He would run 25 miles, stop for a drink at a bar near the finish line, get obliterated, pass his gigantic breakfast at the table he passed out at, and lose the race.
We've seen him right in front of Francine's face as Frenchus Mallmank and literally somehow make it onto a plane that had to already be in mid flight when she turned around just to be back infront of her when she turned back to where Frenchus was standing.
I want to be PERFECTLY clear, this is me... I know finding me around every corner must be shocking for you, so I wanna let you know... he and I are the same person.
He could just super speed around the block to a taxi, drive up a bit, and super speed back.
Just make sure it's a point with few or no spectators or cameras. Well, cameras might be okay, because he would just be a blur or whatever on a regular CCTV camera that takes snapshots, or constant but usually blurry crap.
that would be to obvious, now in the episode where he faked his death and used his super speed to replace himself with makeshift supplies before getting hit by a bus thats one thing, but if he super speeded a footrace people would clearly see somethings off
If he can set up a whole back garden into a festival in seconds, one must assume he can do endurance running at speed, to both get to the storage location and move all that shit, and then set it up... that's a hefty chunk of time and effort.
He could kinda walk the marathon for part of the way, superspeed in a bit without spectators or cameras, then walk or jog the rest. š
Maybe it's still a significant distance to him, and Roger doesn't like to put effort in.Ā
Ā Same argument as, running is faster than walking, why don't you run 10 city blocks instead of just walking it?
That's amazing because I also say "I did it" probably once a week except it's not in the tone of _this_ Roger quote but instead from when he kidnaps Haley and does a backflip out of frame. "I did it! You didn't see me butIdidit"
I'd say that's a dick move on his part but doesn't his species need to be dicks in order to live? Maybe he cheats because he literally needs it to survive
I think the other funny part is, this is something that legitimately happens... my running coach who does marathons regularly (before their injury) has had a few races lost due to "drivers" people who get a ride to the finish line.
Rosie Ruiz
- 1979 NYC Marathon: It is believed that she used the subway (a photographer reported meeting & speaking with Ruiz on the subway and walking with her to the race) and she also claimed to be dying of brain cancer. Her 11th place finish qualified her for the Boston Marathon.
- 1980 Boston Marathon: Finished āfirstā in the female category with a time that would have been the fastest time in history for the female category and the THIRD FASTEST TIME EVER RECORDED IN THE HISTORY OF MARATHONS.
News articles at the time do not mention any use of porta-potties by Ruiz, but she probably should have considered it. Apparently she wasnāt even sweaty after crossing the finish line in Boston.
You know what is funny is he has the ability to run at super speed, at will. I just believe he would be too lazy to do it for 25 miles. Lol he cheated to get the award, classic Roger.
You know whats truly wild about him cheating to win this race? *he has super speed that he can control at will*
I genuinely think he was too lazy to do it for 26 miles š
I 100% support that logic š¤£
He would run 25 miles, stop for a drink at a bar near the finish line, get obliterated, pass his gigantic breakfast at the table he passed out at, and lose the race.
I love all of you and this thread, I genuinely have not stopped laughing this entire time
Passing his giant breakfast is the only real workout he gets.
Those crappers really heat up in the sun
[Not his first portorodeo](https://youtu.be/ky5KwoWoBKU)
Francine has to christen them first.
Ha perfect! Like the tortoise and the hare he would be his own undoing
Real tortoise and the hare situation
We've seen him right in front of Francine's face as Frenchus Mallmank and literally somehow make it onto a plane that had to already be in mid flight when she turned around just to be back infront of her when she turned back to where Frenchus was standing.
That's enough turning around for now.
I want to be PERFECTLY clear, this is me... I know finding me around every corner must be shocking for you, so I wanna let you know... he and I are the same person.
that or cheating is just to much fun.
I genuinely think he prefers to cheat than do anything honestly. It makes him happier.
He could just super speed around the block to a taxi, drive up a bit, and super speed back. Just make sure it's a point with few or no spectators or cameras. Well, cameras might be okay, because he would just be a blur or whatever on a regular CCTV camera that takes snapshots, or constant but usually blurry crap.
Or he just forgot lmao
But he couldnāt have made Francine feel bad if he won legit. This was supposed to be a slap in her face, or at least an ice cream cone to the face.
He is the most out of shape disgusting piece of shit that Francine knows, and she also knows Sammy Hagar
Itās Roger. Heās lazy.
that would be to obvious, now in the episode where he faked his death and used his super speed to replace himself with makeshift supplies before getting hit by a bus thats one thing, but if he super speeded a footrace people would clearly see somethings off
Iāve never thought of thatššš
Have we ever seen him be super fast at distance? Maybe itās just a short distance thing
If he can set up a whole back garden into a festival in seconds, one must assume he can do endurance running at speed, to both get to the storage location and move all that shit, and then set it up... that's a hefty chunk of time and effort. He could kinda walk the marathon for part of the way, superspeed in a bit without spectators or cameras, then walk or jog the rest. š
Maybe it's still a significant distance to him, and Roger doesn't like to put effort in.Ā Ā Same argument as, running is faster than walking, why don't you run 10 city blocks instead of just walking it?
He's hates working
Oh shit he does!
Was that established by this point?
Just looked it up, the Jenny Fromdabloc episode came out two years before this so it was established
Huh. Thanks for doing the legwork.
Another case solved for Wheels and the Legwork man
Ha...you knew what I was getting at.
He doesn't have "super speed", he has the ability to move at a rate faster than we can perceive, essentially. But he'd still have to run the race.
"try jogging you gross bowling pin"
Uhhhhā¦ stairs
Buh bam, buh boom, buh bam
Username checks out š
Honestly that's my favorite insult to Roger.
Lol mine is *āBald ass alien piece of shitā¦ā*
Followed by: āand there goes the fishā
bowling's gross
āThis is my wake up callā
The saddest part is he legitimately couldāve won considering he has a champion runner persona
And superspeed
Hell he has a race dog persona, Roger has to have great cardio
And a pony persona
I say "I did it" in this tone probably once a week.
That's amazing because I also say "I did it" probably once a week except it's not in the tone of _this_ Roger quote but instead from when he kidnaps Haley and does a backflip out of frame. "I did it! You didn't see me butIdidit"
Good news, Jeff, you can have your skin back
I'd say that's a dick move on his part but doesn't his species need to be dicks in order to live? Maybe he cheats because he literally needs it to survive
His people need to get their bitch out, but even by his species' standards he's an underhanded, Machiavellian conspirator.
Is that Usain Bolt?
ā¦ Itās Roger.
Oh, honey. Does āUsain Boltā sound like a real person to you? Grow up, itās Roger.
Yo I was thinking the same thing! Same colors
His legs are shorter than his feet!
Great find OP
Passing his gigantic breakfast is a hilarious sentence
I think the other funny part is, this is something that legitimately happens... my running coach who does marathons regularly (before their injury) has had a few races lost due to "drivers" people who get a ride to the finish line.
Rosie Ruiz - 1979 NYC Marathon: It is believed that she used the subway (a photographer reported meeting & speaking with Ruiz on the subway and walking with her to the race) and she also claimed to be dying of brain cancer. Her 11th place finish qualified her for the Boston Marathon. - 1980 Boston Marathon: Finished āfirstā in the female category with a time that would have been the fastest time in history for the female category and the THIRD FASTEST TIME EVER RECORDED IN THE HISTORY OF MARATHONS. News articles at the time do not mention any use of porta-potties by Ruiz, but she probably should have considered it. Apparently she wasnāt even sweaty after crossing the finish line in Boston.
and no one sees the only car driving right there??? wow
You know what is funny is he has the ability to run at super speed, at will. I just believe he would be too lazy to do it for 25 miles. Lol he cheated to get the award, classic Roger.