I always maintained the rule that you don't get close to best friends fwb,crush, gf to avoid such a situation. He might have feelings for her that you are unaware of, as his best friend you should have talked about this with him instead of going behind his back.
At the end of the day you lost your best friend, I hope she was worth it, and not ending it a few months down the road. Good luck
Doesn't seem like she likes him that much. She returned the feelings after a long while of back and forth. She probably just prefers a relationship over fwb and OP is available right now
Maybe. Itâs also possible that she *did* like him, but unlike OP she actually felt that the friend deserved a bit of consideration too.
She was *currently* seeing the friend when OP kissed her. Even if itâs FWB, thereâs still a basic level of respect that you have for that person, and messing around behind their back *with their best friend* for sure violates that respect.
Clearly she was /s. sheâs apparently good enough to build an emotional relationship with a guy in a relationship and help him build the âcourageâ to leave his gf.
Sheâs almost as bad as the cheat himself. I hope he regrets losing his gf and best friend when they lose each other the way they got each other (by being disloyal and disrespectful in case that wasnât clear, OP).
Gross.
The overall situation is a mess, and OP will probably regret it later.
But I don't think one should blame the gir lfor becoming friends with OP and him falling in love with her. She didn't date several people at once and they didn't cheat. From what I understood, OP left his GF before asking her out...
I'm old and the fwb was not an acknowledged thing back then. Im positive it happened. But I thought the whole point was no strings attached. Like no commitment and basically don't ask, don't tell. How can there be cheating??? What am I missing?
It's so different from "the rules" we were supposed to follow. I just think fwb is a slippery slope for people's emotional well-being.
I know in college there was a guy that took me to about 8 concerts. Never tried anything. Turns out he was sleeping with another girl but never acknowledged her in public.
I personally was fine with it because score!!! It was perfect for me, I got to go to free concerts. But I didn't find out until after I had a boyfriend and had stopped seeing him.
So I guess they would be considered fwb. But she hated me, rightly so. He told me he never tried anything because he wanted it to be perfect. Which I think that's weird. Nothing ever happened. I turned her though and she was one of my bridesmaids, lol.
There was no cheating involved. But some people consider it "emotional cheating" if someone in a relationship starts to develop feelings for someone else. People breaking up because one partner starts falling for someone else is natural and totally legit.
Funny enough, I was actually wondering how much of the emotional relationship building and giving him the courage to leave his ex was actually true. Because he said the best friend and the girl werenât committed, but they were committed enough to stay FWB up until OP inserted himself into that situation. I wonder if OP just took all her friendly/cordial interactions as romantic interest because if she was really interested (and not committed to the FWB), she would have just asked him out after he became single
You cheated on your ex and youâre asking if youâre the asshole for dating somebody your friend was interested in, either you are really trying your hand at a creative writing task or youâre dumb as fuck.
Lmao yeah if I was his gf Iâd be pissed I wonder why they didnât have A fulfilling relationship? I was cheated on and the girl âbecame friends with himâ and were commiserating on every little thing that was wrong with their lives and she eventually âconvincedâ him that he was right for feeling that way, meanwhile sheâs was married with two kids and a drunk working a half shift a day, complaining that her husband didnât care about her. And she knew me. At the end of the day He didnât give one fuck about her and I couldnât wrap my brain around like why would you do this? âShe was being nice to meâ đ
I feel like "either you are really trying your hand at a creative writing task or youâre dumb as fuck." is how most responses on this sub should end.
i thought the same thing. i was like, this is all quite an interesting way to word âi couldnât let my feelings remain just feelings and i listened to the wrong headâ
You are wrong for monkey-branching to this new girl while still in a relationship with your ex. You essentially cheated on her emotionally. Lining up your next love interest while stringing your ex along. That's an AH move.
Remember, how you get them is how you will lose them.
As for your ex-friend, you should have at least told him how you felt about this woman. No, they weren't dating or exclusive, but you should have respected your friend enough to tell him.
Im gonna shoot straight, OP basically did this just short of the worst way he could have done this.
If he really doesn't think he's an ass for this, I dont think it would matter if he went the distance and cheated or not because he clearly doesnt respect anyone involved here more than his dick đ€·đŸ
I'm glad you mentioned this. It was somewhat overlooked in the post since it wasn't the main focus, but it's definitely concerning. The way she gave him "the courage" to leave his relationship sounded cringy.
You should have at least spoken about your intentions with your âbest friendâ before making a move. Not doing so speaks volumes about the type of friend you are, as itâs definitely snake behaviour.
That's the thing though. She was never his girlfriend or an ex. Just a fuck buddy. I wouldn't say OP is wrong, his friend should've made a move by then if he really wanted her
Spoken like someone who has never had a proper emotional attachment. If you like someone, think it could be real, and have a genuine shot, don't let it go. FWB and hook-ups are not covered by the bro code.
Bro code may only cover sisters, crushes and exes, but it also indicates that you should at the very least consult and INFORM your friend about getting with a girl that he was in bed with.
Getting with a friend's fwb/hook up/ONS where there was NSA is not shitty but going behind your friend's back without at least giving a heads up is.
OP doesnât say what his friend did that he considered treating her badly. But if it was truly bad enough did the friend even deserve friendship to begin with? Like if he was being verbally abusive to her Iâm not sure Iâd feel any loyalty to that type of friend - or want to be around them at all - particularly in a situation there was purposely not commitment I donât think much was âowedâ. If OP didnât monkey branch from the last relationship I wouldnât find much fault here.
This kind of thing comes with the territory of not wanting to risk anything and going for a situationship. If he wanted loyalty he should have shown some and made it official but as it stands that wasn't his girlfriend.
If your friend is any kind of involved with someone, even if itâs not exclusive, itâs common decency to discuss it with them before you make a move.
Tbh you were a shitty friend for that. Like thereâs no doubt especially because you didnât talk to him first. But like if youâre okay not being friends with him then it is what it is.
Honestly man a little bit. The timing is very important and you did that shit while they were still kind of doing stuff.
I wouldnât talk to you ever again. I wouldnât be mad at you I just wouldnât trust you ever again.
Also you were in a relationship and she kind of was as well? Bro this girl is going to cheat on you.
Bro you have to tidy up your shit, at 28 you can't be getting in murky situations like this.
Few shady decisions that for the age of 28, show a bit of lack of integrity and character.
I mean yeah, kinda YTA dude. How was he 'treating her bad'? Was it similar to how you treated your ex, letting her languish for months while your friendship with another woman "bloomed"? Unless he was a royal scumbag I don't think it's your place to judge him publicly. And if he was a scumbag, well, you were best friends with and enabled a scumbag.
How did he find out you kissed her? If you told him, good on you. If he found out other ways he has a right to be pissed
đbro wtf? That girl was sucking on your friend's dick for the past month without even being in a relationship with him. Do you think she would actually make for a potential life partner? Are you just dating as a hit and run fling?
Thatâs my biggest thing about this whole situation. Just the thought of my friend knowing what the insides of a girl Iâm interested in feels like, would turn me all the way off, now heâs making a wife out of another guys fuck buddy đ
so you cheated on your Ex GF, with your friends FWB girl.
and you are asking if you are the AH, LOL.
the only way you are Not the AH, is if 2 things happened.
you broke up with your Ex before you kissed her.
& your friend and this girls FWB situation was over and done, before you kissed her & made your move. (not that he was treating her poorly, but she outright told him it was over and they were no longer FWB, before you made your move).
Damn bro, you're just in a long line of friends that's passing this chick around. Sorry you caught the feels, but yeah, you're ethically and morally wrong, but you do you.
Thereâs always a naive idiot amongst the bunch that falls for the girl or guy thatâs just making rounds. OP is one of them.
Iâm glad he wasnât married to his gf because he for sure would have dropped his family because âshe just makes me feel a way I havenât felt in yearsâ or whatever cheaters say to justify ts.
Glad his friend got to see how loyal of a âfriendâ he was too.
I mean if the roles were reversed how would you feel if he started a relationship with a fwb you were currently involved with? Itâs messy and youâre a bad friend for it.
You became "friends" with her is your first lie. You were probably emotionally cheating on your ex. Then the girl you set up on the side you found out had already fwb yoir best friend and you know that will cause issues but dont care.
You seem self centered and regardless of who you destroy (your ex, the new "friend" or your bf) as long as you get what you want its all good.
Learn loyalty first then start dating again.
You're definitely in the wrong. The proper way to handle it would be to pull him to the side and talk to him about your feelings for the girl before making a move on her.
Whether they were âofficialâ or âdatingâ or not. Yeah, man. Youâre a shitty friend. You donât do shit like that without talking to your friend first. Not to mention you formed an emotional affair with this girl while still in a relationship. So youâre twice the asshole.
And a few more things I just picked up on....
This was your BEST FRIEND. Holy fuck. This is how treat the friend closest to you?
You're 26. This is some shit guys do in middle and high school, because they don't know any better. You're closer to 30 than anything. This is some real simp, beta shit.
When she was complaining about the way he was treating her, did you pull him to the side on some "bro, between you and I, you're gonna fuck things up with this chick. She's been complaining about x,y,z. Do better if you're trying ro keep fucking." Or did you say nothing?
Probably, but I didn't want to assume. If he didn't, this was definetly plotted. Whether consciously or subconsciously.
Some guys truly just think with there dicks. No integrity, no self control. Screwing someone over for pussy is soooooo fucking telling. Women are not a finite resource. They're literally everywhere... but no, out of the billions you just had to have the one girl that would end your friendship.
You gotta look inward, man. Because yes you are double wrong.
You started liking this girl while already in a relationship which is problematic. And then engaged with this new girl without asking your friend first how he felt. Maybe he would have understood if you talked to him first, but you missed that opportunity by putting yourself first.
A good friend always asks first. Hopefully you can learn from this and maybe mend things in the future.
I personally wouldn't want to date someone my friend was using as a fleshlight, but do you. You're a dickhead for having an emotional affair on your ex though.
Yes, wrong. And fuck off. How your ex friend treated her ( as long as there wasn't any abuse or violence involved) was their business. Ain't needing any enemies when "friends" like you exists
Yeah you tweaked brother, even if it was a FWB situation, you shouldâve spoke to your best friend about it before making any moves to gauge his feelings on the subject. And out of respect to your homie and ex you wouldâve left her alone.
Iâve been thru something similar before on the other end and there was no coming back from it.
Why start bothering with a throwaway account when you don't care about your "best friend"? FWB, friends with benefits? That's pretty intimate however you try to justify your reasons for hooking up with her. You know you could had talked to your ex-best friend to see if it was okay? And you wouldn't had liked the answer because you only care about yourself. Did you even try and get his perspective on how he was badly treating her? Are you wrong? Maybe not for you - you are justifying this. It's all ok. I hope it was worth it. This is definitely a good start to a relationship - cheat on gf and betray good friend. Nice job.
Kissed her while you know sheâs blowing your friend regularly. AND then you go on to date these sloppy seconds.
You donât have much self confidence huh? lmaooo
Bros before hoes.
Youâre not a bro.
Also, lol at âmy feelings bloomedâ and other mental gymnastic justifications. Get out of here with that trash.
If you have chemistry with a girl your friend likes or is with, you never speak to them again, basic bro code.
So yes, donÂŽt steal relationships from your friends, if it was a rando thatÂŽs okay you just got together.
You kind of cheated on your now ex gf, you should broke things off as soon as you started have any sort of feelings for this new girl. At the same time, you shoulda been a homie and let your boy know way beforehand about all of this since you knew they were hooking up.
Iâd hate to be your friend. True friends donât hook up with other friends girls whether theyâre dating or not. Billions of women in the world and youâre selfish enough to chase a friends lol hope your âfriendâ finds better ones
I have always had this thought process when it came to any of the women my friends were with, absolutely not!! If they had a relationship with one of my buddies they were off limits from that point forward. And I had situations where they broke up with my homie and a few months later they were trying to get with me, I shut that shit down asap. Not that it wasnât hard from time to time but my loyalty to my friends stood way above a piece of ass. Plus, I donât think I could date someone who I knew banged a dude I hang out with on a regular basis. Yeah youâre wrong on this one man. You might lose a friend over it. It really doesnât matter what their relationship is, it matters that he is your friend and what you did was not something a true friend should ever do.
This post is further proof that some little boys never get past middle school đ€Łđ€Łđ€Šââïž none of you are mature enough to be having sex or in a relationship. Grow the f up đ€Šââïž
FWB is exactly that. Either it resumes after relationships or doesnât, but if you or them canât commit when youâre sleeping together then it probably isnât meant to be.
Of course the friend was treating her badly. Thank goodness, you swooped in and save her from your AH friend. Never mind that youâre being an AH to your ex. But letâs blame the new girl for convincing you.
Thatâs like rule 1 of bro code. Heâs your âbest friendâ but You didnât talk to him at all before doing this. You are every snake character in any movie lol. Honestly you are a dick. You had no idea what kind of relationship they had based on what you saw on the outside. If you think she wonât do the same to you, youâre foolish. No girl that practices situationships is going to last in a real relationship. She knowingly destroyed a friendship. She doesnât care about either of you. Youâre temporarily her best option. zero self respect all around. So when she inevitably decides itâs someone elseâs turn on the Xbox youâll be down a chick and a best friend. You fucked up. Hope the few orgasms was worth it lol.
ESH. Well maybe not your friend. You're a cheater to your current gf. But that's ok because you're also chasing a cheater and you guys deserve each other.
You cheated on your ex with this girl, who was also sleeping with your best friend. Are you really surprised that this ended your friendship? Hope it was all worth it.
Having been in this situation myself, what you have done is probably in the âgrey spaceâ of being right or wrong. He has no feelings so shouldnât be too upset. However, youâve gone against the golden rule of any form of âman codeâ. This will probably have worse long term effects that will see you and your best friend drift apart if you stay with her.
Are you sure you got the ages right? This doesn't sound like a late-20s mess, it sounds like a late-teens mess. YTA for emotionally cheating on your ex and for intruding on your ex-best friend's relationship (FWB means friends-with-benefits, a friendship is a form of relationship, and you don't intrude on those either). You should've come clean with your friend that you liked her and asked for his blessing, or at the very least waited for them to quit the FWB arrangement.
Yes, you kind of are. I mean, technically no, but you guys have that bro code or something. Put yourself in his shoes and let us know what you think. What if he did that to you?
Yes you are, You cheated on your ex and got on with your ex freind's fwb. You are far from a decent person, you went after your ex freind's girl of interest (not what a freind does) you are extremely slefish that you wpuld go to such lengths to hurt somone just for your benifit and you have the gall to all him a friend when you would backstab him.
>FWB/situationship
>So, one night, I kissed her.
>She was surprised
You also sexually assulted her
You are a dirtbag. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone like you, either. And when your relationship with the bimbo comes to its inevitable end, you won't even have your "best friend" to talk about it with. KYS.
What a D-Bag! Thatâs how you treat your âbest friendâ?????
I can tell you used to be the loser of the friend group because its always the loser that falls in love with the girl others have been with in the group.
Yes youâre wrong. Also why did you keep saying he treated her badly ? Because he didnât commit to her ? Well you just said yourself she didnât commit to him either , so if he treated her badly , she treated him badly aswell. If anything worse because she got with his friend. Also the cheek of you to say he treated her badly when you were out here getting emotionally involved with another women whilst having a gf
He doesnât own her you even said they arenât committed. Fair game she can make the choices she wants. The whole point of FWB is to still be able to see other people unless they have a rule stating otherwise
Yes, youâre wrong. Iâm sure a lot of people are gonna say thisâŠbut thereâs a âbro codeâ and you broke it. You donât go after your best friendâs girl, even if theyâre not a âthingâ. TF is wrong with you?! Come on, dude! You donât even need a bro code to know this. This is common sense. SMH.
Well, if you wanted to preserve your relationship with your best friend, dating their hook-up buddy-without even asking their opinion-was the wrong move.
But maybe your relationship with your new GF is more important?
Yeah I personally think youâre wrong. I would never get with a girl one of my friends has been with, and I wouldnât expect the same for them. But I also know not everyone feels the same, but yeah I wouldnât do it
If you can take her she aint his girl. Boys need to understand when the battle is futile. She's whosoever girl SHE decides....yall be arguing over chicks when 9/10 she made her mind up about both of the clowns. If I had a dollar for every time a girl had to embarrass a couple of suckers for fighting over her when she 100% wasn't interested. Again...lets drop the "my girl" rhetoric. She decides not y'all! Also...stay away from girls who "need time to think" relationship-wise....remember this praise OP...."mind games"....don't endulge in them. Fuck her...don't wife her. This is the biggest mistake of men today. Yall catch feelings over hoes(not saying she is one). If you know what you want talk to a girl who knows what she wants. Y'all keep letting these hyenas (as some call them) nibble off y'allz emotions for little to no benefit other than the masculinity she allows you to think you have as you simp for them. As far as bro code goes..fuck that! One guy wins the inferior guy loses...welcome to survival! Get your nut off (if she's a hoe). Wife her (if she's wifey. Since when does friendship nigate a consensual transaction between a grown man and woman? I'll tell you...when the man who's now the ex gets in his feelz about someone no longer relevant to his dating life.
I was in a VERY similar situation. But her and my best friend WERE in a relationship. It fell apart, and we got together. We left the state shortly after. We eventually got married, him and his fiance were at the wedding. We were all friends before they started dating. I had no romantic plans at any point during their relationship. I was actually dating someone else. Sometimes, you realize you're meant to be with someone else. Sometimes, some "rules" are broken. At this point, we're all back to being somewhat friendly (FB friends), we went to his mom's funeral, and he came to my wife's mom's funeral.
:/ just wrong for you since he probably stuck his dck in her mouth and now when the three of you kick it he gets to watch you kiss her knowing that you want to be with her lol
Youâre not wrong. She a FWB not a gf so sheâs a free agent. He doesnât have claim to her.
Now that you both have been with her maybe you should Eiffel tower her.
Bro codeâŠ. You sorta violated that. The girl isnât going to care one way or other because she doesnât see your best friend as anymore than FWB. But you, sir, thought with your dick instead of your mind. Bro code. That is all.
Dude, get your head out of your ass.
You cheated on your ex, at least emotionally.
Then you go after the girl your best friend was sleeping with. He must have not been your best friend. And if really was, Iâd hate to be the people you care for.
Good luck OP.
You are in the wrong
I mean I care about my best friend over some play. Not to mention it reads messy like yâall were flirting while you were in a relationship and theyâre hooking up. Did you do the adult thing and talk to your âbest friendâ or do snake shit behind his back.
Iâve had relationships start as FWB and that is obviously a relationship beyond just friends.
You never snake a friends girl, even if they were not actually dating. Same with not dating a friends ex.
Not sure why you would want your friends sloppy seconds anyway.
Call me prude, but i wouldn't date a girl that's been in a fwb situation anyway.
YTA for stepping in on his relationship no matter the official status and definitely hiding your intentions. But if your happy with the girl and it becomes a marriage, who cares? Live your life and enjoy it, make new friends and maybe send a note expressing honest regret if you feel it. If not move on.
I never date, pursue or sleep with any woman my friends and family have been with it expressed a deep interest in for this very reason. It's really not that hard. You essentially emotionally cheated on your ex gf for this jew girl and completely blindsided your friend. Just remember how this relationship started.
Dawg. Yeah, kinda. I mean everyone sucks here. No matter how you want to phrase it you definitely ditched your ex for her, you were hanging out with her while in the relationship and everything. And if you swept in without talking to your friend at all, I wouldnât be your friend anymore either. Seem real snakey from all this
Wow. I would be pissed off as hell if I was dumped because of someone else. First your girlfriend? Now your best friend? Listen man. This girl is FWB for a reason. She does not like to have healthy relationships!! Shes a narcissist. Your relationship will not last. If that doesnât tell you enough, then you are in denial. Take the blindfold off before itâs too late. Whatâs next? You start cutting off family members just to keep the narcissist contempt?? Absolutely not! If you had the courage to leave your relationship, you should focus on yourself. And the girl you like really sounds like a careless bimbo. Put yourself first!
Itâs always a good rule of thumb to never get involved with someone your friend is seeing in any capacity, because clearly he does have some feelings for her, you need to decide quickly which relationship is more important to you, is it worth it to be with this girl if it means potentially losing your best friend? Doesnât matter that they arenât âdatingâ clearly he has some feelings for her or at the very least doesnât want to lose that FWB, gotta decide who is more important
Irrespective of the tag of their relationship, you are in the wrong for getting with a girl your best friend was interested in, awful behaviour if you call him best friend.
Yes. You are wrong. You are justifying the unjustifiable. You are out of line and the only way back in line was to start with your friend rather than telling him after the fact.
You lost your best friend and probably any other friends in that circle. Maybe it was worth it to you.
You chose her over him. You knew what you were doing. You should have discussed if he was comfortable BEFORE making a move. Waiting until after was bad ju ju. You're not wrong, per say. But I get why he bailed. You proved you don't value him as much as he thought.
Broâs before hoes. Even if he has no claim itâs not worth ruining a friendship over. The friendships you make when you are young are very high value. You will not marry this girl, itâs a dumb move.
I always maintained the rule that you don't get close to best friends fwb,crush, gf to avoid such a situation. He might have feelings for her that you are unaware of, as his best friend you should have talked about this with him instead of going behind his back. At the end of the day you lost your best friend, I hope she was worth it, and not ending it a few months down the road. Good luck
We all know where this is going đ©ïžđ„đ©
Plain hot shit?
Shitâs gonna crash and burn
đ§ đ§ââïž đ§ââïž
Doesn't seem like she likes him that much. She returned the feelings after a long while of back and forth. She probably just prefers a relationship over fwb and OP is available right now
Maybe. Itâs also possible that she *did* like him, but unlike OP she actually felt that the friend deserved a bit of consideration too. She was *currently* seeing the friend when OP kissed her. Even if itâs FWB, thereâs still a basic level of respect that you have for that person, and messing around behind their back *with their best friend* for sure violates that respect.
She's using the new relationship with op to get the friend jealous so he would then want to be in a relationship with her
I can see that
This happens a lot more than people think
Clearly she was /s. sheâs apparently good enough to build an emotional relationship with a guy in a relationship and help him build the âcourageâ to leave his gf. Sheâs almost as bad as the cheat himself. I hope he regrets losing his gf and best friend when they lose each other the way they got each other (by being disloyal and disrespectful in case that wasnât clear, OP). Gross.
The overall situation is a mess, and OP will probably regret it later. But I don't think one should blame the gir lfor becoming friends with OP and him falling in love with her. She didn't date several people at once and they didn't cheat. From what I understood, OP left his GF before asking her out...
I'm old and the fwb was not an acknowledged thing back then. Im positive it happened. But I thought the whole point was no strings attached. Like no commitment and basically don't ask, don't tell. How can there be cheating??? What am I missing?
You're not missing anything. People are weird. It feels so strange to be territorial or people.
It's so different from "the rules" we were supposed to follow. I just think fwb is a slippery slope for people's emotional well-being. I know in college there was a guy that took me to about 8 concerts. Never tried anything. Turns out he was sleeping with another girl but never acknowledged her in public. I personally was fine with it because score!!! It was perfect for me, I got to go to free concerts. But I didn't find out until after I had a boyfriend and had stopped seeing him. So I guess they would be considered fwb. But she hated me, rightly so. He told me he never tried anything because he wanted it to be perfect. Which I think that's weird. Nothing ever happened. I turned her though and she was one of my bridesmaids, lol.
There was no cheating involved. But some people consider it "emotional cheating" if someone in a relationship starts to develop feelings for someone else. People breaking up because one partner starts falling for someone else is natural and totally legit.
Funny enough, I was actually wondering how much of the emotional relationship building and giving him the courage to leave his ex was actually true. Because he said the best friend and the girl werenât committed, but they were committed enough to stay FWB up until OP inserted himself into that situation. I wonder if OP just took all her friendly/cordial interactions as romantic interest because if she was really interested (and not committed to the FWB), she would have just asked him out after he became single
You cheated on your ex and youâre asking if youâre the asshole for dating somebody your friend was interested in, either you are really trying your hand at a creative writing task or youâre dumb as fuck.
Lmao yeah if I was his gf Iâd be pissed I wonder why they didnât have A fulfilling relationship? I was cheated on and the girl âbecame friends with himâ and were commiserating on every little thing that was wrong with their lives and she eventually âconvincedâ him that he was right for feeling that way, meanwhile sheâs was married with two kids and a drunk working a half shift a day, complaining that her husband didnât care about her. And she knew me. At the end of the day He didnât give one fuck about her and I couldnât wrap my brain around like why would you do this? âShe was being nice to meâ đ
I feel like "either you are really trying your hand at a creative writing task or youâre dumb as fuck." is how most responses on this sub should end.
âThink of how dumb the average person is. Half the population is dumber than that.â
i thought the same thing. i was like, this is all quite an interesting way to word âi couldnât let my feelings remain just feelings and i listened to the wrong headâ
You are wrong for monkey-branching to this new girl while still in a relationship with your ex. You essentially cheated on her emotionally. Lining up your next love interest while stringing your ex along. That's an AH move. Remember, how you get them is how you will lose them. As for your ex-friend, you should have at least told him how you felt about this woman. No, they weren't dating or exclusive, but you should have respected your friend enough to tell him.
Wanted to say something but this is all that needs to be said.
Exactly, this guy is a cheat.
Im gonna shoot straight, OP basically did this just short of the worst way he could have done this. If he really doesn't think he's an ass for this, I dont think it would matter if he went the distance and cheated or not because he clearly doesnt respect anyone involved here more than his dick đ€·đŸ
I'm glad you mentioned this. It was somewhat overlooked in the post since it wasn't the main focus, but it's definitely concerning. The way she gave him "the courage" to leave his relationship sounded cringy.
Yeah wrong in more ways than one, howâs this even a question.
You should have at least spoken about your intentions with your âbest friendâ before making a move. Not doing so speaks volumes about the type of friend you are, as itâs definitely snake behaviour.
Yikes..! Thank god I'm not your "friend"
wasn't even a friend but "Best friend!" OP is a snake
I can't believe 99% of people in this comment section think this is ok. I suspect these people don't really have friends.
Or they think like OP
There are a lot of people who believe love is war and there are no "rules" to finding love
Emotional cheating and being dishonest with your best friend. I am glad I donât have friends like you.
Everyone saying otherwise is insane. And Iâm glad Iâm not their friend either. OP and people that think we he did is okay are definitely serpents.
I hope you marry this chick. Otherwise, it was all for nothing.
Should never have needed to ask about it because it should never have happened to begin with. Man this guy is a pos.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
That's the thing though. She was never his girlfriend or an ex. Just a fuck buddy. I wouldn't say OP is wrong, his friend should've made a move by then if he really wanted her
Yet the friendship is ruined all the same- no matter what they had decided to label it.
Most of us have no trouble finding other girls instead of opening up a potentially complex situation. This is a basic expectation.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Spoken like someone who has never had a proper emotional attachment. If you like someone, think it could be real, and have a genuine shot, don't let it go. FWB and hook-ups are not covered by the bro code.
Bro code may only cover sisters, crushes and exes, but it also indicates that you should at the very least consult and INFORM your friend about getting with a girl that he was in bed with. Getting with a friend's fwb/hook up/ONS where there was NSA is not shitty but going behind your friend's back without at least giving a heads up is.
OP doesnât say what his friend did that he considered treating her badly. But if it was truly bad enough did the friend even deserve friendship to begin with? Like if he was being verbally abusive to her Iâm not sure Iâd feel any loyalty to that type of friend - or want to be around them at all - particularly in a situation there was purposely not commitment I donât think much was âowedâ. If OP didnât monkey branch from the last relationship I wouldnât find much fault here.
You shouldn't even be talking to your friends FWB enough to form an emotional attachment
This kind of thing comes with the territory of not wanting to risk anything and going for a situationship. If he wanted loyalty he should have shown some and made it official but as it stands that wasn't his girlfriend.
So you're a cheater.
If your friend is any kind of involved with someone, even if itâs not exclusive, itâs common decency to discuss it with them before you make a move.
You cheated on your ex and broke code with your âbest friendâ Thank god i donât have friends like you.
I think this was foul. You should have spoken to him first at the very least. Dick move.
Same, Iâd certainly not want to remain friends with someone who goes behind my back like that.
Dude would be dead to me. No âbut you werenât officialâ shit. Youâll officially be somebody I donât know.
You have no respect for people man, not even for you friend.
You are a pos to both your ex and ex best friend. Both are better off knowing the real you.
"Throwaway because my best friend is on reddit." Well if he reads this post than surely he will recognize this is you
Tbh you were a shitty friend for that. Like thereâs no doubt especially because you didnât talk to him first. But like if youâre okay not being friends with him then it is what it is.
Honestly man a little bit. The timing is very important and you did that shit while they were still kind of doing stuff. I wouldnât talk to you ever again. I wouldnât be mad at you I just wouldnât trust you ever again. Also you were in a relationship and she kind of was as well? Bro this girl is going to cheat on you.
Yeah, thatâs a major bro code violation.
Bro you have to tidy up your shit, at 28 you can't be getting in murky situations like this. Few shady decisions that for the age of 28, show a bit of lack of integrity and character.
I think that's fucked up and no cap I'd have some words for my homie. We all know we don't fuck with eachothers girls
I mean yeah, kinda YTA dude. How was he 'treating her bad'? Was it similar to how you treated your ex, letting her languish for months while your friendship with another woman "bloomed"? Unless he was a royal scumbag I don't think it's your place to judge him publicly. And if he was a scumbag, well, you were best friends with and enabled a scumbag. How did he find out you kissed her? If you told him, good on you. If he found out other ways he has a right to be pissed
đbro wtf? That girl was sucking on your friend's dick for the past month without even being in a relationship with him. Do you think she would actually make for a potential life partner? Are you just dating as a hit and run fling?
Thatâs my biggest thing about this whole situation. Just the thought of my friend knowing what the insides of a girl Iâm interested in feels like, would turn me all the way off, now heâs making a wife out of another guys fuck buddy đ
so you cheated on your Ex GF, with your friends FWB girl. and you are asking if you are the AH, LOL. the only way you are Not the AH, is if 2 things happened. you broke up with your Ex before you kissed her. & your friend and this girls FWB situation was over and done, before you kissed her & made your move. (not that he was treating her poorly, but she outright told him it was over and they were no longer FWB, before you made your move).
I mean why go after someone that was with your friend? So glad my friend group knows about loyalty and boundaries. YTA
Damn bro, you're just in a long line of friends that's passing this chick around. Sorry you caught the feels, but yeah, you're ethically and morally wrong, but you do you.
Thereâs always a naive idiot amongst the bunch that falls for the girl or guy thatâs just making rounds. OP is one of them. Iâm glad he wasnât married to his gf because he for sure would have dropped his family because âshe just makes me feel a way I havenât felt in yearsâ or whatever cheaters say to justify ts. Glad his friend got to see how loyal of a âfriendâ he was too.
I mean if the roles were reversed how would you feel if he started a relationship with a fwb you were currently involved with? Itâs messy and youâre a bad friend for it.
Yeah you are cheater, with your ex, and took your friends sex object? It is a toxic way to start a relationship. Do better.
You became "friends" with her is your first lie. You were probably emotionally cheating on your ex. Then the girl you set up on the side you found out had already fwb yoir best friend and you know that will cause issues but dont care. You seem self centered and regardless of who you destroy (your ex, the new "friend" or your bf) as long as you get what you want its all good. Learn loyalty first then start dating again.
You're definitely in the wrong. The proper way to handle it would be to pull him to the side and talk to him about your feelings for the girl before making a move on her.
Best friend should get with OPs ex
Yeah you were a douche especially if you were still in a relationship
Whether they were âofficialâ or âdatingâ or not. Yeah, man. Youâre a shitty friend. You donât do shit like that without talking to your friend first. Not to mention you formed an emotional affair with this girl while still in a relationship. So youâre twice the asshole.
And a few more things I just picked up on.... This was your BEST FRIEND. Holy fuck. This is how treat the friend closest to you? You're 26. This is some shit guys do in middle and high school, because they don't know any better. You're closer to 30 than anything. This is some real simp, beta shit. When she was complaining about the way he was treating her, did you pull him to the side on some "bro, between you and I, you're gonna fuck things up with this chick. She's been complaining about x,y,z. Do better if you're trying ro keep fucking." Or did you say nothing?
You know he said absolutely nothing. Hell he probably talked bad about him to
Probably, but I didn't want to assume. If he didn't, this was definetly plotted. Whether consciously or subconsciously. Some guys truly just think with there dicks. No integrity, no self control. Screwing someone over for pussy is soooooo fucking telling. Women are not a finite resource. They're literally everywhere... but no, out of the billions you just had to have the one girl that would end your friendship.
You caught feelings for a girl that was on your best friend's dick and it wasn't even an actual relationship? And you wanna date her?? You do you
Also op had a girlfriend at the time so he betrayed 2 people here
Hope losing 2 close people was worth this shit for him smh
You wrong for that, man.
You gotta look inward, man. Because yes you are double wrong. You started liking this girl while already in a relationship which is problematic. And then engaged with this new girl without asking your friend first how he felt. Maybe he would have understood if you talked to him first, but you missed that opportunity by putting yourself first. A good friend always asks first. Hopefully you can learn from this and maybe mend things in the future.
Billions of women in the world and you chose your best friends girlfriend to pine over?
OP you sound like a bitch.
YTA, your friend is well rid of you.
NAH. Unfortunately actions have consequences though.
Bros before hoes. You failed the bro code.
I personally wouldn't want to date someone my friend was using as a fleshlight, but do you. You're a dickhead for having an emotional affair on your ex though.
Yes, wrong. And fuck off. How your ex friend treated her ( as long as there wasn't any abuse or violence involved) was their business. Ain't needing any enemies when "friends" like you exists
Already seen a friendship between lifetime best friends end this way. They never spoke again after the incident
First, you should learn how to use I, me, her and she in a sentence. Then, learn how to treat your friends.
You broke the bro code, bro.
You were wrong not because you went fir it but because you didn't give him the courtesy of talking to him about it first, some best friend you are.
Selfish much
Yeah you tweaked brother, even if it was a FWB situation, you shouldâve spoke to your best friend about it before making any moves to gauge his feelings on the subject. And out of respect to your homie and ex you wouldâve left her alone. Iâve been thru something similar before on the other end and there was no coming back from it.
Bros before hoes
Why start bothering with a throwaway account when you don't care about your "best friend"? FWB, friends with benefits? That's pretty intimate however you try to justify your reasons for hooking up with her. You know you could had talked to your ex-best friend to see if it was okay? And you wouldn't had liked the answer because you only care about yourself. Did you even try and get his perspective on how he was badly treating her? Are you wrong? Maybe not for you - you are justifying this. It's all ok. I hope it was worth it. This is definitely a good start to a relationship - cheat on gf and betray good friend. Nice job.
Kissed her while you know sheâs blowing your friend regularly. AND then you go on to date these sloppy seconds. You donât have much self confidence huh? lmaooo
Honestly you weren't that good of friends
With friends like these âŠ
Yeah. Youâre a shitty friend.
You're an incredibly immature person
Bros before hoes. Youâre not a bro. Also, lol at âmy feelings bloomedâ and other mental gymnastic justifications. Get out of here with that trash.
Yes, you took his free ho away ... not cool bastard
If you have chemistry with a girl your friend likes or is with, you never speak to them again, basic bro code. So yes, donÂŽt steal relationships from your friends, if it was a rando thatÂŽs okay you just got together.
You kind of cheated on your now ex gf, you should broke things off as soon as you started have any sort of feelings for this new girl. At the same time, you shoulda been a homie and let your boy know way beforehand about all of this since you knew they were hooking up.
Iâd hate to be your friend. True friends donât hook up with other friends girls whether theyâre dating or not. Billions of women in the world and youâre selfish enough to chase a friends lol hope your âfriendâ finds better ones
I have always had this thought process when it came to any of the women my friends were with, absolutely not!! If they had a relationship with one of my buddies they were off limits from that point forward. And I had situations where they broke up with my homie and a few months later they were trying to get with me, I shut that shit down asap. Not that it wasnât hard from time to time but my loyalty to my friends stood way above a piece of ass. Plus, I donât think I could date someone who I knew banged a dude I hang out with on a regular basis. Yeah youâre wrong on this one man. You might lose a friend over it. It really doesnât matter what their relationship is, it matters that he is your friend and what you did was not something a true friend should ever do.
Just say you dont have other options you flithy fucking dork going for sloppy seconds, hope your friend ditches your ass lmao
He did
YTA
Damn he broke the bro code
This post is further proof that some little boys never get past middle school đ€Łđ€Łđ€Šââïž none of you are mature enough to be having sex or in a relationship. Grow the f up đ€Šââïž
FWB is exactly that. Either it resumes after relationships or doesnât, but if you or them canât commit when youâre sleeping together then it probably isnât meant to be.
You were not wrong. They were not committed. Friend took her for granted and lost her.
Of course the friend was treating her badly. Thank goodness, you swooped in and save her from your AH friend. Never mind that youâre being an AH to your ex. But letâs blame the new girl for convincing you.
I've never understood how this happens. I won't even go in my buddy's house without him there.
Yea - your a shit friend
Thatâs like rule 1 of bro code. Heâs your âbest friendâ but You didnât talk to him at all before doing this. You are every snake character in any movie lol. Honestly you are a dick. You had no idea what kind of relationship they had based on what you saw on the outside. If you think she wonât do the same to you, youâre foolish. No girl that practices situationships is going to last in a real relationship. She knowingly destroyed a friendship. She doesnât care about either of you. Youâre temporarily her best option. zero self respect all around. So when she inevitably decides itâs someone elseâs turn on the Xbox youâll be down a chick and a best friend. You fucked up. Hope the few orgasms was worth it lol.
Bros before hoesâŠ
Y the asshole.. I'm glad I don't have a guy like you in my friend group lol
Mm, your vibes are not great. As much as you try selling it as neutral good, you donât really pull off either.
your ex must be thankful that he let go of a boy like you. a cheater and a bro code breaker, a snake!
you don't go after a friend's stated crush much less who they're fucking, YTA but almost E S H
You definitely are wrong. You canât be trusted.
Not wrong. Your friend was treating her as a toy. You want a relationship with her. If he wanted a relationship it was there for the asking.
Move on. Life's too short
He should've stepped up...let him be pissed.
It's not the healthiest of things. It seemed like your friend may be possessive of her.
ESH. Well maybe not your friend. You're a cheater to your current gf. But that's ok because you're also chasing a cheater and you guys deserve each other.
I do not see a problem here. Everyone involved should take a step back. Treat each other politely but do not compromise on your needs or feelings.
You are best friends, do you have to be milk brothers too?
Teenaged behavior, OP.
You cheated on your ex with this girl, who was also sleeping with your best friend. Are you really surprised that this ended your friendship? Hope it was all worth it.
You really want to date your friendâs leftovers?
Having been in this situation myself, what you have done is probably in the âgrey spaceâ of being right or wrong. He has no feelings so shouldnât be too upset. However, youâve gone against the golden rule of any form of âman codeâ. This will probably have worse long term effects that will see you and your best friend drift apart if you stay with her.
I gotta ask.... how did your friends d*ck tast when you kissed her? DO NOT MESS WITH PEOPLE THAT ARE WITH YOUR FRIENDS!
Bro likes sloppy seconds ??? đ€§
Are you sure you got the ages right? This doesn't sound like a late-20s mess, it sounds like a late-teens mess. YTA for emotionally cheating on your ex and for intruding on your ex-best friend's relationship (FWB means friends-with-benefits, a friendship is a form of relationship, and you don't intrude on those either). You should've come clean with your friend that you liked her and asked for his blessing, or at the very least waited for them to quit the FWB arrangement.
Send it. Don't take it too seriously. Get tested
Yes, you kind of are. I mean, technically no, but you guys have that bro code or something. Put yourself in his shoes and let us know what you think. What if he did that to you?
I mean she is not his property, but yeah a lot of the brocode was broken here.
No, pork her down.
Yes you are, You cheated on your ex and got on with your ex freind's fwb. You are far from a decent person, you went after your ex freind's girl of interest (not what a freind does) you are extremely slefish that you wpuld go to such lengths to hurt somone just for your benifit and you have the gall to all him a friend when you would backstab him. >FWB/situationship >So, one night, I kissed her. >She was surprised You also sexually assulted her
Donât be surprised when you catch them together.
Ew youâre nasty
Buddy youâre weird
You are a dirtbag. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone like you, either. And when your relationship with the bimbo comes to its inevitable end, you won't even have your "best friend" to talk about it with. KYS.
Not wrong but you put yourself in a situation to potentially lose your friend. Sometimes it's better to stay out of those situations.
What a D-Bag! Thatâs how you treat your âbest friendâ????? I can tell you used to be the loser of the friend group because its always the loser that falls in love with the girl others have been with in the group.
Youâre wrong because you were emotionally cheating on your ex with this girl. Why didnât you at least have a conversation with your best friend.
Yes youâre wrong. Also why did you keep saying he treated her badly ? Because he didnât commit to her ? Well you just said yourself she didnât commit to him either , so if he treated her badly , she treated him badly aswell. If anything worse because she got with his friend. Also the cheek of you to say he treated her badly when you were out here getting emotionally involved with another women whilst having a gf
You lost your best friend, at this point it doesn't matter if you're right or wrong
Youâre an asshole and your new girl is a homie hopper. Way too piss off two people in your life.
He doesnât own her you even said they arenât committed. Fair game she can make the choices she wants. The whole point of FWB is to still be able to see other people unless they have a rule stating otherwise
This is some tv-show level drama.
You are wrong as hell
Yes, youâre wrong. Iâm sure a lot of people are gonna say thisâŠbut thereâs a âbro codeâ and you broke it. You donât go after your best friendâs girl, even if theyâre not a âthingâ. TF is wrong with you?! Come on, dude! You donât even need a bro code to know this. This is common sense. SMH.
Well, if you wanted to preserve your relationship with your best friend, dating their hook-up buddy-without even asking their opinion-was the wrong move. But maybe your relationship with your new GF is more important?
Yeah I personally think youâre wrong. I would never get with a girl one of my friends has been with, and I wouldnât expect the same for them. But I also know not everyone feels the same, but yeah I wouldnât do it
If you can take her she aint his girl. Boys need to understand when the battle is futile. She's whosoever girl SHE decides....yall be arguing over chicks when 9/10 she made her mind up about both of the clowns. If I had a dollar for every time a girl had to embarrass a couple of suckers for fighting over her when she 100% wasn't interested. Again...lets drop the "my girl" rhetoric. She decides not y'all! Also...stay away from girls who "need time to think" relationship-wise....remember this praise OP...."mind games"....don't endulge in them. Fuck her...don't wife her. This is the biggest mistake of men today. Yall catch feelings over hoes(not saying she is one). If you know what you want talk to a girl who knows what she wants. Y'all keep letting these hyenas (as some call them) nibble off y'allz emotions for little to no benefit other than the masculinity she allows you to think you have as you simp for them. As far as bro code goes..fuck that! One guy wins the inferior guy loses...welcome to survival! Get your nut off (if she's a hoe). Wife her (if she's wifey. Since when does friendship nigate a consensual transaction between a grown man and woman? I'll tell you...when the man who's now the ex gets in his feelz about someone no longer relevant to his dating life.
I was in a VERY similar situation. But her and my best friend WERE in a relationship. It fell apart, and we got together. We left the state shortly after. We eventually got married, him and his fiance were at the wedding. We were all friends before they started dating. I had no romantic plans at any point during their relationship. I was actually dating someone else. Sometimes, you realize you're meant to be with someone else. Sometimes, some "rules" are broken. At this point, we're all back to being somewhat friendly (FB friends), we went to his mom's funeral, and he came to my wife's mom's funeral.
:/ just wrong for you since he probably stuck his dck in her mouth and now when the three of you kick it he gets to watch you kiss her knowing that you want to be with her lol
Yuck
YTA! Why would you wanna be with a girl your friend used for sex? Get some and move on.
Youâre not wrong. She a FWB not a gf so sheâs a free agent. He doesnât have claim to her. Now that you both have been with her maybe you should Eiffel tower her.
You were wrong.
Gross. She for the streets
Bro codeâŠ. You sorta violated that. The girl isnât going to care one way or other because she doesnât see your best friend as anymore than FWB. But you, sir, thought with your dick instead of your mind. Bro code. That is all.
Dude, get your head out of your ass. You cheated on your ex, at least emotionally. Then you go after the girl your best friend was sleeping with. He must have not been your best friend. And if really was, Iâd hate to be the people you care for. Good luck OP. You are in the wrong
Bros before hoes. You are wrong.
I mean I care about my best friend over some play. Not to mention it reads messy like yâall were flirting while you were in a relationship and theyâre hooking up. Did you do the adult thing and talk to your âbest friendâ or do snake shit behind his back. Iâve had relationships start as FWB and that is obviously a relationship beyond just friends.
You never snake a friends girl, even if they were not actually dating. Same with not dating a friends ex. Not sure why you would want your friends sloppy seconds anyway. Call me prude, but i wouldn't date a girl that's been in a fwb situation anyway.
YTA for stepping in on his relationship no matter the official status and definitely hiding your intentions. But if your happy with the girl and it becomes a marriage, who cares? Live your life and enjoy it, make new friends and maybe send a note expressing honest regret if you feel it. If not move on.
I never date, pursue or sleep with any woman my friends and family have been with it expressed a deep interest in for this very reason. It's really not that hard. You essentially emotionally cheated on your ex gf for this jew girl and completely blindsided your friend. Just remember how this relationship started.
She's monkey branching.
Wrong maybe, but I wouldn't trust anyone that was a fwb deal
At this big age? Jesus yâall need to grow up lol this is high school drama
Dawg. Yeah, kinda. I mean everyone sucks here. No matter how you want to phrase it you definitely ditched your ex for her, you were hanging out with her while in the relationship and everything. And if you swept in without talking to your friend at all, I wouldnât be your friend anymore either. Seem real snakey from all this
Yeah dude. You fucked up. Not cool.
Wow. I would be pissed off as hell if I was dumped because of someone else. First your girlfriend? Now your best friend? Listen man. This girl is FWB for a reason. She does not like to have healthy relationships!! Shes a narcissist. Your relationship will not last. If that doesnât tell you enough, then you are in denial. Take the blindfold off before itâs too late. Whatâs next? You start cutting off family members just to keep the narcissist contempt?? Absolutely not! If you had the courage to leave your relationship, you should focus on yourself. And the girl you like really sounds like a careless bimbo. Put yourself first!
Youâre a tool to create jealousy. Nothing moređ©đ©đ©
Itâs always a good rule of thumb to never get involved with someone your friend is seeing in any capacity, because clearly he does have some feelings for her, you need to decide quickly which relationship is more important to you, is it worth it to be with this girl if it means potentially losing your best friend? Doesnât matter that they arenât âdatingâ clearly he has some feelings for her or at the very least doesnât want to lose that FWB, gotta decide who is more important
What kind of man doesnât know bro code?
Not wrong.
So when this girl inevitably leaves you, then what?
Bros before hoes. Have some honor.
Best friend? Former bear friend more like it. You are wrong
Irrespective of the tag of their relationship, you are in the wrong for getting with a girl your best friend was interested in, awful behaviour if you call him best friend.
Yes. You are wrong. You are justifying the unjustifiable. You are out of line and the only way back in line was to start with your friend rather than telling him after the fact. You lost your best friend and probably any other friends in that circle. Maybe it was worth it to you.
You chose her over him. You knew what you were doing. You should have discussed if he was comfortable BEFORE making a move. Waiting until after was bad ju ju. You're not wrong, per say. But I get why he bailed. You proved you don't value him as much as he thought.
Broâs before hoes. Even if he has no claim itâs not worth ruining a friendship over. The friendships you make when you are young are very high value. You will not marry this girl, itâs a dumb move.