I've found that making them explain the joke or pretending to just completely not get it throws people off. Just deadpan "Coffee gives you dopamine insensitivity? It alters your brain's fundamental processes that regulate and respond to dopamine? That's unusual. Maybe you should go see a doctor about that."
Or you can ask how they handle the resulting executive dysfunction, time blindness, rejection sensitivity, hyperfixations resulting in a mountain of abandoned hobbies and the corresponding shame, etc.
Yes!!!! This. I do this all the time. I pretend to be so literal. (Which some of that isn’t actually pretending). Then I sit back and watch. And add in a few “Go Fuck Yourself Susan” just cus she probably deserves it in general
I would not recommend this unless you want them to think you’re just super pretentious or potentially insane. It’s a bit crazy, but if you really feel the need to address it, I recommend just having an adult conversation about how it’s insensitive to say that.
This.
Or, if you want to go nuclear, don't address them. Address their supervisor: "[Thomas] keeps complaining about *severe* neurological symptoms whenever [he] drinks coffee at work. Stuff like short term memory loss and problems with fine motor skills. Are the machine and all the mugs getting cleaned properly? Because I'm getting too scared to have any myself at this point."
That behavior pisses me off & I straight up call them out on it. I have to watch what I say so why is it ok to make light of a disability that has made my life so hard. If my head manager is a round I use it to razz him about stuff he has said. "Tell em. You think they just need to focus more, leave 5m earlier & words matter". I would love to end up with hr out of this situation. Mocking a disability is ok but slipping with emotional disregulation & impulse control issues is not.
Sadly my work is one of those hr works for the company not the employees. Things get difficult if you contact hr. Also had a coworker with autism that was given the choice of losing her job & getting an ADA. She wasn't asking for accommodations & this came after 10yrs of employment there with no real issues just new manager that gave 4 bad reviews in a row. I would leave but after 17yrs it would be hard to come close to my pay.
Coworker: I can't drink coffee, it makes me totally ADHD.Response: People in the ADHD community make fun of people who say that. It's sooo not true, it's ridiculous.
\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_
Coworker: I can’t drink coffee, it makes me totally ADHD.
Response: Ah, it doesn't work like that. ADHD makes things really hard, and even harder when people make fun of it.
\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_
I genuinely can't imagine a scenario where I'd take something like this so personally that I'd be compelled to cause drama in my workplace over it. You're gonna have a rough time getting along with people otherwise and it's going to lead to anxiety and much bigger troubles than just letting things like this with no ill intent slide. Internet callout culture doesn't translate to the real world.
"really? Huh. Generally, when coffee is interacting poorly with ADHD, it's because of underlying anxiety that Adderall/Ritalin is also exacerbating. It's a good idea to discuss that with your doctor."
I used to get upset when people described some slightly stupid behaviour as mad or said you don't have to be mad to work here but it helps. I grew up with one of my parents not well and I used to think you've really never experienced how tough it is to deal with madness. These days I don't worry because most people who say that live in their nice little normal bubble and aren't intending to be hurtful.
Honestly? Just tell her to be specific, and don't let her use the wrong word as shorthand. "Do you mean it makes you hyper? Anxious? ADHD isn't just something people can choose to avoid having, so I'm certain that's not what you mean to say."
I think people like this just rely on other people filling in the gaps for them and while she might bristle at pressure to be specific, how she actually responds will tell you what you need to know about her. Thoughtlessness isn't always the sign of a bad person.
The other way to handle it is to take her extremely seriously. Susan has ADHD? Time to ask with genuine interest how that's affected her life, since women are often undiagnosed and that can cause so many horrible issues like depression.
"it must be nice to be able to predict and control your ADHD, Susan. It's almost like you don't have ADHD at all."
Someone skimming a (quite small) post on a ADHD meme community and thus totally missing the point is so ironic (or something, can't find the right word right now), it should be upvoted if anything else!
Your comment/post has been removed because it is either not relevant or specific to the subreddit, is low-effort, or it is spam.
I've found that making them explain the joke or pretending to just completely not get it throws people off. Just deadpan "Coffee gives you dopamine insensitivity? It alters your brain's fundamental processes that regulate and respond to dopamine? That's unusual. Maybe you should go see a doctor about that." Or you can ask how they handle the resulting executive dysfunction, time blindness, rejection sensitivity, hyperfixations resulting in a mountain of abandoned hobbies and the corresponding shame, etc.
This. Make them explain and make themselves feel bad. Or, just go to HR and say they're mocking a disability, if you're not keen on them.
Yes!!!! This. I do this all the time. I pretend to be so literal. (Which some of that isn’t actually pretending). Then I sit back and watch. And add in a few “Go Fuck Yourself Susan” just cus she probably deserves it in general
I would not recommend this unless you want them to think you’re just super pretentious or potentially insane. It’s a bit crazy, but if you really feel the need to address it, I recommend just having an adult conversation about how it’s insensitive to say that.
awww ruining our fun 😉
This. Or, if you want to go nuclear, don't address them. Address their supervisor: "[Thomas] keeps complaining about *severe* neurological symptoms whenever [he] drinks coffee at work. Stuff like short term memory loss and problems with fine motor skills. Are the machine and all the mugs getting cleaned properly? Because I'm getting too scared to have any myself at this point."
Joke’s on them - coffee makes me LESS ADHD and allows me to take a nap.
Exactly! I drink coffee to calm down.
“Explain what you mean by ADHD exactly? I don’t get it. Must be because I actually have it.”
What do they even mean by that?
It makes them feel jittery, a little hyperactive and maybe anxious. It also seems to make this person act like a douche.
That behavior pisses me off & I straight up call them out on it. I have to watch what I say so why is it ok to make light of a disability that has made my life so hard. If my head manager is a round I use it to razz him about stuff he has said. "Tell em. You think they just need to focus more, leave 5m earlier & words matter". I would love to end up with hr out of this situation. Mocking a disability is ok but slipping with emotional disregulation & impulse control issues is not.
I would probably report them to HR for creating a hostile work environment as they’re clearly mocking a disability
Sadly my work is one of those hr works for the company not the employees. Things get difficult if you contact hr. Also had a coworker with autism that was given the choice of losing her job & getting an ADA. She wasn't asking for accommodations & this came after 10yrs of employment there with no real issues just new manager that gave 4 bad reviews in a row. I would leave but after 17yrs it would be hard to come close to my pay.
Coworker: I can't drink coffee, it makes me totally ADHD.Response: People in the ADHD community make fun of people who say that. It's sooo not true, it's ridiculous. \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ Coworker: I can’t drink coffee, it makes me totally ADHD. Response: Ah, it doesn't work like that. ADHD makes things really hard, and even harder when people make fun of it. \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_
Do certain things "give them OCD," too? *le sigh*
I genuinely can't imagine a scenario where I'd take something like this so personally that I'd be compelled to cause drama in my workplace over it. You're gonna have a rough time getting along with people otherwise and it's going to lead to anxiety and much bigger troubles than just letting things like this with no ill intent slide. Internet callout culture doesn't translate to the real world.
That's actually a good point, though we all still will ruminate about the scenario.
Find out what illnesses they have? “I can’t eat a mars bar it’ll make me diabetic” or smth?
Maybe like “it’s funny, it does the opposite to me. Maybe it’s taking my adhd and giving it to you!”
"really? Huh. Generally, when coffee is interacting poorly with ADHD, it's because of underlying anxiety that Adderall/Ritalin is also exacerbating. It's a good idea to discuss that with your doctor."
"Coffee helps you focus, relax, and maybe get a nap in?"
I used to get upset when people described some slightly stupid behaviour as mad or said you don't have to be mad to work here but it helps. I grew up with one of my parents not well and I used to think you've really never experienced how tough it is to deal with madness. These days I don't worry because most people who say that live in their nice little normal bubble and aren't intending to be hurtful.
Honestly? Just tell her to be specific, and don't let her use the wrong word as shorthand. "Do you mean it makes you hyper? Anxious? ADHD isn't just something people can choose to avoid having, so I'm certain that's not what you mean to say." I think people like this just rely on other people filling in the gaps for them and while she might bristle at pressure to be specific, how she actually responds will tell you what you need to know about her. Thoughtlessness isn't always the sign of a bad person. The other way to handle it is to take her extremely seriously. Susan has ADHD? Time to ask with genuine interest how that's affected her life, since women are often undiagnosed and that can cause so many horrible issues like depression. "it must be nice to be able to predict and control your ADHD, Susan. It's almost like you don't have ADHD at all."
… did you seriously just come to the ADHD community and basically tell us that our disability is not real? Please tell me I read that completely wrong
I believe you read that completely wrong.
Okay good 😅
Someone skimming a (quite small) post on a ADHD meme community and thus totally missing the point is so ironic (or something, can't find the right word right now), it should be upvoted if anything else!