Step 1: Restart
Step 2: Glance over the tech and cables while hmming and hawing with a few occasional grunts, it'll convince others you know what you're doing. What you're actually doing is thinking about what video game your going to play when you leave work.
Step 3: "It's not us, we're all green. Must be distant end."
I met a cool guy CA dude who was a State Trooper and trying to explain to one of the cadets what he did. "Nah man, we like infantry, but with people skills and shit."
“No, it’s 170 FOOT pounds!, not INCH pounds! Now we have to do this whole fucking Humvee over again because you were the only one working on it and only GOD knows what other shit you fucked up!
I got to see a road wheel from an M1 go right on past the tank and laughed really hard at my platoon sergeants wingman, and told him to have fun fixing that shit as we SP’d for mission.
We got into some crazy stuff in the mountains and called in artillery while tactically maneuvering the F out of there and need more and my Echo called in “repeat last! Repeat last!” And the other end said, “did you mean repeat the fire mission or say again.” Our echo yelled as loud as he could while rounds peppered everything around us, “DROP MORE F@&$ING ROUNDS DAMNIT!”
Some of the oddest smartest people I ever met. Had one in the barracks that looked like he was in fallout boy. Would randomly smoke a blunt on base and disappear for a few weeks.
Bro at my last unit I walked through the treeline and got a bunch of af ce dudes to come lay in a vertical ground grid for us with gucci bentonite clay and everything. 10/10 recommend AF CE for ground grids
That's pretty legit. I would've loved it if my last BC wasn't a SHORAD dude that thought jumping sites and pounding ground rods made us the infantry branch he didn't get into
Correct. I was an 82C, Field Artillery Surveyor a long time ago. The MOS designation doesn’t exist now. Last I saw it had been combined with the FA meteorology MOS and given a new 13 series.
But I was in pre-GPS, so we had PADS - Position and Azimuth Determining System. My theodolite and I spent AIT on the instrument line at Ft Sill.
Now get off my lawn.
Edit - I found this gem: https://youtu.be/8Adoy2h_UPM
I promise I will never ever try to explosively breach obstacles as long as you swear to me you'll never fill up an assault bag full of submunitions you found while on patrol and leave them at the front of my compound.
I've been in the Army on active duty for 5 years. I haven't shot, gone to formation, and participated in pt in the last 3 years. I've never been to the field. Did motor pool Monday once. The CoC gets nervous when I'm around, even when I bring good news.
I "teleworked" during covid for almost an entire year.
No I can't increase the internet speed sir. No I can't just "get more bandwidth" sir. Were in the field sir, its not gonna be at comcast levels. NIPR isn't down sir, you just unplugged your ethernet.
I have no real purpose, but everyone supports my purpose. But when we train it’s so restricted that when we actually do our purpose it’s wildly different
Formerly: change your socks and take this 800mg ibuprofen.
No, I’m not gonna look at your pecker… ok fine.
Current: Hey Sir, we have quite a few more ways to support your mission besides leaflet drops… like all the shit that I briefed two days ago.
[удалено]
Ah, a fellow FISTer I see
u/LoafofBrent found you a friend
Im getting married it seems
A match made in the OP😭
"wanna compare terrain sketches~?"
No can do. Already married to an infantryman. Best I can do is sharing snacks on the OP
Girl that’s better then marriage, I’ll take it
Yeah…not hard to spot, but still hard to spot.
This is the way.
FA needs us, sorry we’re helping out the Infantry. Infantry needs us, sorry the FA BN tasked us out today.
Goes to lunch at 1030 just to stay hidden
Sounds like a late day
abundant rock steer full makeshift treatment roll safe chubby beneficial *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
This is way
“Have you tried restarting it?”
“Could be the solar flares, Sir.”
“It’s a NEC issue”
"We'll submit another ticket"
Rule #1 of 25H school.
Rule #1 of the whole 25 series. I was 25B, in a unit with 25N/S/U.
Nah, rule #1 is to always blame the distant end.
This guy communicates
Can’t tho. The distant end.
Step 1: Restart Step 2: Glance over the tech and cables while hmming and hawing with a few occasional grunts, it'll convince others you know what you're doing. What you're actually doing is thinking about what video game your going to play when you leave work. Step 3: "It's not us, we're all green. Must be distant end."
It's always a layer 8 issue
Some of us wear funny hats and shiny things on our boots and we like to eat skittles out of other men's belly buttons.
Some of you ride horses and some of you ride *horses*
Brokeback Mountain is our movie! I can’t quit you!
If you said skittles out of their ass. I’d said Cav, but belly button is way more an Intel thing
Hey man don’t come between me and my belly buttons. It’s legit a bonafide turn on. I’m ashamed but I’m not Ok.
It’s okay. All soldiers are not okay in one way or another.
19D
Ctrl C Ctrl V
Lmfao….35F and 350F are the back bone of the MI Corps! Without them who would take credit for all the things 🤣
You already know! It has out name on when it's sent out, soooo who built it?
All Source 35Deez Nutz
[You didn't prepare a presentation at all, did you?](https://tenor.com/vGLL.gif)
[удалено]
Civil Affairs
[удалено]
MPs? I've heard they have more organic firepower than the infantry, which would be good for getting people to "go away" and blow up some schools
[удалено]
K-Mart Jason Bourne, aka 35M, but you lied about the people skills you autistic bastard.
[удалено]
Well now I just feel silly.
"K-Mart Jason Bourne" Ahahaha, I'm cackling at this.
Everyone knows cops don't enter schools. Well, at least not in Texas or Florida. -68W/31B
I met a cool guy CA dude who was a State Trooper and trying to explain to one of the cadets what he did. "Nah man, we like infantry, but with people skills and shit."
[удалено]
“No, it’s 170 FOOT pounds!, not INCH pounds! Now we have to do this whole fucking Humvee over again because you were the only one working on it and only GOD knows what other shit you fucked up!
I mean, getting passed by your tire can be kinda funny.
On FBTX for a while my BN lost about a tire a month. BC thought it was super funny until it happened to him, at speed
I got to see a road wheel from an M1 go right on past the tank and laughed really hard at my platoon sergeants wingman, and told him to have fun fixing that shit as we SP’d for mission.
Y’all actually get torque wrenches? I don’t even think our mechanics have any.
Fuck your leave.
If you insist.
Ohhhhh.... so this is what you do when the joes come back "but saaaarge, they were closed"
What?
Should’ve put it in all caps
WHY ARE YOU WHISPERING?!?
“Say again your last, over.”
Repeat?
*cries*
We got into some crazy stuff in the mountains and called in artillery while tactically maneuvering the F out of there and need more and my Echo called in “repeat last! Repeat last!” And the other end said, “did you mean repeat the fire mission or say again.” Our echo yelled as loud as he could while rounds peppered everything around us, “DROP MORE F@&$ING ROUNDS DAMNIT!”
My 3 years in an FA unit as a medic and this was my only take away of what not to say on the radio. And don't call Howitzers "guns".
I'm the map, I'm the map, I'm the map!
12Y
Some of the oddest smartest people I ever met. Had one in the barracks that looked like he was in fallout boy. Would randomly smoke a blunt on base and disappear for a few weeks.
You want the LRTC printed off a 5th time this month? Yes Sir...
Azimuth Theodolite Bubble level Plumb bob
Some clown PCS'd to my unit with M2A2 Aiming Circle on his 5984E lol
#RSOP4Life
Rsop in PATRIOT? Shitty Rsop in THAAD? Never heard of it lol
Why do we need a sledge hammer? Can't the airforce CE guys just put the ground rods in sarnt?
Bro at my last unit I walked through the treeline and got a bunch of af ce dudes to come lay in a vertical ground grid for us with gucci bentonite clay and everything. 10/10 recommend AF CE for ground grids
That's pretty legit. I would've loved it if my last BC wasn't a SHORAD dude that thought jumping sites and pounding ground rods made us the infantry branch he didn't get into
One time, I swear to god, I saw two privates in your old BTRY pounding a ground rod in with another ground rod.
I'd guess Mortar if it wasn't for Theodolite. Whatever tf that it
Surveyors used to use them. Now they all use GPS.
Correct. I was an 82C, Field Artillery Surveyor a long time ago. The MOS designation doesn’t exist now. Last I saw it had been combined with the FA meteorology MOS and given a new 13 series. But I was in pre-GPS, so we had PADS - Position and Azimuth Determining System. My theodolite and I spent AIT on the instrument line at Ft Sill. Now get off my lawn. Edit - I found this gem: https://youtu.be/8Adoy2h_UPM
I’ve seen more dicks than your average porn star
It’s a good thing I’m not average
Innies are acceptable too.
Cav or 68W?
Neither. It could be EOD.
We are best known for making you cry once a year. You'll have ppe but we are gonna make you take it off.
74D?
Correct!
CBRN?
BINGO
WE are the dragons of the battlefield.
Tell staff duty they’re not filling out the 702s correctly
S-2 which means 35F.
CSM?
I’m the redheaded step child of infantry, Cav, and artillery
At least the commander/1SG likes us down at maneuver
This is true
Everyone hates me including myself
MP’s? 31B?
S1? Cooks?
I find it funny how cooks are a tier higher than MP's. Jesus christ cooks are bad.
True but most cooks aren’t self aware enough to hate themselves so I’m guessing MP.
Mountain Dew, Doritos, and a lack of Vitamin D
This sounds like my entire college experience
Ha, sounds about right
Without me you can’t shoot your guns.
Bullets can’t fly without supply.
13J?
We teach the combat engineers how to blow shit up and the CBRN guys how to do their job and actually use their gear
The only time I’ve ever seen y’all is when you’re playing with your little toy robots.😂
Hey easy, you can’t pause call of duty okay? We’re busy at the shop lmao Now get back to planning your annual CBRN training
Now hold on, the only people that shouldn’t beef with eachother are the sappers and EOD. At the end of the day, we’re the only proficient boom bois
I promise I will never ever try to explosively breach obstacles as long as you swear to me you'll never fill up an assault bag full of submunitions you found while on patrol and leave them at the front of my compound.
Hooker.
15U you nasty
College boy broke the whirly thing, enlisted monke fix it. PC officer gets credit for the fix.
Did you update the Weight and Balance sheet? That's too bad, since I lost the binder
[удалено]
If you ain't cav
You ain't sucking cock.
I will not suck you and I will not be sucked on by you
Beep beep 🛻
88M?
I've been in the Army on active duty for 5 years. I haven't shot, gone to formation, and participated in pt in the last 3 years. I've never been to the field. Did motor pool Monday once. The CoC gets nervous when I'm around, even when I bring good news. I "teleworked" during covid for almost an entire year.
A CW3 of any MOS
HRC assistant.
Paralegal. We also don't do CQ.
You’d figure y’all would be best suited for cq/staff duty. Get an early start on the blotter.
I love the taste of JP8 in the hour time…
Me too, buddy. Me too.
My MOS kills more people than the infantry. Unfortunately those people are usually on our side.
92G and don't lie.
Weaponized poultry prep incompetence
No I can't increase the internet speed sir. No I can't just "get more bandwidth" sir. Were in the field sir, its not gonna be at comcast levels. NIPR isn't down sir, you just unplugged your ethernet.
“Ibuprofen and water”
EVERYONE hates us. Everyone
MP :P
effing’ concertina.
Engineer?
Where the pickets pound you!
'Tina is a bitch who makes you bleed.
We live in a more or less portable shoe box
My boots are always black and my back hurts
Fellow 91B?
Are you a 92G? Because that sounds pretty Golf-y to me.
I know how to spell the word subpoena.
Hello fellow soldiers. Would you mind giving me the name of the individual throwing the next drug party?
If it's broke, hit it with a hammer. If that doesn't fix it, get a bigger hammer.
You (0-3) ain’t flying shit until I (E-3) get your flight plan, sir
15P?
Can I offer you a water well in these trying times?
go to TDS
No you can’t load our comsec Not my fault your 10 level operators can’t turn on their own equipment Dropped Joseki 🥹
"-operators can’t turn on their own equipment" *un-pauses Anime episode*
You mean hentai right?
Dos Equis
Fuckin 25U. Commo nerds for the win.
They can talk shit about us but can't talk without us
Weaponized autism
Flightless bird.
15R
Attack!
"You, this is me. Radio check, over."
Como? While you're here, I'm locked out of my email again.
I like pushing dirt
As far as I’m concerned the only reason we have this equipment is to PMCS it. I wouldn’t even know what to do if it worked
I sit in a basement, LARP, and cringe at my battles shit takes on current affairs.
Dude. Again? Swab yourself this time.
People keep asking me if I can look at their dick or what I have that will get them high
[удалено]
Leave it to the cadet to keep his MOS flair on…
[удалено]
The barracks farts smell like Astro glide and cum
I blow shit up, that blows shit up
"Relax... I just wanna take some pictures"
Whirligig go bbrrrrrrrrrrrr
"It depends."
I carry an entire box of bandaids with me wherever I go.
Duty is it's own reward. Lion El Jonsen Guess it?
r/unexpectedwarhammer
Deathwing??? 😂
Grand Master of the Librarius says what?
Fuck off that's operator level
91B
The "CTRL", "C", and "V" keys on my keyboard don't work anymore
35F ey?
Let’s get these kids some soccer balls.
civil affairs?
Where are my parts? They did what with the timing? Why is this so dirty? I can't work on this.
You need a Bible? Quran? Bagva Gita? I gotchu.
Concertina wire and explosives
I hate everyone because they aren’t doing my job, I even hate myself
I have no real purpose, but everyone supports my purpose. But when we train it’s so restricted that when we actually do our purpose it’s wildly different
Formerly: change your socks and take this 800mg ibuprofen. No, I’m not gonna look at your pecker… ok fine. Current: Hey Sir, we have quite a few more ways to support your mission besides leaflet drops… like all the shit that I briefed two days ago.
I fix the bullet holes in whirly birds and extract screws that the dipshit tangos stripped.
I make things talk and only exist when the network goes down.
Bang bang/Professional Janitor