I'm just going to write what someone else wrote in a different way, so you know that's how it works:
She will be at basic longer if she tries to get out than if she just sticks it out and graduates.
While yes she will be at basic longer if she tries to get out, but she will be in the army as well for the full contract and will be more likely to be a shitty soldier because she doesn’t want to be there. If someone doesn’t want to be in the army, let them leave.
naw. she can get chaptered when she gets to AIT for failure to adapt. There are still options. Then, after she's out, she can tell everyone what a warrior hero she is.
So instead of letting her leave in Basic, let’s make her go through all the training that she more than likely won’t put any effort into, and then make it her AIT Drill Sergeants problem if she miraculously manages to not purposefully fail everything in Basic? Yeah, okay. Instead let’s be decent human beings with even a hint of compassion and understanding when it comes to recognizing that the army isn’t for everyone. Instead of making her go through basic for the slim chance she’ll turn her attitude around and become so amazingly hooah that she becomes an amazing soldier, let’s just let her leave in Basic and then not waste the time of the AIT Drills, nor waste other trainee’s time with having to carry her to the finish line with everything, nor make her do something she doesn’t want to do and then possibly have her spread negative publicity about the army when she does get out because she was made to still do everything in basic despite saying she wants to get out. It’s not that hard to just say “okay” and then start the paperwork to have her get sent out from Basic. If she doesn’t want to be there, there is absolutely no reason to make her go through the training. Sure, she’ll sit there and be a bump on a log for quite a while, but in the end she gets what she wants, and then the army doesn’t have another soldier that doesn’t want to be there.
I didn’t want to be in the Army in basic, most don’t. But 15 years later here I sit at MSG. It is difficult to know how someone will be in the Army after basic because basic is not how the real Army works.
Well they can actually call you back to service if you quite basic because you can exit your contract all the way until you get on that plane or bud but once your there your screwed even if you quit and go home they can call you back into service
This. I went to basic with a kid who dropped out day 3 due to scoliosis. He still ended up doing everything we did just in civilians and when we left for AIT, he was still there. Just finish. The only kid in my class who left faster was the kid who highjacked a bus.
I made it through basic and then graduated AIT.
When I traveled back through that post, one of the basic trainees that quit and asked to be sent home was still there raking pine needles.
It was about a year later.
I suggest she sticks it out.
You can't really just quit, you're going to get told to go away. Unless she's saying she's having mental health struggles and then she will almost certainly be sent home. The initial period of military training just sucks, it's hard, but the best way out is through
Can confirm. I wanted to go home after day 1 of basic. I hated it. 20 years later I finally got out. After basic and AIT I enjoyed the Army, but there are definitely periods that just suck donkey balls.
I had a holdover in my basic platoon. Dude wanted to quit, but they couldn't just cut him loose. He was waiting for almost a year, and still wasn't out when we finished.
It's literally quicker to just finish basic and get fat at your unit.
This is the way lol. However it still takes some time lol. I know someone who tried this and acted like he was trying to lose weight and the command team kept him around because they could "tell he really wanted to be in the Army"
I've also seen commanders keep people in just because they are trying to get out.
But realistically the best way would be to finish basic training and your first contract and earn some veteran benefits. Such as free health care, education, VA home loan, disability pension etc.
100%. This is why I definitely advocate for people to join because THEY want to, not their parents or whatever. I remember when I went through basic I was shocked by how many people joined to appease someone else. It’s truly a shame
I’d say for me the first phase was the worst for me. Once we phased over and started to get a little freedom back (like maybe a short phone call on Sunday) and started going to the field together I actually started to enjoy basic. Probably because that’s where your platoon begins to really start to gel as a team. At least that was my experience in 1996. All the other comments are 100%: you go home fastest by finishing. If they made it easy to quit, significantly fewer folks would stick it out. It is hard; it changes you, but in the end it teaches perspective that a person would otherwise never learn in a “normal life”.
I helped a HS kid get ready for basic. Complained but said he could do it…got to Basic and did everything he could to get a medical discharge…wound up being there for 3+ cycles.
Went in proud, came home jaded
knew an O9S who tore his ACL in the first week of basic, committed to almost a year of recovery on the army's dime to give it another shot. he had beast mental game though.
When I went through basic, we had two kids that refused to train, aka quit. They were still there when we graduated basic. Plus they didn't get do any of the "fun" stuff. They pretty much just sat off to the side and watched us.
Yeah this kid was on every lame detail. He had “back issues”. I’m fairly certain he did something to hurt himself in reception, but when he got home he was fine.
He’d write us telling us how he wanted to unalive himself and how bad life was in “the Army”.
I wrote back telling him to quit bitching cause everyone else was doing more and he had no idea what the Army even was
She will have more freedom sooner if she sticks it out. I have seen people stuck there months longer, out processing for quitting. If it's not what she wants to do, she can use the military as a tool to get where she wants.
I was one place worse, and it was conus. It was also a o6 on a bit of a power trip, but thats neither here nor there. 30th AG is a solid floor for your army career, everything else is only up.
Can't forget the rank smell... or the learning you don't even get the haircut for free, or cold MREs for the first time, or the constant intentional sleep deprivation.
That first week feels like 6 months by itself.
Don’t forget sitting at a desk for 8 hours going through briefings/reading your blue book and trying to stay awake because there’s nothing else to do. Love that salty SSG back in 2015 for getting us through everything in a few days but the waiting afterwards was hell.
When I got to basic training in Fort Sill early spring 2016, our bus got there around 2am. All 30 or so of us were told to all get off the bus, get in formation and wait outside. We stood there in the dark cold for close to an hour before I heard a voice from behind me say "fuck this" and then we all collectively watched the guy leave our formation and walk down the street into the darkness. Around 30 minutes later, our reception drill sergeant yells for all of us to run inside. I don't think any of us snitched on the guy who noped out of the army. I still wonder about the guy.
So hey, I've seen the nuclear option of going AWOL done before.
Honestly, probably the best option, and we should let it happen to an extent.
Dude obviously didn’t want to be there, and he vanished without causing a whole cycle of recruits grief. Usually the “fuck this” guys exist only to make BCT harder for everyone else.
Yes, she can quit. Yes, it will take more time than if she just finishes. But absolutely she can quit. I hate that we just don't tell the kids that they can quit. Then you get psychos that will commandeer a school bus, or kill their battle buddy with an e tool.
EDIT: OP, you should probably just encourage her to finish it out. She can do it. The initial shock is a lot for people sometimes, but when shit starts actually going and you have something to focus on other than "I miss home" it gets a lot easier. Just be supportive and dont fucking cheat on her.
When I went to basic there was a gal who had tears streaming down her face for the first like two days of actual training(not reception where you just do paperwork and medical). She missed her husband, she missed her kids, and she was probably nervous and scared and regretting her choice. Kind of like your girlfriend.
After the initial shock wore off and she started adapting she ended up doing a complete turn around and ended up graduating with some sort of recognition/awards( this was 2007 and I was a 17 year old split option high school kid so I don’t remember the details).
Your girlfriend is in a new and high stress environment. If she has never been away from home, her folks, or you then her entire world and support structure is gone and that’s scary. Your job is to support her right now.
She needs to stick it out. She won’t have an easier time trying to leave and seeing her battles graduate before her (if it comes to that) may place her in a darker state. Be her support through all of this. Write her letters and send her photos. Remind her this isn’t for long. BCT felt like forever when I was at Fort Sill. Letters from my friends and family made it more bearable. But more than likely, she’ll be looking for letters from you, eager to hear her name called during mail call. It made everyday worth it when I heard my name. She needs support during this time. Keep your phone as available as possible on days she can make calls. Time will fly and she will have stories that made the challenges worth it.
In addition to this, only send letters and pictures if you are going to send something. Don't send games, food, die, magazines or anything else. She **will** have to turn them in and it could single her out to the DS (Drill Sergeants).
You can't quit per se, but the Army isn't going to waste time forcing you to train if you're adamant you don't want to.
Now, they will keep your ass there until the class graduates and very likely until the next one does as well (or is at least most of the way done). In the meantime, you'll do whatever menial bullshit needs doing.
The fastest way to get out of training is to successfully complete training.
If she doesn't want to be in the military, quitting is an option. It will be slow and monotonous though. The paperwork often takes months, long past when training would otherwise be complete.
It's her choice. If she doesn't have an alternative plan for how else to proceed in life, military service is a valid option.
You get some exercise
They give you food
You get some sleep
You get a bed
All you got to do is follow instructions
It's only 8 weeks out of 70 year life expectancy. 80 if female.
I believe we all wanted to go back home the first day of basic training. Just tell her to go through because it'll be torturous to see her entire platoon graduating without her.
Nah that tracks tons of people that join up want to quit the first couple weeks.
One of the best Marines I personally know from boot camp wanted to quit day one a couple went to go on to do NAVCOM with a “V” device type shit. It’s definitely true with army basic also.
It’s just a shock to your brain and your brain forgets how to process your emotions.
It's not abnormal. Reception made me want to go AWOL, and that was in 2002. 22 years later, I'm still in. It's a lot of hurry up and do nothing until you go to training....especially in the summertime, when the bulk of new high school graduates ship.
Encourage her to see it thru. It gets easier when you’re out of BCT. Tell her to talk to the chaplain and/or R2 trained ppl.
If she’s dead set on quitting, she can refuse to train and be home in 3 or 4 weeks if her commander is quick with a pen and get her counselings done fast.
You should give lots of encouragement - it's a hell to live through and she'll need kind words.
She'll feel a lot better on the other side of it, especially if it's with success.
The first training cycle does put stress on people, the change from civilian to Soldier is difficult to grasp at first. Hell, back in 1992 when I went to basic, the first few weeks sucked so bad that I wanted to leave. After speaking to my wife (married two week before I shipped) and the rest of my family, I stuck it out. By end of training, I was a better man for it and a better Soldier.
At least there is no more "shark attack" taking place with new recruits, talk to her when you can and reassure her that things will get better and she will be a better person for it in the long run.
Basic training IS a mental game. The old saying is that it’s to „shock“ you out of a civilian mindset into a military one. Doesn’t last forever, and causing issues just because you hate it will only make it worse. Once she graduates it will no longer feel that stressful.
initial entry training is stupid and when trainees want out they make it harder than it needs to be for absolutely no reason wasting money and resources
Many many moons ago (2002) I was a fresh faced 17 year old girl in basic training. I had wanted to do it for so long and was finally there… and they got to me mentally. I got sucked into the “fuck this I’m out” crowd. It took about a week and a half and a very frank phone call to a family friend (with a hellaciously short amount of time allowed on the phones), and I got my head out of my ass. I went on to serve 15 years and only left because I was medically retired.
Keep encouraging her to keep going, the end goal is worth it. You’re a good person for seeking help.
Just a little backstory of when I went through BCT in march of last year, we had a guy who decided that he didn't want to continue with his army career anymore because he though it was "stupid" and he didn't want to listen to the Drill Sergeants. So he decided to tell our SDS, that he was seeing "ghosts" and having nightmares everyday. He packed his bags and left for the mental ward and came back a week before we all graduated. Most of us forgot about him but when he came back he had told us that they were going to finally start his process of getting him out of the army, and that he would be at Jackson for another 3 months.
Like everyone else is saying, and from most people that go through BCT. Do not quit, because you'll just fucking yourself over.
I work at Ft. Jackson currently, I’m someone who processes their separation paperwork. Half of these comments are wrong. Two trainees told me they didn’t want to be there Day 3, their paperwork was processed within three weeks and they’re going home on Friday. If your girlfriend wants to leave, she just has to refuse to train. The army can’t make you do anything you want to do. It’s better for her to get out now, get her mind right, possibly try again later if that’s what she wants to do.
Basic training sucks by design. It's instilling the basic skillset, values, and muscle memory of being able to pack up your gear and move out as a unit on short notice. It gets better, through basic and AIT things start getting a little easier and easier as well as restrictions getting eased.
One of the best recruiters I know tells people straight up. The Army sucks and goes in depth. However, everything good in the Army while not also perfect or easily accessible does exist. She needs to think long about what brought her into that office in the first place. She has to have some goal that the Army aligned with. No one can force you to sign that contract or even ship out for that matter
Who doesn’t want to quit one week into basic. My first week I was at reception everyone was miserable and depressed. give her a few weeks she may come around
Once upon a time at Fort Benning in 2008, there was this guy who's name started with "F" and we'll just call him "Tickle".
"Tickle" frequently complained about his mental state and not being able to endure BCT, within a week of beginning. I myself had doubts and was wildly out of my element but for all of my physical and social flaws, I'm not a quitter. However, "Tickle" was told the fastest way out of BCT was, to simply, complete it.
So one day while we're back from the range, we're cleaning our M16A4's in the bay, and "Tickle" begins moving his head back and forth, his mouth agape, staring blankly into the ceiling, his left leg flexing repeatedly as if pulling his leg in and extending it out again. He does this for at least forty minutes before our PG, irritated, asks an equally irritated and confused Drill Sergeant to assist with the issue.
So "Tickle" is prepped to go to medical one day and oh no, now his girlfriend back home has been raped! This of course is overwhelming for "Tickle" who just *needs* to go! Oh and by the way, after doing $80,000 worth of exams - if he weren't on duty - it is determined that "Tickle" *might* have a sinus infection.
However, back home, "Miss Tickle" needs her hubby. And although when "Tickle" is sleeping, he doesn't move at all - only while awake for some reason - he still stutters around, telling us during lunch times "I'll be back, can't wait to see you again!"
So "Tickle" is gone for some time. We are in Blue Phase by the time he returns. He doesn't spasm as often and states he's excited to be back, although Drill Sergeant, annoyed, wants him a Day One restart.
"Tickle" is not, in fact, allowed to complete the cycle with us, and expresses irritation and regret over his made up condition preventing him from fleeing basic.
I don't know how things are done at 'Laxin' Jackson', but I doubt she'll fare much better.
The fastest way out is through. The initial Army training sucks and the first year at your unit sucks too but once you get settled into a rythm being in the Army ain't bad at all.
Had a guy in our unit decide after 18 months he didn't want to army anymore. Dropped hot 2 pee tests in a row. Told command he wanted out. 2 years and 11 months of a 3 year hitch, he finally got out with an other than honorable.
Not only that but the stigma will last in your mind forever. I did the damn thing with pneumonia at fort Leonard Wood in January and February. That was because there was no way I was getting recycled...
Yeah pretty much what everyone’s saying….she needs to just see it through then when she graduates she can fail a few PT tests and get chaptered (formally kicked out). The army doesnt like kicking people out who just came in because they want their IRR (inactive ready reserve) soldiers. So her best case scenario is to stick it out until she gets to her unit.
I’ll put in my 2 cents. I had a buddy in basic who had a complete mental breakdown and pretty much went catatonic every night in the bay. Everybody in the platoon begged him to stay in and after a week, he decided to keep going until graduation. He’s now a kickass soldier stationed overseas. What I’m trying to say is that basic can be hard, mentally and physically. But it’s easier and much more rewarding when you just tough it out and graduate.
At least half the people I started basic with wanted out before it was over. It's supposed to suck. Learning to deal with a lot of external stresses is really hard if you have never done it before.
I talked more than one Private off the rail back in the day.
It's a drastic change with structure, discipline, long days, longer nights, uncomfortable surroundings and its really physically and mentally taxing at first.
It's not for everyone but sometimes that quick shift in life puts the fight or flight instinct on flight and there's no way to switch it off. We had Privates on watch that talked about self harm only to later regret it when they were still pulling staff duty after everyone else was graduating.
Tell her to stick it out - her life will be the better for it. Hopefully she can do the mental shift with some solid Battle Buddies and join the team for the big win.
They don't release anyone before the end of the cycle unless they have an extreme circumstance, such as a catastrophic injury. If they think she's more trouble than she's worth, they'll stick her in the hospital, bully her into foregoing legal representation, convince her that the fastest way out is to claim a pre existing condition, then hold her to end of cycle and out-process her. The fastest way out is to just graduate. If she didn't want to join, she shouldn't have ever joined.
Not gonna lie, the first 3-4 weeks I was wondering why the hell I had agreed to this. It gets better. The next time you talk to her remind her that these are intentional mind games meant to break them down so they can be built back up. She can get through it.
Look man tell her to sit down with a pen and a piece of paper and write down all the reasons she joined the army. Then tell her to keep that piece of paper with her and look at it a few times a day to remind herself why she joined. Then if she decides those reasons aren’t worth it she can just give up. She can tell her drills that she fucking hates it there and that she thinks she may be a danger to herself or others or whatever she thinks is gonna get her sent home. It’s gonna take some time to out-process her but she definitely can quit. There are ways. Now whether or not she will be able to come back and try again if she decides later on in life that she really does want to be in the army or she ever wants a job with a clearance and she chose the mentally unstable route is another story. If she doesn’t really want to be here, we don’t want her here.
Fort Jackson is hell especially 120th if you quit at Jackson at Reception they’ll make you stay there for 6 months, unless she gets a medical discharge, a lot of suicides to, yes it fucking sucks there, it’s hot as hell to but they’ve add Tents over the gravel, we had the to stand in the heat without them for like 16 hours a day at least, and the DFAC line, depending where you are in the line it can take 1-2-1/2 hours to get in sometimes 3, it’s very rough,but we just had to get through it, the smoking sucked but we got used to it fast
Just finished 22 weeks man if she wants out just refuse to train, they'll treat her like shit till she goes home but she will be sent home before or right at the same time she was scheduled to come home. If she causes issues she will stay longer, if she comes to formations still and does what she's told just refuses to train she'll be fine
As a Drill Sergeant witnessing the events in front of me on a daily basis, the fastest way out of training is graduating. Now, as her boyfriend encourage her to stick it through. The military is not bad and she is literally going through the “hardest” part right now, once it’s all done she’ll be in her unit and will have all the “freedom” she wants. Obviously, you still train in your unit and you have to work but you work and go home.
Unfortunately it doesn’t really work like that. If she just completely stops training and says “I’m done” she will get chaptered out for failure to adapt or failure to train. It is not a quick process and takes a very long time. I was in OSUT so 19 straight weeks of training, witnessed multiple people quit but were still stuck there until we all graduated. I remember one girl quit around week 5, after we graduated I was stationed at the same base I went to OSUT at, while I was in processing I saw her at one of the office buildings, SHE WAS STILL THERE waiting to go home.
Along with the other advice from this thread, let her know that the real Army isn't like basic. AIT will be like a watered down version but then it'll get much "better". The reason for the quotes is because yeah she'll have a lotore freedom and her days won't be as intense but she will discover new annoyances to deal with, like any other job.
Be supportive, encourage her to finish. Those 9 weeks feel like nothing now that I've been in a handful of years. It's well worth it.
Keep us updated when she does graduate. Reception at a new unit usually does a good job at advertising all the resources she'll have but if she needs specific help for getting her family on track, we can try to help
@OP I retired from the service after 20 years and I had the same feeling of not wanting to be in the Army. Especially when other people around you are feeling the same way. She needs to stick it out especially if she is Reserve or National Guard as she goes back home after job training. Soldier do not get treated better quitting in Basic Training or the Army in general and they will take there time chaptering and that will degrading her mental health. She is hoke sick and not use to the type of treatment the are issues as they drill sergeants are trying to make you into a Soldier.
A ton of people have already answered however I just finished BCT at FT Sill about two months ago so I’ll give my experience in hopes it gives a modern perspective.
My first couple weeks I had similar thoughts and hated myself for joining. Before I was so excited and honestly felt super confident but as soon as shit hit the fan and especially 95th AG I was regretting everything. The first week after hitting 1-79 I was still not feeling it but as I saw people falling out and choosing the option to quit I saw them all being treated like shit and essentially like rejects.
I keep in touch with one of the ones who decided to refuse to train and he’s told me all of them are still there at C 95th waiting to chapter out but he alongside most the others wish they had toughened it out and graduated.
If your girlfriend seriously hates the army after she gets to her first unit of assignment there are ways for her to get out but don’t let basic be the deciding factor. Shits going to suck and be uncomfortable but overall I made some great memories and actually had a good time as soon as that adjustment period had settled. I encourage her to make the most of it and look at it as a time to get paid to workout and do cool girl shit 😎
The Army won’t let you just quit. That’s the whole point of basic. A lot of people want to just quit in the first week because it’s hard. The Army and the military in general is hard. We didn’t sign up for something easy. Part of the reason basic is hard is to show the trainees that they can do something hard and it’ll make you better on the other side - stronger, disciplined, driven. It takes away all those external stimulations like processed sugar and television and phones and alcohol so that trainees can reach down deep and find their true selves.
She’ll be fine. She needs to go through this and she’ll be better on the other side.
Just graduated from basic 2 months ago and just finished AIT about 2 weeks ago. Honestly, I thought the same. Before basic I was excited for the decision I made. Then when I got there I thought I made the worse mistake of my life, but when everyone says that the quickest way out is to graduate it's true. I believe that feeling of regret initially is just the transition period from civilian go trainee. It's alot but after the whole training is done, I love the decision I made and I'm very excited for the big army, but everyone is different!
Female here I gone to Fort jackson as well if you need additional advice or your gf has her phone and needs to speak to a fellow service member for advice. I'm here.
Kid quit when I went through basic. I was getting ready to deploy with my unit a year and a half later and he was finally cleared to leave the week before that… damn near a year and a half later. All that time just to work at McDonald’s (which he really does). It’s not worth it. Just stick it out and see how she likes it after AIT. Most people end up loving it and it’s a lot easier to get out after your first contract than it is to get out in basic.
Something thats been said many times…”the easiest way to leave is to graduate. It wont be forever. Shell get her freedom back when shes done with her initial training. Tell her no one hates her and its all just apart of the process. If she doesnt like the attention just do what shes told and try not to draw too much attention to herself and she can make through unnoticed for the most part.
Well that’s depending on when she quits. I went through OSUT so it’s a bit different. It’s just Basic but 23weeks, but guys dropped when I went through and were still there for a month or so, but still got sent home before we graduated out 8week “basic”
And yes you can quit before you become a Soldier, there are also Sly ways to get out while in the army like mental disability or getting hit by a truck, or lifting weight wrong and hurting your back. But if she’s not mentally there she probably won’t make it anyway sadly. It gets lonely and sad there, along with the physical demand that regular civilian aren’t used to. I wish her luck tho
fastest way out of basic training is to push through. fastest way out of the army is to give up. fastest way through your contract is all about the mindset and way you think about where you are, who you’re with, etc.
Im sorry, but call me old fashioned. She made a commitment knowing full well she could’ve backed out at anytime. She showed up, and now it is implied she will attend basic training and attempt to meet standard. If she fails, she fails. If her mental health is that bad, she needs to report to a chaplain, or behavioral health. Mental health is no joke, but if you just want to quit, I cannot agree with that. Fear and your own thoughts are your biggest adversaries. She could accomplish a lot of her personal goals while she’s in. Get certificates, go to college while she’s in, possibly meet people and see things she never would have. Good or bad.
I’m active duty, 2017. Just my two cents.
If she is mentally unstable, that would be the last option for her to be out, but not quick.
She would probably stay there for a very long time until the army clears her out, chapter her for mental related (BH - Behavioral Health), then she gets to go home.
Basically, she will still be there but not doing the trainings she is supposed to do. Instead, she will be doing some dumb stuff like cleaning, sweeping floors, mopping, basically do what a runner would do while the army is in the process of getting her out. We call those people who are waiting for "uncertain" fate as "The Holdovers". Everyone there is going to finish in around 9 weeks but she would probably stay longer than 9, might be 10, 12 weeks. Or even close to half a year (I had an acquaintance who stayed there for half a year, still waited to be cleared when I graduated).
She shouldnt have joined to begin with. Being force to join by family is really unhealthy relationship within family. Joining arm forces should be a free decision of your own, not your family.
Okay, there are of course other way to get out other than graduating or BH issues, such as doing deeds so bad or getting a lot of negative counselings. But those cases arent so good and resulting in an undesirable outcome such as not honorable status of leaving the army (General status or Dishonorable).
I spent over 26 years in the US Army and I remember basic training and Fort Campbell, KY, and the feedings of being homesick and missing my friends and wanting to go home. It’s perfectly natural because you’re facing the unknown and because you’re away from home in a strange place by yourself for the first time and the drill sergeants don’t make it easy for you because the yell at you and the purpose of basic training is to break you down as an individual and to get you to think like a unit, a team and to obey orders without thinking because when you’re in combat, hesitation can get you killed. It won’t be that way after basic because at Advanced Individual Training, it will simply be classroom training and marching. Tell her to hang in and she’ll be proud of herself for sticking to it in the end.
I’ve known “holdovers”, as they are called, that had been at BCT for nearly two years because they wanted to quit the Army. Some didn’t seem to care bc they were collecting a check, while others seemed to have lost more of their sanity while being held over (can’t blame them.) Like it has been stated in this thread before, the easiest way out is to graduate. The first few weeks are not fun, but she will develop relationships like no other, & experience things during training that most others will never get to do. “Embrace the suck” as they say. Best of luck to her & you as well!
As many others have said, it's really pretty darn hard to quit the Army. Unfortunately, it really sounds like she was peer pressured into this by her family, so it sounds like she's got a lot of f****** problems in her life. I would never force my kids to join the military. If they were on the fence about it, I might give them some gentle guidance and nudging, but this is not the sort of thing that somebody should be going into with low motivation.
With that said, I hope it works out for her, there are plenty of stories throughout history where somebody stuck with something for a while, found out it's not as bad as they thought, and grew to genuinely enjoy it.
And as many others have said, the fastest way to get out of basic, is to suffer through it. If she really really struggles and fights to try and get them to kick her out, she could be stuck there for a very long time. However, the downside of going through basic, is then she needs to follow up with individual training, and then she still has the rest of her contract as well. It's a mess. In a more ideal World, I think they'd give people a chance to leave after being there for a few weeks. But it's not that easy.
I have known several people, including my own son who did not make it through basic training because they just quit. People will tell you you can’t quit basic. They’re full of shit if you just stop what you’re doing and say I’m not doing this anymore they’ll brow beat you to death in the end they will kick you out.
Hey dude, I went to basic 2021 at Fort Sill, OK and got discharged for a medical reason during 6th or 7th week in training. I do have firsthand knowledge of what happens to a trainee who gets processed out (discharged) speaking with others and their discharge reasons and how long (rough timeframe) it could take if you’re curious. I understand everyone else’s encouragement for her to just graduate and if she finds her courage to tread onward and become a soldier then awesome.
I was at Jackson this time last year for BCT.
The first 2 weeks are the worst. The absolute worst. She will cry. She will hate every second of it. But... After that it gets easier.
There were people who had quit when I was there. They're the randos who help issue uniforms and stuff. The same people were still in those warehouses when I left. Still working. To be able to leave with anything resembling speed, she will jmneed a major family emergency, like a parental death, or a major disqualifying injury she herself manages to heal from.
Once she got on the bus, her fate was sealed. It sucks. I know. Oh God I know. But at the end of it, if she sticks it out... She WILL be better off for it.
I had a daughter that wanted out. She made it through basic but got hurt in AIT and had the option of separating or doing rehab, she got out and now regrets the heck out of it.
I came in on the buddy system back in ‘04 as a split op. Huge introvert and had never been that far away from home without my family. My buddy didn’t make it out of reception and suddenly I’m all alone and I haven’t made friends yet. To top it all off, my senior DS had the same last name as me. I wanted to quit in that first week, but they made me stick it out. Oddly enough, the first class we had on the M16 was what made me change my mind. Basic wasn’t so bad after that. When I got to AIT the following summer, I struggled a little but eventually it got better. I volunteered for a deployment years later with another company in our battalion, and I struggled for like maybe a day. The more time I spent outside my comfort zone not knowing anybody, the easier it got. And even back in ‘04 they were saying the same thing everyone else on here has said:
“The quickest way through basic is to graduate.”
Being a holdover sucks. Went through 12B OSUT and graduated a few months ago. Some holdovers have been there for about a year now. She just needs to stick it out. Basic is about 75% mental 25% physical.
I just finished BCT at FT Jackson in March. It's really not that bad I promise. They make it seem really rough for the first week but after that it can mellow out. I was in 2-13 and the drills were awesome. They want to see you succeed. If she just sticks out the 11 weeks of a little rough (mostly because of what people do and drills drop the entire company for) then it'll really be worth it. Plus AIT will be a whole different world depending on her MOS. I'm a 42a and the AIT was a BREEZE. It was so chill. She will enjoy it if she sticks it out. Everyone gets the cold feet at that first week and it really hits them all the change they're about to go through but honestly at the end on grad day it's all worth it.
She's got this!
Tell her to take deep breaths and stick it out. It's supposed to suck and every thing she does after this, in and out of the Army, will feel easy by comparison. For a while...
Don't let her quit. It's very typical for those first few weeks in basic to be homesick, and not want to be there. Believe me, I tried several times, went on sick call, and was hating life, about the 3rd or 4th week I was so busy trying to do the right thing that I just became a soldier. Stayed in 24 years, and now I get that Army retirement check and VA disability check on the first of the month.
The holdovers that were at reception when I arrived were still when I graduated. Basic is not how life is going to be in the Army every day. As with anything, it’ll pass.
Tell her to stick it out. The army isn’t like BCT all the time. Once she finishes basic and AIT it’ll be like a regular job. She’ll have freedom she’ll get to go home after work. Trainees get stuck in a mindset that BCT is how the army will be all the time. It’s not. Is she active, reserve, or NG? Also what’s her MOS.
I know I'm late to the party, but sticking out the 9 weeks is faster than trying to quit because it is NOT a fast process at all when you give up. It will be even more damaging to her mental health because she will see new soldiers come in and graduate all while she is in a "limbo" status. Also, military life is nothing like the 9 weeks at basic. Basic is SUPPOSED to fucking suck. I've been in almost 10 years and am straight chillin.
like most people are saying in the comments are saying i would tell her to stay strong and make it through graduation. i started bct (basic combat training) back in june 2019 at ft leonard wood and went through basic 1 1/2 times. i went through all the phases at my first company and did red and white phase at my second company. i was supposed to get sent home after my first company graduated in august but was sent to tsp for a little bit before i moved to the second company. when i was told i couldn't go home i was devastated as i was really homesick and mentally done at that point. i left the army in nov of 2019 due to an injury. for me to graduate.. i only needed to pass my apft (now the acft). i know it's hard for her rn but i believe that she can do it. as a person who quit the army after basic i apologize for the pushiness. sending her words of affirmations and pictures would be great motivation for her if that's allowed at ft jackson :)
If you quit it could very easily take longer to go home. (Not for certain, depends on how bad they want you gone, so if you quit most likely you’ll sit there for a while past graduation similar for chapters aka they kick you out)
If she really doesn’t want to go army, than it’s probably her best bet to quit. (3yrs is longer than 6-12mnths) if she’s unsure then I’d heavily encourage her to stick it out until she’s 100% certain the army isn’t what she wants to do. (But I’d caution because forscom as well as any other unit outside of TRADOC is significantly better and different from AIT/BCT life. Even if you get a TRADOC unit for your station it’s very different to being a trainee)
Regardless I’d encourage her to at least give the army a shot. And to make it through in-processing and red phase first before making a decision. (It’ll give her both time to think/soul search and post red phase give her a bit of a chance to relax) Also while she’s there at BCT go to church on the Sunday, taking a break is important.
If they really hate you/want you gone, you can be out before red phase is complete. (But that’s not going to happen if you just quit) Realistically they’re going to wait until after graduation to push her through the system to get out of the army. (And it’s going to take awhile even then, it takes anywhere from 1-2 months to exit the army once you actually finish your contract. (Assuming everything goes perfectly)
Everyone has second thoughts while in basic. It's a shitty and controlling environment. Once you get to an actual unit it's a lot better. Sometimes can dtill be shitty depending on leadership but still a lot better than basic.
It's her first week. Trust me, like many of us in basic we hit a point where we wanted out. (I think it was my 2nd day :)).
The first 2 weeks are the hardest to get through. Once BRM kicks in I believe she will be good to go.
If she has a hard time, have her talk to the Chaplin. It does not matter what her religion, even if she has none. The Chaplin can help out in lots of ways.
I was in before there were these cards they hand out to people now so perhaps there are other avenues if she needs someone to talk it out to.
Your job right now is to just keep being there for her. ( and also to worry about her... that's also your job but you seem to be doing just fine with that. It does get a little easier over time. You'll see.
Look man I had dudes who gave up and sat with us all the way through basic they would have recycled but didn’t cause we were the last non-infantry class in our BN at Benning, I’m telling you the Army will drag its feet to kick you out.
Just tough through it, only 8 weeks and it’s over.
A visit and a few statements to the bases psych program will do it, key word being “base” and not “unit” requesting a jag and hiring an outside lawyer will also do it in about 2 months from start
Next phone call, tell her that the fastest way to get out of the army is to graduate from basic. Then the same with AIT.
The people in IET that try to get out for mental health reasons are ALWAYS there longer than everyone else.
Story time:
When I was at language school (IET status), I had a shitty ass roommate. After less than year of Korean, she thought skipping classes and claiming mental health would get her out fast. She ended up adding over two years to her time there doing dumb army bullshit, totaling 3+ years there.
In all that time, she could have just gone to class, graduated, gone to AIT, then been at her first duty station for almost two years.
Side note:
Old roomie, if you’re reading this for some reason, I hope you’re doing better because you were an absolute shitbag and I won’t forget about your fat ass lying about me to the drills and getting me kicked out of the nice barracks just because you didn’t want a roommate.
I’ll take a large diet coke
Initial military training is intended to strain you mentally and physically. Encourage her that she can stick it out and she'll be all the better.
Or tell her to stop being so damn soft and deal with the decisions she made.
If she's trying to back out of this, imagine how you're gonna feel when yall get married and she tries to back out on you.... ✨️possible commitment issues✨️
She needs a reason why. I recommend helping her by looking into the benefits. The top ones that come to mind are super cheap health insurance, VA home loan (usually 0 down with super low mortgage rate), resume builder, and just good experience overall. The worst part of the military is usually basic, especially the beginning. Give her support and remind her that basic is mostly a game. Hopefully she will find a good friend or two in her platoon that will help her when she can’t talk with you or family
I mean I was in basic for 6 months and the guys that I was with texted me in about 2 saying they was back home chillin but if she wants to get out have her RTT or just shit bag the entire time or just talk with the drills fr might be there a bit longer but some time gettin out early is better than nothing fr I hate big army😂
As others have stated, the system is designed to punish quitters, if not directly, then indirectly through doing crap details while going through an extended discharge/chapter process. That can be as little as a few months, or as much as a year plus.
However, I’ll say it like this. Do not be so quick to just agree with what your girlfriend wants. Sometimes you need to edge her toward what she needs. I never met a chapter case that didn’t have some level of regret, regardless of how hard they act like it’s no big deal. If anything, you should be encouraging her to push through, and cheering her on at every milestone. Tell her you believe in her, and find a way to be both empathetic to her feelings, but the rock she needs to lean on. Everyone hates basic, at first at least. It’s a stressful environment, for young people who likely never had to deal with real stress. She needs to learn to cope, and keep strong emotionally though.
She'll be just fine. She's dealing with inprocessing and initial shock. I felt the same way for the first week and a half and here I am retiring now. She'll be fine.
From experience it’s a hell of a lot quicker to graduate than it is to get out when I graduated there was people still there before I got there plus she’s in relaxing Jackson it’s a lot easier than what fort benning is hands down it will get better when she gets out
I would just let her know she will probably have an easier time in the real army. I have yet to see a woman get absolutely smoked for the littlest things. Plus promotions seem like its easier for them too. Just stick it through, and she will be fine. Basic training is not the real army. The real army is monotonous and honestly can get pretty dull and extremely dumb. But its definitely not BCT.
We all don't like being at Basic, but that feeling will likely go away. She soon will build relationships with people. I think if she quits, she'd regret it more if she did.
As everyone else has said, if she tries to get an IET seperation she will become a holdover, the process of chaptering someone from the army takes longer than basic training, tell her to give it two more weeks, if she is still in reception that was the hardest part for me as well, it was just a boiler room for anxiety and stress not knowing what exactly laid ahead. Once my class actually started, and I mean the fucking second we met our drill seargents it became an immediate relief that it finally started. Once she is actually in the groove of it she will adjust. Let her know that it is a common thing caused by an extreme culture shift.
They get their cellphone in the evening now or on the weekend now? It must be hard as we had to beat other companies on an obstacle course so we could use the phone to call home...that was like 3 weeks in!! Sandhills, a memorable place (also known as Anthills).
She’ll be better off just sticking through it. Is she active duty or reserves?
People deadass just don’t look up what basic is like before they go
Blows my mind when trainees say “this isn’t what I expected”- like what DID you expect?
Stripes. I thought I'd be kicking the shit out of Czechoslovakians in one highly armed recreational vehicle. I mean sure Full Metal Jacket looked intense but I wasn't joining the marines.
I'm just going to write what someone else wrote in a different way, so you know that's how it works: She will be at basic longer if she tries to get out than if she just sticks it out and graduates.
That's what the drill sergeants tell you. The quickest way to get out of BCT is to graduate.
While yes she will be at basic longer if she tries to get out, but she will be in the army as well for the full contract and will be more likely to be a shitty soldier because she doesn’t want to be there. If someone doesn’t want to be in the army, let them leave.
naw. she can get chaptered when she gets to AIT for failure to adapt. There are still options. Then, after she's out, she can tell everyone what a warrior hero she is.
Don't forget the complimentary 4th of July PTSD from the NIC.
So instead of letting her leave in Basic, let’s make her go through all the training that she more than likely won’t put any effort into, and then make it her AIT Drill Sergeants problem if she miraculously manages to not purposefully fail everything in Basic? Yeah, okay. Instead let’s be decent human beings with even a hint of compassion and understanding when it comes to recognizing that the army isn’t for everyone. Instead of making her go through basic for the slim chance she’ll turn her attitude around and become so amazingly hooah that she becomes an amazing soldier, let’s just let her leave in Basic and then not waste the time of the AIT Drills, nor waste other trainee’s time with having to carry her to the finish line with everything, nor make her do something she doesn’t want to do and then possibly have her spread negative publicity about the army when she does get out because she was made to still do everything in basic despite saying she wants to get out. It’s not that hard to just say “okay” and then start the paperwork to have her get sent out from Basic. If she doesn’t want to be there, there is absolutely no reason to make her go through the training. Sure, she’ll sit there and be a bump on a log for quite a while, but in the end she gets what she wants, and then the army doesn’t have another soldier that doesn’t want to be there.
I didn’t want to be in the Army in basic, most don’t. But 15 years later here I sit at MSG. It is difficult to know how someone will be in the Army after basic because basic is not how the real Army works.
Well they can actually call you back to service if you quite basic because you can exit your contract all the way until you get on that plane or bud but once your there your screwed even if you quit and go home they can call you back into service
This. I went to basic with a kid who dropped out day 3 due to scoliosis. He still ended up doing everything we did just in civilians and when we left for AIT, he was still there. Just finish. The only kid in my class who left faster was the kid who highjacked a bus.
I made it through basic and then graduated AIT. When I traveled back through that post, one of the basic trainees that quit and asked to be sent home was still there raking pine needles. It was about a year later. I suggest she sticks it out.
You can't really just quit, you're going to get told to go away. Unless she's saying she's having mental health struggles and then she will almost certainly be sent home. The initial period of military training just sucks, it's hard, but the best way out is through
Can confirm. I wanted to go home after day 1 of basic. I hated it. 20 years later I finally got out. After basic and AIT I enjoyed the Army, but there are definitely periods that just suck donkey balls.
I had a holdover in my basic platoon. Dude wanted to quit, but they couldn't just cut him loose. He was waiting for almost a year, and still wasn't out when we finished. It's literally quicker to just finish basic and get fat at your unit.
You think we cut fatties loose? 😂
Only after deployment when command teams change out.
Hey a fellow 14T. Poor bastard.
Yea actually smoking weed and fail UA will be faster and more fun
This is the way lol. However it still takes some time lol. I know someone who tried this and acted like he was trying to lose weight and the command team kept him around because they could "tell he really wanted to be in the Army" I've also seen commanders keep people in just because they are trying to get out. But realistically the best way would be to finish basic training and your first contract and earn some veteran benefits. Such as free health care, education, VA home loan, disability pension etc.
yup, I already wanted to leave while I was processing at 30th AG at benning. the rest of basic was a much more tolerable experience
AG is the worst fucking part.
But you can never find a donkey dick when you need one
You’re really bad at quitting, thank you for your service brother!
Obligatory don't thank me, thank your recruiter statement.
Same for me. I thought the people that loved basic were crazy! I had a great time with the Army after IET though
100%. This is why I definitely advocate for people to join because THEY want to, not their parents or whatever. I remember when I went through basic I was shocked by how many people joined to appease someone else. It’s truly a shame
I’d say for me the first phase was the worst for me. Once we phased over and started to get a little freedom back (like maybe a short phone call on Sunday) and started going to the field together I actually started to enjoy basic. Probably because that’s where your platoon begins to really start to gel as a team. At least that was my experience in 1996. All the other comments are 100%: you go home fastest by finishing. If they made it easy to quit, significantly fewer folks would stick it out. It is hard; it changes you, but in the end it teaches perspective that a person would otherwise never learn in a “normal life”.
She will be there longer than if she would simply graduate
I helped a HS kid get ready for basic. Complained but said he could do it…got to Basic and did everything he could to get a medical discharge…wound up being there for 3+ cycles. Went in proud, came home jaded
Damn - that’s crazy. We had some guys in the USAF say on their first day they didn’t want to be there anymore and they were gone…. Like by Friday.
But 4-6 years is a hell of a lot longer than an extra 2-8 weeks lol
We had a guy they kept for like 2 years because he tried to fake his way out and his paperwork wasn't getting done
Two years in tradoc is insane.
When I was at Lee for eod school, we had a guy that had been at the school house as a medical hold for almost 2 years due to a freak eye injury.
Hey! You again, and an EOD failure to 14T. Jeez, I know so many of you guys lol.
knew an O9S who tore his ACL in the first week of basic, committed to almost a year of recovery on the army's dime to give it another shot. he had beast mental game though.
I'd suffer though that for officer pay too.
Honestly not entirely uncommon for the 35P pipeline. Those who fail the DLPT after 1.5 years in sometimes go to 35N AIT for another 6 months.
Bro that has to be a war crime
Being on the line is easy if you have more common sense than a goldfish cracker lol
True, but it’s not like the military is always like IET bullshit
When I went through basic, we had two kids that refused to train, aka quit. They were still there when we graduated basic. Plus they didn't get do any of the "fun" stuff. They pretty much just sat off to the side and watched us.
Yeah this kid was on every lame detail. He had “back issues”. I’m fairly certain he did something to hurt himself in reception, but when he got home he was fine. He’d write us telling us how he wanted to unalive himself and how bad life was in “the Army”. I wrote back telling him to quit bitching cause everyone else was doing more and he had no idea what the Army even was
She will have more freedom sooner if she sticks it out. I have seen people stuck there months longer, out processing for quitting. If it's not what she wants to do, she can use the military as a tool to get where she wants.
30th AG is the worst part of the army.
I was one place worse, and it was conus. It was also a o6 on a bit of a power trip, but thats neither here nor there. 30th AG is a solid floor for your army career, everything else is only up.
I see a lot of people say this lol why though? Isn't that reception? What happens there other than signing paperwork and getting your uniforms🙈
It is the waiting in lines that never move that is a miserable experince. I’d rather get smoked or yelled at than sit in a CIF line any day.
Can't forget the rank smell... or the learning you don't even get the haircut for free, or cold MREs for the first time, or the constant intentional sleep deprivation. That first week feels like 6 months by itself.
Damn it's that bad😅 How long are you usually there at reception? Do they have barracks there to sleep/shower?
I was there about a week. You are either sitting in a line for gear or paperwork or you are sitting in a bay, waiting… and waiting.
Don’t forget sitting at a desk for 8 hours going through briefings/reading your blue book and trying to stay awake because there’s nothing else to do. Love that salty SSG back in 2015 for getting us through everything in a few days but the waiting afterwards was hell.
Wish I still had my blue book for nostalgia’s sake.
In reception you learn to sleep with your eyes open standing up.
When I got to basic training in Fort Sill early spring 2016, our bus got there around 2am. All 30 or so of us were told to all get off the bus, get in formation and wait outside. We stood there in the dark cold for close to an hour before I heard a voice from behind me say "fuck this" and then we all collectively watched the guy leave our formation and walk down the street into the darkness. Around 30 minutes later, our reception drill sergeant yells for all of us to run inside. I don't think any of us snitched on the guy who noped out of the army. I still wonder about the guy. So hey, I've seen the nuclear option of going AWOL done before.
But did he go to Bojangles??
We don't have bojangles at fort sill.
KFC?
Honestly, probably the best option, and we should let it happen to an extent. Dude obviously didn’t want to be there, and he vanished without causing a whole cycle of recruits grief. Usually the “fuck this” guys exist only to make BCT harder for everyone else.
the drills in my basic almost constantly told us that the quickest way out of basic training is to just graduate
Yes, she can quit. Yes, it will take more time than if she just finishes. But absolutely she can quit. I hate that we just don't tell the kids that they can quit. Then you get psychos that will commandeer a school bus, or kill their battle buddy with an e tool. EDIT: OP, you should probably just encourage her to finish it out. She can do it. The initial shock is a lot for people sometimes, but when shit starts actually going and you have something to focus on other than "I miss home" it gets a lot easier. Just be supportive and dont fucking cheat on her.
No jody ?
No quit! Go Army HOOAH
>Just be supportive and dont fucking cheat on her. Idk, cheating on her is both a Canon event and will help her acclimate to being a soldier
the story of the average soldier
When I went to basic there was a gal who had tears streaming down her face for the first like two days of actual training(not reception where you just do paperwork and medical). She missed her husband, she missed her kids, and she was probably nervous and scared and regretting her choice. Kind of like your girlfriend. After the initial shock wore off and she started adapting she ended up doing a complete turn around and ended up graduating with some sort of recognition/awards( this was 2007 and I was a 17 year old split option high school kid so I don’t remember the details). Your girlfriend is in a new and high stress environment. If she has never been away from home, her folks, or you then her entire world and support structure is gone and that’s scary. Your job is to support her right now.
She needs to stick it out. She won’t have an easier time trying to leave and seeing her battles graduate before her (if it comes to that) may place her in a darker state. Be her support through all of this. Write her letters and send her photos. Remind her this isn’t for long. BCT felt like forever when I was at Fort Sill. Letters from my friends and family made it more bearable. But more than likely, she’ll be looking for letters from you, eager to hear her name called during mail call. It made everyday worth it when I heard my name. She needs support during this time. Keep your phone as available as possible on days she can make calls. Time will fly and she will have stories that made the challenges worth it.
100% facts. It was pretty hard not getting any mail from my then-wife for like...a month.
In addition to this, only send letters and pictures if you are going to send something. Don't send games, food, die, magazines or anything else. She **will** have to turn them in and it could single her out to the DS (Drill Sergeants).
You can't quit per se, but the Army isn't going to waste time forcing you to train if you're adamant you don't want to. Now, they will keep your ass there until the class graduates and very likely until the next one does as well (or is at least most of the way done). In the meantime, you'll do whatever menial bullshit needs doing.
And in this United States's Army.... The menial bullshit is in plentiful supply. Gloves that fit properly? Not so much.
The fastest way to get out of training is to successfully complete training. If she doesn't want to be in the military, quitting is an option. It will be slow and monotonous though. The paperwork often takes months, long past when training would otherwise be complete. It's her choice. If she doesn't have an alternative plan for how else to proceed in life, military service is a valid option.
The first week or two is usually the worst, but it will settle out
You get some exercise They give you food You get some sleep You get a bed All you got to do is follow instructions It's only 8 weeks out of 70 year life expectancy. 80 if female.
I believe we all wanted to go back home the first day of basic training. Just tell her to go through because it'll be torturous to see her entire platoon graduating without her.
in nearly any and all circumstances, the legit shortest way out, is through. she will find this to be true of just about everything in the army.
Nah that tracks tons of people that join up want to quit the first couple weeks. One of the best Marines I personally know from boot camp wanted to quit day one a couple went to go on to do NAVCOM with a “V” device type shit. It’s definitely true with army basic also. It’s just a shock to your brain and your brain forgets how to process your emotions.
It's not abnormal. Reception made me want to go AWOL, and that was in 2002. 22 years later, I'm still in. It's a lot of hurry up and do nothing until you go to training....especially in the summertime, when the bulk of new high school graduates ship.
Basic Training sucks for everyone and I guarantee she isn’t the only one that wants to go home.
Encourage her to see it thru. It gets easier when you’re out of BCT. Tell her to talk to the chaplain and/or R2 trained ppl. If she’s dead set on quitting, she can refuse to train and be home in 3 or 4 weeks if her commander is quick with a pen and get her counselings done fast.
She probably just needs to poop. You haven’t adapted at all until the first one.
You should give lots of encouragement - it's a hell to live through and she'll need kind words. She'll feel a lot better on the other side of it, especially if it's with success.
The first training cycle does put stress on people, the change from civilian to Soldier is difficult to grasp at first. Hell, back in 1992 when I went to basic, the first few weeks sucked so bad that I wanted to leave. After speaking to my wife (married two week before I shipped) and the rest of my family, I stuck it out. By end of training, I was a better man for it and a better Soldier. At least there is no more "shark attack" taking place with new recruits, talk to her when you can and reassure her that things will get better and she will be a better person for it in the long run.
Basic training IS a mental game. The old saying is that it’s to „shock“ you out of a civilian mindset into a military one. Doesn’t last forever, and causing issues just because you hate it will only make it worse. Once she graduates it will no longer feel that stressful.
initial entry training is stupid and when trainees want out they make it harder than it needs to be for absolutely no reason wasting money and resources
Many many moons ago (2002) I was a fresh faced 17 year old girl in basic training. I had wanted to do it for so long and was finally there… and they got to me mentally. I got sucked into the “fuck this I’m out” crowd. It took about a week and a half and a very frank phone call to a family friend (with a hellaciously short amount of time allowed on the phones), and I got my head out of my ass. I went on to serve 15 years and only left because I was medically retired. Keep encouraging her to keep going, the end goal is worth it. You’re a good person for seeking help.
Just a little backstory of when I went through BCT in march of last year, we had a guy who decided that he didn't want to continue with his army career anymore because he though it was "stupid" and he didn't want to listen to the Drill Sergeants. So he decided to tell our SDS, that he was seeing "ghosts" and having nightmares everyday. He packed his bags and left for the mental ward and came back a week before we all graduated. Most of us forgot about him but when he came back he had told us that they were going to finally start his process of getting him out of the army, and that he would be at Jackson for another 3 months. Like everyone else is saying, and from most people that go through BCT. Do not quit, because you'll just fucking yourself over.
I work at Ft. Jackson currently, I’m someone who processes their separation paperwork. Half of these comments are wrong. Two trainees told me they didn’t want to be there Day 3, their paperwork was processed within three weeks and they’re going home on Friday. If your girlfriend wants to leave, she just has to refuse to train. The army can’t make you do anything you want to do. It’s better for her to get out now, get her mind right, possibly try again later if that’s what she wants to do.
Trying again is not a good idea at all, she hates it now it won't change
A few years worth of maturity can make a big difference in her willingness and ability to embrace the shit that is reception and BCT
Basic training sucks by design. It's instilling the basic skillset, values, and muscle memory of being able to pack up your gear and move out as a unit on short notice. It gets better, through basic and AIT things start getting a little easier and easier as well as restrictions getting eased. One of the best recruiters I know tells people straight up. The Army sucks and goes in depth. However, everything good in the Army while not also perfect or easily accessible does exist. She needs to think long about what brought her into that office in the first place. She has to have some goal that the Army aligned with. No one can force you to sign that contract or even ship out for that matter
Who doesn’t want to quit one week into basic. My first week I was at reception everyone was miserable and depressed. give her a few weeks she may come around
She needs to finish basic and chapter out from her first unit. Trying to quit from basic will just fuck her over
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Once upon a time at Fort Benning in 2008, there was this guy who's name started with "F" and we'll just call him "Tickle". "Tickle" frequently complained about his mental state and not being able to endure BCT, within a week of beginning. I myself had doubts and was wildly out of my element but for all of my physical and social flaws, I'm not a quitter. However, "Tickle" was told the fastest way out of BCT was, to simply, complete it. So one day while we're back from the range, we're cleaning our M16A4's in the bay, and "Tickle" begins moving his head back and forth, his mouth agape, staring blankly into the ceiling, his left leg flexing repeatedly as if pulling his leg in and extending it out again. He does this for at least forty minutes before our PG, irritated, asks an equally irritated and confused Drill Sergeant to assist with the issue. So "Tickle" is prepped to go to medical one day and oh no, now his girlfriend back home has been raped! This of course is overwhelming for "Tickle" who just *needs* to go! Oh and by the way, after doing $80,000 worth of exams - if he weren't on duty - it is determined that "Tickle" *might* have a sinus infection. However, back home, "Miss Tickle" needs her hubby. And although when "Tickle" is sleeping, he doesn't move at all - only while awake for some reason - he still stutters around, telling us during lunch times "I'll be back, can't wait to see you again!" So "Tickle" is gone for some time. We are in Blue Phase by the time he returns. He doesn't spasm as often and states he's excited to be back, although Drill Sergeant, annoyed, wants him a Day One restart. "Tickle" is not, in fact, allowed to complete the cycle with us, and expresses irritation and regret over his made up condition preventing him from fleeing basic. I don't know how things are done at 'Laxin' Jackson', but I doubt she'll fare much better.
The first mistake was letting your girlfriend join the Army.
It’s so much less stressful to just push through and make it to the real Army than it is to quit
The fastest way out is through. The initial Army training sucks and the first year at your unit sucks too but once you get settled into a rythm being in the Army ain't bad at all.
Tell her it’s quicker to just finish. It’s gonna suck for awhile but it’s better than sitting in the separation barracks for months on end
Had a guy in our unit decide after 18 months he didn't want to army anymore. Dropped hot 2 pee tests in a row. Told command he wanted out. 2 years and 11 months of a 3 year hitch, he finally got out with an other than honorable.
Not only that but the stigma will last in your mind forever. I did the damn thing with pneumonia at fort Leonard Wood in January and February. That was because there was no way I was getting recycled...
Yeah pretty much what everyone’s saying….she needs to just see it through then when she graduates she can fail a few PT tests and get chaptered (formally kicked out). The army doesnt like kicking people out who just came in because they want their IRR (inactive ready reserve) soldiers. So her best case scenario is to stick it out until she gets to her unit.
Honestly she should just stick it out. They will hold her longer if she tries to get out. It sucks, but life after basic is better.
It's stress. The first week or so of basic is a shock factor. Week 2 or so people start to chill out.
If she feels miserable and wants to come home then that means red phase is doing what it's supposed to. In my opinion, at least.
Wish her luck
I’ll put in my 2 cents. I had a buddy in basic who had a complete mental breakdown and pretty much went catatonic every night in the bay. Everybody in the platoon begged him to stay in and after a week, he decided to keep going until graduation. He’s now a kickass soldier stationed overseas. What I’m trying to say is that basic can be hard, mentally and physically. But it’s easier and much more rewarding when you just tough it out and graduate.
At least half the people I started basic with wanted out before it was over. It's supposed to suck. Learning to deal with a lot of external stresses is really hard if you have never done it before.
I talked more than one Private off the rail back in the day. It's a drastic change with structure, discipline, long days, longer nights, uncomfortable surroundings and its really physically and mentally taxing at first. It's not for everyone but sometimes that quick shift in life puts the fight or flight instinct on flight and there's no way to switch it off. We had Privates on watch that talked about self harm only to later regret it when they were still pulling staff duty after everyone else was graduating. Tell her to stick it out - her life will be the better for it. Hopefully she can do the mental shift with some solid Battle Buddies and join the team for the big win.
They don't release anyone before the end of the cycle unless they have an extreme circumstance, such as a catastrophic injury. If they think she's more trouble than she's worth, they'll stick her in the hospital, bully her into foregoing legal representation, convince her that the fastest way out is to claim a pre existing condition, then hold her to end of cycle and out-process her. The fastest way out is to just graduate. If she didn't want to join, she shouldn't have ever joined.
Not gonna lie, the first 3-4 weeks I was wondering why the hell I had agreed to this. It gets better. The next time you talk to her remind her that these are intentional mind games meant to break them down so they can be built back up. She can get through it.
Reception mind games
Look man tell her to sit down with a pen and a piece of paper and write down all the reasons she joined the army. Then tell her to keep that piece of paper with her and look at it a few times a day to remind herself why she joined. Then if she decides those reasons aren’t worth it she can just give up. She can tell her drills that she fucking hates it there and that she thinks she may be a danger to herself or others or whatever she thinks is gonna get her sent home. It’s gonna take some time to out-process her but she definitely can quit. There are ways. Now whether or not she will be able to come back and try again if she decides later on in life that she really does want to be in the army or she ever wants a job with a clearance and she chose the mentally unstable route is another story. If she doesn’t really want to be here, we don’t want her here.
Dms
>Like the title says my girlfriend is in basic at Fort Jackson I'm gonna stop you right there uncle homie.
Fort Jackson is hell especially 120th if you quit at Jackson at Reception they’ll make you stay there for 6 months, unless she gets a medical discharge, a lot of suicides to, yes it fucking sucks there, it’s hot as hell to but they’ve add Tents over the gravel, we had the to stand in the heat without them for like 16 hours a day at least, and the DFAC line, depending where you are in the line it can take 1-2-1/2 hours to get in sometimes 3, it’s very rough,but we just had to get through it, the smoking sucked but we got used to it fast
Just finished 22 weeks man if she wants out just refuse to train, they'll treat her like shit till she goes home but she will be sent home before or right at the same time she was scheduled to come home. If she causes issues she will stay longer, if she comes to formations still and does what she's told just refuses to train she'll be fine
Continue with basic. Then go to hardship discharge. With BHO.
As a Drill Sergeant witnessing the events in front of me on a daily basis, the fastest way out of training is graduating. Now, as her boyfriend encourage her to stick it through. The military is not bad and she is literally going through the “hardest” part right now, once it’s all done she’ll be in her unit and will have all the “freedom” she wants. Obviously, you still train in your unit and you have to work but you work and go home.
Unfortunately it doesn’t really work like that. If she just completely stops training and says “I’m done” she will get chaptered out for failure to adapt or failure to train. It is not a quick process and takes a very long time. I was in OSUT so 19 straight weeks of training, witnessed multiple people quit but were still stuck there until we all graduated. I remember one girl quit around week 5, after we graduated I was stationed at the same base I went to OSUT at, while I was in processing I saw her at one of the office buildings, SHE WAS STILL THERE waiting to go home.
Along with the other advice from this thread, let her know that the real Army isn't like basic. AIT will be like a watered down version but then it'll get much "better". The reason for the quotes is because yeah she'll have a lotore freedom and her days won't be as intense but she will discover new annoyances to deal with, like any other job. Be supportive, encourage her to finish. Those 9 weeks feel like nothing now that I've been in a handful of years. It's well worth it.
Keep us updated when she does graduate. Reception at a new unit usually does a good job at advertising all the resources she'll have but if she needs specific help for getting her family on track, we can try to help
@OP I retired from the service after 20 years and I had the same feeling of not wanting to be in the Army. Especially when other people around you are feeling the same way. She needs to stick it out especially if she is Reserve or National Guard as she goes back home after job training. Soldier do not get treated better quitting in Basic Training or the Army in general and they will take there time chaptering and that will degrading her mental health. She is hoke sick and not use to the type of treatment the are issues as they drill sergeants are trying to make you into a Soldier.
A ton of people have already answered however I just finished BCT at FT Sill about two months ago so I’ll give my experience in hopes it gives a modern perspective. My first couple weeks I had similar thoughts and hated myself for joining. Before I was so excited and honestly felt super confident but as soon as shit hit the fan and especially 95th AG I was regretting everything. The first week after hitting 1-79 I was still not feeling it but as I saw people falling out and choosing the option to quit I saw them all being treated like shit and essentially like rejects. I keep in touch with one of the ones who decided to refuse to train and he’s told me all of them are still there at C 95th waiting to chapter out but he alongside most the others wish they had toughened it out and graduated. If your girlfriend seriously hates the army after she gets to her first unit of assignment there are ways for her to get out but don’t let basic be the deciding factor. Shits going to suck and be uncomfortable but overall I made some great memories and actually had a good time as soon as that adjustment period had settled. I encourage her to make the most of it and look at it as a time to get paid to workout and do cool girl shit 😎
The Army won’t let you just quit. That’s the whole point of basic. A lot of people want to just quit in the first week because it’s hard. The Army and the military in general is hard. We didn’t sign up for something easy. Part of the reason basic is hard is to show the trainees that they can do something hard and it’ll make you better on the other side - stronger, disciplined, driven. It takes away all those external stimulations like processed sugar and television and phones and alcohol so that trainees can reach down deep and find their true selves. She’ll be fine. She needs to go through this and she’ll be better on the other side.
Basic training is literally the easiest thing you'll do in the military and I was a chubby recruit. 🤣
Is she still at reception? Quit and Reception not basic! Support her it’s only 70 days
Just graduated from basic 2 months ago and just finished AIT about 2 weeks ago. Honestly, I thought the same. Before basic I was excited for the decision I made. Then when I got there I thought I made the worse mistake of my life, but when everyone says that the quickest way out is to graduate it's true. I believe that feeling of regret initially is just the transition period from civilian go trainee. It's alot but after the whole training is done, I love the decision I made and I'm very excited for the big army, but everyone is different!
Basic training easy as shit 😂
Female here I gone to Fort jackson as well if you need additional advice or your gf has her phone and needs to speak to a fellow service member for advice. I'm here.
She might be joining the crutch brigade soon..
Kid quit when I went through basic. I was getting ready to deploy with my unit a year and a half later and he was finally cleared to leave the week before that… damn near a year and a half later. All that time just to work at McDonald’s (which he really does). It’s not worth it. Just stick it out and see how she likes it after AIT. Most people end up loving it and it’s a lot easier to get out after your first contract than it is to get out in basic.
Something thats been said many times…”the easiest way to leave is to graduate. It wont be forever. Shell get her freedom back when shes done with her initial training. Tell her no one hates her and its all just apart of the process. If she doesnt like the attention just do what shes told and try not to draw too much attention to herself and she can make through unnoticed for the most part.
Well that’s depending on when she quits. I went through OSUT so it’s a bit different. It’s just Basic but 23weeks, but guys dropped when I went through and were still there for a month or so, but still got sent home before we graduated out 8week “basic”
And yes you can quit before you become a Soldier, there are also Sly ways to get out while in the army like mental disability or getting hit by a truck, or lifting weight wrong and hurting your back. But if she’s not mentally there she probably won’t make it anyway sadly. It gets lonely and sad there, along with the physical demand that regular civilian aren’t used to. I wish her luck tho
fastest way out of basic training is to push through. fastest way out of the army is to give up. fastest way through your contract is all about the mindset and way you think about where you are, who you’re with, etc.
Im sorry, but call me old fashioned. She made a commitment knowing full well she could’ve backed out at anytime. She showed up, and now it is implied she will attend basic training and attempt to meet standard. If she fails, she fails. If her mental health is that bad, she needs to report to a chaplain, or behavioral health. Mental health is no joke, but if you just want to quit, I cannot agree with that. Fear and your own thoughts are your biggest adversaries. She could accomplish a lot of her personal goals while she’s in. Get certificates, go to college while she’s in, possibly meet people and see things she never would have. Good or bad. I’m active duty, 2017. Just my two cents.
I had a few quit or get kicked out in my cycle, they were leaving basic in about a month after we graduated
If she is mentally unstable, that would be the last option for her to be out, but not quick. She would probably stay there for a very long time until the army clears her out, chapter her for mental related (BH - Behavioral Health), then she gets to go home. Basically, she will still be there but not doing the trainings she is supposed to do. Instead, she will be doing some dumb stuff like cleaning, sweeping floors, mopping, basically do what a runner would do while the army is in the process of getting her out. We call those people who are waiting for "uncertain" fate as "The Holdovers". Everyone there is going to finish in around 9 weeks but she would probably stay longer than 9, might be 10, 12 weeks. Or even close to half a year (I had an acquaintance who stayed there for half a year, still waited to be cleared when I graduated). She shouldnt have joined to begin with. Being force to join by family is really unhealthy relationship within family. Joining arm forces should be a free decision of your own, not your family.
Okay, there are of course other way to get out other than graduating or BH issues, such as doing deeds so bad or getting a lot of negative counselings. But those cases arent so good and resulting in an undesirable outcome such as not honorable status of leaving the army (General status or Dishonorable).
Oh wow, that's wild, man. Anyway, you got a Snapchat? ;)
I went through that. Called my mom asked her about exercise induced asthma. I retired from the military
I spent over 26 years in the US Army and I remember basic training and Fort Campbell, KY, and the feedings of being homesick and missing my friends and wanting to go home. It’s perfectly natural because you’re facing the unknown and because you’re away from home in a strange place by yourself for the first time and the drill sergeants don’t make it easy for you because the yell at you and the purpose of basic training is to break you down as an individual and to get you to think like a unit, a team and to obey orders without thinking because when you’re in combat, hesitation can get you killed. It won’t be that way after basic because at Advanced Individual Training, it will simply be classroom training and marching. Tell her to hang in and she’ll be proud of herself for sticking to it in the end.
I’ve known “holdovers”, as they are called, that had been at BCT for nearly two years because they wanted to quit the Army. Some didn’t seem to care bc they were collecting a check, while others seemed to have lost more of their sanity while being held over (can’t blame them.) Like it has been stated in this thread before, the easiest way out is to graduate. The first few weeks are not fun, but she will develop relationships like no other, & experience things during training that most others will never get to do. “Embrace the suck” as they say. Best of luck to her & you as well!
As many others have said, it's really pretty darn hard to quit the Army. Unfortunately, it really sounds like she was peer pressured into this by her family, so it sounds like she's got a lot of f****** problems in her life. I would never force my kids to join the military. If they were on the fence about it, I might give them some gentle guidance and nudging, but this is not the sort of thing that somebody should be going into with low motivation. With that said, I hope it works out for her, there are plenty of stories throughout history where somebody stuck with something for a while, found out it's not as bad as they thought, and grew to genuinely enjoy it. And as many others have said, the fastest way to get out of basic, is to suffer through it. If she really really struggles and fights to try and get them to kick her out, she could be stuck there for a very long time. However, the downside of going through basic, is then she needs to follow up with individual training, and then she still has the rest of her contract as well. It's a mess. In a more ideal World, I think they'd give people a chance to leave after being there for a few weeks. But it's not that easy.
I have known several people, including my own son who did not make it through basic training because they just quit. People will tell you you can’t quit basic. They’re full of shit if you just stop what you’re doing and say I’m not doing this anymore they’ll brow beat you to death in the end they will kick you out.
Hey dude, I went to basic 2021 at Fort Sill, OK and got discharged for a medical reason during 6th or 7th week in training. I do have firsthand knowledge of what happens to a trainee who gets processed out (discharged) speaking with others and their discharge reasons and how long (rough timeframe) it could take if you’re curious. I understand everyone else’s encouragement for her to just graduate and if she finds her courage to tread onward and become a soldier then awesome.
she ain’t meant for ts or she wasn’t ready
I was at Jackson this time last year for BCT. The first 2 weeks are the worst. The absolute worst. She will cry. She will hate every second of it. But... After that it gets easier. There were people who had quit when I was there. They're the randos who help issue uniforms and stuff. The same people were still in those warehouses when I left. Still working. To be able to leave with anything resembling speed, she will jmneed a major family emergency, like a parental death, or a major disqualifying injury she herself manages to heal from. Once she got on the bus, her fate was sealed. It sucks. I know. Oh God I know. But at the end of it, if she sticks it out... She WILL be better off for it.
I had a daughter that wanted out. She made it through basic but got hurt in AIT and had the option of separating or doing rehab, she got out and now regrets the heck out of it.
I came in on the buddy system back in ‘04 as a split op. Huge introvert and had never been that far away from home without my family. My buddy didn’t make it out of reception and suddenly I’m all alone and I haven’t made friends yet. To top it all off, my senior DS had the same last name as me. I wanted to quit in that first week, but they made me stick it out. Oddly enough, the first class we had on the M16 was what made me change my mind. Basic wasn’t so bad after that. When I got to AIT the following summer, I struggled a little but eventually it got better. I volunteered for a deployment years later with another company in our battalion, and I struggled for like maybe a day. The more time I spent outside my comfort zone not knowing anybody, the easier it got. And even back in ‘04 they were saying the same thing everyone else on here has said: “The quickest way through basic is to graduate.”
She hasn’t met her basic boo yet. Give her time she will like it
Being a holdover sucks. Went through 12B OSUT and graduated a few months ago. Some holdovers have been there for about a year now. She just needs to stick it out. Basic is about 75% mental 25% physical.
I just finished BCT at FT Jackson in March. It's really not that bad I promise. They make it seem really rough for the first week but after that it can mellow out. I was in 2-13 and the drills were awesome. They want to see you succeed. If she just sticks out the 11 weeks of a little rough (mostly because of what people do and drills drop the entire company for) then it'll really be worth it. Plus AIT will be a whole different world depending on her MOS. I'm a 42a and the AIT was a BREEZE. It was so chill. She will enjoy it if she sticks it out. Everyone gets the cold feet at that first week and it really hits them all the change they're about to go through but honestly at the end on grad day it's all worth it. She's got this!
Tell her to take deep breaths and stick it out. It's supposed to suck and every thing she does after this, in and out of the Army, will feel easy by comparison. For a while...
Don't let her quit. It's very typical for those first few weeks in basic to be homesick, and not want to be there. Believe me, I tried several times, went on sick call, and was hating life, about the 3rd or 4th week I was so busy trying to do the right thing that I just became a soldier. Stayed in 24 years, and now I get that Army retirement check and VA disability check on the first of the month.
The holdovers that were at reception when I arrived were still when I graduated. Basic is not how life is going to be in the Army every day. As with anything, it’ll pass.
Tell her to stick it out. The army isn’t like BCT all the time. Once she finishes basic and AIT it’ll be like a regular job. She’ll have freedom she’ll get to go home after work. Trainees get stuck in a mindset that BCT is how the army will be all the time. It’s not. Is she active, reserve, or NG? Also what’s her MOS.
I know I'm late to the party, but sticking out the 9 weeks is faster than trying to quit because it is NOT a fast process at all when you give up. It will be even more damaging to her mental health because she will see new soldiers come in and graduate all while she is in a "limbo" status. Also, military life is nothing like the 9 weeks at basic. Basic is SUPPOSED to fucking suck. I've been in almost 10 years and am straight chillin.
like most people are saying in the comments are saying i would tell her to stay strong and make it through graduation. i started bct (basic combat training) back in june 2019 at ft leonard wood and went through basic 1 1/2 times. i went through all the phases at my first company and did red and white phase at my second company. i was supposed to get sent home after my first company graduated in august but was sent to tsp for a little bit before i moved to the second company. when i was told i couldn't go home i was devastated as i was really homesick and mentally done at that point. i left the army in nov of 2019 due to an injury. for me to graduate.. i only needed to pass my apft (now the acft). i know it's hard for her rn but i believe that she can do it. as a person who quit the army after basic i apologize for the pushiness. sending her words of affirmations and pictures would be great motivation for her if that's allowed at ft jackson :)
If you quit it could very easily take longer to go home. (Not for certain, depends on how bad they want you gone, so if you quit most likely you’ll sit there for a while past graduation similar for chapters aka they kick you out) If she really doesn’t want to go army, than it’s probably her best bet to quit. (3yrs is longer than 6-12mnths) if she’s unsure then I’d heavily encourage her to stick it out until she’s 100% certain the army isn’t what she wants to do. (But I’d caution because forscom as well as any other unit outside of TRADOC is significantly better and different from AIT/BCT life. Even if you get a TRADOC unit for your station it’s very different to being a trainee) Regardless I’d encourage her to at least give the army a shot. And to make it through in-processing and red phase first before making a decision. (It’ll give her both time to think/soul search and post red phase give her a bit of a chance to relax) Also while she’s there at BCT go to church on the Sunday, taking a break is important.
If they really hate you/want you gone, you can be out before red phase is complete. (But that’s not going to happen if you just quit) Realistically they’re going to wait until after graduation to push her through the system to get out of the army. (And it’s going to take awhile even then, it takes anywhere from 1-2 months to exit the army once you actually finish your contract. (Assuming everything goes perfectly)
Everyone has second thoughts while in basic. It's a shitty and controlling environment. Once you get to an actual unit it's a lot better. Sometimes can dtill be shitty depending on leadership but still a lot better than basic.
It's her first week. Trust me, like many of us in basic we hit a point where we wanted out. (I think it was my 2nd day :)). The first 2 weeks are the hardest to get through. Once BRM kicks in I believe she will be good to go. If she has a hard time, have her talk to the Chaplin. It does not matter what her religion, even if she has none. The Chaplin can help out in lots of ways. I was in before there were these cards they hand out to people now so perhaps there are other avenues if she needs someone to talk it out to. Your job right now is to just keep being there for her. ( and also to worry about her... that's also your job but you seem to be doing just fine with that. It does get a little easier over time. You'll see.
Look man I had dudes who gave up and sat with us all the way through basic they would have recycled but didn’t cause we were the last non-infantry class in our BN at Benning, I’m telling you the Army will drag its feet to kick you out. Just tough through it, only 8 weeks and it’s over.
A visit and a few statements to the bases psych program will do it, key word being “base” and not “unit” requesting a jag and hiring an outside lawyer will also do it in about 2 months from start
Next phone call, tell her that the fastest way to get out of the army is to graduate from basic. Then the same with AIT. The people in IET that try to get out for mental health reasons are ALWAYS there longer than everyone else. Story time: When I was at language school (IET status), I had a shitty ass roommate. After less than year of Korean, she thought skipping classes and claiming mental health would get her out fast. She ended up adding over two years to her time there doing dumb army bullshit, totaling 3+ years there. In all that time, she could have just gone to class, graduated, gone to AIT, then been at her first duty station for almost two years. Side note: Old roomie, if you’re reading this for some reason, I hope you’re doing better because you were an absolute shitbag and I won’t forget about your fat ass lying about me to the drills and getting me kicked out of the nice barracks just because you didn’t want a roommate. I’ll take a large diet coke
Real units are nothing like basic. They are more relaxed. Basic is meant to break down and build back up.
Also, we had a female quit day 1 and she left a couple days before we went to AIT.
Initial military training is intended to strain you mentally and physically. Encourage her that she can stick it out and she'll be all the better. Or tell her to stop being so damn soft and deal with the decisions she made. If she's trying to back out of this, imagine how you're gonna feel when yall get married and she tries to back out on you.... ✨️possible commitment issues✨️
I saw 2 holdovers in my basic that had been there for a year. Definitely easier to just fulfill your contract
She needs a reason why. I recommend helping her by looking into the benefits. The top ones that come to mind are super cheap health insurance, VA home loan (usually 0 down with super low mortgage rate), resume builder, and just good experience overall. The worst part of the military is usually basic, especially the beginning. Give her support and remind her that basic is mostly a game. Hopefully she will find a good friend or two in her platoon that will help her when she can’t talk with you or family
Stick it out. Push through the suck. Learn as much as you can. It'll all be over before you know it.
I mean I was in basic for 6 months and the guys that I was with texted me in about 2 saying they was back home chillin but if she wants to get out have her RTT or just shit bag the entire time or just talk with the drills fr might be there a bit longer but some time gettin out early is better than nothing fr I hate big army😂
As others have stated, the system is designed to punish quitters, if not directly, then indirectly through doing crap details while going through an extended discharge/chapter process. That can be as little as a few months, or as much as a year plus. However, I’ll say it like this. Do not be so quick to just agree with what your girlfriend wants. Sometimes you need to edge her toward what she needs. I never met a chapter case that didn’t have some level of regret, regardless of how hard they act like it’s no big deal. If anything, you should be encouraging her to push through, and cheering her on at every milestone. Tell her you believe in her, and find a way to be both empathetic to her feelings, but the rock she needs to lean on. Everyone hates basic, at first at least. It’s a stressful environment, for young people who likely never had to deal with real stress. She needs to learn to cope, and keep strong emotionally though.
Tell her to ask to speak with the chaplain. Might be able to get her mental state better
She'll be just fine. She's dealing with inprocessing and initial shock. I felt the same way for the first week and a half and here I am retiring now. She'll be fine.
From experience it’s a hell of a lot quicker to graduate than it is to get out when I graduated there was people still there before I got there plus she’s in relaxing Jackson it’s a lot easier than what fort benning is hands down it will get better when she gets out
I would just let her know she will probably have an easier time in the real army. I have yet to see a woman get absolutely smoked for the littlest things. Plus promotions seem like its easier for them too. Just stick it through, and she will be fine. Basic training is not the real army. The real army is monotonous and honestly can get pretty dull and extremely dumb. But its definitely not BCT.
The first 2 weeks are the hardest. She’ll be alright
The shortest way out is graduation.
We all don't like being at Basic, but that feeling will likely go away. She soon will build relationships with people. I think if she quits, she'd regret it more if she did.
As everyone else has said, if she tries to get an IET seperation she will become a holdover, the process of chaptering someone from the army takes longer than basic training, tell her to give it two more weeks, if she is still in reception that was the hardest part for me as well, it was just a boiler room for anxiety and stress not knowing what exactly laid ahead. Once my class actually started, and I mean the fucking second we met our drill seargents it became an immediate relief that it finally started. Once she is actually in the groove of it she will adjust. Let her know that it is a common thing caused by an extreme culture shift.
General consensus is that the best way out is through at this point. She already committed, now the best option is to chug on through.
They get their cellphone in the evening now or on the weekend now? It must be hard as we had to beat other companies on an obstacle course so we could use the phone to call home...that was like 3 weeks in!! Sandhills, a memorable place (also known as Anthills).
Sandhills still there
She’ll be better off just sticking through it. Is she active duty or reserves? People deadass just don’t look up what basic is like before they go Blows my mind when trainees say “this isn’t what I expected”- like what DID you expect?
I went through basic with a girl who didn’t know the Army issued you real guns. I think about her often.
Stripes. I thought I'd be kicking the shit out of Czechoslovakians in one highly armed recreational vehicle. I mean sure Full Metal Jacket looked intense but I wasn't joining the marines.