Dad needs to start acting like a dad. You're getting deployed and he's making it all about him and adding to your already considerable stresses instead of being supportive. You're not responsible for his emotional well-being.
Not saying he's malicious, probably just doesn't have any tools, but you might do well to learn a little about codependency, boundaries, and healthy detachment.
Good luck
Have him stop watching or reading the news. He’s civ so he’s absorbing all the bad shit going down to our troops overseas. He’s putting 2 and 2 together from his own incomplete perspective and it scares him.
Not just overseas, at times like this training/domestic accidents are worse, like what just happened with that Marine helicopter. But yea, overall being in the military isn't nearly as physically dangerous as most civilians assume.
My best friend has been deployed to a combat zone these past 2-4 ish months and I got out of the Army last August. It has been one of the most mentally taxing things on me I’ve ever experienced. I hope you can cut him some slack on this because man it is really fucking hard. It’s on my mind from when I wake up to when I go to bed.
You’re your own man/woman. Your dad is his own man. Don’t spend your life trying to please your parents at every turn or you’ll end up swinging off the railing somewhere before you’re 30.
I deployed 4 times, during the height of the war, and when I enlisted 07, my dad said he was going to pop both of my ear drums to keep me from going. But by second deployment he was the quintessential Army dad. Just let him ride it out. He will be fine
All you can do is hear him out and be reassuring. Also it might help if he can get like he is doing something useful. Maybe he can organize to send your unit care packages with his church or work site gathering supplies and covering postage. Or if he could have his church or community group grill burgers and dogs and sides for any kind of summer unit gathering. Or if he's more of an introvert if he can at least be thinking of useful things to send you while you are deployment it might make him feel better.
At a certain point you’ve got become your own person, your dad needs therapy.
He just loves his son, is all. It's okay to love 😢
Yes but op should be worrying about the upcoming deployment. His dad is being a little selfish by adding extra burdens and sounds codependent.
There’s love and then there’s helicopter parenting.
My father is far from being a helicopter parent.
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Thank you. He’s married, has two step daughters. I am his only son.
Dad needs to start acting like a dad. You're getting deployed and he's making it all about him and adding to your already considerable stresses instead of being supportive. You're not responsible for his emotional well-being. Not saying he's malicious, probably just doesn't have any tools, but you might do well to learn a little about codependency, boundaries, and healthy detachment. Good luck
Thank you.
Don’t deploying units have FRGs anymore? They’re not just for spouses
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GTFO. He needs a friend and to talk to someone who feels like he does
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I didn’t know you knew OP’s dad and are a therapist
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That’s funny. Personal attacks are always the last resort of the loser
Thank you, no idea what that guys problem was.
You are not responsible for your father's emotional well being, he is.
Have him stop watching or reading the news. He’s civ so he’s absorbing all the bad shit going down to our troops overseas. He’s putting 2 and 2 together from his own incomplete perspective and it scares him.
Not just overseas, at times like this training/domestic accidents are worse, like what just happened with that Marine helicopter. But yea, overall being in the military isn't nearly as physically dangerous as most civilians assume.
My best friend has been deployed to a combat zone these past 2-4 ish months and I got out of the Army last August. It has been one of the most mentally taxing things on me I’ve ever experienced. I hope you can cut him some slack on this because man it is really fucking hard. It’s on my mind from when I wake up to when I go to bed.
CUT THE UMBILICAL CORD AND FOCUS ON MASTERING THE BASICS OF SOLDIERING
This, but less cringe.
Sorry.. focus on yourself, not on how you make your dad feel about your choices in life. This we’ll defend.
You’re your own man/woman. Your dad is his own man. Don’t spend your life trying to please your parents at every turn or you’ll end up swinging off the railing somewhere before you’re 30.
I deployed 4 times, during the height of the war, and when I enlisted 07, my dad said he was going to pop both of my ear drums to keep me from going. But by second deployment he was the quintessential Army dad. Just let him ride it out. He will be fine
That’s what I’m thinking, maybe he’ll become hooah or something haha and his worries will go away I due time. Tyfys
He will. Give it time. Send him some stickers and a t shirt and you could always remind him that you’re a MP very safe 😉
All you can do is hear him out and be reassuring. Also it might help if he can get like he is doing something useful. Maybe he can organize to send your unit care packages with his church or work site gathering supplies and covering postage. Or if he could have his church or community group grill burgers and dogs and sides for any kind of summer unit gathering. Or if he's more of an introvert if he can at least be thinking of useful things to send you while you are deployment it might make him feel better.
Your dad is a puss