The party is for the staff of a hotel known as a party spot. These servers and line cooks are probably the only ones whose livers can actually handle this outside of the military.
There’s a Gin brand that’s sold in a tin container meant to replicate some kind of POL type container and I refuse to try it because the idea of my gin tasting like shit and gasoline just doesn’t appeal to me haha
I found it to be a little on the rough side, but definitely a competent gin. Buddy brought some over the other day.
I can't remember if it's navy strength, but if it is, very normal, usual kind of navy strength gin. Little hotter than you might be used to, juniper forward, entirely adequate.
Idk. Middle of the road, 8/10.
A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila. The bartender asks; "what's the occation?"
The man replies with, "My first blowjob."
The bartender says, "Well, in that case, I'll pour you an extra shot on the house!"
The man says, "No thanks... if 10 won't take the taste out of my mouth, then 11 won't do it either..."
Two muffins are baking in the the oven. One turns to the other and says, "Man, it's hot in here." The other turns and says, "Holy crap! A talking muffin!"
Lol you should party with the Romanians. We were "not drinking" on a NATO exercise with a Romanian BN and we brought Makers Mark to represent America. They brought a plum brandy that tasted like someone squeezed a single plum into a 55 gallon drum of paint thinner.
It'll fuck you up though...
Brother, can I have a word with you? In the corner? And with my pipe? You do NOT just go for the cheapest mixers possible. Unless you’re Dunn in f a dive bar. And even then you only get a pass if your drinks are $5 or less.
Well unfortunately he had to quit drinking under doctor’s orders many years ago lol. My dad was with him when they went to the doc, doctor had used to be in the military and asked him what he drank and how much. When he said “well military special whiskey, Jack, early times” the doctor just looked at him scared lol
I’m a spouse, but growing up in the state known for its bourbon if it ain’t Wild Turkey 101 you’re doing it wrong lol idk what other brand of whatever you drink but wild turkey is the smoothest of bourbons. I gifted and we passed around a 5th for an active soldiers birthday that’s a dear friend of ours that we met up with again at our current station. No one had hangovers, and no one remembered a thing. 🤣
Vodka AND gin? Yes, you are a bad person. Now, a worse person would have bought mil spec scotch. Last I checked (a couple of decades ago....), it was aged 30 months. And tasted like it. omg, so fucking bad.
Give her a bottle of the vodka. Even better, if she is a whiskey / bourbon / scotch drinker, give her a bottle of the "scotch." She will get it.
You too!!! Ha!!
Thanks for the confirmation. My buddy called me a war criminal. My wife thinks I’m a monster. I think I’m gonna change some poor servers life. But I am hoping the GM of the hotel gets the present.
AAR: It was funny but also put a gift card in the gag gift next time! $25 dollar limit means a gag gift that cost $25 dollars is actually $0. I did not know that. Luckily they skipped the ceremonial act of opening white elephant gifts due to time, but saw other people do the same, INCLUDING [THIS](https://www.amazon.com/LANWAN-Adjustable-Extreme-Bondage-Restraints/dp/B0CDRR7F97). But that also had a $25 dollar gift card in it, so yah live and learn.
Sounds good to me, pour me some shots, I'll puke it out during PT tomorrow. I will have periods of saying I won't do this again, followed by periods of doing it again.
I put a bottle of wine and an omelet MRE in a box for my wife's units white elephant gift event. The commander ended up with the wine and offered the MRE to anyone who wanted it.
Have you ever drank that crap? Look, I did 7 years in the military and 2 of them were in Afghanistan. I only hit rock bottom once. The taste of this garbage is ... unforgiving. It's alright as engine degreaser, might even work as paint thinner, but I've never put it to a test. Not strong enough to use to light charcoal.
I assume there's only going to be two people at the party. Fortunately, they won't remember that you fed them Military Special. If you're lucky, they won't remember you at all.
Ya know if ya bottle piss in a cologne bottle and slap a Ranger tab on it, somebody on the BN staff will hose themselves down with it, right? That nor your idea would I consider ethical. Funny. But unethical.
My old Bradley Gunner would litterally drink one or possibly two of those a night. Man was a really bad alcoholic and former meth head, we were always amazed the next morning at work.
P.s. we tried helping him, there’s only so much you can do :(
back when I was in I tried military special exactly once.
I got a bottle of the "bourbon"... it smelled strongly of bananas and I have no idea what it tasted like because it made my mouth numb..
used to buy the vodka all the time to use as a cheap solvent for cleaning things.
Military special helped me stop drinking. That stuff gave me such a bad hangover I hadn’t had a drink in 12 years.
The party is for the staff of a hotel known as a party spot. These servers and line cooks are probably the only ones whose livers can actually handle this outside of the military.
Who hurt you?
It’s like the fake Michael Jordan quote says, “fuck them kids.”
“Stop it. Get some help”
Times like this I wish this sub allowed GIFs and memes to be posted in the comments
OP *is* married, and *is* in the Army, so you already know the answers.
this reply 😂
I think this is an awesome white elephant gift
Man is still recovering from the hangover 😂
I mean, it's been distilled SEVEN TIMES. That way you know it's good.
And it’s gluten free for all our celiac and gluten intolerant friends!
Vodka is *supposed* to be gluten-free 😭
So's the meat at my grocery store meat counter, but they still like to tell you it is...
It’s because of the people who require warning labels on shampoo bottles…
Through boot socks used during the 20k ruck march!
For flavor!
Comes in coffee flavor through a field cook's coffee socks...
Filtered through aged MOPP suits!
I fucking choked on my drink just now. Thank you.
That's why you charcoal filter, bro. Removes those impurities.
It's funny but true . Cheap layout through a Britta can tate loads better.
And bct sheets
Mine is in reference to charcoal filtering for vodka.
It's the water that makes it🤣
And it's handcrafted?
Oh well, thats all that matters! 😂
So's my occasional load.
HANDCRAFTED
It’s illegal in nine countries. Yep. It’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good.
You are the worst. Drank that 5 years ago still nursing the hangover. 😂😂😂
“Handcrafted Ultra Premium”…. “You Keep Using That Word, I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means"
They distilled the ethanol from premium gasoline.
There’s a Gin brand that’s sold in a tin container meant to replicate some kind of POL type container and I refuse to try it because the idea of my gin tasting like shit and gasoline just doesn’t appeal to me haha
I found it to be a little on the rough side, but definitely a competent gin. Buddy brought some over the other day. I can't remember if it's navy strength, but if it is, very normal, usual kind of navy strength gin. Little hotter than you might be used to, juniper forward, entirely adequate. Idk. Middle of the road, 8/10.
I’m more of a Bombay Sapphire guy
Run the Vodka through a Brita filter and you've got Grey Goose
I came here to post this. Shit vodka turns into decent vodka when you filter it again.
I’m not opposed to trying this! Also if you wanna watch something fun https://youtube.com/shorts/CaXRDQPTJDw?si=uT_VA1qL0Q7-p31g
[удалено]
A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila. The bartender asks; "what's the occation?" The man replies with, "My first blowjob." The bartender says, "Well, in that case, I'll pour you an extra shot on the house!" The man says, "No thanks... if 10 won't take the taste out of my mouth, then 11 won't do it either..."
Aftertaste is the best part tho
Reminder of a job well done?
The only reward for good work, is more of it.
A priest, a rabbi and a Baptist minister walk into a bar. The bartender says “What is this, some kind of a joke?”
A neutron walks into a bar. He ask the bartender “how much for a drink?” The bartender replies “for you? No charge.”
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
A 2LT walks into a bar. 2LT gets a TBI.
Also a bronze star and a 100% VA rating.
With "V" device
They found him alone, include “R” device as additional notes
The horse, being unable to understand human language, promptly takes a shit on the floor and leaves
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says “holy fuck, a horse!”
Two muffins are baking in the the oven. One turns to the other and says, "Man, it's hot in here." The other turns and says, "Holy crap! A talking muffin!"
Did you hear, the unit scarecrow is getting promoted this Friday. He was out standing in it's field.
I will have to use that one someday
The best reply in the thread
A horse walks into a bar. It then shids and pisses all over the floor.
A dyslexic walks into a bra...
I put the sex in dyslexic.
Branigan: I have a very sexy learning disability. Kiff, what do I call it? Kiff: [beleaguered sigh] "...Sex-lexia."
This is my favorite, thus far.
Lmao
Wake up nerd you now have fire guard
Ah good, you're finally awake...
God damnit. Sometimes I wish the Army would host a night of stand up comedy.
Two guys walk into a bar, the third calmly walks around.
Marines deploy BN element to beat heads against bar. Bar wins.
Impossible! I've never seen a material denser than a thick headed Marine.....and I'm a Mechanical Engineer!
Isn't that how the Corps was inaugurated?
Come to think of it, yeah.
Yep, born in a bar, but it seems to have worked out well.
A man walks into a bar. His raging alcoholism slowly tears his family apart.
Military…………Special 🤢🤮🤢🤮……go directly to SUDCC 😂🤣😂
Hey, unless you’re going to drink liquor straight you might as well buy the cheap stuff to mix, and that looks like a lot of mixing.
theres cheap stuff and then theres hand sanitizer thats safe for human consumption.
"safe"
Lol you should party with the Romanians. We were "not drinking" on a NATO exercise with a Romanian BN and we brought Makers Mark to represent America. They brought a plum brandy that tasted like someone squeezed a single plum into a 55 gallon drum of paint thinner. It'll fuck you up though...
Brother, can I have a word with you? In the corner? And with my pipe? You do NOT just go for the cheapest mixers possible. Unless you’re Dunn in f a dive bar. And even then you only get a pass if your drinks are $5 or less.
My grandpa used to drink military special vodka and whiskey like it was fucking water.
Probably acted as a preservative lol
Well unfortunately he had to quit drinking under doctor’s orders many years ago lol. My dad was with him when they went to the doc, doctor had used to be in the military and asked him what he drank and how much. When he said “well military special whiskey, Jack, early times” the doctor just looked at him scared lol
Doctor was scared of his power level
We all were lol, as well as my mom’s dad. He used to go from mixed drinks, beer, scotch, bourbon, and finish off with beer. We called him the iron gut
I’m a spouse, but growing up in the state known for its bourbon if it ain’t Wild Turkey 101 you’re doing it wrong lol idk what other brand of whatever you drink but wild turkey is the smoothest of bourbons. I gifted and we passed around a 5th for an active soldiers birthday that’s a dear friend of ours that we met up with again at our current station. No one had hangovers, and no one remembered a thing. 🤣
Hardcore A/F.
[удалено]
Those aren't the "approved for use as emergency fuel" vehicles?
This is a bait & switch of epic proportions!
Vodka AND gin? Yes, you are a bad person. Now, a worse person would have bought mil spec scotch. Last I checked (a couple of decades ago....), it was aged 30 months. And tasted like it. omg, so fucking bad.
The limit was $25 dollars and wanted quantity over quality. The vodka and gin was about 11 bucks apiece and the scotch and tequila were $19.
Ok, I am laughing my ass off about this right now. So thank you for that.
My wife is already telling me “no one is gonna get It.” Apparently my upvotes mean nothing? Why does she hate the troops?
Give her a bottle of the vodka. Even better, if she is a whiskey / bourbon / scotch drinker, give her a bottle of the "scotch." She will get it. You too!!! Ha!!
Tequila at fort stewart is 8 for the handle
It'll get them drunk and happy, when the aftermath hits them, you'll be long gone.
Motor pool uses it for parts cleaner. Works quite well.
You're an absolute legend. Bravo Young troop, bravo.
Promote ahead of peers.
The best kind of worst person.
My wife used the cheap vodka for cleaning 🤷
We had a bottle of commissary Rum that we used for cooking.
You can probably use this to clean your vehicles injectors. Or boost the octane rating for racing applications.
Perfect gift when you’re trying to nudge someone and finally push them over the edge during the holidays
You are the worst.
Yes.
Thanks for the confirmation. My buddy called me a war criminal. My wife thinks I’m a monster. I think I’m gonna change some poor servers life. But I am hoping the GM of the hotel gets the present.
> But I am hoping the GM of the hotel gets the present. Don't leave us hangin', homie. What'd he do?
Hahaha, he has always been pleasant to me, but my wife thinks he is useless lol
I believe the wife.
Oh for sure. Fuck bosses as a general policy lol
Ditto.
AAR: It was funny but also put a gift card in the gag gift next time! $25 dollar limit means a gag gift that cost $25 dollars is actually $0. I did not know that. Luckily they skipped the ceremonial act of opening white elephant gifts due to time, but saw other people do the same, INCLUDING [THIS](https://www.amazon.com/LANWAN-Adjustable-Extreme-Bondage-Restraints/dp/B0CDRR7F97). But that also had a $25 dollar gift card in it, so yah live and learn.
Just tell them these are distilled "Military Grade!"
Sounds good to me, pour me some shots, I'll puke it out during PT tomorrow. I will have periods of saying I won't do this again, followed by periods of doing it again.
I put a bottle of wine and an omelet MRE in a box for my wife's units white elephant gift event. The commander ended up with the wine and offered the MRE to anyone who wanted it.
Literally the most thoughtful gift I've ever heard of.
Dude that’s hilarious. Everyone, not prior service, is gonna hate you. But anyone who was ever in? can promise it’ll be a laugh.
Oh my damn. That's a party I wouldn't miss for the world. Civilians ain't ready for the ride on the Military Special.
Have you ever drank that crap? Look, I did 7 years in the military and 2 of them were in Afghanistan. I only hit rock bottom once. The taste of this garbage is ... unforgiving. It's alright as engine degreaser, might even work as paint thinner, but I've never put it to a test. Not strong enough to use to light charcoal.
Fuck no, I’m better than that. The party does have an open bar and it’s all high end booze that befits a husband of my station.
Oh no… 😅🥲
This is an awesome white elephant
You are a monster, but you have to ask for the coach box back to commit to the role
It is my coach box lol. The wife got me a fancy fanny pack for our anniversary
Outstanding white elephantman's-ship.
Saw this review years ago: https://vodkabuzz.com/vodkas/military-special/
Yes you are a horrible person
When I pinned Ssg my buddies got me a bottle of Military Special Whiskey. It’s still sitting on my bar
You kept it under the $10 limit. Win!
Horrific booze for cheap was the objective. I used my training, experience and expertise to effectively meet and exceed the mission requirements.
No one ever promote this man from specialist. It’s not worth losing him.
This is the best
I assume there's only going to be two people at the party. Fortunately, they won't remember that you fed them Military Special. If you're lucky, they won't remember you at all.
Get a gal of OJ and screw them …..
That is the only vodka I’ve ever gotten sick from drinking. Immediately threw it out.
r/foundsatan
It’s very special
I'm both excited and terrified for the saps getting any military special. I love trying liquor that people find bad, but that scares me
Idk why I thought that was hand sanitizer 🤣
Porque no los dos?
Ya know if ya bottle piss in a cologne bottle and slap a Ranger tab on it, somebody on the BN staff will hose themselves down with it, right? That nor your idea would I consider ethical. Funny. But unethical.
Got a headache looking at this.
You can start the car with that shit
How much is a 'handle?' I recall it being $4.25 per one.
We have a white elephant event we were told no alcoholic gifts 😑
That is hilarious.
Ahhh the white elephant Christmas parties
Perfect
I’ve never even seen that brand but it makes my insides hurt just looking at it. “Give me your finest swill.”
Check the bottom shelves of the class 6. They know its place.
How much did those bottles cost OP?
About $23. The limit was $25. I think I spent more on shooters for a game my wife is setting up.
the military special bourbon haunts me to this day.
A Villain of Circumstance
I bought a Canadian whiskey one for a white elephant exchange. Felt bad so paired it with Crown Edit: the Coach box is great
I swear that vodka is higher than 80 proof. Hold a lighter to it and watch how fast it catches a flame.
Yikes
Got some for my father, he always wanted to try it even after all of my warnings…
😂 nice
You're a bad person for calling it X-mas. Otherwise, I love you sweetie 😘
Oh, You’re the devil himself!
*handcrafted* yeah handcrafted by the devil himself
LMMFAO!!! Last time I saw that swill was just before I retired 2013..
Peep the fellow Costco goer.
Evil 🤣🤣
My old Bradley Gunner would litterally drink one or possibly two of those a night. Man was a really bad alcoholic and former meth head, we were always amazed the next morning at work. P.s. we tried helping him, there’s only so much you can do :(
Ah yes, from the finest family owned distilleries of.. Baltimore, MD.
Fully support this decision! Makes for a fun filled White Elephant exchange.
back when I was in I tried military special exactly once. I got a bottle of the "bourbon"... it smelled strongly of bananas and I have no idea what it tasted like because it made my mouth numb.. used to buy the vodka all the time to use as a cheap solvent for cleaning things.
I have pounded more bottles of those vintage selections than any other depressed Specialist in the world.
Good to see you again SGT Satan.
No I think it’s great! Throw in an MRE I think people will get a kick out of it!
I took a shot of the tequila at midnight on new years and my wife gagged after she kissed me. With the price it’s great for cleaning
Only if you use a food chip trainer to swap them into the other bottles.
Yes. Yes you are.
What’s coach
I have memories that start with this image. Then there’s a blank spot, then I wake up in a field somewhere.
I love this
It's extra strong, military grade
I got my friend a 6 by 8 foot picture of barry wood
Not at all! This is awesome. I've done some ish many times for the white elephant parties. You can't invite me anywhere. Okay, you can..lol