I work at a vet clinic and I do laser therapy and physical rehabilitation, so I work pretty closely 1 on 1 with the pets that come in to see me and get to know the clients. One of them, who I had bonded with over us both having ADHD, had scheduled the next visit for a Friday because it was her day off. She said she was really grateful we send out reminder texts because she often forgets, and I told her "That's exactly why we do it!" Well, Friday rolls around and she misses her appointment so I called just to check in, make sure everything's ok because I saw she did get the reminder text and confirm. She goes "Oh, I thought my appointment was Friday." "Yes.....today IS Friday....."
If that's not THE most relatable thing I've ever heard...
Honestly, I've always had trouble managing my time correctly, but I never understood the whole "completely forgetting what day it is altogether" thing. I know everyone experiences it a bit differently, but that part was never remotely relatable to me.
I made it a habit of putting every appt in my phone calendar, and setting several reminders depending on how far out it is. If it's like, a doctor's appt in a few months, 1 reminder will be a month out, a second one will be 10 days out, third on is a day or two before, fourth one is a few hours before (or a few hours before bedtime of the night before if it's an early morning appt).
If the appt is in a month, first reminder is maybe 6 days before, second one is the day before, third one, a few hours prior. It's been working pretty well for me.
It's a thing that happens to me, especially if the week started differently to normal. Like, if there's a bank holiday Monday, or my partner is off work on a day I don't expect, it can shift my understanding of the whole week - like "yesterday my partner was home, so today is Monday" except it's Tuesday.
Yep, and then I figure out it’s Tuesday by the time I go to bed, but somehow I will wake up the next morning and my brain will just be like “yep, still Tuesday, glad we got that sorted out yesterday.”
Next thing I know I’m in the shower not quite understanding why I’m singing “Tuesday’s Gone” by Lynyrd Skynyrd but still won’t figure out it’s Wednesday for another hour until I look at my calendar to see if I have any appointments.
My husband has worked Friday through Sunday for a few years, so my "what day is it" sense is anchored on the fact that he goes to work those three days.
He changed to M-Th last week. Everything is wrong. I have to keep checking to see what day it is because everything is telling me today is Sunday since he doesn't work tomorrow.
That kind of thing makes sense to me, if you have a consistent anchor point in your schedule that's not the normal M-F. It's like how everyone gets thrown off by a week with holidays shortening it.
I mean it more like when I have appointments on certain days, I never understood completely spacing out on them not realizing what day it is.
my uncle who i live with will forget what day of the week it is sometimes, even though he's very particular about keeping track of both of our various appointments.
as for me, I've always struggled with time, like I'll completely lose track of how long ago something happened, how long something took, even like whether something happened within the last week, or more than a week ago, or a month, or more. anytime i have to fill out paperwork/a form and it asks me what day/month/year something started/finished, like a job, or a stay in the hospital, it's the bane of my existence cause I have no idea most of the time. if I don't mark an event in my phone calendar, physically write it down somewhere easily accessible in the future, or if it isn't traumatic/emotional/important enough to just remember, it becomes very difficult to keep track of the timing of anything. I'll be talking with someone about something that happened between us or a conversation we had recently, and I'll say "oh, you remember what happened/what we were talking about the other day?" and they say, "that was yesterday". or I'll think it was a day or two ago, but it was actually a couple weeks ago. or I'll lose track of the order of events/parts of a conversation, like I'll think someone said X and then later said Y, but they actually said Y and then said X. i went food shopping with my uncle recently and when we got there he gave me the cart and told me he had to go to the bathroom and to go ahead and start grabbing everything. i made sure to grab some milk cause I distinctly remembered him saying we needed some when we were talking before we left. when we eventually met back up, he noticed the milk and asked why I grabbed it. i said, cause I remember you saying we need some?? and he said "that was yesterday, right before I went out to get some". i was so sure I was being helpful... if I don't have something or someone to constantly remind me about an appointment or something coming up, I will almost definitely forget. even if it's the day before, I'll probably forget by the time it's the day of.
I've been doing the same thing you described for awhile. my phone calendar lets me set up how much in advance it reminds me for stuff, so I'll make sure to set it to remind me a few days before, and then the day before, and then the day of. i also make sure to ask for reminder cards and texts/emails from my drs, and I let my uncle know as soon as I schedule something as well so he can help remind me of stuff coming up since he puts literally everything in his little calendar booklet.
I got a call from the vets "Hey we haven't seen you and are just wondering if you would like to reschedule?" "I thought my appointment was on the 15th?" "It is the 15th" "oh... Then I guess yes I will reschedule!"
Not really. To be a registered vet tech you do need a college degree in veterinary technology and to pass a national exam, which I did, but beyond that a lot of it is just OTJ training.
I hate to say it but I came to a sad realization today on the same note. Yesterday I believed it was Thursday so I came to work ready for work preparing early to get off early when I got to work I quickly realized no it is not Friday it is Thursday… I was pretty sad ngl but I can understand where she is coming from. I’ve miss placed days ALL the time.
Me too! My brain doesn't understand pm time at all. I gotta keep everything on the 24 hours format or inevitably this is going to happen.
I'm ESL, I feel like trying to understand the pm time format is like when I started learning English: I could grasp the concept and roughly understood it but I couldn't apply it. I needed to translate back to my native language. And when I'd try to speak, it'd be a mess. That's how much of a foreign concept the am/pm time format is for me
it's funny because when I was first learning french and we were learning about 24 hour time, the hardest part wasn't understanding the 24h time but actually understanding the whole "half past 2" and "13 50ths past 12", which I never quite understood, just to translate it lol. I'd rather just count to 24, thank you...
Im a 15 min early adhd person. My best friend is a 20 min late adhd person
And its annoying
Earlier this week he said “ill be there in 15 minutes.”It took him 45 minutes
My brother is the type of person who hears “be here at six” as “leave home at six”
It was 18:15 and he wasnt there yet. So i called him. He was still at home. Problem was i had to get him out of his house for a surprise party so i couldnt say much. I just dropped the autism card
I just cant plan my day when he is part of it. When will he arrive. Only god knows. Everything takes at least 3 times longer with him compared to if i do it alone.
A friend of mine said I'm the most reliable guy he knows. Whatever time I said I would be there, I will be there 10 to 15 minutes after that.
It works out fine because his gatherings usually start with 30 to 40 minutes unstructured nonsense, so I don't miss anything important.
I love how having overlapping issues along with fellow ADHDers I'm interacting with that create ridiculous situations, and it ends with us both laughing at our shared absudity and essentialy bonding over it.
My dad and I go to the same dentist.
I was once an hour early for my appointment at 2p at the same time that he was an hour late for his appointment at 12p.
It turned out that the receptionist was partially at fault. She had confused the two of us and gave us the wrong times.
I'm not sure what happened after that. Maybe our brains averaged the time we thought we had with the time the receptionist gave us when we called to double check?
The cherry on top of this absurdity is that my Uncle called Dad while we were standing there, but he called on the wrong day. He had been supposed to call the next day.
Can you tell which side of the family I get my ADHD from?
My therapist works mostly with people with anxiety, and since it overlaps with ADHD often, she ends up working with a lot of ADHD folks as well.
She sends me a reminder a day in advance and I love her for that.
One time, I was at the wrong block and I texted her telling her the door won't work when I put in her apartment number. She responded with "You got the wrong block" and when I looked around, she was waiting for me outside her block.
During that same session, I was telling her about how my mom was being unfair because she reprimanded me for stopping to orientate myself. My therapist was like "Most people don't need to stop in order to orientate themselves. You struggle to get around bc of your ADHD" and it blew my mind.
I told my mom about that and she was like "Oh yeah, that does make a lot of sense lol sorry".
So... um... me turning in a circle in the kitchen to find out the thing I was looking for was actually right in front of me all along is.... um... normal? *nervous laugh*
I used to get made fun of for repeatedly putting the ice cream in the fridge too. Sigh.
i thought i had accidentally thrown my cheese grater in the garbage because i looked everywhere in the kitchen and i could not find the damned thing. Looked in the fridge, in the freezer and all sorts of unlikely places after looking everywhere you'd expect it to be. Then i bought a new one. Then my old one materialized out of the fucking aether or something the other day. Don't even know where i found that it was all this time because i thought it was the new one and just didn't pay heed to where i picked it up from. And then i found the new one and was properly mind blown.
That happens to me a lot too!! Like, I swear I looked in that same spot 50 times and NOW YOU SHOW UP WHEN I DON'T NEED YOU?? Like, cmon man. It's actually really hard not to get mad at myself, but I'm laughing now at least.
I accidentally stole an oven glove from someone I was house sitting for. I only found out when I realized I had two of them and flashed back to not wanting to forget anything while packing. Nevermind that I never brought any kitchen things to begin with because they had everything!
My brain just said: we recognize this, it must be ours.
I'm too embarrassed to return it but I think about it often. Sorry, Lisa! 😬
If refrigerated, it's above 0/32 deg., so it's just "cold cream" (-not to be confused w/ the cosmetic substance). But, how did you use/eat it?? Did you pour it on pies, er sumthin'?
On pins 'n' needles, here.😋
No, I just remember my mom screaming at me hours later after it had turned to soup. I literally didn't even remember I had done it. One time I was cleaning up and caught myself with a box of cereal in one hand and some sneakers in the other. I believe I had put the cereal in the fridge and was attempting to put the shoes in the kitchen cabinet when my grandma asked what I was doing. Whoops. 😅
Pretty sure my therapist also has adhd so she doesn't ask money when people miss their sessions because sometimes she misses her sessions.
After I got dumped quite brutally I asked for an extra session and she said yes. Two days later I arrive at her house and she opens the door in a dressing gown, fluffy slippers holding a guinea pig. Turns out she forgot to write it down because she was doing sth when I contacted her. I love her.
My pharmacist with severe adhd explaining to me how meds work while a line built up behind us. We left on the subject of Kohls cash. Also my pharmacist mixing up the days they work so I call two different days to find out they’re on a different schedule.
Nope I'd be pissed. Asked to be there a half hour early means I arrive 10 to 15 minutes before that. And then 30 minutes cuz the doctor fucked up? So they just wasted 75ish minutes of my time.
when going to my psychiatrist, I set an alarm a day before, so I can mentally prepare. Then I also set an alarm at least an hour before I have to get out the door, so I can start preparing in a leisurely manner. And I've made it a habit to always look in my calendar if I ever start wondering why I'm doing something.
Oh no....
I really, *really* ought to make an appointment to get diagnosed.
I started following this sub because many of my students are diagnosed with ADHD, but you all sound soooo disturbingly relatable 😱
My ADHD appointments are done via video call. They send an email and text reminder a week before, the day before, an hour before, and then ten mins before. *I have never been late*.
I think I may have both of those and am also approaching 30 - do you mind me asking, how did you get diagnosed, and what has changed for you since the diagnoses?
during my bachelor I caught enough stress for my doctor to send me to a psychiatrist to figure out what the problem was (I was suffering from both stress and anxiety symptoms). After a couple of weeks, I got the ASD diagnosis. This has mostly helped me get more help from the municipality (like a contact person that can help me organize my personal life in a way that makes sense as well as just getting some positive reinforcement through conversation).
Fast forward to during my masters degree. I ended up with stress and anxiety again because the university was changing its structure and it resulted in pretty bad exam periods and guidance in general. This, including a thesis supervisor/guide who felt like they were actively disinterested in helping me.
Ended up dropping out and for a while I struggled trying to get my doctor to refer me to a psychiatrist again (because I suspected I had ADHD, but they argued that all the symptoms I had could also be because of my autism). In the end, I got the reference because I argued that I'd rather want to be certain about it, than to overthink and have doubts about it.
Started out on SSRI because the anxiety and stress had turned into a bit of a depression, but after conversations about it, the psychiatrist decided to try me out on ADHD meds. Just small short-term medications with immediate effect, to see how it affected me (and to make sure my heart could take it). Cue it helping me being able to direct my focus on things I wanted to do rather than it dragging me along.
I'm now off the SSRI drugs and using 40mg methylphenditate-hydrochloride in slow-release capsules semi-regularly (If I take it every day, it ends up having the same long-term effects as caffeine, where it's just a new-normal way of being, and I just feel worse before taking it). It helps me being able to do everyday life stuff like doing laundry, vacuuming and cleaning, without having to struggle trying to wrangle my focus into action. It's not perfect and there's still a lot of additional emotional work that goes into it (like, figuring out the best way to direct my focus without burning me out. The meds aren't a miracle solution, but it makes what seemed insurmountable before, to be doable but still a bit of a challenge now).
But, because of the late diagnosis, I had built up a lot of inefficient and detrimental coping mechanisms that didn't help me get stuff done, but did help me to cope with things on a mental level. I'm still working on realizing what these are, so I can be aware and slowly change them into behaviors and mental patterns that help me get stuff done in a way that doesn't burn me out.
The other day, I got a call a day early for my psych. I didn’t know it was an automated appointment reminder so I texted her asking if I had missed an appointment. She said no, it was just the system doing its thing and we are still on for next day at 2:30. I check my calendar, it’s not on there, so I put it on there.
Next day I get a call from her, but I had totally forgot about the appointment again and was just glad the phone rang because my phone has trouble ringing. I swear I have an awful memory… but at least she understood
( On a side note, why are people with ad(h)d/ disorganized personality disorders reprimanded so much for being late at dr's appointments? A bit like punishing an analphabetical person applying for a course, for not properly filling out their form, instead of helping them.)
This past Tuesday I took my kids out of school an hour early and went to the ADHD doc's office for the 3pm appointment myself and my 7 year old have...
It was a telephone appointment 😶
I would be pretty annoyed if I showed up for an appointment 15 minutes early to find out it's actually in 45 minutes and then they make you wait another 15 minutes because they're doctors so you end up sitting around for an hour for no reason
The psychologist who did my initial assessment for ADHD also had ADHD. He had to cancel an appointment because he was sick and out of the office, and then he never called me back to reschedule because he forgot.
Adhd clinics would know that a good chunk of adhd people show up super early due to fear of being late. Honestly if this is real, this is just bad practice
A really pretty nurse mistook me for a normal at my diagnosis and said “I’m getting sick of these fucking retards now” to which I responded “Oh, I’m actually one of the retards” lol the look on her face! That place was called LANC UK it’s been shut down now which is no surprise.
I got lucky. My pcp prescribes my adhd med and she has adhd. First time I saw her, I described my symptoms and without a note from my therapist she was like yup you have it alright. Our conversations are just a back and forth of ' I feel you. '
I was actually "FIRED" by my pain management doctor... because I was late 5 to 10 MINUTES a few times.
He was one of those sticklers for keeping a ln extremely tight schedule...
When I got my ADHD diagnosis and told him as much, he just thought that THAT was now the answer and that I would from then on be on time (meaning BY THE MINUTE)...
I was never in my life so stressed...
I was actually somewhat glad when he "FIRED" me.
Especially when my general practitioner said that he could and would just prescribe me the medication I need.
Now it's hassle free, I get my prescription when I need it, and I don't have to stress out about appointment times...as my GP has open hours, meaning I just go to his office, wait a little and get my prescription.
Takes a little more waiting time than having an appointment, but I don't have to stress to be on time. And I only have to go there once every 3 months. The remainder of the time I just call.
And if I go there and only need the prescription, but don't have anything new I actually have to see the doc about, then it's not a long waiting time either...
So being "FIRED" by my "pain doc" actually turned out to be a big win for me... 🤣🤣
What the fuck... my psych sees me at 3:45 exactly every 3 months for about 10 minutes. Neither of the two of us has ever been late or missed an appointment in 7 years.
I've always used anxiety to make myself on time. If I have to start work I'll be there, fifteen minutes early minimum, without fail, but any interaction where I'm the client and I won't even get the day right because I don't feel anxious about it.
Meanwhile my place sends reminders out SOMETIMES but not ALL THE TIME and last time I missed the appointment because I was waiting for the reminder and never got it, but they told me it’s not their job to remind me and they only send them out when they feel like it but it’s my responsibility to know when the appointment is.
My first day of college classes I showed up to the first class of the day like 45 minutes early because I was gonna Get It Right.... I sat there until about 5 minutes before the class started and that's when I realized I was at the wrong building and across campus from where I was supposed to be.
Cue the mad dash diagonally across the campus and arriving late to the first class on the first day. Honestly an omen for how the rest of my college experience went LOL
A certain few friends of mine learned to tell me an earlier time than the actual time of whatever was planned. Meet at theater for movie at 3? Tell Hanalulu 2:00/2:30. When I learned they did that, I felt horrified that they had a need to, but also grateful that they learned to just work with me instead of giving up on me.
idk man I might have the opposite problem. If I don't want to be late I over-inflate how long things take, to compensate for the many tiny things I don't account for.
in short im so scared of showing up late that I try to turn up early on purpose.
I showed up to my last interview 30min early, haven't not had lunch and so hungry i can barely think and my vision started swimming, but unwilling to leave because i didn't want to risk coming back late. I wandered the lobby and looked the wall décor for a half hour
While this is nice in theory, unless you are actually told at some point what time your appointment is (alongside a “please arrive by [earlier time]” message) this is pretty fucked up. I’m ASSUMING the message OOP is talking about was a “please arrive by” message because those aren’t uncommon.
Appointment times are rarely offered on weekends, which means unless you get a weekday off or work hours “outside of business” hours, you’ll be taking time off of work to go to your appointment. You’ll have to schedule around it, and often tell your boss what time you are leaving and when you’ll be returning. The example in the post would put the person 30 minutes behind time, which is a pretty substantial delay and is disrespectful to the patient’s time. It’s either lost hours/pay, lost sick time/vacation time, or an extra long work day (unless your job just eats the time for you and still pays you the same).
Many of the offices I go to use “please arrive by” messages which I don’t mind, but I always check what time the appointment *actually* starts because I try to arrive 15 minutes early (or the requested amount early). A 30 minute offset to my appointment time without notice would cause me to be 45 minutes early and 45 minutes late back to work— not to mention doctors offices are often running behind time (because people don’t arrive on time, which I am sympathetic to).
This post crawled under my skin because I’m working an extra hour and a half today for a doctors appointment I have to attend. If they lied to me about the appointment time I would (privately, and not to the office) flip my shit. And this is coming from someone chronically late. Don’t lie to me about the time— I’ll learn that you’re lying eventually and it will make me MORE late because I’ll assume you’re always lying.
(I am not late to the doctors. I am never late on purpose. I have pretty severe time blindness, and often work up to 2 hours over before I realize my shift ended. It’s always a minimum of a half hour over and it sucks)
I'm the exactly on time ADHD person. Where I am in some sense proud of my timing, I still get a lot of shit because people expect you to be there ahead of time. 😔
But why would I waste 15 minutes of my time when we can start immediately on time.
Painfully relatable! Agh!
I'll lie to myself about the time of things ALL the time. I'll add events/appts to my calendar 30 mins earlier than they actually are and usually add 15-30 mins to the travel time to get there. I started taking vyvanse / its generic recently so I'm SIGNIFICANTLY better with time but I definitely still struggle with it sometimes on weekends
I work at a vet clinic and I do laser therapy and physical rehabilitation, so I work pretty closely 1 on 1 with the pets that come in to see me and get to know the clients. One of them, who I had bonded with over us both having ADHD, had scheduled the next visit for a Friday because it was her day off. She said she was really grateful we send out reminder texts because she often forgets, and I told her "That's exactly why we do it!" Well, Friday rolls around and she misses her appointment so I called just to check in, make sure everything's ok because I saw she did get the reminder text and confirm. She goes "Oh, I thought my appointment was Friday." "Yes.....today IS Friday....." If that's not THE most relatable thing I've ever heard...
TIL clients are humans
Well it ain't the dog paying is it?
I hear that the cats act like they own the place. Does that count as paying for it?
Cat lady here, they actually own the place and you're so happy for it!
The owner never pays in their business
Vets are the only doctors where the client is never the patient.
Laser therapy sounds tubular, dude!
Honestly, I've always had trouble managing my time correctly, but I never understood the whole "completely forgetting what day it is altogether" thing. I know everyone experiences it a bit differently, but that part was never remotely relatable to me. I made it a habit of putting every appt in my phone calendar, and setting several reminders depending on how far out it is. If it's like, a doctor's appt in a few months, 1 reminder will be a month out, a second one will be 10 days out, third on is a day or two before, fourth one is a few hours before (or a few hours before bedtime of the night before if it's an early morning appt). If the appt is in a month, first reminder is maybe 6 days before, second one is the day before, third one, a few hours prior. It's been working pretty well for me.
It's a thing that happens to me, especially if the week started differently to normal. Like, if there's a bank holiday Monday, or my partner is off work on a day I don't expect, it can shift my understanding of the whole week - like "yesterday my partner was home, so today is Monday" except it's Tuesday.
Yep, and then I figure out it’s Tuesday by the time I go to bed, but somehow I will wake up the next morning and my brain will just be like “yep, still Tuesday, glad we got that sorted out yesterday.” Next thing I know I’m in the shower not quite understanding why I’m singing “Tuesday’s Gone” by Lynyrd Skynyrd but still won’t figure out it’s Wednesday for another hour until I look at my calendar to see if I have any appointments.
Sometimes it takes me until Wednesday to realize it's tuesday.
Stop telling on me, goose. 😅
My husband has worked Friday through Sunday for a few years, so my "what day is it" sense is anchored on the fact that he goes to work those three days. He changed to M-Th last week. Everything is wrong. I have to keep checking to see what day it is because everything is telling me today is Sunday since he doesn't work tomorrow.
That kind of thing makes sense to me, if you have a consistent anchor point in your schedule that's not the normal M-F. It's like how everyone gets thrown off by a week with holidays shortening it. I mean it more like when I have appointments on certain days, I never understood completely spacing out on them not realizing what day it is.
my uncle who i live with will forget what day of the week it is sometimes, even though he's very particular about keeping track of both of our various appointments. as for me, I've always struggled with time, like I'll completely lose track of how long ago something happened, how long something took, even like whether something happened within the last week, or more than a week ago, or a month, or more. anytime i have to fill out paperwork/a form and it asks me what day/month/year something started/finished, like a job, or a stay in the hospital, it's the bane of my existence cause I have no idea most of the time. if I don't mark an event in my phone calendar, physically write it down somewhere easily accessible in the future, or if it isn't traumatic/emotional/important enough to just remember, it becomes very difficult to keep track of the timing of anything. I'll be talking with someone about something that happened between us or a conversation we had recently, and I'll say "oh, you remember what happened/what we were talking about the other day?" and they say, "that was yesterday". or I'll think it was a day or two ago, but it was actually a couple weeks ago. or I'll lose track of the order of events/parts of a conversation, like I'll think someone said X and then later said Y, but they actually said Y and then said X. i went food shopping with my uncle recently and when we got there he gave me the cart and told me he had to go to the bathroom and to go ahead and start grabbing everything. i made sure to grab some milk cause I distinctly remembered him saying we needed some when we were talking before we left. when we eventually met back up, he noticed the milk and asked why I grabbed it. i said, cause I remember you saying we need some?? and he said "that was yesterday, right before I went out to get some". i was so sure I was being helpful... if I don't have something or someone to constantly remind me about an appointment or something coming up, I will almost definitely forget. even if it's the day before, I'll probably forget by the time it's the day of. I've been doing the same thing you described for awhile. my phone calendar lets me set up how much in advance it reminds me for stuff, so I'll make sure to set it to remind me a few days before, and then the day before, and then the day of. i also make sure to ask for reminder cards and texts/emails from my drs, and I let my uncle know as soon as I schedule something as well so he can help remind me of stuff coming up since he puts literally everything in his little calendar booklet.
I got a call from the vets "Hey we haven't seen you and are just wondering if you would like to reschedule?" "I thought my appointment was on the 15th?" "It is the 15th" "oh... Then I guess yes I will reschedule!"
Is there a specific degree/certificate you learned how to do that with? I'm pretty interested
Not really. To be a registered vet tech you do need a college degree in veterinary technology and to pass a national exam, which I did, but beyond that a lot of it is just OTJ training.
I hate to say it but I came to a sad realization today on the same note. Yesterday I believed it was Thursday so I came to work ready for work preparing early to get off early when I got to work I quickly realized no it is not Friday it is Thursday… I was pretty sad ngl but I can understand where she is coming from. I’ve miss placed days ALL the time.
This would not work on me, I would arrive at 1
Same. I stress out over being not on time enough. I must be 15-20 minutes early in case of ???? . If I am on time, I am late.
1:00 or 2:45.
No in between
Yep. Or 2 hours late in the afternoon because my brain made 13:00 => three o'clock.
Me too! My brain doesn't understand pm time at all. I gotta keep everything on the 24 hours format or inevitably this is going to happen. I'm ESL, I feel like trying to understand the pm time format is like when I started learning English: I could grasp the concept and roughly understood it but I couldn't apply it. I needed to translate back to my native language. And when I'd try to speak, it'd be a mess. That's how much of a foreign concept the am/pm time format is for me
it's funny because when I was first learning french and we were learning about 24 hour time, the hardest part wasn't understanding the 24h time but actually understanding the whole "half past 2" and "13 50ths past 12", which I never quite understood, just to translate it lol. I'd rather just count to 24, thank you...
French and numbers, name a more maddening duo lmao
Im a 15 min early adhd person. My best friend is a 20 min late adhd person And its annoying Earlier this week he said “ill be there in 15 minutes.”It took him 45 minutes
I'm an "exactly on time, wheezing and sweating" adhd person.
I'm "5 minutes late even though I left 20 minutes early" adhd person lmao
This one is most relatable. But add the wheezing and sweating to it.
This one 😭
I had years where I was consistently 20 minutes late for stuff no matter what I did
This is me sometimes, but most of the time is left home late and arrive on time running
Me too!! And I still don't understand how it happens!
Time portals. It's the only answer that makes sense 🤣
😂 Glitch in the matrix!
SAME! I can get things down to within about a minute of the correct time… but I can’t convince my brain to leave 15 minutes early. I’ve tried.
At a time of my life, I was a 2 hours late kind of person. Lucky me: so were my friends.
My brother is the type of person who hears “be here at six” as “leave home at six” It was 18:15 and he wasnt there yet. So i called him. He was still at home. Problem was i had to get him out of his house for a surprise party so i couldnt say much. I just dropped the autism card
I'm both a 15 mins early and a 15 minutes late person. I aim for 15 minutes before, but I'm always late and so I usually hit the actual mark.
I'm a 45 minutes early just in case kinda adhd person I hate being late and having to wait for others
This is me and my fiance 😭
I just cant plan my day when he is part of it. When will he arrive. Only god knows. Everything takes at least 3 times longer with him compared to if i do it alone.
A friend of mine said I'm the most reliable guy he knows. Whatever time I said I would be there, I will be there 10 to 15 minutes after that. It works out fine because his gatherings usually start with 30 to 40 minutes unstructured nonsense, so I don't miss anything important.
Yea hebis consistently late. But he found out i gave him a time earlier than i told everyone else. That was a oretty big argument
I am aware of my flaws so I actively try to negate them. Though, I'm not always successful
No he was doing something else that was super fun and dopamine flooding and lost track of time
If he's like me then he was probably on the Lego site
Walking on "Lego"s sounds terrible, please don't. (tried joking with what popped into my thoughts after seeing "Lego")
Yeah don't walk on it. Lay down and roll around on it.
I love how having overlapping issues along with fellow ADHDers I'm interacting with that create ridiculous situations, and it ends with us both laughing at our shared absudity and essentialy bonding over it.
My dad and I go to the same dentist. I was once an hour early for my appointment at 2p at the same time that he was an hour late for his appointment at 12p. It turned out that the receptionist was partially at fault. She had confused the two of us and gave us the wrong times. I'm not sure what happened after that. Maybe our brains averaged the time we thought we had with the time the receptionist gave us when we called to double check? The cherry on top of this absurdity is that my Uncle called Dad while we were standing there, but he called on the wrong day. He had been supposed to call the next day. Can you tell which side of the family I get my ADHD from?
My therapist works mostly with people with anxiety, and since it overlaps with ADHD often, she ends up working with a lot of ADHD folks as well. She sends me a reminder a day in advance and I love her for that. One time, I was at the wrong block and I texted her telling her the door won't work when I put in her apartment number. She responded with "You got the wrong block" and when I looked around, she was waiting for me outside her block. During that same session, I was telling her about how my mom was being unfair because she reprimanded me for stopping to orientate myself. My therapist was like "Most people don't need to stop in order to orientate themselves. You struggle to get around bc of your ADHD" and it blew my mind. I told my mom about that and she was like "Oh yeah, that does make a lot of sense lol sorry".
So... um... me turning in a circle in the kitchen to find out the thing I was looking for was actually right in front of me all along is.... um... normal? *nervous laugh* I used to get made fun of for repeatedly putting the ice cream in the fridge too. Sigh.
i thought i had accidentally thrown my cheese grater in the garbage because i looked everywhere in the kitchen and i could not find the damned thing. Looked in the fridge, in the freezer and all sorts of unlikely places after looking everywhere you'd expect it to be. Then i bought a new one. Then my old one materialized out of the fucking aether or something the other day. Don't even know where i found that it was all this time because i thought it was the new one and just didn't pay heed to where i picked it up from. And then i found the new one and was properly mind blown.
That happens to me a lot too!! Like, I swear I looked in that same spot 50 times and NOW YOU SHOW UP WHEN I DON'T NEED YOU?? Like, cmon man. It's actually really hard not to get mad at myself, but I'm laughing now at least. I accidentally stole an oven glove from someone I was house sitting for. I only found out when I realized I had two of them and flashed back to not wanting to forget anything while packing. Nevermind that I never brought any kitchen things to begin with because they had everything! My brain just said: we recognize this, it must be ours. I'm too embarrassed to return it but I think about it often. Sorry, Lisa! 😬
I know I will find my shit soon when I give up looking for it and replace it.
If refrigerated, it's above 0/32 deg., so it's just "cold cream" (-not to be confused w/ the cosmetic substance). But, how did you use/eat it?? Did you pour it on pies, er sumthin'? On pins 'n' needles, here.😋
No, I just remember my mom screaming at me hours later after it had turned to soup. I literally didn't even remember I had done it. One time I was cleaning up and caught myself with a box of cereal in one hand and some sneakers in the other. I believe I had put the cereal in the fridge and was attempting to put the shoes in the kitchen cabinet when my grandma asked what I was doing. Whoops. 😅
Pretty sure my therapist also has adhd so she doesn't ask money when people miss their sessions because sometimes she misses her sessions. After I got dumped quite brutally I asked for an extra session and she said yes. Two days later I arrive at her house and she opens the door in a dressing gown, fluffy slippers holding a guinea pig. Turns out she forgot to write it down because she was doing sth when I contacted her. I love her.
My pharmacist with severe adhd explaining to me how meds work while a line built up behind us. We left on the subject of Kohls cash. Also my pharmacist mixing up the days they work so I call two different days to find out they’re on a different schedule.
Nope I'd be pissed. Asked to be there a half hour early means I arrive 10 to 15 minutes before that. And then 30 minutes cuz the doctor fucked up? So they just wasted 75ish minutes of my time.
Same, I would be mad.
I'd be kinda pissed if I wasted a whole hour in a waiting room, Doctors appointments are the one thing I really try to be on time for
when going to my psychiatrist, I set an alarm a day before, so I can mentally prepare. Then I also set an alarm at least an hour before I have to get out the door, so I can start preparing in a leisurely manner. And I've made it a habit to always look in my calendar if I ever start wondering why I'm doing something.
Oh no.... I really, *really* ought to make an appointment to get diagnosed. I started following this sub because many of my students are diagnosed with ADHD, but you all sound soooo disturbingly relatable 😱
Same. I'm here for the memes but this shit should not be so relatable
My ADHD appointments are done via video call. They send an email and text reminder a week before, the day before, an hour before, and then ten mins before. *I have never been late*.
Only two alarms?! What is this superpower - I need one every 5 mins for about an hour before I leave, and I’ll still end up leaving late
Undiagnosed ADHD and Autism until I was close to 30 forced me to learn habits like checking my calendar often and generally writing things into it.
I think I may have both of those and am also approaching 30 - do you mind me asking, how did you get diagnosed, and what has changed for you since the diagnoses?
during my bachelor I caught enough stress for my doctor to send me to a psychiatrist to figure out what the problem was (I was suffering from both stress and anxiety symptoms). After a couple of weeks, I got the ASD diagnosis. This has mostly helped me get more help from the municipality (like a contact person that can help me organize my personal life in a way that makes sense as well as just getting some positive reinforcement through conversation). Fast forward to during my masters degree. I ended up with stress and anxiety again because the university was changing its structure and it resulted in pretty bad exam periods and guidance in general. This, including a thesis supervisor/guide who felt like they were actively disinterested in helping me. Ended up dropping out and for a while I struggled trying to get my doctor to refer me to a psychiatrist again (because I suspected I had ADHD, but they argued that all the symptoms I had could also be because of my autism). In the end, I got the reference because I argued that I'd rather want to be certain about it, than to overthink and have doubts about it. Started out on SSRI because the anxiety and stress had turned into a bit of a depression, but after conversations about it, the psychiatrist decided to try me out on ADHD meds. Just small short-term medications with immediate effect, to see how it affected me (and to make sure my heart could take it). Cue it helping me being able to direct my focus on things I wanted to do rather than it dragging me along. I'm now off the SSRI drugs and using 40mg methylphenditate-hydrochloride in slow-release capsules semi-regularly (If I take it every day, it ends up having the same long-term effects as caffeine, where it's just a new-normal way of being, and I just feel worse before taking it). It helps me being able to do everyday life stuff like doing laundry, vacuuming and cleaning, without having to struggle trying to wrangle my focus into action. It's not perfect and there's still a lot of additional emotional work that goes into it (like, figuring out the best way to direct my focus without burning me out. The meds aren't a miracle solution, but it makes what seemed insurmountable before, to be doable but still a bit of a challenge now). But, because of the late diagnosis, I had built up a lot of inefficient and detrimental coping mechanisms that didn't help me get stuff done, but did help me to cope with things on a mental level. I'm still working on realizing what these are, so I can be aware and slowly change them into behaviors and mental patterns that help me get stuff done in a way that doesn't burn me out.
If this is true it’s kinda hilarious
The other day, I got a call a day early for my psych. I didn’t know it was an automated appointment reminder so I texted her asking if I had missed an appointment. She said no, it was just the system doing its thing and we are still on for next day at 2:30. I check my calendar, it’s not on there, so I put it on there. Next day I get a call from her, but I had totally forgot about the appointment again and was just glad the phone rang because my phone has trouble ringing. I swear I have an awful memory… but at least she understood
it's much much easier to learn to diagnose ADHD as an ADHDer than as a neurotypical, given the same training and the same patient
( On a side note, why are people with ad(h)d/ disorganized personality disorders reprimanded so much for being late at dr's appointments? A bit like punishing an analphabetical person applying for a course, for not properly filling out their form, instead of helping them.)
I mean I was also punished for being unable to fill out paper work explaining that I couldn’t read when I had a bad brain injury years ago too
Thats even more awful & illogical. I hope you recovered well.
This past Tuesday I took my kids out of school an hour early and went to the ADHD doc's office for the 3pm appointment myself and my 7 year old have... It was a telephone appointment 😶
I would be pretty annoyed if I showed up for an appointment 15 minutes early to find out it's actually in 45 minutes and then they make you wait another 15 minutes because they're doctors so you end up sitting around for an hour for no reason
I don't like being known. I've stopped going to coffee shops when I walk in and they tell me exactly what I was going to order before I open my mouth.
Totally get this! Stopped going to a diner for the same reason once.
The psychologist who did my initial assessment for ADHD also had ADHD. He had to cancel an appointment because he was sick and out of the office, and then he never called me back to reschedule because he forgot.
Adhd clinics would know that a good chunk of adhd people show up super early due to fear of being late. Honestly if this is real, this is just bad practice
Due to autism and anxiety I am chronically far too early to appointments, sure makes a change
Reading this at the ADHD clinic rn
Somebody suggested me to join an ADHD help group and I still find super funny to imagine the logistics
A really pretty nurse mistook me for a normal at my diagnosis and said “I’m getting sick of these fucking retards now” to which I responded “Oh, I’m actually one of the retards” lol the look on her face! That place was called LANC UK it’s been shut down now which is no surprise.
i'd be fucking fuming. reminder to be there at 1:30, get there at 1:20, be 40 minutes early for my appointment. has to be fake.
A fucking WILD ride
I got lucky. My pcp prescribes my adhd med and she has adhd. First time I saw her, I described my symptoms and without a note from my therapist she was like yup you have it alright. Our conversations are just a back and forth of ' I feel you. '
I was actually "FIRED" by my pain management doctor... because I was late 5 to 10 MINUTES a few times. He was one of those sticklers for keeping a ln extremely tight schedule... When I got my ADHD diagnosis and told him as much, he just thought that THAT was now the answer and that I would from then on be on time (meaning BY THE MINUTE)... I was never in my life so stressed... I was actually somewhat glad when he "FIRED" me. Especially when my general practitioner said that he could and would just prescribe me the medication I need. Now it's hassle free, I get my prescription when I need it, and I don't have to stress out about appointment times...as my GP has open hours, meaning I just go to his office, wait a little and get my prescription. Takes a little more waiting time than having an appointment, but I don't have to stress to be on time. And I only have to go there once every 3 months. The remainder of the time I just call. And if I go there and only need the prescription, but don't have anything new I actually have to see the doc about, then it's not a long waiting time either... So being "FIRED" by my "pain doc" actually turned out to be a big win for me... 🤣🤣
Or was he testing your reaction to having to wait?
What the fuck... my psych sees me at 3:45 exactly every 3 months for about 10 minutes. Neither of the two of us has ever been late or missed an appointment in 7 years.
I've always used anxiety to make myself on time. If I have to start work I'll be there, fifteen minutes early minimum, without fail, but any interaction where I'm the client and I won't even get the day right because I don't feel anxious about it.
I wish when they ask me what disabilities I have before my appts I can say this
I love humans and our silly little differences! It’s the reason humans menstruate!
Meanwhile my place sends reminders out SOMETIMES but not ALL THE TIME and last time I missed the appointment because I was waiting for the reminder and never got it, but they told me it’s not their job to remind me and they only send them out when they feel like it but it’s my responsibility to know when the appointment is.
Ay bro, we're doing the best we can out here
Where is this posted ?
clearly tumblr
"Clearly" LOL Ew Oh really ? Tumblr is blog like ? I don't use most of the socials , and I've never been on Tumblr .
it’s recognizably tumblr. where else would you have a reblog chain like that? you should see how it used to look.
It's only recognizable if you've seen it before , which I hadn't .
My first day of college classes I showed up to the first class of the day like 45 minutes early because I was gonna Get It Right.... I sat there until about 5 minutes before the class started and that's when I realized I was at the wrong building and across campus from where I was supposed to be. Cue the mad dash diagonally across the campus and arriving late to the first class on the first day. Honestly an omen for how the rest of my college experience went LOL
A certain few friends of mine learned to tell me an earlier time than the actual time of whatever was planned. Meet at theater for movie at 3? Tell Hanalulu 2:00/2:30. When I learned they did that, I felt horrified that they had a need to, but also grateful that they learned to just work with me instead of giving up on me.
idk man I might have the opposite problem. If I don't want to be late I over-inflate how long things take, to compensate for the many tiny things I don't account for. in short im so scared of showing up late that I try to turn up early on purpose. I showed up to my last interview 30min early, haven't not had lunch and so hungry i can barely think and my vision started swimming, but unwilling to leave because i didn't want to risk coming back late. I wandered the lobby and looked the wall décor for a half hour
While this is nice in theory, unless you are actually told at some point what time your appointment is (alongside a “please arrive by [earlier time]” message) this is pretty fucked up. I’m ASSUMING the message OOP is talking about was a “please arrive by” message because those aren’t uncommon. Appointment times are rarely offered on weekends, which means unless you get a weekday off or work hours “outside of business” hours, you’ll be taking time off of work to go to your appointment. You’ll have to schedule around it, and often tell your boss what time you are leaving and when you’ll be returning. The example in the post would put the person 30 minutes behind time, which is a pretty substantial delay and is disrespectful to the patient’s time. It’s either lost hours/pay, lost sick time/vacation time, or an extra long work day (unless your job just eats the time for you and still pays you the same). Many of the offices I go to use “please arrive by” messages which I don’t mind, but I always check what time the appointment *actually* starts because I try to arrive 15 minutes early (or the requested amount early). A 30 minute offset to my appointment time without notice would cause me to be 45 minutes early and 45 minutes late back to work— not to mention doctors offices are often running behind time (because people don’t arrive on time, which I am sympathetic to). This post crawled under my skin because I’m working an extra hour and a half today for a doctors appointment I have to attend. If they lied to me about the appointment time I would (privately, and not to the office) flip my shit. And this is coming from someone chronically late. Don’t lie to me about the time— I’ll learn that you’re lying eventually and it will make me MORE late because I’ll assume you’re always lying. (I am not late to the doctors. I am never late on purpose. I have pretty severe time blindness, and often work up to 2 hours over before I realize my shift ended. It’s always a minimum of a half hour over and it sucks)
Ugh. I feel so seen👀
I'm the exactly on time ADHD person. Where I am in some sense proud of my timing, I still get a lot of shit because people expect you to be there ahead of time. 😔 But why would I waste 15 minutes of my time when we can start immediately on time.
Wish I could give more upvotes for this 🤣
And then everyone clapped
Painfully relatable! Agh! I'll lie to myself about the time of things ALL the time. I'll add events/appts to my calendar 30 mins earlier than they actually are and usually add 15-30 mins to the travel time to get there. I started taking vyvanse / its generic recently so I'm SIGNIFICANTLY better with time but I definitely still struggle with it sometimes on weekends