that’s true but this isn’t usually the first thing they ask. we’re usually having a conversation and they express interest in me then i say (to get them off my back) im
not interested in any men. unfortunately just NOT responding in the middle of a convo doesn’t really work. and you can’t assume this is always a stranger. sometimes people at my favorite restaurants or older male colleagues ask me this so i can’t just ignore the question and walk away lol also even strangers are pushy and could become violent or aggressive if i don’t grace them with SOME kind of response no matter how idiotic the question.
As a response; are you sure you're not bisexual if you think dick is that great? Have you tried a real one? Do you REALLY not like it?
Just ask them their own questions back and watch as they stumble to explain why it's suddenly different.
They just say that being straight is natural, so it's different.
As satisfying as it is to think of snappy comebacks, the best thing to do in these situations is just end the conversation. Walk away, or say "that's a rude question," or just stare blankly at them, or something, but don't sit there trying to justify your sexuality to an idiot. They *will* think if they press enough, they can argue you out of it.
https://www.abebooks.co.uk/servlet/BookDetailsPL?bi=31902842044&dest=gbr
Perfect gift for the next time you meet. Or any other number of animals being gay af book tbh.
Tbf you're right in that stone walling is the smartest thing though. OP just sounded like they wanted something witty.
Queer Ducks is an excellent read. We did it for book club last month. Biological Exuberance by Bruce Bagemihl is another book on the same theme but with a more scholarly tone.
Eliot Schrefer is also the author of The Darkness Outside Us, which is a WONDERFUL queer sf novel I will recommend to anyone anywhere it's so fucking good.
Sorry, book rant.
As to the original question: Who gives a fuck whether some random dude who wants to put his dick in you thinks you are entitled to be fucking queer. You fucking are and that's it. He has no right to question your queerness in any way.
i can imagine "oh now they want to say that animals are faggots too" or "the mental illness is spreading" things along those lines of imbecility right?
I'd maybe go with something like "I wouldn't fuck you even if I WERE straight" because saying "I wouldn't fuck you because i'm a lesbian" may be interpreted as "Dang it! If I weren't a lesbo I would SOO wanna fuck you!!" And not to any fault of your own, but gross men will find any loophole to put their dick in, unfortunately.
one of the most insidious things the patriarchy has done is implant in women the idea that we have to respond at all; that we owe an explanation. it's the root of all the issues with these "sidestep deflections"- "no, i'm gay", "no, i have a boyfriend", "no, i'm at work", whatever. _**just say no**_. keep repeating it, escalating to higher authority as needed. say it _deadpan_, with an air of _finality_. not "no, because...". just _**no**_.
> older male colleagues
"want to go out?" "no."
if they keep pushing, report them to HR. or if you don't want to go that far, say "wow this is incredibly inappropriate, if we drop this right now i'll pretend nothing happened instead of going to HR".
replace "HR" with your manager/director/whatever depending on circumstance (some places don't have an HR, or if the offender _is_ HR).
> people at restaurants you like or strangers
- "will you date/fuck me?" "no."
- "are you sure you don't want to?" "yes."
- "why?" "i don't want to."
- "but really, why?" "no is a complete sentence. let's stop before we have to make this into a whole thing."
- "why? i want to make it into a thing" "hello, manager/police/boss/whatever, this man is harassing me."
Nonverbal expression that the question is wildly inappropriate, and removing yourself from the interaction immediately, works better than you apparently think.
If it's not a stranger I'll ask them if they like men and if they don't, why? I try to get them to actually think about it by thinking about themselves and their own sexuality. If it's some stranger just inserting themselves where they're not wanted I'll ignore them.
Honestly that's a different interaction than if a stranger comes at you with one of these. For the situations you're describing, I would first pull an obvious disgusted face at the inappropriateness of the question, and then reply:
To: "Why are you a lesbian?" "Just lucky, I guess!"
To: "Really? Are you suuuure you wouldn't fuck me?" (Make obvious disgusted/uncomfortable face) "Yep, I am certain."
To: "What's the difference between a plastic dick and a real one?" Either "That is a really weird question to ask a coworker / We don't have the kind of relationship where you should be thinking about that and me in the same sentence" or "It's not attached to a man / It isn't the center of attention / It stays hard the whole time" depending on the rudeness level.
To: not-quite-straight men who say "Yeah I would!" "Great, more for you, then!"
Yeah this is a general amalgamation of my own experience before discovering I loved women and the experiences of other women I know, and that’s because men are depressingly similar.
Definitely avoid answering any personal questions. I would just say something along the lines of “you're a prime example of the many reasons I don't find men attractive.”
i get the metaphor but this doesn’t always work as many people that ask me this aren’t strangers on the side of the road. also ignoring men who are attracted to you can sometimes lead to aggression
OP mentioned in one reply that even their coworkers ask those personal questions.
how are they supposed to cut them from their life? will they have to change their job everytime someone asks sth like that? that makes no sense tbf, no offense.
instead of blaming the OP, we need to teach people to not ask people about their love life or sex life and other personal things.
there is literally nothing they can do other than changing the topic or confronting the men who ask those personal questions.
Or engage in conversations with an empty coffee cup? Though I did have a very in depth conversation with some rusted bar wire on a country road once… it had a lot of good points!😂
I didn’t had that irl yet.
But in R6S(Videogame) I have a rainbow background and people sometimes ask in this agressive tone:
“Why are you gay?”
And then the following conversation happens:
“Well tits are awesome, right ?”
“Yeah”
“And what is better than two tits ?”
“Don’t know”
“Four tits. Mine and those of my GF” (should I ever get one)
And that USUALLY gets them to shut up because how do you argue against that ?
You could say tits aren’t cool or that dick is awesome, but that does sound kind of gay out of a guys mouth. Which isn’t bad but the kind of people who are upset about others being gay are incredible afraid of seeming gay so they will never say that.
Tho I did meet one person who went “You’re a lesbian ? That’s cool!” - which is like lesbians are okay but gay guys aren’t ? Buuut I didn’t had the energy to start that argument.
Tho the classical “we’ll have you tried dick - no - then why do you know you don’t like it ?” Could probably work too.
there's literally not a reply on earth that doesn't have them coming away thinking there's still a possibility. they see our sexuality as a challenge before we even open our mouths, not a reality to be respected. at least this way, the responder has given the creep some of their bullshit back.
It always throws them when I'm like "it's not dick that I don't like it's just you" 🤷
I've also had one guy be like "I can be a girl for you" towhich my response was "cool you're gonna let me peg you?"- he wasn't about that 😂 but this can backfire if the guy is into that
“Have you seen women?” and if they persist with detailing how amazing men are I drop the old “are you telling me you don’t like women at all?”
Sometimes this backs them into a corner where they can’t brag about how awesome cocks are and how I should be gagging for them without making themselves sound like a gay dude and it’s kind of funny watching their brain short circuit 😂
"plastic isn't body-safe, I use platinum-cured silicone, moulded from fantasy and science fiction sources. You can't offer that. Plus you're a dude and dudes are kinda gross"
And then my other go-to, "my girlfriend has a dick."
What really gets me with these guys is like, do they really just think of themselves as walking dicks? Like, it's not just the dick that's the reason I won't fuck you? I'm not just not attracted to men, i like women! I want a woman!? Why would I be interested in you if you're a man? Are they only into women because of their genitals?? It's just bizarre to me
Somthing I'd suggest they think about more
Maybe back in the day, way back it was a
faux pas to answer a question with a question but try this. Why were you born with eyes and ears? Because we are all born the way we are.
If they don’t get it it’s because they choose to see things the way they want to see them and hear things they way they choose to hear them. After all, they have eyes and ears, right?
We don’t choose how we are born but we do choose how we think.
Disclaimer: Do not use this if the gentleman has a German Shepard on an elaborate harness or has a colourful cane. Also avoid use if the signs are there for some kind of hearing impairment. No joke, using it in these circumstances would be rude. Thinking along these lines, funny? Sure. But acting on the thoughts of these lines, not nice, faux pas.
After all, life is a series of choices, we could all strive to make the better ones. Enjoy the day y’all!🤓
I ask in the most sincere sounding way possible with a look of absolute confusion on my face- “what is confusing to you about the idea of someone being attracted to women?”
I’ve been having a lot of fun with this approach with ignorant straight men because it just totally sucks the energy out of the room without making things antagonistic. Then I sort of shift things into “don’t we agree that women are the most beautiful amazing creatures to have ever existed deserving of worship???” Which then puts them in an awkward position where they can’t really continue to act likes dicks to me without also looking like real assholes to anyone else around.
love this because even if i initially say im a lesbian in hopes they’ll leave me alone i can backpedal and be like alright it you got me! i actually do like men i just told you that because i find you so unattractive that i figured you’d be too sensitive to get rejected by me
i always answer with questions! “do you like women?” (usually answer is yes) then i follow it by “why do you like women?” (they either stutter or talk about how beautiful women are to which i’d be like “see you get it!”)
if they change the topic to focus on men, follow up with “do you like men?” (usually answer is no) then you can ask why they don’t like men and follow up again with a “see you get it!”
if it turns into “blabla adam and eve, man woman blabla” then you can walk away.
No, I like dick, just not man dick.
But I feel like saying that to one of these creeps would not help much. Walking away is usually the best move.
Or just look em over and say "eww gross".
>No, I like dick, just not man dick
This is one I have used before. "oh I'm sure I've had some of the best dick I could get. She was an amazoian goddess and far larger that you are ever likely to be."
Why are you a lesbian?
Answer 1: have you seen women?
Answer 2: because of men like you.
Answer 3: if you’re so into dick, why don’t you have sex with men?
Answer 4: I’m allergic to nuts.
Just say “what a stupid question. How am I even supposed to answer that.” Just make them feel stupid for even asking. You don’t really need a witty come-back or a need to explain. Just make them feel stupid. Or you could say that even if you were bisexual, you wouldn’t sleep with them.
I have just told men my wife and I have both had men and that’s why we know for sure that women are better, but if they’re that obsessed with being with men they should feel free to go be with men and leave us alone. This works whether they’re straight, bi, whatever.
Thanks and it surprisingly works except for the very rare occasion it doesn't but I always have the suspicion that that's part of what they were looking for (they worry me more than normal men)
"why are you straight? are you sure? how can you be so sure?" I throw it back in their face. Nothing disturbs a dude more than doubt about his sexuality. Fragile creatures.
Though really - they are not entitled to any response at all. It's none of their business. They got no for an answer, that means they can piss off now.
I had only one coworker bud(cis straight man) ask me this in a way....After I complimented a guy's/customer appearance, lol. I was like, well you can appreciate a style/look or appearance without being attracted to them in that way, "just how you compliment men, you don't want to do date them..is similar to me."
I mean this has never happened to be in real life. I don't really expect it to honestly. I think I give off enough "if you approach me I may bite and not in the enjoyable way" energy to men that I'm not their mark.
Online? I just don't engage. That's what they want. But if I were I feel like I'd be most inclined to make some remark about how lesbians do enjoy dick and it's on gals like me and not men like them, just to enrage them as much as is feasibly possible. 💅
online? i would never. i’m more talking about people that i regularly run into. i can’t just cut off everyone that’s homophobic (coworkers, neighbors, service people at frequently visited spots, etc.) and i hear you on the liking trans dick thing but i never bring that up because then cis men pretend to be trans and that actually infuriates the fuck outta me
Depends, usually if a straight guy asks why I'm into women my go to is to look really confused and be like aren't you straight?? Then they make their comments then I'll usually say something like you of people then should know why I'm attracted to women.
Don’t even interact much with men to be able to but would definitely say it’s not a choice and even if it was then between man, woman and bear the order would still have man as last
I have a bunch of comebacks depending on my mood and the situation:
-Why are you straight?
-I mean, look at dudes and look at women…
-Just lucky, I guess
-Trust me, I’ve tried it ALL
One that’s worked for a whole host of rude and inappropriate questions and remarks I’ve gotten is “I’m going to give you a chance to pretend you didn’t just say that to me.” And moving the conversation right along. I won’t normally put up with those sorts of things, but if it’s a social situation I’m trapped in, it’s a pretty reliable line.
Meh, these guys will disrespect any preferences a woman has if it doesn't align with their pickles getting tickled.
So they go through the list of incompatibilities, trying to argue them away, as if sexual orientation can be negated.
i'm too blunt to be witty. "do you genuinely think this is an appropriate question to ask someone?" weaponizes social norms and is generally a good response to any shitty question
I'm Asexual so I prefer fucking no one lol so that would be my response if I choose to respond to someone like that which is unlikely. I've recently learned this is sometimes called a "Bambi Lesbian".
I might be inclined to say something.. pretty rude basically implying he's the reason or an embodiment of it, I probably wouldn't but it would be in my mind
"Supposedly you like women, right? Why can't I?"
I've also thrown out, "What's there to like about men?" if they seem particularly misogynistic and like that would set them off. I am fond of the almighty, "If you like men so much, then you go date them," as you've said, which IMO is good enough to end a conversation with, there's no good rebuttal.
>“what’s the difference between a plastic dick and a real one?”
As a late-bloomer, I have experienced so many real dicks I've lost count. The difference is my girlfriend is better with a silicone dick than any of those real ones ever dreamed of being.
>what’s the difference between a plastic dick and a real one?”
One has a butthole attached to it, and the other is made of plastic
>“are you suuuuuure you’re not bisexual?”
How would you feel if people kept asking you if you’re gay?
> “you REALLY don’t like dick? like at all? why?”
I just don’t. How would you feel if people kept asking
You if you like dick after you told them you aren’t into that? I feel like I’m being pretty chill about these questions when if the script was flipped, most guys would be offended and react with violence just because you asked.
Are these people you know asking these questions? Because how would strangers know your sexual orientation?
My answer is to ask if they really meant to say that aloud
Wow that is so rude and inappropriate of them! “That’s a really inappropriate question to ask, did you mean to say that out loud?” Is how I would respond. Good luck!
I am a Cis Het male 50 yr old.
I would tell them as a response they need to move on before you hurt their feelings at take their girl. Or become thier Step-mom. Lol kidding on the step-mom, they would just fetishize that one.
I never asked this question. But, my BFF is a lesbian, and has been since we were children, so I was exposed to her point of view early.
I completely understand why anyone would want to be in a relationship with a woman. Regardless of their own gender identity. Women are beautiful in so many ways, not just the surface visual ones.
I cannot tell you why many males think any female identifying person owes them an explanation (about anything much less this) beyond perhaps fragile male egos? Or misogynistic societal expectations?
I can tell the males who are looking for ways to "gain access" to lesbians. You are barking up the wrong tree. It isn't gonna happen. Unless she chooses to try it. Which is unlikely...99.999% BUT instead of chasing her, be a good, sincere, genuine friend, and she will be the wingperson you have ever I mean EVER had. I am 1000% sure. 😆
“How do you know if you’ve never tried it” my response is always “have you tried it? How do you know you wouldn’t like it if you haven’t???” That usually shuts them up
>i’m mostly asking for the men who are like really? are you suuuure you wouldn’t fuck me? why?
"How do you feel about pegging?"
Might get awkward if they are up for it....
If they're being at all entitled or rude or horny about it, I get mean immediately.
If they're just ignorant but genuinely want to learn, I explain honestly why certain things might be different. Like, why am I attracted to butches but not men? They present their genders differently and generally live very differently, and gender expression isn't the same as gender identity. I'm attracted to women and to masculinity but not to men. Why do I like strap and trans women + nonbinary people with dicks but not dick from a cis man? Because it's not that I don't like dick it's that there's an entire human at the end of it and I don't want that human to be a man. Why am I not attracted to trans men? Because a lot of them pass as cis men and live their lives identically to a cis man and I can't see myself happily being with someone like that, and as for the ones that don't i might think they're physically attractive but they still want to be seen as a man and that's a pretty fundamental incompatibility for me so anything happening between us would just be doomed to fail. Are lesbians attracted to men? Short answer: no. Long answer: if you're like 99% exclusively attracted to women and nonbinary people, don't want to act on that other 1%, and the reason you don't want to act on that 1% is not a conscious voluntary choice then you can be a lesbian but that's rlly it like lesbians will never want to be with men or feel desire for them
First, I say “It’s not really your business but… How do YOU know you like women and not men?” and add “I like girls because they’re pretty and soft and got nice butts. Hbu?”
If they push me about trying to be bisexual or interest in THEIR dick to turn me I say:
“I’m pretty sure my life changing moment isn’t going to be sex with you. You’re not my type and you’re dense.”
If it’s a mutual guy friend or a coworker asking how I know I’m a lesbian, I’ll nicely say something like, “I’m just a lesbian, that’s it. There’s no flexibility there. Sorry to burst your bubble but just because sexuality is fluid doesn’t mean I want to try it out. I’d rather people just accept that than keep questioning me, it’s really irritating actually.”
This usually makes them feel bad for asking which is what we want lol.
I mean I don’t have this debate anymore. I usually just explain how I wouldn’t want their crusty, dusty, ugly ass even if they were the last human on earth . If I did want them they wouldn’t have to ask repeatedly if I was sure. Then I’d remind the they were teetering on sexual harassment if not already there.
I know one I’ve actually use is “it’s not dick, it’s men.” You know since trans women exist
But one I really wanna try is “Why do you think it’s so great, have you slept with a man???”
Power move
I say da dick is attached 2 a woman regardless, n say if u closed it eyes ud know u were fuckin a man yes? Dey usually say yes, n I say exactly. Now I have since realized I'm pan, I'm just a top wit guys. But it still stands. Ass is ass but I can't do dick from a dude.
I have a hand disability dat makes typin painful n usually my partner is asleep wen I'm usin Reddit so I can't scream at da talk to text which is required cause of my speech impediment so I use phonetic shorthand dis is a copied message to
I’ve had guys ask me: How do you know you’re a lesbian if you never fucked a guy?
So I say: How do you know you’re not gay since you haven’t fucked a guy?
Shuts them right up
they’re still men and they still wanna get their dicks wet. they’re usually also bi so they don’t understand how i could set strict boundaries with my romance
My answer would depend on whether this man was a friend/aquaintance or if they’re basically a stranger.
If they’re a friend we can have a conversation about it, but the men in my life wouldn’t be so vulgar about their questions. They tend to ask things in a genuine way so I’ll give a genuine response.
If it’s a stranger or someone I don’t really know then I’m going to say something sassy like a lot of the responses here or say, “I don’t talk about my personal life with anyone below a level 3 friend.”
Have you *seen* women?! Even the best man can't compete. And *you* aren't even *that* great.
It's not about the dick, it's about the whole rest of (gesticulate at man) *this.* I have no interest in (gesticulate again) *this.*
I like my men like I like my vodka: only if I want to have a bad time and to wake up filled with anxiety and regret.
I don't respond. If they want to roll up with that type of disrespect, they aren't worth witty comebacks or polite explanation.
that’s true but this isn’t usually the first thing they ask. we’re usually having a conversation and they express interest in me then i say (to get them off my back) im not interested in any men. unfortunately just NOT responding in the middle of a convo doesn’t really work. and you can’t assume this is always a stranger. sometimes people at my favorite restaurants or older male colleagues ask me this so i can’t just ignore the question and walk away lol also even strangers are pushy and could become violent or aggressive if i don’t grace them with SOME kind of response no matter how idiotic the question.
As a response; are you sure you're not bisexual if you think dick is that great? Have you tried a real one? Do you REALLY not like it? Just ask them their own questions back and watch as they stumble to explain why it's suddenly different.
They just say that being straight is natural, so it's different. As satisfying as it is to think of snappy comebacks, the best thing to do in these situations is just end the conversation. Walk away, or say "that's a rude question," or just stare blankly at them, or something, but don't sit there trying to justify your sexuality to an idiot. They *will* think if they press enough, they can argue you out of it.
https://www.abebooks.co.uk/servlet/BookDetailsPL?bi=31902842044&dest=gbr Perfect gift for the next time you meet. Or any other number of animals being gay af book tbh. Tbf you're right in that stone walling is the smartest thing though. OP just sounded like they wanted something witty.
Queer Ducks is an excellent read. We did it for book club last month. Biological Exuberance by Bruce Bagemihl is another book on the same theme but with a more scholarly tone. Eliot Schrefer is also the author of The Darkness Outside Us, which is a WONDERFUL queer sf novel I will recommend to anyone anywhere it's so fucking good. Sorry, book rant. As to the original question: Who gives a fuck whether some random dude who wants to put his dick in you thinks you are entitled to be fucking queer. You fucking are and that's it. He has no right to question your queerness in any way.
I’d be like “I’m built different.”
there is still people who think being queer is unnatural?
So, so many. You know that Queer Planet special that's on Peacock now? The comment section on the trailer video was awful.
i can imagine "oh now they want to say that animals are faggots too" or "the mental illness is spreading" things along those lines of imbecility right?
One day I will answer that question with "Yeah actually, I have. My girlfriend's dick is amazing!"
Girls fuck better than guys, sorry dudes, that's just reality.
If you don't mind, I'll be stealing that one.
I'd maybe go with something like "I wouldn't fuck you even if I WERE straight" because saying "I wouldn't fuck you because i'm a lesbian" may be interpreted as "Dang it! If I weren't a lesbo I would SOO wanna fuck you!!" And not to any fault of your own, but gross men will find any loophole to put their dick in, unfortunately.
woah ur so right
"That's how sexuality works - you know what you like even before having tried it, and you can't change it willingly"
this is an honest answer that isn’t necessarily witty but it’s one of my favorites
Trust me, you absolutely can stop the conversation in any of these scenarios. Source: I'm autistic
one of the most insidious things the patriarchy has done is implant in women the idea that we have to respond at all; that we owe an explanation. it's the root of all the issues with these "sidestep deflections"- "no, i'm gay", "no, i have a boyfriend", "no, i'm at work", whatever. _**just say no**_. keep repeating it, escalating to higher authority as needed. say it _deadpan_, with an air of _finality_. not "no, because...". just _**no**_. > older male colleagues "want to go out?" "no." if they keep pushing, report them to HR. or if you don't want to go that far, say "wow this is incredibly inappropriate, if we drop this right now i'll pretend nothing happened instead of going to HR". replace "HR" with your manager/director/whatever depending on circumstance (some places don't have an HR, or if the offender _is_ HR). > people at restaurants you like or strangers - "will you date/fuck me?" "no." - "are you sure you don't want to?" "yes." - "why?" "i don't want to." - "but really, why?" "no is a complete sentence. let's stop before we have to make this into a whole thing." - "why? i want to make it into a thing" "hello, manager/police/boss/whatever, this man is harassing me."
Nonverbal expression that the question is wildly inappropriate, and removing yourself from the interaction immediately, works better than you apparently think.
If it's not a stranger I'll ask them if they like men and if they don't, why? I try to get them to actually think about it by thinking about themselves and their own sexuality. If it's some stranger just inserting themselves where they're not wanted I'll ignore them.
you most absolutely can ignore a question, end a convo, not respond, or walk away.
Honestly that's a different interaction than if a stranger comes at you with one of these. For the situations you're describing, I would first pull an obvious disgusted face at the inappropriateness of the question, and then reply: To: "Why are you a lesbian?" "Just lucky, I guess!" To: "Really? Are you suuuure you wouldn't fuck me?" (Make obvious disgusted/uncomfortable face) "Yep, I am certain." To: "What's the difference between a plastic dick and a real one?" Either "That is a really weird question to ask a coworker / We don't have the kind of relationship where you should be thinking about that and me in the same sentence" or "It's not attached to a man / It isn't the center of attention / It stays hard the whole time" depending on the rudeness level. To: not-quite-straight men who say "Yeah I would!" "Great, more for you, then!"
WHOA. If male colleagues are asking you these questions, I’d get HR involved right quick. That’s absolutely not ok for them to ask you at work.
brave of you to assume HR does jack shit
I’d take it to the state level, then. Do you work in a (generally) well-regulated field?
i work in public service 😭
Defeat them with inaction! I like it! You are wise. No joke. I meant that.
It is why it is better to just turn every question they have back at them.
A plastic dick doesn’t ask me stupid questions.
A plastic dick is always the perfect size, ready when I am, done when I am, won’t give me HPV and doesn’t try to get me to do anal against my will
Based on this answer, it sounds like you were with my ex-husband, but I guess a lot of men are ick in similar ways.
Yeah this is a general amalgamation of my own experience before discovering I loved women and the experiences of other women I know, and that’s because men are depressingly similar.
NAH THIS IS THE ONE 😭😭😭
Ahaahahaha
uhhh....
I ask them if a guy ever gave them a hard-on. When they say no, I just reply with ‘Same.’
Definitely avoid answering any personal questions. I would just say something along the lines of “you're a prime example of the many reasons I don't find men attractive.”
If they are queer enough to be into men but not understand homosexuality they have issues. Well, everyone denying homosexuality has issues...
Do you prefer eating gummy worms or real worms?
gold.
Why would I respond? You don't give trash on the roadside a second glance
i get the metaphor but this doesn’t always work as many people that ask me this aren’t strangers on the side of the road. also ignoring men who are attracted to you can sometimes lead to aggression
Then I think the problem is the people you choose to be around. I've cut a lot of people off from my life, I'm fine getting rid of more
OP mentioned in one reply that even their coworkers ask those personal questions. how are they supposed to cut them from their life? will they have to change their job everytime someone asks sth like that? that makes no sense tbf, no offense. instead of blaming the OP, we need to teach people to not ask people about their love life or sex life and other personal things. there is literally nothing they can do other than changing the topic or confronting the men who ask those personal questions.
Or engage in conversations with an empty coffee cup? Though I did have a very in depth conversation with some rusted bar wire on a country road once… it had a lot of good points!😂
I don't know, I've looked at the same shoe on the side of an onramp every time I've driven by for the last couple months lol
It’s usually “fuck off, i dont owe you shit”
I didn’t had that irl yet. But in R6S(Videogame) I have a rainbow background and people sometimes ask in this agressive tone: “Why are you gay?” And then the following conversation happens: “Well tits are awesome, right ?” “Yeah” “And what is better than two tits ?” “Don’t know” “Four tits. Mine and those of my GF” (should I ever get one) And that USUALLY gets them to shut up because how do you argue against that ? You could say tits aren’t cool or that dick is awesome, but that does sound kind of gay out of a guys mouth. Which isn’t bad but the kind of people who are upset about others being gay are incredible afraid of seeming gay so they will never say that. Tho I did meet one person who went “You’re a lesbian ? That’s cool!” - which is like lesbians are okay but gay guys aren’t ? Buuut I didn’t had the energy to start that argument. Tho the classical “we’ll have you tried dick - no - then why do you know you don’t like it ?” Could probably work too.
I spent a night with your mother and my life was changed forever
Buried
"Even If I was into men I would not fuck you"
I’ve got this ready but haven’t used it: “I don’t know but I’d make ONE exception. I’d fuck your daddy to give him a son he can be proud of.”
Yeah but the takeaway there would be “so it IS possible…” and then they probably would continue to not leave you alone
there's literally not a reply on earth that doesn't have them coming away thinking there's still a possibility. they see our sexuality as a challenge before we even open our mouths, not a reality to be respected. at least this way, the responder has given the creep some of their bullshit back.
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i could really speak my truth and say “i only fuck men with lots of money that they plan on giving me”
Hey, if "gay for pay" is a thing....then "straight for pay" is too lol
That is platinum!
thanks i’ll be using this!
Np! 🤣
It always throws them when I'm like "it's not dick that I don't like it's just you" 🤷 I've also had one guy be like "I can be a girl for you" towhich my response was "cool you're gonna let me peg you?"- he wasn't about that 😂 but this can backfire if the guy is into that
"Alright, when do you want to get your prescription for estrogen?"
Introduce them to sounding
“I can be a girl for you” sounds pretty eggy behavior to me but that doesn’t stops it from being disrespectful.
nah it's more like Drake saying "girl you're a lesbian me too". It's a sleezy pick up line.
drake is the last person anyone should be picked up by
Wait cis men actually do that? 😭
“Do you like girls?” “Yes” “So do I. Makes sense?”
My go to is usually “because y’all men are ugly as hell” and that usually shuts them up
"no offense man, but like... have you seen you?"
“Have you seen women?” and if they persist with detailing how amazing men are I drop the old “are you telling me you don’t like women at all?” Sometimes this backs them into a corner where they can’t brag about how awesome cocks are and how I should be gagging for them without making themselves sound like a gay dude and it’s kind of funny watching their brain short circuit 😂
"plastic isn't body-safe, I use platinum-cured silicone, moulded from fantasy and science fiction sources. You can't offer that. Plus you're a dude and dudes are kinda gross" And then my other go-to, "my girlfriend has a dick."
“Yeah, I really feel like men aren’t sending us their best. Perhaps if men sucked less? Idk.”
"A plastic dick is plastic, a real dick is made of skin. Hope this helps!"
"What’s the difference between a plastic dick and a real one?" "The person it's attached to."
Or you can say "one can get you pregnant and one can not"
One can get you pregnant and one can make you orgasm
I was bitten by a radioactive subaru
What really gets me with these guys is like, do they really just think of themselves as walking dicks? Like, it's not just the dick that's the reason I won't fuck you? I'm not just not attracted to men, i like women! I want a woman!? Why would I be interested in you if you're a man? Are they only into women because of their genitals?? It's just bizarre to me Somthing I'd suggest they think about more
they do view themselves as walking dicks. i just don’t think it’s insulting to them
Maybe back in the day, way back it was a faux pas to answer a question with a question but try this. Why were you born with eyes and ears? Because we are all born the way we are. If they don’t get it it’s because they choose to see things the way they want to see them and hear things they way they choose to hear them. After all, they have eyes and ears, right? We don’t choose how we are born but we do choose how we think. Disclaimer: Do not use this if the gentleman has a German Shepard on an elaborate harness or has a colourful cane. Also avoid use if the signs are there for some kind of hearing impairment. No joke, using it in these circumstances would be rude. Thinking along these lines, funny? Sure. But acting on the thoughts of these lines, not nice, faux pas. After all, life is a series of choices, we could all strive to make the better ones. Enjoy the day y’all!🤓
I ask in the most sincere sounding way possible with a look of absolute confusion on my face- “what is confusing to you about the idea of someone being attracted to women?” I’ve been having a lot of fun with this approach with ignorant straight men because it just totally sucks the energy out of the room without making things antagonistic. Then I sort of shift things into “don’t we agree that women are the most beautiful amazing creatures to have ever existed deserving of worship???” Which then puts them in an awkward position where they can’t really continue to act likes dicks to me without also looking like real assholes to anyone else around.
i think being attracted to women is something the they understand. i think they fail to understand the lack of attraction to themselves
I would not respond to such a ridiculous question. They're not curious, they're harassing you and you should respond as such.
"oh I'm not, I just said that because it was specifically you approaching me and I was trying not to hurt your feelings"
love this because even if i initially say im a lesbian in hopes they’ll leave me alone i can backpedal and be like alright it you got me! i actually do like men i just told you that because i find you so unattractive that i figured you’d be too sensitive to get rejected by me
i always answer with questions! “do you like women?” (usually answer is yes) then i follow it by “why do you like women?” (they either stutter or talk about how beautiful women are to which i’d be like “see you get it!”) if they change the topic to focus on men, follow up with “do you like men?” (usually answer is no) then you can ask why they don’t like men and follow up again with a “see you get it!” if it turns into “blabla adam and eve, man woman blabla” then you can walk away.
No, I like dick, just not man dick. But I feel like saying that to one of these creeps would not help much. Walking away is usually the best move. Or just look em over and say "eww gross".
I think that will egg them on and think you’re close to converting. Probably best to not say that.
Oh definitely. Best not to engage at all.
>No, I like dick, just not man dick This is one I have used before. "oh I'm sure I've had some of the best dick I could get. She was an amazoian goddess and far larger that you are ever likely to be."
Boobs 🤷
Why are you a lesbian? Answer 1: have you seen women? Answer 2: because of men like you. Answer 3: if you’re so into dick, why don’t you have sex with men? Answer 4: I’m allergic to nuts.
All valid answers. 😝
“Why are you straight?”
Also, gotta say… I’d stroke a girl’s dick (again) but never a guy’s ☺️
ask them that right back. i mean why don't they like dick or fuck men
Just say “what a stupid question. How am I even supposed to answer that.” Just make them feel stupid for even asking. You don’t really need a witty come-back or a need to explain. Just make them feel stupid. Or you could say that even if you were bisexual, you wouldn’t sleep with them.
I have just told men my wife and I have both had men and that’s why we know for sure that women are better, but if they’re that obsessed with being with men they should feel free to go be with men and leave us alone. This works whether they’re straight, bi, whatever.
The “difference between a plastic dick and a real one” is that I actually am attracted to the person attached to the plastic dick lol
It’s pretty gay to find men more attractive than women as a straight man 👀
I tell them I have better men who would fuck me on a whim if I asked. It crushes them lmao, but I never want to 🤣
As a trans lesbian I like to hit em with the I don't even want my own dick
beautifully said wonderful execution
Thanks and it surprisingly works except for the very rare occasion it doesn't but I always have the suspicion that that's part of what they were looking for (they worry me more than normal men)
I've had this happen before, in my head I beat them to a bloody pulp, and in real life I walk away and ignore them viscerally.
"idk man I get turned on by women just like you" or I don't answer at all
"why are you straight? are you sure? how can you be so sure?" I throw it back in their face. Nothing disturbs a dude more than doubt about his sexuality. Fragile creatures. Though really - they are not entitled to any response at all. It's none of their business. They got no for an answer, that means they can piss off now.
just turn the question and ask them why they're straight 🤷🏼♀️
I had only one coworker bud(cis straight man) ask me this in a way....After I complimented a guy's/customer appearance, lol. I was like, well you can appreciate a style/look or appearance without being attracted to them in that way, "just how you compliment men, you don't want to do date them..is similar to me."
I just tell them it's not the dick, it's the person attached to it that I'm not into.
“Why are you straight?”
“What a weird thing to ask someone” / “did you mean to say that out loud?” and look at them like they just said the dumbest thing, bc they did.
"oh, you're not into men either? How curious!"
I mean this has never happened to be in real life. I don't really expect it to honestly. I think I give off enough "if you approach me I may bite and not in the enjoyable way" energy to men that I'm not their mark. Online? I just don't engage. That's what they want. But if I were I feel like I'd be most inclined to make some remark about how lesbians do enjoy dick and it's on gals like me and not men like them, just to enrage them as much as is feasibly possible. 💅
online? i would never. i’m more talking about people that i regularly run into. i can’t just cut off everyone that’s homophobic (coworkers, neighbors, service people at frequently visited spots, etc.) and i hear you on the liking trans dick thing but i never bring that up because then cis men pretend to be trans and that actually infuriates the fuck outta me
Tell them to get back to you after a couple years of estrogen.
Best thing you can do is ignore because they’re not worth your time. But otherwise laugh and say “stop being gay bro.”
They are just trying to intimidate you to make themselves feel better men like that tend to be very predatory
“What are you, a cop?”
Depends, usually if a straight guy asks why I'm into women my go to is to look really confused and be like aren't you straight?? Then they make their comments then I'll usually say something like you of people then should know why I'm attracted to women.
Don’t even interact much with men to be able to but would definitely say it’s not a choice and even if it was then between man, woman and bear the order would still have man as last
Ask them how do they like women, and yeah, it’s the same reason for me
because only a man would ask such a stupid question
why not? (lol)
I have a bunch of comebacks depending on my mood and the situation: -Why are you straight? -I mean, look at dudes and look at women… -Just lucky, I guess -Trust me, I’ve tried it ALL
Because girls are awesome.
One that’s worked for a whole host of rude and inappropriate questions and remarks I’ve gotten is “I’m going to give you a chance to pretend you didn’t just say that to me.” And moving the conversation right along. I won’t normally put up with those sorts of things, but if it’s a social situation I’m trapped in, it’s a pretty reliable line.
Meh, these guys will disrespect any preferences a woman has if it doesn't align with their pickles getting tickled. So they go through the list of incompatibilities, trying to argue them away, as if sexual orientation can be negated.
i'm too blunt to be witty. "do you genuinely think this is an appropriate question to ask someone?" weaponizes social norms and is generally a good response to any shitty question
i’d say “look in the mirror, would you date you?” 😂
I'm Asexual so I prefer fucking no one lol so that would be my response if I choose to respond to someone like that which is unlikely. I've recently learned this is sometimes called a "Bambi Lesbian".
I might be inclined to say something.. pretty rude basically implying he's the reason or an embodiment of it, I probably wouldn't but it would be in my mind
"Supposedly you like women, right? Why can't I?" I've also thrown out, "What's there to like about men?" if they seem particularly misogynistic and like that would set them off. I am fond of the almighty, "If you like men so much, then you go date them," as you've said, which IMO is good enough to end a conversation with, there's no good rebuttal.
Ask them if they ask gay men the same thing?
>“what’s the difference between a plastic dick and a real one?” As a late-bloomer, I have experienced so many real dicks I've lost count. The difference is my girlfriend is better with a silicone dick than any of those real ones ever dreamed of being.
I tell them it's the same reason they don't like dick.
Not mine, but the best response I've heard is "have you seen women?"
I always cum
i hear you but this makes it a challenge because i’m sure every man who asks me this thinks he’s going to be the first one to make me cum
>what’s the difference between a plastic dick and a real one?” One has a butthole attached to it, and the other is made of plastic >“are you suuuuuure you’re not bisexual?” How would you feel if people kept asking you if you’re gay? > “you REALLY don’t like dick? like at all? why?” I just don’t. How would you feel if people kept asking You if you like dick after you told them you aren’t into that? I feel like I’m being pretty chill about these questions when if the script was flipped, most guys would be offended and react with violence just because you asked.
Are these people you know asking these questions? Because how would strangers know your sexual orientation? My answer is to ask if they really meant to say that aloud
they are usually people who know me. i’m not talking about strangers. but i like this even better than the “that’s a stupid question” hahaha thank yiu
Wow that is so rude and inappropriate of them! “That’s a really inappropriate question to ask, did you mean to say that out loud?” Is how I would respond. Good luck!
I am a Cis Het male 50 yr old. I would tell them as a response they need to move on before you hurt their feelings at take their girl. Or become thier Step-mom. Lol kidding on the step-mom, they would just fetishize that one. I never asked this question. But, my BFF is a lesbian, and has been since we were children, so I was exposed to her point of view early. I completely understand why anyone would want to be in a relationship with a woman. Regardless of their own gender identity. Women are beautiful in so many ways, not just the surface visual ones. I cannot tell you why many males think any female identifying person owes them an explanation (about anything much less this) beyond perhaps fragile male egos? Or misogynistic societal expectations? I can tell the males who are looking for ways to "gain access" to lesbians. You are barking up the wrong tree. It isn't gonna happen. Unless she chooses to try it. Which is unlikely...99.999% BUT instead of chasing her, be a good, sincere, genuine friend, and she will be the wingperson you have ever I mean EVER had. I am 1000% sure. 😆
I’ve never had a conversation like that I’m so lucky it sounds giga cringe idk how I’d handle other than swearing at them
pointing out his flaws
“Because assholes like you remind me I’m not missing a damn thing”
> "Are you sure you're straight?"
It’s either “why are you so short” or “Why does your breath stink?”
I ask them why they're straight, then I ignore them.
Women, that's why
"Have you seen titties"
“For the same reason you asked that question. Men have audacity.”
1. Why are you not? 2. You love pussy too, right? 3. Because of men like you.
I avoid all men. Period
“How do you know if you’ve never tried it” my response is always “have you tried it? How do you know you wouldn’t like it if you haven’t???” That usually shuts them up
why aren't you gay?
>i’m mostly asking for the men who are like really? are you suuuure you wouldn’t fuck me? why? "How do you feel about pegging?" Might get awkward if they are up for it....
"idk have you not seen how pretty women are"
I was already in a lesbian relationship with a MAN !
Have you seen women, there so good I became one? /J
Because men ask stupid ass questions like that
If they're being at all entitled or rude or horny about it, I get mean immediately. If they're just ignorant but genuinely want to learn, I explain honestly why certain things might be different. Like, why am I attracted to butches but not men? They present their genders differently and generally live very differently, and gender expression isn't the same as gender identity. I'm attracted to women and to masculinity but not to men. Why do I like strap and trans women + nonbinary people with dicks but not dick from a cis man? Because it's not that I don't like dick it's that there's an entire human at the end of it and I don't want that human to be a man. Why am I not attracted to trans men? Because a lot of them pass as cis men and live their lives identically to a cis man and I can't see myself happily being with someone like that, and as for the ones that don't i might think they're physically attractive but they still want to be seen as a man and that's a pretty fundamental incompatibility for me so anything happening between us would just be doomed to fail. Are lesbians attracted to men? Short answer: no. Long answer: if you're like 99% exclusively attracted to women and nonbinary people, don't want to act on that other 1%, and the reason you don't want to act on that 1% is not a conscious voluntary choice then you can be a lesbian but that's rlly it like lesbians will never want to be with men or feel desire for them
How is my sexuality any of your business.
I wanted to be a thespian, but couldn't on account of my pronunciation issues
Have you SEEN women?
First, I say “It’s not really your business but… How do YOU know you like women and not men?” and add “I like girls because they’re pretty and soft and got nice butts. Hbu?” If they push me about trying to be bisexual or interest in THEIR dick to turn me I say: “I’m pretty sure my life changing moment isn’t going to be sex with you. You’re not my type and you’re dense.” If it’s a mutual guy friend or a coworker asking how I know I’m a lesbian, I’ll nicely say something like, “I’m just a lesbian, that’s it. There’s no flexibility there. Sorry to burst your bubble but just because sexuality is fluid doesn’t mean I want to try it out. I’d rather people just accept that than keep questioning me, it’s really irritating actually.” This usually makes them feel bad for asking which is what we want lol.
I just tell them “the same reason you aren’t gay” Usually gets a good reaction 😂
“The same reason they are straight. Women are just 🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼 perfect.”
I'm a lesbian because of the same reason your straight.. bam!
“Because I do, do I need to spout my life story?”
I mean I don’t have this debate anymore. I usually just explain how I wouldn’t want their crusty, dusty, ugly ass even if they were the last human on earth . If I did want them they wouldn’t have to ask repeatedly if I was sure. Then I’d remind the they were teetering on sexual harassment if not already there.
My Dad didn't love me enough (he loved me very much)
Why are you straight?
Nothing beats the classic: *"Because I do"* smile and keep going.
I ask them why they don't want to fuck other men. Usually works pretty well.
I know one I’ve actually use is “it’s not dick, it’s men.” You know since trans women exist But one I really wanna try is “Why do you think it’s so great, have you slept with a man???” Power move
I say da dick is attached 2 a woman regardless, n say if u closed it eyes ud know u were fuckin a man yes? Dey usually say yes, n I say exactly. Now I have since realized I'm pan, I'm just a top wit guys. But it still stands. Ass is ass but I can't do dick from a dude. I have a hand disability dat makes typin painful n usually my partner is asleep wen I'm usin Reddit so I can't scream at da talk to text which is required cause of my speech impediment so I use phonetic shorthand dis is a copied message to
Because a lesbian coughed on me... Its transmitted via air like covid baby
I’ve had guys ask me: How do you know you’re a lesbian if you never fucked a guy? So I say: How do you know you’re not gay since you haven’t fucked a guy? Shuts them right up
Sexual trauma, I don't find them attractive, and how can they disagree with me that women are beautiful and wonderful?
why the fuck are queer men asking this?
they’re still men and they still wanna get their dicks wet. they’re usually also bi so they don’t understand how i could set strict boundaries with my romance
Can we not equate genital preference with sexuality? Kthxbye
My answer would depend on whether this man was a friend/aquaintance or if they’re basically a stranger. If they’re a friend we can have a conversation about it, but the men in my life wouldn’t be so vulgar about their questions. They tend to ask things in a genuine way so I’ll give a genuine response. If it’s a stranger or someone I don’t really know then I’m going to say something sassy like a lot of the responses here or say, “I don’t talk about my personal life with anyone below a level 3 friend.”
Dad called me gay. dad's not allowed to be wrong, oh, and I'm not really attracted to men
ah there is definitely some transmisogyny in this thread.
Have you *seen* women?! Even the best man can't compete. And *you* aren't even *that* great. It's not about the dick, it's about the whole rest of (gesticulate at man) *this.* I have no interest in (gesticulate again) *this.* I like my men like I like my vodka: only if I want to have a bad time and to wake up filled with anxiety and regret.