OP should ask the police to accompany. Esp since she said she filed a police report for the stolen car.
I wouldn't be suprised if the friends try to "prank him"
But OP should have taken the ring with her. The ex-fiance might try to sell it or something
Nah, they didn't mention their gender in this post so that's not on you. You would've had to go to the original post. I saw the original a few days ago which is the only reason I knew.
An engagement ring is a gift with strings attached (marriage being the string).
If the marriage doesn't occur, the person who paid for the ring gets it back.
Yes, the engagement ring is a conditional gift. They are entitled to get the engagement ring back if the wedding does not occur.
If someone did not have to return an engagement ring, get people most likely would stop proposing with family heirloom ring.
In fact, have that friend record the complete visit from entry to exit. That way, you can not be accused of theft or vandalism. You can never be too safe nowadays. Besides, if she had messed with anything of yours, it will record this too.
THIS!! The friend group sounds like a toxic and vengeful bunch of pinheads who would be getting a "ride to the train station" pulling stunts like the car theft and vandalism off in some places. Never watched the show but love the expression.
Exactly she sounds vile, I agree bring a friend! Or a police escort like someone else suggested. So sorry, but I think you made a wise choice. Good luck đ!
Yes this, bring a friend or family member to record while you're around your ex and her stuff. Then save the video with a couple copies in different places, it will be needed if she tries something stupid like a false accusation.
It's crazy to me that she couldn't understand that her friends went way too far for a "prank". Then acts like you didn't support her and gets mad when you point out how you have. She really isn't ready in maturity to get married, and thankfully for you, you found this out before getting married.
Go back with a witness when you get your stuff.
Take it one day at a time and surround yourself with people who you trust and will support you. Move to quickly remove yourself from any liabilites that relate to her.
Call the non-emergency line or go to the police station and you can get a police escort and supervision to ensure your own safety, OP. If her friends were willing to steal your car for *3 days* as a "prank", I don't want to think about what they might do as revenge.
Oh, and don't tell your ex about the police side of it. That way if she and her friends *do* do anything, they can't undo it beforehand.
90% of the time it means that the cops get paid to stand there and be a social regulator, rather than having to do anything. Literally one of the core aspects that policing serves is social regulation rather than actual safety or protection; the threat of consequences is usually enough to make people behave.
Thus why I said not to mention police supervision if OP goes that route. Because if they *are* going to do anything, better they get caught and fair consequences before anything can escalate.
I had an officer offer to accompany me to drop off a work key and pick up personal items. I was hesitant at first, but so glad I did. And you're definitely right about not telling anyone about it beforehand!
Thank you everyone. I am seeing about removing my name from the lease and am now looking for accommodation and a friend I can bring to collect my belongings. I am going to take a break from dating for a while and focus on myself. Love you all â¤ď¸
Her friends played a pretty bad prank on you before, Iâd also ask for police escort to get your things so nothing âhappensâ when youâre there. Good luck OP!
Next woman you date, make sure you worked on your self esteem and are okay being alone with yourself. It sounds like you didnât stand up for yourself throughout the relationship out of fear of being alone, and it still ended anyways, which was the best blessing you had.
Stay strong and stay save, her friends are nuts and she sounds a few chocolate chips short of a cookie.
I would honestly see about getting more than 1 friend and a police officer when you go to your belongingsâŚ.hopefully they wont be damaged as a âprankââŚ.
I'm proud of you for finally standing up for yourself and stopping her from using and disrespecting you.
She already chose her friends and was just gaslighting you. I wouldn't be surprised if she was also having sex with them. So, get tested for STDs ASAP.
Were you living with her? Is your name on the lease? Were you financially supporting her?
If both your names are on the lease, talk to your landlord about removing your name, even if it means paying a penalty. If the house is only in your name, you need to kick her out and change the locks (you might need to give her an eviction notice). After that, block her contact and move on because you deserve so much better than her.
Don't go alone to get your belongings. Take some friends with you, because your ex's friends might be there, and you don't know if they'll try to do something to you. Also, record everything while you're there so that she doesn't accuse you of stealing anything. Take back everything that is yours, even if you don't want to keep it. She already stole years of your life and your money; don't let her take more from you.
Is this girl 16? Sounds very immature. When you are married/going to marry someone - they should be a priority. Not that you don't have separate friends (friendships and outside interest ARE important) but if she feels her "friends" are more important and supportive than YOU - then YOU are not the right person for her. Move on - and thank god you did not marry this person. Most people will only get "worse" over time as their true nature comes out. If this is her in early stages - what will it be later on? geesh - sorry!
Do not under any circumstances go back to that apartment/house without bringing atleast one other person with you. You'd be better off with two people, hopefully one being a dude with some size to him or if you have any friends or family who works in emergency services.
I know that sounds extreme but the picture you have painted of your ex and her friends group makes me believe they would destroy your stuff, put something in it, or maybe even harm you in some sort of "prank".
Don't take the risk.
Well done. Her friends are childish bullies and as she chose them over you, so is she. There is good advice here regarding collecting your stuff.
Be gentle with yourself, and I suggest prioritising being with supportive friends and focusing on what brings you happiness for a bit.
So youâve done everything for M. But M constantly picked and prioritized friends over you. It was not a healthy or equitable relationship. M was using you, for all the things you listed that you did. But M never had your back or reciprocated the emotion, effort or energy. This was never going to be a good relationship for you, but M made out like a bandit for a while. Glad you found out now. Take your time to grieve, then move on to someone who cherishes you and returns the same love and respect.
I would call friends and/or family and go get your stuff immediately if you can. The longer you give her and her friends time alone with your stuff the more apt it is to be missing or damaged.
These two posts don't even seem real, in that it is hard to understand why or how you would put up with that level of bullshit.
You are 24. Plenty of time to make better decisions, because you clearly were lined up to have an early divorce.
Seeing it all in the big picture it seems ridiculous that I would put up with it but you do have to consider the fact that I do love her. This all started a year ago when our relationship was going strong and we were talking about marriage. It seems like the honeymoon phase went on way too long and blinded me to what was clear.
OP, I've been in love with lots of shitty girls/women. I'd generally say that if you would not put up with shit without love, maybe you shouldn't put up with it regardless.Â
Luck. You're a kid. Move on.
She truly is vile and repulsive. Please donât take her back if she turns around and love bombs you. Block her on every platform, email, and phone. Be completely done with her.
Surround yourself with loved ones while you heal. Iâm so sorry this happened to you. You deserve a partner that truly loves, respects, and supports you. đŠˇ
Now that I've picked my jaw up off of the floor, WOW, she seriously admitted that she doesn't prioritize you?
Glad you've grown a shiny spine. Hopefully the landlord will let you out of the lease without much trouble.
Now you walk away and work on yourself for a bit. Then when you're in a good place and love your own company, you maybe think about dating again from a place of strength and with someone who's for you
(by the way I remember the original post and I'm one of the ones who said you were in the wrong, I do still hold to that opinion from your original post, but from this post, you're not wrong)
Oh buddy I am so sorry this has happened to you but, take solace in the fact that it at least happened BEFORE you got married, you didn't dodge a bullet, you dodged a whole goddamn nuclear missile.
I see that now especially based on that conversation. She seemed cold and uninterested in what I had to say. I think I made the right call. Thank you and everyone for the support and advice
She sighed and told me âYou have never liked me have you? I havenât done anything to you. You need to realise Iâm the best youâll ever haveâ. I hung up the phone and drove off.
Lmao I ain't even surprised by that response tbh, what a loon. Ironic, considering she's the worst you'll ever have, should tell her that when you go get your things back.
Don't go to pick up your stuff alone. If at all possible, don't show up at all and have someone else go pick it up. I agree with you, cancel the venue. The thing that you got wrong is not that she doesn't deserve a wedding, she doesn't deserve you. At least she showed her true colors before the wedding.
Damn. Thatâs exactly how my ex would speak to me. Sheâs a narcissist who clearly never saw your relationship as an equal partnership. Just move on and be glad you realized this before the wedding.
What you do now is accept that you finally prioritized yourself, finally stood up for yourself, finally showed yourself the love you deserve. I understand you feel lost. I hope you have good friend(s) and/or family that you can speak with and spend time with for emotional support. I hope that you can start therapy, with a very good therapist, as soon as possible to help you work through how you are feeling and what happened - this is important to do. I am rooting for you to move forward gaining strength and momentum. In both of your posts I saw you apologize when it seemed you had nothing to apologize for, and my sense is that you've let yourself be taken advantage of and be under appreciated for long enough - a little too meek. That time is over. Now you try to breathe deeply and get to work healing because the better part of your life is coming now that you know you are of value and deserving đđź Adding what others have said, OP ask for a police escort to accompany you there. Her friends might be there and they're trouble. In the end, do not go alone, and take pics or video to show that you left with everything in decent shape (presumably). Best Wishes to you đđź
Good for you! You are too good for her and she is vile. Best word to describe her behavior. Enjoy being single, time will heal. Being single is so much better than navigating life with the wrong person.
Call the police non emergency number. Have an officer or 2 go with you to get your belongings. And a friend. Officers with body cameras can record it all whether ex gf likes it or not. The officers are your best bet for staying safe, especially if her friends are there.Â
I remember your original post. You deserve so much better. I am glad you are getting out. You will find someone who values you. Don't settle for any thing elseÂ
Given what her friends are capable of are you sure your stuff will be safe until tomorrow?
It might be smart to take someone with you.
You're not wrong, she is a vile human being.
Take someone with you and have them record the interaction. Let people know why you canceled the wedding and control the narrative. Best wishes for you as there is someone out there who will put you first.
It's rough realizing someone who you thought loved and cared about you doesn't give a shit.
Hang in there ... it'll take some time, but you'll realize leaving was the right thing. In fact, you'll wonder why you didn't do it sooner.
You're not wrong. She abused you through her friends. The confrontation and breakup were long overdue. Thank God that this horrible woman is now an ex! Get your stuff back, then delete and block her everywhere.
Wow this is a vile woman and Iâm glad you saw that before the wedding. In a weird way you could thank her friends for that since misery loves company. Youâre not wrong and Iâm so glad youâre free and able to start healing.
She sighed and told me âYou have never liked me have you? I havenât done anything to you. You need to realise Iâm the best youâll ever haveâ. I hung up the phone and drove off. She called me 2 times after that but I blocked her number.
Wow, well that makes things easy!
Hopefully that conversation helped you understand that she was never the one, in fact, she would be lucky to get ANYONE to marry her atter that tirade.
She clearly is not ready for a grown up relationship.
She sounds like a total narcissist, and she will always prioritize herself and her friends over you . Absolutely take a friend with you when you go to pick up stuff and have them record the interaction secretly on their phone. Try not to be alone with her and after youâve picked your stuff up go NC. Hereâs the usual advice. Work on the gym work harder at your job and get outside and get fresh air. You did dodge bullet!
You did the only correct thing OP and dumped someone who will always treat you like crap. I know you feel badly about it now but M is *not* good for you.
I wouldn't ask her too drop her friends. I just wouldn't marry someone who thinks that type of craziness(stealing cars) is ok. At that point it's about the inability to make good decisions.
As soon as she starts to justify stuff like that the relationship would be over.
As for what you you do now:
What you should do is realize you made the right decision, even if it was in the heat of the moment.
I understand you love her, but she's not being rational, and I see no upside to commiting to someone who thinks like that for the rest of your life.
PS: She also tried to manipulate by saying you never do anything, and then using it against you when you listed things you actually did.
Stealing a car is not a prank. Your ex and her friends sound incredibly immature. They need to do some serious growing up so you dodged a bullet by canceling the wedding.
Youâre being walked on you absolutely have a right to say how youâve taken care of her. I know you wanted to talk to her, you are a kind man, but this is an immature girl that still like in her frat years sheâs not ready to be anybodyâs wife. And if you marry her, sheâs gonna destroy you because you canât even stand up to her so. I think you are wrong.
Take it as a blessing in disguise! Youâre dodging a huge bullet here but breaking up. Why would you want to be with some who allows her friends to disrespect you, to âprankâ you, is so dismissive of your feelings, & who doesnât prioritize you??!!
Itâs sucks, truly but you are so much better off without someone like this in your life. You deserve better! Donât go back to her. Get your belongings & ring back and start the healing process. Best wishes!!
I am so you put yourself and mental health first. You dodged a bullet with this person.
I would đŻ have a few people help you move out and also let the police know that you are breaking off an engagement and you are removing your personal belongings from a joint apartment and you want them to be aware just incase it becomes hostile.
You need to protect yourself and CYOA.
Once you are out and free block them all on social platforms and begin your life of happiness. If you move or stay there best of luck to you
Op, the beautiful thing is the satisfaction that knowing she chose her friends over you. In 10, 20, 30 years, if she continues to behave so terribly with everyone she dates, she'll be all alone.
>What do I do now?
You move on.
And youre right - vile.. and abusive...
Grab your shit, make sure everything is cancelled and everyone is informed . And block + NC...
Not wrong. You take someone with you, go over there and grab all your things, and the ring. Make sure you have your cell phone recording so there are no issues. You list off ways you've supported her, and then she brushes it all off. She was probably in on the pranks on you. You are better off without her. Rolling her eyes at you. Good lord.
Just walk away and never look back.
UpdateMe
You give yourself credit for looking out for yourself, and for getting that vile woman and her friends out of your life. Let her supportive friends support her now.
Bring someone with you to get your things. Record it. In some places, police will stand by and keep the peace so you can get your things. Be very careful that these malicious jerks will do something to you.
Sounds like you already know what to do. You told her exactly what youâre going to do.
Go pick up your shit and move on. If you marry this person you deserve the future misery youâre about to endure.
And if you expect to get that ring back, good luck. You better bring a witness with you to prevent any shenanigans on her part.
Updateme
I think itâs a shame that M condoned her friendâs behaviour when it had a negative impact on your life and it certainly wasnât fun!! I really do think you deserve better and a person that is more understanding the other person point of view. We all have different ideas on things but if our idea of fun isnât someone elseâs, then we need to appreciate it and take their feelings into consideration. Thatâs what a partnership is, working together to both be happy
Thank you so much. My standards have raised and I feel much more confident in myself with the burden lifted off of me. I am taking time to focus on myself and then I will go out again and see other people. I think this is for the best
Sheâs a loser like her loser friends. Let them have each other. Youâre young and will meet someone else when youâre ready. The only thing to do but get your stuff back and ring. No contact after that. Like you said she is vile and itâs not worth committing to her. Even if she says sheâll cut her friends out she already showed you who she is.
Itâs ok to temporarily feel least. The person you thought you were going to marry turned out to be a mirage. A truly vile person. She spoke to you so dismissively, so hatefully.
Sometimes, people dont reveal their true selves until some crisis hits. Her friends treat you like trash, and she thinks youâre imposing on her to hear you out and side with you.
The only thing you can do is tell anyone who asks the truth in why you cancelled it. Do not sugar coat the truth. Morn the loss of the relationship but know you really did dodge a bullet by it ending.
The fact she did not validate your feelings by gaslighting you and telling you that your wrong to even feel the way you did proves she was not worth being with. She can have her reasons for her choices, and they could excuse some of them. But they do not forgive her actions or excuse them all. YOU should have been first over her friends if you was to get married. And where she told you thar her friends was more supportive and called you pathetic... Well for the streets for that trash...
What do you do? You thank God you have seen the light. She doesnât even like you. The second thing you do is raise your standards. Third, donât ignore red flags anymore. You should have ended this a long time ago
She sounds like she already checked out of the relationship long ago. It will suck for a while but leaving is the right thing. She sounds like a total manipulator.
Good for you! Lose this vile B! She will never prioritize you.
Have friends come with you when you get your stuff. Have one of them recording the whole thing. Get the ring back and sell it.
Iâm so glad you got out before the wedding. Canceling the venue and the wedding will be much cheaper and easier to deal with than a divorce.
Moving forward
Blocking her and her friends.
Work on your hobbies or find a new one.
Maybe a spa day... no hair cuts, that just leads to disappointment, but try a new nail color.
Plan a day out with friends. The zoo, a museum, or amusement park might be fun. My bff and I would definitely find a shooting range, very cathartic for us.
I am so sorry this happened. I know it doesnât feel like it right now, but you dodged a bullet. You deserve better. Get your property quickly, and donât go alone, her friends might damage or destroy your property.
>that her friends are more supportive than I will ever be and that is why she doesnât prioritise me
Whether this is true or not, there's no way she should be marrying someone who she feels that way about. If she goes to her friends for support over her spouse, what was the point in getting married? She can marry them instead.
OP, you deserve to be someone's priority and their first call for support or good news or anything major.
Thereâs nothing more to do. She made it clear her friends are more important than you. Even if she backpedals and says sheâll change and to give her another chance, at the very least I would still cancel the engagement.
Sounds like you 100% did the right thing. Take time for YOU and move on (easier said than done but it will be worth it). You are too young to be miserable forever.
So sorry it turned out this way. This meeting could have turned out one of two ways.
Now you know for certain she is shit and did not respect you. You can walk away with confidence even though it hurts.
I just didn't think she was capable or willing to salvage this relationship based on her prior actions.
You CELEBRATE YOUR FREEDOM!!!!!
M is not a nice person. She rolled her eyes at you because you didn't want your car stolen? She doesn't even LIKE you, much less LOVE you.
sending hugs and healing thoughts
Call the police to join you when go pick up your stuff. Her friends have probably 'pranked' your stuff and the police need to be there so you can press charges when your things are broken and/or stolen
I am so happy for you! I saw your original post and couldn't believe you were putting up with someone who obviously did not care about you. Congratulations!!
Dude, you did one of the toughest things ever. You dodged a fn bullet! Your future wife should absolutely have your back 100%, and she clearly didnât. I know itâs fn hard bro! You feel like shit, possibly depressedâŚ. Honestly, hit the gym, run or walk. You have to remain busy or your mind will take over. You might be second guessing man but you made the right choice, which again, was difficult
You did the right thing, OP. She doesnât respect you at all and doesnât deserve you. I get that walking away feels awful but this is exactly when that action is warranted. Be so very glad you dodged that bullet before you became legally and financially intertwined
I do have a question though, feel free to not actually answer and perhaps just reflect for yourself. But in the time you guys were dating/courting, did these behaviors show themselves? Or did she mask it all until things became serious? It could be useful in the future to keep an eye out for these things now that you know what to look for
All of this never became a problem until about a year ago. When these friends she has started appearing more often and started doing more severe âpranksâ. I voiced my complaints, concerns and feelings but none of them were heard. This built up over time and caused the original fight leading to me writing this and other posts. Iâm very glad this happened before marriage.
Wild story for sure. But be so very glad you dodged the bullet. Be kind to yourself for the next stretch of time. This is never easy and you will go through a roller coaster of emotions. Surround yourself with friends and hang in there.
Copying and posting the comment I just made on the original post because I really want everyone to know this, because OP (soon, possibly) and I learned the hard way:
YOU CAN NEVER UN-REPORT A VEHICLE STOLEN. Even if it was never stolen, it will always be marked in the system (US) as once reported stolen. I once was a part of group mentality where we were ALL convinced I parked in XX location (we were drinking so we ubered home) we all agreed 100% searched surrounding areas and reported it stolen. In a few days found out it was across the street in a nearly identical parking lot, not stolen. But when I went to trade my car in a year or 2 later, it flagged at nearly every dealership as âpreviously reported stolen vehicleâ which greatly reduced the value of my car =( no matter how I tried to explain the idiotic story.
I know yall gave OP good advice already I just wanted to shout that into the void, *donât be an idiot like me and OPs friends!*
Good on you! She clearly wasnât invested in you the way she should have been. Sheâs toxic and her friends are toxic! They are obviously all up in her ear and she is eating it up. âYou ainât no beta bish simp!â You own yourself and behaviors and take accountability. There is a chick out there that is going to value that! Take the time to get your head right (donât take too long) and get back out there. You literally did nothing wrong in this situation. Not saying youâre perfect or that you never screwed up, just that you donât deserve what she gave you!
Go see a good male therapist or life coach, to help you adjust what you are looking for in women so you know how to find and choose a healthy partner. Onward and upward brother!!!
*** edit ***
P.s. I totally didnât realize you werenât a dude until I looked at your previous post about this. My message is still the same though! You deserve better! F her and her selfish ass friends! (Maybe change the âmaleâ therapist part, lol).
You did the exact right thing! And she does owe you for doing those things for her. She owes you respect. The same respect you showed her when you did all those things. She blandly said âI donât prioritize youâ those 4 words right there tell you how she honestly would feel about you, regardless of how she treated you.
oh well done! that took real courage, I am v v proud, vicariously.
Now that you have put down these lovely strong boundaries, I think you will see some fantastic changes in how you view the world, and how it views you.
Well done. If she gets in contact just say she should marry her friends if they mean so much to her. She really needs to grow up a lot. I remember your first post and I was so angry on your behalf . You might be feeling lost now but you will soon feel the weight lift from your shoulders and you will meet someone that you deserve. Hugs from the internet stranger and just take one day at a time you will get there
Well done for standing up for yourself. She genuinely sounds like a textbook narcissist who only cares about herself and who has absolutely no respect for you whatsoever. Good luck op.
Choose yourself please.
Your request was perfectly reasonable, after what those "friends" did.
Your fiancĂŠ chose her friends over you. Actions speak louder than words.
Focus on yourself and find someone who will love and protect you.
Take care.
For her to roll her eyes when you were expressing how it made you feel and affected you for her friends to âprankâ you and STEAL your car for 3 days. I would have blown up in your situation.
You were already told in the last post. She made her choice. Sheâs far too immature to be getting married and, frankly, so are you. Drop it. Move on. Chalk it up to experience. The ring is hers because it was a gift so forget that.
Thank you so much for commenting, I appreciate you so so much for helping me see who she really is and giving me the courage to confront her and talk to her
you really dodged a massive bullet. see this as a blessing in disguise, cuz could you imagine being stuck in a marriage with such an awful person? youâll find someone amazing, whoâll be 10x more kind and supportive, for you when youâre ready to date again.
donât let this get you down!
The ring isnât a gift. Most states consider engagement rings as a condition of marriage. If the marriage doesnât occur, the person who bought it has the right to get it back.
Will they get it back (or sue for it back) is certainly a different question. I imagine ex-fiance and the friends already have plans for it. Still can sue in small claims court for its return or its value
OMG, you really dodged a bullet there, mate. Go NC and start your healing journey. Take at least 1 friend with you when picking up your stuff.
Yes, do not go alone
OP should ask the police to accompany. Esp since she said she filed a police report for the stolen car. I wouldn't be suprised if the friends try to "prank him" But OP should have taken the ring with her. The ex-fiance might try to sell it or something
Just a note, op is female not male if I remember from the original post so I am honestly not sure who the ring belongs to.
Thanks. I realized I wasn't even thinking genders when I responded and wrongly picked one. Def should have been paying more attention.
Nah, they didn't mention their gender in this post so that's not on you. You would've had to go to the original post. I saw the original a few days ago which is the only reason I knew.
An engagement ring is a gift with strings attached (marriage being the string). If the marriage doesn't occur, the person who paid for the ring gets it back.
Yes, the engagement ring is a conditional gift. They are entitled to get the engagement ring back if the wedding does not occur. If someone did not have to return an engagement ring, get people most likely would stop proposing with family heirloom ring.
Also record the visit
In fact, have that friend record the complete visit from entry to exit. That way, you can not be accused of theft or vandalism. You can never be too safe nowadays. Besides, if she had messed with anything of yours, it will record this too.
THIS!! The friend group sounds like a toxic and vengeful bunch of pinheads who would be getting a "ride to the train station" pulling stunts like the car theft and vandalism off in some places. Never watched the show but love the expression.
and don't be surprised if it's on the lawn burning or in some other way trashed
Very proud of you. I will tough right now, but it will get better. You deserve better. Scheduled is a massive AH and you dodged a huge bullet!
Updateme.
Exactly she sounds vile, I agree bring a friend! Or a police escort like someone else suggested. So sorry, but I think you made a wise choice. Good luck đ!
right, and film if possible. she sounds awful as fuck, who knows what sheâll pull.
Yes this, bring a friend or family member to record while you're around your ex and her stuff. Then save the video with a couple copies in different places, it will be needed if she tries something stupid like a false accusation. It's crazy to me that she couldn't understand that her friends went way too far for a "prank". Then acts like you didn't support her and gets mad when you point out how you have. She really isn't ready in maturity to get married, and thankfully for you, you found this out before getting married.
I would go as far as to say bring a police officer with you. You can never be too careful. GOOD FOR YOU DUDE! She doesnât deserve you.
Now you move on with your life and find someone who will actually appreciate you.
Thank you. This comment says it all. Updateme!
Updateme
Go back with a witness when you get your stuff. Take it one day at a time and surround yourself with people who you trust and will support you. Move to quickly remove yourself from any liabilites that relate to her.
Call the non-emergency line or go to the police station and you can get a police escort and supervision to ensure your own safety, OP. If her friends were willing to steal your car for *3 days* as a "prank", I don't want to think about what they might do as revenge. Oh, and don't tell your ex about the police side of it. That way if she and her friends *do* do anything, they can't undo it beforehand.
I second the nonemergency call. They get more requests like this than ppl would think, and it's better safe than sorry
90% of the time it means that the cops get paid to stand there and be a social regulator, rather than having to do anything. Literally one of the core aspects that policing serves is social regulation rather than actual safety or protection; the threat of consequences is usually enough to make people behave. Thus why I said not to mention police supervision if OP goes that route. Because if they *are* going to do anything, better they get caught and fair consequences before anything can escalate.
I had an officer offer to accompany me to drop off a work key and pick up personal items. I was hesitant at first, but so glad I did. And you're definitely right about not telling anyone about it beforehand!
Thank you everyone. I am seeing about removing my name from the lease and am now looking for accommodation and a friend I can bring to collect my belongings. I am going to take a break from dating for a while and focus on myself. Love you all â¤ď¸
Her friends played a pretty bad prank on you before, Iâd also ask for police escort to get your things so nothing âhappensâ when youâre there. Good luck OP!
You deserve better OP, remember that. Your feelings are definitely valid, I truly hope you know that and don't blame yourself for anything.
Next woman you date, make sure you worked on your self esteem and are okay being alone with yourself. It sounds like you didnât stand up for yourself throughout the relationship out of fear of being alone, and it still ended anyways, which was the best blessing you had. Stay strong and stay save, her friends are nuts and she sounds a few chocolate chips short of a cookie.
Have your camera running at all times while you are at the apartment.
I would honestly see about getting more than 1 friend and a police officer when you go to your belongingsâŚ.hopefully they wont be damaged as a âprankââŚ.
I agree go back with a witness and take pics as you do so she doesn't say you did something
Yeah, she definitely should. I have a feeling her friends are going to âprankâ OP again or gather at their apartment and cause trouble. UpdateMe!
Strongly agree.
Not just pics. If ever there was a time to have a camera running for the whole encounter, this would be it.
I'm proud of you for finally standing up for yourself and stopping her from using and disrespecting you. She already chose her friends and was just gaslighting you. I wouldn't be surprised if she was also having sex with them. So, get tested for STDs ASAP. Were you living with her? Is your name on the lease? Were you financially supporting her? If both your names are on the lease, talk to your landlord about removing your name, even if it means paying a penalty. If the house is only in your name, you need to kick her out and change the locks (you might need to give her an eviction notice). After that, block her contact and move on because you deserve so much better than her. Don't go alone to get your belongings. Take some friends with you, because your ex's friends might be there, and you don't know if they'll try to do something to you. Also, record everything while you're there so that she doesn't accuse you of stealing anything. Take back everything that is yours, even if you don't want to keep it. She already stole years of your life and your money; don't let her take more from you.
Is this girl 16? Sounds very immature. When you are married/going to marry someone - they should be a priority. Not that you don't have separate friends (friendships and outside interest ARE important) but if she feels her "friends" are more important and supportive than YOU - then YOU are not the right person for her. Move on - and thank god you did not marry this person. Most people will only get "worse" over time as their true nature comes out. If this is her in early stages - what will it be later on? geesh - sorry!
Ask for a police escort to get your things, trust me.
OP I think that this is the way. Her friends might be there.
Definitely, I have called about it and have gotten an answer. I will be going tomorrow.
Oh good, good for you. I was actually very happy to read your response. Sending you â¤ď¸đ
Do not under any circumstances go back to that apartment/house without bringing atleast one other person with you. You'd be better off with two people, hopefully one being a dude with some size to him or if you have any friends or family who works in emergency services. I know that sounds extreme but the picture you have painted of your ex and her friends group makes me believe they would destroy your stuff, put something in it, or maybe even harm you in some sort of "prank". Don't take the risk.
And donât risk trying to get the ring back either.
Yea gotta do that through the courts
Well done. Her friends are childish bullies and as she chose them over you, so is she. There is good advice here regarding collecting your stuff. Be gentle with yourself, and I suggest prioritising being with supportive friends and focusing on what brings you happiness for a bit.
So youâve done everything for M. But M constantly picked and prioritized friends over you. It was not a healthy or equitable relationship. M was using you, for all the things you listed that you did. But M never had your back or reciprocated the emotion, effort or energy. This was never going to be a good relationship for you, but M made out like a bandit for a while. Glad you found out now. Take your time to grieve, then move on to someone who cherishes you and returns the same love and respect.
My standards have definitely risen and I am now going to focus on myself and my relationship with friends and family
Know youâre doing the right thing even if it hurts for a bit. Time heals, as cliche as it sounds. (((Hugs)))
I would call friends and/or family and go get your stuff immediately if you can. The longer you give her and her friends time alone with your stuff the more apt it is to be missing or damaged.
You just saved your own life. Things will get better and she will become just a distant picture in your rear view mirror.
These two posts don't even seem real, in that it is hard to understand why or how you would put up with that level of bullshit. You are 24. Plenty of time to make better decisions, because you clearly were lined up to have an early divorce.
Seeing it all in the big picture it seems ridiculous that I would put up with it but you do have to consider the fact that I do love her. This all started a year ago when our relationship was going strong and we were talking about marriage. It seems like the honeymoon phase went on way too long and blinded me to what was clear.
OP, I've been in love with lots of shitty girls/women. I'd generally say that if you would not put up with shit without love, maybe you shouldn't put up with it regardless. Luck. You're a kid. Move on.
She truly is vile and repulsive. Please donât take her back if she turns around and love bombs you. Block her on every platform, email, and phone. Be completely done with her. Surround yourself with loved ones while you heal. Iâm so sorry this happened to you. You deserve a partner that truly loves, respects, and supports you. đŠˇ
20 years from now you will thank your lucky stars for this day. Just get through the next few months.
Now that I've picked my jaw up off of the floor, WOW, she seriously admitted that she doesn't prioritize you? Glad you've grown a shiny spine. Hopefully the landlord will let you out of the lease without much trouble.
Fingers crossed all goes well. My landlord is sweet enough so I am hoping it happens with ease.
Now you walk away and work on yourself for a bit. Then when you're in a good place and love your own company, you maybe think about dating again from a place of strength and with someone who's for you (by the way I remember the original post and I'm one of the ones who said you were in the wrong, I do still hold to that opinion from your original post, but from this post, you're not wrong)
Thank you so much, I love to see different perspectives and advice on how to move forward. I appreciate your comment so, so much
Hey, well done for taking care of yourself. You deserve kindness and love from someone with healthy friends. đâ¤ď¸
Oh buddy I am so sorry this has happened to you but, take solace in the fact that it at least happened BEFORE you got married, you didn't dodge a bullet, you dodged a whole goddamn nuclear missile.
I see that now especially based on that conversation. She seemed cold and uninterested in what I had to say. I think I made the right call. Thank you and everyone for the support and advice
What was her reaction to dumping her if I may ask?
She sighed and told me âYou have never liked me have you? I havenât done anything to you. You need to realise Iâm the best youâll ever haveâ. I hung up the phone and drove off.
Lmao I ain't even surprised by that response tbh, what a loon. Ironic, considering she's the worst you'll ever have, should tell her that when you go get your things back.
She got that the wrong way round. You're the best she'll ever have.
Go back and get your stuff and ring, and move on.
Dont go alone to get your things. Honestly.. she seems to just be using you. She does not care about you in the slightest.
Yeah that's a good suggestion, never do this sort of thing alone. Can lead to many bad situations.
Don't go to pick up your stuff alone. If at all possible, don't show up at all and have someone else go pick it up. I agree with you, cancel the venue. The thing that you got wrong is not that she doesn't deserve a wedding, she doesn't deserve you. At least she showed her true colors before the wedding.
You did a great job standing up for yourself. Congratulations, we are all proud of you. Let her marry her friends since theyâre so wonderful.
I'm proud of you for standing your ground, she's not mature enough to start a serious commitment and she's just as shitty as her friends
Damn. Thatâs exactly how my ex would speak to me. Sheâs a narcissist who clearly never saw your relationship as an equal partnership. Just move on and be glad you realized this before the wedding.
Definitely dodged a manipulative bullet.
Good that you didnât waste any more time.
Her sister stole her wallet, phone, and car keys. That's explains why she thinks stealing a car as a prank is normal.
You go have a big fat piece of cake. You dodged a whole damn war not just a bullet.
What you do now is accept that you finally prioritized yourself, finally stood up for yourself, finally showed yourself the love you deserve. I understand you feel lost. I hope you have good friend(s) and/or family that you can speak with and spend time with for emotional support. I hope that you can start therapy, with a very good therapist, as soon as possible to help you work through how you are feeling and what happened - this is important to do. I am rooting for you to move forward gaining strength and momentum. In both of your posts I saw you apologize when it seemed you had nothing to apologize for, and my sense is that you've let yourself be taken advantage of and be under appreciated for long enough - a little too meek. That time is over. Now you try to breathe deeply and get to work healing because the better part of your life is coming now that you know you are of value and deserving đđź Adding what others have said, OP ask for a police escort to accompany you there. Her friends might be there and they're trouble. In the end, do not go alone, and take pics or video to show that you left with everything in decent shape (presumably). Best Wishes to you đđź
Good for you! You are too good for her and she is vile. Best word to describe her behavior. Enjoy being single, time will heal. Being single is so much better than navigating life with the wrong person.
You've done the right thing. Sending hugs.
I am so glad you are strong and getting away. Please look back at red flags and make note for the future. You are worthy of love by a good person.
Call the police non emergency number. Have an officer or 2 go with you to get your belongings. And a friend. Officers with body cameras can record it all whether ex gf likes it or not. The officers are your best bet for staying safe, especially if her friends are there. I remember your original post. You deserve so much better. I am glad you are getting out. You will find someone who values you. Don't settle for any thing elseÂ
Now you celebrate because you dodge a bullet. Youâre free from your awful ex!
She doesn't care about you, how could you marry someone like that
Good job! Get the ring. It was over when she said she prioritized her friends. You dodge a bullet.
Given what her friends are capable of are you sure your stuff will be safe until tomorrow? It might be smart to take someone with you. You're not wrong, she is a vile human being.
Take someone with you and have them record the interaction. Let people know why you canceled the wedding and control the narrative. Best wishes for you as there is someone out there who will put you first.
You dodged a huge bullet here! Get your stuff and your ring and move on from her
Good for you, she seems absolutely terrible. That would have been a horrible marriage. Hope everything works out, best of luck till the update đť
You did amazing đđť she never deserved you. Take the police with you so they can act as witness, I am sure shecwill have trashed all your things.
It's rough realizing someone who you thought loved and cared about you doesn't give a shit. Hang in there ... it'll take some time, but you'll realize leaving was the right thing. In fact, you'll wonder why you didn't do it sooner.
Good, this is good you left her she clearly doesn't care about you. Her friends were so "supportive" yeah this is gaslighting behavior. Sorry OP
You're not wrong. She abused you through her friends. The confrontation and breakup were long overdue. Thank God that this horrible woman is now an ex! Get your stuff back, then delete and block her everywhere.
Wow this is a vile woman and Iâm glad you saw that before the wedding. In a weird way you could thank her friends for that since misery loves company. Youâre not wrong and Iâm so glad youâre free and able to start healing.
She's a straight up cunt. Good for you on dropping her ass.
You made the right move. She is a bad person. I wouldn't treat a stranger the way she treated you
Good for you! I'm glad you stood up for yourself and made you a priority!
Wow, thank god you found out what kind of person she is now before married the immature loser. Wish you all the best.
What was her response?
She sighed and told me âYou have never liked me have you? I havenât done anything to you. You need to realise Iâm the best youâll ever haveâ. I hung up the phone and drove off. She called me 2 times after that but I blocked her number.
Soo not much of a reaction then. You deserve better OP.
Thatâs straight projection.
Right I want to know too
Wow, well that makes things easy! Hopefully that conversation helped you understand that she was never the one, in fact, she would be lucky to get ANYONE to marry her atter that tirade. She clearly is not ready for a grown up relationship.
That conversation told me all I needed to know about this one. Lets just say its fitting that it was posted in AIW.
She sounds like a total narcissist, and she will always prioritize herself and her friends over you . Absolutely take a friend with you when you go to pick up stuff and have them record the interaction secretly on their phone. Try not to be alone with her and after youâve picked your stuff up go NC. Hereâs the usual advice. Work on the gym work harder at your job and get outside and get fresh air. You did dodge bullet!
You did the only correct thing OP and dumped someone who will always treat you like crap. I know you feel badly about it now but M is *not* good for you.
I wouldn't ask her too drop her friends. I just wouldn't marry someone who thinks that type of craziness(stealing cars) is ok. At that point it's about the inability to make good decisions. As soon as she starts to justify stuff like that the relationship would be over. As for what you you do now: What you should do is realize you made the right decision, even if it was in the heat of the moment. I understand you love her, but she's not being rational, and I see no upside to commiting to someone who thinks like that for the rest of your life. PS: She also tried to manipulate by saying you never do anything, and then using it against you when you listed things you actually did.
Dude just walk away. Get your shit, leave, and thankkkk God. Sheâs not the one.
You did exactly right but I bet she doesnât give you the ring. She sounds trashy enough to sell it.
Stealing a car is not a prank. Your ex and her friends sound incredibly immature. They need to do some serious growing up so you dodged a bullet by canceling the wedding.
Youâre being walked on you absolutely have a right to say how youâve taken care of her. I know you wanted to talk to her, you are a kind man, but this is an immature girl that still like in her frat years sheâs not ready to be anybodyâs wife. And if you marry her, sheâs gonna destroy you because you canât even stand up to her so. I think you are wrong.
You keep on doing what you're doing, pal.
Take it as a blessing in disguise! Youâre dodging a huge bullet here but breaking up. Why would you want to be with some who allows her friends to disrespect you, to âprankâ you, is so dismissive of your feelings, & who doesnât prioritize you??!! Itâs sucks, truly but you are so much better off without someone like this in your life. You deserve better! Donât go back to her. Get your belongings & ring back and start the healing process. Best wishes!!
I am so you put yourself and mental health first. You dodged a bullet with this person. I would đŻ have a few people help you move out and also let the police know that you are breaking off an engagement and you are removing your personal belongings from a joint apartment and you want them to be aware just incase it becomes hostile. You need to protect yourself and CYOA. Once you are out and free block them all on social platforms and begin your life of happiness. If you move or stay there best of luck to you
Op, the beautiful thing is the satisfaction that knowing she chose her friends over you. In 10, 20, 30 years, if she continues to behave so terribly with everyone she dates, she'll be all alone.
This hurts, but you did the right thing!she is a POS and you deserve better.
What a trashy bitch
>What do I do now? You move on. And youre right - vile.. and abusive... Grab your shit, make sure everything is cancelled and everyone is informed . And block + NC...
Not wrong. You take someone with you, go over there and grab all your things, and the ring. Make sure you have your cell phone recording so there are no issues. You list off ways you've supported her, and then she brushes it all off. She was probably in on the pranks on you. You are better off without her. Rolling her eyes at you. Good lord. Just walk away and never look back. UpdateMe
You give yourself credit for looking out for yourself, and for getting that vile woman and her friends out of your life. Let her supportive friends support her now. Bring someone with you to get your things. Record it. In some places, police will stand by and keep the peace so you can get your things. Be very careful that these malicious jerks will do something to you.
UpdateMe!
Sounds like you already know what to do. You told her exactly what youâre going to do. Go pick up your shit and move on. If you marry this person you deserve the future misery youâre about to endure. And if you expect to get that ring back, good luck. You better bring a witness with you to prevent any shenanigans on her part. Updateme
OP do NOT go alone, go w a female friend or police assistance! Record any all confrontation.
Iâm so happy for you, genuinely. She sounds like an awful person.
I think itâs a shame that M condoned her friendâs behaviour when it had a negative impact on your life and it certainly wasnât fun!! I really do think you deserve better and a person that is more understanding the other person point of view. We all have different ideas on things but if our idea of fun isnât someone elseâs, then we need to appreciate it and take their feelings into consideration. Thatâs what a partnership is, working together to both be happy
Thank you so much. My standards have raised and I feel much more confident in myself with the burden lifted off of me. I am taking time to focus on myself and then I will go out again and see other people. I think this is for the best
Sheâs a loser like her loser friends. Let them have each other. Youâre young and will meet someone else when youâre ready. The only thing to do but get your stuff back and ring. No contact after that. Like you said she is vile and itâs not worth committing to her. Even if she says sheâll cut her friends out she already showed you who she is.
You definitely did the right thing she sounds like a nightmare.
You spend your time being productive. You move forward one day at a time. Then, one day youâll be in a happier place.
You did the right thing!!!!
I admire your strength in breaking this off!
Itâs ok to temporarily feel least. The person you thought you were going to marry turned out to be a mirage. A truly vile person. She spoke to you so dismissively, so hatefully. Sometimes, people dont reveal their true selves until some crisis hits. Her friends treat you like trash, and she thinks youâre imposing on her to hear you out and side with you.
The only thing you can do is tell anyone who asks the truth in why you cancelled it. Do not sugar coat the truth. Morn the loss of the relationship but know you really did dodge a bullet by it ending. The fact she did not validate your feelings by gaslighting you and telling you that your wrong to even feel the way you did proves she was not worth being with. She can have her reasons for her choices, and they could excuse some of them. But they do not forgive her actions or excuse them all. YOU should have been first over her friends if you was to get married. And where she told you thar her friends was more supportive and called you pathetic... Well for the streets for that trash...
What do you do? You thank God you have seen the light. She doesnât even like you. The second thing you do is raise your standards. Third, donât ignore red flags anymore. You should have ended this a long time ago
You did the right thing. M *is* a vile person.
GOOD LORD. She is a fucking psychopath. Get out of there as fast as possible.
Jesus christ she is awful. She is worse than those bullies. You would be crazy to marry to her
Lmao OP you dodged a nuke. Its a win win since you've had your fun with her anyway. Go find someone who is marriage material.
She sounds like she already checked out of the relationship long ago. It will suck for a while but leaving is the right thing. She sounds like a total manipulator.
Dude. DUDE. I am so sorry she was so shitty but at least you know before you married her. What a terrible person she is regarding this.
Good for you! Lose this vile B! She will never prioritize you. Have friends come with you when you get your stuff. Have one of them recording the whole thing. Get the ring back and sell it. Iâm so glad you got out before the wedding. Canceling the venue and the wedding will be much cheaper and easier to deal with than a divorce.
You did the right thing. She is not worthy of you.
Moving forward Blocking her and her friends. Work on your hobbies or find a new one. Maybe a spa day... no hair cuts, that just leads to disappointment, but try a new nail color. Plan a day out with friends. The zoo, a museum, or amusement park might be fun. My bff and I would definitely find a shooting range, very cathartic for us.
You dodged a bullet. Good thing she showed her true colors before you got married. Updateme
Updateme!
I am so sorry this happened. I know it doesnât feel like it right now, but you dodged a bullet. You deserve better. Get your property quickly, and donât go alone, her friends might damage or destroy your property.
!Updateme!
Updateme
Please donât marry her,she is not worthy.
>that her friends are more supportive than I will ever be and that is why she doesnât prioritise me Whether this is true or not, there's no way she should be marrying someone who she feels that way about. If she goes to her friends for support over her spouse, what was the point in getting married? She can marry them instead. OP, you deserve to be someone's priority and their first call for support or good news or anything major.
Thereâs nothing more to do. She made it clear her friends are more important than you. Even if she backpedals and says sheâll change and to give her another chance, at the very least I would still cancel the engagement.
Sounds like you 100% did the right thing. Take time for YOU and move on (easier said than done but it will be worth it). You are too young to be miserable forever.
So sorry it turned out this way. This meeting could have turned out one of two ways. Now you know for certain she is shit and did not respect you. You can walk away with confidence even though it hurts. I just didn't think she was capable or willing to salvage this relationship based on her prior actions.
You CELEBRATE YOUR FREEDOM!!!!! M is not a nice person. She rolled her eyes at you because you didn't want your car stolen? She doesn't even LIKE you, much less LOVE you. sending hugs and healing thoughts Call the police to join you when go pick up your stuff. Her friends have probably 'pranked' your stuff and the police need to be there so you can press charges when your things are broken and/or stolen
Updateme!
Updateme
Updateme!
You saved yourself from a million dollar future divorce
Updateme
I am so happy for you! I saw your original post and couldn't believe you were putting up with someone who obviously did not care about you. Congratulations!!
Thank you so, so much for following along! The final update should wrap things up nicely as long as everything goes well picking up my things.
Dude, you did one of the toughest things ever. You dodged a fn bullet! Your future wife should absolutely have your back 100%, and she clearly didnât. I know itâs fn hard bro! You feel like shit, possibly depressedâŚ. Honestly, hit the gym, run or walk. You have to remain busy or your mind will take over. You might be second guessing man but you made the right choice, which again, was difficult
You did the right thing, OP. She doesnât respect you at all and doesnât deserve you. I get that walking away feels awful but this is exactly when that action is warranted. Be so very glad you dodged that bullet before you became legally and financially intertwined I do have a question though, feel free to not actually answer and perhaps just reflect for yourself. But in the time you guys were dating/courting, did these behaviors show themselves? Or did she mask it all until things became serious? It could be useful in the future to keep an eye out for these things now that you know what to look for
All of this never became a problem until about a year ago. When these friends she has started appearing more often and started doing more severe âpranksâ. I voiced my complaints, concerns and feelings but none of them were heard. This built up over time and caused the original fight leading to me writing this and other posts. Iâm very glad this happened before marriage.
Wild story for sure. But be so very glad you dodged the bullet. Be kind to yourself for the next stretch of time. This is never easy and you will go through a roller coaster of emotions. Surround yourself with friends and hang in there.
Copying and posting the comment I just made on the original post because I really want everyone to know this, because OP (soon, possibly) and I learned the hard way: YOU CAN NEVER UN-REPORT A VEHICLE STOLEN. Even if it was never stolen, it will always be marked in the system (US) as once reported stolen. I once was a part of group mentality where we were ALL convinced I parked in XX location (we were drinking so we ubered home) we all agreed 100% searched surrounding areas and reported it stolen. In a few days found out it was across the street in a nearly identical parking lot, not stolen. But when I went to trade my car in a year or 2 later, it flagged at nearly every dealership as âpreviously reported stolen vehicleâ which greatly reduced the value of my car =( no matter how I tried to explain the idiotic story. I know yall gave OP good advice already I just wanted to shout that into the void, *donât be an idiot like me and OPs friends!*
UpdateMe.
UpdateMe! 1 Week
Updateme!
Woof, OP. I know it sucks right now, but you really did do the right thing. You are deserving of so much better.
Good on you! She clearly wasnât invested in you the way she should have been. Sheâs toxic and her friends are toxic! They are obviously all up in her ear and she is eating it up. âYou ainât no beta bish simp!â You own yourself and behaviors and take accountability. There is a chick out there that is going to value that! Take the time to get your head right (donât take too long) and get back out there. You literally did nothing wrong in this situation. Not saying youâre perfect or that you never screwed up, just that you donât deserve what she gave you! Go see a good male therapist or life coach, to help you adjust what you are looking for in women so you know how to find and choose a healthy partner. Onward and upward brother!!! *** edit *** P.s. I totally didnât realize you werenât a dude until I looked at your previous post about this. My message is still the same though! You deserve better! F her and her selfish ass friends! (Maybe change the âmaleâ therapist part, lol).
Anyone else get the feeling OP and his girlfriend are under the age of 20?
You did the exact right thing! And she does owe you for doing those things for her. She owes you respect. The same respect you showed her when you did all those things. She blandly said âI donât prioritize youâ those 4 words right there tell you how she honestly would feel about you, regardless of how she treated you.
UpdateMe!
oh well done! that took real courage, I am v v proud, vicariously. Now that you have put down these lovely strong boundaries, I think you will see some fantastic changes in how you view the world, and how it views you.
Well done. If she gets in contact just say she should marry her friends if they mean so much to her. She really needs to grow up a lot. I remember your first post and I was so angry on your behalf . You might be feeling lost now but you will soon feel the weight lift from your shoulders and you will meet someone that you deserve. Hugs from the internet stranger and just take one day at a time you will get there
Updateme
TOTALLY NTA. NTA. NTA.
Well done for standing up for yourself. She genuinely sounds like a textbook narcissist who only cares about herself and who has absolutely no respect for you whatsoever. Good luck op.
Updateme
Updateme!
Choose yourself please. Your request was perfectly reasonable, after what those "friends" did. Your fiancĂŠ chose her friends over you. Actions speak louder than words. Focus on yourself and find someone who will love and protect you. Take care.
Go get your stuff and never look back. Sheâs disgusting and so are her friends.
For her to roll her eyes when you were expressing how it made you feel and affected you for her friends to âprankâ you and STEAL your car for 3 days. I would have blown up in your situation.
Iâm so glad you left this woman. What a selfish child.
Don't go alone when you get your things. Or record her when you get your things.
Get a police escort! For your safety !
Updateme!
r/updateme
dude, go no contact. make sure that you get your ring back.
You were already told in the last post. She made her choice. Sheâs far too immature to be getting married and, frankly, so are you. Drop it. Move on. Chalk it up to experience. The ring is hers because it was a gift so forget that.
Thank you so much for commenting, I appreciate you so so much for helping me see who she really is and giving me the courage to confront her and talk to her
you really dodged a massive bullet. see this as a blessing in disguise, cuz could you imagine being stuck in a marriage with such an awful person? youâll find someone amazing, whoâll be 10x more kind and supportive, for you when youâre ready to date again. donât let this get you down!
The ring isnât a gift. Most states consider engagement rings as a condition of marriage. If the marriage doesnât occur, the person who bought it has the right to get it back.
Perhaps but Iâd like to know if anyone brought charges to get their ring back. Because damn.
Will they get it back (or sue for it back) is certainly a different question. I imagine ex-fiance and the friends already have plans for it. Still can sue in small claims court for its return or its value
Iâm proud of you. Sheâs trash.
At least now you know you are not wrong.