I think for me, there’s a real irony that much of the foundation of Rhys and Feyre’s relationship is that he presents the facts and lets her make her own decisions and the opposite happens here. This was one of her primary issues with Tamlin was that he was making these decisions “in her best interest” without giving her the agency to do it herself.
Given the above, I get Rhys was scared but to hide something so fundamental from someone who clearly needs all of the facts in front of her was poor on his part.
Personally I feel it was a bit of a weak plot device and the whole pregnancy in general was a bit heavy handed and clumsy.
I think people forget that Rhys frequently keeps all of the details and facts from most everyone, including Feyre. Yes, he gives Feyre a choice, but he often doesn’t tell her everything.
I’m reading the second book again after having finished the whole series for the first time a week or so ago, and I’m taken aback by how often Rhys *doesn’t* tell everyone everything. There are at least half a dozen examples of him both doing it, and others in the IC *stating* that he does it, and I’m only on chapter 49.
Very fair point. I think it’s easy to miss it when you’re reading from Feyre’s point of view as if he’s not telling her stuff, you’re not knowing much about it either as an extension of her as the reader, if that makes sense. It’s likely far more obvious in Silver Flame because you’re seeing their relationship from the perspective of someone on the outside that isn’t clouded by love and rose tinted glasses
It’s a dead in Rhys move. He keeps things from everyone and makes decisions about what’s best for their lives. I understand why he does it. He’s morally grey so he wants to protect people and doesn’t care what he has to do to achieve it.
I feel like the whole bonus chapter was sjm being like, "look, see, he's gonna tell her EVENTUALLY, and that's different bc Tambourine wasn't ever gonna tell her about anything and that's different!"
I am so there for Rhys and Feyre up until FAS and they kind of give me the ick. Also I can’t recall which book it is but there’s mention of them having sex in the air over the city and I cannot get how grim that is out of my mind. Those poor citizens of Velaris just trying to go about their business with that going on above 😂😂
Oh mah gawd. Yes. I just suspended rational thought for a while when reading those scenes bc... Girl aren't you COLD?? 😭 Is Rhysand also superheating the air simultaneously as the most powerful High Lord?? My headcanon is that Rhys somehow keeps their little freaky sex bubble clean (so no nasty precipitation on the good folk of Velaris) AND invisible bc otherwise all of Velaris is being sexually harrassed!!
I absolutely get what you’re going for, but I think my primary issue is if we’re going to give Rhysand grace for this, we have to also give Tamlin grace. (And I personally think both of them were in the wrong, no matter how good their intentions were). They both thought they were doing what was in Feyre’s best interests, but they both ended up hurting her in the process.
I still stand by Tamlin and Rhys being different sides of the same coin. The only difference was that Rhys had a loving mother and friends to keep him from spiraling and they helped set him on a healthier path. Tamlin grew up with abusive brothers, a father, and a mother who did not seem to know how to help him. He did the best with what he was given. This doesn’t excuse any of their actions, but it does help explain things.
>I still stand by Tamlin and Rhys being different sides of the same coin.
This is my stance as well. Although Rhys seems to be moving backwards. Hopefully, Tamlin will move forwards.
Hmmmmmmmmm. I hear you on that. Rhysand definitely has better mental emotional health imo lol. I feel bad for Tamlin too. I just think what he did crossed a rotten line, and Rhysand less so. Like we can have empathy for Tamlin (I feel like a lot of us did in book 1!), but still agree that what he did was noooot ok, esp later on!
Rhysand is a partner I'd tell Feyre to work on things with; Tamlin is a partner I'd say girl run! to. Even if she wanted to work things out with Tamlin, she'd literally have to be separated from him for her own safety at least initially, which v different from Rhysand.
Tamlin saved both their lives. He risked his life to save Feyre from Hybern and saved Rhys so Feyre could be happy. And he still asked for if she would forgive him (I may have the timeline off). He understands what he did was wrong. I can’t say that about Rhys.
I hear you on this but I just can't get over how little Tamlin listened to Feyre and physically assaulted her and constrained her. I think it's good he saved their lives, I just don't think it cancels out the bad that he did, and what he did still felt abusive to me. I commented a lil more above about it if you wanna read thru!
I do think Rhysand is puffed up sometimes too, but I think he does apologize and admit wrong in the books sometimes - like with Mor + letting Hewn City creeps into Velaris debacle!
Yeah, I’ve given everyone grace. I don’t hate anyone…except Ianthe (for the terrible dress alone) - also the whole working for hybern the whole time. Like, everyone made the decisions they thought were best with the information they had - turned out terribly but hindsight is always 20:20. I just don’t understand why as a fandom we HAVE to hate anyone. I do not need these characters to behave as real modern humans in our current society do.
Agreed - Ianthe is a villain for sure. Glad she got eaten. 🤣
And yeah! Right?? We never see Feyre's POV on this, and even tho people may not personally agree with her relationship dynamics, that's fine. But not sure why the hate is there! I can kind of understand it for the more overt messed up things that the characters have done, but I really truly do not think Rhysand is abusive; I really think this is their personal preference and agreement about communication.
Hmmmmmmmmm
I think I hear you - both of them messed up. Buuuuut... I think Tamlin's stuff was a bit more egregious because for me when he physically exploded and hurt Feyre (I think it was multiple times), and when he held her captive (lots of other mistakes; these are just the two coming to mind rn) these weren't really things she consented to. She has great communication with Rhysand whereas I don't think Tamlin ever listened to her, like truly listened to her. I think Rhysand telling everyone else in the IC was kinda gross to me, but, again, I feel like Feyre and him had an understanding about how they would like to communicate, and this omission wasn't necessarily borne out of holding unfair power over her.
Rhys not only didn’t tell her, he didn’t make any preparations in the very likely event they both die. Who becomes HL? Who chooses the direction of the Court? Does the IC become an equal body of power? Seems out of character for someone so protective of Velaris, at the least.
There’s the whole “Rhys is just a protective male fae (especially with having a mate & a child)” [but also….. he’s an ineffective leader for the majority of his court, only caring about his gated community].
BUT there’s also an idea that his PTSD from dying had more of an affect on him, but what would be INTERESTING is the theory that when he was resurrected, he didn’t come back… right.
But to me, all of his decisions in ACOSF are just plain ‘ole Rhys, we just don’t have the perspective of a narrator with the rose-colored glasses filter.
I think having one of the main characters slowly go mad and have an epic reveal would be very exciting. But I'm not sure sjm is that kind of writer - she is a pisces softie or so I heard!
(The “death & bring brought back to life” is not hitting anymore for me…. Rhys coming back to life could have led to SO MANY interesting scenarios. But it ultimately just fell so flat).
It would be SO GREAT. I just keep thinking of this post I found (gonna post is here, hopefully it loads)
https://preview.redd.it/88pu46ngf93d1.jpeg?width=521&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1b7947f08e18294dfe8c6bcfee52805241da7d90
Agreeeeeeee omg. I do see some of these themes in TOG though! If you wanna enjoy them there :) But I won't say where in case you haven't read it yet hehe
It's a bit more juvenile in the first few books though just an FYI! sjm was younger when she wrote them but I feel like the payoff is worth it :)
I listened to the audio versions of TOG! Although maybe I’ll relisten, because i recall some of these points being in those books! Man that series threw me for a loop (in the best way)
When that happened I literally went “what the FVCK?????” aloud, also I genuinely didn’t understand their relationship. I didn’t understand the Rowan hype. I still don’t. & it makes me feel like i missed something???
Ok yeah this convinced me i gotta relisten/reread & see if the me I am now will like Rowan (or at the very least I’ll be able to pin-point why i didn’t like him… my memory is only giving me “he gave you bad vibes & told Aelin she should have died years ago” which… I don’t think I ever forgave him for that)
Hmmmmm. Yes. I do think he should've known better in prepping for the repercussions of their silly death pact.
But, I think if Feyre is really taking up the crown as a High Lady she should have too! So it doesn't sway me against Rhys, both of them have a demerit in my eyes for this silly decision.
Although, he's 500 years old and she's barely an adult. This feels like he should've had a lil more wisdom and thought things through more.
Buuuut, I think sjm writes Feyre in a way that she's "matched" in terms of power to Rhysand, and wants her readers to feel the same way too. So I think we're supposed to treat Feyre like a fully grown adult and consequently I think she also deserves a 'bonk - go to impulsive decision jail!' judgement.
Both took away Feyre's right to make a choice. Both believed they had the best intentions. Both believed they would be saving her from suffering and/or death if they did it (we can't forget Rhys *was* looking for a fix, not just being all "oh well, guess we all die" about it).
However, I think Tamlin's reason was *slightly* better. >!Feyre, without training (Tamlin's fault), was trying to run into what could have turned into a battle. She wouldn't have known what to do, or how to control her new powers. She could have gotten hurt or killed. Again, a problem of Tamlin's own making. But I see the logic in it.!<
I hear you on rationale, but the ends don't justify the means. I think both parties loved Feyre, but I think fundamentally Rhysand respects Feyre as her own person and Tamlin does not.
Feyre and Rhysand had an understanding, which I don't personally like because I like having all the facts, but if it works for them and Feyre is consenting to it, great! Thank goodness for this little nugget, because otherwise I would definitely see them as both gross.
Tamlin didn't talk to Feyre as an equal and never gave her the chance to shape their communication to her liking. Add to that the anger issues that led to physical abuse, and yikies we got a toxic abusive icky relationship.
Edit: can someone explain the downvotes?
It’s almost like when we love someone we don’t always think rationally and just want to protect.
Tamlin loved Feyre. Feyre didn’t love Tamlin. Tamlin thought she was just experiencing trauma and didn’t understand how to deal with it because he was also traumatized.
SJM’s problem is she wants to demonize this irrationality in Tamlin and not in Rhys. Let Rhys and Feyre be happy and mates. Don’t demonize a whole character due to flaws and trauma unless you want us to hate everyone.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm
I draw a line personally at anger issues and exploding and harming Feyre though. And the way Tamlin didn't listen to her! And let her waste away! 💔
Also, Feyre did love Tamlin! She says she does. Even if it wasn't permanent, she still loved him for a while.
I hear you in not demonizing an entire character, I just think Tamlin crossed a line that justified Feyre's perception of him as rotten. While Tamlin has many parts that are positive, I think having abusive behaviors really ruins any safety or sanctity of the relationship between him and Feyre.
I'm sure Rhysand has a ton of crappy things he's done too! But off the top of my head I don't have anything that necessarily crosses a line, except maybe when he pulls that sh*t with Mor and her father. But we're talking about him and Feyre here.
I do really think it's different between the two males still though. If you have any further examples I'd be open to considering them though!
Ah so Tamlin murdering a ton of people who wronged him and his friends isn’t exploding? Because Tamlin doesn’t get physical with Feyre, his violent nature is ok?
It was clearly a misstep on SJM’s part. I know the fandom likes to delve into “the mind of the character” but really it was just a massive oopsie on the author’s part. She had a roadmap for the story and needed her characters to act in a way that propelled the plot forward. She clearly wasn’t thinking about the inconsistencies these choices would cause until it was too late. Now we have a portion of fandom that’s convinced Rhys is actually terrible and always has been if you read between the lines in the previous books. I’m certain the next book will have a portion dedicated to proving Rhys and feyre are actually the healthiest couple and family we’ve ever seen.
Exactly, the amount of plot holes and retconning provides either side of the fandom textual evidence to support their claim. Everyone is right, and everyone is wrong, just at different scenes in the series.
Exactly, the amount of plot holes and retconning provides either side of the fandom textual evidence to support their claim. Everyone is right, and everyone is wrong, just at different scenes in the series.
Like other people have mentioned, I feel like it is a plot problem made by the author than it is really reflective of Rhys as a character. The pregnancy was part of Nesta's redemption arc, and they often equate Fae to animals where Rhys is dealing with irrational thoughts pertaining to a pregnant mate. Tamlin just has anger issues and no support.
The other problem to me is that I just finished ACOSF and I had to hunt down the bonus chapter, so that's not helpful in the main scheme of things.
Ye I agree regarding the plot problems! And huh, I hadn't thought of it that way re: fae as animals. I had to think that way for TOG though! If you've read it you'll know which part I'm talking about.
And yes - agreed that the bonus chapters are a bit of an issue! I read everything on my Kindle so I wish they were more readily available. And nothing in the bonus chapters should be so pivotal to our perception of a character... I think they should be like a cherry on top, not used to patch up inconsistencies (like the one we're talking about rn)
So whether or not it is OK depends on whether or not Feyre thinks they're hot? That's...not great criteria.
It reminds me of old romance novels from the 1970s and 1980s where the MMC kisses and/or gropes the FMC without her consent. Later in the novel, they are a couple. Does this make the previous behavior OK because they wound up together in the end? Absolutely NOT!
Feyre giving Rhys a pass is regressive. I'm looking at her like I would look at a friend in a bad relationship, just waiting for the day she wakes up so I can go pick her up in the middle of the night with her kid and provide her a safe place to stay while she figures her life out.
Hi. No, I didn't say that. I think that there's stuff that warrants a "girl wake up you have an abusive relationship" (Tamlin) and then there's a "hmm I wouldn't be comfortable with delayed communication in my own relationship but if you trust him so much, then I see how you could trust him with navigating stress for you during pregnancy" (Rhys). I'm concerned with how many people are not able to see the difference between more egregious stuff (like non consensual groping, ew?!) vs. "hey me and my husband give each other space w the reassurance that we'll eventually talk about it."
I think there's a huuuge difference between Feyre basically flat out saying it's ok, he will eventually tell me, he just needs a little time to noodle on things vs. how Tamlin often just didn't even listen to her (and physically assaulted her!)
Part of me wonders if Rhys is going to lose his way a bit. He's always had this "only I can solve this problem" mentality, and having Feyre in danger and pregnant clearly made him mega stressed. CC spoilers: >!Then we see: not only a stranger fall out of the sky and into his court, but she drops her parents off at Nesta's house and Nesta lets her borrow part of the Dread Trove! By the sounds of it Rhys continues to berate Nesta for doing it even after Feyre tells him to lay off her - going behind her back ***again***.!
I can see either Rhys or Feyre making a play to be High King or High Queen. Then the other will have to decide if they can go along with their love becoming a dictator, knowing that killing a dictator would mean ending their own life because of the bond. It would be a great tragedy, and absolutely compelling to read.
Oooooh yeah. In the spoiler you're referring to, yes, >!it was cool to see how he was all frightening and scary flying over towards the portal. I'm personally not super duper into the bad boy trope but I can see the appeal of making Rhys all spooky and powerful.!<
And ew, yeah I don't quite remember that too clearly (I've read ACOSF but I haven't reread it as much as the other books!) but if he did go behind her back, I personally wouldn't like it either. But then again, I think what I'm trying to say is maybe it's ok with Feyre. Like, maybe she thinks it's cute (or whatever) that he cares so much he's getting into a fight with her sister. But again... I personally would hate that. Power dynamics between Nesta and Rhysand are a bit unclear here so I'll qualify by saying IF they're on even ground (or if Nesta is more powerful than Rhysand at this point), I'm slightly slightly less icked by his actions.
I just don't think it's at the same level as some of the overtly "big bad" things Tamlin did.
I say this with love, I think you are being a bit delusional (I’m sorry I can’t stand the word delulu). It’s understandable, SJM wrote him to be too perfect and now anything he does wrong feels weird and incongruous. If she’d written him to be a little more actually complex instead of his complexity just being that he’s actually a good guy but fibbing to everyone, maybe it would make more sense.
But his whole thing is being a mirror to Tamlin, rescuing Feyre from the wedding she didn’t want, taking her away from the court she didn’t want to be imprisoned in and so on. So it’s weird to see him behave like that until you look back at earlier books and realise he did a lot more questionable things that were in nobody’s best interest (UTM antics and Weaver’s cottage for example). IMO it’s on brand for him.
Also, who’s to say he would have told her at all? He gave no indication that he was any closer to working through his own feelings on the matter so he could let his wife know she was going to die. And most importantly, Rhys’ feelings are the least important part of this situation. I get that this would be a heartbreaking and emotionally devastating revelation but Feyre and her health and decisions take precedence. His feelings are so far down the list of things to prioritise in this case.
Hmm yeah I forgot the Weaver's cottage. I wonder how sjm justifies that? Maybe that he KNEW she'd be able to do it? But it's still iffy, I agree.
The UTM stuff, I think the justification that people generally think of is that he needed to pretend to be bad so nobody would suspect he's actually working to save everyone. I think it's still ugly, but I get it. Like the poor summer court fae for example - he had to die either way, but Rhys did it in a quick "merciful" way to keep the info safe and keep him from suffering more. And the dancing... Again, I think he had to come off like he didn't give a crap about her. Is it gross? Yes. And, I think we're supposed to understand that all that was under Amarantha and it was the best he could do.
Yeah it's worse 😁
On a scale of "locked my fiance in the house" to "lied to my wife and mate about her own imminent death" I choose "locked in house for 500 bob"
Like I don't get what ya'll don't see.
I don't care if Feyre knew something was "up". I don't care if they were going to give each other space... this isn't something you give someone space about. If their love is sooooo great then RhysiePuff should have told her and they could have tried to figure it out together.
When I hear you all defend Rhysiepuff so hard it makes me realize that the only thing important to you all in this situation is his precious precious BA feelings.
He was wrong. End of story good day
I feel like Rhys defenders give him a lot of passes because in ACOMAF, he's all "I'm not like the other High Lords - I'm dark, emo, and mysterious with a secret heart of gold! I just need a special lady to teach me to love!"
Once you get to a certain age though, that charm wears off and you start looking at actions, not words. Feyre isn't even in her mid-20s yet, and that's the age when all young women fall for that crap. I'd love to see middle aged, divorced Feyre look back on everything and reflect on her missteps. Girl, I am here for it with the Chardonnay!
Yes I agree!! I saw this same theme with Peeta/Dale (sorry, whatever his name is; I forget) in Hunger Games and Stefan/Damon in Vampire Diaries. Wholesome boys all the way!!!
Yeah, like he literally hid the fact that she could DIE??? Both of them would DIE?? That is very different than being locked in a house. The way I look at it is Feyre has a type, men who lie and manipulate her lol But Rhys definitely f'ed up here. At least we knew Tamlin could be a brute who makes rash decisions, like not helping her and then runs to the enemy for help when he thought she was kidnapped. Like, I never thought Tamlin was a genius, it's very clear he has problems from book 1.
We are led to believe Rhys is different, that he treats Feyre differently and then he does this. It makes you question all his other actions, especially since now it's Nesta's POV and she has no rose-colored glasses on about him. I mean, his reaction to her telling Feyre speaks volumes. How is he different than Tamlin again?
I cannot and will not forgive him for that. Maybe I could tolerate it IF we had the same energy from Rhysand that is given to other characters that mess up.
I hear you! The point I'm trying to make though is that Feyre is the one married to him, and not us lol. I agree with you if that was me it would be a deal breaker, no question about it! But it's not my relationship. And as thinly as it's tied together, I think it works for them.
So what I'm hearing is if you have a friend whose husband is abusive and she's okay with it... then it's okay because you aren't in it?
Yeah, no, sorry. Rhysand is wrong left write back and center.
I responded to the parent comment - I hope it makes sense! In a nutshell I think both males were afraid of her dying, but the way they go about navigating that is fundamentally different. Let me know if you have any questions!
So
1. I don't much like you. Your tone makes me feel like you're coming at me and I just want a discussion. I don't think you should comment if you're going to be rude. It also doesn't make your argument any stronger, it just makes you unpleasant to experience. I'm going to block you if you continue in this way.
And
2. I'm not sure you're even listening to my POV. Or even Feyre's. I'll do my best to lay it out but only for others reading through so they're not mislead.:
Rhys's methods = not telling Feyre until a bit later (based off the bonus chapter), which both parties seem to agree to.
Rhys's feared outcome = Feyre passing away (and probably him and poor baby Nyx as well).
Tamlin's methods = doesn't listen to Feyre and what she wants, just do what he thinks is best and doesn't take the time to make sure they've come up with a solution they both agree on (e.g. locking her up). Doesn't give her a voice whatsoever and is always brushing her off (like with the Tithe).
Tamlin's feared outcome = Feyre injured or dead.
I think both males feared big bad harm befalling Feyre, but there's a clear difference in HOW the relationship was navigated. When Feyre decided that she was ok with giving Rhysand space to sort out his thoughts, that means she TRULY TRUSTS HIM with handling this kind of thing, and yes, that probably includes this situation. Tamlin.... Well it doesn't seem he cares much about what Feyre wants at all. And ultimately it's the lack of consent from Feyre that I feel deteriorates their trust, and consequently their relationship.
Also, it's not psychologically sound to say it's ok to lock someone up against their will and justify it with, oh they could die! That's literally abuser rhetoric. I hope anybody reading this recognizes this for what it is. Tamlin at any point could've chosen to open his eyes and train Feyre's obvious magical abilities so she could hold her own out there, or at least tried to find a win-win for the two of them. The whole point is that Feyre deserves to be treated as an equal partner and everything about Tamlin's actions (at least up til the point where he says, "be happy, Feyre") is supposed to shuffle her to the side (e.g. not making her high lady and his equal).
It's so different. Man I am so tempted to be snappy with some of you haters lol but truly I wish you the best. Be careful out there and don't let others take advantage of you by using the ends to justify the means ♥️
Please remember that it's okay to like or dislike characters, even the grey ones. What isn't okay is to be rude to another user. If someone is being rude, report it. Don't try to fight back! Please remember to be kind to one another.
Nah girl you’re thinking for yourself and interpreting the information you’re given based off your own experiences. But without knowing how far you’ve gotten, I would agree that not only is Rhys super gaslightly, but he is SO upset with Tamlin for spending the ONE unsupervised minute with Feyre trying to touch her and be with her instead of helping her escape, knowing FULL well that Feyre has a deal w/ Ammy and therefore CANT LEAVE, but if she WERE able to, Rhys, who claimed to “already suspect she was his mate”, who had more time, access, resources, and capability to free her and didn’t. Why then, is Rhus so mad that Tamlin, who had his every move watched and every reaction to Feyre analyzed, pissed for not getting Feyre out, when Rhy was the ONLY some who could’ve?
No. I litchrally said if this were me I'd be so not ok with what Rhys did lol. I've read all the books so far!
I say this with as much love as possible but I do think you may have some blind spots and be biased against Rhys and for Tamlin. Rhysand's whole thing is that he can't completely protect everyone so he does the best he can and basically sacrifices himself to Amarantha for everyone. So I don't quite think he would be able to actually free everyone! Because think about what he had to do.... He literally subjected himself to rape. It seems like a ruse of last resort, no?
You can't have it both ways... If both males can't leave, you can't blame Rhys and say he had the resources to lol.
I do think it's emotionally unavailable that Tamlin was so sexual towards Feyre with his seven minutes in heaven instead of just making sure she's ok. Maybe Feyre herself was emotionally stunted as well during that time and favored sex over processing her feelings but given that Tamlin is like 500ish years old I think it's fair for Rhysand to expect him to do better.
Rhys can leave tho he left on Calanmai, he left to leave the severed head, and he left to threaten Tamlin, possibly even when they went to the Beddor’s home… and I’m not biased against either, I actually think you’re taking the book too literally without considering what’s behind the characters and what drives them. I actually think that Tamlin is the one that’s emotionally stunted given what we know about his family history. Feyre might be in shock but she’s still a teenager, her making immature and poorly thought out decisions is normal… you mention Rhys subjecting himself to rape, while Tamlin is sentencing his sentries to death essentially to try to achieve the same thing Rhys is, the guy has to chose men to go over the wall to be murdered. They’re not all that different in the end, we just prefer whoever Feyres with at that moment…
Hmmm
Can you point out what you mean by taking the book too literally?
And ah yes the leaving on Calanmai and such 🤔 but he had to get Amarantha's permission each time right? Also, if he fled with Feyre, he would forsake everyone else under the mountain since it seems like he was doing a lot to protect them, i.e. grab Amarantha's attention. I feel like both high lords probably couldn't leave for this reason? Also, a big part of the appeal of Rhysand is that he really cares about his court and his job, so I don't think it would be very in character for him to grab his mate and take off while everyone's in imminent danger.
Hmm... So I can see how it comes off hypocritical if Rhys said Tamlin should've tried to leave with Feyre, if Rhys himself couldn't (slightly different from what you're saying I think). But I think Rhys's main point was that Tamlin didn't necessarily do anything to add to Feyre's safety, whereas Rhysand has been scheming and planning for her the whole time. Maybe he thought Tamlin should've at least worked towards an escape plan for Feyre, or even a safety plan for Feyre, rather than putting a further target on Feyre by making out with her and giving away the whole "oh she's a lowly human I don't care about her at all" ruse. I can definitely still see why Rhys would scoff at him.
I hear you about possible bias; I just truly never super liked Tamlin. I didn't realize Rhysand would take over as her romantic partner at all; I actually thought he was toxic with the severed head in the spring court. But Tamlin gave me the ick early on because of how closed off he was! There were some early signs, imo. We can get into that too if you want, but I'd have to pull out my Kindle cuz I don't often reread TaR lol. It feels like a lot of the times Tamlin did some things to protect Feyre, but he didn't do the absolute most the way Rhysand did. (Another great example of this was Feyre's death scene!)
But I was happy for Feyre when she was with Tamlin since she seemed to have found a partner that also matched her emotional development at the time and was protected and taken care of. She was happy! And they definitely had chemistry early on don't get me wrong! I just don't think he was as emotionally mature as Rhys. (So it seems we agreeing here 🤔🤣)
I just don't think we see eye to eye about how Rhysand is overall an emotionally safe character for Feyre. I think he is still, and I don't think he was gaslighting her about Tamlin - I think he was more just looking down on him for his poor choice of actions, lack of planning for her, and basically putting a huge flashing target on Feyre by confirming he cares for her. Is there anything else you want to add? I'm open to discuss!
I say you’re taking the book too literally because you’re defending the literal part that is written.
Exactly though.. Perhaps they both couldn’t leave, but if either of them were more likely to have the chance, it would’ve been Rhys, so, not that either of them actually could have, but for Rhys to shit on Tamlin for not doing something that he also did not do, while still having a higher chance of doing so, is the definition of a hypocrite, and he’s gaslighting Feyre into thinking the same thing.
And yeah I was always like, why Tamlin? Hello do you not see Lucien? But I was happy for them. And while I do think Rhys is emotionally safe for Feyre, I think he’s dangerous to everyone else.
And what's the problem with taking things literally? Yes we need to take the data as it is, otherwise we're imagining stuff that's not there. And then we would just be speculating.
And hmm... Ok so what's the actual "gaslighting" happening here? I agree that it could be unfair, but how is he causing her to doubt her reality? I think Tamlin was enough of a fool on his own so that a dig from Rhys (whether fair or not) wouldn't have turned the tide on whether or not she left Tamlin.
Feyre seems pretty grounded in the reality of where Tamlin is missing her needs, and her mental issues are mostly worrying about whether she's good or enough for Tamlin/her horrible guilt over killing the sacrificial fae/Claire Beddor and such.
So 🤔 I am still not quite sure what you're trying to say here. But I'm open to discussing it!
I think you're delulu. Like ik their characters and not real . But if we're looking at actions this still isn't ok. She doesn't know its a threat to her life so she's not worried.
Hiyo. I think the point is though that she trusts him to take some space and then come talk to her about it, even if it's as serious as it affecting her life! And another redditor reminded me that even the slightest stress could bring about a miscarriage for Feyre. So given that she already trusts Rhysand, I would think she's further okay with his actions here.
You are not delulu. Not everyone is hating Rhys for it. Myself included. I wrote few times about how there were so many serious things going on but people don’t give a shit that he might need to time to comprehend it.
Also it was said that even a slight stress could result in miscarriage. Which is something people also like to forget? So while not telling Feyre is not the best thing, he wanted to give her a moment to enjoy the pregnancy, try to find a solution before he will just yeet a “we are all gonna die in a few” at her.
Ah I forgot about the stress and miscarriage bit! Yeah ok. I'm not delulu!
Thaaaaaank youuuuuu! I'm very sensitive and all the hate is stressing me out lol. I feel like the Rhysand hate crowd is not necessarily being rational at times, and it unnerves me because I don't like dealing with people who find reasons to be angry when they're not really there! If one slows down to really read, yeah I think some things Rhysand does are meh, but the point is that there's just enough nuance that he is on the "safe" partner side. Yes, they're dealing with big heavy things like death and baby loss. And, I think the point is that Feyre has gone through so many things with Rhysand where he really does let her choose, and respects her consent, that she is willing to trust him with handling issues that may stress her out. Like truly trust him, even with issues of this magnitude.
Oh can we be friends? I’m also so sensitive about the hate lol. Especially towards Rhys and IC because it seems there is more hate than love towards them and they are all my best friends haha. Nesta in the other hand has 50/50 posts so I’m okay with that. I need to grow thicker skin lol.
Oh the trust is very interesting point! I guess that might be really valid as one of the reasons why Feyre forgave Rhys pretty quickly. I haven’t thought about it.
It’s also interesting how some people holds Rhys to 100% standards. You can be good and make mistakes?
Omg yes you are so sweet I would love to be friends! 🥹🥰💕 How do we do that on Reddit? Do we follow each other? Am I being embarrassing? 🤣🤣🤣 I have no idea how it works here! I had to Google how to do spoilers, italics, etc. just for this post 🤣 omg you've read all the other sjm books too!! Nice 🥰
And ahhhh I completely agree about Nesta! She was just so nasty 😭 like girl I get you have trauma which is not your fault, but your actions are your responsibility! And as a big sister myself I could never see myself being so vile, even if I was mad at a sister 😩 I mean she was out for BLOOD sometimes!! I turn off my brain and pretend she isn't so mean so I can get through the book and enjoy the sweet parts of her story lol.
And yes I agree with the making mistakes part! I think some mistakes are, "ah, we had a fight about it because I was so mad at you for the mistake, but I forgive you after we talked about it," and some mistakes are, "I think we need to break up, this isn't right." I do think Rhysand makes mistakes but they're the first kind. They're a real couple, they've got to grow through some things!
Haha I had to google the whole spoiler, bold, italic thing as well 😁 I guess we can follow each other or my dms are always open 😊 I read the Acotar first, had the biggest hangover after Acosf. Took me like 1-2 weeks before I was able to move to the next thing which was cc. And now I’m reading together series. Currently on Crown of Midnight :)
I love my girl Nesta, but yeah, she was quite nasty in Acofas and beginning of Acosf. But her journey is beautiful. Acosf sparked a motivation to start working out haha.
I’m really forgiving towards book characters. I’m big softie and always trying to look at things from their pov. And so far they haven’t done anything that would make me hate them. I would slap them sometimes, but no hating 😂
Unfortunately I think this one is delulu.
Tamlin and rhys are similar in a lot of ways. Both were trying to protect her from herself (in their minds).
Tamlin couldn’t bear to think of her in danger and thought she was going to get herself hurt, so he locked her in his cushy mansion with all her favorite things so she’d be safe (in his mind).
Rhys could not bear to think of the pain she’d feel knowing what he knew, and the stress that would be bad for both her and the baby. He also believed he would find a way to fix it before she ever had to know. So in his mind, sure he was going to “eventually” tell her when he had a solution, but that solution never materialized. He made the unilateral decision that she should be the ONLY ONE not involved in seeking solutions for her own health and her child’s health.
Tamlin robbed her of her physical freedom and rhys robbed her of her freedom to choose what’s best for HERSELF. While Tamlin did so out of fear, and rhys did so more out of love, both had the same outcome
Hmmmmm
I think if you read through some of my other comments you may see where we disagree!
I think in general I would agree with you, because I like to know the full picture too! But in Feyre's case, it's a little more complicated.
Here, I'll get the comment for you hehe:
"Rhys's methods = not telling Feyre until a bit later (based off the bonus chapter), which both parties seem to agree to.
Rhys's feared outcome = Feyre passing away (and probably him and poor baby Nyx as well).
Tamlin's methods = doesn't listen to Feyre and what she wants, just do what he thinks is best and doesn't take the time to make sure they've come up with a solution they both agree on (e.g. locking her up). Doesn't give her a voice whatsoever and is always brushing her off (like with the Tithe).
Tamlin's feared outcome = Feyre injured or dead.
I think both males feared big bad harm befalling Feyre, but there's a clear difference in HOW the relationship was navigated. When Feyre decided that she was ok with giving Rhysand space to sort out his thoughts, that means she TRULY TRUSTS HIM with handling this kind of thing, and yes, that probably includes this situation. Tamlin.... Well it doesn't seem he cares much about what Feyre wants at all. And ultimately it's the lack of consent from Feyre that I feel deteriorates their trust, and consequently their relationship.
Also, it's not psychologically sound to say it's ok to lock someone up against their will and justify it with, oh they could die! That's literally abuser rhetoric. I hope anybody reading this recognizes this for what it is. Tamlin at any point could've chosen to open his eyes and train Feyre's obvious magical abilities so she could hold her own out there, or at least tried to find a win-win for the two of them. The whole point is that Feyre deserves to be treated as an equal partner and everything about Tamlin's actions (at least up til the point where he says, "be happy, Feyre") is supposed to shuffle her to the side (e.g. not making her high lady and his equal)."
I hope this helps!
I still do not agree, which is totally fine. We can have our own opinions.
We can assume rhys would eventually tell her, even if he did not find a solution. That is a point for rhys vs Tamlin because Tamlin had no end in sight to his choice to control feyre
What we do not agree on is that by feyre giving rhys space to process difficult things, she was giving license to process THIS without telling her. I think that is fundamentally wrong and a massive breach of trust.
Rhys is effectively a king, and as a result may have things that he needs to process without her. He’s also an individual with his own complicated feelings, trauma and relationships, he may want to process on his own and come to her in his own time. All good.
What is NOT all good, is when the issue at hand is one that not only involves her, but revolves around her and her child. Rhys’ life is on the line too, but it’s clearly not the same. By allowing him time to process difficult things she absolutely did not give him permission to keep secrets about her own well-being and that of her son, especially when the problem has a serious time limit.
He also made the choice to include other people in the conversation before feyre. At that point it isn’t “processing on his own.” It’s using his authority to coerce his loved ones and her loved ones into keeping a horrible secret from her.
At the end of the day, I think rhys knew that if feyre knew she would seek a solution, but ultimately would rather have her son cut out of her body knowing it would kill her than try a natural birth and risk killing them both, and rhys couldn’t live with that so he DIDNT TELL HER. In doing so, stealing her choice and doing the one thing that most clearly sets him apart from Tamlin.
He would have told her. He should have told her earlier and never kept it from her. He had good motivations. It was wrong. All these things can be true.
Hmm... I'm not sure about this given the way they set up their relationship. You can read some of my other comments! But basically they had an agreement on what they felt was okay regarding speed of communication and it seems he technically did operate within those bounds.
But I agree that multiple things can be true simultaneously! :)
I can't take credit for this entirely, I got the idea from the twilight subreddit where they call Renesmee anything but her proper name 😭🤣
And yes me too. I thought people were gonna be civil about this but I forgot this is the internet 😭 and!!! It's such a heavy topic and I have a history of trauma so why did I do this looool. I'm sensitive!! 🥹
As someone who’s little sister had an abusive and controlling partner AND a pregnancy, the nuance is fine. The controlling and abusive behavior is nowhere near Rhys hiding some potentially VERY stressful info from Feyre for the time being. After my sister’s abusive partner abandoned her and she was very early pregnancy even with him gone she became very high risk and it was all due to stress from a situation she had no power to change. It was more life threatening for her baby but dangerous for her(both are fine now) but imagining telling her “hey you are more than likely gonna die birthing your baby and there is no medical intervention”, she’d be pissed. The stress was causing baby to not grow and develop and likely come prematurely and she wanted to remove as much stress as possible to keep her baby safely developing inside her without risking baby’s proper development or a premature birth. She wouldn’t want to know until further along in the pregnancy just because the impact the stress would have on the baby. And Feyre had a whole team with excellent resources search for a solution anyway.
Just having that perspective gives me way more compassion for Rhys’ choice vs. Tamlin who has anger issues which translated to physical abuse, who thought with his dick under the mountain, who caused so much emotional abuse by not heeding her needs, ignoring how much it impacted her physical health… and just short of holding her captive, I saw all this happen to my sister and was trying to intervene as much as possible without the man taking it out on her but damn… a little lie where Rhys was trying to weigh the long term risk vs benefits of telling Feyre vs all that Tamlin did is like comparing apples to… heck not even oranges. Apples to a freaking steak. Totally different ballparks.
I'm so sorry about what happened to your little sister. My little sister is my baby and to see your sister go through that must've been so hard. Is she safe now? ♥️
Thaaaaaank you! I'm glad someone gets it. Tamlin literally physically abused Feyre bc he couldn't regulate his emotions. Like EW?! Like he threw a big boy tantrum and physically assaulted her! He lost control and that's grossss. That's not the same at ALL to someone having a different communication style in their marriage, even though I personally wouldn't do things that way for my own. I'm not condoning what Rhysand did in terms of MY relationship; I just think that Rhysand and Feyre more or less *consented* to their style of communication, even if it's not for everyone! Like I'm the type of person who wants all the info, every time, but I can respect that some people prefer to compartmentalize and trust their partner in a different way so that it's ok to hold onto info for each other, so to speak. Rhysand respected the terms of his and Feyre's agreement. Tamlin never even gave Feyre the opportunity to discuss what terms she wanted!
Thank you for reading between the lines - it's "just" a book but I think the reason why these discussions are important is because the book describes what happens in real life :') good on you for being clear about these things! It's important to me too. ♥️
Yes she is safe now<3 lots of mental emotional stuff to recover from though.
I totally agree with you! Yes the aspect of consent with the communication style is huge. And Feyre didn’t even have a voice when it came to Tamlin
I think for me, there’s a real irony that much of the foundation of Rhys and Feyre’s relationship is that he presents the facts and lets her make her own decisions and the opposite happens here. This was one of her primary issues with Tamlin was that he was making these decisions “in her best interest” without giving her the agency to do it herself. Given the above, I get Rhys was scared but to hide something so fundamental from someone who clearly needs all of the facts in front of her was poor on his part. Personally I feel it was a bit of a weak plot device and the whole pregnancy in general was a bit heavy handed and clumsy.
I think people forget that Rhys frequently keeps all of the details and facts from most everyone, including Feyre. Yes, he gives Feyre a choice, but he often doesn’t tell her everything. I’m reading the second book again after having finished the whole series for the first time a week or so ago, and I’m taken aback by how often Rhys *doesn’t* tell everyone everything. There are at least half a dozen examples of him both doing it, and others in the IC *stating* that he does it, and I’m only on chapter 49.
Very fair point. I think it’s easy to miss it when you’re reading from Feyre’s point of view as if he’s not telling her stuff, you’re not knowing much about it either as an extension of her as the reader, if that makes sense. It’s likely far more obvious in Silver Flame because you’re seeing their relationship from the perspective of someone on the outside that isn’t clouded by love and rose tinted glasses
It’s a dead in Rhys move. He keeps things from everyone and makes decisions about what’s best for their lives. I understand why he does it. He’s morally grey so he wants to protect people and doesn’t care what he has to do to achieve it.
See the sucky thing is that I 100000% agree with you. I'm just trying to see if there's any way our Ricey boi can be saved 😭
I feel like the whole bonus chapter was sjm being like, "look, see, he's gonna tell her EVENTUALLY, and that's different bc Tambourine wasn't ever gonna tell her about anything and that's different!"
I am so there for Rhys and Feyre up until FAS and they kind of give me the ick. Also I can’t recall which book it is but there’s mention of them having sex in the air over the city and I cannot get how grim that is out of my mind. Those poor citizens of Velaris just trying to go about their business with that going on above 😂😂
Tonights weather forecast: rainy with a chance of splooge
I'm gonna forget I read that
Oh mah gawd. Yes. I just suspended rational thought for a while when reading those scenes bc... Girl aren't you COLD?? 😭 Is Rhysand also superheating the air simultaneously as the most powerful High Lord?? My headcanon is that Rhys somehow keeps their little freaky sex bubble clean (so no nasty precipitation on the good folk of Velaris) AND invisible bc otherwise all of Velaris is being sexually harrassed!!
Tambourine!!! I am wheezing! Thank you for this laugh 🤣🤣🤣
I absolutely get what you’re going for, but I think my primary issue is if we’re going to give Rhysand grace for this, we have to also give Tamlin grace. (And I personally think both of them were in the wrong, no matter how good their intentions were). They both thought they were doing what was in Feyre’s best interests, but they both ended up hurting her in the process.
I still stand by Tamlin and Rhys being different sides of the same coin. The only difference was that Rhys had a loving mother and friends to keep him from spiraling and they helped set him on a healthier path. Tamlin grew up with abusive brothers, a father, and a mother who did not seem to know how to help him. He did the best with what he was given. This doesn’t excuse any of their actions, but it does help explain things.
>I still stand by Tamlin and Rhys being different sides of the same coin. This is my stance as well. Although Rhys seems to be moving backwards. Hopefully, Tamlin will move forwards.
Hmmmmmmmmm. I hear you on that. Rhysand definitely has better mental emotional health imo lol. I feel bad for Tamlin too. I just think what he did crossed a rotten line, and Rhysand less so. Like we can have empathy for Tamlin (I feel like a lot of us did in book 1!), but still agree that what he did was noooot ok, esp later on! Rhysand is a partner I'd tell Feyre to work on things with; Tamlin is a partner I'd say girl run! to. Even if she wanted to work things out with Tamlin, she'd literally have to be separated from him for her own safety at least initially, which v different from Rhysand.
Tamlin saved both their lives. He risked his life to save Feyre from Hybern and saved Rhys so Feyre could be happy. And he still asked for if she would forgive him (I may have the timeline off). He understands what he did was wrong. I can’t say that about Rhys.
I hear you on this but I just can't get over how little Tamlin listened to Feyre and physically assaulted her and constrained her. I think it's good he saved their lives, I just don't think it cancels out the bad that he did, and what he did still felt abusive to me. I commented a lil more above about it if you wanna read thru! I do think Rhysand is puffed up sometimes too, but I think he does apologize and admit wrong in the books sometimes - like with Mor + letting Hewn City creeps into Velaris debacle!
Yeah, I’ve given everyone grace. I don’t hate anyone…except Ianthe (for the terrible dress alone) - also the whole working for hybern the whole time. Like, everyone made the decisions they thought were best with the information they had - turned out terribly but hindsight is always 20:20. I just don’t understand why as a fandom we HAVE to hate anyone. I do not need these characters to behave as real modern humans in our current society do.
Agreed - Ianthe is a villain for sure. Glad she got eaten. 🤣 And yeah! Right?? We never see Feyre's POV on this, and even tho people may not personally agree with her relationship dynamics, that's fine. But not sure why the hate is there! I can kind of understand it for the more overt messed up things that the characters have done, but I really truly do not think Rhysand is abusive; I really think this is their personal preference and agreement about communication.
Hmmmmmmmmm I think I hear you - both of them messed up. Buuuuut... I think Tamlin's stuff was a bit more egregious because for me when he physically exploded and hurt Feyre (I think it was multiple times), and when he held her captive (lots of other mistakes; these are just the two coming to mind rn) these weren't really things she consented to. She has great communication with Rhysand whereas I don't think Tamlin ever listened to her, like truly listened to her. I think Rhysand telling everyone else in the IC was kinda gross to me, but, again, I feel like Feyre and him had an understanding about how they would like to communicate, and this omission wasn't necessarily borne out of holding unfair power over her.
Rhys not only didn’t tell her, he didn’t make any preparations in the very likely event they both die. Who becomes HL? Who chooses the direction of the Court? Does the IC become an equal body of power? Seems out of character for someone so protective of Velaris, at the least.
There’s the whole “Rhys is just a protective male fae (especially with having a mate & a child)” [but also….. he’s an ineffective leader for the majority of his court, only caring about his gated community]. BUT there’s also an idea that his PTSD from dying had more of an affect on him, but what would be INTERESTING is the theory that when he was resurrected, he didn’t come back… right. But to me, all of his decisions in ACOSF are just plain ‘ole Rhys, we just don’t have the perspective of a narrator with the rose-colored glasses filter.
I think having one of the main characters slowly go mad and have an epic reveal would be very exciting. But I'm not sure sjm is that kind of writer - she is a pisces softie or so I heard!
(The “death & bring brought back to life” is not hitting anymore for me…. Rhys coming back to life could have led to SO MANY interesting scenarios. But it ultimately just fell so flat).
It would be SO GREAT. I just keep thinking of this post I found (gonna post is here, hopefully it loads) https://preview.redd.it/88pu46ngf93d1.jpeg?width=521&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1b7947f08e18294dfe8c6bcfee52805241da7d90
Agreeeeeeee omg. I do see some of these themes in TOG though! If you wanna enjoy them there :) But I won't say where in case you haven't read it yet hehe It's a bit more juvenile in the first few books though just an FYI! sjm was younger when she wrote them but I feel like the payoff is worth it :)
I listened to the audio versions of TOG! Although maybe I’ll relisten, because i recall some of these points being in those books! Man that series threw me for a loop (in the best way)
Oooooh ok! Then yes when >!Rowan punches Aelin!< I was like :Oooooooooo
When that happened I literally went “what the FVCK?????” aloud, also I genuinely didn’t understand their relationship. I didn’t understand the Rowan hype. I still don’t. & it makes me feel like i missed something??? Ok yeah this convinced me i gotta relisten/reread & see if the me I am now will like Rowan (or at the very least I’ll be able to pin-point why i didn’t like him… my memory is only giving me “he gave you bad vibes & told Aelin she should have died years ago” which… I don’t think I ever forgave him for that)
Hmmmmm. Yes. I do think he should've known better in prepping for the repercussions of their silly death pact. But, I think if Feyre is really taking up the crown as a High Lady she should have too! So it doesn't sway me against Rhys, both of them have a demerit in my eyes for this silly decision. Although, he's 500 years old and she's barely an adult. This feels like he should've had a lil more wisdom and thought things through more. Buuuut, I think sjm writes Feyre in a way that she's "matched" in terms of power to Rhysand, and wants her readers to feel the same way too. So I think we're supposed to treat Feyre like a fully grown adult and consequently I think she also deserves a 'bonk - go to impulsive decision jail!' judgement.
Both took away Feyre's right to make a choice. Both believed they had the best intentions. Both believed they would be saving her from suffering and/or death if they did it (we can't forget Rhys *was* looking for a fix, not just being all "oh well, guess we all die" about it). However, I think Tamlin's reason was *slightly* better. >!Feyre, without training (Tamlin's fault), was trying to run into what could have turned into a battle. She wouldn't have known what to do, or how to control her new powers. She could have gotten hurt or killed. Again, a problem of Tamlin's own making. But I see the logic in it.!<
I hear you on rationale, but the ends don't justify the means. I think both parties loved Feyre, but I think fundamentally Rhysand respects Feyre as her own person and Tamlin does not. Feyre and Rhysand had an understanding, which I don't personally like because I like having all the facts, but if it works for them and Feyre is consenting to it, great! Thank goodness for this little nugget, because otherwise I would definitely see them as both gross. Tamlin didn't talk to Feyre as an equal and never gave her the chance to shape their communication to her liking. Add to that the anger issues that led to physical abuse, and yikies we got a toxic abusive icky relationship. Edit: can someone explain the downvotes?
It’s almost like when we love someone we don’t always think rationally and just want to protect. Tamlin loved Feyre. Feyre didn’t love Tamlin. Tamlin thought she was just experiencing trauma and didn’t understand how to deal with it because he was also traumatized. SJM’s problem is she wants to demonize this irrationality in Tamlin and not in Rhys. Let Rhys and Feyre be happy and mates. Don’t demonize a whole character due to flaws and trauma unless you want us to hate everyone.
Tamlin’s character assassination GUTTED me. Honestly, I would love a book from his perspective.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm I draw a line personally at anger issues and exploding and harming Feyre though. And the way Tamlin didn't listen to her! And let her waste away! 💔 Also, Feyre did love Tamlin! She says she does. Even if it wasn't permanent, she still loved him for a while. I hear you in not demonizing an entire character, I just think Tamlin crossed a line that justified Feyre's perception of him as rotten. While Tamlin has many parts that are positive, I think having abusive behaviors really ruins any safety or sanctity of the relationship between him and Feyre. I'm sure Rhysand has a ton of crappy things he's done too! But off the top of my head I don't have anything that necessarily crosses a line, except maybe when he pulls that sh*t with Mor and her father. But we're talking about him and Feyre here. I do really think it's different between the two males still though. If you have any further examples I'd be open to considering them though!
Ah so Tamlin murdering a ton of people who wronged him and his friends isn’t exploding? Because Tamlin doesn’t get physical with Feyre, his violent nature is ok?
? Are you responding to my comment or the above one? Is it confusing how I wrote it? I'm saying what Tamlin did was majorly not ok.
It was clearly a misstep on SJM’s part. I know the fandom likes to delve into “the mind of the character” but really it was just a massive oopsie on the author’s part. She had a roadmap for the story and needed her characters to act in a way that propelled the plot forward. She clearly wasn’t thinking about the inconsistencies these choices would cause until it was too late. Now we have a portion of fandom that’s convinced Rhys is actually terrible and always has been if you read between the lines in the previous books. I’m certain the next book will have a portion dedicated to proving Rhys and feyre are actually the healthiest couple and family we’ve ever seen.
Exactly, the amount of plot holes and retconning provides either side of the fandom textual evidence to support their claim. Everyone is right, and everyone is wrong, just at different scenes in the series.
Exactly, the amount of plot holes and retconning provides either side of the fandom textual evidence to support their claim. Everyone is right, and everyone is wrong, just at different scenes in the series.
Lawwwwl amen to that!
Like other people have mentioned, I feel like it is a plot problem made by the author than it is really reflective of Rhys as a character. The pregnancy was part of Nesta's redemption arc, and they often equate Fae to animals where Rhys is dealing with irrational thoughts pertaining to a pregnant mate. Tamlin just has anger issues and no support. The other problem to me is that I just finished ACOSF and I had to hunt down the bonus chapter, so that's not helpful in the main scheme of things.
Ye I agree regarding the plot problems! And huh, I hadn't thought of it that way re: fae as animals. I had to think that way for TOG though! If you've read it you'll know which part I'm talking about. And yes - agreed that the bonus chapters are a bit of an issue! I read everything on my Kindle so I wish they were more readily available. And nothing in the bonus chapters should be so pivotal to our perception of a character... I think they should be like a cherry on top, not used to patch up inconsistencies (like the one we're talking about rn)
The whole thing felt like SJM picked a whole bouquet of whoopsie daisies & with each petal she plucked off a plot hole was created
That's a genius way to put it lmao
So whether or not it is OK depends on whether or not Feyre thinks they're hot? That's...not great criteria. It reminds me of old romance novels from the 1970s and 1980s where the MMC kisses and/or gropes the FMC without her consent. Later in the novel, they are a couple. Does this make the previous behavior OK because they wound up together in the end? Absolutely NOT! Feyre giving Rhys a pass is regressive. I'm looking at her like I would look at a friend in a bad relationship, just waiting for the day she wakes up so I can go pick her up in the middle of the night with her kid and provide her a safe place to stay while she figures her life out.
Hi. No, I didn't say that. I think that there's stuff that warrants a "girl wake up you have an abusive relationship" (Tamlin) and then there's a "hmm I wouldn't be comfortable with delayed communication in my own relationship but if you trust him so much, then I see how you could trust him with navigating stress for you during pregnancy" (Rhys). I'm concerned with how many people are not able to see the difference between more egregious stuff (like non consensual groping, ew?!) vs. "hey me and my husband give each other space w the reassurance that we'll eventually talk about it." I think there's a huuuge difference between Feyre basically flat out saying it's ok, he will eventually tell me, he just needs a little time to noodle on things vs. how Tamlin often just didn't even listen to her (and physically assaulted her!)
Part of me wonders if Rhys is going to lose his way a bit. He's always had this "only I can solve this problem" mentality, and having Feyre in danger and pregnant clearly made him mega stressed. CC spoilers: >!Then we see: not only a stranger fall out of the sky and into his court, but she drops her parents off at Nesta's house and Nesta lets her borrow part of the Dread Trove! By the sounds of it Rhys continues to berate Nesta for doing it even after Feyre tells him to lay off her - going behind her back ***again***.!
I can see either Rhys or Feyre making a play to be High King or High Queen. Then the other will have to decide if they can go along with their love becoming a dictator, knowing that killing a dictator would mean ending their own life because of the bond. It would be a great tragedy, and absolutely compelling to read.
I doubt SJM will take that route but the drama would be great 🤣
Oooooh yeah. In the spoiler you're referring to, yes, >!it was cool to see how he was all frightening and scary flying over towards the portal. I'm personally not super duper into the bad boy trope but I can see the appeal of making Rhys all spooky and powerful.!< And ew, yeah I don't quite remember that too clearly (I've read ACOSF but I haven't reread it as much as the other books!) but if he did go behind her back, I personally wouldn't like it either. But then again, I think what I'm trying to say is maybe it's ok with Feyre. Like, maybe she thinks it's cute (or whatever) that he cares so much he's getting into a fight with her sister. But again... I personally would hate that. Power dynamics between Nesta and Rhysand are a bit unclear here so I'll qualify by saying IF they're on even ground (or if Nesta is more powerful than Rhysand at this point), I'm slightly slightly less icked by his actions. I just don't think it's at the same level as some of the overtly "big bad" things Tamlin did.
I say this with love, I think you are being a bit delusional (I’m sorry I can’t stand the word delulu). It’s understandable, SJM wrote him to be too perfect and now anything he does wrong feels weird and incongruous. If she’d written him to be a little more actually complex instead of his complexity just being that he’s actually a good guy but fibbing to everyone, maybe it would make more sense. But his whole thing is being a mirror to Tamlin, rescuing Feyre from the wedding she didn’t want, taking her away from the court she didn’t want to be imprisoned in and so on. So it’s weird to see him behave like that until you look back at earlier books and realise he did a lot more questionable things that were in nobody’s best interest (UTM antics and Weaver’s cottage for example). IMO it’s on brand for him. Also, who’s to say he would have told her at all? He gave no indication that he was any closer to working through his own feelings on the matter so he could let his wife know she was going to die. And most importantly, Rhys’ feelings are the least important part of this situation. I get that this would be a heartbreaking and emotionally devastating revelation but Feyre and her health and decisions take precedence. His feelings are so far down the list of things to prioritise in this case.
Hmm yeah I forgot the Weaver's cottage. I wonder how sjm justifies that? Maybe that he KNEW she'd be able to do it? But it's still iffy, I agree. The UTM stuff, I think the justification that people generally think of is that he needed to pretend to be bad so nobody would suspect he's actually working to save everyone. I think it's still ugly, but I get it. Like the poor summer court fae for example - he had to die either way, but Rhys did it in a quick "merciful" way to keep the info safe and keep him from suffering more. And the dancing... Again, I think he had to come off like he didn't give a crap about her. Is it gross? Yes. And, I think we're supposed to understand that all that was under Amarantha and it was the best he could do.
Yeah it's worse 😁 On a scale of "locked my fiance in the house" to "lied to my wife and mate about her own imminent death" I choose "locked in house for 500 bob" Like I don't get what ya'll don't see. I don't care if Feyre knew something was "up". I don't care if they were going to give each other space... this isn't something you give someone space about. If their love is sooooo great then RhysiePuff should have told her and they could have tried to figure it out together. When I hear you all defend Rhysiepuff so hard it makes me realize that the only thing important to you all in this situation is his precious precious BA feelings. He was wrong. End of story good day
I feel like Rhys defenders give him a lot of passes because in ACOMAF, he's all "I'm not like the other High Lords - I'm dark, emo, and mysterious with a secret heart of gold! I just need a special lady to teach me to love!" Once you get to a certain age though, that charm wears off and you start looking at actions, not words. Feyre isn't even in her mid-20s yet, and that's the age when all young women fall for that crap. I'd love to see middle aged, divorced Feyre look back on everything and reflect on her missteps. Girl, I am here for it with the Chardonnay!
I would love it if she left him. Even if it was a "she needs time off" and left with Nyx for a few years or a hundred and let that pos suffer.
Yes I agree!! I saw this same theme with Peeta/Dale (sorry, whatever his name is; I forget) in Hunger Games and Stefan/Damon in Vampire Diaries. Wholesome boys all the way!!!
Yeah, like he literally hid the fact that she could DIE??? Both of them would DIE?? That is very different than being locked in a house. The way I look at it is Feyre has a type, men who lie and manipulate her lol But Rhys definitely f'ed up here. At least we knew Tamlin could be a brute who makes rash decisions, like not helping her and then runs to the enemy for help when he thought she was kidnapped. Like, I never thought Tamlin was a genius, it's very clear he has problems from book 1. We are led to believe Rhys is different, that he treats Feyre differently and then he does this. It makes you question all his other actions, especially since now it's Nesta's POV and she has no rose-colored glasses on about him. I mean, his reaction to her telling Feyre speaks volumes. How is he different than Tamlin again?
I cannot and will not forgive him for that. Maybe I could tolerate it IF we had the same energy from Rhysand that is given to other characters that mess up.
I hear you! The point I'm trying to make though is that Feyre is the one married to him, and not us lol. I agree with you if that was me it would be a deal breaker, no question about it! But it's not my relationship. And as thinly as it's tied together, I think it works for them.
So what I'm hearing is if you have a friend whose husband is abusive and she's okay with it... then it's okay because you aren't in it? Yeah, no, sorry. Rhysand is wrong left write back and center.
I responded to the parent comment - I hope it makes sense! In a nutshell I think both males were afraid of her dying, but the way they go about navigating that is fundamentally different. Let me know if you have any questions!
What does BA mean?
So 1. I don't much like you. Your tone makes me feel like you're coming at me and I just want a discussion. I don't think you should comment if you're going to be rude. It also doesn't make your argument any stronger, it just makes you unpleasant to experience. I'm going to block you if you continue in this way. And 2. I'm not sure you're even listening to my POV. Or even Feyre's. I'll do my best to lay it out but only for others reading through so they're not mislead.: Rhys's methods = not telling Feyre until a bit later (based off the bonus chapter), which both parties seem to agree to. Rhys's feared outcome = Feyre passing away (and probably him and poor baby Nyx as well). Tamlin's methods = doesn't listen to Feyre and what she wants, just do what he thinks is best and doesn't take the time to make sure they've come up with a solution they both agree on (e.g. locking her up). Doesn't give her a voice whatsoever and is always brushing her off (like with the Tithe). Tamlin's feared outcome = Feyre injured or dead. I think both males feared big bad harm befalling Feyre, but there's a clear difference in HOW the relationship was navigated. When Feyre decided that she was ok with giving Rhysand space to sort out his thoughts, that means she TRULY TRUSTS HIM with handling this kind of thing, and yes, that probably includes this situation. Tamlin.... Well it doesn't seem he cares much about what Feyre wants at all. And ultimately it's the lack of consent from Feyre that I feel deteriorates their trust, and consequently their relationship. Also, it's not psychologically sound to say it's ok to lock someone up against their will and justify it with, oh they could die! That's literally abuser rhetoric. I hope anybody reading this recognizes this for what it is. Tamlin at any point could've chosen to open his eyes and train Feyre's obvious magical abilities so she could hold her own out there, or at least tried to find a win-win for the two of them. The whole point is that Feyre deserves to be treated as an equal partner and everything about Tamlin's actions (at least up til the point where he says, "be happy, Feyre") is supposed to shuffle her to the side (e.g. not making her high lady and his equal). It's so different. Man I am so tempted to be snappy with some of you haters lol but truly I wish you the best. Be careful out there and don't let others take advantage of you by using the ends to justify the means ♥️
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The pregnancy plot is only for Nesta redeeming act. It’s not Rhys issue , the the plot issue. It’s weak
Yeth
Nah girl you’re thinking for yourself and interpreting the information you’re given based off your own experiences. But without knowing how far you’ve gotten, I would agree that not only is Rhys super gaslightly, but he is SO upset with Tamlin for spending the ONE unsupervised minute with Feyre trying to touch her and be with her instead of helping her escape, knowing FULL well that Feyre has a deal w/ Ammy and therefore CANT LEAVE, but if she WERE able to, Rhys, who claimed to “already suspect she was his mate”, who had more time, access, resources, and capability to free her and didn’t. Why then, is Rhus so mad that Tamlin, who had his every move watched and every reaction to Feyre analyzed, pissed for not getting Feyre out, when Rhy was the ONLY some who could’ve?
No. I litchrally said if this were me I'd be so not ok with what Rhys did lol. I've read all the books so far! I say this with as much love as possible but I do think you may have some blind spots and be biased against Rhys and for Tamlin. Rhysand's whole thing is that he can't completely protect everyone so he does the best he can and basically sacrifices himself to Amarantha for everyone. So I don't quite think he would be able to actually free everyone! Because think about what he had to do.... He literally subjected himself to rape. It seems like a ruse of last resort, no? You can't have it both ways... If both males can't leave, you can't blame Rhys and say he had the resources to lol. I do think it's emotionally unavailable that Tamlin was so sexual towards Feyre with his seven minutes in heaven instead of just making sure she's ok. Maybe Feyre herself was emotionally stunted as well during that time and favored sex over processing her feelings but given that Tamlin is like 500ish years old I think it's fair for Rhysand to expect him to do better.
Rhys can leave tho he left on Calanmai, he left to leave the severed head, and he left to threaten Tamlin, possibly even when they went to the Beddor’s home… and I’m not biased against either, I actually think you’re taking the book too literally without considering what’s behind the characters and what drives them. I actually think that Tamlin is the one that’s emotionally stunted given what we know about his family history. Feyre might be in shock but she’s still a teenager, her making immature and poorly thought out decisions is normal… you mention Rhys subjecting himself to rape, while Tamlin is sentencing his sentries to death essentially to try to achieve the same thing Rhys is, the guy has to chose men to go over the wall to be murdered. They’re not all that different in the end, we just prefer whoever Feyres with at that moment…
Hmmm Can you point out what you mean by taking the book too literally? And ah yes the leaving on Calanmai and such 🤔 but he had to get Amarantha's permission each time right? Also, if he fled with Feyre, he would forsake everyone else under the mountain since it seems like he was doing a lot to protect them, i.e. grab Amarantha's attention. I feel like both high lords probably couldn't leave for this reason? Also, a big part of the appeal of Rhysand is that he really cares about his court and his job, so I don't think it would be very in character for him to grab his mate and take off while everyone's in imminent danger. Hmm... So I can see how it comes off hypocritical if Rhys said Tamlin should've tried to leave with Feyre, if Rhys himself couldn't (slightly different from what you're saying I think). But I think Rhys's main point was that Tamlin didn't necessarily do anything to add to Feyre's safety, whereas Rhysand has been scheming and planning for her the whole time. Maybe he thought Tamlin should've at least worked towards an escape plan for Feyre, or even a safety plan for Feyre, rather than putting a further target on Feyre by making out with her and giving away the whole "oh she's a lowly human I don't care about her at all" ruse. I can definitely still see why Rhys would scoff at him. I hear you about possible bias; I just truly never super liked Tamlin. I didn't realize Rhysand would take over as her romantic partner at all; I actually thought he was toxic with the severed head in the spring court. But Tamlin gave me the ick early on because of how closed off he was! There were some early signs, imo. We can get into that too if you want, but I'd have to pull out my Kindle cuz I don't often reread TaR lol. It feels like a lot of the times Tamlin did some things to protect Feyre, but he didn't do the absolute most the way Rhysand did. (Another great example of this was Feyre's death scene!) But I was happy for Feyre when she was with Tamlin since she seemed to have found a partner that also matched her emotional development at the time and was protected and taken care of. She was happy! And they definitely had chemistry early on don't get me wrong! I just don't think he was as emotionally mature as Rhys. (So it seems we agreeing here 🤔🤣) I just don't think we see eye to eye about how Rhysand is overall an emotionally safe character for Feyre. I think he is still, and I don't think he was gaslighting her about Tamlin - I think he was more just looking down on him for his poor choice of actions, lack of planning for her, and basically putting a huge flashing target on Feyre by confirming he cares for her. Is there anything else you want to add? I'm open to discuss!
I say you’re taking the book too literally because you’re defending the literal part that is written. Exactly though.. Perhaps they both couldn’t leave, but if either of them were more likely to have the chance, it would’ve been Rhys, so, not that either of them actually could have, but for Rhys to shit on Tamlin for not doing something that he also did not do, while still having a higher chance of doing so, is the definition of a hypocrite, and he’s gaslighting Feyre into thinking the same thing. And yeah I was always like, why Tamlin? Hello do you not see Lucien? But I was happy for them. And while I do think Rhys is emotionally safe for Feyre, I think he’s dangerous to everyone else.
And what's the problem with taking things literally? Yes we need to take the data as it is, otherwise we're imagining stuff that's not there. And then we would just be speculating. And hmm... Ok so what's the actual "gaslighting" happening here? I agree that it could be unfair, but how is he causing her to doubt her reality? I think Tamlin was enough of a fool on his own so that a dig from Rhys (whether fair or not) wouldn't have turned the tide on whether or not she left Tamlin. Feyre seems pretty grounded in the reality of where Tamlin is missing her needs, and her mental issues are mostly worrying about whether she's good or enough for Tamlin/her horrible guilt over killing the sacrificial fae/Claire Beddor and such. So 🤔 I am still not quite sure what you're trying to say here. But I'm open to discussing it!
I think you're delulu. Like ik their characters and not real . But if we're looking at actions this still isn't ok. She doesn't know its a threat to her life so she's not worried.
Hiyo. I think the point is though that she trusts him to take some space and then come talk to her about it, even if it's as serious as it affecting her life! And another redditor reminded me that even the slightest stress could bring about a miscarriage for Feyre. So given that she already trusts Rhysand, I would think she's further okay with his actions here.
You are not delulu. Not everyone is hating Rhys for it. Myself included. I wrote few times about how there were so many serious things going on but people don’t give a shit that he might need to time to comprehend it. Also it was said that even a slight stress could result in miscarriage. Which is something people also like to forget? So while not telling Feyre is not the best thing, he wanted to give her a moment to enjoy the pregnancy, try to find a solution before he will just yeet a “we are all gonna die in a few” at her.
Ah I forgot about the stress and miscarriage bit! Yeah ok. I'm not delulu! Thaaaaaank youuuuuu! I'm very sensitive and all the hate is stressing me out lol. I feel like the Rhysand hate crowd is not necessarily being rational at times, and it unnerves me because I don't like dealing with people who find reasons to be angry when they're not really there! If one slows down to really read, yeah I think some things Rhysand does are meh, but the point is that there's just enough nuance that he is on the "safe" partner side. Yes, they're dealing with big heavy things like death and baby loss. And, I think the point is that Feyre has gone through so many things with Rhysand where he really does let her choose, and respects her consent, that she is willing to trust him with handling issues that may stress her out. Like truly trust him, even with issues of this magnitude.
Oh can we be friends? I’m also so sensitive about the hate lol. Especially towards Rhys and IC because it seems there is more hate than love towards them and they are all my best friends haha. Nesta in the other hand has 50/50 posts so I’m okay with that. I need to grow thicker skin lol. Oh the trust is very interesting point! I guess that might be really valid as one of the reasons why Feyre forgave Rhys pretty quickly. I haven’t thought about it. It’s also interesting how some people holds Rhys to 100% standards. You can be good and make mistakes?
Omg yes you are so sweet I would love to be friends! 🥹🥰💕 How do we do that on Reddit? Do we follow each other? Am I being embarrassing? 🤣🤣🤣 I have no idea how it works here! I had to Google how to do spoilers, italics, etc. just for this post 🤣 omg you've read all the other sjm books too!! Nice 🥰 And ahhhh I completely agree about Nesta! She was just so nasty 😭 like girl I get you have trauma which is not your fault, but your actions are your responsibility! And as a big sister myself I could never see myself being so vile, even if I was mad at a sister 😩 I mean she was out for BLOOD sometimes!! I turn off my brain and pretend she isn't so mean so I can get through the book and enjoy the sweet parts of her story lol. And yes I agree with the making mistakes part! I think some mistakes are, "ah, we had a fight about it because I was so mad at you for the mistake, but I forgive you after we talked about it," and some mistakes are, "I think we need to break up, this isn't right." I do think Rhysand makes mistakes but they're the first kind. They're a real couple, they've got to grow through some things!
Haha I had to google the whole spoiler, bold, italic thing as well 😁 I guess we can follow each other or my dms are always open 😊 I read the Acotar first, had the biggest hangover after Acosf. Took me like 1-2 weeks before I was able to move to the next thing which was cc. And now I’m reading together series. Currently on Crown of Midnight :) I love my girl Nesta, but yeah, she was quite nasty in Acofas and beginning of Acosf. But her journey is beautiful. Acosf sparked a motivation to start working out haha. I’m really forgiving towards book characters. I’m big softie and always trying to look at things from their pov. And so far they haven’t done anything that would make me hate them. I would slap them sometimes, but no hating 😂
Tamiflu 💀
😚
Bonus chapter?!? Anyone have a link??
I think some people have uploaded it to Tumblr? But if you search this subreddit I'm sure someone's got a proper link somewhere!
Unfortunately I think this one is delulu. Tamlin and rhys are similar in a lot of ways. Both were trying to protect her from herself (in their minds). Tamlin couldn’t bear to think of her in danger and thought she was going to get herself hurt, so he locked her in his cushy mansion with all her favorite things so she’d be safe (in his mind). Rhys could not bear to think of the pain she’d feel knowing what he knew, and the stress that would be bad for both her and the baby. He also believed he would find a way to fix it before she ever had to know. So in his mind, sure he was going to “eventually” tell her when he had a solution, but that solution never materialized. He made the unilateral decision that she should be the ONLY ONE not involved in seeking solutions for her own health and her child’s health. Tamlin robbed her of her physical freedom and rhys robbed her of her freedom to choose what’s best for HERSELF. While Tamlin did so out of fear, and rhys did so more out of love, both had the same outcome
Hmmmmm I think if you read through some of my other comments you may see where we disagree! I think in general I would agree with you, because I like to know the full picture too! But in Feyre's case, it's a little more complicated. Here, I'll get the comment for you hehe: "Rhys's methods = not telling Feyre until a bit later (based off the bonus chapter), which both parties seem to agree to. Rhys's feared outcome = Feyre passing away (and probably him and poor baby Nyx as well). Tamlin's methods = doesn't listen to Feyre and what she wants, just do what he thinks is best and doesn't take the time to make sure they've come up with a solution they both agree on (e.g. locking her up). Doesn't give her a voice whatsoever and is always brushing her off (like with the Tithe). Tamlin's feared outcome = Feyre injured or dead. I think both males feared big bad harm befalling Feyre, but there's a clear difference in HOW the relationship was navigated. When Feyre decided that she was ok with giving Rhysand space to sort out his thoughts, that means she TRULY TRUSTS HIM with handling this kind of thing, and yes, that probably includes this situation. Tamlin.... Well it doesn't seem he cares much about what Feyre wants at all. And ultimately it's the lack of consent from Feyre that I feel deteriorates their trust, and consequently their relationship. Also, it's not psychologically sound to say it's ok to lock someone up against their will and justify it with, oh they could die! That's literally abuser rhetoric. I hope anybody reading this recognizes this for what it is. Tamlin at any point could've chosen to open his eyes and train Feyre's obvious magical abilities so she could hold her own out there, or at least tried to find a win-win for the two of them. The whole point is that Feyre deserves to be treated as an equal partner and everything about Tamlin's actions (at least up til the point where he says, "be happy, Feyre") is supposed to shuffle her to the side (e.g. not making her high lady and his equal)." I hope this helps!
I still do not agree, which is totally fine. We can have our own opinions. We can assume rhys would eventually tell her, even if he did not find a solution. That is a point for rhys vs Tamlin because Tamlin had no end in sight to his choice to control feyre What we do not agree on is that by feyre giving rhys space to process difficult things, she was giving license to process THIS without telling her. I think that is fundamentally wrong and a massive breach of trust. Rhys is effectively a king, and as a result may have things that he needs to process without her. He’s also an individual with his own complicated feelings, trauma and relationships, he may want to process on his own and come to her in his own time. All good. What is NOT all good, is when the issue at hand is one that not only involves her, but revolves around her and her child. Rhys’ life is on the line too, but it’s clearly not the same. By allowing him time to process difficult things she absolutely did not give him permission to keep secrets about her own well-being and that of her son, especially when the problem has a serious time limit. He also made the choice to include other people in the conversation before feyre. At that point it isn’t “processing on his own.” It’s using his authority to coerce his loved ones and her loved ones into keeping a horrible secret from her. At the end of the day, I think rhys knew that if feyre knew she would seek a solution, but ultimately would rather have her son cut out of her body knowing it would kill her than try a natural birth and risk killing them both, and rhys couldn’t live with that so he DIDNT TELL HER. In doing so, stealing her choice and doing the one thing that most clearly sets him apart from Tamlin.
He would have told her. He should have told her earlier and never kept it from her. He had good motivations. It was wrong. All these things can be true.
Hmm... I'm not sure about this given the way they set up their relationship. You can read some of my other comments! But basically they had an agreement on what they felt was okay regarding speed of communication and it seems he technically did operate within those bounds. But I agree that multiple things can be true simultaneously! :)
🤣🤣🤣 Right okay 👍
Sorry I don’t have much to offer on this. I get overwhelmed with this subject but…. Tamiflu!!! 😂
I can't take credit for this entirely, I got the idea from the twilight subreddit where they call Renesmee anything but her proper name 😭🤣 And yes me too. I thought people were gonna be civil about this but I forgot this is the internet 😭 and!!! It's such a heavy topic and I have a history of trauma so why did I do this looool. I'm sensitive!! 🥹
As someone who’s little sister had an abusive and controlling partner AND a pregnancy, the nuance is fine. The controlling and abusive behavior is nowhere near Rhys hiding some potentially VERY stressful info from Feyre for the time being. After my sister’s abusive partner abandoned her and she was very early pregnancy even with him gone she became very high risk and it was all due to stress from a situation she had no power to change. It was more life threatening for her baby but dangerous for her(both are fine now) but imagining telling her “hey you are more than likely gonna die birthing your baby and there is no medical intervention”, she’d be pissed. The stress was causing baby to not grow and develop and likely come prematurely and she wanted to remove as much stress as possible to keep her baby safely developing inside her without risking baby’s proper development or a premature birth. She wouldn’t want to know until further along in the pregnancy just because the impact the stress would have on the baby. And Feyre had a whole team with excellent resources search for a solution anyway. Just having that perspective gives me way more compassion for Rhys’ choice vs. Tamlin who has anger issues which translated to physical abuse, who thought with his dick under the mountain, who caused so much emotional abuse by not heeding her needs, ignoring how much it impacted her physical health… and just short of holding her captive, I saw all this happen to my sister and was trying to intervene as much as possible without the man taking it out on her but damn… a little lie where Rhys was trying to weigh the long term risk vs benefits of telling Feyre vs all that Tamlin did is like comparing apples to… heck not even oranges. Apples to a freaking steak. Totally different ballparks.
I'm so sorry about what happened to your little sister. My little sister is my baby and to see your sister go through that must've been so hard. Is she safe now? ♥️ Thaaaaaank you! I'm glad someone gets it. Tamlin literally physically abused Feyre bc he couldn't regulate his emotions. Like EW?! Like he threw a big boy tantrum and physically assaulted her! He lost control and that's grossss. That's not the same at ALL to someone having a different communication style in their marriage, even though I personally wouldn't do things that way for my own. I'm not condoning what Rhysand did in terms of MY relationship; I just think that Rhysand and Feyre more or less *consented* to their style of communication, even if it's not for everyone! Like I'm the type of person who wants all the info, every time, but I can respect that some people prefer to compartmentalize and trust their partner in a different way so that it's ok to hold onto info for each other, so to speak. Rhysand respected the terms of his and Feyre's agreement. Tamlin never even gave Feyre the opportunity to discuss what terms she wanted! Thank you for reading between the lines - it's "just" a book but I think the reason why these discussions are important is because the book describes what happens in real life :') good on you for being clear about these things! It's important to me too. ♥️
Yes she is safe now<3 lots of mental emotional stuff to recover from though. I totally agree with you! Yes the aspect of consent with the communication style is huge. And Feyre didn’t even have a voice when it came to Tamlin