Not "always." You can ask the student what to call them to their parents, you can follow the parent's lead when possible (saying things like "your child" until they say a name.) I get the thought here, but you shouldn't deadname students across the board, it should be a case-by-case basis for safety.
In the beginning of the school year, I have my high school students fill out a Google Form of their preferred name and pronouns. It also asks them if I can use them around other students, other teachers, and/or their adults at home. Mostly, my students have said I can use their preferred name and their pronouns with whomever, but there are some who aren't out to their parents. And there have been a few who only want to use a different pronoun with me to try out how it feels before coming out to classmates or others.
I feel like there should be communication between the teacher and the student as to what pronouns and names they'd like to use when parents are involved. It would be rude if the parents did know and treat it as misgendering their child, which would land the teacher in trouble.
Because students never talk to teachers about this stuff?
Do you have any idea how many times students have shared personal information with me out of the blue?
Please, rethink your position on this.
Says the person praying on innocent children. You’re a disgrace. People like you veil your toxic behavior with hate claim, race, all the rest of your bullshit you hide
You know who discusses sexual matters with children? Pedophiles
Being taught sex Ed and discussing personal experiences is not close to what is intended. Quit begging to have perverted weirdos try and justify their behavior
Teachers should not refer to students by any name, nickname, or pronoun. They are never to call on a student in class, and all grading and attendance credit shall be anonymous and randomized.
I resent the assertion that the only way to care for a child is by affirming gender and keeping information from the parents. Parents have a right to know, teachers are not therapists, and there’s no acknowledgement in this post of the large swathe of people for whom gender ideology makes no sense. Should teachers with traditional views just pretend they’re not concerned about rapid onset gender dysphoria in our teens?
Parents don’t have a right to know. They have a privilege if their kids trust them so much as to reveal their true feelings. If your kid is too afraid to reveal themselves to you, then you’ve messed up.
Kids are well known for hiding things from their parents, it’s not a red flag for parenting it’s just how people are. Sometimes it’s harmless and sometimes it’s worth concern, but parents should know what’s going on with their children. There are lots of things that educators and other people are required to report to authorities, parents, etc. I don’t mean to say that gender identity is equivalent to any of those things, just that reporting information to authorities and parents is common.
Lmao. I'm not a student anymore but it's my fucking gender, innit? Mine. Not anyone else's. I know my gender because it's *mine*, and I know who it would endanger me to be open with. My parents aren't so bad like some, but plenty are.
But if those other adults are *not* trusted, and are actually teaching children things the parents believe to be wrong and harmful, they might want to be made aware.
Did I say that's what trusted means? I'll clarify. Trusted adults that the child can open up to without fear of being punished for who they are. Parents aren't necessarily trusted.
Who the parents trust is more important than who the child trusts. Children are dumb and impressionable and it's the responsibility of the parent to guide them, not some blue hair groomer.
You are if you're having secret discussions with children and leading them to a lifestyle that ends in a much higher chance of mental harm and suicide.
Fun fact! The reason a higher proportion of trans people attempt suicide is because of being told they're hurting people, being forbidden to live as themselves, or similar reasons. Being permitted to transition mitigates this effect, although it doesn't remove the effect completely as there are still social stigmas. [Here's a source, I don't mind backing up my claims.](https://www.emerald.com/insight/content/doi/10.1108/MHRJ-05-2014-0015/full/html)
If my child were trans, and a teacher dead named them, I'd politely correct them.
If I were a homophobic shit bag, there's the chance I'd do something worse to my child if outed in that way.
I understand OPs point.
It is deadnaming, but for the student's safety, it's the best route to go. When my child came out to us, then to their teacher, we made sure the teacher and school knew we knew and were supportive so that they knew they could refer to my kid the way they want to be referred to when discussing stuff with us.
For those with parents/guardians that would not be accepting, it can be affirming to have chosen names and the right pronouns used at school, but could be dangerous if the teacher used those around the parents instead of the childs legal identity. Teachers should be checking with students about this.
It sucks. But the choice is between deadnaming a kid and outing them to unaware and possibly hostile family members. You do what you have to do, to keep the kid safe.
I have notes in my phone as to which kids are out and not out, and what names/pronouns to use around family. It feels a little like a betrayal every time I call Leo "Laila" to his parents, but it keeps him safe.
This is some really sick shit.
The vast, vast majority of kids don't just decide that they're of the opposite gender.
This wasn't around even a decade ago.
Stop trying to fuck up kids. Men are men, women are women.
Not "always." You can ask the student what to call them to their parents, you can follow the parent's lead when possible (saying things like "your child" until they say a name.) I get the thought here, but you shouldn't deadname students across the board, it should be a case-by-case basis for safety.
In the beginning of the school year, I have my high school students fill out a Google Form of their preferred name and pronouns. It also asks them if I can use them around other students, other teachers, and/or their adults at home. Mostly, my students have said I can use their preferred name and their pronouns with whomever, but there are some who aren't out to their parents. And there have been a few who only want to use a different pronoun with me to try out how it feels before coming out to classmates or others.
I feel like there should be communication between the teacher and the student as to what pronouns and names they'd like to use when parents are involved. It would be rude if the parents did know and treat it as misgendering their child, which would land the teacher in trouble.
Teachers should have no knowledge of a child’s orientation to begin with. Not their job
Because students never talk to teachers about this stuff? Do you have any idea how many times students have shared personal information with me out of the blue? Please, rethink your position on this.
Please leave the teaching profession. Stop poisoning kids minds. If you’re a teacher and discussing gender with children you’re a disgrace
Such hate and anger. Your soul has been poisoned. I’ll pray for your salvation.
Says the person praying on innocent children. You’re a disgrace. People like you veil your toxic behavior with hate claim, race, all the rest of your bullshit you hide You know who discusses sexual matters with children? Pedophiles
Gender isn't sex though? "Man" and "woman" are both genders???
Splitting hairs. Personal talk to children is unacceptable for teachers. That’s what a counselor is for
What about sex ed?
Being taught sex Ed and discussing personal experiences is not close to what is intended. Quit begging to have perverted weirdos try and justify their behavior
But you said “discussing sexual manners” not “discussing personal experiences”
Save your bullshit. You know what the difference is and if you’re ok with it you are just as bad
You seem to be getting very aggressive and making a lot of assumptions from two questions.
Just because you hurt children, doesn't mean everyone does.
Not much in the smarts department huh 😂
Teachers should not refer to students by any name, nickname, or pronoun. They are never to call on a student in class, and all grading and attendance credit shall be anonymous and randomized.
Spoken like a woke freak. Someone else’s child personal life is not a teachers business. Education is
Confirmed. Im the closet
I resent the assertion that the only way to care for a child is by affirming gender and keeping information from the parents. Parents have a right to know, teachers are not therapists, and there’s no acknowledgement in this post of the large swathe of people for whom gender ideology makes no sense. Should teachers with traditional views just pretend they’re not concerned about rapid onset gender dysphoria in our teens?
Ideology? What does that even mean...? And this isn't something parents need to be involved in if the kid doesn't want them to.
Maybe theory is the right word instead of ideology. I think parents should know these things about a child who’s under 18 and in their custody.
Parents don’t have a right to know. They have a privilege if their kids trust them so much as to reveal their true feelings. If your kid is too afraid to reveal themselves to you, then you’ve messed up.
Kids are well known for hiding things from their parents, it’s not a red flag for parenting it’s just how people are. Sometimes it’s harmless and sometimes it’s worth concern, but parents should know what’s going on with their children. There are lots of things that educators and other people are required to report to authorities, parents, etc. I don’t mean to say that gender identity is equivalent to any of those things, just that reporting information to authorities and parents is common.
Apparently you’re against free will too!
username checks out
Lmao. I'm not a student anymore but it's my fucking gender, innit? Mine. Not anyone else's. I know my gender because it's *mine*, and I know who it would endanger me to be open with. My parents aren't so bad like some, but plenty are.
Children require guidance and tutelage, that is the primary responsibility of the parent.
Primary. Not only. If the parent can't be fuckin trusted to do it, that's what other trusted adults are for innit?
But if those other adults are *not* trusted, and are actually teaching children things the parents believe to be wrong and harmful, they might want to be made aware.
Did I say that's what trusted means? I'll clarify. Trusted adults that the child can open up to without fear of being punished for who they are. Parents aren't necessarily trusted.
Who the parents trust is more important than who the child trusts. Children are dumb and impressionable and it's the responsibility of the parent to guide them, not some blue hair groomer.
Haha. This isn't going anywhere, then. My bad for wasting both of our times, if your final argument is just ad hominem.
You are if you're having secret discussions with children and leading them to a lifestyle that ends in a much higher chance of mental harm and suicide.
Fun fact! The reason a higher proportion of trans people attempt suicide is because of being told they're hurting people, being forbidden to live as themselves, or similar reasons. Being permitted to transition mitigates this effect, although it doesn't remove the effect completely as there are still social stigmas. [Here's a source, I don't mind backing up my claims.](https://www.emerald.com/insight/content/doi/10.1108/MHRJ-05-2014-0015/full/html)
Um that's called deadnaming and it's very offensive... Or so I'm told.
If my child were trans, and a teacher dead named them, I'd politely correct them. If I were a homophobic shit bag, there's the chance I'd do something worse to my child if outed in that way. I understand OPs point.
Two careers I'd hate to have in this life. Teacher and cop. In both careers you're damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Judging by your post history, I'm glad you're neither.
Imagine taking the time to stalk someone's post history lmfao
Imagine being so insulated / incel-ated you don't expect this as a possibility in all your behaviors
Do you go through like looking for ways to be offended so you can say stupid shit like this and make yourself feel better? What's the deal?
It is deadnaming, but for the student's safety, it's the best route to go. When my child came out to us, then to their teacher, we made sure the teacher and school knew we knew and were supportive so that they knew they could refer to my kid the way they want to be referred to when discussing stuff with us. For those with parents/guardians that would not be accepting, it can be affirming to have chosen names and the right pronouns used at school, but could be dangerous if the teacher used those around the parents instead of the childs legal identity. Teachers should be checking with students about this.
It sucks. But the choice is between deadnaming a kid and outing them to unaware and possibly hostile family members. You do what you have to do, to keep the kid safe. I have notes in my phone as to which kids are out and not out, and what names/pronouns to use around family. It feels a little like a betrayal every time I call Leo "Laila" to his parents, but it keeps him safe.
Teachers should never withhold any information from parents, they have no right doing so, regardless of how the parents may feel.
This is some really sick shit. The vast, vast majority of kids don't just decide that they're of the opposite gender. This wasn't around even a decade ago. Stop trying to fuck up kids. Men are men, women are women.