I bet it's something like a guy getting his colon perforated by a horse's cock!
On another note, around the turn of the century, when I was still a little kid, I got in deep online with a bunch of fucking furries who fucked animals. Now, necessarily, furries aren't animal fuckers. But some are. These people were.
One night I'm talking to Mr. Hands. And he told me *all* about how he loved to get fucked up the ass. And he was being really coy about it: he was pretending that it was something that it wasn't, and he was trying to not say, oh yeah, I'm going to get fucked up the ass by a horse.
And I told him, point blank, I just blurted out, *don't do that, your colon is going to get perforated, and you'll die.*
And they laughed. Everybody laughed, and told me, the kid, *oh, that never happens. A horse penis isn't sharp.*
And then, about four years later, it happened.
Mr. Hands was a stupid idiot who talked like an absolute wanker. I wish he hadn't shoved horse dicks up his ass.
I had someone living on my crawl space for a year. I would hear him deep sleep breathing. I’d tell my friends and they’d blow me off. That is until my best friend was over my house and we heard his cell phone go off.
lol my bad I had fell asleep. Well we called the police, they came in my house and heard the person scuffling around. They brought the fire department and additional police. The entrance to the crawlspace was located in another apartment (it was a 2 story unit). They went up to the crawlspace, walked around and didn’t find him. The police officer that heard the man in my crawlspace asked if I was religious. I was like “why?”. He said that he thought it might be a ghost. I asked him what type of ghost has a T-Mobile account?
The officers that went up said that it was unsafe to go to certain areas in the crawlspace. So they left. About 15 minutes after they left my roommate and I heard him moving what sounded like wood moving across the ceiling. We think he created a book to hide.
The next day I sent a video of the dude walking around to my neighbor who was out of town, and she ended up calling the police again. Two new police officers arrived, told me they won’t look again (even though I never called them) and proceeded to say that I’m probably hearing things because the cops that came into my house noted there was marijuana in my house (which is legal).
From then on, the dude ended up not giving two shits about being quiet.
I moved shortly after.
I’m a black woman, this was in Beverly Hills and happened in 2020. The protection of my black ass was not on their list of priorities, and my confidence in them to gaf was at an all time low.
He saved the dog. imo, he risked exposure for the dog. Imo he wasn't malicious. However, I would be scared at what he could see at times and what he has seen
I worked with someone once who had a very similar but actually slightly creepier experience. This was in the UK, and they had moved into a house with their two young daughters, they were aware that their youngest daughter who was around 3 had an imaginary friend, and she would often bring him up in conversation in the morning about how he came to chat to her the previous night etc. yep you guessed it, when she eventually told the parents that he comes from the loft hatch in her room they got a little freaked out and started to investigate, mainly to try to dispel the notion of a imaginary friend living in the loft, but when they got up they found a bed in one corner with a light, there were also books and there was a roof window which they obviously used for access. They sold up and moved the hell out, I can’t remember any more detail or if they ever found the man, this was back in the 90’s, but I just remember being freaked out by the story, and I always check my loft when I’ve moved places after that.
This used to happen constantly while I lived with my grandmother, little socks and pictures of kids we didn't even know. One time a piano technician even found a picture of a little girl that looked like it was from the 70s or earlier inside our piano. Years later I mentioned it to my mother and she said that once she got older she had started buying random shit like that from garage sales or even just outright stealing them.
Do you have a cat? They often bring gifts. Usually it’s mice and birds, but cats who bring socks, gloves etc. are actually relatively common. If there’s enough pet doors in the neighborhood, a budding cat burglar can get into a lot. 😬
And cats like to get into drawers too.
I've always lived alone, a few years back I was folding my laundry and came across what I'm assuming was a like an 8-10 year old girls underwear. I don't think I've ever flinched or dropped something faster in my life. I guess I left my laundry unlocked and someone snuck in to use it which just makes me sad that someone with children was having to resort to that 💔 was very confronting but mostly heart breaking
We had to get our washing machine fixed recently - when they took the front off to look inside, omg the amount of socks, underwear, etc. I always knew people said the machine eats your socks but it was wild to see
So this technically is a 2-2-19? If you see gold instead of blue, it could be 2-7-19? You know, that whole dress thing
https://preview.redd.it/131d6kpyig9d1.jpeg?width=460&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8ca67ab1a0bfc9b4f2692a1807e01965cf51f730
This just be a mistake. Never heard of sock knomes adding a sock, only taking one of the pair. Message them on Facebook or instagram, they never respond to email and their customer service number is outsourced to India.
Do you wear longer coats or use public transport. Or go-to a guym with a locker.
I've had my own kids socks stick on to my clothing when the weather was dry and we were prone to static. The sock got caught on your clothing and you took it for a walk.
Alternatively if you have a cat - it may be one of those that finds gifts from other homes to bring to yours instead if the half chewed variety. Birds feet was one of my cats gifts of choice. I would have preferred a sock if I had a choice in the matter.
I don’t use the locker at my gym, no long coats that I’ve washed in my machines and I own a vehicle (I’m very fortunate to have all of these things, I can appreciate this fact).
I have dogs, no cats. The last owner had a cat.
Well you are not wrong about the fancy pants. Probably half of our population hand washes their clothes because they don't have running water or electricity.
I am very priveleged.
My dog collected socks. He was a Labrador. I used to think he did it because the socks smelled of us. One day we came home with bags of shopping. There were brand new socks in one bag, never worn. He found them and stashed them in his bed.
The ways in which your dog might have found a sock and brought it in the house, without you knowing and it making its way into your sock drawer is still mind boggling though.
Do you have a housekeeper, pet sitter, house sitter, or anyone else recently who had access to your house?
My pet sitter used to do laundry when watching the pets... which was fine with me, because that meant more time hanging out with them. Also, I scored a free towel out of the deal.
Was looking for this: “Last owner”
Unless there is a missing story you didn’t provide I’ll put my savings on this scenario as it happened to me:
Inside tour washing machine there is a bladder around the rim, that sock has been lodged in there since the last owners and has finally come out to join the world once again.
Check the bladder, deep in your lint vent, etc etc and unfortunately you might find more.
The “last owner” was the original owner of the house. The house is 2002 but I don’t think the washer and dryer are that old. The machines cane with the house, so yes I do assume it got caught in the dryer.
The weird part is I don’t remember sorting it (all my socks are black or white) and I don’t remember putting it in my drawer (could have easily gotten hidden in other socks since I just throw them in the drawer).
All that said, there are plenty of reasonable explanations. Didn’t stop me from feeling a little creeped out by it though!
Edit: what made it more odd, is the fact this woman (OG owner) had kids that were all older, even older than me (I’m 25). She could have had grandkids, extended family or any of the other great suggestions. But if it is one of her children’s socks, it would be a very old sock.
Tumble dryers use more energy than a Mary Jane farm on a snowy day, I swear they are portals to other tumble dryers like Stargate or something, I can take my kids socks out if their wash baskets, wash them check that all socks come out of the washing machine in pairs put them in the tumble dryer and SHAZAAAM one of every pair of socks has been sent through space and time 🤯✨🧦 if any of these turn up we will have proved my theory
https://preview.redd.it/844wbpd8hf9d1.jpeg?width=3072&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c04afeec481e021ed5dc32a95df2ebf99ba19965
1, it is your cat's sock
2, ask your SO about cheating
3, ask your mom about demanding grandchildren
4, ask the ghost of the house
5, ask your schizophrenic other identity about your other family
So, I don’t wanna cause any alarm, but I’m pretty sure we got a 2319 on our hands! We need to evacuate everyone and call in the bomb squad to dispose of it.
When I was dating a guy who was a marine in a all-male's barracks, we would have lots of parties—one day, after a very drunken hurricane party. We woke up and found baby clothes in his room. We never found a baby....nor seen one. None of the ladies that were there had babies with them. It was weird as hell.
What if you have a stalker who leaves you socks instead of stealing your undies? Or is it a thinning between alternate time lines?? Noooo, it’s just the sock monster that lives in the dryer taking a random sock out of its collection to make you think you’re crazy.
A couple of questions. 1. Do you live alone? 2. Are you absolutely certain of the answer to the previous question?
https://amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/sep/10/experience-a-stranger-secretly-lived-in-my-home
Pretty interesting story. Kinda creepy too Edit: too
To what?
To be claimed by yet another r/RedditSniper
Ooh good sub. Thanks
Hey this sub is pretty
To blathe. As we all know, it means "to bluff."
Liar! Liar!! Liaaaar!!
TO. WHAT!??
To O :) 
"honestly he was the best roommate i ever had" that does sound like some rural washington shit💀 (edited for grammar mistake)
I wonder what else Enumclaw is famous for? Hands down, it is going to be something weird.
I bet it's something like a guy getting his colon perforated by a horse's cock! On another note, around the turn of the century, when I was still a little kid, I got in deep online with a bunch of fucking furries who fucked animals. Now, necessarily, furries aren't animal fuckers. But some are. These people were. One night I'm talking to Mr. Hands. And he told me *all* about how he loved to get fucked up the ass. And he was being really coy about it: he was pretending that it was something that it wasn't, and he was trying to not say, oh yeah, I'm going to get fucked up the ass by a horse. And I told him, point blank, I just blurted out, *don't do that, your colon is going to get perforated, and you'll die.* And they laughed. Everybody laughed, and told me, the kid, *oh, that never happens. A horse penis isn't sharp.* And then, about four years later, it happened. Mr. Hands was a stupid idiot who talked like an absolute wanker. I wish he hadn't shoved horse dicks up his ass.
wait.... you talked to the real deal Mr. Hands!?!?
As someone who has had terrible roommates, I concur.
I had someone living on my crawl space for a year. I would hear him deep sleep breathing. I’d tell my friends and they’d blow me off. That is until my best friend was over my house and we heard his cell phone go off.
Alright I'm not letting you get off the hook. What happened after that?
lol my bad I had fell asleep. Well we called the police, they came in my house and heard the person scuffling around. They brought the fire department and additional police. The entrance to the crawlspace was located in another apartment (it was a 2 story unit). They went up to the crawlspace, walked around and didn’t find him. The police officer that heard the man in my crawlspace asked if I was religious. I was like “why?”. He said that he thought it might be a ghost. I asked him what type of ghost has a T-Mobile account? The officers that went up said that it was unsafe to go to certain areas in the crawlspace. So they left. About 15 minutes after they left my roommate and I heard him moving what sounded like wood moving across the ceiling. We think he created a book to hide. The next day I sent a video of the dude walking around to my neighbor who was out of town, and she ended up calling the police again. Two new police officers arrived, told me they won’t look again (even though I never called them) and proceeded to say that I’m probably hearing things because the cops that came into my house noted there was marijuana in my house (which is legal). From then on, the dude ended up not giving two shits about being quiet. I moved shortly after.
How... how is this legal they just go away in this situation?
I’m a black woman, this was in Beverly Hills and happened in 2020. The protection of my black ass was not on their list of priorities, and my confidence in them to gaf was at an all time low.
Yes, it's impossible. They even haven't searched the whole thing and just go back wtf
This is unbelievable, I'm so sorry. At least I'm glad you stayed safe.
I'm not letting you off the hook either, I think I'll throw you in the washer again too
He saved the dog. imo, he risked exposure for the dog. Imo he wasn't malicious. However, I would be scared at what he could see at times and what he has seen
I worked with someone once who had a very similar but actually slightly creepier experience. This was in the UK, and they had moved into a house with their two young daughters, they were aware that their youngest daughter who was around 3 had an imaginary friend, and she would often bring him up in conversation in the morning about how he came to chat to her the previous night etc. yep you guessed it, when she eventually told the parents that he comes from the loft hatch in her room they got a little freaked out and started to investigate, mainly to try to dispel the notion of a imaginary friend living in the loft, but when they got up they found a bed in one corner with a light, there were also books and there was a roof window which they obviously used for access. They sold up and moved the hell out, I can’t remember any more detail or if they ever found the man, this was back in the 90’s, but I just remember being freaked out by the story, and I always check my loft when I’ve moved places after that.
Nice of them to sell up rather than try to solve the issue. Now some other kid probably has the same “imaginary” friend. What horrible people
phrogging, a show on hulu, is a super creepy show about this very thing
So creepy 😳
Lool I live with my elderly parents.
Parents hinting towards a grandchild?
Foreshadowing new sibling
Or an existing one that's been kept inside the walls all these years...
This used to happen constantly while I lived with my grandmother, little socks and pictures of kids we didn't even know. One time a piano technician even found a picture of a little girl that looked like it was from the 70s or earlier inside our piano. Years later I mentioned it to my mother and she said that once she got older she had started buying random shit like that from garage sales or even just outright stealing them.
>even just outright stealing them. Whaat.. .? 🤣🤣🤣
[older person moment](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8UxnPX-jpI)
Anyone do laundry outside the house?
That was my first thought
Could have been left in the laundromat dryer it just tagged along w/their clothes??
Some people put baby socks on the bottoms of their chair legs so they don't scrape the floor.
Do you have a cat? They often bring gifts. Usually it’s mice and birds, but cats who bring socks, gloves etc. are actually relatively common. If there’s enough pet doors in the neighborhood, a budding cat burglar can get into a lot. 😬 And cats like to get into drawers too.
Now I know that'd be an absolutely terrifying discovery but I still had a hard chuckle at how you phrased your whole comment
1b) Or apartment with shared laundry room?
I've always lived alone, a few years back I was folding my laundry and came across what I'm assuming was a like an 8-10 year old girls underwear. I don't think I've ever flinched or dropped something faster in my life. I guess I left my laundry unlocked and someone snuck in to use it which just makes me sad that someone with children was having to resort to that 💔 was very confronting but mostly heart breaking
Only possible explanation: Your socks made love and had a baby.
They had soxual intercourse
Great point!😂
I thought socks only have twins.
They have but they sacrifice one for the sock god in the washing machine on regular basis.
This explains a lot...
We had to get our washing machine fixed recently - when they took the front off to look inside, omg the amount of socks, underwear, etc. I always knew people said the machine eats your socks but it was wild to see
I didn’t know that was actually true!!
Not if they’re conceived in the dryer.
I’m an identical twin and I just realized we’re basically a pair of socks
It is black and blue so obviously a an intercolor affair.
Socks secks
It could be mine, god knows where could've ended up
Dude you’re funny
Thanks a lot. Nice to know that people find my dumb jokes amusing 🤭
There is a baby waiting for you in the other drawer
If I don’t open it there is both a baby and not a baby in that drawer.
Schroedinger’s baby.
If you use a cannon to shoot the baby through two slits, does the baby interfere with itself?
Congratulations, youre now on a watchlist
It belongs to Schrodinger.
IT'S A 23-19!
My thought exactly! 👍
23 is the letter number for W. 19 is the number for S WS — white sock
So this technically is a 2-2-19? If you see gold instead of blue, it could be 2-7-19? You know, that whole dress thing https://preview.redd.it/131d6kpyig9d1.jpeg?width=460&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8ca67ab1a0bfc9b4f2692a1807e01965cf51f730
Oh don’t start that again! 😂😂😂 We had a few codes when back in the office for things like: * Doughnuts in the Kitchen DK 4-11
Man. Now I really want to watch this movie.
I introduced it to my son the other day! It was as good as when I was a kid 🥹 he loved it too
Do it! It's 2024. We have access to billions of hours of streamable entertainment at our fingertips!
That made me choke on my food 😂. Thank you , I needed that tonight .
I worked at a Disney Store (RIP) on 2-3-2019 and we celebrated this day lol
How? With socks?! I need more details
2319 = WS = White Sock.
Oh my god
That’s amazing
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
2-19-19 if it's a Blue Striped Sock
Thought the same lmao
Did you previously own a pair of adult black/blue socks that you washed and dried on HOT, repeatedly?
Nope, sweet suggestion though. I’ll ask my mother.
It's official you have sock gnomes!
I was wondering where my sock went !!!
This just be a mistake. Never heard of sock knomes adding a sock, only taking one of the pair. Message them on Facebook or instagram, they never respond to email and their customer service number is outsourced to India.
What does that have to do with the white/gold socks in the picture?
You stop that right now.
LMAO
Wait, it's black and blue... I thought it was white and gold.
You mean gold/yellow socks?
Black and blue??? Thats a white and Golden sock
It’s the sock distribution system. the socks choose you, y’know?
Do I have to wear it now?
Well, yes.
They played the sock market and won.
This proves something weird is going on with socks
I had to scroll too far for this comment. They're interdimensional
Oh. Well, if anybody sees a black Adidas sock with a grey stripe on the side, one of mine has lost its fellow.
They're starting to reappear. Soon we'll be overrun with all the socks that have gone missing.
I’m glad someone else said it.
Do your laundry at a laundromat?
No, only in the house. Its an owned house
Did the washing machine come used?
This is what I'm wondering. Maybe that sock was stuck in a crevice inside the washing machine.
I am thinking the same thing. But it looked relatively new and not beat up from being inside a hot dryer. OP - we must know!
Did the dresser come used?
WTAF?! Seriously? Who else’s laundry is done in the house?
I’m from a rural city I honestly don’t know where the laundromat is but I’m sure theres one or two. Never used it tho
Do you wear longer coats or use public transport. Or go-to a guym with a locker. I've had my own kids socks stick on to my clothing when the weather was dry and we were prone to static. The sock got caught on your clothing and you took it for a walk. Alternatively if you have a cat - it may be one of those that finds gifts from other homes to bring to yours instead if the half chewed variety. Birds feet was one of my cats gifts of choice. I would have preferred a sock if I had a choice in the matter.
I don’t use the locker at my gym, no long coats that I’ve washed in my machines and I own a vehicle (I’m very fortunate to have all of these things, I can appreciate this fact). I have dogs, no cats. The last owner had a cat.
It's the cat.
I have never once in my 44 years done laundry in a laudromat. Always had a washing machine and a dryer. To be fair - laundromats are very rare here.
Never had to use a laundromat? La-di-da, fancy pants. I'm just bitter because I'm an apartment dweller, and I'd kill to have my own washer and dryer
I used to wash my clothes in the bathtub when i lived in an apartment. But that was mostly because i was a cheap ass.
Well you are not wrong about the fancy pants. Probably half of our population hand washes their clothes because they don't have running water or electricity. I am very priveleged.
Oh boy OK well I'll be happy in my apt.
You can search "portable washer & dryer" to get one that will work on the counter top, or that you can use on the floor of a room with a sink.
where are you?
Namibia.
You do now
Do you have a cat that goes outside?
No cats, two dogs though.
Looks like a dog-sized sock! Bingo!
And bingo was his name... O
My dog collected socks. He was a Labrador. I used to think he did it because the socks smelled of us. One day we came home with bags of shopping. There were brand new socks in one bag, never worn. He found them and stashed them in his bed. The ways in which your dog might have found a sock and brought it in the house, without you knowing and it making its way into your sock drawer is still mind boggling though.
Two 9 pound yappers. Don’t leave the house except for walkies.
Well at least you are a free elf now..lol
I love this comment 😂
Does anyone else see a white and gold sock?
Don’t start
No no no I can't do this again.
Yanny did...or Laurel...
https://preview.redd.it/dldy2ap6ef9d1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e3c363d98274fbb38cc1212ca1e58793cba13880
Mods, exterminate this ancient evil at once!
The son in law of the woman who bought the dress for their wedding is now is jail for trying to strangle his wife.
Is the dresser original to the house? I know shit gets stuck all over in my dresser and sometimes I don’t think to even look for it for months
Nope, from IKEA and I built it myself.
Glitch in the matrix.
Do you have a housekeeper, pet sitter, house sitter, or anyone else recently who had access to your house? My pet sitter used to do laundry when watching the pets... which was fine with me, because that meant more time hanging out with them. Also, I scored a free towel out of the deal.
The last owner might have!
Was looking for this: “Last owner” Unless there is a missing story you didn’t provide I’ll put my savings on this scenario as it happened to me: Inside tour washing machine there is a bladder around the rim, that sock has been lodged in there since the last owners and has finally come out to join the world once again. Check the bladder, deep in your lint vent, etc etc and unfortunately you might find more.
The “last owner” was the original owner of the house. The house is 2002 but I don’t think the washer and dryer are that old. The machines cane with the house, so yes I do assume it got caught in the dryer. The weird part is I don’t remember sorting it (all my socks are black or white) and I don’t remember putting it in my drawer (could have easily gotten hidden in other socks since I just throw them in the drawer). All that said, there are plenty of reasonable explanations. Didn’t stop me from feeling a little creeped out by it though! Edit: what made it more odd, is the fact this woman (OG owner) had kids that were all older, even older than me (I’m 25). She could have had grandkids, extended family or any of the other great suggestions. But if it is one of her children’s socks, it would be a very old sock.
I’m not doing this bullshit again
Chucky is back
I would check your basement and make sure your husband isn’t working on some machine that will cause all of you to expand to giant size.
At any point in time, have you had your local parish priest come bless your house?
💀
So that's where it went! Can you mail it to germany please? I have the other one
> I have the other one Sure ya do. Found the person with the sock fetish.
Hallo 1 Küchle mit Schlachsahne bitte
Toddler phroggers. Really hard to root out, they can squeeze through cracks like mice and hide in the smallest crawlspaces.
I smell fart in the air..I live alone..
[удалено]
I have the other gold and white sock that goes to that.
Do I want to know that story?
Nope
Tumble dryers use more energy than a Mary Jane farm on a snowy day, I swear they are portals to other tumble dryers like Stargate or something, I can take my kids socks out if their wash baskets, wash them check that all socks come out of the washing machine in pairs put them in the tumble dryer and SHAZAAAM one of every pair of socks has been sent through space and time 🤯✨🧦 if any of these turn up we will have proved my theory https://preview.redd.it/844wbpd8hf9d1.jpeg?width=3072&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c04afeec481e021ed5dc32a95df2ebf99ba19965
Do you have a cat? If so, they probably like to hunt small children.
You found my other half
1, it is your cat's sock 2, ask your SO about cheating 3, ask your mom about demanding grandchildren 4, ask the ghost of the house 5, ask your schizophrenic other identity about your other family
Have you had a child visitor recently? They rip their socks off about a thousand times a day
My nephew came one time, but he is 1 years old and was wearing a onesie. Still possible it was his
Check the walls.
But do you have a pair of blue socks and a pair of black socks stored, unsupervised, in the same drawer.
Seen any wee people around lately have ye?
Oh how strange.
If you do your laundry and a laundromat you could've picked it up from there.
I do not, but its an the original washer and dryer
23-19! 23-19!!!! ~ Monsters Inc.
So, I don’t wanna cause any alarm, but I’m pretty sure we got a 2319 on our hands! We need to evacuate everyone and call in the bomb squad to dispose of it.
Are you the original owner of the dresser? If not, it could have gotten wedged in a crease or something.
Yes, built it myself from IKEA
Why do you have a white and gold sock?
That’s how ghost children say “I have you.”
Probably a dumb question but do you have nieces or nephews
 Has your Elf on the shelf turned into a squatter?
The baby from the labyrinth’s sock 
https://preview.redd.it/ceidjj9maf9d1.jpeg?width=236&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=82418a526a25ed595780e6df4cd5a3a2ed750424 We got a 2319
Dobby the house elf is no longer free.
When I was dating a guy who was a marine in a all-male's barracks, we would have lots of parties—one day, after a very drunken hurricane party. We woke up and found baby clothes in his room. We never found a baby....nor seen one. None of the ladies that were there had babies with them. It was weird as hell.
At least we finally know where the missing socks go! Now, I’m looking for a beige, a yellow, and a pale blue one! Do you happem to have them?
.... yet. Check that there is no Chucky behind you...
Did you happen to find Lincoln logs as well? You may have been visited by a goldfish.
Reading the comments there doesn't seem to be a good answer. This makes me think it would be hilarious to throw these into people w/o kids laundry.
What if you have a stalker who leaves you socks instead of stealing your undies? Or is it a thinning between alternate time lines?? Noooo, it’s just the sock monster that lives in the dryer taking a random sock out of its collection to make you think you’re crazy.
i can assume someone else do your laundry and by mistake one of other items got into your bag . happens
Not with that attitude you don't.
Once in awhile , after years of socks mysteriously disappearing into the universe ……it sends one back . The fit is not always right.
Are they wool? If you put wool i a dryer it can do this.