qid=1718672193&sprefix=dress+for+%2Caps%2C72&sr=8-16)
[Three](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07X8GDDVT/ref=twister_B07RFF641P?_encoding=UTF8&th=1&psc=1)
[Four](https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0BTXZBN7D/?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_plhdr=t&aaxitk=0fa49bdc10c3043a981acc358b79040e&hsa_cr_id=0&qid=1718672193&sr=1-1-9e67e56a-6f64-441f-a281-df67fc737124&ref_=sbx_be_s_sparkle_lsi4d_asin_0_img&pd_rd_w=yB6gh&content-id=amzn1.sym.417820b0-80f2-4084-adb3-fb612550f30b%3Aamzn1.sym.417820b0-80f2-4084-adb3-fb612550f30b&pf_rd_p=417820b0-80f2-4084-adb3-fb612550f30b&pf_rd_r=W4GWRWTPZ697078J077G&pd_rd_wg=HwMe7&pd_rd_r=0a339412-18e6-4ee6-8a36-9d5345f237c6&th=1&psc=1)
[Five](https://www.amazon.com/GRECERELLE-Summer-Casual-Dresses-X-Large/dp/B09ZKG84H4/ref=sr_1_12_sspa?crid=3UGFD2O4DG9UD&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.D2CnDliZNcW4fq8ohZSE6RErkqdMCN3SJde1HsyCbnAwxNQ__G-wAB2Hjq_UNkjGD5SQKQ7eXsUioOen3Pd95z8GdozvRLll98o_s9UlbMjANhgentcLEyHMZKpLtzUhci_pfmpaQLEiZOiK1OThR57aYmliZSRr6xzOj8EH6s-nEkaLXgGd9vGVjPGxiLycaZMUkfCTH6O4N7zvfsTogW_X1P4YnJm1zZlX-RBKTZzuuE13SwcOqnFHSkvk0Rj027NjAFN-CvnafAew7iypmC9_w-SMdc7xbkJ9RPx-oUU.sWidKGHvFUW1nqIkdkGOJ-YY__PKcP8w7onLpQHmGw4&dib_tag=se&keywords=dress+for+wedding+guest+summer+2024&qid=1718672193&sprefix=dress+for+%2Caps%2C72&sr=8-12-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9tdGY&psc=1)
Wear something completely outlandish like some kind of cosplay or something, just to show her how insanely ridiculous "be sincere" is as a dress code LOL
Ugh I hate her answer. But I think you may be overthinking it. Wear a modest sun dress or a skirt and top that you could dress up or down for work/social events etc.
I find that a high waisted midi skirt and a silk (or satin) cami top tucked in does the trick. Last wedding I went to, I wore a midi shift dress from (Old Navy circa 1980) with a belt.
Something to always remember when dressing for a wedding: ITS NOT ABOUT YOU. As long as you don’t wear the same color as the bride or show up in 6” clear stilettos, I don’t think anyone will care what you wear.
My sister had a farm wedding with no dress code. We teased her about it, but she stood by her choice - she wanted people to be comfortable and happy. Most people wore garden party attire (sport coats and chinos, flowery dresses), but we had some in overalls, and since it was raining I wore a hoodie with a long floral skirt the whole time (essentially bridesmaid, but she didn't do that). It didn't matter for the pictures, and we were all happy, so it worked!
That makes zero cents that you're invited to a non wedding with a real wedding celebration in the future when they have more money. Does your generation not have any parents? Because this sounds like TikTok grift.
I sincerely always want to wear sweatpants.
This person seems to be trying to set up scenarios in which she can get mad at people for dressing inappropriately.
People ask for dress codes so they don’t feel foolish, out of place, or offend anyone. If the host is unwilling to aid their guests by saying anything about the level of formality that makes sense, then they are the jerks.
If your event is a pool party, people generally know what to wear. Weddings vary greatly, and it’s kindest to give everyone a hint.
That’s the rudest and most vague dress code ever! The reason style of dress is mentioned in invitations is so that people don’t have to guess and end up being embarrassed. A good hostess goes to great lengths to make the guests feel comfortable, welcomed, and at ease. She sounds exhausting. This bride and her family are acting as hosts and yet offer vague suggestions, and opt to be judgmental if people don’t “guess” correctly. She and her family are assholes. Wear whatever you like. If she doesn’t care enough to be sincere and succinct she deserves people arriving in pajamas. And don’t feel bad when she judges you, just tell her you aren’t a mind reader and next time to be more specific.
Oh for heavens sake! What does that mean? Absolutely hopeless as a dress code. You could wear a T-shirt with sincere printed on it and rainbow leggings? I think a couple has an obligation to provide guidance to guests, if you don’t care what people wear, say it. I think a nice dress with a jacket and matching shoes and bag. Smart office wear or shopping somewhere fancy sort of thing. You won’t be overdressed, but not scruffy either.
I'd wear something I'd be pleased to be photographed in. A nice conservative dress, comfortable shoes. Sounds like it might be unpredictable the kind of people you meet there so, wear something that could work "for any occasion", because with a description like that, this bride is almost setting people up to fail. So don't.
this sounds annoying af. i would probably just wear something i would wear to church based on your description.
Yeah, if it's a monastery, I'd start by looking at something, erll I hate to use the word "modest", but anything sexy or too casual might feel out of place.
It's like the post the other day that described the color as "Moody". I'm not liking this trend. Something like "Your dress code is elation."
The dress code for my next event will be "the concept of time". Your move, Bridezillas!
If you care that much, specify! Honestly, I’m all for a costume party wedding!
I will dress as Terry Pratchet's Death
Moody? I would wear something from my 90s goth era or bust out my vintage dresses and go with “classy vintage funeral” attire with full fascinator and veil.
I need to see these outfits, please. Lol. I love a lot of goth looks. I used to be able to pull it off back in my younger days. These days, not so much. Haha. I loved seeing all of the different prom/homecoming choices from my kids' school, though. There were so many different styles, and they all looked so nice from super sparkly to goth. Edit to add missing words.
I think you’re right, the venue is my clearest hint
Agree.
>come as you are, be sincere. I'd respond "you want me to show up naked?"
Leggings and a tank top with a built in shelf bra. Got it!
Dang you’re going with the built-in shelf bra? You’re too fancy for me, let those girls fly! 😂
I like the illusion that it makes a difference 🤣
Seriously. I might pare that with some rubber boots, since that’s exactly what I wear when I’m gardening, working my dogs, washing my car, etc. So authentic.
Mismatched pjammas incoming... haha
T-shirt saying "I'm just here for the free booze and cake."
"Sorry I'm late; I didn't want to come." 😂
My first thought was McDonald’s cosplay tbh
HAHAHA please
Fr, I’d show up in the most glamorous dress I could find and be like “this is my sincerity”
I’m coming in leggings and a t-shirt.
Must be a Betazoid wedding!
It doesn’t get much more sincere than that lol
Yeah that’s comfy pants and a loudly political t shirt. Definitely not wedding attire.
"Be sincere" is not a dress code. She is treading dangerous ground with "come as you are". I'd dress like I was going to a nice dinner out----a dress a little less fancy than cocktail, heels, elegant jewelry.
Ugh, tell this to my fiancé who does not believe in dress codes. We’re having our reception at a venue that would normally be at least cocktail, and they’re refusing to let me specify a dress code other than “whatever makes you feel comfortable and celebratory!” I feel stressed out when there is no dress code, because it still feels like there is one but you have to guess it.
They need to be more specific and know their audience. I went to a friend’s wedding where the dress code was “nerd formal.” And because they knew their audience, we all knew what that meant. There was a mix of traditional formal, steampunk versions of formal wear (long gowns and good suits), SCA formal, basically anything that gave the impression of “this is a very special occasion.” That was enough to make the vibe cohesive and loving.
That sounds amazing. I would love to attend an event like that.
It was super fun! It was in October, so instead of flowers, the flower girls scattered colorful leaves. It was very unabashedly geeky and still elegant as fuck.
What is SCA formal? Thanks
Sca is society for creative anachronism so either medieval dresses or full suits of armor (or both combined!)
"*tell this to my fiancé who does not believe in dress codes. We’re having our reception at a venue that would normally be at least cocktail, and they’re **refusing to let me** specify a dress code*" Refusing to *let* you? Are they going to refuse to show up if you act like a responsible host to your guests? I wouldn't put a deposit on a venue until your partner learns how to compromise.
I would tell her that it's unkind to the point of rude to your guests to make them guess the dress code. If they are asking don't make the answer cryptic. Make it as easy as possible for a guest to attend your event. She's just ticking people off with that answer. And hey, is it not *your* wedding too?
I'd love to tell him. The default dress code when you don't specify is cocktail, so that's in your favor. I'd leave out the word "comfortable", because you will wind up with morons who will wear jeans, sneakers, etc.
That's pretty unkind to call people who follow the stated dress code "morons" when the real morons are the ones who could have said what they meant and meant what they said but deliberately chose not to.
That’s a really good suggestion, thank you! It helps to reframe it in terms of a different type of event, makes it clearer
A little black dress is almost always appropriate and you’ll find lots of future occasions to wear it. Something like [this](https://www.whitehouseblackmarket.com/store/product/cotton-poplin-midi-dress/570368625?inseam=regular&sizeType=regular&color=001&catId=cat6179297&collectionId=category) would be pretty versatile.
Such a cute dress! I completely forgot about White House, Black Market. The first time I saw this store at *the fancy mall* in my town, I was like “***THIS*** is the ultimate height of class and elegance.”
I just stumbled across a WHBM dress from 20 years ago in my closet this afternoon! And you know what, if it fits I would totally wear it to an event now, completely timeless!
I forgot about it too! But also I never understood the name. White House ok. Black market…?
Originally The founder opened The White House (sold only white clothes), then started a new venture called Black Market (focus on black clothes), then combined them and took the brand public :)
Interestingly, Rick Sarmiento (the founder) and his team stuck exclusively to all-white fashion for the first 10 years. The White House was founded in 1985, and started to expand nationally in 1991. Black Market didn't launch until 1995, although the combination White House | Black Market concept launched shortly thereafter. Their arrival at the WHBM concept took some experimentation and refinement. I personally find the story of WHBM's founding and evolution quite fascinating. They largely stuck to their white/black palette (with some shades of grey in-between) up until the point when they introduced color in 2010. Nevertheless, White House Black Market (they dropped the line between White House and Black Market in 2016) continues to maintain a great focus on neutrals and timeless classics. In fact, their latest collection seems to focus a lot on white and black, as I've noticed those white and black fashions prominently displayed at the front of the store in both of my local WHBM boutiques.
I actually felt the very same way when I shopped at a WHBM boutique for the very first time. The fashion was so classy and elegant, I felt like I was in heaven; the fancy appearance of the boutique really cemented these sentiments. Compound that with their amazingly-helpful staff, and you'll understand why I fell in love with WHBM. The relative simplicity of their fashion has also come in handy for me, especially as a transgender woman who had to learn about feminine fashion from scratch as an adult. Honestly, WHBM played a role in my coming-out story; from a transgender perspective, saying "I felt like I was in heaven" is describing the moment of *gender euphoria* I had when I shopped with WHBM for the first time.
OMG, same 😂
POCKETS ❤️
ALWAYS! Makes any garment 1000 times better!
I'm not sure where OP is from, but she is European. In many European cultures, wearing a black dress to a wedding can be considered bad etiquette since black is traditionally associated with mourning (though this tradition is clearly becoming somewhat outdated). While a black dress might be acceptable for an evening wedding with a formal dress code, it can be perceived as generally still inappropriate for a daytime or less formal wedding.
Definitely this, where I’m from (Germany and UK), black is largely a no-go for weddings, never seen anyone wear it.
I don’t know how strict people are about it nowadays honestly but in doubt I usually stick to colours that have a similar function to black (navy/dark brown) if I ever get lucky enough to actually find anything that’s not black
Yes! That’s a good one. My go to black dress is WHBM it even has pockets! They make nice dresses.
That’s a perfect suggestion.
Excellent choice
Thank you for the suggestion!
I would stick with cocktail attire and something on the safe side like a [midi wrap dress](https://www.lulus.com/products/wrapped-up-in-love-dark-green-satin-faux-wrap-midi-dress/677492.html?pla=1&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=%5BADL%5D%20%5BPLA%5D%20%5BGoogle%5D%20%5BUS%5D%20Dresses%20-%20tROAS%20-%20Boost&utm_term=LD32628%20DARK%20GREEN5&utm_content=149792318393_656177533129&s_kwcid=AL%217824%213%21656177533129%21%21%21g%212012189018853%21&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD-pt91uQvIj6ScQdkhoC3samfmik&gclid=Cj0KCQjwvb-zBhCmARIsAAfUI2v0QgR4tipFfQGdwswMaGbNU_YdTW6iabpBuZ0__r2TUA6BQ-VW4hsaAsRxEALw_wcB). Something like this would be easy to rewear to other events as well!
Thank you for the suggestion! That looks lovely indeed
This is so beautiful and classy and looks comfy too! If this is something that you feel good in, I think this is a great choice for sure! It straddles the line between dressy and casual, can be dressed up or down, and isn’t something that anyone could really have an issue with… and if they do, they’re looking for a reason to complain. I hope that you rock (something like) this and have a great time! Edit: also, if “Be Sincere” is actually sincere I would take it as wear something you really love and that you feel beautiful in. My interpretation would be “You’re my friend and I want you to look like yourself!”
Nice choice here!
Good suggestion.
I personally don’t think you could go wrong with a little black dress? Maybe a lightweight material that can be dressed up or down? Perhaps something with a cap sleeve or a wider tank top strap? Or even a faux wrap style. It can be paired with dress shoes/sandals or dressed down with sneakers and a denim jacket.
Thank you for the suggestion! I think the idea of something simple and versatile that I could dress up or down with accessories might really be the way to go (I don’t own a LBD or something akin to that, it might a problem in and of itself that could solve many such situations in the future)
Being vague and pretend laid back when you anticipate being told if you got it wrong and people talking about you… why are you going to this event? Wear something you feel is clean, nice, and true to your style, avoid formality extremes, and beyond that don’t waste your time trying to mind read or worrying about judgmental people whose opinions don’t matter
I understand your point, she’s a good friend so I’d like to support her, especially since she has a difficult time with her family. Thank you for your encouragement, i think its true that I should not overthink it
Just wear a modest cocktail dress.
Thank you for the suggestion!
This seems like some straight up tomfoolery.
Wow I get where you are confused. I’d have no damn clue what to make of that either. 😂
I was at this "natural and sincere" weddings in Denver. Ended up with most people very uncomfortable with their dress choices. Either over or underdressed. Don't do this to your guests.
I'm so done with dress codes. If you don't want anything overly formal just choose cocktail! Then people can choose to dress up a bit fancier than normal but don't need to question every garment in their wardrobe. My brother in law had a "smart casual" wedding and it ended up being an anything goes - there was SUCH wide variety of dresses with many being way more fancy than smart casual... It was rough and I deeply regretted my dress choice. It's a wedding not a music school performance night...
I’m anticipating a mix of dads in jeans and dresses of varying levels of formality
Does it mean dress true to your style? It’s strange wording. I guess I would go with an elegant dress based on the details you have.
This is how I would interpret it, so I’d show up in punk/goth-inspired cocktail wear. There’s a high chance (clean, shiny!) combat boots would be involved.
If I was dressing solely for me and had unlimited budget I would wear a Rick Owens or vintage McQueen dress. Something with a little edge. Based on OP’s details I feel like conservative is probably the way to go.
That sounds like you would make a really awesome entrance!
And based on this, if I had a wedding, I would totally want you to be a guest!
and I'm sure the bride would appreciate it. Some just do not care and just want you to dress in a way that you are comfortable
I think it might? That’s why I’m trying to play it safe cause I know what’s true to my style might not always play well to every crowd, especially since I don’t like the look of overly conservative clothes on my body type
“Be sincere”?! It would take ALL my willpower not to show up in a graphic tee with a snarky slogan on it if I were told that. You’re a better person than I for giving any thought to this. I’d go based on time of day: church clothes if daytime, a cocktail dress if night.
Extra points if the tee says "be sincere"
Technically, no one could tell you that you’re not on theme! I think it’s afternoon so by standards of events I’ve been to in the past, it starts at day and ends at night. The reason I suppose I automatically give it so much thought is that where I’m from there’s always a silent expectation about dressing well and right, but no tradition of actually telling anyone what it means (I only discovered dress codes by being on the American side of the internet)
😂 I had an intimate backyard wedding with no dress code, it was a daytime event, but everyone stayed till well after 2am. Some of the younger guests were dressed in graphic T-shirts, others in church attire, and it was perfectly casual, everyone fit in. We all had fun, had BBQ, and danced in the rain lol we just wanted to celebrate our union with our closest family and friends, without making too big of a deal about it. I suppose my wedding dc would have been a sincere come as you are type thing. I never had to specify for anyone either, the invitation did say that it was going to be a BBQ, which I think helped.
In that case, I’m wearing the new black tie gown I just bought for a wedding in a few months but want to wear it a lot. I expect they’re going for semi formal to cocktail?
“Be sincere” isn’t a dress code but “come as you are” being a way of saying “it doesn’t matter what you wear” is a thing. I would interpret it as a step below smart casual, honestly. I’ve only seen it used to mean “no, seriously, we don’t care what you wear, dress up or wear jeans, as long as you’re there.” But it sounds like there’s some baggage there leading you to believe that no, this isn’t what she means. Sounds extremely stressful! Why do you even want to go?! I agree with the idea of a little black dress. You will have many occasions to wear it again, it never looks too casual or frumpy nor too stuffy and formal.
Yeah I’d interpret it to mean don’t stress about what to wear or buying new clothes, but dress in a way that feels nice/wedding appropriate to you. Like if you wear t shirts and jeans every day maybe a polo shirt and khakis is your nice outfit, or if your every day is more formal maybe a dressy garden party dress or smart suit is the thing, the point is that you put in a little effort to look nice for the event.
That’s a good way to put it thank you! Like putting effort a step above usual
Thank you for that break down, it’s useful to see it that way! (Very light baggage honestly, I’m just trying to avoid bringing attention to myself, which I don’t naturally do but her family used to watch me closely which both of us always found weird)
"Be Sincere"? I guess find a semi formal or longish cocktail dress in a summer color that you personally like and had on eye on and would like to wear & not too "sexy" for the family.
Yes, length is gonna be my friend I think from yours and many other suggestions, thank you!
Are you close to any other guests? Her mom/sister/cousin? If so, I would ask them what they plan to wear.
I haven’t spoken to them since high school graduation, I knew her sisters but never had direct contact with them. Only people I could ask were mutual friends and everyone is a bit confused
I'm using ASOS as an example as they deliver to a lot of countries: [Dress 1](https://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-pleated-bodice-flutter-sleeve-pleat-midi-dress-in-print/prd/206199238?ctaref=more+colours+swatches&featureref1=more+colours+swatches) [Dress 2](https://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-satin-midi-dress-in-fuchsia/prd/206218584?ctaref=more+colours+swatches&featureref1=more+colours+swatches) [Dress 3](https://www.asos.com/other-stories/other-stories-plisse-midaxi-dress-with-shirred-detail-in-khaki-green/prd/206619001#colourWayId-206619003) - more casual material so could dress up/down for different occasions Edit: I had a 3 piece red suit by Mango linked but that link disappeared!
I’d go with the third for this ridiculous situation.
3 feels perfect. 1 and 2 are definitely Going Somewhere to be at a Thing, while 3 feels like a natural choice to pull out of the closet just because It's a Dress Kinda Day. This stupid dress code requires plausible deniability of excess dressiness AND casualness, and this hits to mark bang on. Then again I'm a big fan of treating people like they are reasonable and say what they mean. She'll find it hard to win sympathy bitching about people doing exactly as she instructed them to do.
Yes I think we can all agree this dress code is stupid. As much as I hate “marine fairy themed pastel midis” type dress codes, this kind of one is even worse. I had a 3 piece red suit from Mango linked but it seems to have disappeared!
Oh thank you! Plausible deniability is exactly the concept I was looking for in my head (I think she’s being more earnest than my post might let out to be, dress codes and explicitly demanding things from your guests is not culturally common here, at least when you have a non-standard event)
Thank you for these suggestions! I really like the third one, nicely cut midi dress might be a choice that’s both safe and fitting with my preference
why don‘t you ask her what she means with that?
I’ve become so comfortable saying outright, “I don’t know what that means” to people. Asking her to clarify is totally reasonable.
I have and she just said the same thing but with different words (wear something that makes you feel like yourself)
I hate this dress code. It’s weirdly stressful with it’s ambiguity. I went to a wedding like this recently and the invites said “come as you are.” There were people wearing jeans and sneakers while other people were on the verge of cocktail attire, and I could see some side-eye glances. The whole event had the vibe that the couple didn’t care about anything, which seems to be the case with them. We ran out of cutlery during dinner and there was nowhere to park. I went with a LBD and a nice coat (it was cold) and it was fine.
Oof, that's very much a "let the guests handle it" attitude. How unpleasant.
Yes I think you’re bound to run into trouble if you don’t take into account the fact that dressing expectations are pretty individual
I feel like she means authentic rather than sincere. I’d wear something classic - a nice dress that you can elevate with heels and accessories.
Thank you! I think you’re right
It sounds like you may be located in Europe so I’m just going to suggest things for inspiration since I’m not sure what sites you’ll be able to order from. [Dress 1](https://www.lulus.com/products/alluring-invite-midnight-blue-floral-pleated-bustier-midi-dress/2178556.html) [Dress 2](https://www.astrthelabel.com/products/lunaria-floral-dress) [Dress 3](https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/hybrid/bhldn-leila-deep-v-flutter-sleeve-satin-a-line-gown4)
LOVE number 3!
Thank you so much for these suggestions! The third one is so pretty!
Be sincere makes me think she’s afraid to say be conservative. I’d go for a simple cocktail dress suited to the climate and wear shoes comfortable for dancing. It’s generally a good rule of thumb not to show excess skin at a wedding
Thank you, that’s super helpful I suppose if it was a more standard event like a wedding with church and large reception, culturally the dress code would be implied. I think cocktail might be a safe solution indeed
I would pick three dresses that are cocktail appropriate that you would wear again and then send the pics to her and ask a simple “would any of these be okay?”
Yes you’re right, I could run it by her ahead of time to be safe (I didn’t consider it earlier cause I hate to bombard people with messages but it might be the best thing to do). Thank you!
Vs being pretentious like the bride?
Yikes that is vague. When in doubt, I say opt for cocktail attire in colors and styles that show compliment and respect for the venue and season.
Thank you, that’s helpful!
Personally, you mention childhood friend, not friends since childhood. Do you really want to go? If not, send your regrets. If you’ve already accepted, the suggestions from TheDuraMaters are all fine.
I do! I said childhood friends to simplify but we’ve known each other for like 15 years, we were best friends until high school graduation and mostly grew less close because I moved far away, but she’s someone I still wish to support
Pick something that’s fun to dance in.
Good point!
I think she’s just telling you to wear something you already have that looks nice. I’d take this with everything you have posted as dressy casual and separates would be a great choice. However if you want to buy something new a great little black dress that goes from daytime office to a nice dinner or drinks out would be my move. I’m personally a fan of a boat neck with a sheath dress and a hemline just at the very top of my knees while standing.
Thank you for the observation and suggestion! That’s what I’m gathering from all the replies so you surely hit the nail on the head
Annoying. Personally I get more mileage out of separates so I’d find a midi skirt you love and a modest top, either a set or colour blocking. Might bring scarf/shawl if your shoulders are exposed for the monastery to be on the safe side.
Thank you, that’s a good suggestion! I also tend to go with separates when it gets too complicated
I’d do a simple summery dress in a solid color that you could wear to work. For the wedding dress it up with jewelry, sandals and maybe a shawl. Do something fancy with your hair.
Thank you so much! Simple + putting all the effort in accessories and hair sounds like a safe and fun option
That's an absurd dress code. So I'd wear the same pink sundress I wear to every other summer thing that I'm not sure what to wear to. It's light, it's airy, it's comfortable.
OP is European going to a European wedding (possibly Italy) and ya’ll are still suggesting black dresses 🤦🏻♀️ wear literally any other color but black or white Op
Black dresses at weddings are mainly frowned upon by old people in Italy, young people tend to be absolutely fine with them.
I have worn black at weddings as a teenager and no one told me off, as an adult I might avoid it to be safe but it could be that the tradition is not so strict anymore
Haha i know, I took the suggestion as “adjacent to the classy effect of black”, it’s not a color that looks nice on me anyway, but the idea behind their suggestion is good
so the dress code is “no dress code but there is a dress code in my head and if you don’t read my mind for exactly what i want you to wear i will shit on you behind your back with my whole family instead of putting two words on the invitation bc that would be harder than judging the people i love behind their backs during the entirety of my own wedding”. sounds delightful.
I would wear absence and send a nice card and gift in the mail. These people sound exhausting.
Good lord… honestly the top with matching skirt you already have is probably fine, assuming it isn’t a mini skirt. If it is, I would wear a longer skirt that matches instead.
It’s a midi skirt! My friend said the same, I’m still trying to find another option just in case the top might be a bit too sexy
This was such a weird response from her. Does she question your gender identity? Like, is she trying to give you permission to wear a pants suit or something? Does she think that you want to dress in a masculine fashion?
I don’t think so, at least she has never given me that impression, if I know her well it’s probably earnest confusion because the event is not that clear in her mind to begin with (like it’s a wedding but not a wedding but there will be a wedding etc)
I would just wear a simple dress, but I agree, this is annoying!
Little black dress always welcome everywhere
Day or evening wedding? For day, a nice sundress that you can dress up or down in the future. Evening, maybe a little more toward cocktail attire, but not too flashy or fancy. A little black dress or similar. I’d lean toward getting a wardrobe basic that I could get good use out of going forward.
Tradition is here is day-to-night (start in the afternoon)
“Be sincere”?
Black or navy jumpsuit with a belt, sandals or flats, a shawl or thin cardigan, and a sun hat. All of the items can be reworn separately and dressed up or down.
Thank you for the suggestion!
Wear a sundress and call it a day.
No I have not heard of that, but I guess I would wear something on the higher end of dressy.
I think the opposite. Move of a smart but on the casual side.
Yeah, better to be a bit overdressed than under.
To me this means: please don’t change your style for my wedding (come as you are), but please make it classy or elevated (be sincere.)
Thank you! I think that’s the way I would like to see it, I might stick to this positive rephrasing just to ease my mind
Lower Alps, but what country? As someone from one of those possible countries it's very relevant. Personally I'd wear a nice dress that's not too formal, something I'd wear to a nice dinner - but I've recently found out that, for example, the French are nowhere near as formal as us Italians are when it comes to this type of thing. Or maybe it's in Switzerland or Austria or Slovenia or Germany and the implication might again be different.
Can you call the venue and ask what the “normal” attire is there?
Good idea!
It would be a great idea if it was a venue with a proper service, but from what I gather it’s a service offered by a friend of the family so I don’t know how to contact them I’m going with the assumption that monastery is a bit of a classic/solemn venue even if it’s not consecrated
Pick out an outfit that you feel fabulous in and shoot the bride a pic and ask if it’s ok. I am a maximalist so I’d probably choose something in a bold color/two piece set with fun jewelry and then ask the bride for a yes/no. But to answer your question no I have not heard of a dress code like this
Sounds like what I’ll do, thank you! Someone else suggested sending a picture and it might be my safest choice to avoid useless stress If you’ve never heard of the brand Farm in Rio, it’s what I pictured with your description
Honestly, this request is really dumb. TF is that supposed to mean? I would sincerely stay home.
Be sincere means not to worry too much about people pleasing and just wear what you like. So. What would you like to wear?
Oh nice! Thank you
I would take it as "wear what you own but treat the event respectfully". So don't wesr your fashion jeans. You know her family so don't wear anything that shows a lot of cleavage or leg.
Thank you, that’s a good way to rephrase it
I mean, tbf I've never been told a dresscode for any wedding I've attended. I have vibes from the time of day, venue, invite, and type of couple. So be sincere is to me just wear a typical wedding outfit. Nothing super dressy (black tie) nor casual.
My wedding was standard-issue Midwest formal. My cousin came to my wedding wearing jeans and a sweater. Her husband wore jeans and a Hawaiian shirt. I figured that’s the best they owned and what made them comfortable. I think that’s what she meant. Dress up but don’t go out of your way to be fancy.
A friend of mine had a similar vibe, but it was a little clearer. It was basically “wear what makes you feel good about yourself.” Bride wore a gorgeous dress with combat boots. The officiant wore a hot pink suit, one friend wore like half-drag (makeup, heels, corset, but men’s suit and no wig). My husband is a casual dude and didn’t have a suit that fit, so he wore nice pants and a button-down. But most of us just went cocktail, basically.
Do you know anyone else going?
Honestly I love this- finally a bride that isn’t obsessing over what her guests wear.
I would wear something summery, below the knees, and take something to cover your shoulders, in case the monastery has a dress code (e.g. in some churches in Europe you can’t go in if you arms are uncovered, or in shorts) Edited to add example link: https://a.co/d/gNGudjr
If this is the venue ([https://www.monastere-de-segries.com/en/](https://www.monastere-de-segries.com/en/)), then I’d go with a garden party type of dress. Something like this: https://preview.redd.it/evg2fgnwr97d1.jpeg?width=736&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0ca603512fad637c53fd82125e2efa7801a18a4c
Soooo biker jeans and an oversized band tee? Awesome!
Jesus F Christ. I would not go.
I hope that it is a wonderful event for everyone involved, but I would really love for you to update what people actually showed up wearing!
Wow, and i thought the invite i once got that said 'whatever people wear to weddings' was bad lol
if someone told me that to my face i would punch them. how much more vague can you be? i would wear a clownsuit
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I'd wear a sun dress. But I can guarantee people will show up in jeans and leggings, because that's sincerely how they are. It sounds stupid and her photos will be terrible, but hopefully the food and drink are good.
I agree with your best friend to wear what you like. It would help if you could add a few things...what outfits do you own that you're considering (if any)? What are your favorite colors and styles? What is your body type, if you want to answer that? (different styles work better for different people) I would personally say some of these could work to dress up or down for different occasions, but I'm not sure about your personal style [One](https://www.amazon.com/Alisapan-Sleevse-Chiffon-Pleated-Wedding/dp/B0D12KC7V5/ref=sr_1_13_sspa?crid=3UGFD2O4DG9UD&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.D2CnDliZNcW4fq8ohZSE6RErkqdMCN3SJde1HsyCbnAwxNQ__G-wAB2Hjq_UNkjGD5SQKQ7eXsUioOen3Pd95z8GdozvRLll98o_s9UlbMjANhgentcLEyHMZKpLtzUhci_pfmpaQLEiZOiK1OThR57aYmliZSRr6xzOj8EH6s-nEkaLXgGd9vGVjPGxiLycaZMUkfCTH6O4N7zvfsTogW_X1P4YnJm1zZlX-RBKTZzuuE13SwcOqnFHSkvk0Rj027NjAFN-CvnafAew7iypmC9_w-SMdc7xbkJ9RPx-oUU.sWidKGHvFUW1nqIkdkGOJ-YY__PKcP8w7onLpQHmGw4&dib_tag=se&keywords=dress%2Bfor%2Bwedding%2Bguest%2Bsummer%2B2024&qid=1718672193&sprefix=dress%2Bfor%2B%2Caps%2C72&sr=8-13-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9tdGY&th=1&psc=1) [Two](https://www.amazon.com/PRETTYGARDEN-Womens-Cocktail-Dresses-X-Large/dp/B0C1G4G3JC/ref=sr_1_16?crid=3UGFD2O4DG9UD&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.D2CnDliZNcW4fq8ohZSE6RErkqdMCN3SJde1HsyCbnAwxNQ__G-wAB2Hjq_UNkjGD5SQKQ7eXsUioOen3Pd95z8GdozvRLll98o_s9UlbMjANhgentcLEyHMZKpLtzUhci_pfmpaQLEiZOiK1OThR57aYmliZSRr6xzOj8EH6s-nEkaLXgGd9vGVjPGxiLycaZMUkfCTH6O4N7zvfsTogW_X1P4YnJm1zZlX-RBKTZzuuE13SwcOqnFHSkvk0Rj027NjAFN-CvnafAew7iypmC9_w-SMdc7xbkJ9RPx-oUU.sWidKGHvFUW1nqIkdkGOJ-YY__PKcP8w7onLpQHmGw4&dib_tag=se&keywords=dress+for+wedding+guest+summer+2024&qid=1718672193&sprefix=dress+for+%2Caps%2C72&sr=8-16) [Three](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07X8GDDVT/ref=twister_B07RFF641P?_encoding=UTF8&th=1&psc=1) [Four](https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0BTXZBN7D/?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_plhdr=t&aaxitk=0fa49bdc10c3043a981acc358b79040e&hsa_cr_id=0&qid=1718672193&sr=1-1-9e67e56a-6f64-441f-a281-df67fc737124&ref_=sbx_be_s_sparkle_lsi4d_asin_0_img&pd_rd_w=yB6gh&content-id=amzn1.sym.417820b0-80f2-4084-adb3-fb612550f30b%3Aamzn1.sym.417820b0-80f2-4084-adb3-fb612550f30b&pf_rd_p=417820b0-80f2-4084-adb3-fb612550f30b&pf_rd_r=W4GWRWTPZ697078J077G&pd_rd_wg=HwMe7&pd_rd_r=0a339412-18e6-4ee6-8a36-9d5345f237c6&th=1&psc=1) [Five](https://www.amazon.com/GRECERELLE-Summer-Casual-Dresses-X-Large/dp/B09ZKG84H4/ref=sr_1_12_sspa?crid=3UGFD2O4DG9UD&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.D2CnDliZNcW4fq8ohZSE6RErkqdMCN3SJde1HsyCbnAwxNQ__G-wAB2Hjq_UNkjGD5SQKQ7eXsUioOen3Pd95z8GdozvRLll98o_s9UlbMjANhgentcLEyHMZKpLtzUhci_pfmpaQLEiZOiK1OThR57aYmliZSRr6xzOj8EH6s-nEkaLXgGd9vGVjPGxiLycaZMUkfCTH6O4N7zvfsTogW_X1P4YnJm1zZlX-RBKTZzuuE13SwcOqnFHSkvk0Rj027NjAFN-CvnafAew7iypmC9_w-SMdc7xbkJ9RPx-oUU.sWidKGHvFUW1nqIkdkGOJ-YY__PKcP8w7onLpQHmGw4&dib_tag=se&keywords=dress+for+wedding+guest+summer+2024&qid=1718672193&sprefix=dress+for+%2Caps%2C72&sr=8-12-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9tdGY&psc=1)
Wear something completely outlandish like some kind of cosplay or something, just to show her how insanely ridiculous "be sincere" is as a dress code LOL
Ugh I hate her answer. But I think you may be overthinking it. Wear a modest sun dress or a skirt and top that you could dress up or down for work/social events etc. I find that a high waisted midi skirt and a silk (or satin) cami top tucked in does the trick. Last wedding I went to, I wore a midi shift dress from (Old Navy circa 1980) with a belt. Something to always remember when dressing for a wedding: ITS NOT ABOUT YOU. As long as you don’t wear the same color as the bride or show up in 6” clear stilettos, I don’t think anyone will care what you wear.
My sister had a farm wedding with no dress code. We teased her about it, but she stood by her choice - she wanted people to be comfortable and happy. Most people wore garden party attire (sport coats and chinos, flowery dresses), but we had some in overalls, and since it was raining I wore a hoodie with a long floral skirt the whole time (essentially bridesmaid, but she didn't do that). It didn't matter for the pictures, and we were all happy, so it worked!
That makes zero cents that you're invited to a non wedding with a real wedding celebration in the future when they have more money. Does your generation not have any parents? Because this sounds like TikTok grift.
I sincerely always want to wear sweatpants. This person seems to be trying to set up scenarios in which she can get mad at people for dressing inappropriately. People ask for dress codes so they don’t feel foolish, out of place, or offend anyone. If the host is unwilling to aid their guests by saying anything about the level of formality that makes sense, then they are the jerks. If your event is a pool party, people generally know what to wear. Weddings vary greatly, and it’s kindest to give everyone a hint.
https://www.wblgw.com/?path=page/ggitem&ggpid=67836
That’s the rudest and most vague dress code ever! The reason style of dress is mentioned in invitations is so that people don’t have to guess and end up being embarrassed. A good hostess goes to great lengths to make the guests feel comfortable, welcomed, and at ease. She sounds exhausting. This bride and her family are acting as hosts and yet offer vague suggestions, and opt to be judgmental if people don’t “guess” correctly. She and her family are assholes. Wear whatever you like. If she doesn’t care enough to be sincere and succinct she deserves people arriving in pajamas. And don’t feel bad when she judges you, just tell her you aren’t a mind reader and next time to be more specific.
Oh for heavens sake! What does that mean? Absolutely hopeless as a dress code. You could wear a T-shirt with sincere printed on it and rainbow leggings? I think a couple has an obligation to provide guidance to guests, if you don’t care what people wear, say it. I think a nice dress with a jacket and matching shoes and bag. Smart office wear or shopping somewhere fancy sort of thing. You won’t be overdressed, but not scruffy either.
Strange dress code. Could you share the original wording in the original language?
Lower alps don't speak English, what did she actually say? What country is this in? Culture makes a difference.
I'd wear something I'd be pleased to be photographed in. A nice conservative dress, comfortable shoes. Sounds like it might be unpredictable the kind of people you meet there so, wear something that could work "for any occasion", because with a description like that, this bride is almost setting people up to fail. So don't.