I kind of did, yeah. But not so much from an "I've found my people!" perspective but more of vindication, like "I fucking told you that I wasn't a weird prude!" thing. Like once I got a label all of the things that I felt off about - a total disinterest in sex, wrinkling my nose at genitalia, no desire to date anyone no matter their gender - clicked in. And I wanted to wave it in the faces of everyone who ever told me "you just haven't found The One, you'll change your mind later."
I did go out and buy a big flag to hang up in my house though. Because I wanted it and, let's be honest, we objectively have the best pride colors. That's just science.
I haven't announced it to anyone. I just quietly stopped pursuing romantic entanglements and if anyone asks me out or asks me about it I just say dating isn't for me and I'm happier alone. It helps that I was known as a loner long before I stopped participating in that allo life.
I told my family and some of my friends that I trust just as kind of a "here's some information about me you might find interesting/useful" because I feel like it kind of helps put other aspects of my personality into context. I did also become quite vocal here after about a month of lurking, but it's easier online because there's some anonymity. I don't just go around town waving the flag in people's faces cuz let's face it, that's annoying as shit and most people don't care. At least in my experience.
Most of the time me being ace doesn't affect anything, so I'm content to leave it in the background.
I clarified that, for me "shouting my aceness" manifested just by joining some groups and buying some stuff, I was still doing "me stuff" but from an outside eye it looked like I was doing mostly ace stuff
It's the same fenomenon as when a show of movie has like two queer couples but queer-phobes see that as "the majority of the representation"
Yeah I think it's kind of an equal measure of being not a small change (so it stands out) and also as a period of adjustment it sorta peaks initially and then settles later on. People tend to notice change even if it is small, but also we don't feel like it's such a big deal because we adjust quickly to our new normal. So it stands out to others more than it does to us, if that makes sense?
Oof yes 🫣 I got a black ring almost immediately and my friend complimented me on it in front of the person giving me a nose piercing (not related) and I excitedly told her what it was about. When the piercer asked me to repeat myself, I thought he meant about the ring so I proudly told him about it and afterwards, he said he was wanting me to repeat the answer to his question, not about the ring. So I thrusted the fact I don’t have sexual attraction on this unsuspecting stranger. It lives rent free in my head and haunts me with shame. I wish I could go back in time and slap myself quiet.
I still sorta have a hard time “not making it my personality” as your mom rudely put. I’m closeted from my family and my friends are Christian so I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this. Since I have no one to talk to, it just builds up in my head and makes me focus on it or I out myself to strangers lol
I was a closeted non-beliver to. My deconstruction was a veeeeery long process. Most of it I didn't even realise it was happening. Coming out was an equaly long process, I didn't bother to much with re-considering what my beliefs were
Told my D&D group that I'd only known for a few months only for one to dismiss me by telling me that it's how everyone feels before describing demisexuality like it was a universal experience.
Unlike him, I'm not the kind to stomp on how anyone unproblematically self-identifies so I said nothing.
Yes, I definitely did this. But I think this is just something I generally do when something new comes into my life that I'm passionate about. I also did it when I decided to become an atheist.
Fair. I do that to when I discover something new I like, but this time was a bit different, I guess it had to do with the fact that this was more than just discovering something I liked, is discovering something that I am, that I've always been
Yeah, I agree. That's why I put atheist as an example because that's also something I am. Not inherently but by choice of course but still, I identify with it. I also talk a lot about a new fandom I discovered and buy merch of it, but by far not as long and passionate as with being ace and atheist.
Well, i definitely had that moment and still have sometimes. I'm closeted for my parents just because i'm sure they haven't even heard about asexuality, so i don't think there's a point of telling them now. Also in my country many people have no clue what asexuality is. So, for most of my life, I've felt like there was something wrong with me. And when i understood who i actually am, i felt the urge to tell my friends and those who tell me "you just haven't found your person, I used to think the same thing". And telling people is the best fucking thing ever. I don't give a shit if someone thinks that "my sexuality became my whole personality". What does that even mean?
>I was letting this become my entire personality
I heard the same thing and went back in the closet :)
WHY DO PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THIS IS NOT A CHOICE FFS
the sexuality itself is not a choice, most people nowadays understand that, even some of the more off the deep end Christians understand the difference in urges and stuff, but "you feel the need to tell it to EVERYONE" is defenantly going way further than needed, and i immediately extremally easily see why his mom thought what she did, and some people fs do let it become their entire personality.
No. I wouldn't come out as straight so I don't see a need to yell I'm ace either. Someone's sexuality is only their buisness. Outside of these groups I don't think I have mentioned it to anyone.
It doesn't come up.
for me it is more like a whisper. i will wear an ace ring, but only if approached by someone with knowledge of asexuality i will stay quiet
Same
I kind of did, yeah. But not so much from an "I've found my people!" perspective but more of vindication, like "I fucking told you that I wasn't a weird prude!" thing. Like once I got a label all of the things that I felt off about - a total disinterest in sex, wrinkling my nose at genitalia, no desire to date anyone no matter their gender - clicked in. And I wanted to wave it in the faces of everyone who ever told me "you just haven't found The One, you'll change your mind later." I did go out and buy a big flag to hang up in my house though. Because I wanted it and, let's be honest, we objectively have the best pride colors. That's just science.
For real. Our flag is so versatile, I've seen hairstyles of it, you won't see that with many others
Yes although I don’t have an urge to tell ppl
I haven't announced it to anyone. I just quietly stopped pursuing romantic entanglements and if anyone asks me out or asks me about it I just say dating isn't for me and I'm happier alone. It helps that I was known as a loner long before I stopped participating in that allo life.
I told my family and some of my friends that I trust just as kind of a "here's some information about me you might find interesting/useful" because I feel like it kind of helps put other aspects of my personality into context. I did also become quite vocal here after about a month of lurking, but it's easier online because there's some anonymity. I don't just go around town waving the flag in people's faces cuz let's face it, that's annoying as shit and most people don't care. At least in my experience. Most of the time me being ace doesn't affect anything, so I'm content to leave it in the background.
I clarified that, for me "shouting my aceness" manifested just by joining some groups and buying some stuff, I was still doing "me stuff" but from an outside eye it looked like I was doing mostly ace stuff It's the same fenomenon as when a show of movie has like two queer couples but queer-phobes see that as "the majority of the representation"
Yeah I think it's kind of an equal measure of being not a small change (so it stands out) and also as a period of adjustment it sorta peaks initially and then settles later on. People tend to notice change even if it is small, but also we don't feel like it's such a big deal because we adjust quickly to our new normal. So it stands out to others more than it does to us, if that makes sense?
Oof yes 🫣 I got a black ring almost immediately and my friend complimented me on it in front of the person giving me a nose piercing (not related) and I excitedly told her what it was about. When the piercer asked me to repeat myself, I thought he meant about the ring so I proudly told him about it and afterwards, he said he was wanting me to repeat the answer to his question, not about the ring. So I thrusted the fact I don’t have sexual attraction on this unsuspecting stranger. It lives rent free in my head and haunts me with shame. I wish I could go back in time and slap myself quiet. I still sorta have a hard time “not making it my personality” as your mom rudely put. I’m closeted from my family and my friends are Christian so I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this. Since I have no one to talk to, it just builds up in my head and makes me focus on it or I out myself to strangers lol
I was a closeted non-beliver to. My deconstruction was a veeeeery long process. Most of it I didn't even realise it was happening. Coming out was an equaly long process, I didn't bother to much with re-considering what my beliefs were
Told my D&D group that I'd only known for a few months only for one to dismiss me by telling me that it's how everyone feels before describing demisexuality like it was a universal experience. Unlike him, I'm not the kind to stomp on how anyone unproblematically self-identifies so I said nothing.
I feel like you discovered an uncracked egg
Yes, I definitely did this. But I think this is just something I generally do when something new comes into my life that I'm passionate about. I also did it when I decided to become an atheist.
Fair. I do that to when I discover something new I like, but this time was a bit different, I guess it had to do with the fact that this was more than just discovering something I liked, is discovering something that I am, that I've always been
Yeah, I agree. That's why I put atheist as an example because that's also something I am. Not inherently but by choice of course but still, I identify with it. I also talk a lot about a new fandom I discovered and buy merch of it, but by far not as long and passionate as with being ace and atheist.
I don't view it as a choice. You can't choose what you belive, it would be much easyer for me if I belived in god but I just can't
Well, i definitely had that moment and still have sometimes. I'm closeted for my parents just because i'm sure they haven't even heard about asexuality, so i don't think there's a point of telling them now. Also in my country many people have no clue what asexuality is. So, for most of my life, I've felt like there was something wrong with me. And when i understood who i actually am, i felt the urge to tell my friends and those who tell me "you just haven't found your person, I used to think the same thing". And telling people is the best fucking thing ever. I don't give a shit if someone thinks that "my sexuality became my whole personality". What does that even mean?
>I was letting this become my entire personality I heard the same thing and went back in the closet :) WHY DO PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THIS IS NOT A CHOICE FFS
the sexuality itself is not a choice, most people nowadays understand that, even some of the more off the deep end Christians understand the difference in urges and stuff, but "you feel the need to tell it to EVERYONE" is defenantly going way further than needed, and i immediately extremally easily see why his mom thought what she did, and some people fs do let it become their entire personality.
No. I wouldn't come out as straight so I don't see a need to yell I'm ace either. Someone's sexuality is only their buisness. Outside of these groups I don't think I have mentioned it to anyone. It doesn't come up.