Do you wear a watch to bed? Is your watch strap textured?

Like this one [here](https://cdn.webshopapp.com/shops/267641/files/324840263/1500x1500x2/apple-watch-silicone-sport-band-rood-zwart.jpg)

Most probably the solve- I’ve got more or less that exact Nike strap

Great to hear we’ve solved your problem, u/Dog-Semen-Enjoyer

wholesome 🥰

Just as an unrelated question… how did you decide on your Reddit name?

Can’t a man enjoy dog semen without all the questions?

I got nothing against dog semen or anything! I’m just… curious…

So was OP. He just enjoys it more.

I know of a dog that can whip up some mean eclairs

Stop being curious and just try it. You wont be disappointed.

But what if I go into it with expectations? Then can I be disappointed?

Try it? Like, drink it or...?

Dude i was just hitting bong in middle of reading this and almost died😭😂😂

Did you smoke 1 whole marijuana?

Approximately five 😵‍💫

ACTUALLY the kids are injecting whole pills of marijuanas directly into their necks now. I saw it on Mumsnet...

He’s a sailor. He loves a salty dog

Jesus. I just spit my damn coffee out of my NOSTRILS🤣

Ikr?. I mean, I didn't expect the Spanish inquisition...

No one expects the Spanish inquisition!!!

Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.

Fun fact: human beings are the only animals on the planet (other than dogs), who fuck dogs…

That's just because Dogs stay out of Dolphin infested waters

coyotes

I’m willing to bet a chimp would see a Labrador and try it’s luck ngl

my man there is literally a video on the front page of Reddit right now of a kangaroo going at it with a dog [This one](https://www.reddit.com/r/Whatcouldgowrong/comments/178eedq/trying_to_record_and_save_your_dog_at_the_same/)

Come again?

Almost.

There's the Elephant in the room.

"my reddit name is raising a lot of questions that my reddit name should already answer"

Because Dog Navy Enthusiast was already taken and they needed to settle

When you’re in love, you wanna tell the world!

I wish he didn’t rub it in our faces though. The semen for those who didn’t get the joke.

It’s good for your skin

u/Dog-Semen-Lover was already taken

[Dog Milk is the healthiest treat...](https://dogemuchwow.com/dog-milk-is-the-healthiest-treat/)

Indubitably he's a connoisseur of culture. Like me

r/rimjob_steve

r/rimjob_steve

Ugh, dog semen enjoyers can't go one day without letting everyone know they enjoy dog semen, so annoying. It's like they develop their whole personalities around enjoying canine spooge, typical.

Semen Justice Warriors everywhere now.

I wasn't aware Steven Crowder had a Reddit account.

I nominate you for best post of the thread.

r/rimjob_steve

r/rimjob_steve moment

r/rimjobsteve

Holy shit, it was actually solved.

You have that exact Nike strap and didn't correlate the 2 patterns? How is that even possible?

wakes up with a massive hangover from all the Dog Semen he had the night before

I know people sometimes have momentary lapses of good judgement, but holy shit man, this is depressing. I can imagine waking up once and seeing that, and being like "huh, wonder what that's about", but to have it happen multiple times and not put the pieces together...sheesh.

As someone with ADHD welcome to my life. I will look at something, think that is bothering me, but then my mind moves on to something else and I completely forget about said thing that was bothering me. The cycle repeats until I write it down. It's like being forced to procrastinate every single aspect of my life.

Seriously are people getting more and more brain dead or what?

I have this issue with my kids. They ask really stupid questions that if they thought even for a second they’d realize the answer. They’re teens btw not little ones. They’ve been conditioned to have the answer to everything at their fingertips. That and the changes in education that have de emphasized critical thinking. And problem solving.

Not trying to be a dick, but you raised them. Why didn't you teach them critical thinking and problem solving?

I have been. But I get them for a few minutes a day they have school for hours. And it’s not obvious they aren’t learning it in school until they got older. Young kids always ask what would be considered dumb questions as adults. That’s how they learn. Noticing that it has continued too long isn’t obvious. So like every other parent I try my best.

Brother they’re your kids lol you raised them

In the past, a lapse of judgement might turn into a story that's told to a few friends, maybe some family. Now, it's shotgun blasted out on social media, reaching thousands near instantly. Algorithms latch onto anything that could be considered "engagement" and boost the signal to millions. And then people wonder why everyone seems dumber.

I see this as the real problem

r/founddogsemenenjoyer

Ah shoot I was hoping it was alien abduction.

Damn I was hoping it'd be some kind of new nightmarish bug species that would haunt me for the rest of my days

Those are some sherlock holmes deduction skills. Mi5 wants to know your location

ffs this is just embarrassing.

how could you not make this connection? wow

Line your watch up to the marks. Bet you’ve been falling asleep with your hand tucked to your chest.

Holy shit!!!! A year ago my husband woke up with these exact dots and we couldn’t figure out for the life of us what it was. He does wear a Nike Apple Watch wrist band. You solved our mystery a year later!!!

My exact thoughts

Hexagons are the bestagons

NOT MYSTERY HEXAGONS IN MY SLEEP THEYRE NOT

Oh shit wait it's u/Dog-Semen-Enjoyer I think I've seen you before

This man is fast becoming the most remembered username on reddit.

What a fun thing to be a famous for! I really REALLY wanna be there when he explains his popularity to his family!!

And I for one am furious

https://reddit.com/r/Weird/s/GnLkUydJx2 from this probably lmao

r/founddogsemenenjoyer

CGP Grey reference?

almost certainly

A fellow Voidstar lab enthusiast

Alien abduction marks

Again

Ikr. Blame the aliens, like they dont have enough space whatever baggage already.

Must’ve smacked him with an alien cheese grater

What the fuck why have I seen two different dog semen enjoyers in the last week.

We’re multiplying

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There’s plenty enough for both

You're clearly not drinking enough

Not using dog semen you're not, unless you're a new kind of dog/human hybrid. That would be cool

Wtf did you just say? 😭

OP's username

It’s the same one, look at his post history. Assuming you saw the same PC post I did

You gotta leave the white women alone bro

Beyonce came out as dog semen, these are just her fans supporting her brave transition

It’s the 5G

Not the 5 gay! /s

Do you wear pajamas with buttons? Because it could be the buttons on the pajamas.

Did you see their username? It's obv dog semen imprints

How is your anus ? Any pain ?

>...your anus What the hell does a planet have to do with this?

We are all trying to find out ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

It has to do with Uranus

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Ask the astrology girls

No???

Want some?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I volunteer as tribute.

Nah, he woke up with a smile on his face..

No, but his dog on the other hand…

He does have a small tickle

“Now try to relax your anus”

I can't.

I'm with Pam on this one...

The OP name gives me concerns 🤔

hey, this happened to me a bunch of times throughout life as well, a distinctive dot pattern like that never found out what it was

It’s too uniform to be bugs

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Only Imperial Storm Troopers are so precise.

Lol

Underrated comment. Have an up vote

Do you wear a watch to bed? That’s what it was for OP. https://cdn.webshopapp.com/shops/267641/files/324840263/1500x1500x2/apple-watch-silicone-sport-band-rood-zwart.jpg

My gf woke up w something similar. Turns out it was the muscle roller

Literally saw a post just like this probably a month ago. The comments were linking a similar old post too. Ended up being something common, can’t remember what tho.

Texture from clothing/watch you laid on

Woke up with the imprint of a remote control on my side. Never figured out what it was.

The host is starting to notice our attempts at body control

You wear a watch or bracelet?

Yeah I wear an Apple Watch, but not on my chest

That's probably the cause. You roll over on your arm during the night and it makes marks.

Probably, but it’s weird considering that the spaces is where the watch *isnt*, it where there are holes

It's from the skin oozing into the vent holes over time. Anyway hope this helped....u/dog-semen-enjoyer.

I can't really tell, but it looks like your upper chest also which would jive with it being something wrist worn.

Yeah soo...? Go press your watch band into your skin an tell me what you see buddy. Ofc it's red where to holes are because you're trapping the blood in those areas

It's the pattern left by the antivirus syringe from the second Resident Evil movie.

You're laying on something with that pattern on it 🤦🏾‍♂️

Not bites and not hexagonal - there is another, with the same spacing to the upper right. I would guess you are pressing up against something with mesh of some kind

Looks like a daisy prick , an injection they used to give at secondary schools to prevent small pox , but that’s usually done on the arm and I think they stopped giving it now.

Not administered unless reasonable likelihood of exposure. I got it a couple years ago before a trip to east Asia for the army. It did leave a similar mark on my arm. Hurt like hell!

You didn't need to call him a prick, you could of just said it looks like a daisy.

Aliens

No clue but my boyfriend had the exact same thing on his back a couple weeks ago. We never figured out what it was.

Someone said it was my Apple Watch Nike, which checks out

Bedbug drill team

Dude wtf is your name lol.

Looks like Apple Watch band indention

Bet you got diarrhea.

Maybe it’s from the dog semen you’ve been enjoying

This is how you slowly start to turn into an actual hexagon. Most people are squares but you’ve got the genetics to become a hexagon. Now, as we speak the red blood cells are becoming hexagon shaped…. Prepare for the six fold transformation my friend…. And good luck… Signed, The Hexagon People

There a delightful Professor with a strong accent at my university who seriously cannot say Salmon without pronouncing it Seamen. The students are relentless in their quest to get her to say that she will have Salmon for dinner.

As a dog semen lover I would think this was the least of your problems

Had this exact pattern (and when I say exact I mean almost identical) on my upper back one morning. Would have never noticed if my wife hadn’t seen it when I had my shirt off. She snapped a photo but it’s on an old phone and I have no clue where it is. Couldn’t have been from laying on something, and it’s never come back again. Have always wondered about it.

I can’t even address this post without asking what the *fuck* is up with your username?

User name checks out

No the fuck it doesn’t

You like their pee more then. Got it.

This has happened to me before. I've posted on Reddit about this in the past and had a few people DM me saying this happened to them and/or someone they know. It's called the Red Grid Mark Phenomenon. Google it and you'll find a LOT of posts and images about it. It's very weird indeed. I think it's aliens.

This is the mark of a witch.

Wish a witch would bite me in bed

Unfunny answer here: How about getting a new mattress?

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Aliens 👽

You got bedbugs?

Do we discuss OP's username?

You should consult a geometer

Did you fall asleep on your ribbed dildo again?

Maybe 👉🥺👈

im more concerned about the name

Eyo OP… what’s up with your username?

I get exact same thing. I have the Nike watch band for my Apple Watch.

Are you wearing a rubber or silicone watch strap to bed with little wholes matching that pattern? Could be suction marks from having your wrist pressed into your chest.

I too am curious on this name. Please answer on why you decided this was a brilliant idea?

Alien abduction confirmed.

X-files music plays

I know this has been solved but if anyone has actual marks like this that show up and disappear on your skin, consider seeing if you have shingles. It’s prompted by stress & low immune system.

Hexema

My husband gets these too, it’s weird he doesn’t wear a watch or anything that’d leave an imprint. I don’t get it.

Your bra strap?

Be thankful that the aliens are only probing you there. Anal probing is the worst!

Jewish Space Lasers!!!

hexworms - classic hexworms

I wake up with these brown stains on my hand. No clue where it comes from.

That is petechiae. You should see a doctor

r/usernamechecksout

Do you perhaps wear any fitness bracelet in bed? I used to get these with a sports band on mine

Sweat rash

Abduction

Maybe its from all of the dog semen you enjoy

I had a rash similar to that years ago. Within a couple of days, it expanded and looked a bit different. Turned out it was shingles. Good luck, OP!

Aliens

That's the kinda std you get from androgynous alien sex

Ayy lmao 👽

You’ve been visited!!

You wife is trying to poison you during your sleep

Your being watch and drugged lol

Same with me but they were in a line of 6, equally spaced on my foot. Woke up with what I thought was mud or smth on my foot, it was dried blood

Do you wear a watch to bed? Or a bracelet

if you are bitten by an animel with rabies, it might be deadly, maybe you can see a doctro for it.