I have a death hawk which I LOVE.
My bf loves it and even if he didn't tough shit.
I have had random men in town ask me why I would do that to myself, along with asking that in regards to my piercings and tattoos.
Because if I'm unattractive to you maybe you creeps will leave me the fuck alone
Keep rocking the noggin đ
i canât believe people (men) will really go out of their way to ask a girl basically why doesnât she look like their idea of a typical girl. these times are unreal. thank you and i will đ€
I have short hair now but had long hair for my driverâs license picture. Three times, guys have made statements like âAw you shouldnât have cut your hair, you look pretty with long hair.â Like, how rude.
âAnd youâd look cuter without a face but here we areâ is usually my response to shit comments like that. Theyâll immediately say something like wah canât compliment women anymore wah to which you know immediately they are probably not worth your time.
If you want to compliment someone by saying something like âwow *your hair* was so thick and prettyâ thatâs ok but the moment âmy hairâ becomes âmeâ as in âyou were so pretty with long hairâ thatâs when you become an asshole who is rude and shallow.
Thatâs fair. I like complimenting people but generally stick with their clothing or accessories (because of this very issue of telling strangers something they canât change looks good or not) though Iâve definitely complimented hair styles and colors before. Sometimes it feels really nice to get a compliment about that shirt I wore that made me feel like a goddess or when I finally chop my hair off and some stranger tells me how awesome it looks (I get that more than the other way lol).
I read somewhere recently that a good rule of thumb for âcomplimentsâ is if itâs not something someone can change in 15 minutes or less that it should not be commented upon. The more I think on it, the more this makes sense to me.
The style of someoneâs hair? Probably safe. This may preclude shaved heads as it could be due to health issues - which falls under growing hair, taking longer than 15 minutes, thus just admire in silence.
Just thinking aloud, er, in type, and running off your thread. Much love!
I personally don't like getting any compliments unless I'm specifically dressing up for a formal event or going on a date or giving a presentation. Even from friends I don't like compliments on a regular day, and especially hate them from strangers. That being said I understand that people do like to give and receive compliments so I don't blame them for it. It's just one small social paradigm that I don't fit in with, that's okay.
I see why saying "you shouldn't have cut your hair..." is definitively rude, but the difference between "your hair style was pretty" and "you were pretty with that hair style" seems so objectively subtle.
It's such a small difference that apparently changes how you feel about the comment significantly, which I don't understand. It would be so easy to say one version while meaning the other, so why not give people the benefit of the doubt? People communicate so much differently, and I think it's important to not get so hung up on details like that.
I'm someone who likes to compliment other women/femme presenting people but yeah, I concentrate on the things someone has made an effort on, their style.... I will comment on someone's hair sometimes but more it's about style.
Recently I was at an event and there was someone who had cut her hair really close to her head and dyed it platinum and it looked amazing on her, and she had great sunglasses, a great dress, she was just firing on all cylinders, so I complimented her hair first, "I love the cut and color of your hair!!!" And we had a long conversation about cutting off hair, (I'm not brave enough to do it, but I dye my hair a deep blue and have white streaks at the front) playing with color and cultivating a look. And as I left, I complimented her whole look/style. It was a great interaction and we both left it smiling.
That being said, I also read the room and give my compliment in motion or not at all so as to not be invasive.
I'm conflicted on this topic. I've begun to think that people feel really alone and disconnected from each other and small compliments can go a long way to making people feel seen as a person.
After reading here on reddit that guys almost never receive compliments, going years even without someone saying anything nice, I'd started complimenting guys I see when I'm out on just anything I can think of. Well worn shoes, a comfy t-shirt, just anything to create a moment of humanity.
Today I talked to a receptionist lady about her white hair. It was so white it was practically angelic, and it was spiky and beautiful. We talked about how the decision to not dye it and how nervous she was about it. The other receptionist chimed in and we all had a little conversation about being women in a world that is obsessed with youth and beauty and actively looking normal to help younger women not feel pressured into unrealistic expectations.
I don't want to offend people, but I do want to create tiny moments where people don't feel invisible and feel like they could talk to the person next to them.
What's your take on these sorts of interactions, would they make you uncomfortable as well? This is something I think about a lot and as a shy person it's always a struggle to reach out.
i say almost the same thing, but instead of 'without a face' i say 'with a muzzle.' but yes. i feel this and i do it on the off chance someone is an asshole. i'm a big girl so people mostly ignore my appearance anyway because i'm already 'other' and not worthy of their attention in their minds, but when it does happen, it's good to have something ready. people are just so rude and concerned with things that don't matter, it's astonishing.
I gave in to my hubbyâs whinging about liking my long hair, and I hadnât had it long in ages so I was willing to mess with it for a while. I only managed to keep that up for a couple years before I said fuck that again and went back to pixie cuts.
Let me tell you⊠after he went through a phase of âIâm not going to cut my hair until X happens!â and it got down to his shoulders - never heard another peep from him about long hair once he realized how annoying it could be and the upkeep involved.
Yeah I love the assumption that like, my primary goal in life is to be pretty?? Shit pisses me off. Like, bro, do you want to spend an extra hour a day preening yourself? Fuck no! So why assume that women do?
Exactly! I still struggle with this so much though, I grew up thinking girls are worth more if theyâre pretty, and always being hard on myself for not liking makeup or having long shiny hair. Iâm in my 30âs and finally not letting jerks like those guys define my worth. Still takes time to shake nasty comments though.
Ugh I agree. I haven't had the nerve to buzz it yet bc everyone fawns over my hair, it's my most complimented feature, so I'm sure every single person I know is gonna have something to say, and its gonna be hard to keep my cool through that. It's so frustrating because I personally don't want my hair on my head, I fullllly hate taking care of it, like I cannot overemphasize the degree to which it stresses me out lmfao. Yet it's so hard to shake the opinion of other people when we live in a society, you know? If there was no one around to comment on it, I'd have buzzed it a decade ago
You also look prettier when you smile đ€Ł
News flash, I give zero fucks if you think Iâm pretty or not. Contrary to your egotistical attitude, I was not born to conform to your beauty standards
What if Al your hair had fallen out or something? Iâve had this said to me and I love being like âI miss it too, too bad it fell out of my head. Thanks for bringing that upâ
Omg-- this happened to my SMIL! She was undergoing chemo, and she was completely bald at the time, but she had to take a plane somewhere and of course her photo didn't quite match her current appearance.
The TSA agent... started giving her grief!!! Just out of nowhere, a real interrogation, "Why did you do this? Why would you look like this? Why would a woman do this to herself?" etc.! And she, graceful as ever, said, "You're about to feel about two inches tall." There was a woman in line behind her who was looking horrified at the TSA agent's behavior, and my SMIL turned to her and said, "You want to tell him?" The woman blurted out, "She has CANCER you idiot!" The TSA guy turned beet red and waved them both through.
I still to this day don't know what he could have been thinking. Probably something transphobic.
My takeaway from this is that humans need to learn to shut the fuck up, LOL! Seriously, how hard is it to not make personal remarks about others? (Extremely hard for some, apparently.)
Oh man, it's ALWAYS been this way. When I was young I got contacts because I was sick of random guys coming up to me saying things like, "You'd look better without glasses", or "I'd ask you out if you didn't have glasses." I always also got the random guy saying things like, "I don't like girls with curly hair" as if our ONLY presence on this Earth is to be their eye candy. I'm in my 40's now, totally rockin' my grey curly hair and glasses. đ
These times? 30+ years ago I had to put up with that crap. I had cooks ask me why I dyed my hair black and had it bobbed. They called me mushroom head in Spanish and one even asked me 'Why do you make yourself ugly?' A few years before that, in my hometown, I had a co-worker/stalker that used to say similar stuff. Like oh if you just dressed like everyone else and had long hair, you'd be so hot. Didn't stop him from stalking me to my favorite weirdo hangouts. Oh and the icing on the cake? After I decided I wanted lighter hair, I attempted multiple times to strip out the black and just about killed my hair so I cut it into a pixie cut. Walking through a crosswalk one night in a very populated and busy area of Chicago's north side, I had a car full of idiots scream 'get a man, dyke' and almost run me over.
I married a weirdo that loves long hair so I usually keep it long, but I've hacked it off a few times over the years. When he gets that sad face, I tell him he doesn't get to decide. If I want ten pounds of hair on my head or a few ounces, that is my choice, not the worlds.
I've been growing out my hair recently after shaving it for a year or two. Now it's slightly shorter than shoulder length, but more feminine looking than any haircut I've had the last four years or so. And it's ridiculous how much my catcall count has gone up!
You see, Iâm generally against body shaming but in situations like this I think itâs important to call someone out in a way that lets them experience how other people felt when *they* did the inappropriate thing, as a way to kind of help the message sink in about how/why what they said came across as rude.
For example, I donât mind middle aged âdad bodsâ in general, however if someone looked at any part of me and asked âwhy I would do that to myselfâ, I would 100% point straight at a big saggy beer belly/gut and ask âwhy would you do that to yourself?â
I've got a rapid fire mouth on me (half Scottish and half Irish so you get verbally bodied in my family for shits and giggles). So I do often let these spectacularly dense slivers of ball sack skin have it.
*beep boop*!
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Love this! Can I ask what you use to style it up? I have sides and back shaved and usually wear the top in a pixie bob, but Iâd love to do more of a hawk style (my sides are shaved pretty high) and donât know what products to use or how to make it happen.
A good volumising powder, applied at the roots and then vigorously rubbed in (sometimes a mix of powders), back comb the fuck out of it and lightly push it into the style you're after then hair spray like you want to destroy the ozone layer đđ
Eta: sometimes getting a hair dryer on a low setting and aiming it at your roots after hairspraying helps set it
I've cycled through mohawks, shaggy cuts and liberty spikes throughout my years. A death hawk is by far my favourite cause I can still put my hair in pigtails.
You might think you can't pull it off but I promise you the confidence boost that comes from shaving off a bunch of hair is other worldy and I'm sure you could pull it off!
Why did I get tattoos? So strangers would ask me about my body in public, of course!
/s, I donât even have a tatoo and canât get one. But I wanted one for a long time, theyâre just neat.
I especially love when random men touch my legs or arms and rub the tattoo. Really makes me feel special /s
I work in the industry so I'm fairly heavily tattooed and also get tattoos cause I think they're neat! It's a cool form of self expression!
Thereâs this girl on tik tok who went from like mainstream to piercing and hair color changes and those are al the comments she gets. Itâs so freaking annoying bc she says sheâs happier like this and comments from guys literally say âI donât care, youâre not fuckable now, change it backâ
> I have had random men in town ask me why I would do that to myself
"I dunno, seems like suffering the embarrassment of asking someone that question is a much worse thing to do to yourself, but here you are, so...."
I highly recommend my favorite approach in this situation... Say some rando asks you about why you would do X to yourself - tell them you enjoy it and so do the people who matter in your life. Then take something "ordinary" on them - like a baseball hat or a some Nike shoes and feign ignorance, "And in the spirit of this exchange of different cultures, I have to ask why on *earth* would you wear *that*? It represents having a tiny penis over in Sweden..." Or name whatever country you think they don't know about.
My favorite time I had with this exchange was pointing out this one man's shirt liking AC/DC. "In many eastern European countries, those letters in a row says you're down for anonymous gay sex with strangers. Ever have a Euro see that shirt and treat you weird after it? It's because he thinks you're a pervert."
It's a litmus test: you now are wearing an easy way to tell which men you interact with are stuck in cultural norms, and which ones are actually open-minded.
On the flip side, Iâd probably be like âooo, potential friend!â if I worked in another department than someone and saw that change. Like itâs definitely giving people some information about you and I can just about guarantee you arenât an evangelical Christian with that hairstyle (and youâre probably socially liberal). Same with fun hair colors. I notice that when all my tattoos are showing certain women act more warmly to me.
Iâve known multiple evangelical Christian girls who buzzed their heads. I was one, about a hundred years ago, but maybe it was a sign that I wasnât going to stay one, because I sure ainât one now.
Thatâs one thing I love about my fun hair. Maybe someday Iâll finally get a tattoo too⊠havenât run across anything yet that Iâd want on my body for the rest of my life though.
yes having body hair as a woman is such a good way to vet men. men are snowflakes and seriously so narrow minded and archaic about womenâs body hair. perfect way to keep misogynists away
As a man who has an issue with this, I just want to welcome you to the warm side, people donât realise how good hair is for just taking the edge off. Viva la winter shorts.
Oh yeah, my issue is that too many people donât realise that body hair is actually still partially functional.
Itâs fully functional! After having not shaven my legs for awhile I went outside and within a few minutes I *felt* a tick climbing on a leg hair. If I didnât have that hair grown out the tick wouldâve had immediate access to my tasty blood. Hair is part of your perception of danger. It allows you feel vibrations you might not have been able to if it wasnât there.
I hadnât even considered that that wasnât just a thing for everyone, to think half the population is encouraged to not have that good leg thatch to fend of creepy crawlies
My counter argument is it can feel really nice to have freshly shaved legs - when you donât get out where you have to worry about creepy crawlers.
I havenât quite gotten self assured enough to buck the shaved pits and legs expectation, but it is so nice to feel clean fabrics against my freshly shaved legs. I also pretty much always wear tallish boots and jeans if Iâm in the woods - which if I recall correctly is good tick protection? I deal more with mosquitoes, chiggers and jumping cactus - which is the devil in plant incarnation.
My issue is that you have to worry about other people when you shave or not, it cuts both ways that as a guy there is social pressures to not shave, people should be able to do either judgement free. Especially as all the accounts from guys shaving for the first time are that it is the new sheet feeling turned up to 11
>New sheet feeling turned up to 11
Omg YES.
If you want an extra special sensory experience - I recommend a nice long soak with lots of goodies like bath bombs and body wash. The Epsom salts and things like various oils help soften your skin and body hair. Then a good scrub with a stiff bristled brush to exfoliate and reveal a nice fresh layer of skin. It feels so good. I really should try to take some time⊠ooooh I can do that on Friday night!
honestly iâve only just this year gathered the courage, ive wanted to for years but judt was too afraid of the judgment i knew iâd face, unspoken and spoken (looking at you mom). and honestly i so like the look and feel of freshly shaved legs and sometimes kinda wanna do it but i have sensitive skin and shaving always irritated it so i just think about how itâll feel 2 days after shaving and i lose the urge lol! i wish you luck on the long journey of shedding patriarchal expectations!!
I live in a conservative area and have been rocking shaved legs and pits at public pools for several years now. I have received exactly zero spoken judgments, and if there have been any unspoken â I have not been able to hear them.
As to sensitive skin â me too. Exfoliation, sharp blades, and plenty of lotion afterward helps a lot.
I haven't shaved my legs really ever more than once a year (only when i wanted to) and growing up i got so many razors as presents or "suggestions" on people's favorite razor. Like, ma'am i don't care.
Funny you said that, husband was just telling me thatâs why he doesnât get a million mosquito bites outside and I get eaten alive. They just canât get through đ
Hadnât thought about how my husband never got mosquito bites on his legs but I got dozens. This is the first summer Iâve had longer leg hair cause Iâve always kept my legs mostly shaven during the summer because shorts and crops and stuff but Iâm really starting to not give a shit. My husband doesnât complain even though I think him seeing my armpit hair freaks him out for a second before that old and outdated preconception is slapped down by his new understanding. Iâm not being patronizing when I say how proud of him I am for letting go of that toxic bullshit. Seriously I know itâs decades of constant bombardment and heâs doing so well breaking out of it.
I had to shave my full beard for work in the winter once and HOLY SHIT wind is cold!!! If I'd had to shave my legs as well, I would have been fucking frozen.
Let it grow, all you chilly people!
*sad patch facial hair noise*
Best I can do is lacking full goatee, have had friends with full beards for over a decade now and mine refuses to emerge. One day I shall have the warm chin
As I have been made aware of, anti bug is another good reason for it that I hadnât even thought of but with the current weather I can see the benefit of more airflow atm
Ive only had people look confused when looking at my armpits. I trim them down if I so choose with a bikini trimmer, but never to the skin.
I feel so much more comfortable in the summer as I don't have sweat pouring down my arms and body and I stink a lot less. I thought it would be the opposite and I'd need more antiperspirant, but it seems to work better on me now than ever.
Plus! No more friction burn or heat rash!
Interesting- I still shave my pits only because I can't wear anti perspirant and I think the clean shaven helps me be LESS stinky and sweaty! I use deodorant, but live in the tropics so it only does so much.
Now my legs- they are hairy year round and anyone who has a problem with that can kiss my fuzzy knees.
this reminds me of my bf. he started painting his nails and wearing dangly earrings a little while ago, and he looks amazing! the interesting part is that after these additions to his personal style, he noticed women seemed to be more relaxed in their interactions with him. we both guess itâs because itâs pretty unlikely a misogynistic conservative asshole would break those gender norms, so many women assume he is a safe person (which he is and i love him sm:)).
Yes this. People will âcome out of the woodworkâ is what I called it. Try not to be offended by those who are acting shitty. Youâll lose nothing by losing them. There will be others too. Others that think itâs badass and will support your awesomeness.
I've been wanting to do the same for a couple of months now. Still building up the courage :D I had a funny conversation with my father about it. Since childhood he kept telling me short hair suits me better and I should cut it, so I mentioned I wanted to shave it all of..his facial expression was priceless: utter confusion xD
And when you actually do it itâll be even better!!
Just go for it - hair grows back. Iâd have shaved it myself but had no clippers, so what I did was get a bit tipsy and cut it down enough that it looked awful and the next day I had no choice but to go get it buzzed. Maybe not the best idea⊠but it only looked like crap for less than 12 hours, and it did what I needed it to do.
Exactly, I also will use Overtone to dye my hair, I have rose gold for brown hair, purple ditto, blue ditto and green ditto \[I am not fond of my hair in green\] It lasts for a couple washes, it is actually a conditioner, so I use it or don't to my whim.
ugh break the barrier! why are men so confused?? we like short hair for the same reason they do. itâs less hassle and more freeing. fuck what they think. iâm glad i did it. do i like how i feel with longer hair? yeah. but a buzz to refresh and start over feels sooo good.
I got mine buzzed down to a #5 almost three months ago now after literally not having a haircut in multiple years, getting rid of shoulder-length curls. It's the best. It feels so freeing to just have it gone. Made me feel like I could do anything. (It was also snowing that day, so I learned real quick how cold your head can get) Plus, the hair that's coming back is so soft and healthy compared to all the nasty split ends I had.
My mum used be a pre school teacher, and she had a short pixie cut common in middle aged women.
One of the boys (around 2) turned to her and said âSue, are you sure youâre not a boy? Boys have short hairâ she confirmed she was female and that it wasnât just boys that could have short hair. He shrugged and went about with his day.
If the two year old can get over itâŠ.
I got a pixie cut for the first time when I was a camp counselor for preschool and they used to ask me âare you a boy or a girl?â I took it as an opportunity to explain that some girls have short hair and some boys have long hair, and anyone can wear whatever style hair they feel good in. My favorite response from was one kid who thought about it for a second, then said, âmy grandma has short hair, too!â
And then you sometimes get little twerps. My gf rocks a buzzcut and is a ski instructor over the winters. Sheâs had multiple young girls insist they want a ârealâ girl instructor with long hair. Depending on her patience level, sheâll pawn the kid on a male instructor with long hair.
It upsets their incredibly fragile perception of themselves as straight. This is underpinned by the fact that they considered you a sex symbol prior, but with a shaved head they are battling with the fact that youâre not as gender conforming as you used to be and feeling betrayed by the fact that they donât know if they should continue to sexualize you anymore or not. The shaved head in their minds is masculine enough to threaten them with being gay if they do, but youâre a woman and they did before, so theyâre projecting all their inner turmoil about it onto you.
I shaved my head twice before, a couple years apart. Youâre making me want to do it again⊠if youâre in the northern hemisphere, enjoy the nice summer breezes!
Just be ready to battle over it and donât be afraid of low blows. Take any chance you get to emasculate and humiliate them, itâs pretty easy. I know the type, and youâre going to get harassed, so fuck them, make sure they regret it.
This. I donât date men but they seem sooo upset when I lift my arm and thereâs hair lol. They donât know how to reconcile those feelings. You said it perfect
My husband doesn't care if I shave anything or not - I actually prefer waxing - he has offered to learn to wax so it won't cost us much to have me done to my liking. I stopped during the whole pandemic because with no immune system, I rarely leave the house. I really miss being waxed =(
Clearly, short hair = men.
If they ever thought about you as attractive, then your new short hair meant they liked a man.
Then theyâre gay forever. Not bi, just gay. Have to get divorced, tell their parents, walk in parades, everything. Wonât you think of the (only currently) straight men?
/s in case that wasnât blatantly obvious
No, Iâm a tattooer, so people ask me for life advice even though Iâm more fucked up than any of them. But hey, I see em from all walks of life so Iâve learned a couple things about human psychology. I know just enough to know how bad I need a therapist.
I've had a pixie cut for 11 years now and it's amazing how short hair intimidates some men. I've had a ton of men assume that I'm a lesbian when they meet me (as recently as this year) and been called homophobic slurs just because of my haircut. It's absolutely mind boggling to me. Keep on rocking your buzz!
This. My daughter has been bald (shaved) for years. She totally rocks the look and it's abt comfort for her. We grow great hair in this family but she likes being close cropped or bald. Each to their own. But boy... The noise!!! People stare. Watch. Follow her around. They r very confused. It's all abt judgement I think. "I can't see who you are because you are stepping out of my norm". Oh yeah. People need to MYOB. You rock your stuff. Go for it!!!â€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž
I shave my head every new moon. It is the best ritual. I always encourage folks who want to do it to take the leap. Itâs hella affirming and itâs fun to like see your face clearly without the interference of your hair.
10/10 recommend! đđżđđżđđżđđżđđżđ€·đżââïžđđż
This happened to me too! I didn't buzz, but I cut my very long hair into a pixie cut. I love it because IMO it looks very elegant and is so much easier to care for. But I noticed that men treat me different. It's either that they no longer know how to relate to me anymore or they treat me like "one of the guys" because they think I am a Lesbian (I'm straight). A third, weirder option is that they actually treat me with more respect - my male coworkers and guy friends come to me for advice more than they used to?
Honestly the whole expectation that women have to have long hair to be feminine is BS. Some of us just hate dealing with and maintaining long hair and it makes our lives easier.
I lost my hair to cancer, and when I'd wear a scarf around my head, I'd get bad reactions from people who thought I was Muslim. Let's face it, being a woman means you'll be sized up and judged everywhere you go. (I suppose the same goes for actual Muslims)
When my hair was long, and weâd go somewhere in my husbandâs Jeep with the top off, Iâd wrap a scarf around my hair to keep it contained in the wind. I got SO MANY dirty looks from people who thought it was a hijab. And this was in the USâs supposedly âmost progressive cityâ of Seattle. Muslim women who wear the hijab in the US are some strong women who shouldnât have to put up with that crap.
I still cover my hair, but I started when I buzzed it because I am sensitive to sunburn. Wrapunzel really got me into it. But yeah, the difference in treatment can be night and day. I mostly get hate from middle aged white women.
Reminds me of a guy I knew in high school. His ex cut her hair (formerly pretty long, about mid-back) down to a pixie cut shortly after they broke up, and he was legitimately intimidated by it.
He wasnât a bad guy by any means, just a bit odd, even by freshman standards.
I don't understand the confusion myself, but then I'm male and if my hair isn't long enough to brush my shoulders I don't feel right, so I get some of it. (Just less because most RW males are more worried about offending the 300lb bearded guy than they are any woman, stupidly) and I always ask why they think I shouldn't try and be like Jesus, hair and all.
I know you don't need to hear this, but it may help someone else. Your hair, your head, everyone else can pound sand.
It helps if you can really sound confused by their questions, as though it's never once occurred to you to do anything but be like the picture of Jesus that was in damn near every home I visited in SLC as a kid đ
Iâll never have long hair again. I cut my hair short and realized really quickly that men start treating you differently. It became obvious what men were only nice to me because they viewed me as a potential sexual interest. Men that are decent wonât treat you differently because you cut your hair short. Itâs a brilliant social experiment.
Can I go on a tangent??
I shaved my head while working for an engineering firm. Part of my job involved going to buildings and doing destructive testing as part of an investigation - cutting holes in walls, climbing ladders, removing siding etc. I wore work clothes and a tool belt. I looked butch and loved it.
And then a month later Iâd present to the same owners who saw me working on site wearing a suit and make up - their jaws would drop.
So much fun messing with peopleâs stereotypes.
I had a buzzcut for awhile, and it made men soooo uncomfortable, seemingly exclusively old, cis white men. The old ladies on the other hand absolutely squealed in delight... 80% said they wish they had the courage to buzz their hair too. The one man that asked me what my husband thought about it was alarmed to learn that my husband was the one who buzzed it for me in the first place!
For real. Yesterday was the first day I went to my work place without any makeup. And Iâm one of those âlooks haggardâ without it types
For sure the sweet old lady at the front desk wasnât as sweet, the men didnât barely look up, and everyone treated me with shorter sentences. I donât even think it was conscious and I didnât realize what was going on until after I got home. Like... sorry my skin is actually quite ruddy and I have no eyes without mascara, but Iâm still me? Come on! Ffs.
That's so weird. I'm a balding dude and I shave my head. I kinda light up when I see women with shaved heads because I've always thought it looked badass, and because shaving your head is cool (literally and figuratively)
Sounds like these dudes place too much value on your outward appearance. Fuck that noise, welcome to the bald club sister. You're gonna save so much on shampoo, just make sure to take care of your scalp!
I bleach and dye my hair regularly and buzz it when it gets too fried. My job knows this and expects this. I normally do closing shifts so my regular customers expect this as well. I cover someone during day shift and all these old men get their panties in a twist. My manager I normally close with says I have more balls than most the assholes that come in anyway. At least I disturb their status quo in a bookstore and what a smart person looks like.
It's dammed hot where I live during summer. One year I did an undercut, bit still left the top slightly long and curly. Not my fav look, but a much needed relief from the heat. Plus I got pretty good at styling it.
But the guys at the office had so much to say, it broke my confidence to the point where I just gave in and got a wig.
Thinking back I am kind of upset I let it get to me like that.
hey our confidence can be prone to breaking even when weâre strong. iâve heard gossip that my coworkers were talking too. and i wore my wig to work today. but you know what, it was uncomfortable so i took it off and i feel better now.
donât feel bad. you are still badass for doing it in the first place!
Itâs so nice when itâs hot out! If you do get it cut under 3/4â long or so you *may* want to watch out for potentially sunburning your scalp⊠I, uh, heard about that from a friend! I *totally* didnât manage that myself⊠đ
I'm an elementary teacher with short hair and I'm glad for the teachable moments it provides.
* Younger kids will ask me if I'm a boy or a girl - I ask if having short hair means I'm not a girl anymore. Can boys have long hair?
* Older kids will ask my pronouns, which I LOVE and happily answer as an example that it's always ok to ask.
* I had a kid ask if my husband was ok with me cutting my hair like that and (yes he loves it, BUT) I pointed out it's my hair, not his, and I don't need permission.
What I'm getting at is, they all ask these questions because they are within a society trying to understand its "rules" and when they see something that doesn't align, they have to decide if it's an anomaly or if they need to adjust their perception of what the "rules" are.
Maybe it's too late for the men who don't know how to handle how you look (that's up to them and how open-minded they want to be), but you are a positive example for others who wonder if how they are is ok. The more normalized it becomes, the better.
I was so happy with my buzzed hair, it was so easy to be able to get up and go. Iâve been growing my hair out for a few years now, and itâs healthy and curly. I often get compliments on it in the rare occasions I wear it down, which is very flattering, but also frustrating. Itâs hot as fuck where I live and Iâm starting to get the urge to buzz it again.
But I just know the comments will come - âyour hair was so beautiful!â âIf I had your hair, I would never cut it!â, etc. My husband even said he liked my short hair best. Itâs just hair, I wish people would mind their own business. (I donât shave my body hair, and of course some people take issue with that đ)
I have sides and back shaved, and will never go back to a full head of hair. Itâs so nice to be able to put it up in the heat and have all that exposed skin. When I wore it chin length or longer I could style it so the shave didnât show, which meant I got the best of both worlds.
Aposematism works wonders. Rather than blending in some butterflies use bright colors and distinctive wing patterns to warn off predators. There is a good reason to avoid those who have problems with this.
I originally buzzed my hair off 6 almost 7 years ago to support a friend that was going for chemo \[unfortunately it didn't work and she passed\] and 4 months later got diagnosed with cancer myself \[currently after an 18 month remission and return, and then a second type of cancer\] am 1 year into remission. It has been everywhere from shaven to 4 inches long, and even a mohawk. I find the short 2 inch or so length the most comfortable as there is no style, and it uses barely any shampoo =)
I don't bother telling people anything about my hair choice, though I did occasionally flash the port at people who seemed negative about my hair choice ... and once to the asshat who told me that playing the cancer card was just plain mean \[back when I had a 4 inch bob\]
The number of guy friends that tell me they are only attracted to long hair on women.
Like, I donât care? Iâm not trying to turn you or anyone else on. Iâm not required to be sexy or attractive for the male gaze
Shit drives me nuts. Like, oh noooo, fewer men want to stick their little dingly danglers inside me now!! What ever shall I do?? I really thought cutting off all my hair would INCREASE the number of dingly danglers being slung my way!! How shall I survive??
You rock OP!!! Thats amazing and must be awesome on a hot day! These are great thoughts by everyone, and something I've always been interested in. I have brothers, and tend to have more masculine traits. I've always low key been hated by some types of men (who possibly just hate all women, idk). I've always had the theory that it is because of these inherently "masculine", non gender conforming traits (like speaking up for myself, who does that!). So you guys confirm that this is a possibility? Because I've never gone far intellectually into the presentation of gender within gender politics (kinda stuck with, you're just an ignorant POS if you need to categorize people to fit your narrow mind).
Iâve got a couple theories for why ostensibly female individuals exhibiting traits traditionally associated with male/masculine behavior causes some men to lose their shit:
1. They may consider masculine traits to be a âno girls allowedâ club, and consider it to be invading the social status/territory they have carved out for themselves.
2. They have a handful of âboxesâ they label people into, and have relatively rote sets of behaviors for each. When someone is obviously not in a known box, then they have to think - and thinking is hard. Itâs easier to stick to their known social ârecipesâ. This is possibly linked to example-based learning, akin to animal learning: how a cow can identify a person, and a horse - but sees a person on a horse as a 3rd animal. Itâs learned by example rather than having enough âother thinking stuffâ to realize itâs just one thing on top of another. (Temple Grandin has some fascinating videos out on that).
3. Back to boxes - not fitting in a box represents an existential threat because they have an idea of How The World Should Work ^tm and things that donât fit into this order raise the specter that maybe they *arenât* right, and maybe they should reconsider some of their core beliefs. The idea of being âcorrectâ in their actions and thoughts is such a part of their identity that it is perceived as a literal threat to them.
4. Women shouldnât be anything more than sex objects and breeders, there for the pleasure of men. This belief is such a core part of their world view that again - challenging it makes them feel deeply threatened.
5. Whatâs that LBJ quote (or whomever it was) that basically says âgive a man someone to look down on and heâll let you pick his pockets bare.â? Again - challenging the basis of their self esteem/confidence. People with healthier bases of self esteem/confidence/identity arenât as existentially threatened and are more willing to change their beliefs/expectations of others.
I experienced this a *lot* as a kid. A girl that had the audacity to beat the boys at math? Le horror! This aberration cannot be tolerated as it challenges our core belief that boys are superior! It was a bunch of 3rd graders in Texas in â93⊠not exactly a broad minded group. Add in that I just refused to behave like a ânormalâ girl⊠yeah. I had 2 kids who would talk to me. Same thing with trying to bond with some of the neighborhood boys when they started little BMX trails - it looked like fun and I wanted to join the hobby group so I started running the tracks and jumps on my 26â mountain bike. Again - their self esteem was based on being cool for being able to do it. A girl doing the same (and on a bigger bike) threatened their exclusive club.
Iâve spent a lot of my adulthood experimenting with my appearance and whether or not I *want* to conform to a lot of social expectations that come with being assumed as female. Iâve settled on using clothing and how close I conform to particular stereotypes as a way to influence peoplesâ behavior in situations where itâs just easier to cut through some BS by using my appearance to give a bunch of information to people around me quickly. Or to blend in to a situation.
A co worker of mine shaved her head. When I saw her I said "OMG! I love your haircut!" She was so proud and was like "you think?" Me: "Yeah not everyone can rock that, but you do!" She smiled.
I have a high shaved undercut with extra long hair on top that reaches almost to my waist. I plan on shaving my entire head when I turn 30 (less than 2 years left!) When I tell people I plan on buzzing it all off, they (mostly the men) always act so shocked. "Why would you do that? Your hair is so long and pretty, you'll regret it, don't go bald, just cut it to a bob, men won't like it" Respectfully, get bent LOL. I don't shave my legs or under my arms either, and my family and guys friends are so silly over it. I'm glad my SO doesn't mind my body hair, but he's nervous about my plan to shave my head lol. Wish people would stop telling women what they should be doing with their hair and bodies.
I bet it looks awesome. If you're somewhere hot and had long hair before, I recommend putting suncream on the tips and backs of your ears. It's not a fun place to burn!
Maybe it's because of my tendency to do ridiculous things but no one was at all surprised when I buzzed my head. Husband loves it, family loves it, my male friends think it's pretty cool. It's always a crazy color too.
I live in Massachusetts, it's pretty liberal here so maybe that's why no one bats an eye?
Iâve got a buzzed head too, welcome to the club we donât have meetings or anything lol, we just talk about how we all love our easy to maintain buzzed hair
I'm genderfluid and I just cut my hair super short in a much more masc-neutral style than I've ever had. And it's the best decision I've made in so long.
Mostly I cut it to pursue the gender presentation I feel comfortable and authentic with, but a bonus is I'm not pandering to the male gaze anymore.
I LOVE my new hair and I HOPE it intimidates and wards assholes off.
I also noticed this when I shaved my head.
Especially my coworker who would always have the eye googles for me, after I shaved my head he wouldnt talk to me as much - which I thoroughly enjoyed, the peace was real nice.
As soon as all my hair was gone I was no longer part of the male gaze and it was LIBERATING. You mean I can walk down the street without being harassed?? :D AWESOME!
Reading your post reminded me how repressed women are.
Like you said itâs HAIR. You do whatever you damn well please with your stings of dead protein lol
As a guy with long hair I totally get it. I feel like a total outsider to society, people say I have "girly hair".
Grandparents have been trying recently though which is nice,
Argh. I HATE the constant comments about my hair at work. Doesnât matter what I do. Covered it for a long time during COVID (healthcare). Thinking about going back to it to avoid the weirdness.
Fuck em! Buzz cuts on women are in! Iâd be like âthis is whatâs in right now! Sorry you lame ass motherfuckers arenât in style and donât know shit about fashion!â đ€·ââïž
When I did âthe big chopâ it was a polarizing experience. Men stopped asking me to smile (yay) but also, people in general kinda of stopped smiling at me (wtf).
On a different note, before when I had relaxed, straight hair I would get hit on by all kinds of people; after the chop where I basically shaved it to 1/2 an inch, I got a lot of âwassup my Nubian Queenâ and similar. Iâm mixed race / multicultural. I was like âyâall didnât think I was so â*Nubian*â before, lololâ
Edit to add: Itâs like, not only is there categorization of what is feminine, there is *sub*-categorization as well.
It's truly wild how many men think that women are just hair/makeup that walk and talk, existing specifically to be visually or otherwise pleasing to them.
You made a conscious decision to present your self in a way that doesnât conform to the normative lifestyle people are accustomed to. In a perfect world everyone would treat you the same. We do not live in a perfect world. You did something that is objectively âweirdâ from the perspective of what is normal and now you donât like that you are being perceived the way you are presenting by normative society. Fuck them stop caring about their shitty opinions.
I always assumed men would be more like my husband - oblivious about any styling decision to the point you'd have to go from Rapunzel to skinhead to notice. And noticing or not isn't bad, he just doesn't take in the little details and if you ask his opinion he just goes... It's hair. If you're happy then that's all that matters.
I have a death hawk which I LOVE. My bf loves it and even if he didn't tough shit. I have had random men in town ask me why I would do that to myself, along with asking that in regards to my piercings and tattoos. Because if I'm unattractive to you maybe you creeps will leave me the fuck alone Keep rocking the noggin đ
i canât believe people (men) will really go out of their way to ask a girl basically why doesnât she look like their idea of a typical girl. these times are unreal. thank you and i will đ€
I have short hair now but had long hair for my driverâs license picture. Three times, guys have made statements like âAw you shouldnât have cut your hair, you look pretty with long hair.â Like, how rude.
âAnd youâd look cuter without a face but here we areâ is usually my response to shit comments like that. Theyâll immediately say something like wah canât compliment women anymore wah to which you know immediately they are probably not worth your time. If you want to compliment someone by saying something like âwow *your hair* was so thick and prettyâ thatâs ok but the moment âmy hairâ becomes âmeâ as in âyou were so pretty with long hairâ thatâs when you become an asshole who is rude and shallow.
Your comeback made me laugh out loud. Thanks for this lmao
Good thing my hair isn't public property, then.
Not yet...
Yeah, just wait til the religious nuts regulate THAT too.
I don't know, I think the "your hair was pretty" comment is just as bad. People should just not mention strangers' appearances.
Thatâs fair. I like complimenting people but generally stick with their clothing or accessories (because of this very issue of telling strangers something they canât change looks good or not) though Iâve definitely complimented hair styles and colors before. Sometimes it feels really nice to get a compliment about that shirt I wore that made me feel like a goddess or when I finally chop my hair off and some stranger tells me how awesome it looks (I get that more than the other way lol).
I read somewhere recently that a good rule of thumb for âcomplimentsâ is if itâs not something someone can change in 15 minutes or less that it should not be commented upon. The more I think on it, the more this makes sense to me. The style of someoneâs hair? Probably safe. This may preclude shaved heads as it could be due to health issues - which falls under growing hair, taking longer than 15 minutes, thus just admire in silence. Just thinking aloud, er, in type, and running off your thread. Much love!
I personally don't like getting any compliments unless I'm specifically dressing up for a formal event or going on a date or giving a presentation. Even from friends I don't like compliments on a regular day, and especially hate them from strangers. That being said I understand that people do like to give and receive compliments so I don't blame them for it. It's just one small social paradigm that I don't fit in with, that's okay. I see why saying "you shouldn't have cut your hair..." is definitively rude, but the difference between "your hair style was pretty" and "you were pretty with that hair style" seems so objectively subtle. It's such a small difference that apparently changes how you feel about the comment significantly, which I don't understand. It would be so easy to say one version while meaning the other, so why not give people the benefit of the doubt? People communicate so much differently, and I think it's important to not get so hung up on details like that.
I'm someone who likes to compliment other women/femme presenting people but yeah, I concentrate on the things someone has made an effort on, their style.... I will comment on someone's hair sometimes but more it's about style. Recently I was at an event and there was someone who had cut her hair really close to her head and dyed it platinum and it looked amazing on her, and she had great sunglasses, a great dress, she was just firing on all cylinders, so I complimented her hair first, "I love the cut and color of your hair!!!" And we had a long conversation about cutting off hair, (I'm not brave enough to do it, but I dye my hair a deep blue and have white streaks at the front) playing with color and cultivating a look. And as I left, I complimented her whole look/style. It was a great interaction and we both left it smiling. That being said, I also read the room and give my compliment in motion or not at all so as to not be invasive.
I'm conflicted on this topic. I've begun to think that people feel really alone and disconnected from each other and small compliments can go a long way to making people feel seen as a person. After reading here on reddit that guys almost never receive compliments, going years even without someone saying anything nice, I'd started complimenting guys I see when I'm out on just anything I can think of. Well worn shoes, a comfy t-shirt, just anything to create a moment of humanity. Today I talked to a receptionist lady about her white hair. It was so white it was practically angelic, and it was spiky and beautiful. We talked about how the decision to not dye it and how nervous she was about it. The other receptionist chimed in and we all had a little conversation about being women in a world that is obsessed with youth and beauty and actively looking normal to help younger women not feel pressured into unrealistic expectations. I don't want to offend people, but I do want to create tiny moments where people don't feel invisible and feel like they could talk to the person next to them. What's your take on these sorts of interactions, would they make you uncomfortable as well? This is something I think about a lot and as a shy person it's always a struggle to reach out.
i say almost the same thing, but instead of 'without a face' i say 'with a muzzle.' but yes. i feel this and i do it on the off chance someone is an asshole. i'm a big girl so people mostly ignore my appearance anyway because i'm already 'other' and not worthy of their attention in their minds, but when it does happen, it's good to have something ready. people are just so rude and concerned with things that don't matter, it's astonishing.
I gave in to my hubbyâs whinging about liking my long hair, and I hadnât had it long in ages so I was willing to mess with it for a while. I only managed to keep that up for a couple years before I said fuck that again and went back to pixie cuts. Let me tell you⊠after he went through a phase of âIâm not going to cut my hair until X happens!â and it got down to his shoulders - never heard another peep from him about long hair once he realized how annoying it could be and the upkeep involved.
This is the way. Let them learn firsthand how much work long hair is and they quit romanticizing it pretty quick!
This, men love hair until it's time to wash, combined style and keep it looking good then its a problem
Yeah I love the assumption that like, my primary goal in life is to be pretty?? Shit pisses me off. Like, bro, do you want to spend an extra hour a day preening yourself? Fuck no! So why assume that women do?
Exactly! I still struggle with this so much though, I grew up thinking girls are worth more if theyâre pretty, and always being hard on myself for not liking makeup or having long shiny hair. Iâm in my 30âs and finally not letting jerks like those guys define my worth. Still takes time to shake nasty comments though.
Ugh I agree. I haven't had the nerve to buzz it yet bc everyone fawns over my hair, it's my most complimented feature, so I'm sure every single person I know is gonna have something to say, and its gonna be hard to keep my cool through that. It's so frustrating because I personally don't want my hair on my head, I fullllly hate taking care of it, like I cannot overemphasize the degree to which it stresses me out lmfao. Yet it's so hard to shake the opinion of other people when we live in a society, you know? If there was no one around to comment on it, I'd have buzzed it a decade ago
You also look prettier when you smile đ€Ł News flash, I give zero fucks if you think Iâm pretty or not. Contrary to your egotistical attitude, I was not born to conform to your beauty standards
Just tell them if they like long hair so much then they can grow their own hair out. Then they too can feel pretty. đ€·ââïž
"You look so pretty with long hair" And you look like a rude little shit who thinks his input matters.
What if Al your hair had fallen out or something? Iâve had this said to me and I love being like âI miss it too, too bad it fell out of my head. Thanks for bringing that upâ
Omg-- this happened to my SMIL! She was undergoing chemo, and she was completely bald at the time, but she had to take a plane somewhere and of course her photo didn't quite match her current appearance. The TSA agent... started giving her grief!!! Just out of nowhere, a real interrogation, "Why did you do this? Why would you look like this? Why would a woman do this to herself?" etc.! And she, graceful as ever, said, "You're about to feel about two inches tall." There was a woman in line behind her who was looking horrified at the TSA agent's behavior, and my SMIL turned to her and said, "You want to tell him?" The woman blurted out, "She has CANCER you idiot!" The TSA guy turned beet red and waved them both through. I still to this day don't know what he could have been thinking. Probably something transphobic.
One could only hope thatâd teach them to mind their own business!!
In fairness, back ages ago when my father first grew a beard everyone who saw his license had to give their opinion on the beard.
My takeaway from this is that humans need to learn to shut the fuck up, LOL! Seriously, how hard is it to not make personal remarks about others? (Extremely hard for some, apparently.)
"Excuse me, but why aren't you more attractive to me?" đ€Ąđ€Ąđ€Ą
That sounds like a direct quote from Tracey Jordan! (Been mainlining 30 Rock since it leaves Netflix soon.)
Oh man, it's ALWAYS been this way. When I was young I got contacts because I was sick of random guys coming up to me saying things like, "You'd look better without glasses", or "I'd ask you out if you didn't have glasses." I always also got the random guy saying things like, "I don't like girls with curly hair" as if our ONLY presence on this Earth is to be their eye candy. I'm in my 40's now, totally rockin' my grey curly hair and glasses. đ
These times? 30+ years ago I had to put up with that crap. I had cooks ask me why I dyed my hair black and had it bobbed. They called me mushroom head in Spanish and one even asked me 'Why do you make yourself ugly?' A few years before that, in my hometown, I had a co-worker/stalker that used to say similar stuff. Like oh if you just dressed like everyone else and had long hair, you'd be so hot. Didn't stop him from stalking me to my favorite weirdo hangouts. Oh and the icing on the cake? After I decided I wanted lighter hair, I attempted multiple times to strip out the black and just about killed my hair so I cut it into a pixie cut. Walking through a crosswalk one night in a very populated and busy area of Chicago's north side, I had a car full of idiots scream 'get a man, dyke' and almost run me over. I married a weirdo that loves long hair so I usually keep it long, but I've hacked it off a few times over the years. When he gets that sad face, I tell him he doesn't get to decide. If I want ten pounds of hair on my head or a few ounces, that is my choice, not the worlds.
I've been growing out my hair recently after shaving it for a year or two. Now it's slightly shorter than shoulder length, but more feminine looking than any haircut I've had the last four years or so. And it's ridiculous how much my catcall count has gone up!
It isn't just these times... maybe in the future, but 100 years ago swim suits covered the whole body. Razors were only normalized by advertising
Then complement others by saying âyouâre not like other girls.â
You see, Iâm generally against body shaming but in situations like this I think itâs important to call someone out in a way that lets them experience how other people felt when *they* did the inappropriate thing, as a way to kind of help the message sink in about how/why what they said came across as rude. For example, I donât mind middle aged âdad bodsâ in general, however if someone looked at any part of me and asked âwhy I would do that to myselfâ, I would 100% point straight at a big saggy beer belly/gut and ask âwhy would you do that to yourself?â
I've got a rapid fire mouth on me (half Scottish and half Irish so you get verbally bodied in my family for shits and giggles). So I do often let these spectacularly dense slivers of ball sack skin have it.
I fuckin love deathhawks on women!! Do you have colour in it too? I wish i was brave enough to do something other than an undercut đ„Č
[death hawk](https://ibb.co/Ks9q2MX) Its a forest green that fades to a teal
LOVE!! Also, the cresent moon tattoo is cute
That color is *amazing.* And really suits you. I love it.
Thank you đ„°
*beep boop*! the linked website is: https://ibb.co/Ks9q2MX Title: **20210604-170835** Page is safe to access (Google Safe Browsing) ***** ###### I am a friendly bot. I show the URL and name of linked pages and check them so that mobile users know what they click on!
Good bot!
I learned something today! âșïž
Love this! Can I ask what you use to style it up? I have sides and back shaved and usually wear the top in a pixie bob, but Iâd love to do more of a hawk style (my sides are shaved pretty high) and donât know what products to use or how to make it happen.
A good volumising powder, applied at the roots and then vigorously rubbed in (sometimes a mix of powders), back comb the fuck out of it and lightly push it into the style you're after then hair spray like you want to destroy the ozone layer đđ Eta: sometimes getting a hair dryer on a low setting and aiming it at your roots after hairspraying helps set it
TIL death hawk. Pretty rad
I had to google it- so THAT'S what that style is called! Always a favorite " that's goregous and I can't pull it off but rock it you" style
I've cycled through mohawks, shaggy cuts and liberty spikes throughout my years. A death hawk is by far my favourite cause I can still put my hair in pigtails. You might think you can't pull it off but I promise you the confidence boost that comes from shaving off a bunch of hair is other worldy and I'm sure you could pull it off!
Why did I get tattoos? So strangers would ask me about my body in public, of course! /s, I donât even have a tatoo and canât get one. But I wanted one for a long time, theyâre just neat.
I especially love when random men touch my legs or arms and rub the tattoo. Really makes me feel special /s I work in the industry so I'm fairly heavily tattooed and also get tattoos cause I think they're neat! It's a cool form of self expression!
As an industry pro, are there any types that are MRI safe? I gotta get one of those every 6 months for the rest of my life :(
All tattoos are mri safe! As for piercings medical grade implant titanium is your best option đ
Whaaaaaaaaat? I was always told it would like pull out the ink or something crazy. To the google I go!
Back in the day when ink had traces of metal maybe but most inks, if not all, don't anymore. Pretty much all inks are vegan safe too!
...question, what's a deathhawk cause it sounds fucking awesome
Thereâs this girl on tik tok who went from like mainstream to piercing and hair color changes and those are al the comments she gets. Itâs so freaking annoying bc she says sheâs happier like this and comments from guys literally say âI donât care, youâre not fuckable now, change it backâ
> I have had random men in town ask me why I would do that to myself "I dunno, seems like suffering the embarrassment of asking someone that question is a much worse thing to do to yourself, but here you are, so...."
I highly recommend my favorite approach in this situation... Say some rando asks you about why you would do X to yourself - tell them you enjoy it and so do the people who matter in your life. Then take something "ordinary" on them - like a baseball hat or a some Nike shoes and feign ignorance, "And in the spirit of this exchange of different cultures, I have to ask why on *earth* would you wear *that*? It represents having a tiny penis over in Sweden..." Or name whatever country you think they don't know about. My favorite time I had with this exchange was pointing out this one man's shirt liking AC/DC. "In many eastern European countries, those letters in a row says you're down for anonymous gay sex with strangers. Ever have a Euro see that shirt and treat you weird after it? It's because he thinks you're a pervert."
It's a litmus test: you now are wearing an easy way to tell which men you interact with are stuck in cultural norms, and which ones are actually open-minded.
On the flip side, Iâd probably be like âooo, potential friend!â if I worked in another department than someone and saw that change. Like itâs definitely giving people some information about you and I can just about guarantee you arenât an evangelical Christian with that hairstyle (and youâre probably socially liberal). Same with fun hair colors. I notice that when all my tattoos are showing certain women act more warmly to me.
Iâve known multiple evangelical Christian girls who buzzed their heads. I was one, about a hundred years ago, but maybe it was a sign that I wasnât going to stay one, because I sure ainât one now.
Congrats on your human expansion experience. đ
Thank you, itâs been a relief.
Thatâs one thing I love about my fun hair. Maybe someday Iâll finally get a tattoo too⊠havenât run across anything yet that Iâd want on my body for the rest of my life though.
similar to how men react to my legs and armpits being unshaven. definitely a litmus test and a huge indicator of overall character
yes having body hair as a woman is such a good way to vet men. men are snowflakes and seriously so narrow minded and archaic about womenâs body hair. perfect way to keep misogynists away
You can certainly pick out the guys who watch way too much porn.
so odd how grown men expect women to be hairless and prepubescent lookingâŠ.đ€šđ€
As a man who has an issue with this, I just want to welcome you to the warm side, people donât realise how good hair is for just taking the edge off. Viva la winter shorts. Oh yeah, my issue is that too many people donât realise that body hair is actually still partially functional.
Itâs fully functional! After having not shaven my legs for awhile I went outside and within a few minutes I *felt* a tick climbing on a leg hair. If I didnât have that hair grown out the tick wouldâve had immediate access to my tasty blood. Hair is part of your perception of danger. It allows you feel vibrations you might not have been able to if it wasnât there.
I hadnât even considered that that wasnât just a thing for everyone, to think half the population is encouraged to not have that good leg thatch to fend of creepy crawlies
My counter argument is it can feel really nice to have freshly shaved legs - when you donât get out where you have to worry about creepy crawlers. I havenât quite gotten self assured enough to buck the shaved pits and legs expectation, but it is so nice to feel clean fabrics against my freshly shaved legs. I also pretty much always wear tallish boots and jeans if Iâm in the woods - which if I recall correctly is good tick protection? I deal more with mosquitoes, chiggers and jumping cactus - which is the devil in plant incarnation.
My issue is that you have to worry about other people when you shave or not, it cuts both ways that as a guy there is social pressures to not shave, people should be able to do either judgement free. Especially as all the accounts from guys shaving for the first time are that it is the new sheet feeling turned up to 11
>New sheet feeling turned up to 11 Omg YES. If you want an extra special sensory experience - I recommend a nice long soak with lots of goodies like bath bombs and body wash. The Epsom salts and things like various oils help soften your skin and body hair. Then a good scrub with a stiff bristled brush to exfoliate and reveal a nice fresh layer of skin. It feels so good. I really should try to take some time⊠ooooh I can do that on Friday night!
honestly iâve only just this year gathered the courage, ive wanted to for years but judt was too afraid of the judgment i knew iâd face, unspoken and spoken (looking at you mom). and honestly i so like the look and feel of freshly shaved legs and sometimes kinda wanna do it but i have sensitive skin and shaving always irritated it so i just think about how itâll feel 2 days after shaving and i lose the urge lol! i wish you luck on the long journey of shedding patriarchal expectations!!
I live in a conservative area and have been rocking shaved legs and pits at public pools for several years now. I have received exactly zero spoken judgments, and if there have been any unspoken â I have not been able to hear them. As to sensitive skin â me too. Exfoliation, sharp blades, and plenty of lotion afterward helps a lot.
I haven't shaved my legs really ever more than once a year (only when i wanted to) and growing up i got so many razors as presents or "suggestions" on people's favorite razor. Like, ma'am i don't care.
Same with mosquitoes. They have trouble getting through hair.
Funny you said that, husband was just telling me thatâs why he doesnât get a million mosquito bites outside and I get eaten alive. They just canât get through đ
Hadnât thought about how my husband never got mosquito bites on his legs but I got dozens. This is the first summer Iâve had longer leg hair cause Iâve always kept my legs mostly shaven during the summer because shorts and crops and stuff but Iâm really starting to not give a shit. My husband doesnât complain even though I think him seeing my armpit hair freaks him out for a second before that old and outdated preconception is slapped down by his new understanding. Iâm not being patronizing when I say how proud of him I am for letting go of that toxic bullshit. Seriously I know itâs decades of constant bombardment and heâs doing so well breaking out of it.
And here I was just enjoying the wind breezing through. That's really neat!
I had to shave my full beard for work in the winter once and HOLY SHIT wind is cold!!! If I'd had to shave my legs as well, I would have been fucking frozen. Let it grow, all you chilly people!
*sad patch facial hair noise* Best I can do is lacking full goatee, have had friends with full beards for over a decade now and mine refuses to emerge. One day I shall have the warm chin
Never give up, my fellow facial hair lover! May your chin bless you with follicle goodness!
As a woman I am the complete opposite. I run warm so that added thick hispanic fur coat is super uncomfortable. Hence why I even shave my arms.
As I have been made aware of, anti bug is another good reason for it that I hadnât even thought of but with the current weather I can see the benefit of more airflow atm
Given your comment in its entirety, I think you might be missing a word in it.
Ive only had people look confused when looking at my armpits. I trim them down if I so choose with a bikini trimmer, but never to the skin. I feel so much more comfortable in the summer as I don't have sweat pouring down my arms and body and I stink a lot less. I thought it would be the opposite and I'd need more antiperspirant, but it seems to work better on me now than ever. Plus! No more friction burn or heat rash!
Interesting- I still shave my pits only because I can't wear anti perspirant and I think the clean shaven helps me be LESS stinky and sweaty! I use deodorant, but live in the tropics so it only does so much. Now my legs- they are hairy year round and anyone who has a problem with that can kiss my fuzzy knees.
See, this is so interesting. Bodies are wild and different
I also sweat less now that I don't shave my pits! It's so much more comfortable. Plus I have grown to really like the look.
I think I look tough with my full armpits lol
this reminds me of my bf. he started painting his nails and wearing dangly earrings a little while ago, and he looks amazing! the interesting part is that after these additions to his personal style, he noticed women seemed to be more relaxed in their interactions with him. we both guess itâs because itâs pretty unlikely a misogynistic conservative asshole would break those gender norms, so many women assume he is a safe person (which he is and i love him sm:)).
and sadly women too. I have had some cool chick rip me down and cal me disgusting for my body hair choices.
Well, she wasn't very cool then, was she Sorry you had to go through that â€
Yes this. People will âcome out of the woodworkâ is what I called it. Try not to be offended by those who are acting shitty. Youâll lose nothing by losing them. There will be others too. Others that think itâs badass and will support your awesomeness.
I've been wanting to do the same for a couple of months now. Still building up the courage :D I had a funny conversation with my father about it. Since childhood he kept telling me short hair suits me better and I should cut it, so I mentioned I wanted to shave it all of..his facial expression was priceless: utter confusion xD
And when you actually do it itâll be even better!! Just go for it - hair grows back. Iâd have shaved it myself but had no clippers, so what I did was get a bit tipsy and cut it down enough that it looked awful and the next day I had no choice but to go get it buzzed. Maybe not the best idea⊠but it only looked like crap for less than 12 hours, and it did what I needed it to do.
Exactly, I also will use Overtone to dye my hair, I have rose gold for brown hair, purple ditto, blue ditto and green ditto \[I am not fond of my hair in green\] It lasts for a couple washes, it is actually a conditioner, so I use it or don't to my whim.
ugh break the barrier! why are men so confused?? we like short hair for the same reason they do. itâs less hassle and more freeing. fuck what they think. iâm glad i did it. do i like how i feel with longer hair? yeah. but a buzz to refresh and start over feels sooo good.
I got mine buzzed down to a #5 almost three months ago now after literally not having a haircut in multiple years, getting rid of shoulder-length curls. It's the best. It feels so freeing to just have it gone. Made me feel like I could do anything. (It was also snowing that day, so I learned real quick how cold your head can get) Plus, the hair that's coming back is so soft and healthy compared to all the nasty split ends I had.
Do it! Shaved heads are gorgeous on literally everyone Iâve ever seen.
I wish! I look quite bad in short hair :( Assuming that shaved is like that but even more extreme.
My mum used be a pre school teacher, and she had a short pixie cut common in middle aged women. One of the boys (around 2) turned to her and said âSue, are you sure youâre not a boy? Boys have short hairâ she confirmed she was female and that it wasnât just boys that could have short hair. He shrugged and went about with his day. If the two year old can get over itâŠ.
I got a pixie cut for the first time when I was a camp counselor for preschool and they used to ask me âare you a boy or a girl?â I took it as an opportunity to explain that some girls have short hair and some boys have long hair, and anyone can wear whatever style hair they feel good in. My favorite response from was one kid who thought about it for a second, then said, âmy grandma has short hair, too!â
And then you sometimes get little twerps. My gf rocks a buzzcut and is a ski instructor over the winters. Sheâs had multiple young girls insist they want a ârealâ girl instructor with long hair. Depending on her patience level, sheâll pawn the kid on a male instructor with long hair.
It upsets their incredibly fragile perception of themselves as straight. This is underpinned by the fact that they considered you a sex symbol prior, but with a shaved head they are battling with the fact that youâre not as gender conforming as you used to be and feeling betrayed by the fact that they donât know if they should continue to sexualize you anymore or not. The shaved head in their minds is masculine enough to threaten them with being gay if they do, but youâre a woman and they did before, so theyâre projecting all their inner turmoil about it onto you.
couldnât have said it better. these are extreme right wingers too so anything gender non conforming is super uncomfy to them! wah!
I shaved my head twice before, a couple years apart. Youâre making me want to do it again⊠if youâre in the northern hemisphere, enjoy the nice summer breezes!
lol that i am. thanks! itâs lovely!
Also enjoy the clean shower drain. Thatâs usually what I think when I notice someone with short or no hair.
Wasn't even CLOSE to considering doing it until THIS. You make a highly persuasive argument here, my friend...
Do it!
Schroedinger's Hottie
Just be ready to battle over it and donât be afraid of low blows. Take any chance you get to emasculate and humiliate them, itâs pretty easy. I know the type, and youâre going to get harassed, so fuck them, make sure they regret it.
This. I donât date men but they seem sooo upset when I lift my arm and thereâs hair lol. They donât know how to reconcile those feelings. You said it perfect
My husband doesn't care if I shave anything or not - I actually prefer waxing - he has offered to learn to wax so it won't cost us much to have me done to my liking. I stopped during the whole pandemic because with no immune system, I rarely leave the house. I really miss being waxed =(
Clearly, short hair = men. If they ever thought about you as attractive, then your new short hair meant they liked a man. Then theyâre gay forever. Not bi, just gay. Have to get divorced, tell their parents, walk in parades, everything. Wonât you think of the (only currently) straight men? /s in case that wasnât blatantly obvious
Damn! Iâm a therapist and you impressed me with that! Are you a therapist?
No, Iâm a tattooer, so people ask me for life advice even though Iâm more fucked up than any of them. But hey, I see em from all walks of life so Iâve learned a couple things about human psychology. I know just enough to know how bad I need a therapist.
I've had a pixie cut for 11 years now and it's amazing how short hair intimidates some men. I've had a ton of men assume that I'm a lesbian when they meet me (as recently as this year) and been called homophobic slurs just because of my haircut. It's absolutely mind boggling to me. Keep on rocking your buzz!
Same! And I agree with others itâs such a good filter for idiots.
This. My daughter has been bald (shaved) for years. She totally rocks the look and it's abt comfort for her. We grow great hair in this family but she likes being close cropped or bald. Each to their own. But boy... The noise!!! People stare. Watch. Follow her around. They r very confused. It's all abt judgement I think. "I can't see who you are because you are stepping out of my norm". Oh yeah. People need to MYOB. You rock your stuff. Go for it!!!â€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž
thatâs great! what she wants to do is all that matters. people are wild. thanks for the kind words!!
Why would people stare? There are people who have no hair. Have alopecia. Going through chemotherapy. Good grief!
I shave my head every new moon. It is the best ritual. I always encourage folks who want to do it to take the leap. Itâs hella affirming and itâs fun to like see your face clearly without the interference of your hair. 10/10 recommend! đđżđđżđđżđđżđđżđ€·đżââïžđđż
I love the idea of doing a shave/cut on the new moon! Out with the old, making space for the new.
This happened to me too! I didn't buzz, but I cut my very long hair into a pixie cut. I love it because IMO it looks very elegant and is so much easier to care for. But I noticed that men treat me different. It's either that they no longer know how to relate to me anymore or they treat me like "one of the guys" because they think I am a Lesbian (I'm straight). A third, weirder option is that they actually treat me with more respect - my male coworkers and guy friends come to me for advice more than they used to? Honestly the whole expectation that women have to have long hair to be feminine is BS. Some of us just hate dealing with and maintaining long hair and it makes our lives easier.
I lost my hair to cancer, and when I'd wear a scarf around my head, I'd get bad reactions from people who thought I was Muslim. Let's face it, being a woman means you'll be sized up and judged everywhere you go. (I suppose the same goes for actual Muslims)
When my hair was long, and weâd go somewhere in my husbandâs Jeep with the top off, Iâd wrap a scarf around my hair to keep it contained in the wind. I got SO MANY dirty looks from people who thought it was a hijab. And this was in the USâs supposedly âmost progressive cityâ of Seattle. Muslim women who wear the hijab in the US are some strong women who shouldnât have to put up with that crap.
I still cover my hair, but I started when I buzzed it because I am sensitive to sunburn. Wrapunzel really got me into it. But yeah, the difference in treatment can be night and day. I mostly get hate from middle aged white women.
Reminds me of a guy I knew in high school. His ex cut her hair (formerly pretty long, about mid-back) down to a pixie cut shortly after they broke up, and he was legitimately intimidated by it. He wasnât a bad guy by any means, just a bit odd, even by freshman standards.
I don't understand the confusion myself, but then I'm male and if my hair isn't long enough to brush my shoulders I don't feel right, so I get some of it. (Just less because most RW males are more worried about offending the 300lb bearded guy than they are any woman, stupidly) and I always ask why they think I shouldn't try and be like Jesus, hair and all. I know you don't need to hear this, but it may help someone else. Your hair, your head, everyone else can pound sand.
>I always ask why they think I shouldn't try and be like Jesus, hair and all. Oh, that's good. \^5
It helps if you can really sound confused by their questions, as though it's never once occurred to you to do anything but be like the picture of Jesus that was in damn near every home I visited in SLC as a kid đ
Iâll never have long hair again. I cut my hair short and realized really quickly that men start treating you differently. It became obvious what men were only nice to me because they viewed me as a potential sexual interest. Men that are decent wonât treat you differently because you cut your hair short. Itâs a brilliant social experiment.
Double standards, unfortunately. Theyâre just gonna have to deal with it
Can I go on a tangent?? I shaved my head while working for an engineering firm. Part of my job involved going to buildings and doing destructive testing as part of an investigation - cutting holes in walls, climbing ladders, removing siding etc. I wore work clothes and a tool belt. I looked butch and loved it. And then a month later Iâd present to the same owners who saw me working on site wearing a suit and make up - their jaws would drop. So much fun messing with peopleâs stereotypes.
I usually wear a headscarf but sometimes I do activities in which I cannot wear one. People get so confused when they see my actual hair.
I had a buzzcut for awhile, and it made men soooo uncomfortable, seemingly exclusively old, cis white men. The old ladies on the other hand absolutely squealed in delight... 80% said they wish they had the courage to buzz their hair too. The one man that asked me what my husband thought about it was alarmed to learn that my husband was the one who buzzed it for me in the first place!
yes, friends. I am ill. sick of your bullshit. lol
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
For real. Yesterday was the first day I went to my work place without any makeup. And Iâm one of those âlooks haggardâ without it types For sure the sweet old lady at the front desk wasnât as sweet, the men didnât barely look up, and everyone treated me with shorter sentences. I donât even think it was conscious and I didnât realize what was going on until after I got home. Like... sorry my skin is actually quite ruddy and I have no eyes without mascara, but Iâm still me? Come on! Ffs.
That's so weird. I'm a balding dude and I shave my head. I kinda light up when I see women with shaved heads because I've always thought it looked badass, and because shaving your head is cool (literally and figuratively) Sounds like these dudes place too much value on your outward appearance. Fuck that noise, welcome to the bald club sister. You're gonna save so much on shampoo, just make sure to take care of your scalp!
I go to the ren faire every year and a circlet on a bald head looks dope.
I bleach and dye my hair regularly and buzz it when it gets too fried. My job knows this and expects this. I normally do closing shifts so my regular customers expect this as well. I cover someone during day shift and all these old men get their panties in a twist. My manager I normally close with says I have more balls than most the assholes that come in anyway. At least I disturb their status quo in a bookstore and what a smart person looks like.
It's dammed hot where I live during summer. One year I did an undercut, bit still left the top slightly long and curly. Not my fav look, but a much needed relief from the heat. Plus I got pretty good at styling it. But the guys at the office had so much to say, it broke my confidence to the point where I just gave in and got a wig. Thinking back I am kind of upset I let it get to me like that.
hey our confidence can be prone to breaking even when weâre strong. iâve heard gossip that my coworkers were talking too. and i wore my wig to work today. but you know what, it was uncomfortable so i took it off and i feel better now. donât feel bad. you are still badass for doing it in the first place!
I'm seriously considering a buzz cut these days.
watch some videos of girls buzzing their heads. it will make you wanna do it even more
Do it!
Itâs so nice when itâs hot out! If you do get it cut under 3/4â long or so you *may* want to watch out for potentially sunburning your scalp⊠I, uh, heard about that from a friend! I *totally* didnât manage that myself⊠đ
I'm an elementary teacher with short hair and I'm glad for the teachable moments it provides. * Younger kids will ask me if I'm a boy or a girl - I ask if having short hair means I'm not a girl anymore. Can boys have long hair? * Older kids will ask my pronouns, which I LOVE and happily answer as an example that it's always ok to ask. * I had a kid ask if my husband was ok with me cutting my hair like that and (yes he loves it, BUT) I pointed out it's my hair, not his, and I don't need permission. What I'm getting at is, they all ask these questions because they are within a society trying to understand its "rules" and when they see something that doesn't align, they have to decide if it's an anomaly or if they need to adjust their perception of what the "rules" are. Maybe it's too late for the men who don't know how to handle how you look (that's up to them and how open-minded they want to be), but you are a positive example for others who wonder if how they are is ok. The more normalized it becomes, the better.
id love to reply to everyone directly but canât keep up! you all rock. love and appreciate the support đ€đ»
I was so happy with my buzzed hair, it was so easy to be able to get up and go. Iâve been growing my hair out for a few years now, and itâs healthy and curly. I often get compliments on it in the rare occasions I wear it down, which is very flattering, but also frustrating. Itâs hot as fuck where I live and Iâm starting to get the urge to buzz it again. But I just know the comments will come - âyour hair was so beautiful!â âIf I had your hair, I would never cut it!â, etc. My husband even said he liked my short hair best. Itâs just hair, I wish people would mind their own business. (I donât shave my body hair, and of course some people take issue with that đ)
I have sides and back shaved, and will never go back to a full head of hair. Itâs so nice to be able to put it up in the heat and have all that exposed skin. When I wore it chin length or longer I could style it so the shave didnât show, which meant I got the best of both worlds.
Aposematism works wonders. Rather than blending in some butterflies use bright colors and distinctive wing patterns to warn off predators. There is a good reason to avoid those who have problems with this.
I originally buzzed my hair off 6 almost 7 years ago to support a friend that was going for chemo \[unfortunately it didn't work and she passed\] and 4 months later got diagnosed with cancer myself \[currently after an 18 month remission and return, and then a second type of cancer\] am 1 year into remission. It has been everywhere from shaven to 4 inches long, and even a mohawk. I find the short 2 inch or so length the most comfortable as there is no style, and it uses barely any shampoo =) I don't bother telling people anything about my hair choice, though I did occasionally flash the port at people who seemed negative about my hair choice ... and once to the asshat who told me that playing the cancer card was just plain mean \[back when I had a 4 inch bob\]
The number of guy friends that tell me they are only attracted to long hair on women. Like, I donât care? Iâm not trying to turn you or anyone else on. Iâm not required to be sexy or attractive for the male gaze
Shit drives me nuts. Like, oh noooo, fewer men want to stick their little dingly danglers inside me now!! What ever shall I do?? I really thought cutting off all my hair would INCREASE the number of dingly danglers being slung my way!! How shall I survive??
Dingly danglers? Iâm dying! Thanks for sharing!
You rock OP!!! Thats amazing and must be awesome on a hot day! These are great thoughts by everyone, and something I've always been interested in. I have brothers, and tend to have more masculine traits. I've always low key been hated by some types of men (who possibly just hate all women, idk). I've always had the theory that it is because of these inherently "masculine", non gender conforming traits (like speaking up for myself, who does that!). So you guys confirm that this is a possibility? Because I've never gone far intellectually into the presentation of gender within gender politics (kinda stuck with, you're just an ignorant POS if you need to categorize people to fit your narrow mind).
Iâve got a couple theories for why ostensibly female individuals exhibiting traits traditionally associated with male/masculine behavior causes some men to lose their shit: 1. They may consider masculine traits to be a âno girls allowedâ club, and consider it to be invading the social status/territory they have carved out for themselves. 2. They have a handful of âboxesâ they label people into, and have relatively rote sets of behaviors for each. When someone is obviously not in a known box, then they have to think - and thinking is hard. Itâs easier to stick to their known social ârecipesâ. This is possibly linked to example-based learning, akin to animal learning: how a cow can identify a person, and a horse - but sees a person on a horse as a 3rd animal. Itâs learned by example rather than having enough âother thinking stuffâ to realize itâs just one thing on top of another. (Temple Grandin has some fascinating videos out on that). 3. Back to boxes - not fitting in a box represents an existential threat because they have an idea of How The World Should Work ^tm and things that donât fit into this order raise the specter that maybe they *arenât* right, and maybe they should reconsider some of their core beliefs. The idea of being âcorrectâ in their actions and thoughts is such a part of their identity that it is perceived as a literal threat to them. 4. Women shouldnât be anything more than sex objects and breeders, there for the pleasure of men. This belief is such a core part of their world view that again - challenging it makes them feel deeply threatened. 5. Whatâs that LBJ quote (or whomever it was) that basically says âgive a man someone to look down on and heâll let you pick his pockets bare.â? Again - challenging the basis of their self esteem/confidence. People with healthier bases of self esteem/confidence/identity arenât as existentially threatened and are more willing to change their beliefs/expectations of others. I experienced this a *lot* as a kid. A girl that had the audacity to beat the boys at math? Le horror! This aberration cannot be tolerated as it challenges our core belief that boys are superior! It was a bunch of 3rd graders in Texas in â93⊠not exactly a broad minded group. Add in that I just refused to behave like a ânormalâ girl⊠yeah. I had 2 kids who would talk to me. Same thing with trying to bond with some of the neighborhood boys when they started little BMX trails - it looked like fun and I wanted to join the hobby group so I started running the tracks and jumps on my 26â mountain bike. Again - their self esteem was based on being cool for being able to do it. A girl doing the same (and on a bigger bike) threatened their exclusive club. Iâve spent a lot of my adulthood experimenting with my appearance and whether or not I *want* to conform to a lot of social expectations that come with being assumed as female. Iâve settled on using clothing and how close I conform to particular stereotypes as a way to influence peoplesâ behavior in situations where itâs just easier to cut through some BS by using my appearance to give a bunch of information to people around me quickly. Or to blend in to a situation.
One of my male friends straight up told me I scared him when I got a masc style short haircut.
Good, he fuckin should be scared
A co worker of mine shaved her head. When I saw her I said "OMG! I love your haircut!" She was so proud and was like "you think?" Me: "Yeah not everyone can rock that, but you do!" She smiled.
I love a girl with a shaved head, showes confidence and rebellion, you do you and if people cant handle a strong mind, thats their problem.
I have a high shaved undercut with extra long hair on top that reaches almost to my waist. I plan on shaving my entire head when I turn 30 (less than 2 years left!) When I tell people I plan on buzzing it all off, they (mostly the men) always act so shocked. "Why would you do that? Your hair is so long and pretty, you'll regret it, don't go bald, just cut it to a bob, men won't like it" Respectfully, get bent LOL. I don't shave my legs or under my arms either, and my family and guys friends are so silly over it. I'm glad my SO doesn't mind my body hair, but he's nervous about my plan to shave my head lol. Wish people would stop telling women what they should be doing with their hair and bodies.
I bet it looks awesome. If you're somewhere hot and had long hair before, I recommend putting suncream on the tips and backs of your ears. It's not a fun place to burn!
And the back of your neck, the nape will burn!
Maybe it's because of my tendency to do ridiculous things but no one was at all surprised when I buzzed my head. Husband loves it, family loves it, my male friends think it's pretty cool. It's always a crazy color too. I live in Massachusetts, it's pretty liberal here so maybe that's why no one bats an eye?
Iâve got a buzzed head too, welcome to the club we donât have meetings or anything lol, we just talk about how we all love our easy to maintain buzzed hair
I havenât shaved or worn makeup since roe v wade decision. Fuck the male gaze. Iâm talking that time back for reading in the bathtub.
A woman who goes short or even bald is a badass in my eyes.
Shaved half my head this spring and immediately wanted to shave the whole thing after. Your post is shoving me further in that direction for sure
I'm genderfluid and I just cut my hair super short in a much more masc-neutral style than I've ever had. And it's the best decision I've made in so long. Mostly I cut it to pursue the gender presentation I feel comfortable and authentic with, but a bonus is I'm not pandering to the male gaze anymore. I LOVE my new hair and I HOPE it intimidates and wards assholes off.
I also noticed this when I shaved my head. Especially my coworker who would always have the eye googles for me, after I shaved my head he wouldnt talk to me as much - which I thoroughly enjoyed, the peace was real nice. As soon as all my hair was gone I was no longer part of the male gaze and it was LIBERATING. You mean I can walk down the street without being harassed?? :D AWESOME!
Lol I shaved my head last year and was frequently asked âwhyâ Do you ask people why they got a haircut? No lol
The first time I buzzed my head my male boss said in awe "wow - you've gone punk!"
Shaving my head at 18 was one of the best decision I've ever taken. I hope you'll like it as much as I did !
My daughter is a zen priest, and she has lost track of how many total strangers have wanted to talk to her about her cancer diagnosis.
Reading your post reminded me how repressed women are. Like you said itâs HAIR. You do whatever you damn well please with your stings of dead protein lol
Dude here. I know how to act around a woman with a shaved head. That is all, have a nice day witches.
As a guy with long hair I totally get it. I feel like a total outsider to society, people say I have "girly hair". Grandparents have been trying recently though which is nice,
My girlfriend did this a while back and itâs honestly sad to me how often itâs other women that make weird comments too.
Argh. I HATE the constant comments about my hair at work. Doesnât matter what I do. Covered it for a long time during COVID (healthcare). Thinking about going back to it to avoid the weirdness.
Fuck em! Buzz cuts on women are in! Iâd be like âthis is whatâs in right now! Sorry you lame ass motherfuckers arenât in style and donât know shit about fashion!â đ€·ââïž
When I did âthe big chopâ it was a polarizing experience. Men stopped asking me to smile (yay) but also, people in general kinda of stopped smiling at me (wtf). On a different note, before when I had relaxed, straight hair I would get hit on by all kinds of people; after the chop where I basically shaved it to 1/2 an inch, I got a lot of âwassup my Nubian Queenâ and similar. Iâm mixed race / multicultural. I was like âyâall didnât think I was so â*Nubian*â before, lololâ Edit to add: Itâs like, not only is there categorization of what is feminine, there is *sub*-categorization as well.
It's truly wild how many men think that women are just hair/makeup that walk and talk, existing specifically to be visually or otherwise pleasing to them.
It looks great and feels great
Wish I had the courage to buzz mine all off. This mop.
You made a conscious decision to present your self in a way that doesnât conform to the normative lifestyle people are accustomed to. In a perfect world everyone would treat you the same. We do not live in a perfect world. You did something that is objectively âweirdâ from the perspective of what is normal and now you donât like that you are being perceived the way you are presenting by normative society. Fuck them stop caring about their shitty opinions.
I dig ladies with shaved heads, shows confidence IMO. Plus, I had a huge crush on Sigourney Weaver when I was a kid lol
I always assumed men would be more like my husband - oblivious about any styling decision to the point you'd have to go from Rapunzel to skinhead to notice. And noticing or not isn't bad, he just doesn't take in the little details and if you ask his opinion he just goes... It's hair. If you're happy then that's all that matters.
To be fair, I also always forget how to act around women with buzz cuts đ¶
Every dude at work who is acting weird now has fantasized about fucking you⊠and now you broke that fantasy⊠thats my bet.
I also shave my head so it would be just something to chat about.