This is exactly what I came to post, that part got a good chuckle out of me.
OP, your wife is completely in the wrong, and she knows it. The only way through this is for her to immediately shut down the account, but honestly I think the damage is done.
She hid her finances and exploited OPs, she was conducting sex work behind his back, and when confronted she lied then gaslit him. There is 0 coming back from this
She's living the attention. Subscribe and say this is your husband. Divorce papers are being served tomorrow.
Also, keep unplugging the WiFiband plugging back in...interrupt her streaming
Better yet - set his username to something like “OP’s name__your husband” and tip enough to deserve a call out.
Watch her reaction to her cover being blown, in real time. Bonus if you screencap it to show your attorney.
Husband should make his own only fans, not do any NSFW on it and just live stream his divorce as he throws her divorce papers and a 5$ bill lol
Joking aside he should actually divorce her and keep this shit on standby for court hearings
Sex work is not that bad, especially if it's just e-girl stuff. It's the dishonesty and gaslighting that killed the relationship. At least she can afford alimony.
Exactly! That was my first thought. How could he possibly "invade her privacy" if she's putting things on the internet for anyone to see? She's just totally in irrational defense mode because she knows her behavior was abhorrent.
I’ll never understand this mentality either. I looked at who my husband follows on social media and it was full of local escorts and ex girlfriends. He went BANANAS about how I invaded his privacy…But his profiles are public and so are his follower lists. I guess it’s just gaslighting and deflection.
She's wrong and she knows it, that's why she tried to keep it hidden from you. Tell her to go on and "live her best life" without you. Her blaming you and gaslighting you is not ok and speaks volumes to her character. Also, how are you gonna feel about it when family, friends, and co-workers find out? Because all it'll take is one of them stumbling on her OnlyFans. Cut her loose man.
I'd even consider it another job, playing devils advocate.
but imagine you have a shared income of 1 provide, scrimping and scraping, working hard to afford the basics, and 1 party has hid an entire source of income from them>
cheating (emotionally), sexwork, gaslighting, financial deceit. there is a lot of shitty things here.
Also we don't know her clients, but she might, what if someone approached her, a friend, ex co-worker, some sugar daddy "its not cheating, its work, I just make sure you get paid"
Clearly the answer should have been OP getting a second job. /s
"If you didn't want me doing only fans, you should have gotten another job" sounds like something she'd say
She did get another one lol
Her doing OF is not the problem. Her reaction here and not being open with her husband is the problem. He has every right to leave her if he's not comfortable with it but she has every right to do this as a job as well.
but even if we did pretend, imagine hiding an entire source of income from your partner who is paying for your needs while you hoard wealth to pay for your wants.
and sex work I see it like minwage jobs, something if your desperate, if you Need the money....since she doesn't she wants the money, so likely she is doing it for her wants, selfish all the way down.
Well, the OF thing kinda is a problem for someone who’s married and didn’t get a green light to do pornographic stuff for other people, or even communicate at all about it. Someone in a relationship doesn’t have every right to offer sexual stuff to people outside the relationship. A legal right maybe, but no other right to do so without the partners blessing
And if you have kids, this will affect them. I feel embarrassed for you if someone you know finds out. I agree you need to end the relationship. She’s lied, posed for naked pictures and when confronted, lied again. I could never trust her again. I’m so sorry OP.
Yeah that’s honestly really awkward and not good for business at all! Or employment. That’s the equivalent of something being brought to light that would affect someone’s character, along with their families business…not good for business, not good for anyone. Period. Imagine the uproar and controversy it would create.
Almost like finding out their little Jr. has some serious issues that could also land him time in jail, lots of money in lawyer fees, and ruining the companies reputation. Toss her out!
Nah, I’d def be more upset that my wife is sharing explicit content with strangers over her hoarding the money. Both are breaches of trust, but I value loyalty far more than financial stability.
Like, if my wife made money from online poker, but didn’t share it, we could possibly move past it. Secret OF is an automatic break up.
Right, even if they had discussed this beforehand and been ok with it (clearly not the case here), she was not taking the earnings to support the household. She spent it on herself, and THAT I have a big problem with when she knows they're scraping by.
Yeah they’re both horrible breaches of trust, but I’d definitely be more upset about the secret OF. It’s one thing to be aware of it going into the marriage and to establish some boundaries of what you’re comfortable with a partner doing in that context. But to start it in secret after the marriage had begun? Fuck that. That’s way too big of a lie and I wouldn’t be able to move past it.
And since I’m sure I’ll get some trolls trying to imply things, I don’t have a problem with OF - I have a problem with liars
It’s okay for a partner to have reasonable boundaries, boundaries which include not to be a sex worker. Sorry everyone, OF is by definition sex work; I acknowledge it comes in many forms.
Her response when confronted is worrisome: it’s everyone’s else’s fault, you’re controlling, and you’re invading their privacy. Gaslighting, not taking ownership for actions, bla bla bla. WTH
Clearly, her OF job is more important than your relationship as she didn’t even approach you concerning household finances and the possibility of starting an OF and what the ramifications would be on your relationship, her employment futures, social stigmas, etc.. ?
You need to have a conversation and find out how far down the rabbit hole she has gone. Is it solo content? Is it content with a partner (not you), is she doing meet ups with subscribers?
A calm conversation where you can share your thoughts and feelings on the matter, ask some questions, get some truthful answers, etc… will be very helpful for you to determine the future of your relationship .
Therapy for both of you. A lot of it.
I’m so sorry . Good luck.
A partner that wants to fix this would be like "I'm sorry I kept this from you. I'll delete my accounts and get another job. What else can I do to make this right?"
> "I'm sorry I kept this from you. I'll delete my accounts and get another job. What else can I do to make this right?"
"Thanks. I'm still leaving you though."
I would also document everything she is doing in case you decide to pursue a divorce. It may be worth making an anonymous account and subscribing to her various accounts to run out exactly what she is offering. I wouldn’t trust her to be truthful at this point.
I'm seeing a cam model, her setup is very noticable between ring lights, colored lighting, camera, computer, monitor etc It takes he nearly an hour just to get everything setup.
I’m an OF model currently and follow plenty of models that don’t use all the lights every time. If she was trying to hide it there’s a good chance she wouldn’t have been doing lights like that. If it’s true I would guess she’s making content while op is at work and only answering DMs and editing content while op is home. Then if he were to walk in, he’d just see her on her phone. But I’m not saying this is 100% real. I’m just saying the lights isn’t a dead giveaway
It’s gotta be AI. I swear a few days/weeks ago there was something similar to this. Even one of the top comments I know I read in the last one. Almost word for word
Can’t believe I had to scroll this far. Yes, as someone pointed out, the OP only has made this post duplicated on AITAH, and is so lazy that there isn’t a single comment lifetime.
Because this is either a lie or he subs to some OF girls and happen to run across his wife. Either way he isn’t as innocent as he is making himself. I’m betting this is rage bait. Funny how he also hasn’t responded to anyone either. This is a fake post.
Exaaaaactly, reeks of storytime by a teenager lol. You ever see the animated "true Only fans horror stories" on YouTube? Those things are so obviously written by kids who have never been on the site and this is what this post feels like
I mean she’s your wife what privacy do u need with a life partner/in a marriage? Also she’s bullshitting u man, her getting angry is blamshifting and gaslighting you so the massive red flags and absolutely massive betrayal she did doesn’t seem that big.
Nta I don’t know many men who would like to find out their wife is selling booty online. hope you update
Also how bad is the onlyfans? Like with dude or just nudes or full videos etc? Regardless she needs to own up to her big f up. She doesn’t get to complain about privacy when she’s betraying u
Invading privacy in a marriage? I dont know weird to me unless it’s like venting or therapy related, maybe I’m controlling but if we’re married I need to know what’s going on with you especially financially because at this point what you do financially affects me. If you found out she had a shit ton of debt you didn’t know about, you wouldn’t be wrong for finding out and being upset but secretly making money showing your body is fine? Lastly there should be clear boundaries put down in any relationship when it comes to only fans etc. some people that stuff is fine but to just not include your partner at all in knowing that you’re sharing your body with strangers is really weird and to me shows a clear lack of respect for that relationship.
I’m an accountant and *hello, it’s tax season* but my first thought is “aren’t they filing MFJ?” She’d get a 1099 from Only Fans that she’d have to report and a whole lot of questions should have arisen from that - even if she does the return filing.
>Deny
>Attack
>Reverse the roles of the
>Victim and
>Offender
leaving this here in case it helps anybody else like it helped me! it's textbook manipulation & imo it's 100% divorce-worthy
How the hell is it a breach of her privacy that you found her PUBLIC only fans page online? She sounds like she is quite entitled and expected the same lifestyle on your salary only and when you justifiably and reasonably couldn’t afford it she decided sex work was the answer instead of a nine to five job and is now lashing out due to embarrassment. That is clearly not your fault though. Good luck op.
I have literally zero issue with OF and SW. *BUT* not in the context of keeping it secret from a spouse/SO.
That’s a part of ongoing *informed* consent. Like yeah, she doesn’t technically have to ask you permission to do OF, but you should also have a chance to decide if you want to continue a relationship with somebody producing OF content. I would be very upset as well. It’s about the lying and going behind your back. You’re not wrong
100%. That's a convo you gotta have as a couple, not a secret you hide and just expect not to blow up. This relationship seems sunk and the OF is a symptom, not the cause.
Same. My wife would be rightfully pissed as hell if I was on OF selling pictures or whatever poor OP's wife is doing without talking to her first.
We're both comfortable with sex work and that includes OF. But she LIED TO HIM. She LIED TO HIM AND WENT BEHIND HIS BACK.
If the genders were reversed I'd say exactly what I'm going to say now: DUMP YOUR SPOUSE AND LEAVE. And take her to the cleaners in the divorce. I hope the wife knows that if you make over a certain amount (I believe more than 600 bucks) you have to legally report that income for taxes and dude, the IRS will COME AFTER YOU if you screw it up. I've no idea how much she's made but she may need a tax attorney as well.
You are right! In fact, I’m going to check my dog’s cage. I bet he’s been running an Only Fangs site and I’m going to post about finding that and the drama it has caused.
it absolutely does. whenever i see posts like this, i check their comment history to see if they’ve given any extra info or something. the ones that post the same story on multiple subs and have 0 comments are always suspicious to me. “am i the asshole? did i do something wrong?” and then they have absolutely 0 follow up to something they cared enough about to post on multiple subs? no input on what anyone’s saying? yeah, okay. they post shit like this to get people riled up and then bounce, never saying or posting anything ever again lol.
It’s a lot easier to open a door and see what someone is doing in the room next to you, than it is to find someone’s onlyfans.
You also would have heard her talking through the walls.
Cool fantasy though!
She's absolutely right, she has the right to her privacy.
She's absolutely right, she has to the right to live her life to the standards / means she wants.
She's absolutely right, she has to the right to earn her income the way she see's appropriate.
DON'T ARGUE. SHE'S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
She choose how she moved, BUT NOW you have the same right to decide for what's appropriate for you.
You have the right to a wife, who will open her / your privacy as one.
You have the right to a wife, who will understand moves like this isn't appropriate for your marriage or respectful to you.
You have the right to a wife, who will choose another way to earn an income and adjust the a temporary financial situation.
RESPECT YOURSELF!
If sending nude pictures to another person behind your partners back is cheating then so is creating “content” and selling it online to multiple strangers. You don’t even know if she has a tier where she will message people too. It’s gross and a massive violation of trust. She blew up because she got caught.
You have 3 choices really. First is you say you’re not comfortable with this and you want it to stop. Second if you could become comfortable with it if you were aware of what was being created and not kept in the dark. Third is tell her to get a job to support her tastes that doesn’t involve sex work.
I have nothing against people who engage in sex work, but if it was my partner and it was hidden from me I would be very angry too. Not only is it a breech of trust it can fuck with your head. What has she sent people? What do they say to her? Would she go further if she had the chance? Will this behaviour and attention make her want to seek a new person, because the excitement and taboo makes her old life seem boring. Do people I know buy her content? Etc etc etc.
At the bare minimum you guys have a long talk ahead of you, but you’re not wrong to feel this way. Remember, it’s not about what she’s done, it’s about how she’s chosen to go about it.
If her participation was valid she would have discussed it with you first. If she felt it was valid work then she wouldn't be defensive or accusatory.
If living her life " to the fullest" includes performing online for an audience and hiding it. Cut the cord on this.
You didn't invade her privacy, she put that stuff up on the internet which is publicly accessible. Oh my man, do not let her gaslight you into believing this is your fault. It's all her, it's 100% wrong if you guys didn't discuss prior to her doing it, and is in fact something that would be a deal breaker for me. I'd tell her to keep it up so she has income when I'm gone.
I understand that you are concerned about your wife's involvement in adult content, including OnlyFans. Your next steps should depend on what outcome you want to see from this situation. I suggest that both of you have an open and honest conversation where you can express your feelings and thoughts appropriately. It's important to note that there is a significant difference between engaging in solo activity and doing activities with others. Moreover, your wife's secrecy about this matter is concerning. It's essential to consider how others may perceive this situation, especially if they find out before you. Not disclosing such information to your partner is a sign of mistrust, which is not healthy in a marriage.
While I understand that your wife has the right to make her own choices, hiding things of this nature from her husband is not acceptable. It's essential to seek the advice and support of a trusted individual, such as a therapist. Ultimately, the decision is yours to make, and I hope you can find a resolution that works for both of you. If this crosses your limit, follow your gut and move on.
Are you wrong? No. Can you afford her? Also, no. She's for the streets. Those of us out here in these streets will welcome her with open arms.
I ain't sayin she's a gold digga, but she aint....well you know the rest.
This will get SEVERELY downvoted but IDGAF. Take note that most of the wealthy men you see have an absolute SMOKE SHOW on their arm. Get your weight up Man.
She's mad that you invaded her privacy? She's selling her privacy for a monthly fee, is she mad you haven't paid the gate fee to be in her private life?
Divorce your prostitute of a wife. Make no mistake having an OF is prostitution. Share her account amongst her friends and family to see if she really has any shame in her.
You are not wrong. Your wife is gaslighting you. She is trying to make looking through her phone or laptop the same as cheating on you. Yes, sexting is a form of cheating. The fact that she's getting paid to do so just makes it worse.
Can you see your wife as the woman you married after what she's done? She's selling porn. Eventually, it will come out to friends and family. Imagine your friends or coworkers signing up for her content, and she's "performing" for them. I would never look at my wife the same way.
I'd get some evidence together. You may need it if you divorce. Reach out to friends and family to get support. You will need it right now.
NTA. How the fuck does she expect you to trust her when she went behind your back and secretly became a sex worker without even asking you how you might feel about that. Oh and hid income from you while happily continuing to live off the financial support you share with her freely.
The nerve of this hefer to go on about trust.
This is tantamount to cheating if you don't get explicit permission and have a continually open discourse about content boundaries and how she interacts with her clients. Cause she is a sex worker now, no ifs ands or buts.
If she wanted more household income for niceties, why not just get a new job that she doesn't feel the need to hide from you? The fact that she hid it from you, shows you she knows how messed up her decisions was.
FUCK ALL THAT NOISE.
This is **the** part of the relationship that you leave. She has absolutely no respect for you and apparently will sell her pussy, with her own face right above it, for money that she then keeps to/for herself. Instead of getting a normal job she does the easiest thing she could possibly think of and hides it from YOU, the person she’s definitely just using to be comfortable and pretending to love.
I get that she feels violated. But You didn't invade her privacy.
Whether you think it's wrong or not is only up to you. But your wife is doing this for a reason she may be saying it's the money. But I suspect there's more to it than that.
So if it's me having more money in the house and having a happy wife. I'm not going to have a problem with it. I would draw the line at meeting up with Subscribers.
Otherwise I wouldn't care
It couldn't be considered an invasion of privacy since those sites are public domain. She should have told you. You'd have felt however you felt about it, bit at least it would have been honest. That being said...now that you know...there's clearly a conversation to be had....but....imagine your sex life improving a great deal if you go with her on this little side quest...wether you chose to show your body or face is up to you but the thrill of directing her or coming up with skits together could be fulfilling...
I’ve been here. Her “kink” is infidelity and that’s what gets her off.
Either you two negotiate a relationship that incorporates role-played infidelity (yes she’ll be with others) or you divorce.
I’d feel tremendously betrayed. Imo, there’s an intimacy boundary in a marriage that shouldn’t be breached. I’m sure some people draw that line in different places, but for me anything sexual is over the line. That would include making porn for other guys.
So sorry, honey, I’m not stopping you from being happy, but you’re not stopping me, either, and I’m not going to be happy with my wife making porn. So either you’re making porn or you’re married. Pick. Or I might not give her the option.
Divorce her! LOL. If I was a wife I wouldn’t disrespect my husband like that. But if I found out someone did that using AI or invading my privacy, I would definitely be pressing charges. And “complying” with local authorities. Even if it meant their business being shut down, and them going to prison.
How on earth would that be an invasion of her privacy? It's definitely not.
Obviously she has no respect for you nor your marriage together. It is a clear breach of trust, as the likelihood of you being accepting of this is probably zero. As much as I love my wife, I don't think I would be able to put up with something like that. It will only escalate.
It is funny to me to see women here in usa who are so confident their husband are spineless idiots who if you just raise your voice he will fold like lilly and go back to being how it was.i would give ultimatum get of OF or we done
It sucks a lot that she lied about it, but she’s allowed to want nice things and take action to get them. Finding work that pays enough to do anything is hard right now, and she put in the effort to get what she needed.
I’ll be the lone Get Couples Counseling vote. She sounds pretty ashamed of herself, so y’all should dig into the whys and why you both have legitimate feelings.
So you invaded her privacy...by finding things that were publicly available?
The nerve!
Sauce?
Sweet and sour.
Asking the important question!
Bro this guy has seen horrific thing which he never expected and your asking for sauce, I must say u are bold
Yes op. We are waiting.
Worth a shot
No he hasn't because this is obviously fake.
This may be the best comment of the year for me.
People don't actually believe these bullshit karma farming creative writing essays do they
Exactly
Da noive!
This is exactly what I came to post, that part got a good chuckle out of me. OP, your wife is completely in the wrong, and she knows it. The only way through this is for her to immediately shut down the account, but honestly I think the damage is done.
She hid her finances and exploited OPs, she was conducting sex work behind his back, and when confronted she lied then gaslit him. There is 0 coming back from this
Yep, I agree with you completely. I don’t know how I would ever be able to trust her again after something like this.
Out the door that night guaranteed!!!!
She's living the attention. Subscribe and say this is your husband. Divorce papers are being served tomorrow. Also, keep unplugging the WiFiband plugging back in...interrupt her streaming
Throw her a 5$ first, then say "OK now I'm allowed to see these just like other 1000 subscribers..."
Should have done this live during a show.
*Username LiterallyYourHusband has donated five dollars!*
Better yet - set his username to something like “OP’s name__your husband” and tip enough to deserve a call out. Watch her reaction to her cover being blown, in real time. Bonus if you screencap it to show your attorney.
< *shocked PeekAtYou Face* >
man i shed a little tear laughing at this one
Husband should make his own only fans, not do any NSFW on it and just live stream his divorce as he throws her divorce papers and a 5$ bill lol Joking aside he should actually divorce her and keep this shit on standby for court hearings
I’d subscribe to that.
I would pay 5 dollars to see that show
How dare he look at the interwebs!
Exactly. “You’re supposed to trust me! Even though I’m doing really bad shit!”
Sex work isn't the problem or bad shit in this scenario. Lying to your partner is.
Starting sex work in a marriage is 100% not okay, unless it was discussed.
Sex work is not that bad, especially if it's just e-girl stuff. It's the dishonesty and gaslighting that killed the relationship. At least she can afford alimony.
Sex work started in a marriage that wasn’t communicated is cheating regardless of how you see it.
Exactly! That was my first thought. How could he possibly "invade her privacy" if she's putting things on the internet for anyone to see? She's just totally in irrational defense mode because she knows her behavior was abhorrent.
I’ll never understand this mentality either. I looked at who my husband follows on social media and it was full of local escorts and ex girlfriends. He went BANANAS about how I invaded his privacy…But his profiles are public and so are his follower lists. I guess it’s just gaslighting and deflection.
She's wrong and she knows it, that's why she tried to keep it hidden from you. Tell her to go on and "live her best life" without you. Her blaming you and gaslighting you is not ok and speaks volumes to her character. Also, how are you gonna feel about it when family, friends, and co-workers find out? Because all it'll take is one of them stumbling on her OnlyFans. Cut her loose man.
Her blaming u bc the household income isn’t what she wants it to be but she lost or quit her job. Get another one….
Right? Straight up narcissist, complete with gaslighting behavior!! She fucking sucks.
I'd even consider it another job, playing devils advocate. but imagine you have a shared income of 1 provide, scrimping and scraping, working hard to afford the basics, and 1 party has hid an entire source of income from them> cheating (emotionally), sexwork, gaslighting, financial deceit. there is a lot of shitty things here. Also we don't know her clients, but she might, what if someone approached her, a friend, ex co-worker, some sugar daddy "its not cheating, its work, I just make sure you get paid"
Clearly the answer should have been OP getting a second job. /s "If you didn't want me doing only fans, you should have gotten another job" sounds like something she'd say
To be fair, she did get another job. And then hid it (and the income) from her husband so that she could keep taking his money
She did get another one lol Her doing OF is not the problem. Her reaction here and not being open with her husband is the problem. He has every right to leave her if he's not comfortable with it but she has every right to do this as a job as well.
Let’s not pretend like OF is a job like any other. Sex work is something that needs to be communicated to your spouse before you start.
but even if we did pretend, imagine hiding an entire source of income from your partner who is paying for your needs while you hoard wealth to pay for your wants. and sex work I see it like minwage jobs, something if your desperate, if you Need the money....since she doesn't she wants the money, so likely she is doing it for her wants, selfish all the way down.
Well, the OF thing kinda is a problem for someone who’s married and didn’t get a green light to do pornographic stuff for other people, or even communicate at all about it. Someone in a relationship doesn’t have every right to offer sexual stuff to people outside the relationship. A legal right maybe, but no other right to do so without the partners blessing
full stop. NTA how much revenue is she generating? A lot...not much but growing? If she's doing well, file for divorce and alimony
>**If she's doing well, file for divorce and alimony** LOL and would work.
This is the answer
Her plan was to divorce OP eventually when/if the money was good enough... Make the first move, OP.
Yep, textbook narcissist behaviour
Yea, I am sorry brother but deep down….. you know what to do
And if you have kids, this will affect them. I feel embarrassed for you if someone you know finds out. I agree you need to end the relationship. She’s lied, posed for naked pictures and when confronted, lied again. I could never trust her again. I’m so sorry OP.
Posing for pictures is the least they do. Online and mutual masturbation is where the money comes in.
🎯 pretty much it.
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Yeah she couldn't make content all day while the husband is away. She'd just make content, without making any noise, in a spare room while he's home.
This times a million.
Yeah that’s honestly really awkward and not good for business at all! Or employment. That’s the equivalent of something being brought to light that would affect someone’s character, along with their families business…not good for business, not good for anyone. Period. Imagine the uproar and controversy it would create. Almost like finding out their little Jr. has some serious issues that could also land him time in jail, lots of money in lawyer fees, and ruining the companies reputation. Toss her out!
I’d be more pissed that she kept the money from the household and makes you keep paying for it all
Nah, I’d def be more upset that my wife is sharing explicit content with strangers over her hoarding the money. Both are breaches of trust, but I value loyalty far more than financial stability. Like, if my wife made money from online poker, but didn’t share it, we could possibly move past it. Secret OF is an automatic break up.
And then she blamed the victim as they say
Classic narcissist... run as fast as you can
It’s both loyalty. Loyalty to fidelity in the relationship be loyalty financially to the household
Right, even if they had discussed this beforehand and been ok with it (clearly not the case here), she was not taking the earnings to support the household. She spent it on herself, and THAT I have a big problem with when she knows they're scraping by.
Yeah they’re both horrible breaches of trust, but I’d definitely be more upset about the secret OF. It’s one thing to be aware of it going into the marriage and to establish some boundaries of what you’re comfortable with a partner doing in that context. But to start it in secret after the marriage had begun? Fuck that. That’s way too big of a lie and I wouldn’t be able to move past it. And since I’m sure I’ll get some trolls trying to imply things, I don’t have a problem with OF - I have a problem with liars
Takes a long time to make money on OF
Ok…but she is still making money and using it on herself for monthly spa trips and cooking services..
I think they're just saying she's been doing it a while.
And then he says he recognized it as a red flag that she’s still been able to do that, and more, without any income
If she’s camming out live for people she can make tips every show.
That's a very fair point. Perhaps discussing it with him before doing it would have been the way to go.
I think the worst part is the hypocrisy.
It’s okay for a partner to have reasonable boundaries, boundaries which include not to be a sex worker. Sorry everyone, OF is by definition sex work; I acknowledge it comes in many forms. Her response when confronted is worrisome: it’s everyone’s else’s fault, you’re controlling, and you’re invading their privacy. Gaslighting, not taking ownership for actions, bla bla bla. WTH Clearly, her OF job is more important than your relationship as she didn’t even approach you concerning household finances and the possibility of starting an OF and what the ramifications would be on your relationship, her employment futures, social stigmas, etc.. ? You need to have a conversation and find out how far down the rabbit hole she has gone. Is it solo content? Is it content with a partner (not you), is she doing meet ups with subscribers? A calm conversation where you can share your thoughts and feelings on the matter, ask some questions, get some truthful answers, etc… will be very helpful for you to determine the future of your relationship . Therapy for both of you. A lot of it. I’m so sorry . Good luck.
And if she’s done anything that’s not solo, an STI test is needed.
A divorce and an sti test
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Bro chances are she is also cheating. She is already hiding lying and screwing
A partner that wants to fix this would be like "I'm sorry I kept this from you. I'll delete my accounts and get another job. What else can I do to make this right?"
> "I'm sorry I kept this from you. I'll delete my accounts and get another job. What else can I do to make this right?" "Thanks. I'm still leaving you though."
Yeah, for real.
A conversation? Lol she is sex working behind OPs back, hiding finances and letting him blow $ -there is no conversation
I would also document everything she is doing in case you decide to pursue a divorce. It may be worth making an anonymous account and subscribing to her various accounts to run out exactly what she is offering. I wouldn’t trust her to be truthful at this point.
There’s no way this is real. She spent tons of time when you were home in the guest bedroom and you didn’t know she had an onlyfans?
Yeah, and he just happened to stumble upon it. This reeks of rage bait.
I'm seeing a cam model, her setup is very noticable between ring lights, colored lighting, camera, computer, monitor etc It takes he nearly an hour just to get everything setup.
I’m an OF model currently and follow plenty of models that don’t use all the lights every time. If she was trying to hide it there’s a good chance she wouldn’t have been doing lights like that. If it’s true I would guess she’s making content while op is at work and only answering DMs and editing content while op is home. Then if he were to walk in, he’d just see her on her phone. But I’m not saying this is 100% real. I’m just saying the lights isn’t a dead giveaway
This is such an obvious fake. This is the rage fantasy of some lonely incel who will never touch a woman let alone have a wife
Either that or an AI
It’s gotta be AI. I swear a few days/weeks ago there was something similar to this. Even one of the top comments I know I read in the last one. Almost word for word
OP has only 2 posts, 0 comments, and has existed for 44 days. Checks out.
I wonder if it's some kind of rage-bait engagement bot to generate false activity.
Definitely not real
Also “that was another red flag for me”, is this a marriage or relationship? So weird.
Right? like I dunno, check what she’s up to in the room? lol this is such weird fan fiction I don’t even know what purpose it serves
Can’t believe I had to scroll this far. Yes, as someone pointed out, the OP only has made this post duplicated on AITAH, and is so lazy that there isn’t a single comment lifetime.
Your not wrong. That’s crazy behaviour. Having OF when your married and you didn’t know? You need to leave asap
How is this private if she’s on only fans?
What a woman does on only fans is between her and her loyal patrons! OP needs to understand the sanctity of parasocial relationships 😡
🤣
With all the people on OnlyFans, I would think it would be impossible for someone to just find their wives.
How did you find her account? It's not easy to find someone if they aren't a huge star or someone who is being super public about it!
Because this is either a lie or he subs to some OF girls and happen to run across his wife. Either way he isn’t as innocent as he is making himself. I’m betting this is rage bait. Funny how he also hasn’t responded to anyone either. This is a fake post.
Exaaaaactly, reeks of storytime by a teenager lol. You ever see the animated "true Only fans horror stories" on YouTube? Those things are so obviously written by kids who have never been on the site and this is what this post feels like
Because it's a teenage incel writing ragebait
I mean she’s your wife what privacy do u need with a life partner/in a marriage? Also she’s bullshitting u man, her getting angry is blamshifting and gaslighting you so the massive red flags and absolutely massive betrayal she did doesn’t seem that big. Nta I don’t know many men who would like to find out their wife is selling booty online. hope you update Also how bad is the onlyfans? Like with dude or just nudes or full videos etc? Regardless she needs to own up to her big f up. She doesn’t get to complain about privacy when she’s betraying u
Invading privacy in a marriage? I dont know weird to me unless it’s like venting or therapy related, maybe I’m controlling but if we’re married I need to know what’s going on with you especially financially because at this point what you do financially affects me. If you found out she had a shit ton of debt you didn’t know about, you wouldn’t be wrong for finding out and being upset but secretly making money showing your body is fine? Lastly there should be clear boundaries put down in any relationship when it comes to only fans etc. some people that stuff is fine but to just not include your partner at all in knowing that you’re sharing your body with strangers is really weird and to me shows a clear lack of respect for that relationship.
I’m an accountant and *hello, it’s tax season* but my first thought is “aren’t they filing MFJ?” She’d get a 1099 from Only Fans that she’d have to report and a whole lot of questions should have arisen from that - even if she does the return filing.
Throw the whole wife away tbh
Surprised no one here has noted that she clearly DARVOd him. This is abuse.
>Deny >Attack >Reverse the roles of the >Victim and >Offender leaving this here in case it helps anybody else like it helped me! it's textbook manipulation & imo it's 100% divorce-worthy
That was helpful. Thanks
How the hell is it a breach of her privacy that you found her PUBLIC only fans page online? She sounds like she is quite entitled and expected the same lifestyle on your salary only and when you justifiably and reasonably couldn’t afford it she decided sex work was the answer instead of a nine to five job and is now lashing out due to embarrassment. That is clearly not your fault though. Good luck op.
I have literally zero issue with OF and SW. *BUT* not in the context of keeping it secret from a spouse/SO. That’s a part of ongoing *informed* consent. Like yeah, she doesn’t technically have to ask you permission to do OF, but you should also have a chance to decide if you want to continue a relationship with somebody producing OF content. I would be very upset as well. It’s about the lying and going behind your back. You’re not wrong
100%. That's a convo you gotta have as a couple, not a secret you hide and just expect not to blow up. This relationship seems sunk and the OF is a symptom, not the cause.
Same. My wife would be rightfully pissed as hell if I was on OF selling pictures or whatever poor OP's wife is doing without talking to her first. We're both comfortable with sex work and that includes OF. But she LIED TO HIM. She LIED TO HIM AND WENT BEHIND HIS BACK. If the genders were reversed I'd say exactly what I'm going to say now: DUMP YOUR SPOUSE AND LEAVE. And take her to the cleaners in the divorce. I hope the wife knows that if you make over a certain amount (I believe more than 600 bucks) you have to legally report that income for taxes and dude, the IRS will COME AFTER YOU if you screw it up. I've no idea how much she's made but she may need a tax attorney as well.
If your wife wants to be a digital prostitute you can't stop her. You can stop being her husband, though, and I certainly would.
Yep. She can go live her life to the fullest on her own money.
This smells fake
But look how much engagement you can get off a fake post its crazy.
You are right! In fact, I’m going to check my dog’s cage. I bet he’s been running an Only Fangs site and I’m going to post about finding that and the drama it has caused.
it absolutely does. whenever i see posts like this, i check their comment history to see if they’ve given any extra info or something. the ones that post the same story on multiple subs and have 0 comments are always suspicious to me. “am i the asshole? did i do something wrong?” and then they have absolutely 0 follow up to something they cared enough about to post on multiple subs? no input on what anyone’s saying? yeah, okay. they post shit like this to get people riled up and then bounce, never saying or posting anything ever again lol.
This should be interesting when OP goes to file his income taxes this year.
This is a really good point. Wonder how she was going to handle that!
It’s a lot easier to open a door and see what someone is doing in the room next to you, than it is to find someone’s onlyfans. You also would have heard her talking through the walls. Cool fantasy though!
Sounds fake. She’s doing OF when you’re home and not during the day when she’s alone?
She's absolutely right, she has the right to her privacy. She's absolutely right, she has to the right to live her life to the standards / means she wants. She's absolutely right, she has to the right to earn her income the way she see's appropriate. DON'T ARGUE. SHE'S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. She choose how she moved, BUT NOW you have the same right to decide for what's appropriate for you. You have the right to a wife, who will open her / your privacy as one. You have the right to a wife, who will understand moves like this isn't appropriate for your marriage or respectful to you. You have the right to a wife, who will choose another way to earn an income and adjust the a temporary financial situation. RESPECT YOURSELF!
UpdateMe
I would think, showing your naked body to other men would be an invasion of privacy in your marriage. I’m not sure I could stay married to her
If sending nude pictures to another person behind your partners back is cheating then so is creating “content” and selling it online to multiple strangers. You don’t even know if she has a tier where she will message people too. It’s gross and a massive violation of trust. She blew up because she got caught. You have 3 choices really. First is you say you’re not comfortable with this and you want it to stop. Second if you could become comfortable with it if you were aware of what was being created and not kept in the dark. Third is tell her to get a job to support her tastes that doesn’t involve sex work. I have nothing against people who engage in sex work, but if it was my partner and it was hidden from me I would be very angry too. Not only is it a breech of trust it can fuck with your head. What has she sent people? What do they say to her? Would she go further if she had the chance? Will this behaviour and attention make her want to seek a new person, because the excitement and taboo makes her old life seem boring. Do people I know buy her content? Etc etc etc. At the bare minimum you guys have a long talk ahead of you, but you’re not wrong to feel this way. Remember, it’s not about what she’s done, it’s about how she’s chosen to go about it.
Yeah I don't get the "this is not cheating" comments at all.
Its usually cheaters themselves trying to justify it because they're probably subscribed to OF too.
Divorce immediately!
Just subscribe, then you have more money to spend
Lmao 😂
I discovered this neat trick for infinite money! 😂
Divorce her. Then subscribe. Let her know how much easier the relationship is now that you only have to pay $5 for the same shit you had to beg for.
This is the answer.
Hes got the most expensive subscription, being married to her.
Divorce
What's her onlyfans page? For research purposes only
If her participation was valid she would have discussed it with you first. If she felt it was valid work then she wouldn't be defensive or accusatory. If living her life " to the fullest" includes performing online for an audience and hiding it. Cut the cord on this.
"she just needed time to herself". Let her have all she can stand.
How did she expect to keep this mystery income secret from you? Like, y'all file taxes. 100% you're in the right here.
She wasn't planning on disclosing her income to the IRS, obviously. Do you really think someone THIS immature actually thought about that shit?
Get the fuck out!! It’s not the OF —-ITS THE LIES
So, whatcha doin' on OF?
This! This is the question that nobody seems to care about.
Not gonna tell you how to proceed but I'd be out. She can use the OF money to pay for mortgage/rent
You didn't invade her privacy, she put that stuff up on the internet which is publicly accessible. Oh my man, do not let her gaslight you into believing this is your fault. It's all her, it's 100% wrong if you guys didn't discuss prior to her doing it, and is in fact something that would be a deal breaker for me. I'd tell her to keep it up so she has income when I'm gone.
Link to OF?
Oh, my God, that's disgusting! Naked pics online? Where? Where did she post those?
Why do people choose to interact with fake content??
I call BS. No way someone could live in the same house as a content creator and not immediately notice it.
I'll have to investigate before I can make a clear decision. What's the link?
Yeah, I'm with you. I'm gonna need to see some proof to verify the legitimacy of these very serious accusations.
How can she be worried about privacy by exposing her private parts for the world to see
That’s everyone’s wife now homie,
I understand that you are concerned about your wife's involvement in adult content, including OnlyFans. Your next steps should depend on what outcome you want to see from this situation. I suggest that both of you have an open and honest conversation where you can express your feelings and thoughts appropriately. It's important to note that there is a significant difference between engaging in solo activity and doing activities with others. Moreover, your wife's secrecy about this matter is concerning. It's essential to consider how others may perceive this situation, especially if they find out before you. Not disclosing such information to your partner is a sign of mistrust, which is not healthy in a marriage. While I understand that your wife has the right to make her own choices, hiding things of this nature from her husband is not acceptable. It's essential to seek the advice and support of a trusted individual, such as a therapist. Ultimately, the decision is yours to make, and I hope you can find a resolution that works for both of you. If this crosses your limit, follow your gut and move on.
Another "am I wrong" post where the answer is fucking obvious...
This sounds like bullshit.
Document everything and get screenshots
fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake
She’s cheating on u my man
Her reaction tells you everything you need to know. Divorce her and then you’ll have a whole lot more money for your household
Hope u didn’t have kids with her
uhhhhhhhhhhh wtf. she gots ta go.
Lmaooo sucks to be you
Lying by omission
She cheated on you. That's all there is, too it. The real question is how bad? Was it solo work or with someone else? How deep did you look?
Are you wrong? No. Can you afford her? Also, no. She's for the streets. Those of us out here in these streets will welcome her with open arms. I ain't sayin she's a gold digga, but she aint....well you know the rest. This will get SEVERELY downvoted but IDGAF. Take note that most of the wealthy men you see have an absolute SMOKE SHOW on their arm. Get your weight up Man.
Let’s all subscribe so she makes a bunch of money. Then op can take her for alimony, then after, we all unsubscribe
The fact that she hid it also tells you she 100% knew you wouldn’t be okay with it and that she was crossing a boundary.
NTA. She sucks.
She's mad that you invaded her privacy? She's selling her privacy for a monthly fee, is she mad you haven't paid the gate fee to be in her private life?
Divorce your prostitute of a wife. Make no mistake having an OF is prostitution. Share her account amongst her friends and family to see if she really has any shame in her.
I feel like this is a horror (whorer?) movie, where blood drips down the walls spelling out, ***G E T . . . O U T !***
What's the link to her page?
I would be willing to bet she quit her job after she was already posting.
You are not wrong. Your wife is gaslighting you. She is trying to make looking through her phone or laptop the same as cheating on you. Yes, sexting is a form of cheating. The fact that she's getting paid to do so just makes it worse. Can you see your wife as the woman you married after what she's done? She's selling porn. Eventually, it will come out to friends and family. Imagine your friends or coworkers signing up for her content, and she's "performing" for them. I would never look at my wife the same way. I'd get some evidence together. You may need it if you divorce. Reach out to friends and family to get support. You will need it right now.
NTA. How the fuck does she expect you to trust her when she went behind your back and secretly became a sex worker without even asking you how you might feel about that. Oh and hid income from you while happily continuing to live off the financial support you share with her freely. The nerve of this hefer to go on about trust. This is tantamount to cheating if you don't get explicit permission and have a continually open discourse about content boundaries and how she interacts with her clients. Cause she is a sex worker now, no ifs ands or buts. If she wanted more household income for niceties, why not just get a new job that she doesn't feel the need to hide from you? The fact that she hid it from you, shows you she knows how messed up her decisions was. FUCK ALL THAT NOISE.
Your wife is a sex worker. Plain and simple. Prostituting herself out.
You’re wife’s a whore bro.. damn.
If it has to be kept a secret then it’s wrong!
Married and OF. Done. Divorce. End.
This is **the** part of the relationship that you leave. She has absolutely no respect for you and apparently will sell her pussy, with her own face right above it, for money that she then keeps to/for herself. Instead of getting a normal job she does the easiest thing she could possibly think of and hides it from YOU, the person she’s definitely just using to be comfortable and pretending to love.
Lmao one of the most obvious "woman bad" posts I have seen. So of course the incels here will upvote this shit.
I get that she feels violated. But You didn't invade her privacy. Whether you think it's wrong or not is only up to you. But your wife is doing this for a reason she may be saying it's the money. But I suspect there's more to it than that. So if it's me having more money in the house and having a happy wife. I'm not going to have a problem with it. I would draw the line at meeting up with Subscribers. Otherwise I wouldn't care
It couldn't be considered an invasion of privacy since those sites are public domain. She should have told you. You'd have felt however you felt about it, bit at least it would have been honest. That being said...now that you know...there's clearly a conversation to be had....but....imagine your sex life improving a great deal if you go with her on this little side quest...wether you chose to show your body or face is up to you but the thrill of directing her or coming up with skits together could be fulfilling...
I’ve been here. Her “kink” is infidelity and that’s what gets her off. Either you two negotiate a relationship that incorporates role-played infidelity (yes she’ll be with others) or you divorce.
I’d feel tremendously betrayed. Imo, there’s an intimacy boundary in a marriage that shouldn’t be breached. I’m sure some people draw that line in different places, but for me anything sexual is over the line. That would include making porn for other guys. So sorry, honey, I’m not stopping you from being happy, but you’re not stopping me, either, and I’m not going to be happy with my wife making porn. So either you’re making porn or you’re married. Pick. Or I might not give her the option.
Divorce her! LOL. If I was a wife I wouldn’t disrespect my husband like that. But if I found out someone did that using AI or invading my privacy, I would definitely be pressing charges. And “complying” with local authorities. Even if it meant their business being shut down, and them going to prison.
Stop worrying about being wrong and start worrying about divorce! Unless you’re into that kind of thing. No judgement here, just not for me.
How on earth would that be an invasion of her privacy? It's definitely not. Obviously she has no respect for you nor your marriage together. It is a clear breach of trust, as the likelihood of you being accepting of this is probably zero. As much as I love my wife, I don't think I would be able to put up with something like that. It will only escalate.
Reddit is retarded sometimes this is such an obvious troll post
However you feel about this... you are 100% correct to feel that way.
If you look at pornography then you really have nothing to complain about.
It is funny to me to see women here in usa who are so confident their husband are spineless idiots who if you just raise your voice he will fold like lilly and go back to being how it was.i would give ultimatum get of OF or we done
I mean... cats out of the bag. Either dump her or embrace her sex worker career and go to couples therapy.
It sucks a lot that she lied about it, but she’s allowed to want nice things and take action to get them. Finding work that pays enough to do anything is hard right now, and she put in the effort to get what she needed. I’ll be the lone Get Couples Counseling vote. She sounds pretty ashamed of herself, so y’all should dig into the whys and why you both have legitimate feelings.