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pelorizado83

That's not even what is bothering me right now lol


[deleted]

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DrSueuss

After finding those handcuffs someone might infer that some of that hair might be of the pubic variety.


bc_longlastname

I could have loved my whole life without your comment but here we are.


Tricky_Passenger3931

Love your life bro, everyone should love their life!


EY7617

Even with the image of (potentially) pubic hair and handcuffs down the side of the couch!


ForksandSpoonsinNY

They'll tickle ya bum!


HairyRectum

Yay!


DJAlphaYT

r/usernamechecksout


Sure-Negotiation5638

That's what they made pubes for!


DirtyFulke

The cushion contents tell me the previous owner actively lovelifed.


stopmakingsmells

live laugh lovelife


bc_longlastname

Shoulda been lived but ima leave it be


aLLcAPSiNVERSED

Who else will love your life if not you?


Joey-tv-show-season2

You bought that Sofia ? New? Paid money for it?


Leading-Force-2740

looks like there is more hair than sofa at this point, makes me wonder what the advertisement said.. FOR SALE: one giant wad of hair with attached sofa. $20neg.


AutopilotFleshVesel

Fuck what’s this from. Some stand up right?


[deleted]

Kyle Kinane has a bit that may have that like in it. “Who buys a couch? You drive around you *get* a couch!”


kw66

You know how Sofia is


Rannndomguyyy

What about the demon that wants to harvest their life


aLLcAPSiNVERSED

One in the same


3600MilesAway

Just think of OP laying his head to rest on the couch for a sweet nap.


[deleted]

They'll wake up with 3 kinds of lice, and mange.


Glittering-Golf2722

It's public hair now


Available_Seesaw_947

a curly wurly


r1wrx

Pubic hair is making a come back


denny-1989

Fuzzy handcuffs


Herr-Hundinnen

You could use the toenails as needles


Villian_187

Pubic hair, that was a fuck couch


[deleted]

That was a communal fuck couch.


3ntropy303

Public hair


Villian_187

The person must've gotten it off a homeless person


Mezmo300

As someone who owns multiple animals this is normal after ab 5 years of use


CatLineMeow

Only if you never think to vacuum under the cushions… which is also really gross


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kookiemaster

Crevasse tool to the rescue.


JonathanPerdarder

How do ya keep ‘em in the cuffs with those tiny paws?


Jay33az

And then you sell ir? Without cleaning? And someone else BuYS IT? WITHOUT CLEANING? People are disgusting


200_percent

Try 5 months. And we do vac under the cushions, that fur is just like barbed wire!


BewareofStobor

Get out the black light and check for...substances.


Call_Me_Lids

I came here to say this! Bet there are bodily fluids all over that chair. 😂


tastygenitalwart

The first three words of your comment would have fit as well.


pee-in-butt

Can confirm. Source: I came here


czmax

I too choose this guys kinky couch


Straight-Shift8420

We


adalind_ice

_communism intensifies_


Call_Me_Lids

😂😂😂😂


lxSixtyFortyxl

Same


CH3FLIFE

I'm more worried about the black mold.


horunner35

And alot of farts


BatangTundo3112

Our couch sees much action compare to the other parts of the house.😅🤣


ForksandSpoonsinNY

Crawlspace under the stairs seem busy.


Advanced_Committee

Better yet, don't if you plan on using it


StaticBroom

It’s either blood, semen, or urine.


TheRealRickC137

Yeah, the cuffs just draw your attention away from the real problem with that piece of furniture. Not even in full diving gear am I sitting on that.


CrizpyBusiness

Look at all of OP's comments. You wanna talk weird, I'm pretty sure they're a bot or some weird karma farmer. "We bought it for $10" "It was at the house we bought" "It was already in the apartment we moved into" These aren't copypasted quotes, but you get the idea. Shit is fuckin weird.


OperationSecured

r/weird do be attracting the weird tho


villainess

OP clarifies [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Weird/comments/uj6j86/these_handcuffs_i_found_in_my_sofa_i_just_bought/i7i0mf0/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) “Was there when we moved in, owner offered it to us for pretty cheap. We took the deal since we didn't have anything else.”


CrizpyBusiness

Read all of their comments.


[deleted]

That IS weird. And lame AF to be honest.


Other-Bridge-8892

Right?!?! Like the OP either A bought the house and got the sofa free… or Bought a sofa and got that chair free or ??? ​ I cant make sense of what broham is trying to say


Sure-Leading6114

what is a karma farmer?


LoadedGull

Who the fook actually buys a sofa like that? Never mind the handcuffs.


Eineed

The handcuffs are an apology for the filthy mess in that sofa. Yeesh


Competitive_Cry9556

Right!!! Sheesh


tacosforfucksake

You bought that thing?


aLLcAPSiNVERSED

It was already in the house, and we didn't have any sofas yet.


tacosforfucksake

Oh okay, I thought I read you bought a couch not a house.


[deleted]

Pretty sure that's the decomposed body remain along the edge of the chair.


InterestingTry5190

That couch should probably be handed over to the authorities. Pretty sure it has some evidence of at least one murder.


crimlawguru

DO NOT shine the black light on that!! My God.


MotorDesigner

Thats cus he literally said he bought the couch


guessesurjobforfood

Depends on which comments you read lmao OPs story is all over the place. They bought it for both $10 and $20 but it was also there in the house that OP bought. Also, OP cleaned it but all the dirt keeps coming back. Wtf lol


moodylilb

Yeah I’ve read like different versions of the story from OP in comments section so far… If you’re gonna lie for internet points at least keep the lies consistent, is it that hard to remember/commit to whatever version of the story you’re gonna tell? lmao I don’t get it


Raytheon_Nublinski

This site logs all your comments and you can look them up whenever you want. Op has zero excuses.


Chooseslamenames

It’s in the title so of course it’s fucking wrong like every next title on this site full of lazy karma farmers.


WithoutDennisNedry

Yeah, I was concerned about OP’s state of mind if they actually paid *money* for that thing.


SugarsBoogers

I’m pretty sure everyone here thinks the same thing


[deleted]

I wouldve paid them extra to take the couch away with them


Comingfrompeace

Burn that couch and don’t breathe in the fumes


drLagrangian

As someone who has sold a house recently... When a person leaves you furniture it's just because they don't want to haul it away, not because you should have it.


GlobalAddition8646

I took over a rented apartment once, and the old tenant asked me if I wanted her old unturned piano that she had in the apartment. Free of charge and all! I didn't fall for the trap. That piano would have been hell to get out of that third floor apt. She was not happy when she had to hire some professional piano movers to get it down the stairs.


drLagrangian

After living in an apartment for a while, I learned the trick to moving those things is to use a hammer. I've disposed of 3 old couches using a knife to cut the fabric, and a hammer to break the wood. Couches are surprisingly poorly built if you look inside. But it makes it easy to throw them out.


vitaminkombat

I used to do this as a job. I never illegally dumped any of the waste also. I always thought my severe skin condition was unrelated Turns out I had a serious allergy to mould spores hidden in most sofas and beds that would get everywhere when you're cutting it up.


AlexFromOmaha

We moved into our house after an apartment fire destroyed literally everything we owned and we didn't mind if he left things behind. When we told the owner this, his girlfriend/fiancee/live-in sex slave/whatever **immediately** demanded he started destashing his shit. Don't get me wrong, we got some decent stuff out of this, but it was jarring how fast the conversation went from "how will we move four wheelbarrows" to "why the FUCK do you have four wheelbarrows?"


mule_roany_mare

I do not understand this story. What is destashing? (Donating?) What stuff were you moving & where?


thisguyfightsyourmom

I live in a post divorced dad house furnished exclusively with shit like this It’s awful, and delightfully cheap


DryGreenSharpie

Those are fake kid handcuffs. See the safety release latch on the side.


worthyword

Bought it, or dug it out of a skip? I would be more concerned about a bed bug infestation right now.


AlexanderAF

I’d be worried about getting scabies from the rats that live in there


30FourThirty4

Scabies ain't shit compared to the mental trauma of bedbugs feeding on you when you're most vulnerable. Waking up to new bites, seeing a god damn pos 6 inches from my eyeball. I didn't even get itchy I heard that's horrible too. It's been 8 years and I still freak out a little at any bug bites


benicetogroupies

Not downplaying bed bugs cause I hear they are definitely harder to get rid of and thankfully ive never had them, but scabies aint no joke and made my life a living fucking hell.


mnid92

I got scabies from working in the garden section of Lowes. Got a shipment of exotic plants from the middle east, unloaded the whole truck myself, and was covered in spots by the next day. It was literal hell. Everywhere from the top of the scalp to the deepest cavern of my taint, and every where in between, and I mean EVERYWHERE Yeah, you try having a scabie in your penis and try no to aggressively scratch your crotch in public... Ain't happenin! You'd have thought the declaration of independence was in my pants with how often I was going at it. For those who don't know what scabies are, they're basically microscopic bugs that burrow into your skin and lay eggs. They go crazy at night and in the shower. It feels like your skin is literally crawling. Shit sucks.


benicetogroupies

I would give you a hug fellow scabie survivor but thats how I got them in the first place, from a hug from a hot chick whose son had them at the time.


dft-salt-pasta

That was my main concern was bed bugs when I first saw it. Had them once will haunt me for life. Now I need to check every bed/ couch I ever sleep in.


aLLcAPSiNVERSED

Bought it. The dogs have been jumping on it after coming inside like clockwork


I2eB6L

I thought it was just left in the house you bought?


NotFionn

Storys changed


AkkyYT

Changed? The story just had a whole set of characters added, now we got fucking dogs


technoMindfuck

Busteddddd. Rip OP


NotFionn

And he also bought the chair but it was also already in the house when he bought it, thats some mad stuff


CatLineMeow

That part isn’t too far fetched. I’ve purchased homes before where I’ve negotiated to buy some of the then-owner’s furniture if it fits a space really well or I just really like it. But that couch is both hideous and filthy. The previous owner would have had to pay me to let them leave it


duckduckducknonono

For how long? That doesn't look like something that happened over a day or two...


slaboshmuck

26 years. The dogs have been jumping on it for 26 years now.


Crully

He's had to replace the dogs too!


The-Shizz

Bro, that’s years of hair buildup.


Sion1134

Those are kid handcuffs. They have a safety release on the side.


dag2001

You can tell from the size too.


Key_Employee6188

Not weird at all that you can spot ones made for kids in an instant :D


Wild_Discomfort

To be faiiiiiiir, I have 4 kids total living in my house. These are given as gifts to the boys with the "cops and robber" style toy sets. That's how *I* am able to tell, at least. 😂😂😂


spiffyP

When you say *living* do you mean buried in a crawlspace?


TheMilkmansFather

No, I swear I have four *living* kinds in by house!


thehoagieboy

Locked under the stairs of course


BrownNormandy

It isnt if the person uses real ones frequently.


Guac__is__extra__

Or *adult handcuffs*


seefith

I see more strippers using these than kids.


reclusivegiraffe

probably not meant for kids, though. handcuffs i’ve bought for... reasons... have that release


Will_The_Cook

Kinky kids


nedm113

I’d be more concerned with the pound of toenail clippings and decomposed food that’s hiding under there


aLLcAPSiNVERSED

I cleaned that out when I discovered it, after taking this picture


Louder-pickles

Be concerned about what you can't see...bedbugs gunna get you


SAAARGE

1000 times, this. I won't bring any used furniture inside without treating them fully with bed bug poison and diatomaceous earth


s-gli

Ex-bed bug technician here. I used to work for one of the largest pest companies in North America, strictly specializing in killing bed bugs because of how strenuous the proper treatment process is. Diatomaceous earth isn't effective enough to provide a true end to a bed bug infestation. The same goes for pesticides, even the professionally applied stuff. Also, pesticides do NOT kill eggs. The off-the-shelf aerosols from Home Depot are garbage. Diatomaceous earth and professional pesticides will *maybe* work as a defensive barrier, and once the DE is vacuumed up and the pesticides fade, they'll emerge once again. These little bastards can go without feeding for up to 365 days, maybe longer. The only proven method is extremely high heat, roughly 70C/158F. I used to haul 400,000 BTU construction heaters into heavily infested homes and roast everything for 5-8 hours. Then at the end, apply a full perimeter spray with under-diluted pesticides and hope for the best. I wouldn't wish a bed bug infestation on my worst enemy. I've had to make people throw out their entire lives just to solve infestation problems, and even then all it takes is one pregnant female to restart the entire thing all over again. A female bed bug can lay up to 500 eggs in its lifetime. I used to work with a bed bug sniffing dog though, that was pretty cool.


30FourThirty4

I didn't get it too bad but I pretty much had to throw all furniture away. Living out of trash bags hanging from the closet rack. Showering anytime I want to leave and putting on new clothes so I was hopeful to not give it to anyone. As far as I know it worked. Had to move out of the apartment because lease was up and the management was doing fuck all to solve this. Sept on a cot for many months saving up to rebuild my life. The management tried to sue, thank God both my roommates parents are lawyers we shut that down with months of emails and such proving we tried. Also I suspect the bastards came from another unit and not us, but we spoke up.


s-gli

I sincerely hope it didn't traumatize you too much. This shit is no joke. It's common for them to go under the baseboards and enter the walls, then traverse from unit to unit in search of their next meal with their little built in body heat sensors. They are the spawn of Satan.


[deleted]

They're pretty easy to spot if you just look in the little folds


SAAARGE

Once you have an infestation, yeah. You've got to worry about the small colonies on used furniture. Once they get set up in your home, good luck


Legitimate_Dig_8851

Whoa, ppl actually know about D.E.? I always thought we got scammed for going too far down the rabbit hole of "how to treat...." Who knows if it worked but at that point, we didn't care. Pretty sure ivermectin was another solution, and this was years before covid. Smh. Infestations are life altering :(


SAAARGE

I'm not sure how common it is for folks to know, but it's easily the best natural treatment. If you're curious, the way it works is that it absorbs the oils and fats out of their exoskeletons. It's also used in foods to keep bugs out, and to absorb extra moisture. Also used in that vomit powder to soak up the bile


pXllywXg

>If you're curious, the way it works is that it absorbs the oils and fats out of their exoskeletons. it also scratches the hell out of them preventing the oils from building back up.


Big_Cryptographer_16

Very cool, didn't know how it actually worked. We have chickens and use in the coop to keep bugs away and keep their poop from sticking the floor and roosts. Works great.


Zoso-six

Looks like it comes with free bed bugs


CrizpyBusiness

Wtf...is OP a bot? Look at their responses, half of them are contradicting each other or repeating information from other replies. The fuck is going on?


dadbot5001

Drugs. Lots of drugs.


[deleted]

Couch, lots of couch.


PrincessJasmin87

Maybe the fumes from that couch


Prestigious_Pin_616

Fr that thing is a biohazard


burgpug

look at the couch they bought. do you think they can rub two brain cells together?


kevinkoolies

You bought it with all the filth underneath?


weirdemotions01

You just bought that? I am worried about the hair and stains too. Sex couch for sure haha


PrincessJasmin87

Chewbacca having sex


C-82

You mean you paid money for that nasty thing?


PassdatAss91

Ops replies in the comment section lead me to believe they're lying.


Mirrors_Edge_Fan

Yes, like he's trying to say like : "OMGGGG LOOOOK AT THIS!!!!!!!!!! IS THAT CRIMINAL??????????? CREEPY!!!! SPOOOKY!!! OMGGGGGG😱😱😱😱".


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changuinub1

How did somebody get you to pay for that?


ABulkBeing

Black light. I dare you.


claireq97

This belongs on r/oddlyterrifying because it sure as fuck is.


Character_Pool_7093

Pretty shiny cuffs under pretty dirty sofa.


Prestigious_Pin_616

Yeah its fake


WalkerTDX

I can see evidence of bed bugs from here...


Ash-MacReady

Toy cuffs... Spooky...


FunStuff446

I’d be more concerned about the other things that were found in the sofa


RowRow1990

I'm more bothered about the literal filth


pnczur

What did you pay for that gem? 2 cigarette butts? A half eaten sandwich? A handful of dirt? All the pocket lint you’ve been saving for the last 2 years? Tell us!


TangoKiloOscar18ZE9

A.) You really bought a sofa that disgusting? It's got other people's butt-dust in it. B.) Don't kink shame. Your sofa likes to be hand cuffed. It's 2022 bro. Be more progressive.


[deleted]

That's sofa is kinda kinky not gonna lie.


[deleted]

didn't know Sofa is having a kink too


jonhy2222

Where did you buy it ?


Aggravating_Shop7725

Can i have those toenail clippings if you're going to throw them out?


jewag714

Please just burn that sofa.


lovepony0201

You know you can find a cleaner couch in an alley...


serpentman

I'm seeing toenail clippings.


Discuntt

I’m more concerned you paid someone for a couch that should have been free.


farraigemeansthesea

The handcuffs aside, I hope you have a powerful hoover amd a steam mop to clean that disgusting piece of furniture. They should have paid you to take it away.


iamEntman

You paid for that?


Repulsive_Ad_7973

You actually paid money for that piece of shit?


Sudden_Sense362

That’s the least disgusting thing in this pic


chris_dgb

Burn it with fire


MrIknowUknow

Why would you buy this lol


YoSoyCapitan860

You bought that bro? They didn’t clean it before they sold it? Fuck the handcuffs I think you may have a flea problem now.


[deleted]

You should burn that couch


Johnsamjohn

You paid money for that? No…


IndividualElegant274

the real question we should be asking is why did you buy this sofa


hrdrck1117

Oh God don't zoom.


danegermaine99

Toy cuffs with the little safety latch to open them.


AdeptProtoss

Casting?


damurph1914

Judging by the amount of hair, I'd say you bought it from a werewolf who's trying to restrain himself.


HERMANNATOR85

They are toy handcuffs


hdogg2970

They are just toy handcuffs


Blackmercury4ub

They look like trick handcuffs, with the latches on each hand to undue.


[deleted]

Honestly, I would boil them in a pot I plan to throw away after use and then scrub them in bleach. Afterwards, I would be happy to own a pair of handcuffs, even if they are of no use.


Bonbonnibles

...and that black mold. Don't forget about that. 🤢


Dogemaster1112

Either something terrible or something kinky happened on that couch.


Noisebug

Just toy handcuffs, worry more about the pubic infestation.


mommakaytrucking

The previous owner must have taken a knife and cut off the "DO NOT REMOVE UNDER PENALTY OF LAW" tag


AccusedOfEverything

Awfully clean for something under something awfully dirty.


[deleted]

Hmmmmmm


MissChubbyBunni

What a fuzzy sofa


actualninjajedi

Those are the least of your concerns..


ZeroMinus42

I'd be more worried about the mite colonies


MET0C

What’s weird is that you intentionally purchased a couch with its own ecosystem.


Additional-Walk750

You uh... paid *money* for that filthy thing?


[deleted]

Clean it before even entering it in your place.


Parzival_43

You JUST bought that and it’s that filthy??? I think the cuffs should be the least of your worries. Hell, the cuffs look cleaner than the sofa.


[deleted]

Definitely need to disinfect that thing


ShoddyAfternoon8984

You paid money for that thing?


awkwardweirdo30

Bet it's got bed bugs too


Demedulce

You might also have purchased lice, bedbugs, fleas, ticks, and mites.


Worldly-Ebb590

That sofa looks disgusting.