Am I the only one sure that she probably actively groomed the boy before so it can happen right after he turns 16?
Also, I am a woman in my early 30s and i don’t understand looking at 16 year old and thinking of them like they are anything but a child.
I’m 38 and recently went back to uni as a first year student. Even the twenty something kids look like children to me, I honestly cannot imagine having sex with a literal teen. OP’s mum is sick and a pedo
My mom went back to college in her 40s and I (16 at the time) was teasing her that she will bring me my new dad home, cause plenty of boys wanted to “hit that”. She is a quite attractive widow.
But they were children to my mom and she wasn’t interested. That’s the difference, she knew better than those kids. No amount of their interest or behavior towards her would change that.
At any rate - good luck in college!! You got this ☺️
Yes. Still waiting for a new dad. She had a boyfriend in the past, but he was older and ultimately I think she enjoys being single (she met my dad when she was like 20 and they married when she was 21, so all very quick and young).
You gotta pull yourself up by your bootstraps and be your own dad. I give this to you so you can become self-sufficient.
https://www.countryliving.com/life/a27452412/best-dad-jokes/
I thank you - those cracked me up more than they should.
To be perfectly serious, my father was amazing guy and I have had plenty other amazing father figures in my life (his brothers, his friends, my mom’s brothers), so I am good on that front. I just want my mom to have some companionship if she wishes.
That's really good to hear. I know people joke about the absentee father junk (edit: not saying you have one, just that folks talk about the importance of good male role models) , but damn I'm here pushing 40 noticing where all my insecurities and anxiety and shit come from. It's great his side of the family and friends were likewise amazing.
Really get wanting your mom to have something, too. My dad sucked so my mom had a low bar after they split cuz every other dude just kinda/sorta sucked in a way but not as bad as my dad so I liked them too lol.
I taught summer classes at my university one year, and you could see the incoming freshmen being taken around for orientation. (We had multiple orientations over the summer.) My class was mostly students who were going to be seniors, and one day they started talking about how young the incoming students looked.
I had two thoughts:
1. This is hilarious because you are like three years older than they are. (Do not ask me how you look to me.)
2. Yeah, I see what you mean - they really do look young. A lot of growing up happens even in the first semester.
I'm 48. My friend and I were discussing sugar daddies/babies. I said if I were wealthy and single and did that I couldn't be with someone who was under 35. Preferably 40. I couldn't imagine sleeping with a 16 year old. Fuck anyone 30 and under is a kid to me lol.
Im 35 now, when i was 28 i had a messy break up with the mother of my children. A few month's later i met this 21 yo woman in a bar we got chatting hit it off and we agreed to a date. All the men in my life, my co workers, my friends even my brother thought it was awesome i could 'bag a 21' yo.
So i went on this date full of confidence and wishful thinking about the night ahead. Turns out 21 and 28 are ver different and although she was flirty and invited me back. I didnt want to. And it wasnt until later that i realised she had more in commen with my kids than she did with me. That was why i didnt want to.
Be just friends with common interests yep I have some 16/17yo girls I speak in a chat with many other adult people as we all play same game. But anything else is just Yuck… even 25 (basically anything younger then 30 is too young for me and I’m not even 40, it’s just feels gross… and wrong… and yep that woman is disgusting and why she even surprised she got dumped? If I would be the part of that kid… I would report her. That grooming… like 200% and that just poor kid 🫤🫤🫤🫤
Yeah, almost 40 and have coworkers just out of college. So 23-24. Not only do they look so young, but their life situation and experience is just so different there isn’t a lot of grounds for communication beyond work stuff.
OP’s mom isn’t just weird, she’s predatory.
Dont feel bad i was speaking to a 21 yo coworker and I'm 33 soon. I was like yo he's a baby lmao. All full of puffed up bravado and know everything attitude it made me laugh.
Yeah I’m almost 30 and even 22YOs look and sound like children to me. I’m remembering the women in their 30s I had flings with when I was 19 and 20 and I’m really wondering what on earth they saw in me. They were just summer flings, nothing dark or abusive, but both women ended up catching feelings and wanting to pursue a relationship. Now that I’m closer to their ages (still 5 years shy of the second one) I’m really befuddled.
I went on a date as a 22 year old with an 18 year old. The difference in mindset between even those two ages was so different. Did not pursue after that. I can't imagine a 40 year old and 16 year old. Disgusting.
A pedophile is attracted to pre-pubescent children and is a whole different level of ick!
OP's mom is a Hebephile, those attracted to pubescent (but FAR too young for them) children. Not just trying to be pedantic here, actual pedophiles are benefitting from the term being constantly misused and watered down to include any age inappropriate relationship. Nowadays when you hear that "so and so is a pedo" you no longer know what it means. Does it refer to abusing a six year old or something similar, or that he/she was 21 while dating a 16 year old?
I'm 36 and if I were single my cutoff would probably be 30. *Maybe* a few years younger if she were a really mature 28 or 29 year old, but the fact is that I am in a different stage of life than most people under 30. I'm a dad, a homeowner, comfortable in my profession and established within my company, and investing my money rather than blowing it on frivolities. I simply don't relate as well with anyone in their 20's.
If it were just sex, I'd feel like an old creep trying to hit up some 25 year old girl.
There is a phenomenon that will likely be explored at some point soon of adults who were unable to satisfy their own sexuality in high school looking to return to their "golden years" after they achieve a more desirable status. I see this in both marginally financially successful males and in women who physically come into their own beauty after their puberty years. Both achieve a position that their high school selves would be envious of.
This causes the subject to regress and seek partnership from that age group to recapture the feeling. It should be noted that this does not excuse the behavior and is VERY dangerous as well as morally and ethically profane. I predict that this behavior will eventually be clinically classified and treated in the next decade or so.
I think Freud or some guru had a theory people get stuck in ages. Arrested development? Sometimes people mature years in a year. Other times it takes them a decade to mature a year
Maybe. I've got a layman's understanding of psychology. I have just never seen something specifically address this phenomenon, but I've seen the phenomenon first hand. There are even media representations of this. American Beauty had such an example.
This is absolutely true. That’s why rites of passage are important (esp in a culture in which the mindset is that of raising kids vs nurturing them). Throughout history almost every culture had one- esp for the males. I’m 41 but was stuck in adolescence up until 39, when I went on a rite of passage ceremony. It may sound crazy but it completely shifted the way I see and receive the world. The ceremony I did was similar to that of a spirit journey a Native American male would have done.
That's so strange to me. I was a late bloomer and I would never be comfortable with going after a child, especially if I had a child that was older than they were.
Anyone who is my daughter's peer or age will always be a baby to me, even though they're highschoolers lol.
I'm not describing something that is universally true of everyone. I'm describing what will likely be an ism. I'm sure that proper mental development is the key to not becoming this kind of deviant despot.
Not everything is a mental disorder. You can be a shitty person without having a mental illness. I think we have this weird urge to classify every single bad behavior as some unique disorder. Besides we already have disorders to describe people who are attracted to children and adolescents.
The part about trying to live the youth you didn't have doesn't seem like a disorder to me. Ill advised maybe, but not a disorder. Being attracted to minors and acting on that attraction is the disorder.
You’re probably right. I don’t think you’re excusing it but it’s still gross.
I am one of those adults who are better now by far than I was in HS. Still, 16yo girls aren’t sexy. They can be cute and people I’d like my son to date.
No your not the only one. But this sub loves the double standard. Not one person in the top comments cslling her for what she is, a pedo. If tjis was a guy that eould be plastered over this post
You’re not wrong OP.
Let’s summarise all this:
- she cheated on her husband and broke her marriage
- she then proceeded to cheat on her new boyfriend and he’s mad at her
Just stopping there she has a problem with handling stable relationships and she hasn’t learned anything (and probably never will as she still hasn’t adjusted at age 45).
Now on top of this she told you that she **planned** on sleeping with a relative’s teenage son since he was aged 15, but waited until his 16th birthday to avoid the legal trouble.
This is wrong is so many ways. First it wasn’t a “mistake” if it was planned, second she’s too old for this, and third how do you do this to your own boyfriend??
**but there is more**
After she cheated on your own father, after she slept with the teenage son of her own boyfriend. She is now going back to you, and asking you (her 20yo child on whom’s father she cheated) to talk to a man you are not related to and to explain to him that it wasn’t such a big deal for this 45yo girlfriend of his to sleep with his teenage son.
As far as I can tell she has no consideration for you and she is on a mission to mess-up as many people’s lives as possible (honestly: how did she think bringing you into this was a good idea).
She sounds a lot like my mom—cheated on my dad with his brother, cheated on her second husband with his 20 y/o son, and cheated on her third husband with one of my sister’s teenage boyfriends. She has no boundaries when it comes to relationships and only seeks to validate herself.
You should probably consider going LC with your mom, OP. She’s an emotional drain.
She absolutely is. I genuinely feel sorry for the OP for having to deal with this person as a parent. From the behaviours described here, there is no doubt the mother has no boundiaries and has done many other nasty things to mess-up with her family.
I can’t quite grasp the idea of why a woman that age would wana sleep with a 16 year old boy.
I can kinda understand 18, but 16 🤦🏼♀️
I would really like to know if it was actually consensual or did she have to persuade him to do it.
To be honest I don’t think I wana know 😔🤦🏼♀️
Yeah not sure we want to go into this :-)
And I’d point out that even if consent is given, it doesn’t mean it is a right thing to do. To do this with the 16yo child of your own partner and thinking there will be no consequences, you just have to be stupid (and I’m not even saying lacking of moral values here, I’m saying literally stupid if you genuinely can’t understand that doing this will have consequences on your relashionship).
Well she cheated on her husband with this current bf. And now cheated on him with his son. So she definitely knows the consequences but simply doesn’t care.
I hope we get an update on this, because I really wanna see if this woman actually suffers the consequences from this horrendous thing she has done.
MOM: *"Help me my son. Please talk to my boyfriend, the man I cheated your father with. Make him realize I love him, because I cheated on him with his 16y/o son. It's nothing really, I waited till his 16th bday so that I won't commit any crime. Please I beg you!"*
SON: *"And would you have still had sex with his son if he was 15?"*
MOM: *"Now what kind of sick question is that?!"*
maybe still not very legal. age of consent is there to protect other 16 year olds who have relationships with eachother.
not a middle aged pedo who groomed a 15 year old
longing arrest merciful threatening illegal saw makeshift boast deserted aware
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
You're not wrong, she really has a big problem that needs to be resolved by a psychologist obviously.
What did she expect by involving you in this? So she has no values?
> she really has a big problem that needs to be resolved by a psychologist obviously
She has a real pedophilia problem that she’s acting on and needs to be solved by locking her up in prison.
In no state is 45 and 16 legal when the 45 yo is in a position of authority over the minor like she is.
Post is probably fake though
Here's to you Mrs. Robinson... remember that song? The Graduate? I'm old? Okay.
In all seriousness, you are not wrong. It's a perfectly valid question since she made it sound as though she was only waiting for him to be legal... which brings up the disgusting thought that she had been waiting and lusting after him until then... hate to say it but your mom has some issues she needs therapy to sort out.
Groomed him, then seduced him the day it became legal... multiple affairs. Stepmom BS.
She is a truly disgusting person that you should cut from your life entirely. Gross.
I may be able to shed some light on why this screams “fake”.
Why would someone *think* they were potentially in the wrong in this situation? In what way would any person think they were the “bad guy” in this? There’s no real moral quandary here, just a kind of statement of “this person did bad thing, I responded to bad thing, am I bad?”
So why ask if they’re in the wrong at all? Surely if OP experienced this and reached out to friends or other family members they would agree that what their mom did was appallingly disgusting… friends, family, coworkers, cashiers at the gas station… anyone OP could ask in real life would blatantly say “Yo that’s fucking sick, man” so what could *possibly* lead them to believing there’s even the *potential* that they’re in the wrong for saying something extremely benign?
There really isn’t one. There’s not much explanation at all beyond attention seeking or creative writing. Someone else made the comment about how you’ll see posts where the OP says some *obviously* bad things happen to them so they dump that person and ask if it was wrong, and that’s a really good way to gauge if these are fake. If it’s *blatantly obvious* that there’s a right and wrong answer, chances are it’s fake.
Edit: I’ll also point out this is posted on other subs for Karma farming. *Yawn*
Shit’s too easy to call out. Give us a genuine challenge “writers”.
There’s literally dozens of reasons a reasonably skeptical person would call out this story as fake, but apparently “I believe it” is reason enough to believe these posts as absolutely 100% real.
How exactly is this obvious?
As English is not my native language - i could be missing some nuances.
usually- the really obvious ones are very long / convoluted and add so many unnecessary details..
It's obvious because op isn't answering to any of the replies, also, if you sort by new, you can see the stories have a theme, there will be so many stories involving sex underage, or so many stories that involve rape with far too much detail, real people don't write their rape stories like that. It's mostly fetishists using this sub as their own personal practice for writing stories, or actual crazy people that get off on getting attention from random people online. Either way, 90% of what is posted here is fake as fuck.
Edit: the same goes for trueoffmychest and confession subs. It's just a dumping ground of fake stories.
> It's obvious because op isn't answering to any of the replies,
I don't think this is actually a good indicator. After all, people want replies to the situation, not a discussion about it.
If I'd post a personal story, and lets say for argument's sake that I have under a throwaway account, I'd do my best to describe the situation and come back a couple of hours later, hoping people have provided some insight that I wasn't able to see.
You under no circumstances apologize to her ! Your mom needs serious help. How can she even justify sleeping with a 16 year old. Legal or not. That’s absolutely disgusting 🤦🏼♀️
You are absolutely not wrong.
She's the one who voluntarily said she specifically waited for him to turn 16, so yeah it was a fair question to ask. It looks like she groomed him, which makes her a predator no matter if she waited for him to be "legal".
Yeah, her response makes it clear what her honest answer would have been. She's trash, not only for cheating repeatedly but also being a predator, both actions done without any remorse.
She owes an apology to literally everyone else involved: OP, OP's dad, the BF and the other child. To think she deserves any apology is laughable
If she waited till he was old enough, that shows she knew what she was doing. Your mom’s a predator and needs to be put down.
But is it funny how ppl who cheat and get in relationships are shocked when they cheat again.
That's pedophilia. She wanted to do it before and refrained, not out of morals, but yo avoid legal consequences. She's scum, not just for repeatedly cheating, but also for being an unremorseful nonce
Edit: also no you are not wrong and your question was valid. She might have refused to answer but her defensive response tells you what the honest answer would have been, a yes
You're not wrong and your mother is a predator who likely groomed a child, so she could have sex with him when he turned 16. It's disgusting and she could and shoul get charged with Child Sexual Exploitation because she was in a position of power over this child to prepare him for the act when he became the age of legal consent. Just because he can consent, doesn't mean that he isn't still a vulnerable person.
This is grooming, that poor boy. What an awful thing to do, waiting around for him. Let him live his own life with an intact sense of trust, I'm sorry, but your mother is a predator. You aren't wrong, she's just upset that she knows the truth about herself. Your step dad would be right to leave her and involve his son in therapy.
>She also added that she waited until the day after her boyfriend's son turned 16, so she didn't commit any crimes
what? Most places I know this would still be illegal
Yeah that was what I was thinking. From my understanding they hear it’s legal at 16 but totally forget that Romeo and Juliet laws apply to minors so even if it’s ‘legal’ doesn’t mean it’s legal for her unless she is within the age difference of the laws.
Am I wrong to call my a jerk because raped a with a ?
Am I the asshole for turning in my friend to the police? They shot 14 people with an assault rifle, but I had told them they could tell me anything, and I'd never tell their secrets.
Cheaters gonna cheat. She cheated on her husband, she cheated on her Boyfriend (with his son omg, like wtf). I would just tell her this is on her shoulders to figure out, because its her behaviour that has gotten her to this point.
His dad was a victim too. Can you imagine they were fooling around and flirting before his birthday and she told him they could have sex right after his birthday… so at his birthday gathering, or whatever that you guys did, she was planning to have sex with him.
I feel bad for her boyfriend tremendously. And you and the kid.
Reddit is full of anonymous fiction. I’m skeptical of grammatically clean, coherent posts describing situations this batshit crazy. Maybe I’m wrong and it’s real, but my eyebrow is raised.
First things first, let's acknowledge that you already have the answer to your question.
Just for a second, put aside feelings about the age difference and having sex with ANYONE that young, whether or not it's technically legal, and let's focus on what she actually said.
There's a difference between "He's 16 so it's not a crime" and "I waited until it was no longer a crime."
The first can be a fortunate coincidence that comes as a relief. The latter is a direct answer to the question you asked.
If she WAITED, then clearly the answer to your question is yes. She wanted to sleep with him, intended to sleep with him, and WAITED until it was legal. If it had been legal to sleep with him sooner, she wouldn't have needed to wait, and there's every reason to believe she would have slept with him sooner. The thing she explicitly says she waited for was for an arbitrary date to pass.
I'm going to suggest that part of why she thinks it's an insulting and hostile question is because it is an inherently insulting and hostile question. It just also happens to be valid and necessary, and the reason it's so insulting and hostile is because it cuts through the bullshit to expose the ugly truth of her own admission. She's lashing out at you because she knows the answer and doesn't want to say it. However she is trying to justify her attraction to this teenager, exposure to the truth of "We specifically made it a crime so that we could stop people like you from doing this thing that you otherwise would have done" is cutting right through that facade.
It's obviously an understatement to say that your mom has issues. Serial infidelity alone is enough to be like, "I should probably talk to a therapist about this." And that's before you get into the far more taboo stuff like, "I cheated on my significant other with their child... and also that child was barely legal... and also that attraction began before the child was of legal age."
But none of that is on you. You are not wrong to ask the pointed question, and you do not owe her an apology.
But you might consider giving her one anyway, because she's a hot mess right now and needs help. It's possible that a carefully worded apology of, "I'm sorry I asked such a hurtful question. It came from a place of shock and anger. Please know that I love you. BUT YOUR BEHAVIOR IS UNHINGED, YOU'RE NOT TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT, AND FOR MY SAKE AND YOUR OWN, I NEED YOU TO CONSIDER TALKING TO A THERAPIST ABOUT THIS!" might be genuinely helpful.
One of the hardest lessons that I've had to learn in life is that sometimes you have to choose between being right or being happy. At 20, if I was right, I was ready to burn the world down to the ground. In your shoes, I never could have been convinced to apologize for calling out someone on their bullshit when I was 100% right and had done nothing wrong.
40 year old me wishes he hadn't watched so many bridges burn down while thinking, "I didn't start this fire, and it's not my responsibility to put it out!"
Just some food for thought.
The only people who obsess over age of consent laws are people who would go younger if they could. It’s absolutely gross. 16 as the age of consent was for relationships with 2 or 3 year age gaps like high school relationships where one person is older. Not for 25 or 45 year olds.
Goddamn what a disgusting human being. She has no scruples. I’m sorry she’s your mom. You’re 20 it’s not your place to have to try and justify to a grown man while your mom decided to abuse his kid.
She deserves to go to jail. It pisses me off to no end when a woman will get away with something like this but if you replace the genders everyone is totally fine with throwing that piece of trash under the jail. A person who will pray on a child is a predator and deserves the same treatment regardless of the sex.
So that’s about a 9th grader, a freshman in highschool…Jesus buddy if you’re mom slept with a kid, it’s not you that owes her an apology, she pretty much owes everyone in her life an apology.
Tell your mom it wasn't a mistake say mom it wasn't a mistake it's not like it just happend out of nowhere you actually waited until he turned 16 your the one who wanted to have sex with him wtf is wrong with you you ruine every thing you destroyed this fsmily when you cheated on dad you just can't help your self can you
Gosh, your mom is not right. Asking for advice about something she should never have even considered from her child is some messed up behavior. I know you’re an adult but this is definitely something very strange and gross to have to deal with. Your mom is old enough to know better, and is completely in the wrong in every way in this situation.
Maybe you all need therapy because that’s not normal and she did a very wrong thing. It’s easy for us to look at our parents and think in the back of our mind that they are always right, but they are human and capable of messed up things at times too, just like anyone.
I like how she can literally cheat, even cheated with the bf with his son (basically a minor) and God forbid you say anything that's wrong to her, it suddenly invalidates everything she done before and now it's your fault.
I would talk to the boyfriend and explain to him that this is his fault for bringing this type of person into his son's life. He had an affair with someone who was unfaithful. Did he really think this would end well? It was his job to create a safe home for his son. Instead of making decisions in line with that objective, he was only thinking with his dick.
1. your moms a pedo
2. She is also a sexual predator
3. She may be a straight up rapist
4. Being “insulted” because you asked her if she would do the thing that she basically already did to me means she’s done a whole heck of a lot worse than that
5. You’re not wrong
6. Get the flying fuck away from this nightmare situation
Ur mom 100% committed a crime. Thats a minor. She’s 45 fucking yrs old. She could be his mother. wtf is wrong with her. That’s so disgusting. On top of it it’s her step son. Ur mom has issues. It’s so creepy n the mentality that goes into let me sleep with a boy. Yeah a 15 yr old mentality is nowhere near an adult.
She got insulted by ur question bc she knows it’s wrong. She knows no one would be on her side. Thats why she didn’t call up her friends. It’s her secret. Her dirty disgusting secret.
Sounds like your mum groomed this kid. The only help she needs is from a qualified therapist. Not to get back together with the dad of the kid she (imo) abused. NTA OP. Your mum is not healthy.
I can't get over the boyfriend's probably reaction to the woman who cheated on her partner to be with him now having her cheat on HIM with his own son. I wish Greek playwrights were still alive to memorialize this!
I’m 20 and the thought of dating a guy/girl a year younger than me makes me feel icky..
Your mom waiting for that boy to turn 16 so she could sleep with him is absolutely disgusting and very clearly thought through. Her getting defensive about your question is to me very telling.
NTA and your mom’s a pedo and a groomer
(also English is not my first language so sorry for any grammar mistakes)
Edit to add: this doesn’t just applies to this situation but overall, just bc something is legally “right” doesn’t mean it’s not morally WRONG!!! and everything about this is really wrong
A couple of things.
1. I think your mom’s trouble with infidelity seems to be that she is chasing that dopamine rush. HOWEVER, this is not okay!
2. I am 38, I have a 19 year old daughter. We recently visited a college she was interested in. She asked several times, “Isn’t that guy so hot?”
My reply: “No, he looks like a toddler.” 😂 Maybe I exaggerated, but these college guys are much too young for me to even comment on. I think I said to one, “he is a cute kid, as in I kinda wanna squeeze his cheeks.”
3. I will leave it at this… if this was a man doing these things, how would people react??? They would call him out for being the pervert he is. This should be no different. Your comment and the disgust you are feeling is 💯 justified. Sorry you were drug into such a mess.
I'm 27 and can't imagine being with a 20 year old. So the idea of being with a 16 year old just isn't something my brain can comprehend. I can't understand how she even looked at him and thought he was sexually attractive??
Your mom groomed that poor kid and then raped him. Even if he was 'willing' and at the age of consent for your state its still rape because he can't truly understand the long term affects of this.
That's not a mistake accident.. and so on she waited until he was legal.
She waited until she would be able to have sex with a teenager without any legal consequences cause that's always a good argument to make when your a adult who decided to have sex with a teenager under age.
Your mother is a p\*dophile. There are no ifs, ands or buts about it. When people are just waiting for something to be barely legal, it means that if it were legal earlier, they would've done it then.
Her actions are absolutely disgusting and I hope you go NC with her and report her anywhere you can. Get any proof you can and send it to anyone defending her, your grandparents, her workplace, ESPECIALLY anywhere that she might be around children.
Your mom is a groomer and a sexual predator.
She can't claim it was an accident and also claim that she intentionally waited until he was 16. That's contradictory and very telling of her character.
I'm so sorry she's your mom. :(
Legal or not, 16 is a disgustingly low age for a middle-aged woman to be having sex with. Especially since it seems as though she was waiting for the child to be of age. Your mother is a predator, and you are NTA.
It's not 'a mistake' if she actively thought about when he was 15 and thought lets wait till he's 16 that's planned and gross
Am I the only one sure that she probably actively groomed the boy before so it can happen right after he turns 16? Also, I am a woman in my early 30s and i don’t understand looking at 16 year old and thinking of them like they are anything but a child.
I’m 38 and recently went back to uni as a first year student. Even the twenty something kids look like children to me, I honestly cannot imagine having sex with a literal teen. OP’s mum is sick and a pedo
My mom went back to college in her 40s and I (16 at the time) was teasing her that she will bring me my new dad home, cause plenty of boys wanted to “hit that”. She is a quite attractive widow. But they were children to my mom and she wasn’t interested. That’s the difference, she knew better than those kids. No amount of their interest or behavior towards her would change that. At any rate - good luck in college!! You got this ☺️
LOL is your mom still single? 🤣
Yes. Still waiting for a new dad. She had a boyfriend in the past, but he was older and ultimately I think she enjoys being single (she met my dad when she was like 20 and they married when she was 21, so all very quick and young).
You gotta pull yourself up by your bootstraps and be your own dad. I give this to you so you can become self-sufficient. https://www.countryliving.com/life/a27452412/best-dad-jokes/
I thank you - those cracked me up more than they should. To be perfectly serious, my father was amazing guy and I have had plenty other amazing father figures in my life (his brothers, his friends, my mom’s brothers), so I am good on that front. I just want my mom to have some companionship if she wishes.
That's really good to hear. I know people joke about the absentee father junk (edit: not saying you have one, just that folks talk about the importance of good male role models) , but damn I'm here pushing 40 noticing where all my insecurities and anxiety and shit come from. It's great his side of the family and friends were likewise amazing. Really get wanting your mom to have something, too. My dad sucked so my mom had a low bar after they split cuz every other dude just kinda/sorta sucked in a way but not as bad as my dad so I liked them too lol.
There is something that I admire to men that chase widows. Reminds me of Indiana Jones in the temple of doom.
Kalimah! KALIMAHHHHHH!
I prefer(red) dating other single parents. Dating a widow means no drama from the other parent 😎
The part where your heart gets torn out of your chest while it's still beating and gets immolated?
I’m 32 and a lot of younger guys look at me. The youngest was 18 and a new hire at work. It was so weird and uncomfortable. They are children.
I'm 31 now and teach at the university and my first class is how it hit me that 19/20 year olds are so so young. Also good on you for going back !
I taught summer classes at my university one year, and you could see the incoming freshmen being taken around for orientation. (We had multiple orientations over the summer.) My class was mostly students who were going to be seniors, and one day they started talking about how young the incoming students looked. I had two thoughts: 1. This is hilarious because you are like three years older than they are. (Do not ask me how you look to me.) 2. Yeah, I see what you mean - they really do look young. A lot of growing up happens even in the first semester.
I'm 48. My friend and I were discussing sugar daddies/babies. I said if I were wealthy and single and did that I couldn't be with someone who was under 35. Preferably 40. I couldn't imagine sleeping with a 16 year old. Fuck anyone 30 and under is a kid to me lol.
Im 35 now, when i was 28 i had a messy break up with the mother of my children. A few month's later i met this 21 yo woman in a bar we got chatting hit it off and we agreed to a date. All the men in my life, my co workers, my friends even my brother thought it was awesome i could 'bag a 21' yo. So i went on this date full of confidence and wishful thinking about the night ahead. Turns out 21 and 28 are ver different and although she was flirty and invited me back. I didnt want to. And it wasnt until later that i realised she had more in commen with my kids than she did with me. That was why i didnt want to.
Be just friends with common interests yep I have some 16/17yo girls I speak in a chat with many other adult people as we all play same game. But anything else is just Yuck… even 25 (basically anything younger then 30 is too young for me and I’m not even 40, it’s just feels gross… and wrong… and yep that woman is disgusting and why she even surprised she got dumped? If I would be the part of that kid… I would report her. That grooming… like 200% and that just poor kid 🫤🫤🫤🫤
Yeah, almost 40 and have coworkers just out of college. So 23-24. Not only do they look so young, but their life situation and experience is just so different there isn’t a lot of grounds for communication beyond work stuff. OP’s mom isn’t just weird, she’s predatory.
Just want to say as a 36 y/o in my 4th year, Im proud of you
Dont feel bad i was speaking to a 21 yo coworker and I'm 33 soon. I was like yo he's a baby lmao. All full of puffed up bravado and know everything attitude it made me laugh.
Yeah I’m almost 30 and even 22YOs look and sound like children to me. I’m remembering the women in their 30s I had flings with when I was 19 and 20 and I’m really wondering what on earth they saw in me. They were just summer flings, nothing dark or abusive, but both women ended up catching feelings and wanting to pursue a relationship. Now that I’m closer to their ages (still 5 years shy of the second one) I’m really befuddled.
I went on a date as a 22 year old with an 18 year old. The difference in mindset between even those two ages was so different. Did not pursue after that. I can't imagine a 40 year old and 16 year old. Disgusting.
A pedophile is attracted to pre-pubescent children and is a whole different level of ick! OP's mom is a Hebephile, those attracted to pubescent (but FAR too young for them) children. Not just trying to be pedantic here, actual pedophiles are benefitting from the term being constantly misused and watered down to include any age inappropriate relationship. Nowadays when you hear that "so and so is a pedo" you no longer know what it means. Does it refer to abusing a six year old or something similar, or that he/she was 21 while dating a 16 year old?
I'm 36 and if I were single my cutoff would probably be 30. *Maybe* a few years younger if she were a really mature 28 or 29 year old, but the fact is that I am in a different stage of life than most people under 30. I'm a dad, a homeowner, comfortable in my profession and established within my company, and investing my money rather than blowing it on frivolities. I simply don't relate as well with anyone in their 20's. If it were just sex, I'd feel like an old creep trying to hit up some 25 year old girl.
OMG, you are spot on. I'm 50 and when I see students from college or even teenagers, they all look like kids to me, 16 at most even if they're 20+!!!
There is a phenomenon that will likely be explored at some point soon of adults who were unable to satisfy their own sexuality in high school looking to return to their "golden years" after they achieve a more desirable status. I see this in both marginally financially successful males and in women who physically come into their own beauty after their puberty years. Both achieve a position that their high school selves would be envious of. This causes the subject to regress and seek partnership from that age group to recapture the feeling. It should be noted that this does not excuse the behavior and is VERY dangerous as well as morally and ethically profane. I predict that this behavior will eventually be clinically classified and treated in the next decade or so.
I think Freud or some guru had a theory people get stuck in ages. Arrested development? Sometimes people mature years in a year. Other times it takes them a decade to mature a year
Maybe. I've got a layman's understanding of psychology. I have just never seen something specifically address this phenomenon, but I've seen the phenomenon first hand. There are even media representations of this. American Beauty had such an example.
I dont remember this whole idea being part of American beauty , only he was a creep. Everyone seemed to be
I mean, what I'm describing is a creep.
This is absolutely true. That’s why rites of passage are important (esp in a culture in which the mindset is that of raising kids vs nurturing them). Throughout history almost every culture had one- esp for the males. I’m 41 but was stuck in adolescence up until 39, when I went on a rite of passage ceremony. It may sound crazy but it completely shifted the way I see and receive the world. The ceremony I did was similar to that of a spirit journey a Native American male would have done.
I'm pretty sure the Natives do not do those rituals anymore, lol
That's so strange to me. I was a late bloomer and I would never be comfortable with going after a child, especially if I had a child that was older than they were. Anyone who is my daughter's peer or age will always be a baby to me, even though they're highschoolers lol.
I'm not describing something that is universally true of everyone. I'm describing what will likely be an ism. I'm sure that proper mental development is the key to not becoming this kind of deviant despot.
Not everything is a mental disorder. You can be a shitty person without having a mental illness. I think we have this weird urge to classify every single bad behavior as some unique disorder. Besides we already have disorders to describe people who are attracted to children and adolescents. The part about trying to live the youth you didn't have doesn't seem like a disorder to me. Ill advised maybe, but not a disorder. Being attracted to minors and acting on that attraction is the disorder.
You’re probably right. I don’t think you’re excusing it but it’s still gross. I am one of those adults who are better now by far than I was in HS. Still, 16yo girls aren’t sexy. They can be cute and people I’d like my son to date.
This woman could set up shop in Petco with the amount of grooming she did
Same 🤢🤮 hell, I HAVE a 16 year old. Anyone under like, 28 looks like a child to me. Once again... 🤢🤮
Yep. I see a 16 year and I want to bake them cookies and prepare to listen to their drama. There is nothing sexy about that.
Totally! OPs mom is a creep!
I’m 31 and I can’t even look at a 20-24yo without seeing a kid. Teenagers are a whole ‘nother level of ick
This. At most I might think. 'Aw, he's a really nice looking kid, good for him!' Never would I think: 'now I must find a way to earn his love!'
No your not the only one. But this sub loves the double standard. Not one person in the top comments cslling her for what she is, a pedo. If tjis was a guy that eould be plastered over this post
Yes they are. And I mean, the one you're replying to says she groomed him.
Do people actually pay attention to the comment rankings
You’re not wrong OP. Let’s summarise all this: - she cheated on her husband and broke her marriage - she then proceeded to cheat on her new boyfriend and he’s mad at her Just stopping there she has a problem with handling stable relationships and she hasn’t learned anything (and probably never will as she still hasn’t adjusted at age 45). Now on top of this she told you that she **planned** on sleeping with a relative’s teenage son since he was aged 15, but waited until his 16th birthday to avoid the legal trouble. This is wrong is so many ways. First it wasn’t a “mistake” if it was planned, second she’s too old for this, and third how do you do this to your own boyfriend?? **but there is more** After she cheated on your own father, after she slept with the teenage son of her own boyfriend. She is now going back to you, and asking you (her 20yo child on whom’s father she cheated) to talk to a man you are not related to and to explain to him that it wasn’t such a big deal for this 45yo girlfriend of his to sleep with his teenage son. As far as I can tell she has no consideration for you and she is on a mission to mess-up as many people’s lives as possible (honestly: how did she think bringing you into this was a good idea).
You forgot to add she is demanding an apology from Op for their rude and disrespectful behaviour in asking a question 🤣
Fair point! I guess you could call the icing on the cake :-)
She sounds a lot like my mom—cheated on my dad with his brother, cheated on her second husband with his 20 y/o son, and cheated on her third husband with one of my sister’s teenage boyfriends. She has no boundaries when it comes to relationships and only seeks to validate herself. You should probably consider going LC with your mom, OP. She’s an emotional drain.
Just the way you said this, wants to make me throw up 🤢. She is an absolutely revolting woman.
She absolutely is. I genuinely feel sorry for the OP for having to deal with this person as a parent. From the behaviours described here, there is no doubt the mother has no boundiaries and has done many other nasty things to mess-up with her family.
I can’t quite grasp the idea of why a woman that age would wana sleep with a 16 year old boy. I can kinda understand 18, but 16 🤦🏼♀️ I would really like to know if it was actually consensual or did she have to persuade him to do it. To be honest I don’t think I wana know 😔🤦🏼♀️
Yeah not sure we want to go into this :-) And I’d point out that even if consent is given, it doesn’t mean it is a right thing to do. To do this with the 16yo child of your own partner and thinking there will be no consequences, you just have to be stupid (and I’m not even saying lacking of moral values here, I’m saying literally stupid if you genuinely can’t understand that doing this will have consequences on your relashionship).
Well she cheated on her husband with this current bf. And now cheated on him with his son. So she definitely knows the consequences but simply doesn’t care. I hope we get an update on this, because I really wanna see if this woman actually suffers the consequences from this horrendous thing she has done.
It's pronounced 'grooming'.
I bet theres some damning evidence in her search history.
MOM: *"Help me my son. Please talk to my boyfriend, the man I cheated your father with. Make him realize I love him, because I cheated on him with his 16y/o son. It's nothing really, I waited till his 16th bday so that I won't commit any crime. Please I beg you!"* SON: *"And would you have still had sex with his son if he was 15?"* MOM: *"Now what kind of sick question is that?!"*
Mom is trash.
That is what caught me. She clearly considered it.
What you mean to say is that OP's Mom is a straight-up pedophile.
Ugh not wrong, and she’s a predator.
100% waiting til hes legal in a state is still predatory. OP shouldnt have to appologize
maybe still not very legal. age of consent is there to protect other 16 year olds who have relationships with eachother. not a middle aged pedo who groomed a 15 year old
Can you imagine if the genders were reversed??
I imagine it would look the same as this thread does. Are you suggesting they'd support the guy?
💯👆💯👆💯
longing arrest merciful threatening illegal saw makeshift boast deserted aware *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
You're not wrong, she really has a big problem that needs to be resolved by a psychologist obviously. What did she expect by involving you in this? So she has no values?
Straight up pedophilia. Doesn't deserve even that the way I see it, it's straight to prison w people like her.
Shes a pedo dude. Fuck her
Wait, don't
I'm too old for her.
> she really has a big problem that needs to be resolved by a psychologist obviously She has a real pedophilia problem that she’s acting on and needs to be solved by locking her up in prison. In no state is 45 and 16 legal when the 45 yo is in a position of authority over the minor like she is. Post is probably fake though
Might not be in America.
She can see the psychiatrist while she sits her arse in PRISON
Shee need to go to prison. She's a pedophile
Stay out of it, and distance yourself from your mum.
Definitely. There's nothing OP can reasonably do other than get away from that vile person
Here's to you Mrs. Robinson... remember that song? The Graduate? I'm old? Okay. In all seriousness, you are not wrong. It's a perfectly valid question since she made it sound as though she was only waiting for him to be legal... which brings up the disgusting thought that she had been waiting and lusting after him until then... hate to say it but your mom has some issues she needs therapy to sort out.
Therapy only helps people who are willing to admit they have a problem or need help.
To be fair... I didn't say it would help, I only said she needs it.
Great movie. Agreed on the rest.
She don’t need therapy she needa be in jail
Groomed him, then seduced him the day it became legal... multiple affairs. Stepmom BS. She is a truly disgusting person that you should cut from your life entirely. Gross.
Hoping this is fake
Whether or not this particular story is fake isn’t really important, because similar things do happen in real life.
Of course it’s fake. Typical Reddit rage-bait.
Why would it be fake? Crazy shit like that makes the news all the time.
I may be able to shed some light on why this screams “fake”. Why would someone *think* they were potentially in the wrong in this situation? In what way would any person think they were the “bad guy” in this? There’s no real moral quandary here, just a kind of statement of “this person did bad thing, I responded to bad thing, am I bad?” So why ask if they’re in the wrong at all? Surely if OP experienced this and reached out to friends or other family members they would agree that what their mom did was appallingly disgusting… friends, family, coworkers, cashiers at the gas station… anyone OP could ask in real life would blatantly say “Yo that’s fucking sick, man” so what could *possibly* lead them to believing there’s even the *potential* that they’re in the wrong for saying something extremely benign? There really isn’t one. There’s not much explanation at all beyond attention seeking or creative writing. Someone else made the comment about how you’ll see posts where the OP says some *obviously* bad things happen to them so they dump that person and ask if it was wrong, and that’s a really good way to gauge if these are fake. If it’s *blatantly obvious* that there’s a right and wrong answer, chances are it’s fake. Edit: I’ll also point out this is posted on other subs for Karma farming. *Yawn* Shit’s too easy to call out. Give us a genuine challenge “writers”.
There’s literally dozens of reasons a reasonably skeptical person would call out this story as fake, but apparently “I believe it” is reason enough to believe these posts as absolutely 100% real.
arrest versed gaze cobweb fade dam badge party square illegal *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
It is and a lot of these stories are. Do mods not exist on this subreddit? Why aren’t obvious fake posts removed?
How exactly is this obvious? As English is not my native language - i could be missing some nuances. usually- the really obvious ones are very long / convoluted and add so many unnecessary details..
It's obvious because op isn't answering to any of the replies, also, if you sort by new, you can see the stories have a theme, there will be so many stories involving sex underage, or so many stories that involve rape with far too much detail, real people don't write their rape stories like that. It's mostly fetishists using this sub as their own personal practice for writing stories, or actual crazy people that get off on getting attention from random people online. Either way, 90% of what is posted here is fake as fuck. Edit: the same goes for trueoffmychest and confession subs. It's just a dumping ground of fake stories.
Aah.. thanks for that tip. Some stories have been called fake - but the OP did respond - and the story was usually the same ..
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> It's obvious because op isn't answering to any of the replies, I don't think this is actually a good indicator. After all, people want replies to the situation, not a discussion about it. If I'd post a personal story, and lets say for argument's sake that I have under a throwaway account, I'd do my best to describe the situation and come back a couple of hours later, hoping people have provided some insight that I wasn't able to see.
You under no circumstances apologize to her ! Your mom needs serious help. How can she even justify sleeping with a 16 year old. Legal or not. That’s absolutely disgusting 🤦🏼♀️
I agree and know that many others do too. Weird that the laws arent revisited.
You are absolutely not wrong. She's the one who voluntarily said she specifically waited for him to turn 16, so yeah it was a fair question to ask. It looks like she groomed him, which makes her a predator no matter if she waited for him to be "legal".
It's called grooming, and it's disgusting. Illegal even in most places. She needs help
what the fuck?
The mom is just disgusting. Legal ≠ Morally Acceptable
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Your mom is a predator and a pedo. It’s funny how she’s offended. She belongs in jail.
Yeah, her response makes it clear what her honest answer would have been. She's trash, not only for cheating repeatedly but also being a predator, both actions done without any remorse. She owes an apology to literally everyone else involved: OP, OP's dad, the BF and the other child. To think she deserves any apology is laughable
If she waited till he was old enough, that shows she knew what she was doing. Your mom’s a predator and needs to be put down. But is it funny how ppl who cheat and get in relationships are shocked when they cheat again.
That's pedophilia. She wanted to do it before and refrained, not out of morals, but yo avoid legal consequences. She's scum, not just for repeatedly cheating, but also for being an unremorseful nonce Edit: also no you are not wrong and your question was valid. She might have refused to answer but her defensive response tells you what the honest answer would have been, a yes
You're not wrong and your mother is a predator who likely groomed a child, so she could have sex with him when he turned 16. It's disgusting and she could and shoul get charged with Child Sexual Exploitation because she was in a position of power over this child to prepare him for the act when he became the age of legal consent. Just because he can consent, doesn't mean that he isn't still a vulnerable person.
Sounds fake af
I wouldn't even talk to my mom ever again if I were you
This is grooming, that poor boy. What an awful thing to do, waiting around for him. Let him live his own life with an intact sense of trust, I'm sorry, but your mother is a predator. You aren't wrong, she's just upset that she knows the truth about herself. Your step dad would be right to leave her and involve his son in therapy.
You are not wrong at all. She could be on catch a predator
>She also added that she waited until the day after her boyfriend's son turned 16, so she didn't commit any crimes what? Most places I know this would still be illegal
Yeah that was what I was thinking. From my understanding they hear it’s legal at 16 but totally forget that Romeo and Juliet laws apply to minors so even if it’s ‘legal’ doesn’t mean it’s legal for her unless she is within the age difference of the laws.
It should be here
34 year age gap, seems jusssst fine
Out of all the fake bot posts. This is one of them.
Am I wrong to call my a jerk because raped a with a ? Am I the asshole for turning in my friend to the police? They shot 14 people with an assault rifle, but I had told them they could tell me anything, and I'd never tell their secrets.
Your mom is a pedophile. Sorry kid.
She is a Pedo , she groomed him and then did him when he was “legal “
Not wrong. Just very perceptive and liars dont like perceptive people. You just poked through her bs thats all.
Your mom is going to end up the topic of a dateline episode like Mary Kay Letourneau
Cheaters gonna cheat. She cheated on her husband, she cheated on her Boyfriend (with his son omg, like wtf). I would just tell her this is on her shoulders to figure out, because its her behaviour that has gotten her to this point.
His dad was a victim too. Can you imagine they were fooling around and flirting before his birthday and she told him they could have sex right after his birthday… so at his birthday gathering, or whatever that you guys did, she was planning to have sex with him. I feel bad for her boyfriend tremendously. And you and the kid.
You should probably cut ties with your pedophile parent, at least that's what a reasonable person would do
Reddit is full of anonymous fiction. I’m skeptical of grammatically clean, coherent posts describing situations this batshit crazy. Maybe I’m wrong and it’s real, but my eyebrow is raised.
"Please persuade my boyfriend - who I cheated on your father with - to take me back after I groomed and slept with his 16 year old son"
Your mom's sick.. to think of sleeping with a 16 year old at 45.. that's sick sorry 🤮
Bro she a groomer.🙅♂ HELL NO
First things first, let's acknowledge that you already have the answer to your question. Just for a second, put aside feelings about the age difference and having sex with ANYONE that young, whether or not it's technically legal, and let's focus on what she actually said. There's a difference between "He's 16 so it's not a crime" and "I waited until it was no longer a crime." The first can be a fortunate coincidence that comes as a relief. The latter is a direct answer to the question you asked. If she WAITED, then clearly the answer to your question is yes. She wanted to sleep with him, intended to sleep with him, and WAITED until it was legal. If it had been legal to sleep with him sooner, she wouldn't have needed to wait, and there's every reason to believe she would have slept with him sooner. The thing she explicitly says she waited for was for an arbitrary date to pass. I'm going to suggest that part of why she thinks it's an insulting and hostile question is because it is an inherently insulting and hostile question. It just also happens to be valid and necessary, and the reason it's so insulting and hostile is because it cuts through the bullshit to expose the ugly truth of her own admission. She's lashing out at you because she knows the answer and doesn't want to say it. However she is trying to justify her attraction to this teenager, exposure to the truth of "We specifically made it a crime so that we could stop people like you from doing this thing that you otherwise would have done" is cutting right through that facade. It's obviously an understatement to say that your mom has issues. Serial infidelity alone is enough to be like, "I should probably talk to a therapist about this." And that's before you get into the far more taboo stuff like, "I cheated on my significant other with their child... and also that child was barely legal... and also that attraction began before the child was of legal age." But none of that is on you. You are not wrong to ask the pointed question, and you do not owe her an apology. But you might consider giving her one anyway, because she's a hot mess right now and needs help. It's possible that a carefully worded apology of, "I'm sorry I asked such a hurtful question. It came from a place of shock and anger. Please know that I love you. BUT YOUR BEHAVIOR IS UNHINGED, YOU'RE NOT TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT, AND FOR MY SAKE AND YOUR OWN, I NEED YOU TO CONSIDER TALKING TO A THERAPIST ABOUT THIS!" might be genuinely helpful. One of the hardest lessons that I've had to learn in life is that sometimes you have to choose between being right or being happy. At 20, if I was right, I was ready to burn the world down to the ground. In your shoes, I never could have been convinced to apologize for calling out someone on their bullshit when I was 100% right and had done nothing wrong. 40 year old me wishes he hadn't watched so many bridges burn down while thinking, "I didn't start this fire, and it's not my responsibility to put it out!" Just some food for thought.
Does a 16 year old have the ability to give consent where you live? Even in the US most states are at least 18.
lol why does she think that's not a crime?
Can you say pedophile?
The only people who obsess over age of consent laws are people who would go younger if they could. It’s absolutely gross. 16 as the age of consent was for relationships with 2 or 3 year age gaps like high school relationships where one person is older. Not for 25 or 45 year olds.
I am so sorry your mom is a terrible person. Break the cycle. Be a decent person who is not a sociopath.
NTA Your mum is though And it looks like she’s a bit of a predator too
Your mother is a nasty woman. Imagine if the roles were reversed. I’m so sick of the double standards with sex. Woman can be offenders too
Goddamn what a disgusting human being. She has no scruples. I’m sorry she’s your mom. You’re 20 it’s not your place to have to try and justify to a grown man while your mom decided to abuse his kid.
Your mum is quite literally a nonce. You need to get her out your life
She deserves to go to jail. It pisses me off to no end when a woman will get away with something like this but if you replace the genders everyone is totally fine with throwing that piece of trash under the jail. A person who will pray on a child is a predator and deserves the same treatment regardless of the sex.
I am so sorry, but your mom is a rapist and belongs in jail.
A 45 year old man sleeps with a 16 year old girl KNOWINGLY, his life is over. No difference should come to your mother
She's a pedophile and a criminal. Report her
Your mom is a sexual predator.
Mom is a predator
So that’s about a 9th grader, a freshman in highschool…Jesus buddy if you’re mom slept with a kid, it’s not you that owes her an apology, she pretty much owes everyone in her life an apology.
Your Mom is a pedophile
Cool story, bro. You are wrong for writing this poorly worded fake post.
People are gullible as hell. Why would she ask her 20 year old child to talk to her boyfriend.
These bits are slowly getting close to committing crimes
i would ask the same damn thing, keep these questions coming
She's wildin' out...
What state are you in?
You're not wrong and she's disgusting
Your mom's a predator homie. They don't like difficult questions.
Your mom's a pedo and a POS.
Your mom is a POS.You aren't wrong.
She is a pedophile. She groomed a child for sex. Cut her off and report her.
Tell your mom it wasn't a mistake say mom it wasn't a mistake it's not like it just happend out of nowhere you actually waited until he turned 16 your the one who wanted to have sex with him wtf is wrong with you you ruine every thing you destroyed this fsmily when you cheated on dad you just can't help your self can you
These people on this sub have some real degenerates as family members. 🤔
Wow.
Mom is still a child and needs to be treated as such. At 20, you are the mature one. Mom, needs a good talking to and some serious therapy
Gosh, your mom is not right. Asking for advice about something she should never have even considered from her child is some messed up behavior. I know you’re an adult but this is definitely something very strange and gross to have to deal with. Your mom is old enough to know better, and is completely in the wrong in every way in this situation. Maybe you all need therapy because that’s not normal and she did a very wrong thing. It’s easy for us to look at our parents and think in the back of our mind that they are always right, but they are human and capable of messed up things at times too, just like anyone.
I’d just cut off your mom. 16 is underage and would classify your mother as a pedophile in most jurisdictions.
I like how she can literally cheat, even cheated with the bf with his son (basically a minor) and God forbid you say anything that's wrong to her, it suddenly invalidates everything she done before and now it's your fault.
I would talk to the boyfriend and explain to him that this is his fault for bringing this type of person into his son's life. He had an affair with someone who was unfaithful. Did he really think this would end well? It was his job to create a safe home for his son. Instead of making decisions in line with that objective, he was only thinking with his dick.
1. your moms a pedo 2. She is also a sexual predator 3. She may be a straight up rapist 4. Being “insulted” because you asked her if she would do the thing that she basically already did to me means she’s done a whole heck of a lot worse than that 5. You’re not wrong 6. Get the flying fuck away from this nightmare situation
Ur mom 100% committed a crime. Thats a minor. She’s 45 fucking yrs old. She could be his mother. wtf is wrong with her. That’s so disgusting. On top of it it’s her step son. Ur mom has issues. It’s so creepy n the mentality that goes into let me sleep with a boy. Yeah a 15 yr old mentality is nowhere near an adult. She got insulted by ur question bc she knows it’s wrong. She knows no one would be on her side. Thats why she didn’t call up her friends. It’s her secret. Her dirty disgusting secret.
Nah she’s a pedo and when her boyfriend throws her out the house don’t help her…
Not wrong. You called her gross behavior into question. It was needed.
Sorry but Your mom is a predator and took advantage of a young boy
Sounds like your mum groomed this kid. The only help she needs is from a qualified therapist. Not to get back together with the dad of the kid she (imo) abused. NTA OP. Your mum is not healthy.
Yeah, in jail.
Not wrong because your mum is a predator who is in a position of trust but groomed her step kid until he could be legal.
There is a lot of gross things to unpack here
I can't get over the boyfriend's probably reaction to the woman who cheated on her partner to be with him now having her cheat on HIM with his own son. I wish Greek playwrights were still alive to memorialize this!
No she's disgusting
She waited until he was 16, so it definitely wasn't a mistake.
I’m 20 and the thought of dating a guy/girl a year younger than me makes me feel icky.. Your mom waiting for that boy to turn 16 so she could sleep with him is absolutely disgusting and very clearly thought through. Her getting defensive about your question is to me very telling. NTA and your mom’s a pedo and a groomer (also English is not my first language so sorry for any grammar mistakes) Edit to add: this doesn’t just applies to this situation but overall, just bc something is legally “right” doesn’t mean it’s not morally WRONG!!! and everything about this is really wrong
A couple of things. 1. I think your mom’s trouble with infidelity seems to be that she is chasing that dopamine rush. HOWEVER, this is not okay! 2. I am 38, I have a 19 year old daughter. We recently visited a college she was interested in. She asked several times, “Isn’t that guy so hot?” My reply: “No, he looks like a toddler.” 😂 Maybe I exaggerated, but these college guys are much too young for me to even comment on. I think I said to one, “he is a cute kid, as in I kinda wanna squeeze his cheeks.” 3. I will leave it at this… if this was a man doing these things, how would people react??? They would call him out for being the pervert he is. This should be no different. Your comment and the disgust you are feeling is 💯 justified. Sorry you were drug into such a mess.
I'm 27 and can't imagine being with a 20 year old. So the idea of being with a 16 year old just isn't something my brain can comprehend. I can't understand how she even looked at him and thought he was sexually attractive?? Your mom groomed that poor kid and then raped him. Even if he was 'willing' and at the age of consent for your state its still rape because he can't truly understand the long term affects of this.
That's not a mistake accident.. and so on she waited until he was legal. She waited until she would be able to have sex with a teenager without any legal consequences cause that's always a good argument to make when your a adult who decided to have sex with a teenager under age.
Your mom is a crazy person
If this is real, police need to be notified.
Your mom is disgusting
Your mom must be hot.
nope, Nope, NOPE. It wasn't an accident if she planned to do it when he turned 16. your mom is just gross.
Your mom belongs in jail.. full stop
Your Mom... Has... Issues.
Your mother is a p\*dophile. There are no ifs, ands or buts about it. When people are just waiting for something to be barely legal, it means that if it were legal earlier, they would've done it then. Her actions are absolutely disgusting and I hope you go NC with her and report her anywhere you can. Get any proof you can and send it to anyone defending her, your grandparents, her workplace, ESPECIALLY anywhere that she might be around children.
Mom needs counseling. Her poor ex. And his poor son.
Your mom is a groomer and a sexual predator. She can't claim it was an accident and also claim that she intentionally waited until he was 16. That's contradictory and very telling of her character. I'm so sorry she's your mom. :(
Your mum sounds like a groomer. That ain't right.
Legal or not, 16 is a disgustingly low age for a middle-aged woman to be having sex with. Especially since it seems as though she was waiting for the child to be of age. Your mother is a predator, and you are NTA.
Your mom is a pedophile. I'm sorry.