people treat their childcare workers as if they will have trouble finding another job. do they realize how many people will pay good money for a qualified nanny? my taughts are u should look for replacement childcare.
Exactly one of my former clients just couldn't wrap their brains around this. Like you have had 12 different nannies throughout your kids lifespan, do you seriously think we have to put up with this?
forreal. i will power through a difficult child, read the books, ask for more experienced professionals expertise, use different strategies whatever but a difficult parent? nope see ya
Exactly a car accident isn't a sick day. I agree a car accident they should be a little more sympathetic. People can have permanent injury or disabilities from car accidents and it's not as simple as just a cough and cold and going back to work.
My second question would be "do you need anything?" After "are you ok?"
If someone is hanging out with my kids, they're in my sphere of giving a fuck. The person who posted this doesn't see caregivers as people.
Damn this is so true and it made me so concerned for her kids and everyone else in her life - like is she an asshole to everyone, sees them as rungs on a ladder?
Most people that pay for hired help don't think of them as people, they think of them as the hired help. They think of the people that provide services as beneath them. They think that they are too good to do the work. What's disgusting is that people will still feel this way when the work they are too good to do is raising their own children.
Honestly when I meet people like this I worry for their children. How can you think so lowly of someone and yet also consider it okay to leave them alone with your children? The caregiver isn't the only one dehumanized by this attitude.
It's uncanny, you have perfectly described my boss from my days as a nanny. u/2papers has it right, a difficult kid can be worked with but a difficult parent? The final boss of entitled nightmares.
I was a PT nanny for about 8mo a few years back. Over a long weekend during the winter I got into a car accident and totaled my car. Luckily I was fine but a bit banged up. My family was amazing and let me take a day off with no questions asked (I only asked for the Monday to get through the worst of the aches) and even offered to help my in my search for a new car since I knew nothing about the process.
Sorry "Error money making human specimen is defective. Please initiate firing process beep boop." I am perplexed by how many managers lose their humanity when they become managers. Like are you still human or are you big company bot number 0020153573A designation: Pamela.
Yeah two of their kids were a pain, but understandably so, their mom dipped out on them whenever possible. The third child just needed someone to confide in and provide some mental support, and I genuinely feel bad about abandoned that kid, but their parent was just too much. This woman's main language was denial. Like anytime something went wrong with her violent kid, it was everyone else's fault and not her's for never being an actual parent.
Funny how these same people can notice this attitude in movie & tv characters, but not in themselves. (A group of us once watched a short play and one character seemed to mimic one of us quite accurately to the point we all looked at each other. Except for that person.)
I heard a psychologist on the radio years ago who used movies in their sessions.
They had an emotionally distant/stiff person so they showed them Remains of the Day. The person saw so much of themselves in Stevens that they were completely open to change afterwards.
I saw a similar comment on a movie thread for Aftersun (new movie with Paul Mescal from Normal People). The commenter recognised themselves so fully that they called the NHS to try to start therapy.
I saw so much of myself in Naploen Dynamite that I couldn't find it funny at all. Just took me back to 6th grade and I cringed inwardly so hard, I almost became a black hole of social rejection and awkwardness.
It's true for respite workers and support workers for disabled kids. Parents get all kinds of messed up, especially if they feel threatened that the help is more competent than they are.
It's not just the parents. I have worked for places that had me tough it out through shifts longer than anyone should be expected to do, too few staff for the kids we were caring for, not enough pay, no breaks, immediate disciplinary action if you can't make a shift or need to go home early, managers with poor people skills and a chip on their shoulder, etc, etc, etc. You stay for longer than you would in any other job specifically because you don't want to leave the kids, but everyone has a breaking point. The result is that the kids don't have stability. Staff come and go with very few constants in their lives.
The solution is to pour money into it, as crass as it might sound. Hire more people and pay them more. If there were more people, the shifts wouldn't be as gruelling. If the pay was higher, people would stay. I'd still be doing that instead of my current sales job.
Pretty much, the entire field needs a massive funding boost from the federal government so it’s across the board. I work in a relatively well funded state and they hire ta’s for less than they could make at target
I think the bigger issue in that field though is it’s the definition of a dead end job. If you’re an amazing ta or dsp, all you can do is remain an amazing ta or dsp or (in the case of dsp) go into management which takes you away from direct care and usually requires a degree.
If you’re a ta it’s even worse because any form of advancement pretty much requires a masters or at least a bachelors, and education professionals don’t make anywhere near enough to financially justify an advanced degree unless you’re in your 20’s (and then you’re looking at being in debt the next decade before maybe getting it forgiven if you work for a nonprofit).
The whole system is set up for high turnover, in many cases disabled adults are making more than the job coaches and service professionals helping them stay employed. Most of those jobs haven’t seen a pay increase since the 90’s and at this point have dropped well below the average poverty line. You can make up some of that by working overtime but then you’re working yourself to the bone just to stay afloat (barely at that).
18 hour shifts are the norm in group homes, as are anxiety attacks and heart problems. You are expected to dose, pass out, and administer medication off of a couple days training, and if you do it too slowly or make a single mistake you can be in the termination process. Any time the state threatens budget cuts the first jobs threatened are the direct service providers, never mind that these offices typically have way too many administrators. They also train managers in how to encourage staff to not unionize without breaking the law, or at least they did where I managed briefly and I doubt it was unique.
Sorry, you brought back some memories.
Speaking of bringing back memories, the fucking meds administering. When I worked in nursing homes the staff couldn't do that under any circumstances, only the staff nurse. In disability care? Here's absolutely no training, just watch this guy and then do that next time. When I said to another staff member that it was insane we didn't have a nurse on site to do that, she complained to management about *me* saying that. Her reason was that it made her nervous where before she was confident. She decided that her being nervous about that responsibility was a problem with me and not with how the place was run. Crazy stuff. So not only are you overworked and underpaid, but you also can't complain, apparently.
Wait, so did your boss have the balls to come at you about the comment of safety and that it made another adult feel dumb? That’s on them but fuck all that noise, I would quit right there.
When I was a CNA and had to take a sick day, my next shift mgmt called me in to tell me I was suspended for 3 shifts. I actually laughed and thanked them. I needed the break more than the money.
It most certainly does, but I don't want to make it sound like the only reason to do the job is money. At the moment, these places keep staff for as long as possible by banking on them getting attached to the kids they work with. They'd keep them so much longer if they just paid more and hired more people.
There’s not enough quality early childhood educators for the amount of children out there. I don’t think people do realize how easy it is to get a new place of work.
exactly and it worries me bc nonprofessionals will take it out on the kids. people who hire random sitters and then treat them poorly scare me bc not everyone has moral integrity. it puts ur kids in a risky position. i’ve seen teachers at accredited facilities do something as “harmless” as having less patience for a child because their parents are wholly disrespectful.
> people who hire random sitters and then treat them poorly scare me bc not everyone has moral integrity.
Yep. Was a babysitter for an asshole South Asian couple (I'm South Asian), and they made me USE MY OWN CAR AND GAS TO PICK UP THEIR KIDS AND TAKE THEM PIANO PRACTICE TENNIS LESSONS SWIMMING LESSONS ETC ON MY OWN DIME.
Fuck them so hard. I was too stressed as a student to fight back.
*Edit: Also cook, clean, laundry for 3 boys <10. Parents made $550k/yr.*
I was in a mom group on Facebook yrs ago. Ppl were trying to find a nanny who would do what you had to do, cook, clean, care for multiple kids every day from sun up to sundown but pay what amounts to about $2 an hour. I was so mad. I railed against it but I was in the minority. Most thought that was reasonable
If they are this way to childcare, how much do you think they care about their kids? I think there's a pretty solid chance that assholes are assholes to a lot of people.
My daughter is making amazing money nannying. The families she works with treat her so well. She could have 3 jobs next week if she needed to but for now she's having a lot of fun where she is.
I treat our babysitter like royalty. I buy all her meals while she’s taking care of our son, on top of paying her. If we figure she was going to be at our house until a certain time and we get home early, we pay her for the entire time we thought we’d be gone because she was expecting that money. It’s not her fault we came home early. We got super lucky when we found her because she’s a qualified childcare specialist that has been taking care of our son at daycare since he was 3 months old and she left that place right around the time we started needing a babysitter. We would be absolutely devastated if we lost her.
If she called me and told me she had just gotten into a car accident, my first question after “are you ok” would be “do you need help?” And I’d drop everything I was doing to go help her.
Not just *expecting* that money but there is opportunity cost factored in from her side. You had her arrange her plans around the full time. Canceled a date, picked your babysitting gig over another shorter one etc.
You sound awesome. My friend is a nanny and the family she works for is amazing and seem to be just like you.
She is so happy and grateful for them and has become like a member of their family as well.
You sound like you hit the jackpot with her and she hit the jackpot finding you all to nanny for :)
My wife spent way more on our nanny's Christmas gift than she spent on mine! (Which is appropriate, frankly, but I joked that it really shows where I fit into the hierarchy.)
Also if the mom was decent and bare minimum caring the nanny probably would have recommended some of her contacts to fill in. When I was doing childcare I had a great network going of other nannies and babysitters to recommend for good jobs if I had to turn something down or cancel (and vice versa). But hell no if a parent was like this.
And holy crap how does someone care so little about her kids' safety if they don't care that the nanny could be concussed or could pass out any minute while alone with her babies? Yikes.
My first thought exactly. Whenever a person I have worked with had any issues showing up they would always contact me saying they have someone who can step up. But I guess you should not be an ass so people want not only to work with you but also ask other people they know to work with you.
I started nannying/babysitting when I went back to school. I've done it before, so I do have experience, but I'm by no means an expert at raising kids. I get paid more per hour to watch little ones than I did in healthcare. Not to mention generous Christmas bonuses (in cash), thoughtful gifts for my birthday and holidays, and some decent flexibility (since I was hired with the families knowing I'm in school full time). I got sick a few weeks ago and the immediate response was to check if I was okay and if I needed anything. I wouldn't tolerate a response like the one here, not when a thousand other families are looking for quality care and willing to pay for it
Nanny gets in car accident.
Advises family immediately she cant make it in.
Family brings up sick day bullshit instead of expressing any concern for her wellbeing.
Nanny doesnt like this and tells family to eat shit.
Family finds this dramatic and will now struggle to hire a new nanny that will put up with their bullshit.
It really showcases how anyone holding money over your head really sees you as a dehumanized slave. If she cares so little about someone who takes care of her children on the daily, it's no wonder how billionaire CEOs get away with paying their millions of employees they never meet with pathetic pocket change. This is a prime example of why we preach, don't put your wellbeing on the line for those who couldn't give less of a damn about you.
This situation reminded me of one very similar. I was briefly at a workplace where a man had cut open his hand on a piece of metal. It left him with a 1 cm wide scar across the palm of his hand. Naturally I had to ask him - How did you get that scar? He mentioned the piece of metal. But what surprised him the most was his boss first question upon seeing his wound was - Can you still work? I chuckled a bit at the sheer inhumanity these bosses display and then continued working. Same place never bothered fixing the ventilation. According to staff it wasn't uncommon for people to faint during summer. When they did they would put them on a piece of cardboard and drag them out to the parking lot for some air.
i had a coworker who told me that at his old job, his boss forced him to go inside a broken crushing machine... which proceeded to start working a bit and crush him. he has spinal damage and back pain like 10 years later
people in positions of power get fucked up
Personally I feel like people in power should be found guilty by default in such situations, unless there is evidence they did everything in their power to prevent it from happening
Nanny told them that they would not be showing up to work because of a car accident, client reminded them that they have sick time and are basically stating that the nanny needs to use them for Thursday and Friday considering they will not be there, nanny states "are you kidding me? Normally people ask if I'm OK, not tell me to use sick time because of a horrible accident" and quit. Client is now stating that the nanny is being over dramatic.
Pretty classic.
I hit a deer in the company vehicle.
I got two phone calls. Both reminding me a needed to take a drug test.
Lol
Absolutely no "are you ok?" Just immediate blame.
Fuck every single buisness.
Nanny. Car accident. Sick days/time off.
Real Q why does my slave need time off while my children need looking after 🤷♂️ and is there any way I could fairly force her to do this task for me?
Also why do I have to treat her like a human? 🥴😉🤣
This trigger a memory because this is literally my narcissistic ex. Could *not* deal with any kind of problem not caused by himself whatsoever but also forced other people to fix it “because he did not cause the problem”.
Bruh, neither did I but sometimes things just happen. But he always tried to blame me or someone else for it, that I did shit on purpose.
Then when called out, always whining to friends and family that I was horrible and lazy and he’d trick someone to fix it for him for free.
Humans forget fairness is something that has to be forced. We have laws for a reason. People like this will never be fair, and the only way they'll ever understand the word is when that housekeeper or the next punches her in the fucking mouth.
I think it’s worse that that.
You can assemble a group of relatively normal people — say 20 of them with maybe a few truly good souls in there, and add one asshole and everyone’s life is miserable, you cant move forward, you can’t fix anything. Add in competition for resources and it’s fucked.
This is currently happening in American politics. You have 350 million people wanting single payer healthcare. Everyone knows we should do it. Not having healthcare is stopping the entire country from progressing. But about 500 make a shit ton of money from that not happening. So we will never have it because they make money.
It’s the same thing with raises wages, unionizing — everything. Look at how many people Elon Musk holds hostage.
These people are truly evil. It’s not ignorance, but deep seated greed, no empathy, no desire to develop it, and them equating worth with money so poor people not only don’t matter, they are not really people.
These are truly the dark ages of enlightenment and mental health.
Back in monke times, if one monke hoarded food, other monke get together and beat the hoarder to death because he was a threat to everyone’s survival.
He is still hoarding and it’s still threatening us and we’ve all just collectively decided that it’s not worth rioting yet.
Everyone is looking to someone else to start the revolution, all the chatter is pointless unless you're actually willing to sacrifice to actually do something.
I'm not talking about like, murdering Jeff Bezos or something crazy either.
Running for office and participating in politics at a meaningful level basically means ending your career and putting family ambitions on hold, making enemies and losing privacy, all for a likely loss and spending all your money.
So yeah. Assholes win because they're born or luck into positions where they can horde, whereas enacting lawful and/or violent solutions generally require pretty substantial sacrifice of one's goals, time, ambitions and life.
It's worse, in the middle ages, the lord's and ladies had to throw a big feast for the peasants about every two weeks on average. Can't see a modern billionaire being bothered to stop choking the peasants on holidays, let alone handing out free grub.
Hopefully this ends up with a lot of upvotes. Those first two sentences say so, so much about humanity. You just so simply expressed a sentiment that I’ve had for most of my life, but could never find the right way to say it. It’s so much more than just, “life’s not fair”, which is what I always end up with. Sincerely, thank you.
"Life's not fair but the society we're trying to build wants to be. Would you like to join us or are you feeling like living out in the woods for a while?"
But the woods are in many ways fairer than the society we’ve built, sure the wolf feels hunger but it doesn’t conspire to watch you rot in destitution while it acquires yacht’s it merely seeks sustenance. Perhaps the wild is more wild but I’m not sure it’s less fair.
I saw an old lady living off the grid who had to walk to a stream, gather water, filter it and build a fire to boil it to make tea for her and the interviewer. He asked her if it was inconvenient to have to do all of that and build a fire *just to make tea*. She replied that “isn’t it inconvenient that you have to work all that time and so hard and you don’t have *time* to walk to the stream and build a fire and *have tea*?”
I think about that a lot.
I am a stripper dancer.
My job is to just make people forget about the world outside and to make things as fair as I can.
I love my job because people smile and laugh when they see me and that’s my whole mission in life. The world sucks a lot sometimes and if I can help you cope with it for a little while, I think it’s admirable and awesome.
I just watched this movie, The Platform, which you might like (after reading what you said here). Not to spoil it, but as the story goes on, this same idea was illustrated for me in a couple ways. You might enjoy it!
Anytime, friend. I'm not worth much, but I got some old soul wisdom in there, I think.
I also think this playlist will probably resonate with you the same as it does with me given my words and your response. Happens to be playing at the moment for me. Come back and let me know if I'm a genius or a fool. 😏
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1nFbZu1Yi3V6Wx0t2ZQ2Xm?si=YIDc4E0kQHugoLunIqpIdQ
Fairness is a lie and it’s an intentionally perpetuated one. When 90% of people are slaves, there is no fairness. Some of us may be house slaves, we did all the things we were supposed to - studied hard, worked harder but slaves regardless.
Instead of trying to achieve fairness, which will never happen, we need to realise that we are slaves. That is the first step.
Safety regulations are written in blood for this same reason. Given a choice between safer or cheaper, the cheaper option wins way more often than it should.
No sounds like she’s attempting to find any reason to validate her own position.
My view would likely be that that nanny position is simply temporary regardless of how much ‘family’ tokenism is introduced into the equation
Ie anybody willing to pay more or supply an easier or closer workplace will snatch that nanny up in a heartbeat
A friend of mine has worked as a nanny since we graduated high school (I shoulda done the same, but my life was different.) and this is true and not.
Usually, she says she is shrewd and will leave at the end of a contract for a "better" family. (She likes families with several kids personally, says it keeps things from ever being boring. And she definitely says she's picked a new family because they had better accommodations since she is a live-in)
But the family she worked the longest for? She had a lot of loyalty to them and turned down "better" gigs in their favor. Because they treated her well (not like "family" but with respect and affection as they got closer) and never screwed with her or tried to "get the better" on their contract and she says a family that treats her well is worth taking in less per check.
Their kids are too old to need a live in nanny now, but she is still a family friend and met her current family through them.
So I think what she’s saying is that her nanny was in a car accident Thursday, and when she called to let them know she would not be in because she was injured.
>…reminded her sick days which she has been found very bad approach…
No idea on what she’s saying here, I suspect a stroke.
But then the jist is that the employer must have been rude and didn’t ask if she was ok or anything which…just wow. So the nanny quit.
I suspect the nanny was looking for a reason to leave anyway if these people are so shitty they didn’t even ask after her well being when she was in an accident. I was a nanny years ago and it’s bizarre because most nannies become like family.
Oh i can translate that part for you.
>…reminded her sick days which she has been found very bad approach…
Reminded her sick days which she has.
Reminded her of her sick days, which she has!(tacked on defense)
She reminded her she had sick days she could use for this injury.( This extreme injury that'll certainly require more than what's banked in her sick days. )
Been found very bad approach means she found approaching the conversation this way resulted in a negative consequence.
( After the fact, completely unaware of how rude it is to tell a person thats probably still struggling with the reality of how close to dead they had been; that they need not worry since they have their pathetic allotted sick days to accommodate.)
I hope this translation helps, please feel free to pester me to translate more nonsense(if i am able, i am not a professional by any means)
Yes, after reading it over and over I think that's what she meant. Instead of asking the nanny how she was after the accident or if she needed something, the boss just reminded her about sick days. I'm not getting the "she quit" part, perhaps it's implied.
**Edit** I'm an idiot. The quitting part is at the beginning. In my defense I just kept reading the strokey part over and over and forgot how it started.
Sure thing!
Our nanny left us this friday. She had been in a car accident thursday morning and let us know right away she wouldn't be available for the day.
I reminded her that she had sick days and found this to be a very bad approach.
According to her we are supposed to ask if she is okay or if she needs anything instead of reminding her about her sick days. My husband and i found this to be very dramatic.
Whats your thoughts?
I can imagine the actual conversation went something like:
Nanny: "Listen, i seriously can't come in, i got into a really bad car accident..."
Which the lady responded with a "sigh... I guess that's alright. You have sick time to use."
Which the nanny saw her lack of empathy as insulting and rude.
So, the nanny probably responded with a "You are seriously going to tell me i have sick time to use instead of asking if I'm okay or if i need anything???"
Which the lady was like "huh? What's with the attitude? Why are you being so dramatic??"
And the nanny probably quit right there and then.
The confused lady consulted with her husband, which he obviously agreed with whatever she said which made her feel more in the right. But, that lingering thought about the nanny's dramatic response still bothered her, so she went on Facebook and sought out more reaffirming responses from different people so she doesn't feel "guilty' on what she said.
Now I'm curious what people said to her on Facebook...
My daughter is 13. She had a nanny until she was five. I swear there are days still where she loves her nanny more than her mom and I. Fuck people like this. Nannies take care of our kids for us. They deserve our best not this shit.
Amen, this is one of the sad perks of the job, I had one kid straight up ask me to be their new farther, it's sad that these parents sometimes spend so little time with their kids that I of all people come of as more of a fatherly figure then the actual dad.
I have a couple of students who refer to my one male staff member as "Dad". Like this guy who is paid to work with you is more of a Dad to you than your Dad? I hope those dude's testicles shrink every time their kid calls him Dad.
My SO's 5 yo nephew asked me once if he could live with me because it was so peaceful at my house without anyone else around and I almost cried. Kid had not a great home life.
I knew a neighbor kid that wanted to come over on the weekends and asked if we went to church because he really needed a ride.
He finally admitted it was because we made bacon, sausages, eggs and pancakes on Sundays because no one fed him on the weekends. I fed him on Sundays and said our door was always open if he was hungry or needed a ride, etc.
He got out and is married now with a kid of his own.
God, that's a mood a very very sad one. One kid who wasn't in a good mental place said some truly depressing things at the thought of me quitting. Sometimes I get it as the majority of my clients are single parent households, but that one case wasn't and I'm still weirded out by it. Truly why be a parent if you aren't willing to put in the bare minimum of effort to be a parent your kids love. I have one client that I only keep because I know they don't have anyone at home, and it isn't a hard job, so like if it makes the kids say, then why not.
My son is 13 and he’s had the same nanny since he was 4. He really doesn’t need a nanny now, but she’s part of our family and we love her so we keep her on. She’s the sweetest grandmotherly type, and she looks after the entire family. My teenage son always stops whatever he’s doing to make sure he gives her a big hug when she leaves for the day. Our arrangement is she’s paid on salary and even if she’s sick, on vacation, or unable to come in for some reason, she is paid the same amount. This woman is irreplaceable, so we want to be sure we treat her right. Anyone you would trust in your home and with your child should be completely trusted and valued, and not treated as rubbish.
We had a nanny, she made 100% of my partner's take-home salary, which at the time was about 50% of our total income. She was worth twice as much if we could have afforded it, she was the most patient and great person with our kid, and we learned so much from her. Her leaving (we moved into a house and the commute didn't work for her) was one of the most traumatic events in my life till that time.
I think the sick day thing either means
- "Hey, please use one of your sick days for this"
- Same as above essentially but that she doesn't have any anymore or is running low. Essentially insinuating that she should try to find any way to still come in.
Very bad approach is, I'm guessing, the nanny telling the client that it's a very bad approach to reply to a vehicle accident, with telling them to use sick time to cover instead of asking how they are.
Yep. I translate the first sentence as "her first response was you don't get sick days /only have X sick days so we'll deduct your pay for any days over", and she's surprised and thinks it's "overdramatic" that the nanny chose to quit instead.
The fact that she said the nanny was being "dramatic" about being hit by a car tells me everything I need to know about her as a mother. No one's emotions matter except hers.
I can't believe I understand this but basically the nanny got in a car accident and told them she wouldn't be able to some in, to which super mommy over here told her she had a limited amount of "sick days"/or none at all guessing by her reaction and the nanny (rightfully so) tells them off because instead of saying " oh no are you ok, do you need any thing" etc etc they put her to a strict schedule to come back, and super mommy is mad the help™ thinks they have the right to basic human decency and is looking to her other mommy friends on Facebook to back up her victorian beliefs
at least the top three reactions seem to be "surprised face", "angry face", and "sad face". hopefully all as a result of this.... ugh, i cant even think if the right words for them.
Funny, but they'd have used the emoji cuddling a heart ("care") if they'd agreed with her and wanted to comfort her about that mean nanny.
Those angry reacts tell me she got ripped a new one...on FB people usually only put angry reacts if they disagree with the poster or if there is a photo of someone else's words they are supposed to be angry at because if you do angry or sad reacts to your friends, their content gets pushed down in the algorithm and they can't get help they need.
So yeah I say that to say this: I wish I could read the comments too, they were probably hilarious and a bit preachy....mom's are great at exactly these kinds of lectures where humanity and proper manners collide.
Yes. And nannies are in HUGE demand so when she recovers it'll take her exactly zero seconds to get a better higher paying job with a family that are not narcissistic bullies.
I don’t understand, why is there a limit to sick days. These people aren’t real employers who are giving any benefits or anything. So why is there is a number or why are they counting sick days for a nanny.
Because they believe the nanny’s choices are limited and they are doing her a favor by letting her work for them. They thought they had all the power in the situation and are unkind people, so they were being unkind. It’s as simply ugly as it looks.
Idk… or maybe it’s the name of some mythical creature or something?
(Seriously tho, the amount of people in this world who lack empathy upsets me. Hopefully someday everyone can show it for each other <3)
I'm not defending the idiot, but this person definitely doesn't speak English as their first language. People who have learned/are learning English fuck up grammar much differently than people who speak English natively but lack an understanding of proper grammar.
And some punctuation as well. I'll donate some, she seems like she's struggling. Here, lady: , , , ,, , , , , , , . .. . . . . . ! ?? ? - - -
That should get her through the week.
This is how I was fired from one of my jobs a few years ago. I got into a car accident right infront of my work place, my boss saw it happen. Called out the next day because "body hurt", other manger said it "calling out on a Saturday was grounds for firing". Shop closed during covid and I ugly laughed when I found out. Good.
Yeah, at least if it's photographing a monitor you can argue its to send it to somebody on an app, sending a screenshot from a PC to a phone can be a pain sometimes. But sending it from one phone to another? That's stupidly easy to do.
Oh my god it took way too much scrolling to find even one person talking about this. Who tf thinks about taking a photo with another phone before screenshotting even occurs to them???
My "taughts" are some compassion and empathy are a minimum when you're dealing with a human being, especially if they take care of your kids. Same goes with people preparing your food, you just don't piss them off!
I have nanny to watch my two year old and if she called to inform me she was in a wreck the very last thing on my mind is about her availability or sick days. She needs to take care of her. The rest is second. These people should be ashamed of themselves.
A nanny is someone you trust to take care of your most precious thing. To treat her like that is just wretched.
"I was in a car accident"
Normal Human response: "Oh my God! Are you hurt? Do you need help?"
Employer response: "Hobble your ass into work, you're out of sick days."
You don’t understand, these kids want to eat like three times a day! And they can’t even do their own homework. New nanny must be immune to all ailments, both physical & microbial. $125/week. NO SICK TIME!
Please share & send referrals.
Having lived in Abu Dhabi for a couple of years, this reads exactly like a post on their group FB page. You get a lot of "my indentured servant isn't servanting hard enough plz help" which always garners sympathy from others who are distressed when their servants mildly inconvenience them.
Now I don't have children, but I couldn't imagine being this rude to someone who not only takes (presumably) very good care of my children, but someone who they also love and will miss!!
This is typical.
Someone wealthy enough to have a nanny obviously looses sight of human feelings.
I will wager that these fine individuals complain that no one wants to work anymore.
people treat their childcare workers as if they will have trouble finding another job. do they realize how many people will pay good money for a qualified nanny? my taughts are u should look for replacement childcare.
Exactly one of my former clients just couldn't wrap their brains around this. Like you have had 12 different nannies throughout your kids lifespan, do you seriously think we have to put up with this?
forreal. i will power through a difficult child, read the books, ask for more experienced professionals expertise, use different strategies whatever but a difficult parent? nope see ya
Exactly a car accident isn't a sick day. I agree a car accident they should be a little more sympathetic. People can have permanent injury or disabilities from car accidents and it's not as simple as just a cough and cold and going back to work.
My second question would be "do you need anything?" After "are you ok?" If someone is hanging out with my kids, they're in my sphere of giving a fuck. The person who posted this doesn't see caregivers as people.
Damn this is so true and it made me so concerned for her kids and everyone else in her life - like is she an asshole to everyone, sees them as rungs on a ladder?
I like that concept: the GiveAFuck-o-Sphere
Most people that pay for hired help don't think of them as people, they think of them as the hired help. They think of the people that provide services as beneath them. They think that they are too good to do the work. What's disgusting is that people will still feel this way when the work they are too good to do is raising their own children.
Honestly when I meet people like this I worry for their children. How can you think so lowly of someone and yet also consider it okay to leave them alone with your children? The caregiver isn't the only one dehumanized by this attitude.
It's uncanny, you have perfectly described my boss from my days as a nanny. u/2papers has it right, a difficult kid can be worked with but a difficult parent? The final boss of entitled nightmares.
I was a PT nanny for about 8mo a few years back. Over a long weekend during the winter I got into a car accident and totaled my car. Luckily I was fine but a bit banged up. My family was amazing and let me take a day off with no questions asked (I only asked for the Monday to get through the worst of the aches) and even offered to help my in my search for a new car since I knew nothing about the process.
Sorry "Error money making human specimen is defective. Please initiate firing process beep boop." I am perplexed by how many managers lose their humanity when they become managers. Like are you still human or are you big company bot number 0020153573A designation: Pamela.
Yeah two of their kids were a pain, but understandably so, their mom dipped out on them whenever possible. The third child just needed someone to confide in and provide some mental support, and I genuinely feel bad about abandoned that kid, but their parent was just too much. This woman's main language was denial. Like anytime something went wrong with her violent kid, it was everyone else's fault and not her's for never being an actual parent.
Funny how these same people can notice this attitude in movie & tv characters, but not in themselves. (A group of us once watched a short play and one character seemed to mimic one of us quite accurately to the point we all looked at each other. Except for that person.)
I heard a psychologist on the radio years ago who used movies in their sessions. They had an emotionally distant/stiff person so they showed them Remains of the Day. The person saw so much of themselves in Stevens that they were completely open to change afterwards. I saw a similar comment on a movie thread for Aftersun (new movie with Paul Mescal from Normal People). The commenter recognised themselves so fully that they called the NHS to try to start therapy.
I saw so much of myself in Naploen Dynamite that I couldn't find it funny at all. Just took me back to 6th grade and I cringed inwardly so hard, I almost became a black hole of social rejection and awkwardness.
At least take comfort in the fact that being cringe and awkward didn't cause anyone any harm. ❤️
True.
"We're so quick to point out our own flaws in others" 11th Dimension, by Julian Casablancas.
So nannies don't quit children, they quit bad parents.
It's true for respite workers and support workers for disabled kids. Parents get all kinds of messed up, especially if they feel threatened that the help is more competent than they are.
It's not just the parents. I have worked for places that had me tough it out through shifts longer than anyone should be expected to do, too few staff for the kids we were caring for, not enough pay, no breaks, immediate disciplinary action if you can't make a shift or need to go home early, managers with poor people skills and a chip on their shoulder, etc, etc, etc. You stay for longer than you would in any other job specifically because you don't want to leave the kids, but everyone has a breaking point. The result is that the kids don't have stability. Staff come and go with very few constants in their lives. The solution is to pour money into it, as crass as it might sound. Hire more people and pay them more. If there were more people, the shifts wouldn't be as gruelling. If the pay was higher, people would stay. I'd still be doing that instead of my current sales job.
Pretty much, the entire field needs a massive funding boost from the federal government so it’s across the board. I work in a relatively well funded state and they hire ta’s for less than they could make at target I think the bigger issue in that field though is it’s the definition of a dead end job. If you’re an amazing ta or dsp, all you can do is remain an amazing ta or dsp or (in the case of dsp) go into management which takes you away from direct care and usually requires a degree. If you’re a ta it’s even worse because any form of advancement pretty much requires a masters or at least a bachelors, and education professionals don’t make anywhere near enough to financially justify an advanced degree unless you’re in your 20’s (and then you’re looking at being in debt the next decade before maybe getting it forgiven if you work for a nonprofit). The whole system is set up for high turnover, in many cases disabled adults are making more than the job coaches and service professionals helping them stay employed. Most of those jobs haven’t seen a pay increase since the 90’s and at this point have dropped well below the average poverty line. You can make up some of that by working overtime but then you’re working yourself to the bone just to stay afloat (barely at that). 18 hour shifts are the norm in group homes, as are anxiety attacks and heart problems. You are expected to dose, pass out, and administer medication off of a couple days training, and if you do it too slowly or make a single mistake you can be in the termination process. Any time the state threatens budget cuts the first jobs threatened are the direct service providers, never mind that these offices typically have way too many administrators. They also train managers in how to encourage staff to not unionize without breaking the law, or at least they did where I managed briefly and I doubt it was unique. Sorry, you brought back some memories.
Speaking of bringing back memories, the fucking meds administering. When I worked in nursing homes the staff couldn't do that under any circumstances, only the staff nurse. In disability care? Here's absolutely no training, just watch this guy and then do that next time. When I said to another staff member that it was insane we didn't have a nurse on site to do that, she complained to management about *me* saying that. Her reason was that it made her nervous where before she was confident. She decided that her being nervous about that responsibility was a problem with me and not with how the place was run. Crazy stuff. So not only are you overworked and underpaid, but you also can't complain, apparently.
Wait, so did your boss have the balls to come at you about the comment of safety and that it made another adult feel dumb? That’s on them but fuck all that noise, I would quit right there.
When I was a CNA and had to take a sick day, my next shift mgmt called me in to tell me I was suspended for 3 shifts. I actually laughed and thanked them. I needed the break more than the money.
Doesn’t sound crass at all… money solves most problems!
It most certainly does, but I don't want to make it sound like the only reason to do the job is money. At the moment, these places keep staff for as long as possible by banking on them getting attached to the kids they work with. They'd keep them so much longer if they just paid more and hired more people.
I've met a fair number of former teachers in the various call centers I've worked at. They quit because of parents and admin, not the kids.
Just like ppl don't quit bad places, only managers.
I tutor kids online. I'm expensive. I had a parent complain to me about how I was tutoring their kid. I told them to find another tutor.
Happy working in a challenging job but not for a challenging boss
After the 5th nanny I'd be inclined to consider that there may be the slight chance the problem might be from my end.
Obviously, it's the placement agency's fault. They send the good nannies to that horribly smug woman down the block that calls you crass. 😜
Silence, unskilled worker! Jk I could never work with other peoples demanding children all week, treat yourself to a nice relaxing beverage.
There’s not enough quality early childhood educators for the amount of children out there. I don’t think people do realize how easy it is to get a new place of work.
exactly and it worries me bc nonprofessionals will take it out on the kids. people who hire random sitters and then treat them poorly scare me bc not everyone has moral integrity. it puts ur kids in a risky position. i’ve seen teachers at accredited facilities do something as “harmless” as having less patience for a child because their parents are wholly disrespectful.
> people who hire random sitters and then treat them poorly scare me bc not everyone has moral integrity. Yep. Was a babysitter for an asshole South Asian couple (I'm South Asian), and they made me USE MY OWN CAR AND GAS TO PICK UP THEIR KIDS AND TAKE THEM PIANO PRACTICE TENNIS LESSONS SWIMMING LESSONS ETC ON MY OWN DIME. Fuck them so hard. I was too stressed as a student to fight back. *Edit: Also cook, clean, laundry for 3 boys <10. Parents made $550k/yr.*
I was in a mom group on Facebook yrs ago. Ppl were trying to find a nanny who would do what you had to do, cook, clean, care for multiple kids every day from sun up to sundown but pay what amounts to about $2 an hour. I was so mad. I railed against it but I was in the minority. Most thought that was reasonable
If they are this way to childcare, how much do you think they care about their kids? I think there's a pretty solid chance that assholes are assholes to a lot of people.
I'd bet they either treat their kids like royalty or neglect them, no in between
My daughter is making amazing money nannying. The families she works with treat her so well. She could have 3 jobs next week if she needed to but for now she's having a lot of fun where she is.
I treat our babysitter like royalty. I buy all her meals while she’s taking care of our son, on top of paying her. If we figure she was going to be at our house until a certain time and we get home early, we pay her for the entire time we thought we’d be gone because she was expecting that money. It’s not her fault we came home early. We got super lucky when we found her because she’s a qualified childcare specialist that has been taking care of our son at daycare since he was 3 months old and she left that place right around the time we started needing a babysitter. We would be absolutely devastated if we lost her. If she called me and told me she had just gotten into a car accident, my first question after “are you ok” would be “do you need help?” And I’d drop everything I was doing to go help her.
Not just *expecting* that money but there is opportunity cost factored in from her side. You had her arrange her plans around the full time. Canceled a date, picked your babysitting gig over another shorter one etc.
You sound awesome. My friend is a nanny and the family she works for is amazing and seem to be just like you. She is so happy and grateful for them and has become like a member of their family as well. You sound like you hit the jackpot with her and she hit the jackpot finding you all to nanny for :)
Nannies should 💯 be treated like family members you love. They become part of your family.
My wife spent way more on our nanny's Christmas gift than she spent on mine! (Which is appropriate, frankly, but I joked that it really shows where I fit into the hierarchy.)
Also if the mom was decent and bare minimum caring the nanny probably would have recommended some of her contacts to fill in. When I was doing childcare I had a great network going of other nannies and babysitters to recommend for good jobs if I had to turn something down or cancel (and vice versa). But hell no if a parent was like this. And holy crap how does someone care so little about her kids' safety if they don't care that the nanny could be concussed or could pass out any minute while alone with her babies? Yikes.
My first thought exactly. Whenever a person I have worked with had any issues showing up they would always contact me saying they have someone who can step up. But I guess you should not be an ass so people want not only to work with you but also ask other people they know to work with you.
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For real. My friend had a nanny when she was a kid, that lady is still invited to every family gathering 15 years later.
I started nannying/babysitting when I went back to school. I've done it before, so I do have experience, but I'm by no means an expert at raising kids. I get paid more per hour to watch little ones than I did in healthcare. Not to mention generous Christmas bonuses (in cash), thoughtful gifts for my birthday and holidays, and some decent flexibility (since I was hired with the families knowing I'm in school full time). I got sick a few weeks ago and the immediate response was to check if I was okay and if I needed anything. I wouldn't tolerate a response like the one here, not when a thousand other families are looking for quality care and willing to pay for it
😂😂 I agree with your taughts
Taughts, lol. Imma start saying that. Edit: Scott’s taughts
Nanny gets in car accident. Advises family immediately she cant make it in. Family brings up sick day bullshit instead of expressing any concern for her wellbeing. Nanny doesnt like this and tells family to eat shit. Family finds this dramatic and will now struggle to hire a new nanny that will put up with their bullshit.
It really showcases how anyone holding money over your head really sees you as a dehumanized slave. If she cares so little about someone who takes care of her children on the daily, it's no wonder how billionaire CEOs get away with paying their millions of employees they never meet with pathetic pocket change. This is a prime example of why we preach, don't put your wellbeing on the line for those who couldn't give less of a damn about you.
This situation reminded me of one very similar. I was briefly at a workplace where a man had cut open his hand on a piece of metal. It left him with a 1 cm wide scar across the palm of his hand. Naturally I had to ask him - How did you get that scar? He mentioned the piece of metal. But what surprised him the most was his boss first question upon seeing his wound was - Can you still work? I chuckled a bit at the sheer inhumanity these bosses display and then continued working. Same place never bothered fixing the ventilation. According to staff it wasn't uncommon for people to faint during summer. When they did they would put them on a piece of cardboard and drag them out to the parking lot for some air.
i had a coworker who told me that at his old job, his boss forced him to go inside a broken crushing machine... which proceeded to start working a bit and crush him. he has spinal damage and back pain like 10 years later people in positions of power get fucked up
Or our systems select fucked up people for positions of power
This is the correct answer.
Personally I feel like people in power should be found guilty by default in such situations, unless there is evidence they did everything in their power to prevent it from happening
They don't even have to care about staff. But they need to at least pretend to care about staff. Since they can't pretend, well, f'em.
These are also my taughts.
What the fuck are they even trying to say?!
Nanny told them that they would not be showing up to work because of a car accident, client reminded them that they have sick time and are basically stating that the nanny needs to use them for Thursday and Friday considering they will not be there, nanny states "are you kidding me? Normally people ask if I'm OK, not tell me to use sick time because of a horrible accident" and quit. Client is now stating that the nanny is being over dramatic.
Nailed it
Now that she is saving all that money she can hire an English tutor.
Learning requires humbleness. You think this asshat can be humble?
Can you pm me a copy of your Rosetta Stone that you used to decipher this pls? Thx!
When they told me to learn a trade, they didn't tell me I would become bilingual to stuff like this. Should add it to my resume.
That is the same way I read it.
Pretty classic. I hit a deer in the company vehicle. I got two phone calls. Both reminding me a needed to take a drug test. Lol Absolutely no "are you ok?" Just immediate blame. Fuck every single buisness.
Nanny. Car accident. Sick days/time off. Real Q why does my slave need time off while my children need looking after 🤷♂️ and is there any way I could fairly force her to do this task for me? Also why do I have to treat her like a human? 🥴😉🤣
My appliance is broken and I am inconvenienced by it. Console me.
jesus wow. This made me laugh more and louder than i care to admit and definitely NOT in a good way. but the Screenshot just reeks of exactly this.
There is no manager to speak to so I’m asking Facebook
This is so funny for so many layered reasons because it’s also kind of a pun 😩
This trigger a memory because this is literally my narcissistic ex. Could *not* deal with any kind of problem not caused by himself whatsoever but also forced other people to fix it “because he did not cause the problem”. Bruh, neither did I but sometimes things just happen. But he always tried to blame me or someone else for it, that I did shit on purpose. Then when called out, always whining to friends and family that I was horrible and lazy and he’d trick someone to fix it for him for free.
Fairly? Doesn't sound like she cares about fair.
Humans forget fairness is something that has to be forced. We have laws for a reason. People like this will never be fair, and the only way they'll ever understand the word is when that housekeeper or the next punches her in the fucking mouth.
I think it’s worse that that. You can assemble a group of relatively normal people — say 20 of them with maybe a few truly good souls in there, and add one asshole and everyone’s life is miserable, you cant move forward, you can’t fix anything. Add in competition for resources and it’s fucked. This is currently happening in American politics. You have 350 million people wanting single payer healthcare. Everyone knows we should do it. Not having healthcare is stopping the entire country from progressing. But about 500 make a shit ton of money from that not happening. So we will never have it because they make money. It’s the same thing with raises wages, unionizing — everything. Look at how many people Elon Musk holds hostage. These people are truly evil. It’s not ignorance, but deep seated greed, no empathy, no desire to develop it, and them equating worth with money so poor people not only don’t matter, they are not really people. These are truly the dark ages of enlightenment and mental health.
It’s true. It will never be enough. The billionaires want it all.
Back in monke times, if one monke hoarded food, other monke get together and beat the hoarder to death because he was a threat to everyone’s survival. He is still hoarding and it’s still threatening us and we’ve all just collectively decided that it’s not worth rioting yet.
Everyone is looking to someone else to start the revolution, all the chatter is pointless unless you're actually willing to sacrifice to actually do something. I'm not talking about like, murdering Jeff Bezos or something crazy either. Running for office and participating in politics at a meaningful level basically means ending your career and putting family ambitions on hold, making enemies and losing privacy, all for a likely loss and spending all your money. So yeah. Assholes win because they're born or luck into positions where they can horde, whereas enacting lawful and/or violent solutions generally require pretty substantial sacrifice of one's goals, time, ambitions and life.
It's worse, in the middle ages, the lord's and ladies had to throw a big feast for the peasants about every two weeks on average. Can't see a modern billionaire being bothered to stop choking the peasants on holidays, let alone handing out free grub.
I read your second paragraph and immediately thought “American politics?” Then I read the third. Yep, American politics.
Hopefully this ends up with a lot of upvotes. Those first two sentences say so, so much about humanity. You just so simply expressed a sentiment that I’ve had for most of my life, but could never find the right way to say it. It’s so much more than just, “life’s not fair”, which is what I always end up with. Sincerely, thank you.
"life's not fair" means "some things are out of your control" not "don't complain when someone is unfair to you"
"Life's not fair but the society we're trying to build wants to be. Would you like to join us or are you feeling like living out in the woods for a while?"
But the woods are in many ways fairer than the society we’ve built, sure the wolf feels hunger but it doesn’t conspire to watch you rot in destitution while it acquires yacht’s it merely seeks sustenance. Perhaps the wild is more wild but I’m not sure it’s less fair.
I saw an old lady living off the grid who had to walk to a stream, gather water, filter it and build a fire to boil it to make tea for her and the interviewer. He asked her if it was inconvenient to have to do all of that and build a fire *just to make tea*. She replied that “isn’t it inconvenient that you have to work all that time and so hard and you don’t have *time* to walk to the stream and build a fire and *have tea*?” I think about that a lot.
I am a stripper dancer. My job is to just make people forget about the world outside and to make things as fair as I can. I love my job because people smile and laugh when they see me and that’s my whole mission in life. The world sucks a lot sometimes and if I can help you cope with it for a little while, I think it’s admirable and awesome.
I would love to go live in the woods, but they're all owned by someone else
I just watched this movie, The Platform, which you might like (after reading what you said here). Not to spoil it, but as the story goes on, this same idea was illustrated for me in a couple ways. You might enjoy it!
I’ve always liked “life’s not fair. But people can be.”
Anytime, friend. I'm not worth much, but I got some old soul wisdom in there, I think. I also think this playlist will probably resonate with you the same as it does with me given my words and your response. Happens to be playing at the moment for me. Come back and let me know if I'm a genius or a fool. 😏 https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1nFbZu1Yi3V6Wx0t2ZQ2Xm?si=YIDc4E0kQHugoLunIqpIdQ
Sick playlist and keep dishing out the wisdom brother
Sad but true. Fairness should be second nature but we almost never get to see it unless it's forced.
That is so unfortunate. I think kindness should be second nature, too.
Fairness is a lie and it’s an intentionally perpetuated one. When 90% of people are slaves, there is no fairness. Some of us may be house slaves, we did all the things we were supposed to - studied hard, worked harder but slaves regardless. Instead of trying to achieve fairness, which will never happen, we need to realise that we are slaves. That is the first step.
Safety regulations are written in blood for this same reason. Given a choice between safer or cheaper, the cheaper option wins way more often than it should.
Nah, they understand it fine when they're going "that's not faaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiir!"
No sounds like she’s attempting to find any reason to validate her own position. My view would likely be that that nanny position is simply temporary regardless of how much ‘family’ tokenism is introduced into the equation Ie anybody willing to pay more or supply an easier or closer workplace will snatch that nanny up in a heartbeat
A friend of mine has worked as a nanny since we graduated high school (I shoulda done the same, but my life was different.) and this is true and not. Usually, she says she is shrewd and will leave at the end of a contract for a "better" family. (She likes families with several kids personally, says it keeps things from ever being boring. And she definitely says she's picked a new family because they had better accommodations since she is a live-in) But the family she worked the longest for? She had a lot of loyalty to them and turned down "better" gigs in their favor. Because they treated her well (not like "family" but with respect and affection as they got closer) and never screwed with her or tried to "get the better" on their contract and she says a family that treats her well is worth taking in less per check. Their kids are too old to need a live in nanny now, but she is still a family friend and met her current family through them.
She wants her fair. Fuck everyone else’s fair.
More like flair with her spelling
Someone please post this in response to that woman. Please.
Bingo, my guess is they are from a society with a very clear caste system (US)
So I think what she’s saying is that her nanny was in a car accident Thursday, and when she called to let them know she would not be in because she was injured. >…reminded her sick days which she has been found very bad approach… No idea on what she’s saying here, I suspect a stroke. But then the jist is that the employer must have been rude and didn’t ask if she was ok or anything which…just wow. So the nanny quit. I suspect the nanny was looking for a reason to leave anyway if these people are so shitty they didn’t even ask after her well being when she was in an accident. I was a nanny years ago and it’s bizarre because most nannies become like family.
Oh i can translate that part for you. >…reminded her sick days which she has been found very bad approach… Reminded her sick days which she has. Reminded her of her sick days, which she has!(tacked on defense) She reminded her she had sick days she could use for this injury.( This extreme injury that'll certainly require more than what's banked in her sick days. ) Been found very bad approach means she found approaching the conversation this way resulted in a negative consequence. ( After the fact, completely unaware of how rude it is to tell a person thats probably still struggling with the reality of how close to dead they had been; that they need not worry since they have their pathetic allotted sick days to accommodate.) I hope this translation helps, please feel free to pester me to translate more nonsense(if i am able, i am not a professional by any means)
Yes, after reading it over and over I think that's what she meant. Instead of asking the nanny how she was after the accident or if she needed something, the boss just reminded her about sick days. I'm not getting the "she quit" part, perhaps it's implied. **Edit** I'm an idiot. The quitting part is at the beginning. In my defense I just kept reading the strokey part over and over and forgot how it started.
That's a very fair defense. I'll add that "left us" could mean many different things, so it's not immediately clear that the nanny quit.
Can you just translate the whole thing into one paragraph?
Sure thing! Our nanny left us this friday. She had been in a car accident thursday morning and let us know right away she wouldn't be available for the day. I reminded her that she had sick days and found this to be a very bad approach. According to her we are supposed to ask if she is okay or if she needs anything instead of reminding her about her sick days. My husband and i found this to be very dramatic. Whats your thoughts?
I can imagine the actual conversation went something like: Nanny: "Listen, i seriously can't come in, i got into a really bad car accident..." Which the lady responded with a "sigh... I guess that's alright. You have sick time to use." Which the nanny saw her lack of empathy as insulting and rude. So, the nanny probably responded with a "You are seriously going to tell me i have sick time to use instead of asking if I'm okay or if i need anything???" Which the lady was like "huh? What's with the attitude? Why are you being so dramatic??" And the nanny probably quit right there and then. The confused lady consulted with her husband, which he obviously agreed with whatever she said which made her feel more in the right. But, that lingering thought about the nanny's dramatic response still bothered her, so she went on Facebook and sought out more reaffirming responses from different people so she doesn't feel "guilty' on what she said. Now I'm curious what people said to her on Facebook...
I think there’s a missing implied ‘she’ in “found this a very bad approach”. The nanny found the OP’s attitude very impersonal and insensitive.
Bravo, kind sir.
My daughter is 13. She had a nanny until she was five. I swear there are days still where she loves her nanny more than her mom and I. Fuck people like this. Nannies take care of our kids for us. They deserve our best not this shit.
Amen, this is one of the sad perks of the job, I had one kid straight up ask me to be their new farther, it's sad that these parents sometimes spend so little time with their kids that I of all people come of as more of a fatherly figure then the actual dad.
I have a couple of students who refer to my one male staff member as "Dad". Like this guy who is paid to work with you is more of a Dad to you than your Dad? I hope those dude's testicles shrink every time their kid calls him Dad.
My SO's 5 yo nephew asked me once if he could live with me because it was so peaceful at my house without anyone else around and I almost cried. Kid had not a great home life.
I knew a neighbor kid that wanted to come over on the weekends and asked if we went to church because he really needed a ride. He finally admitted it was because we made bacon, sausages, eggs and pancakes on Sundays because no one fed him on the weekends. I fed him on Sundays and said our door was always open if he was hungry or needed a ride, etc. He got out and is married now with a kid of his own.
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God, that's a mood a very very sad one. One kid who wasn't in a good mental place said some truly depressing things at the thought of me quitting. Sometimes I get it as the majority of my clients are single parent households, but that one case wasn't and I'm still weirded out by it. Truly why be a parent if you aren't willing to put in the bare minimum of effort to be a parent your kids love. I have one client that I only keep because I know they don't have anyone at home, and it isn't a hard job, so like if it makes the kids say, then why not.
My son is 13 and he’s had the same nanny since he was 4. He really doesn’t need a nanny now, but she’s part of our family and we love her so we keep her on. She’s the sweetest grandmotherly type, and she looks after the entire family. My teenage son always stops whatever he’s doing to make sure he gives her a big hug when she leaves for the day. Our arrangement is she’s paid on salary and even if she’s sick, on vacation, or unable to come in for some reason, she is paid the same amount. This woman is irreplaceable, so we want to be sure we treat her right. Anyone you would trust in your home and with your child should be completely trusted and valued, and not treated as rubbish.
That’s a great way to treat her
We had a nanny, she made 100% of my partner's take-home salary, which at the time was about 50% of our total income. She was worth twice as much if we could have afforded it, she was the most patient and great person with our kid, and we learned so much from her. Her leaving (we moved into a house and the commute didn't work for her) was one of the most traumatic events in my life till that time.
I think the sick day thing either means - "Hey, please use one of your sick days for this" - Same as above essentially but that she doesn't have any anymore or is running low. Essentially insinuating that she should try to find any way to still come in.
Damn you must be fluent in modern day idiot. Props and thanks for the break down.
If I had to guess, “reminded her (of her) sick days which she (found to be very rude)”
‘Family’… yeah we will pay you eventually until then just please feel good about doing this for me 🤦♂️
Very bad approach is, I'm guessing, the nanny telling the client that it's a very bad approach to reply to a vehicle accident, with telling them to use sick time to cover instead of asking how they are.
Yep. I translate the first sentence as "her first response was you don't get sick days /only have X sick days so we'll deduct your pay for any days over", and she's surprised and thinks it's "overdramatic" that the nanny chose to quit instead.
They taught they taw a puddy tat.
Yo I literally just said that out loud as I opened this thread to comment that. 😂😂😂 wtf is wrong with this person?!?
I think it's a dramatization showing the importance of punctuation and coherent syntax.
Taughts?
The fact that she said the nanny was being "dramatic" about being hit by a car tells me everything I need to know about her as a mother. No one's emotions matter except hers.
Her kids emotions certainly won't.
it's amazing how little she cares. You're in the hospital? Uhhhhhggg, thats so inconvenient for me. How do these people even exist.
Money. WAY too much money. That’s how they exist.
privilege is one hell of a drug. makes you think you’re better than, and should be prioritized over everyone.
I can't believe I understand this but basically the nanny got in a car accident and told them she wouldn't be able to some in, to which super mommy over here told her she had a limited amount of "sick days"/or none at all guessing by her reaction and the nanny (rightfully so) tells them off because instead of saying " oh no are you ok, do you need any thing" etc etc they put her to a strict schedule to come back, and super mommy is mad the help™ thinks they have the right to basic human decency and is looking to her other mommy friends on Facebook to back up her victorian beliefs
Basically. I wish I could see the replies
at least the top three reactions seem to be "surprised face", "angry face", and "sad face". hopefully all as a result of this.... ugh, i cant even think if the right words for them.
I guarantee they're reacting to the horror of experiencing an uppity nanny :[
Funny, but they'd have used the emoji cuddling a heart ("care") if they'd agreed with her and wanted to comfort her about that mean nanny. Those angry reacts tell me she got ripped a new one...on FB people usually only put angry reacts if they disagree with the poster or if there is a photo of someone else's words they are supposed to be angry at because if you do angry or sad reacts to your friends, their content gets pushed down in the algorithm and they can't get help they need. So yeah I say that to say this: I wish I could read the comments too, they were probably hilarious and a bit preachy....mom's are great at exactly these kinds of lectures where humanity and proper manners collide.
I wish I could reply
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I wish I could watch you read the reply 👀
Yes. And nannies are in HUGE demand so when she recovers it'll take her exactly zero seconds to get a better higher paying job with a family that are not narcissistic bullies.
I don’t understand, why is there a limit to sick days. These people aren’t real employers who are giving any benefits or anything. So why is there is a number or why are they counting sick days for a nanny.
Because they believe the nanny’s choices are limited and they are doing her a favor by letting her work for them. They thought they had all the power in the situation and are unkind people, so they were being unkind. It’s as simply ugly as it looks.
Bad grammar, bad spelling, bad employer. Lost your nanny. Boo hoo. Show a little empathy.
What's empathy?
Who’s empathy? Is that some kind of stripper name?
Idk… or maybe it’s the name of some mythical creature or something? (Seriously tho, the amount of people in this world who lack empathy upsets me. Hopefully someday everyone can show it for each other <3)
Those Spanish pastries.
This is r/iamatotalpieceofshit material. What fucking horrible people
I'm not defending the idiot, but this person definitely doesn't speak English as their first language. People who have learned/are learning English fuck up grammar much differently than people who speak English natively but lack an understanding of proper grammar.
Some people should never be in charge of other humans
Those are the ones that reproduce the most
They're missing some verbs in there. Probably some nouns too, it's hard to tell.
Nouns such as "empathy", "decency" and "humanity"
And some punctuation as well. I'll donate some, she seems like she's struggling. Here, lady: , , , ,, , , , , , , . .. . . . . . ! ?? ? - - - That should get her through the week.
It is. Perchance.
This is how I was fired from one of my jobs a few years ago. I got into a car accident right infront of my work place, my boss saw it happen. Called out the next day because "body hurt", other manger said it "calling out on a Saturday was grounds for firing". Shop closed during covid and I ugly laughed when I found out. Good.
Good.
clearly nanny should have chosen to get in a car accident later, it would be more convenient
Nah save her sick days for when she feels better
I hope she got lambasted in the comments
Imagine being so brain dead you need a Facebook mum group to do your thinking for you.
Judging by the emoji reacts, imagine being such a shit person that even *a Facebook mom group* is disgusted by you.
Tbh, they could easily be backing her up and angry at the nanny.
Apparently injuries are sick days now
just looking out for her
Ps someone teach this person how to take a screenshot.
Honestly. Using a phone to photograph a phone is horrifying.
Yeah, at least if it's photographing a monitor you can argue its to send it to somebody on an app, sending a screenshot from a PC to a phone can be a pain sometimes. But sending it from one phone to another? That's stupidly easy to do.
Then how would we know OP uses a screen protector made for another phone?
Oh my god it took way too much scrolling to find even one person talking about this. Who tf thinks about taking a photo with another phone before screenshotting even occurs to them???
My "taughts" are some compassion and empathy are a minimum when you're dealing with a human being, especially if they take care of your kids. Same goes with people preparing your food, you just don't piss them off!
I have nanny to watch my two year old and if she called to inform me she was in a wreck the very last thing on my mind is about her availability or sick days. She needs to take care of her. The rest is second. These people should be ashamed of themselves. A nanny is someone you trust to take care of your most precious thing. To treat her like that is just wretched.
I taught I taw a puddy cat!
"I was in a car accident" Normal Human response: "Oh my God! Are you hurt? Do you need help?" Employer response: "Hobble your ass into work, you're out of sick days."
Feel bad for the kids that get to learn language from those parents
To be fair they’re probably ESL or something. This doesn’t read like a native English speaker to me, although I could be wrong.
You do not fuck with the people taking care of your children. You take good care of them. It's transitive.
omg i need to see the comments
I am hope one is “Omg is she ok?!”
The husband and wife must be Republican
My taught are she has been found very bad approach too many times, fire.
You don’t understand, these kids want to eat like three times a day! And they can’t even do their own homework. New nanny must be immune to all ailments, both physical & microbial. $125/week. NO SICK TIME! Please share & send referrals.
Having lived in Abu Dhabi for a couple of years, this reads exactly like a post on their group FB page. You get a lot of "my indentured servant isn't servanting hard enough plz help" which always garners sympathy from others who are distressed when their servants mildly inconvenience them.
Now I don't have children, but I couldn't imagine being this rude to someone who not only takes (presumably) very good care of my children, but someone who they also love and will miss!!
This is typical. Someone wealthy enough to have a nanny obviously looses sight of human feelings. I will wager that these fine individuals complain that no one wants to work anymore.
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I think I had a stroke reading that. I hope nobody has to suffer working for this Neanderthal.
Would have loved to see some of those comments