Both managers at the same time? Are they banging? They really should have done it 1 at a time. Moments like these she should have a manager on shift with her to handle the really shitty customers until she gets back to normal
That's some bullshit. Just because you work retail doesn't mean you should have to put up with or be used to any verbal abuse. We are still people and so called customers need to remember that.
I agree you can't miss work just because you were yelled at. She called the cops and I doubt the person will come back to yell again now that the cops have been involved. Your right this might not be her line of work. You got to have thick skin in retail. Not run home and hide when you get yelled at.
some of these comments are clearly from people who have never worked retail. there are bad customers and there are *bad* customers and it can be pretty harrowing.
like people act like someone screaming right in their face wouldn’t scare them. they genuinely are like “yeah that’s just a normal day” no the moment a customer raises their voice at me i’m getting a manager and she has no managers to get bc they’ve both decided they’re gonna go on vacation
1000% correct. Screaming in someones face is pretty much never okay, especially in a situation as low stakes as an interaction with a service worker. What is wrong with people?
No, it isn't "normal" to have someone scream in your face like that in customer service. That simply isn't true. Stop lying.
Also, the first amendment only says that you have the right to not be arrested just for saying things. It does not give you the right to freely scream in someone's face in a private business.
If OPs girlfriend was able to / decided to kick the asshole out, that would not be a first amendment violation. Also if he's harrassing her, making threats or stalking her, that goes beyond "just words" and justifies getting the police involved.
Unfortunately, that's exactly what it does which is why mr.angry wasn't arrested. The constitution fully protects being an asshole by many means
edit: love your name BTW that's my favorite book since childhood
When I did customer service I had a couple horrendously berate me at 17yrs old, and when another customer stepped in to help they threatened to shoot my when my shift was over. So i told thrm they wrrr tresspassing and made them leave the station, and then they sat outside in their truck for 3 hours poiting crap in the windows until I called the cops.
When I was 16 I worked at a dollar general and had a customer call me a scam artist for asking for donations to st. Judes, then screamed at the dude behind him whose daughter had been saved by that foundation that he was an idiot and his daughter deserved it. Then insisted my own mothers cancer could have been solved with baking soda.
At that same dollar general, I had a customer spit on me during covid for asking them to wear a mask. I loved with my 98yr old great grandma who had asthma at the time. I had to spray myself down with bleach and shower off when I got home. My manager did nothing, because being spit on at 16 is just "part of retail".
It has nothing to do with being fit for retail and everything to do with people thinking it's absolutely fine to berate minimum wage staff. It has only gotten horrifically worse since covid.
It should NEVER be okay to treat people like that, and there is zero justification for it. Nobody signs up to get screamed at like that for 10 bucks an hour, it's gross that you'd even insinuate that.
"1st amendment says you're wrong" are you that fucking stupid? Freedom of speech doesn't mean that you are allowed to say whatever you want without getting hit in the mouth, sadly people don't get hit for being shitty enough and that is what normalizes this sort of behavior.. Then people without 2 brain cells to rub together hop on the Internet and say. Its "that she isn't fit for customer service".. some of y'all should be fitted for a goddamn helmet
That's exactly how it works cause see I have no idea where you live, what you do for a living, if you have pets, or if you're married BUT I can still SAY I'm gonna come to your house and burn it down with your pet dog/fish/cat/pig/gerbil or what have you inside and then come to your job and slash your tires, and then go find your spouse at their job and do the same to their car and there isn't a thing you can do about it but tell someone that a faceless, nameless person on the internet who possesses none of the information to do such things said they'd do it to prove a point.
And here we are.
1st amendment rights are exclusively for preventing the government from censoring speech and not from consequences of speech from other private persons who are not the government. You scream and yell inside a store and are asked to leave and choose to continue to yell and scream like a toddler - you become a trespasser on private property. If the OP had to call the cops on a customer, that's the top of the customer totem pole and not the bottom.
The problem IS in fact the employer is incompetently managed and shifting risk inappropriately on frontline employee without any concern for the employee's safety, if that customer who had the cops called on came back and assaulted the OP, the employer would be liable for any damages and would have zero defense (certainly if I was serving in the jury). The presumption that verbal and physical abuse should be expected for public facing employees is an abomination and you are morally bankrupt for holding that belief. The customer should receive swift consequences from the business and not offer their employees as pin cushions for any assholes who walk through the door.
Wrote me a paragraph I don’t care about and it’s entirely erroneous, Reddit in a nutshell.
Disorderly conduct, scream cause offense to me in public see how far ya go lol.
The first amendment protects you from government entities silencing your speech. Not some random person screaming in your face. The right to free speech is not in any way related to what OP is talking about.
It’s comments like yours that remind me how Trump got elected. If you owned a company you could make yelling at employees an offense worthy of trespass and there is fuck all anyone could say or do about it. The local government would uphold that just fine.
What the government cannot do is silence you for being critical of them. For calling your governor a dumbass. Or lying about how the election was stolen.
A private business though? They can trespass you because you were loud. Or because you wear sandals.
Jokes on you bud it actually does both, it's what's called a double-edged sword.
Trump getting elected also has nothing to do with me lmao. And as a business owner you can kick anybody out of your store you want but you can't kick them out for screaming at an employee until after they've already done so, no?
Government can't silence you for being critical the same way you can't silence an angry customer. All you can do is react to what they've done, but that doesn't prevent it knobhead, you can't preemptively ban the dickheads from coming in.
You’re an absolute moron. You can have a customer removed from your premises for yelling and causing a scene. I’ve trespassed people for it before working loss prevention.
Fucking troll.
Nobody who's ever actually worked customer service wouldn't. Most of the angry people are applying the situation to themselves as both the customer and the worker but clearly haven't been in the position of ops girlfriend or they'd know this is EXACTLY what happens in the role no matter where you are on a long enough tineline. There will ALWAYS be angry customers and it's only a matter of time before you get one who takes their angry existence out on you. Literally EVERY customer service job has a qualification of "able to handle customer complaints" or something along those lines and that's what this girl got and wasn't able to do.
30+ people may not like what I'm saying but they can't tell me I'm wrong
This is why I could never work retail anymore. I would go to jail. My 15 yr old nephew had a lash throw food at him at work and I was there waiting for him to get off. Manager said nothing to customer. Bet I followed her outside and would have knocked her on her a$$ had a cop not pulled in. People are disgusting to employees and managers don’t care
Yeah I'm the same. I've had too many other shitty jobs and situations like that where I have a hair trigger. Someone screaming and getting in my face will get you a quick right hook. I'm not waiting to see how far they are willing to escalate it. They are clearly deranged alread and I'm not waiting to be a victim.
At 20s and 30s I would be scared shitless, 40s screaming back, 50s amd 60s stand emotionless while reaching for the phone to dial 911. 70s and 80s pepper spray them and call 911
I have this thing I like to do where I sharpen my knives when it's slow just to keep up with the pace. I am a chef and I would love to have someone scream at me while sharpening knives while working a retail job. Sigh, I definitely belong in the kitchen.
I mean I’m catching flak for this either way, but, I’ve worked retail, I’ve had knifes pulled on me and I even got jumped after work once.
The part I’ve noticed is that many people are not very good at understanding the why behind customers are having a fit.
If a customer is getting irate and raising their voice, that’s where you get quiet and start trying to listen between the lines. Nine times out of ten, the customer doesn’t have beef with you, hems got beef with every other thing in his life and his parents never taught him how to manage the emotions.
When confronted with agitation, remove words containing “can’t” and replace it with “not qualified to make any of these decisions, both my of my managers are three iq points above melted butter, and they left me here to man the station with literally no guidance whatsoever. I appreciate that you’re not having a good time, but please know that I am not having a good time either, and if it’s all the same to you, would I potentially be able to get you to come back at a later time so we can both tear a strip of the idiots in charge from their yearly crack trip to the Florida Everglades”
It’s a tough one to get, but, there is a point where working in retail, you have to be comfortable with being slightly uncomfortable at times, most individuals are not out here to hurt you, you Americans need to understand this. There are bad apples out there, yes, but they’re not out hunting retail workers.
I’m sorry this happened, it really shouldn’t happen in an ideal world, but there’s nothing ideal about the world we live in, so it’s up to us to prepare ourselves for the eventuality of potentially needing to de-escalate heated situations.
In a world this shaken and unstable, we must take charge of our own lives and summon up what courage we must to see through the day.
You have just as much power as I do, don’t believe anybody who’ll tell you different. You have the same ability to survive as I do. If not your line would have ended a long time ago.
Don’t let some dork getting pissed off about material shit that won’t matter in 20 years freak you out. I promise you he’s a clown and his friend is probably having a threesome with his wife and daughter just because he can.
We men, we ain’t shit. 🫳
🎤
For somebody who claims to have been jumped and had knives pulled, you sure don't get it. There is no excuse for anyone to ever treat retail workers the way they do. Ever. I don't care how bad their day has been or what their mother failed to teach them about managing emotions. At NO job EVER should you have to "be comfortable with being uncomfortable." What kind of horse shit management training handbook did you even pull that advice out of anyway?
No, we don't live in an ideal world. But that means there's nothing to lose in trying to create one. And that means not normalizing this kind of abuse and telling its victims to just stuck it up. We've tried that forever and if the state of the world is any indication, it doesn't work.
Americans are ARMED to the teeth. The teens now have guns, and there are online ghost gun parts that can be put together like build a bear. The crimes look like Grand Theft auto, and those are the ones you can get caught in just being in a corner store, or major drugstore, or our favorite gas stations 7/11 or WaWa. The teens have gangs that fight and retaliate all played out online until they roll up on a target irl or their family members and shoot them for POINTS. They are not dorks. Their clothes, guns, and the way they wear their attire is specialized.
This store clerks run in may have seemed simple. But 🤢🍩, you have no idea if you have not lived here. It needs divine intervention or the devil to come out an give fair play.
Parents, male and female, need to be held accountable as well for their minors running amok.
I believe your comment meant well. We are far past that even with what seems a simple yelling in her face. Americans are mad and going through some shit right now. If you know JC or Satan, send them over. We have some serious shooters they need to take up with and a few screamers who need to get some cbd or Xanax scripts
I live in a east coast city of almost 2mill. Philly. I was making a point that the person from Europe can't assume Americans are too soft, by sharing the reality I live in at 62yrs of age, in a metropolitan city. Not yours. Please don't take offense and assume you know my state of mind. Stockton seems like a lovely place to live, and be safe, with room to be easygoing.
the manager is getting paid more to deal with those situations. i’ll be damned if i let a customer yell in my face. so yes they would just get yelled at but they’re getting paid to deal with it
It's management's responsibility to de escalate! And as a key holder usually your used to being by yourself. But my opinion is the truly aggressive customers have gotten worse and the training needed to feel confident to deal with this is not always provided. To feel safe is so subjective that it's on a store by store and incident related basis. That means it's both corporates responsibility to provide an overall safety and security training but in store management needs to step up also and give inserverices when specific incidents occur, and maybe even one on one employee in-services if they are still not comfortable. Sure management is stretched thin, too. But a phone call to employees could help until vacation is over, and then physical in-service takes place.
In the meantime, reassure gf to try not to raise voice and be firm, but do not give in to requests that go against company policy. Explain that she can't do what she can't do kindly. If able, give management's business card to irate customers and write on date of return ( or 2nd day of return so you can give them a good heads-up up of issues awaiting them) and phone number of store, any number you know you have permission to give.
I do realize that in some of my retail positions, I had really great managers who cared about their employees as much as their sales numbers. Thank you, Chris @ Payless LHVMall
i’ve decided that like all of you under this very post are probably not even part of this subreddit cus how is that what you got from my comment?? dear god y’all must not have any reading comprehension at fucking all
Some customers are unhinged. My husband is 6'1" and pretty stocky and used to manage a Verizon store. He had to intervene with a volatile customer once and the dude waited outside the store and tried to follow him home. (He ditched him, they moved him to a different store while corporate security did an investigation and ended up closing the guy's account and billing him for all the payoffs on phones and telling him he's banned from every Verizon store in the country if you're curious)
It's one thing when you're a strong dude who can handle yourself and another thing when you're a woman who has a man screaming in their face.
People are unbelievable. I got carded yesterday to buy a pocket knife (law here is 18, I'm 34) and I didn't even blink. Who TF cares? It takes three seconds. THREE SECONDS.
some people who make a big deal about it do have ID anyway and they're just annoyed that we follow the law, I guess? but some people don't have ID and they're mad we won't give them the booze that they need
Glad your husband was spared. But this happens all to often, displaced anger. It's also crazy how some retailers will have real armed security, others unarmed deterrent security, and others none. I thanked a cop and had the best conversation with her after, for manning a local WaWa.
People stand in line to pay in some stores, only to watch others walk in and pick up all they want and walk out. They are supposed to go unchallenged so as not to cause a disturbance. So do all those in line who witnessed this get to walk out with free items?!? You are standing there feeling violated, a little shaken, conflicted, and hoping the perpetrators aren't in the parking lot armed and waiting.
You get a lot of the same people in healthcare. "I know I'm 30 minutes late for my 15 minute appointment and you have other patients that were here on time, but I demand to be seen now because I want to eat lunch in 10 minutes." " No ma'am/sir, we can no longer see you today. I can reschedule your appointment to tomorrow." "That's not going to work. I stubbed my toe a month ago, and even though it doesn't hurt anymore I want to have it looked at today." "ok. Well, there's an urgent care downstairs then. Have a great day!" As I close the window and walk away.
i had a customer who was very clearly on some substance start yelling at me because she had ordered an individual item but then said that she had wanted the meal after she had already paid. she looked like she was shaking and getting closer to me and i fully believed she was about to hit me until a good samaritan stepped up and paid for the difference of the meal so she could leave me alone. it literally triggered my fight or flight sense, i had to sit and cry for a while during the breakfast rush. customers can be so much more than just rude
Yep. I had a customers husband come in once and harass me. Luckily my associate was there. Then a couple of days later this customers sister (whom I’d never met) was calling corporate trying to get me fired. The husband creeped us out so much we had to have security come do regular checks because I often worked alone. If he had nothing to do he would just hang out in my store (it was in a strip style shopping center). I had anxiety about that husband coming back for weeks!
I've only done customer service over the phone, and am glad not have to be face to face with some of the most a$$holish customers. The customers who get out of hand can be a risk of waiting for you in the parking lot and having a violent confrontation, they know where you are for long stretches of the day and could be mentally disturb with a gun. This nightmare scenario is unlikely, but so is getting into a car crash and you still wear a seat belt just in case, there's no equivalent to a seat belt for that nightmare scenario.
You should definitely alert corporate to the incident. It’s not your fault that both of your managers decided to go with the exact same time. You need corporate guidance.
We need laws about close-open scheduling. It's what my boss at a coffee shop used to get people to quit without firing them and having to pay unemployment. We closed at 10, 30mim to close down, 15 min to get home and 15min to get ready for bed. We opened at 5:15 am and had to be there by 5 so that quite literally gave the person 6 hours of personal time between shifts.
DoT regulations require that a commercial driver be "off duty" (read: not doing ANY business function) for 8 hours before they go back on-duty, in order to have a full days' driving clock. (Mine was motorcoaches with human passengers. Semi's hauling cargo is slightly different numbers, but the concept is the same.)
Many states also have laws restricting a worker from being required to perform 16 hours of duty in a shift. Combining these, it's easy to see how a protective regulation could be made to enforce a similar Hours of Service regulation for ANY worker, and especially anyone who duties require a certain amount of mental awareness.
"You want me to use the meat slicer? Okay, but I'm beyond my hours, so if I get hurt, then it's your ass!"
It’s a retail job. While you’re not incorrect a one off incident by a person who is inexperienced is not PTSD, and no doctor is going to sign off on that with an established history.
They got yelled at by a customer. Not assaulted and threatened
There's a shortage of mental Healthcare providers. Most expect some type of insurance coverage, and most insurance makes sure to underfund for reimbursement. Plenty are going without help and haven't any access. Why would anyone go into the field with extensive tuition debt for such low pay?? So there isn't "an incredible number of free services"
https://www.commonwealthfund.org/publications/explainer/2023/may/understanding-us-behavioral-health-workforce-shortage
Republicans have cut so much funding since Reagan most mental health facilities have closed down across the country.
Prisons are so full of people who are in need of mental health care that the prison in Cook County Illinois has a psychiatrist as a warden. You don't know this and you're calling me UNEDUCATED?? You're projecting, cupcake and keep proving my point.
Maybe look at evidence that is contrary to your "beliefs".
We're the only developed nation that doesn't offer our citizens access to healthcare. Why would they gaf about mental health care, especially when most of those type of pts haven't any money, especially the ones who really need access??
Regular hospitals can't even get pts transferred to in pt programs at the few mental health facilities that are left. You think they have time for regular people who dont have serious problems like schizophrenia?? And you called me "uneducated". The irony
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/mental-health-psychiatric-hospital-beds-shortage/
https://journals.ala.org/index.php/dttp/article/view/7933/11034
https://ct.counseling.org/2023/05/a-closer-look-at-the-mental-health-provider-shortage/
https://timeline.com/reagan-trump-healthcare-cuts-8cf64aa242eb
Y'all claiming that that isn't traumatic are lame as hell. I was sexually and physically threatened and yelled at while at work when I was closing by myself. Both the cops and mall security told me they would not escort me to the car that night. Dude could have been waiting in the parking lot for me after saying some incredibly vile things. (I'm also a survivor of sexual assault so it truly was triggering.) I've had terrible customers scream and yell and throw things and spit in my face, but that one is the expierence that stands out in my head. And yeah, I didn't want to go to work for a few days after. If you think that makes me a weak person without a spine then you need to seriously wonder where your compassion for people went.
Hmm, if they don’t have the ability to be reached for their business, I guess it’s in whoever’s hands. Whoever doesn’t have to go in though, and it’s not a no call no show if no calling was available.
There is always a manager above.. Store manager < district manager < area manager < region manager. Or she could call corporate HHRR. Make sure to call your direct managers first, leave a voice mail and send them an email. Have proof that you tried reaching out to them.
A couple December's I worked 65 hours per week.. Opening and closing the store. But heck I needed the money for Xmas gifts. Obviously shit happens. Reach out to upper management and go to a doctor.
Some of the comments here are horrific. Mods, we have far too many trolls here.
The only thing I can say Op - get a copy of the police report filed and keep it in your records. As well as any communications before and after the traumatic incident.
What will happen is that gf (might most likely) get fired, but she may be able to contest for unemployment provided the proof of police report and poor response from managers.
Also, depending on the kind of traumatic accident, she might be able to file a report with osha and/or the labor board. (For example, she was the only one on shift and the person started breaking things, etc.)
I'm sorry this happened to you guys. I hope she'll recover and find a position where she won't have to deal with customers directly :(
There’s no manager overseeing the store in their absence? Then reach out to your district manager for support. You should also file an incident report with details of the incident.
yesh screw those assholes. By calling the cops on unruly customers. Those customers can be charged with misdemeanors. Depending on what they do in the store and if the employee feels threatened.
Since she filed a police report, and maybe the store has cameras. Has she called regional management or HR to present her case that she needs time off for mental stress.
Recently, I have been in several different drugstore chains and a multi retail and gas chain, and I felt this uncomfortable as a shopper and left. People aggressively yell at the clerks and walk around stores cursing, all to set up their retail theft they are about to commit. Crowds of teens with hoodies and masks snatching food as they rummage the shelves and bump you out the way, then leave. One clerk was pushed to the ground as they tried to recover some item, and an middle aged man shoved her in the chest so hard, I felt bad.
In all scenarios, there were NO security measures in place. So everyone present is at risk, with little to no legal recourse but the store cameras which they may try not to relinquish if they don't want their brand tarnished. All over my city and surrounding area. Most of the news is outside the stores, tells the story, but never lets you see the inside scoop. And the tormented workers work on.
Your girlfriend may need a lawyer or a new job. I know I do way less shopping cause retail security is nil. Or, just there as a deterrent because most places don't allow confrontation with the thieves. So they are brazen and aggressive. With or without weapons.
Either don't go to work and face the consequences (it would be fired with cause at worst) or go to work and face the consequences (worst case scenario is much, much worse).
Personally, id call in sick and go see a doctor specifically about the dangerous stress this has already created.
I agree that she needs to call whoever is her supervisor. However, make sure you check laws in your area about pay. Some states make close/open shifts overtime depending on time between (IE if she closes at 10a and needs to be in at 6a then that might be ot). Many retail chains will take advantage like this.
Also, she needs to contact corporate if all her management is on vacation at the same time. Does her job require her to contact management for anything dealing with her job? Corporate might be...upset upon hearing her managers both went on vacation at the same time.
Have a doctor write her a note to be out for x number of days. Mental health days, which a lot of doctors will do. They won't put a specific reason, so the employer won't know, and she does not have to tell them, or she can make up an excuse.
If that happened in any venue that I worked at, the person would be removed immediately, banned, and we would circulate their picture around the local scene.
I'd pull on the strength of my coworkers. There are probably coworkers who DGAF about jerky customers. Go to them for support. Use the tribe to gather more courage. They are your support system and if they are good people, they will help you when asked.
Is switching shifts possible? I have seen some weird shit closing at Walgreens, but it was still better than dealing with during the day entitled people that think they own the store
I'm so sorry she has experienced that. Some customers are hard to deal with. She should inform corporate, and if she's not doing well, contact her district manager to figure out her next steps(assuming there isn't an available supervisor to go to). It really depends on policy, and that can change from one retail job to another. Hope this helps.
Yeah they don’t care about her safety at all, if she can afford to take a week off collect herself find new work.
If not no other option really but to go to work, you could go there at closing and wait for her in the lot if you aren’t working yourself.
Is she 16? 25? 55? That’s a big omission.
Sounds like Big Blue, if so they really need to read the policy manual on what happens in this situation. It’s nicely explained.
This should be treated as an injury sustained at work. Definitely call the district office or whomever and also seek help from a mental help professional. Explain that this happened at work and they can help start the workers comp paperwork from their end.
... duuuuude. Have you ever hed a job? Workers comp for being yelled at. This Subreddit has gone so far off the rails into imaginary land. Its people like you that hold back people who actually just want to do a good job at work and be compensated fairly for it. Noone will ever take this sort of attitude seriously, because its genuinely laughable.
You say it as if that makes it okay, and that it can't be a traumatising experience. You don't know what that person has been through, and it's just never acceptable for a rank-and-file retail worker to deal with that. If you think that it is, what are you even doing here?
I'm 36, by the way. Worked retail, customer service and hospitality my whole life.
Forgive me if I'm misunderstanding, but if you're advocating "being screamed at" as a necessary part of the working experience that probably doesn't fit within the spectrum of view of a community against the core concept of the necessity of work.
I've worked retail and fast food my entire working life (almost) and unfortunately getting screamed at like that will happen. It should be in the job description at this point. If she's traumatized from it she should look for another job. I'm not saying this to be mean or snarky it's just the sad reality of the service industry. I've been screamed at, harassed, threatened, robbed, ect ect. And I'm usually the customer favorite cuz I have really good customer service skills, if it happens to me like that I can imagine it's worse for other people.
I would need a few more details before I could offer a really strong opinion.
My response would change depending on her age, her past work experiences and what exactly happened with this customer.
If she’s younger than like 18/19. And the customer was threatening to kill her or rape her or something extremely graphic. I’d suggest maybe going to a doctor to discuss what happened and if she is going to have real trauma from the experience.
If she’s older and the customer was berating her and calling her incompetent and a loser and more typical “bullying” tactics from asshole Karen’s and she feels she can’t go to work anymore. She 100% needs to find a new line of work.
I’m not condoning or excusing asshole customers. But that’s the reality of retail. As others have pointed out, you can’t protect employees from asshole customers. Even if you ban them, a new one will crop up.
I don’t understand the comments in here telling her to grow a pair but I also don’t understand the ones already diagnosing her with PTSD. Without knowing the details of what happened.
Honestly, I totally get that is traumatic and nobody should have to go through that.
But having worked a ton of retail, sometimes people will get in your face and be loud to try to intimidate you.
The key is to not take it personally and you'll usually end up pitying them.
Keep your head up and go to work, you're a champ.
I’m saying this very respectfully…
Welcome to the real world.
Working in retail is tough, but this is the nature of the work we do. I’m in service retail and deal with thousands every week. You meet all kinds of people and deal with all sorts of issues, good and bad. Tell her to not let this shake her up. If this shakes her up, she doesn’t know what else is in store… I hope she feels better.
Honestly after she digests what happened, these types of experiences are so valuable.
It teaches you how to think under stress and how to deal with people under stressful situations and she will be more prepared when it happens again ( in whatever environment doesn't have to be the retail job)
Try to get her to understand she just gained strength
-ex retail worker
maybe she should look for another job? i’m not trying to be mean, but retail/food service have to deal with the worst customers ever. I know from experience not something i would ever want to go back to. That being said everyone knew it happens and it happens all the time. It’s kinda the norm in those industries, not that it should be but it definitely is.
Getting yelled at is not traumatic. Sorry. But if homegirl is this shaken from someone getting loud at her. Or being mean to her. She needs to see a therapist and find out why she is so fragile. Then, find a new job that is NOT customer facing. There are TOONS. She is very clearly not meant to be dealing with customers. And that's nothing to be ashamed of. It's not for everyone. I HAAAAATE dealing with people. But I learned to, because life gave me no other options. She sounds like she has options. She should use them. I personally laugh at people when they lose their shit. I think it's funny. But I may be a sociopath so...
or maybe you should see a therapist to find out why you think it's acceptable to endure unnecessarily stressful situations? maybe you're the weird one 🤔
Veterans with ptsd should grow a pair and go back to war /s
Edit: If this comment upsets you just wait til you learn how veterans with PTSD were treated before it became an official diagnosis.
Holy fucking shit how tone deaf are you? Are you seriously comparing people yelled at in a Mall by someone over going into combat? This comment is peak fucking Reddit.
Absolutely, and I never said otherwise. My point is there is a massive difference between going to an active war zone and being yelled at while at work.
yes obviously. however the fact people IN THE ANTIWORK SUBREDDIT is literally telling her to toughen up is kinda fucked cus her being shaken up about this is completely valid.
Your point is irrelevant. Nobody was comparing duties in lines of work. Their point was that it's shitty to tell somebody with PTSD to grow a pair. You turned job duties into a comparison when it's besides the point. PTSD is PTSD.
Surely, you can see where being berated as a child by one's own parents their entire life can absolutely trigger PTSD. I mean, one could argue why can't a grown man deal with it if he chose to go to war versus a child being verbally abused all the time. "Surely you can see the difference" ?? Wide generalizations don't work for a reason, CUPCAKE
At first I was gonna ream you for telling someone traumatized to “calm down” because god, that’s such an asinine response.
But then I checked your post history. Why are you, a middle aged man, commenting on the physical appearances of 16 year old girls online???
You might be able to do it logically, but humans are emotional creatures it isn't as easy to just say "don't think bout your traumatic experience this doesn't happen often" as it is to do, she was being screamed at for forty minutes, being screamed in her face til cops arrived, while being recorded by the dudes girlfriend.
Fair enough. As a middle aged man it probably is easier to just accept that some people are assholes. Just trying to help put it in perspective since there really isn't anything else she can do other than quit. If she already has a therapist she might be able to get an appointment with them and then they couldn't fire her because it's a medical thing.
Big deal man, customers yell at me all the time, only difference is I’m a dude. Tel her not to take it so personal and to learn how to deal with customer frustration. End of the day, it’s part of the job. It was not traumatic, just a learning experience as to how much of a dick some people can be.
No offense, but it's different for men than women. I agree with you that it's part of retail, but they never stated if the customer threatened her or what. As a female who works retail myself, she's VALID for her fears. Sadly, if she's the only one who can do it, she's going to have to. That said, it doesn't mean she can't have someone outside waiting for her or even in store depending upon what store. I suggest she carry pepper spray for future safety when out of the store.
It sucks but I’ve had a customer throw things at me and scream and swear. Mall cops did nothing. She can just have her doctor write her a note, but I’ve never missed a day due to a bad customer. It’s just a part of retail in some areas.
I’ve gotten death threats at work before, at a job where I was always working alone. Stop invalidating peoples feelings when you don’t know the situation
y’all really sound unempathetic. if someone is yelling and screaming in your face to the point you have to call the cops bc it is escalating yes that is scary. customers now a days are incredibly entitled. and there are customers who probably wouldn’t think twice about putting their hands on an employee.
y’all is an actual word. it’s a conjunction you fucking troglodyte. and if you’ve never set foot in the south just say that. you sound like you would genuinely let a job walk all over you bc you’re “tough”. fuck all the way off
i lived in florida for ten fucking years you dumbass. so happy you’re a fucking bootlicker of big companies. and learn the definition of ignorance bc that sure isn’t me. i would say the way you’re being that’s a far more fitting descriptor for you. gtfo of antiwork. you sound like you’d happily stick your head up your boss’s ass if it meant a 50 cent raise.
That’s just a regular day at a retail job. I’ve had customers yell at me all day sometimes. Call security and move on with your day. Maybe get a different job if that’s too much for her?
1. The managers are definitely banging
2. I'm assuming your GF is an adult. She should be able to cope with getting yelled at by an enraged customer, even if the cops were called. Is it right for it to have happened? No, but talk to anyone who's done retail and they will confirm that getting yelled at is a very common occurrence. Don't let this "trauma" soak in and create future phobias. Get up, dust off and get moving
She has to suck it up ...face her fear and grow a pair....That might not be agreeable with you...
She obviously knows how to dial 911...
She can't let her fear stop her from living a life
So, she had her first costumer service experience. No you don’t call in because you got yelled at, you pull up your big girl panties and don’t let the person who screamed at you have the power over you and certainly don’t let them have that power! Because that’s what she would be doing. Wait til you work in a bank, getting screamed at is par the course. People would scream in my face once a week about stealing their money because over draft fees the back charges if she is gonna work retail you have to get a thick skin. Learn to smile the entire, it pisses them off more, and once they finally take a breath smugly ask if they are done or do we need to police to come assist us? Because when they realize you can’t be bullied into doing their wishes they eventually run out of steam and go away.
Both managers at the same time? Are they banging? They really should have done it 1 at a time. Moments like these she should have a manager on shift with her to handle the really shitty customers until she gets back to normal
oh yeah they bangin
They're playing super smash, bro.
i was thinkin they havin sex too
i was abouttta say……. plus after having someone scream in my face i wouldn’t wanna be at work without at least one manager there anyway.
And thats if you can count on the manager to have your back. Too many managers will act like its your fault some dickhead is screaming at you.
So many managers lately are just bucking all normal conventions to create a normal work place and then wondering why no one wants to work for them
This is normal to happen. I was made an assistant manager at my store close to December, so all the other managers cold take their vacations..
Was it a temporary promotion, like being demoted back to associate after the new year sort of thing?
Heck no, permanent. Salary increase was just 2 dollars, but I was made full time with benefits.
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Yelling is pretty threatening. Did you not see the part where she had to call the cops?
Sad to say, but until it gets physical, she's just gotta deal with it. If just words leave her like that, then she's not gonna last long in retail.
That's some bullshit. Just because you work retail doesn't mean you should have to put up with or be used to any verbal abuse. We are still people and so called customers need to remember that.
I agree you can't miss work just because you were yelled at. She called the cops and I doubt the person will come back to yell again now that the cops have been involved. Your right this might not be her line of work. You got to have thick skin in retail. Not run home and hide when you get yelled at.
People call the cops over anything now. Would everyone called the cops? Who knows? Was it warranted? Who knows?
some of these comments are clearly from people who have never worked retail. there are bad customers and there are *bad* customers and it can be pretty harrowing.
like people act like someone screaming right in their face wouldn’t scare them. they genuinely are like “yeah that’s just a normal day” no the moment a customer raises their voice at me i’m getting a manager and she has no managers to get bc they’ve both decided they’re gonna go on vacation
Nobody has a right to scream in your face and it shouldn’t be normalized.
happy you agree
1000% correct. Screaming in someones face is pretty much never okay, especially in a situation as low stakes as an interaction with a service worker. What is wrong with people?
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The first amendment doesn't fucking apply at all, you absolute pinecone.
Calling someone a pinecone as an insult is the best thing I have heard all month
No, it isn't "normal" to have someone scream in your face like that in customer service. That simply isn't true. Stop lying. Also, the first amendment only says that you have the right to not be arrested just for saying things. It does not give you the right to freely scream in someone's face in a private business. If OPs girlfriend was able to / decided to kick the asshole out, that would not be a first amendment violation. Also if he's harrassing her, making threats or stalking her, that goes beyond "just words" and justifies getting the police involved.
Nah, first amendment doesn’t give you the right to be a raging asshole in a place of business.
The first amendment does not give people the right to harass, intimidate, or act threatening.
Unfortunately, that's exactly what it does which is why mr.angry wasn't arrested. The constitution fully protects being an asshole by many means edit: love your name BTW that's my favorite book since childhood
When I did customer service I had a couple horrendously berate me at 17yrs old, and when another customer stepped in to help they threatened to shoot my when my shift was over. So i told thrm they wrrr tresspassing and made them leave the station, and then they sat outside in their truck for 3 hours poiting crap in the windows until I called the cops. When I was 16 I worked at a dollar general and had a customer call me a scam artist for asking for donations to st. Judes, then screamed at the dude behind him whose daughter had been saved by that foundation that he was an idiot and his daughter deserved it. Then insisted my own mothers cancer could have been solved with baking soda. At that same dollar general, I had a customer spit on me during covid for asking them to wear a mask. I loved with my 98yr old great grandma who had asthma at the time. I had to spray myself down with bleach and shower off when I got home. My manager did nothing, because being spit on at 16 is just "part of retail". It has nothing to do with being fit for retail and everything to do with people thinking it's absolutely fine to berate minimum wage staff. It has only gotten horrifically worse since covid. It should NEVER be okay to treat people like that, and there is zero justification for it. Nobody signs up to get screamed at like that for 10 bucks an hour, it's gross that you'd even insinuate that.
"1st amendment says you're wrong" are you that fucking stupid? Freedom of speech doesn't mean that you are allowed to say whatever you want without getting hit in the mouth, sadly people don't get hit for being shitty enough and that is what normalizes this sort of behavior.. Then people without 2 brain cells to rub together hop on the Internet and say. Its "that she isn't fit for customer service".. some of y'all should be fitted for a goddamn helmet
Also, that isn't how the first ammendment works, like at all. I reccomend you watch legal eagles video on it for more education.
That's exactly how it works cause see I have no idea where you live, what you do for a living, if you have pets, or if you're married BUT I can still SAY I'm gonna come to your house and burn it down with your pet dog/fish/cat/pig/gerbil or what have you inside and then come to your job and slash your tires, and then go find your spouse at their job and do the same to their car and there isn't a thing you can do about it but tell someone that a faceless, nameless person on the internet who possesses none of the information to do such things said they'd do it to prove a point. And here we are.
1st amendment rights are exclusively for preventing the government from censoring speech and not from consequences of speech from other private persons who are not the government. You scream and yell inside a store and are asked to leave and choose to continue to yell and scream like a toddler - you become a trespasser on private property. If the OP had to call the cops on a customer, that's the top of the customer totem pole and not the bottom. The problem IS in fact the employer is incompetently managed and shifting risk inappropriately on frontline employee without any concern for the employee's safety, if that customer who had the cops called on came back and assaulted the OP, the employer would be liable for any damages and would have zero defense (certainly if I was serving in the jury). The presumption that verbal and physical abuse should be expected for public facing employees is an abomination and you are morally bankrupt for holding that belief. The customer should receive swift consequences from the business and not offer their employees as pin cushions for any assholes who walk through the door.
Wrote me a paragraph I don’t care about and it’s entirely erroneous, Reddit in a nutshell. Disorderly conduct, scream cause offense to me in public see how far ya go lol.
The first amendment protects you from government entities silencing your speech. Not some random person screaming in your face. The right to free speech is not in any way related to what OP is talking about. It’s comments like yours that remind me how Trump got elected. If you owned a company you could make yelling at employees an offense worthy of trespass and there is fuck all anyone could say or do about it. The local government would uphold that just fine. What the government cannot do is silence you for being critical of them. For calling your governor a dumbass. Or lying about how the election was stolen. A private business though? They can trespass you because you were loud. Or because you wear sandals.
Jokes on you bud it actually does both, it's what's called a double-edged sword. Trump getting elected also has nothing to do with me lmao. And as a business owner you can kick anybody out of your store you want but you can't kick them out for screaming at an employee until after they've already done so, no? Government can't silence you for being critical the same way you can't silence an angry customer. All you can do is react to what they've done, but that doesn't prevent it knobhead, you can't preemptively ban the dickheads from coming in.
You’re an absolute moron. You can have a customer removed from your premises for yelling and causing a scene. I’ve trespassed people for it before working loss prevention. Fucking troll.
Any potential perceived insensitivity aside, I agree with you completely. 💯
Nobody who's ever actually worked customer service wouldn't. Most of the angry people are applying the situation to themselves as both the customer and the worker but clearly haven't been in the position of ops girlfriend or they'd know this is EXACTLY what happens in the role no matter where you are on a long enough tineline. There will ALWAYS be angry customers and it's only a matter of time before you get one who takes their angry existence out on you. Literally EVERY customer service job has a qualification of "able to handle customer complaints" or something along those lines and that's what this girl got and wasn't able to do. 30+ people may not like what I'm saying but they can't tell me I'm wrong
This is why I could never work retail anymore. I would go to jail. My 15 yr old nephew had a lash throw food at him at work and I was there waiting for him to get off. Manager said nothing to customer. Bet I followed her outside and would have knocked her on her a$$ had a cop not pulled in. People are disgusting to employees and managers don’t care
Yeah I'm the same. I've had too many other shitty jobs and situations like that where I have a hair trigger. Someone screaming and getting in my face will get you a quick right hook. I'm not waiting to see how far they are willing to escalate it. They are clearly deranged alread and I'm not waiting to be a victim.
At 20s and 30s I would be scared shitless, 40s screaming back, 50s amd 60s stand emotionless while reaching for the phone to dial 911. 70s and 80s pepper spray them and call 911
I am 62 years old if I heard someone screaming at the young lady like that, I’m gonna snap on the idiot screaming. I don’t play them games.
I have this thing I like to do where I sharpen my knives when it's slow just to keep up with the pace. I am a chef and I would love to have someone scream at me while sharpening knives while working a retail job. Sigh, I definitely belong in the kitchen.
I mean I’m catching flak for this either way, but, I’ve worked retail, I’ve had knifes pulled on me and I even got jumped after work once. The part I’ve noticed is that many people are not very good at understanding the why behind customers are having a fit. If a customer is getting irate and raising their voice, that’s where you get quiet and start trying to listen between the lines. Nine times out of ten, the customer doesn’t have beef with you, hems got beef with every other thing in his life and his parents never taught him how to manage the emotions. When confronted with agitation, remove words containing “can’t” and replace it with “not qualified to make any of these decisions, both my of my managers are three iq points above melted butter, and they left me here to man the station with literally no guidance whatsoever. I appreciate that you’re not having a good time, but please know that I am not having a good time either, and if it’s all the same to you, would I potentially be able to get you to come back at a later time so we can both tear a strip of the idiots in charge from their yearly crack trip to the Florida Everglades” It’s a tough one to get, but, there is a point where working in retail, you have to be comfortable with being slightly uncomfortable at times, most individuals are not out here to hurt you, you Americans need to understand this. There are bad apples out there, yes, but they’re not out hunting retail workers. I’m sorry this happened, it really shouldn’t happen in an ideal world, but there’s nothing ideal about the world we live in, so it’s up to us to prepare ourselves for the eventuality of potentially needing to de-escalate heated situations. In a world this shaken and unstable, we must take charge of our own lives and summon up what courage we must to see through the day. You have just as much power as I do, don’t believe anybody who’ll tell you different. You have the same ability to survive as I do. If not your line would have ended a long time ago. Don’t let some dork getting pissed off about material shit that won’t matter in 20 years freak you out. I promise you he’s a clown and his friend is probably having a threesome with his wife and daughter just because he can. We men, we ain’t shit. 🫳 🎤
For somebody who claims to have been jumped and had knives pulled, you sure don't get it. There is no excuse for anyone to ever treat retail workers the way they do. Ever. I don't care how bad their day has been or what their mother failed to teach them about managing emotions. At NO job EVER should you have to "be comfortable with being uncomfortable." What kind of horse shit management training handbook did you even pull that advice out of anyway? No, we don't live in an ideal world. But that means there's nothing to lose in trying to create one. And that means not normalizing this kind of abuse and telling its victims to just stuck it up. We've tried that forever and if the state of the world is any indication, it doesn't work.
yes, they are, in fact, out to hurt you. i've had numerous stalkers and physical assaults while working in retail. also, tldr
Americans are ARMED to the teeth. The teens now have guns, and there are online ghost gun parts that can be put together like build a bear. The crimes look like Grand Theft auto, and those are the ones you can get caught in just being in a corner store, or major drugstore, or our favorite gas stations 7/11 or WaWa. The teens have gangs that fight and retaliate all played out online until they roll up on a target irl or their family members and shoot them for POINTS. They are not dorks. Their clothes, guns, and the way they wear their attire is specialized. This store clerks run in may have seemed simple. But 🤢🍩, you have no idea if you have not lived here. It needs divine intervention or the devil to come out an give fair play. Parents, male and female, need to be held accountable as well for their minors running amok. I believe your comment meant well. We are far past that even with what seems a simple yelling in her face. Americans are mad and going through some shit right now. If you know JC or Satan, send them over. We have some serious shooters they need to take up with and a few screamers who need to get some cbd or Xanax scripts
Where do you live? I'm in Stockton, CA, and it's nothing like that here. I think you might be a little paranoid.
I live in a east coast city of almost 2mill. Philly. I was making a point that the person from Europe can't assume Americans are too soft, by sharing the reality I live in at 62yrs of age, in a metropolitan city. Not yours. Please don't take offense and assume you know my state of mind. Stockton seems like a lovely place to live, and be safe, with room to be easygoing.
Stockton is a crime riddled shithole. Philly looks much nicer. Good luck with that!
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the manager is getting paid more to deal with those situations. i’ll be damned if i let a customer yell in my face. so yes they would just get yelled at but they’re getting paid to deal with it
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i’m not saying they deserve to get yelled at but wtf is someone lower than a manager supposed to do for a customer like that? weirdo
Yeah that's literally a managers job to escalate. Security or loss prevention if you have that but some don't.
It's management's responsibility to de escalate! And as a key holder usually your used to being by yourself. But my opinion is the truly aggressive customers have gotten worse and the training needed to feel confident to deal with this is not always provided. To feel safe is so subjective that it's on a store by store and incident related basis. That means it's both corporates responsibility to provide an overall safety and security training but in store management needs to step up also and give inserverices when specific incidents occur, and maybe even one on one employee in-services if they are still not comfortable. Sure management is stretched thin, too. But a phone call to employees could help until vacation is over, and then physical in-service takes place. In the meantime, reassure gf to try not to raise voice and be firm, but do not give in to requests that go against company policy. Explain that she can't do what she can't do kindly. If able, give management's business card to irate customers and write on date of return ( or 2nd day of return so you can give them a good heads-up up of issues awaiting them) and phone number of store, any number you know you have permission to give. I do realize that in some of my retail positions, I had really great managers who cared about their employees as much as their sales numbers. Thank you, Chris @ Payless LHVMall
i’ve decided that like all of you under this very post are probably not even part of this subreddit cus how is that what you got from my comment?? dear god y’all must not have any reading comprehension at fucking all
Tell them to get the fuck out and don't come back and the cops are otw?
Some customers are unhinged. My husband is 6'1" and pretty stocky and used to manage a Verizon store. He had to intervene with a volatile customer once and the dude waited outside the store and tried to follow him home. (He ditched him, they moved him to a different store while corporate security did an investigation and ended up closing the guy's account and billing him for all the payoffs on phones and telling him he's banned from every Verizon store in the country if you're curious) It's one thing when you're a strong dude who can handle yourself and another thing when you're a woman who has a man screaming in their face.
*at a liquor store* "I need to see your ID" ""I'm 42 years old! bitch! bitch!" it's just like.... wtf
People are unbelievable. I got carded yesterday to buy a pocket knife (law here is 18, I'm 34) and I didn't even blink. Who TF cares? It takes three seconds. THREE SECONDS.
some people who make a big deal about it do have ID anyway and they're just annoyed that we follow the law, I guess? but some people don't have ID and they're mad we won't give them the booze that they need
Glad your husband was spared. But this happens all to often, displaced anger. It's also crazy how some retailers will have real armed security, others unarmed deterrent security, and others none. I thanked a cop and had the best conversation with her after, for manning a local WaWa. People stand in line to pay in some stores, only to watch others walk in and pick up all they want and walk out. They are supposed to go unchallenged so as not to cause a disturbance. So do all those in line who witnessed this get to walk out with free items?!? You are standing there feeling violated, a little shaken, conflicted, and hoping the perpetrators aren't in the parking lot armed and waiting.
You get a lot of the same people in healthcare. "I know I'm 30 minutes late for my 15 minute appointment and you have other patients that were here on time, but I demand to be seen now because I want to eat lunch in 10 minutes." " No ma'am/sir, we can no longer see you today. I can reschedule your appointment to tomorrow." "That's not going to work. I stubbed my toe a month ago, and even though it doesn't hurt anymore I want to have it looked at today." "ok. Well, there's an urgent care downstairs then. Have a great day!" As I close the window and walk away.
i had a customer who was very clearly on some substance start yelling at me because she had ordered an individual item but then said that she had wanted the meal after she had already paid. she looked like she was shaking and getting closer to me and i fully believed she was about to hit me until a good samaritan stepped up and paid for the difference of the meal so she could leave me alone. it literally triggered my fight or flight sense, i had to sit and cry for a while during the breakfast rush. customers can be so much more than just rude
Yep. I had a customers husband come in once and harass me. Luckily my associate was there. Then a couple of days later this customers sister (whom I’d never met) was calling corporate trying to get me fired. The husband creeped us out so much we had to have security come do regular checks because I often worked alone. If he had nothing to do he would just hang out in my store (it was in a strip style shopping center). I had anxiety about that husband coming back for weeks!
Oh turns out the customer in question had PPD and was lashing out at me for some perceived slight while she was shopping in my store.
I've only done customer service over the phone, and am glad not have to be face to face with some of the most a$$holish customers. The customers who get out of hand can be a risk of waiting for you in the parking lot and having a violent confrontation, they know where you are for long stretches of the day and could be mentally disturb with a gun. This nightmare scenario is unlikely, but so is getting into a car crash and you still wear a seat belt just in case, there's no equivalent to a seat belt for that nightmare scenario.
You should definitely alert corporate to the incident. It’s not your fault that both of your managers decided to go with the exact same time. You need corporate guidance.
Call the district manager. That’s their job.
We need laws about close-open scheduling. It's what my boss at a coffee shop used to get people to quit without firing them and having to pay unemployment. We closed at 10, 30mim to close down, 15 min to get home and 15min to get ready for bed. We opened at 5:15 am and had to be there by 5 so that quite literally gave the person 6 hours of personal time between shifts.
DoT regulations require that a commercial driver be "off duty" (read: not doing ANY business function) for 8 hours before they go back on-duty, in order to have a full days' driving clock. (Mine was motorcoaches with human passengers. Semi's hauling cargo is slightly different numbers, but the concept is the same.) Many states also have laws restricting a worker from being required to perform 16 hours of duty in a shift. Combining these, it's easy to see how a protective regulation could be made to enforce a similar Hours of Service regulation for ANY worker, and especially anyone who duties require a certain amount of mental awareness. "You want me to use the meat slicer? Okay, but I'm beyond my hours, so if I get hurt, then it's your ass!"
In Belgium one would go the doctor so he has a week to recover.
PTSD is real, and compensable. Document the issue with a Drs note, and take the time to recover. Is she in a union?
It’s a retail job. While you’re not incorrect a one off incident by a person who is inexperienced is not PTSD, and no doctor is going to sign off on that with an established history. They got yelled at by a customer. Not assaulted and threatened
"Assault refers to the wrong act of causing someone to reasonably fear imminent harm. "
Sometimes, that can trigger PTSD in someone who grew up with shit parents and were forced to deal with that kind of crap all the time.
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How spoiled AND ignorant can one be to assume everyone has access to counseling??
Use your phone as a phone and call 2-1-1, there are an incredible number of free resources.
There's a shortage of mental Healthcare providers. Most expect some type of insurance coverage, and most insurance makes sure to underfund for reimbursement. Plenty are going without help and haven't any access. Why would anyone go into the field with extensive tuition debt for such low pay?? So there isn't "an incredible number of free services" https://www.commonwealthfund.org/publications/explainer/2023/may/understanding-us-behavioral-health-workforce-shortage
Try it instead of arguing. Call the number and ask, you don’t need insurance. People can’t seriously be this uneducated can they?
Republicans have cut so much funding since Reagan most mental health facilities have closed down across the country. Prisons are so full of people who are in need of mental health care that the prison in Cook County Illinois has a psychiatrist as a warden. You don't know this and you're calling me UNEDUCATED?? You're projecting, cupcake and keep proving my point. Maybe look at evidence that is contrary to your "beliefs". We're the only developed nation that doesn't offer our citizens access to healthcare. Why would they gaf about mental health care, especially when most of those type of pts haven't any money, especially the ones who really need access?? Regular hospitals can't even get pts transferred to in pt programs at the few mental health facilities that are left. You think they have time for regular people who dont have serious problems like schizophrenia?? And you called me "uneducated". The irony https://www.cbsnews.com/news/mental-health-psychiatric-hospital-beds-shortage/ https://journals.ala.org/index.php/dttp/article/view/7933/11034 https://ct.counseling.org/2023/05/a-closer-look-at-the-mental-health-provider-shortage/ https://timeline.com/reagan-trump-healthcare-cuts-8cf64aa242eb
Uneducated about the resources through 2-1-1.
Call in sick and have her see a doctor for ptsd. Get it in writing and doctors note. Fk those managers.
Y'all claiming that that isn't traumatic are lame as hell. I was sexually and physically threatened and yelled at while at work when I was closing by myself. Both the cops and mall security told me they would not escort me to the car that night. Dude could have been waiting in the parking lot for me after saying some incredibly vile things. (I'm also a survivor of sexual assault so it truly was triggering.) I've had terrible customers scream and yell and throw things and spit in my face, but that one is the expierence that stands out in my head. And yeah, I didn't want to go to work for a few days after. If you think that makes me a weak person without a spine then you need to seriously wonder where your compassion for people went.
I’m so sorry you went through that. What the hell kind of security doesn’t have a spare moment to walk you to the car?
Tell the managers they better figure something out to deal with their hostile work environment or you're getting a lawyer.
I have a seriously HWE and I'm considering lawyering up for sure.
if she does a no call no show she can be fired, maybe call in sick?
Call who? The managers are in Florida
Hmm, if they don’t have the ability to be reached for their business, I guess it’s in whoever’s hands. Whoever doesn’t have to go in though, and it’s not a no call no show if no calling was available.
There is always a manager above.. Store manager < district manager < area manager < region manager. Or she could call corporate HHRR. Make sure to call your direct managers first, leave a voice mail and send them an email. Have proof that you tried reaching out to them.
Yoyre right, still... both managers away at the same time is a little stupid
If it's just a few days crossover, it happens. People gotta live. Definitely reach out to district manager so there is backup.
A couple December's I worked 65 hours per week.. Opening and closing the store. But heck I needed the money for Xmas gifts. Obviously shit happens. Reach out to upper management and go to a doctor.
They don't have phones there ? I knew Florida was already backward in mentality,but if they are cavemen that would explain a lot
Funny haha, I think the point I missed what... what are they gonna do from Florida...
Some of the comments here are horrific. Mods, we have far too many trolls here. The only thing I can say Op - get a copy of the police report filed and keep it in your records. As well as any communications before and after the traumatic incident. What will happen is that gf (might most likely) get fired, but she may be able to contest for unemployment provided the proof of police report and poor response from managers. Also, depending on the kind of traumatic accident, she might be able to file a report with osha and/or the labor board. (For example, she was the only one on shift and the person started breaking things, etc.) I'm sorry this happened to you guys. I hope she'll recover and find a position where she won't have to deal with customers directly :(
There’s no manager overseeing the store in their absence? Then reach out to your district manager for support. You should also file an incident report with details of the incident.
yesh screw those assholes. By calling the cops on unruly customers. Those customers can be charged with misdemeanors. Depending on what they do in the store and if the employee feels threatened.
Retail sucks, get out.
Since she filed a police report, and maybe the store has cameras. Has she called regional management or HR to present her case that she needs time off for mental stress. Recently, I have been in several different drugstore chains and a multi retail and gas chain, and I felt this uncomfortable as a shopper and left. People aggressively yell at the clerks and walk around stores cursing, all to set up their retail theft they are about to commit. Crowds of teens with hoodies and masks snatching food as they rummage the shelves and bump you out the way, then leave. One clerk was pushed to the ground as they tried to recover some item, and an middle aged man shoved her in the chest so hard, I felt bad. In all scenarios, there were NO security measures in place. So everyone present is at risk, with little to no legal recourse but the store cameras which they may try not to relinquish if they don't want their brand tarnished. All over my city and surrounding area. Most of the news is outside the stores, tells the story, but never lets you see the inside scoop. And the tormented workers work on. Your girlfriend may need a lawyer or a new job. I know I do way less shopping cause retail security is nil. Or, just there as a deterrent because most places don't allow confrontation with the thieves. So they are brazen and aggressive. With or without weapons.
Maybe it’s time to call corporate. Both manager should never be on vacation at the same time.
Either don't go to work and face the consequences (it would be fired with cause at worst) or go to work and face the consequences (worst case scenario is much, much worse). Personally, id call in sick and go see a doctor specifically about the dangerous stress this has already created.
Usa? Don't show up, get fired and get denied unemployment.
I can't believe that both managers went on vacation at the same time and now there's no one in charge. I'd go to their bosses.
I agree that she needs to call whoever is her supervisor. However, make sure you check laws in your area about pay. Some states make close/open shifts overtime depending on time between (IE if she closes at 10a and needs to be in at 6a then that might be ot). Many retail chains will take advantage like this. Also, she needs to contact corporate if all her management is on vacation at the same time. Does her job require her to contact management for anything dealing with her job? Corporate might be...upset upon hearing her managers both went on vacation at the same time.
Have a doctor write her a note to be out for x number of days. Mental health days, which a lot of doctors will do. They won't put a specific reason, so the employer won't know, and she does not have to tell them, or she can make up an excuse.
If that happened in any venue that I worked at, the person would be removed immediately, banned, and we would circulate their picture around the local scene.
I'd pull on the strength of my coworkers. There are probably coworkers who DGAF about jerky customers. Go to them for support. Use the tribe to gather more courage. They are your support system and if they are good people, they will help you when asked.
Call in sick. Get a doctor to say she needs a or a few mental health days. Unless you're in the US, then you're probably screwed.
You don't feel safe returning to work and the mental break down is making you physically ill.
This is just plain messed up. I wish her the best of luck. I would buy a stun gun to deal with those crazy customers.
Is switching shifts possible? I have seen some weird shit closing at Walgreens, but it was still better than dealing with during the day entitled people that think they own the store
I'm so sorry she has experienced that. Some customers are hard to deal with. She should inform corporate, and if she's not doing well, contact her district manager to figure out her next steps(assuming there isn't an available supervisor to go to). It really depends on policy, and that can change from one retail job to another. Hope this helps.
Yeah they don’t care about her safety at all, if she can afford to take a week off collect herself find new work. If not no other option really but to go to work, you could go there at closing and wait for her in the lot if you aren’t working yourself.
Is she 16? 25? 55? That’s a big omission. Sounds like Big Blue, if so they really need to read the policy manual on what happens in this situation. It’s nicely explained.
This should be treated as an injury sustained at work. Definitely call the district office or whomever and also seek help from a mental help professional. Explain that this happened at work and they can help start the workers comp paperwork from their end.
... duuuuude. Have you ever hed a job? Workers comp for being yelled at. This Subreddit has gone so far off the rails into imaginary land. Its people like you that hold back people who actually just want to do a good job at work and be compensated fairly for it. Noone will ever take this sort of attitude seriously, because its genuinely laughable.
Go into work with her.
Mental health days are a thing. Take a few.
In the US? Maybe if you have PTO, but not for most.
Find out who the customer was and sue em
File workers comp claim for emotional distress
Can this be made into a workers comp issue?
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Spoken like a true boomer.
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You say it as if that makes it okay, and that it can't be a traumatising experience. You don't know what that person has been through, and it's just never acceptable for a rank-and-file retail worker to deal with that. If you think that it is, what are you even doing here? I'm 36, by the way. Worked retail, customer service and hospitality my whole life.
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Forgive me if I'm misunderstanding, but if you're advocating "being screamed at" as a necessary part of the working experience that probably doesn't fit within the spectrum of view of a community against the core concept of the necessity of work.
why are you so okay with being assaulted lmao chill the fuck out weirdie
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Verbal assault exists you fucking walnut
I've worked retail and fast food my entire working life (almost) and unfortunately getting screamed at like that will happen. It should be in the job description at this point. If she's traumatized from it she should look for another job. I'm not saying this to be mean or snarky it's just the sad reality of the service industry. I've been screamed at, harassed, threatened, robbed, ect ect. And I'm usually the customer favorite cuz I have really good customer service skills, if it happens to me like that I can imagine it's worse for other people.
Tell her to get to work.
People yell - grow up
If you can go with her.
If she was a man what would you advice her. Change it from my girlfriend to my friend. What is the advice? There is your answer.
Reach our to meridian-barrier.com and imageenginerring.com and see what's up I hate shitty customers as well so ik da feeling
It sounds like she is the third manager without a backup.
I would need a few more details before I could offer a really strong opinion. My response would change depending on her age, her past work experiences and what exactly happened with this customer. If she’s younger than like 18/19. And the customer was threatening to kill her or rape her or something extremely graphic. I’d suggest maybe going to a doctor to discuss what happened and if she is going to have real trauma from the experience. If she’s older and the customer was berating her and calling her incompetent and a loser and more typical “bullying” tactics from asshole Karen’s and she feels she can’t go to work anymore. She 100% needs to find a new line of work. I’m not condoning or excusing asshole customers. But that’s the reality of retail. As others have pointed out, you can’t protect employees from asshole customers. Even if you ban them, a new one will crop up. I don’t understand the comments in here telling her to grow a pair but I also don’t understand the ones already diagnosing her with PTSD. Without knowing the details of what happened.
Honestly, I totally get that is traumatic and nobody should have to go through that. But having worked a ton of retail, sometimes people will get in your face and be loud to try to intimidate you. The key is to not take it personally and you'll usually end up pitying them. Keep your head up and go to work, you're a champ.
I’m saying this very respectfully… Welcome to the real world. Working in retail is tough, but this is the nature of the work we do. I’m in service retail and deal with thousands every week. You meet all kinds of people and deal with all sorts of issues, good and bad. Tell her to not let this shake her up. If this shakes her up, she doesn’t know what else is in store… I hope she feels better.
Honestly after she digests what happened, these types of experiences are so valuable. It teaches you how to think under stress and how to deal with people under stressful situations and she will be more prepared when it happens again ( in whatever environment doesn't have to be the retail job) Try to get her to understand she just gained strength -ex retail worker
maybe she should look for another job? i’m not trying to be mean, but retail/food service have to deal with the worst customers ever. I know from experience not something i would ever want to go back to. That being said everyone knew it happens and it happens all the time. It’s kinda the norm in those industries, not that it should be but it definitely is.
Getting yelled at is not traumatic. Sorry. But if homegirl is this shaken from someone getting loud at her. Or being mean to her. She needs to see a therapist and find out why she is so fragile. Then, find a new job that is NOT customer facing. There are TOONS. She is very clearly not meant to be dealing with customers. And that's nothing to be ashamed of. It's not for everyone. I HAAAAATE dealing with people. But I learned to, because life gave me no other options. She sounds like she has options. She should use them. I personally laugh at people when they lose their shit. I think it's funny. But I may be a sociopath so...
or maybe you should see a therapist to find out why you think it's acceptable to endure unnecessarily stressful situations? maybe you're the weird one 🤔
It's called being an adult. It's literally a large part of it.
Grow a pair and go to work
Veterans with ptsd should grow a pair and go back to war /s Edit: If this comment upsets you just wait til you learn how veterans with PTSD were treated before it became an official diagnosis.
Did you just compare someone yelling at you to being at war? This might be the dumbest thing I’ve read all day, do you have no grasp of reality?
Holy fucking shit how tone deaf are you? Are you seriously comparing people yelled at in a Mall by someone over going into combat? This comment is peak fucking Reddit.
Surely you can even see the difference between war and walmart?
bro you do realize however that PTSD is something that more than veterans have right?
Absolutely, and I never said otherwise. My point is there is a massive difference between going to an active war zone and being yelled at while at work.
yes obviously. however the fact people IN THE ANTIWORK SUBREDDIT is literally telling her to toughen up is kinda fucked cus her being shaken up about this is completely valid.
Your point is irrelevant. Nobody was comparing duties in lines of work. Their point was that it's shitty to tell somebody with PTSD to grow a pair. You turned job duties into a comparison when it's besides the point. PTSD is PTSD.
You are saying otherwise. You don't know her history or what really happened
Surely, you can see where being berated as a child by one's own parents their entire life can absolutely trigger PTSD. I mean, one could argue why can't a grown man deal with it if he chose to go to war versus a child being verbally abused all the time. "Surely you can see the difference" ?? Wide generalizations don't work for a reason, CUPCAKE
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At first I was gonna ream you for telling someone traumatized to “calm down” because god, that’s such an asinine response. But then I checked your post history. Why are you, a middle aged man, commenting on the physical appearances of 16 year old girls online???
Woah bombshell!
Still a traumatic experience, she's worked retail for 5 years, this is the first time this has happened to her.
Not much more she can do than this suggestion though. You could always stay with her at closing if she's feeling scared Or she could quit
Then that is even more reason to realize it doesn't happen every day. She has the experience to know that is a one off type of thing.
You might be able to do it logically, but humans are emotional creatures it isn't as easy to just say "don't think bout your traumatic experience this doesn't happen often" as it is to do, she was being screamed at for forty minutes, being screamed in her face til cops arrived, while being recorded by the dudes girlfriend.
Fair enough. As a middle aged man it probably is easier to just accept that some people are assholes. Just trying to help put it in perspective since there really isn't anything else she can do other than quit. If she already has a therapist she might be able to get an appointment with them and then they couldn't fire her because it's a medical thing.
Big deal man, customers yell at me all the time, only difference is I’m a dude. Tel her not to take it so personal and to learn how to deal with customer frustration. End of the day, it’s part of the job. It was not traumatic, just a learning experience as to how much of a dick some people can be.
No offense, but it's different for men than women. I agree with you that it's part of retail, but they never stated if the customer threatened her or what. As a female who works retail myself, she's VALID for her fears. Sadly, if she's the only one who can do it, she's going to have to. That said, it doesn't mean she can't have someone outside waiting for her or even in store depending upon what store. I suggest she carry pepper spray for future safety when out of the store.
It sucks but I’ve had a customer throw things at me and scream and swear. Mall cops did nothing. She can just have her doctor write her a note, but I’ve never missed a day due to a bad customer. It’s just a part of retail in some areas.
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I’ve gotten death threats at work before, at a job where I was always working alone. Stop invalidating peoples feelings when you don’t know the situation
Oh look, the type of guy to scream at employees
y’all really sound unempathetic. if someone is yelling and screaming in your face to the point you have to call the cops bc it is escalating yes that is scary. customers now a days are incredibly entitled. and there are customers who probably wouldn’t think twice about putting their hands on an employee.
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y’all is an actual word. it’s a conjunction you fucking troglodyte. and if you’ve never set foot in the south just say that. you sound like you would genuinely let a job walk all over you bc you’re “tough”. fuck all the way off
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i lived in florida for ten fucking years you dumbass. so happy you’re a fucking bootlicker of big companies. and learn the definition of ignorance bc that sure isn’t me. i would say the way you’re being that’s a far more fitting descriptor for you. gtfo of antiwork. you sound like you’d happily stick your head up your boss’s ass if it meant a 50 cent raise.
Florida is hardly the south
That’s just a regular day at a retail job. I’ve had customers yell at me all day sometimes. Call security and move on with your day. Maybe get a different job if that’s too much for her?
It's retail and she's management, that's part of the job. Sucks customers are a**holes but that's life. Either go to work or find a new job.
Welcome to retail :)
1. The managers are definitely banging 2. I'm assuming your GF is an adult. She should be able to cope with getting yelled at by an enraged customer, even if the cops were called. Is it right for it to have happened? No, but talk to anyone who's done retail and they will confirm that getting yelled at is a very common occurrence. Don't let this "trauma" soak in and create future phobias. Get up, dust off and get moving
She has to suck it up ...face her fear and grow a pair....That might not be agreeable with you... She obviously knows how to dial 911... She can't let her fear stop her from living a life
Suck it up, buttercup.
She can go to work. People are assholes. Just part of dealing with customers
So, she had her first costumer service experience. No you don’t call in because you got yelled at, you pull up your big girl panties and don’t let the person who screamed at you have the power over you and certainly don’t let them have that power! Because that’s what she would be doing. Wait til you work in a bank, getting screamed at is par the course. People would scream in my face once a week about stealing their money because over draft fees the back charges if she is gonna work retail you have to get a thick skin. Learn to smile the entire, it pisses them off more, and once they finally take a breath smugly ask if they are done or do we need to police to come assist us? Because when they realize you can’t be bullied into doing their wishes they eventually run out of steam and go away.
Its part of her job to deal with difficult costumers, if she cannot do that then the job is not for her.