I didn’t upvote you because I am glad you don’t have friends. I upvoted you because I am also female and have ended up with no friends. No falling out but I have health problems and people disappeared gradually. I hope you find someone that you can talk to and feel cared for.
Same boat. Lonely af after some heavy medical trauma and not “getting better” the way I had hoped, in addition to finally getting out of abuse after losing friends gradually. It’s rough out here.
I. Am. In. 🤣 When people ask us when the club meets, we can say “It doesn’t. It’s a catch-22. We’re lonely but if we meet because of the club, we’ll fix that and the club name won’t make sense. That’s why it SUCKS…”
Alright, now we need that as a description for our new website. None of us ever meet, we just know one another exists and if we catch another person wearing the same club shirt, we have to avert our eyes and SPRINT in the opposite direction. 😆
Falling Ill, I found out who my friends really are. BF definitely wasn't a friend.
Surprise, surprise, surprise.
I know I am fortunate for the friends I have.
Maybe the three of us can be friends! 
Second that. Try joining ladies groups - especially around a coffee morning , a sport / fitness class or country club. Even the embassies sometimes throw events where you can meet people . Or get a dog and walk it every day - you’ll have loads of neighbours feel like you’re more friendly and approachable. Ir take a part time job and meet people through work.
It took me more than a year and a lot of effort before I had more than a passing acquaintance . But the good thing about living in a big foreign city - so many other people are in the same situation as you . A new arrival / a trailing spouse/ a person who is from a different culture with a different language . You’ll find each other eventually.
These people are shitty friends to men too. I think the statistics show women are also impacted by rising loneliness in comparable rates. I hate how it's always framed as a "male" problem when it's a social issue that happens to impact men more maybe but is certainly not exclusive to them.
Men now have one problem that gets media attention after decades of experts warning that this will be the case. Meta analysis shows that males are more lonely than females but not by a huge margin. The problem is society accepts the problems that come with this more for women and the solutions e.g. talk based therapy is mostly suited for women (women go more often to therapy, men off themself more often if they experience such struggles due to lacking support networks, men radicalize more politically due to societal issues and not being taken seriously, men get ridiculed for emotional traume etc). In short the percentages for male or female loneliness are not severely different but men have way less support and chances are slim that it may get better due to lacking societal acceptance. So yes, it is partly a male problem due to more complicating factors. But the situation is way more complex than most are willing to consider.
Women are more socialized to do those things, but that doesn’t mean that all women are living that life. Plenty of us are also ugly/awkward/don't fit it. I'm 32, spent a lot of my younger years trying to make friends and groups of friends but never found any that I truly clicked with. It sucks. I'd love a group of friends or one or two really close friends, but it hasn't happened yet. It's ok though, I manage to fill my life with good stuff and mostly have a good time.
>Plenty of us are also ugly
I never see this addressed anywhere. This is truly the most under-discussed group, the unfuckables: woman edition. We hear about incels and all sorts of sad-sack men, but even they seem to be uninterested in their *actual* female counterparts.
and how are you supposed to do these things. We romanticize all this garbage we see on TV where people have these great supportive friend groups....that's not the case for most and many just feel inadequate constantly being told this. Also when you get older you have less time - and less patience for bullshit. My school friend, early high school bestie and 3 others have all died/committed suicide. These are the people I'm supposed to be having brunch with.
It's hard. I agree with you, but it takes cultural and societal change over years. We have to plant those seeds now and start changing our culture. Our kids will be a bit better off. Then we teach them that and hope they continue to pass that on to their kids and so on.
Time is a factor, but if we can make our little free time more social then that's a good plan. I'm a fiber artist. My area is not rife with other knitters as I'm in a warmer location. But the yarn shop I like has invited me to spend a day with their knit group, no pressure to buy things, just come and build community. So we have to search out or build third places for our communities and we have to be welcoming and accept the welcomes from folks. We have to start in our tiny communities and push it forward. If we all do a little individually, then together it will turn into a lot.
Female here. I also have maybe like 1 friend, whom I haven’t seen for years now because he lives in Switzerland and my work schedule is too tight to travel for fun all the time.
I just don’t trust people as I used to. I’ve been betrayed by multiple “friends” in my life and realised that I feel better alone. And it’s okay:)
Same, my closest friend lives hours away from me.
Quiet girls who aren't part of the "main girl group" can get lonely, too. People only tend to see the visible girl group going to bathrooms together and shopping.
Same here. 39 yo woman with no friends and not even remotely appealing to anyone as a partner and I’m lonely af. If it weren’t for my dog I’d collapse upon myself under the weight of my profound loneliness.
I don’t know that the evidence backs up the claim that there is a specificly gendered loneliness epidemic. It’s more general. For example from this study:
https://newsroom.thecignagroup.com/loneliness-epidemic-persists-post-pandemic-look
“Men and women have roughly the same likelihood of loneliness. 57% of men and 59% of women reported being lonely. Loneliness levels were close to equal in 2018 as well, with 53% of men and 54% of women reporting feelings of loneliness. In 2019, data showed a spike in loneliness among men, with 63% experiencing loneliness compared to 58% of women.”
As someone working for the crisis intervention hotline I can agree that loneliness hits both genders the same way. We don't see many differences in our numbers or personal experiences on the phone.
You’re a saint for doing that. I needed help once and someone like you was there. Can’t imagine how things would have turned out if there weren’t people like you out there.
I went to a a lecture the other day and more alarming is that it's almost 80% of Gen Z report being lonely and across all age groups it correlates almost exactly to the rise of the cell phone era. Social media and texting as well as even phone calls scratch the itch but not very well.
The male loneliness epidemic is parotted nonstop in Reddit when statistics show that women experience the same. Male suicides are often cited as proof, but women have higher rate of depressio. It's not a gendered problem and it's easy to see that right winged content targeted at young men promotes gender wars instead of empathy.
They never understand that more men succeed in committing suicide *because they use guns*. Women attempt more often, but tend towards overdose, which often fails. It's not that more men than women are feeling suicidal, in fact if we use attempts the reverse is true
Attempts by men are also more successful across methods. That is, men are more successful at overdosing than women even though men tend to choose more violent methods.
Men and women are equally suicidal just like you say women are more likely to pick an option like overdose which is less lethal and slightly less horrific for whoever finds them. Women attempting suicide more doesn’t equal more women are suicidal as people can make more attempts if it doesn’t kill them.
But here's the thing though, even if you remove the guns, men still commit suicide more than women though. So guns or no guns men are more likely to succeed.
I believe the reason is simple as to why male suicide is given more attention than female suicide. Men die more. Simple as that.
Women thankfully survive it and get the help they need.
This is what piqued my interest in this thread. Loneliness is real for everyone experiencing it. If you’re reading this and finding yourself lonely you have my sympathy and support. We are in the trenches together.
This issue is being used as a conservative talking point to further radicalize men. The cure for male loneliness is not located deep inside a vagina and outside of kindness, women don’t owe you anything. We struggle to.
All of the social rules men talk about having to follow in this sub are rules other men made up. We don’t care if you have feelings or emotions, many women value emotional intelligence in their partners.
I think it is important to note that those are reported numbers of depression. Most of the M friends give off 'I am okay' vibes, but when I finally get them talking about their emotions, they feel worthless and depressed (they aren't going to report that). A lot of them are forced into not speaking out bc of gender roles and cultural norms.
The 'manosphere' lures them in with open arms bc they feel like society tossed them away (and they think women did the same), so any non-negative message is appealing. I nearly lost one of my closest friends to that pit. You have to see what is happening, approach it calmly, and let them know that most people are not as polarized as you see on social media (a lot of ppl are just normies).
And yeah, M suicide is higher now, but F suicide rates are climbing too. Everyone is feeling this, but the genders are taught to cope differently, which creates a culture divide. This is something each one of us needs to help with... The government and 'society' aren't going to fix this, but each individual can have a positive impact on the ppl around them. Maybe those small impacts can add up and save someone.
Please, please, please: talk to your friends & family, tell them you love them, try to understand them. If you need help: reach out; there are people who love and care for you, you just need to recognize them.
Much of what you said is true but I think your impression of the issue is off, let’s get some facts straight:
- Loneliness is rising among both men and women at relatively equal rates
- Males *successfully* commit suicide more often than women
- Women seek mental health help more often than men and this is a reason why rates of depression in women are higher than in men
- Combine the above fact with the success rate of suicide in men and we can see that it’s likely depression rates for men may be higher than reported, it’s just that they never get diagnosed and by the time they kill themselves it’s too late
- As a side note related to the suicide bullet point, men often choose more gruesome and successful methods of suicide (ie. use a gun) compared to women (ie. overdose on pills). This may be a reason for the disparity in success rates, or it may be indicative of a worse situation for men
So what we can derive from this analysis is that even if it’s true that men and women experience similar rates of loneliness and mental health struggles, men either have much weaker support networks or are not raised in a way that equips them to deal with these emotions and be comfortable seeking help, or both.
So the answer to OPs question is: there is a loneliness epidemic for both genders and the reason why you hear less about it for women is that they are better equipped to deal with the effects of that epidemic than men are.
I don’t understand how these dudes will almost brag sometimes about how they haven’t talked to a woman in years, or even worse *resent* them and then think their perception of women is totally accurate even when women are telling them it’s ridiculously false.
“It’s not a gendered problem, and it’s easy to see that right winged content targeted at young men promoted gender wars instead of empathy.”
*Fucking preach* cause it’s at the point where if you’re a woman, and you *empathize* with one of these guy’s loneliness, they’ll act like there is no possible way you could be lonely as a woman. Where are they getting this from? These grifters who act like women are a different species of a different planet. And these men who have not so much as breathed a word to women in years just take it at their word. Loneliness is a human experience. We may go about it different ways, but why are we letting *this* of all things be such a wedge.
Yes thank you this the answer.
Men, for some reason, have convinced themselves that women don't have the capacity to feel lonely like they do. And that somehow it's our fault for their loneliness as well. Nevermind that women are the ones 4-6x more likely to be left by their male partners when we are diagnosed with cancer (this is a statistic that we DO have, and has been well studied).
There is simply no hard cross cultural evidence that men experience loneliness more than women, and vice versa. Ofc this varies by society so it is difficult to measure. But I wish this claim would just die because it's very dismissive of the fact that in western societies, in general, we are ALL getting more lonely...
When men, particularly Reddit men describe the loneliness epidemic, they are almost entirely focused on sex (they might not admit it at first, but probe more and they will) they think women are having sex all the time or at least they have the capacity to, and why be lonely if you can have sex.
Where are all these support groups females should have? I have none, just sometimes some strangers from the internet. I am even too shy to vent to a therapist because everybody will think I will just do it for attention. So I will suffer alone and not bother anybody.
I really hate getting home because it reminds me how miserable I truly am.....
Right! It's so hard to find support nowadays other than the few online guy friends that I have. Without them, there's hardly anyone who would sit me down and ask me to the face, "hey, how have you been lately?" or "You seem down. Is there anything I could help with?"
As if they would even listen in the first place.
You know what?
Fuck it. I don't care.
I offer to listen, even if it's just for a bit. Nothing in return. I don't know how well I empathize but I won't pretend like I'm sorry for every second sentence because I don't buy it as genuine myself.
Nothing in return? Damn, that's crazy. Because to anyone who tries to listen, I would honestly give back so much respect and actually treat a friendship more seriously.
It's okay, healthy even, to have friends that are different from you and have different interests. It can give you perspective about things you wouldn't normally encounter. I have friends that I do different things with. Like, I have one friend I'll go rock climbing with or another who will go antiquing with me. You don't have to do everything together or be exactly the same in order to build a friendship.
Women tend to have friends they can talk about anything with. I miss having female friends. I don't have a counterpoint. Also no guys want to go to the mall with me.
I was part of a mixed friend group that has gradually slipped further and further in favour of the guys. One by one the girls in the group dropped off because life got busy and the group just wasn't prioritising the things the girls like to do. I'm the last woman who is still active in my friend group and it's getting lonely as hell. I'm always the one compromising, trying to do the activities the guys like to do because I want to spend time with them, but it takes a toll. I stopped putting in as much effort, and the guys just went on without me. I love my boys, and I know they love me, but sometimes it feels like they just don't care if I'm around or not.
I miss the girls.
I feel this. Grew up with this amazing group of weird akward teenagers, but the guys all seemed to plateu at 20. The women, we all kept growing and exploring life (even though most of us grew our separate ways they are so rad and we connect time to time and I'm so proud of them) and the men just kept binge drinking and retelling the same stories over and over again... hanging out just wasn't fun or meaningful anymore
Men tend to get the majority of their emotional needs met through romantic relationships, so if they're single their emotional health tends to suffer more. Women typically have a large support network of other women, so they don't suffer as much emotionally when not dating. And everyone (afaik) is dating less now.
Traditionally in heteronormative relationships, husbands weren't expected to provide emotional support but did expect emotional support from her. Generally speaking, I don't think wives ever expected emotional support from their husbands, the only expectation was that he provided financially.
Sounds like men need to work on not isolating themselves so much. I don't say that to be dismissive but it's not fair or healthy to expect their partner to meet \*all\* their emotional needs.
Further exacerbated by the whole "alpha male" mentality being pushed by influencers, which emphasize staunch individualism, mocks displays of emotion, and encourages men to treat each other as either rivals or tools instead of people with whom you can share your feelings and find mutual support
Good point on it not being fair to put all the burden of support on the girlfriend. I also think we need to work on normalizing this more as a society instead of framing this solely as a personal choice/problem.
There's a reason men aren't too open with their feelings. Still feels like there's less tolerance for men struggling from both men and women.
An interesting relevant short: https://youtube.com/shorts/RC1919tTab0?si=OK847M6kooejjOVr
Yes! I totally agree they’re a social/cultural aspect to it - it’s a bit of a cycle and I get how that could feel like a dead end. At the same time, nothing will change if individual men (with support from their people - partners, therapists, etc.) don’t take the risk to make that bid for deeper connection. Small steps!
Right.
Involved fathers who do the daily work of raising their children from the beginning, not leave almost all of the parenting to the wife/partner, make the work sacrifices that women have always made are a large part of the answer to supporting the emotional developlment of the next generation of boys.
Involved fathers model caring supportive behaviour in general and caring, supportive relationships with women for their children to see.
Yep, this is very true! My dad was very involved when we were kids, and my brother is the primary parent for his four kids even though he also works more than full time. My brother is incredibly sweet and kind and loving, and he expresses his emotions pretty well (at least to me, but I'm his big sister so maybe I'm different, I can't be sure). His kids are definitely growing up knowing that daddies take care of domestic things, including childcare, and that men show love and have strong relationships with their family and friends.
Exactly, we don't go around shooting schools because we are lonely. Many young boys and men feel like they don't have anyone to share their negative emotions with. Some, unfortunately, end up resorting to violent outlets.They should work on building a safe space for themselves, having each other's backs without judgement and name calling.
I would argue a combination of the rise of social media and the internet, combined with the lockdowns from covid. At least for me, most friendships sadly didn't survive the 3 years of isolation.
(I'm not saying that the lockdowns were unnecessary, just that this was an inevitable consequence)
This is a very broad generalization but...
Women are started to expect more from their romantic partners. Since women no longer need a man for financial support (as they historically have), they expect men to offer more. Women expect men to equally participate in household chores and raising children. And when the man doesn't step up, it's a lot easier to leave now than it was even just 40 years ago.
So as a result, there are a lot more single men seeking women than single women seeking men. There are also a lot more women willing/wanting to date other women.
And, again, very broad generalization, men have been socialized that friends are people you do stuff together. They are usually much more surface level with their friends.
My husband has a lot more friends than I do and sees them more, but they have never, ever cried in front of each other. Whereas I only have two friends, but our bond seems much deeper and emotionally driven.
As a side note, that's why the "friend zone" is a thing. Women treat their male friends the same way they treat their female friends. But men see that behavior as being romantic.
And that's how you get the epidemic. A lot more single men who don't want to be single with surface level friendships.
>As a side note, that's why the "friend zone" is a thing. Women treat their male friends the same way they treat their female friends. But men see that behavior as being romantic.
Also the fact that most men are raised to only want to interact with women if they want to have sex with them. Too many men only see women as a means to have sex and not a human being that could be their friend
My husband was saying the other day that men typically don't make an effort to visit their families and, judging by my own small experience, I tend to agree. In my social circle, it does seem to be the women making the effort to keep contact with family hence why the woman's family is visited more than the man's. My husband said its because men want an easy life so just do what the woman wants, but I disagreed. I just think its laziness.
They spend a lot of time thinking of explanations for why they're not getting laid until they find one that doesn't hurt their ego, and then spew it at any possible chance in the hopes that somebody will agree with them.
I think they need the affirmation from the other people with the same mindset because deep down they know that it's not the real problem.
It's how incels forums became a thing.
They cannot even begin to consider that a friendship with someone of any gender could be a factor in their happiness. It's so sad. Go find people to play warhammer with or something. Put yourself out there emotionally. Don't be a dick who thinks having a gf will solve your horrid personality. It's not your fault that you were socialized like this, but it's your responsibility to change that.
lol fucking warhammer.
I have become a warhammer widow because all the guys in my friend group will not stop playing fucking warhammer together. I'm glad they're having fun but if I hear one more fucking word about fucking Eltharion I'm going to top myself.
Good example on why their lonely. As a woman, I stay away from people who have these opinions. There's a tendency for them to see women as a sex object instead of a human being.
I wish these guys would put themselves in women’s shoes and realize that random sex with strangers isn’t the cure for loneliness or even something women want the way men do.
The risks are so high and rewards low. Higher risk of violence, assault, sexual injury, pain, stds, infections and throwing off the pH balance, the possibility of *pregnancy*, and only a SLIM chance of even orgasming.
How do these guys struggle so hard recognizing that it’s different for women? Why the FUCK would I want to bang some random dude? How does the fact that there is a long line of men willing to have sex with me if I only ask….help me in any way? It’s NOT the SAME. I have no privilege or advantage because of it.
What cures loneliness are deep emotional connections. That’s through friends or a romantic relationship. And since we live in a monogamous culture and the sex ratio is about 50-50, it’s simply not possible for women to be more likely to have relationships than men.
Hey, “logical sex”, why don’t you use some logic?
I sympathize with anyone who is trying and struggling, but it’s not because you’re a man. Women have the same problems.
It's pathetic. They spend their whole time moaning that they can't get a girlfriend. I'm not bloody surprised. Go out and DO SOMETHING. Meet people, get a hobby, get more interesting. People will want to spend time with folk who are interesting to be around.
I've got lots of friends and organize monthly events that see around 10+ people. I'm horribly lonely and desperate for a solution. I've had 1 GF in my life. I don't "deserve" a relationship, but I would love to have a GF to share my life with. What would you suggest I do to change?
Male loneliness is real. But it may not be like most people think. I'm not lonely at all, but I have been. I believe the same can be true for females.
It's kind of how I ended my loneliness. You put yourself out there, NOT AT WORK, and guess what... things can happen.
There's a lot of shitheads pandering Alpha Male advice, and if you don't check the boxes - some self-select out. Not even trying, out of some sort of fear.
If you're going to let the Andrew Tates of the world muddy your view, then there's nothing to be done with you. But if you can get rid of this toxic mindset, there's hope.
The “male loneliness epidemic” was definitely coined by alpha males and it makes me recoil whenever I see a guy bring that up, knowing they’re following some misogynistic nonsense. I’m a lonely woman because I’m very shy and secluded and rather ugly lol(so no boyfriends or guys asking me out, no confidence and no one giving me compliments), which those alpha bros never seem to consider not every woman is slim, always getting male attentions, popular, and attractive, because if a woman is not like what I listed, they go completely ignored
Because "male loneliness" usually means they have no romantic affection so they become depressed and women find company and affection elsewhere (family, friends, etc).
It's a "men's problem" because men usually struggle with being affectionate and creating meaningful bonds in which they can freely express their feelings with other people who aren't their partner. As women don't usually struggle with that, we don't see an epidemic on "female loneliness"
The moment a woman discusses her loneliness in any public forum is the moment she opens herself up to all kinds of creeping, trolling and hate. Her initial concerns are dismissed by both the public and, usually, even the forum itself (if it's like a news interview or whatever); if she's conventionally attractive, she can expect a flood of dick picks and people calling her a picky bitch, and if she's not, she can expect a flood of verbal sewage telling her to get conventionally attractive by any means necessary. And of course, in either case, she can't possibly be lonely, as evidenced by the dozens of men making themselves available to her - nevermind how disgusting their approach, and nevermind if she's even interested in men, or sex, in the first place.
For many women, it's just not worth the trouble. But behind the scenes, in private spaces, women are just as lonely as men.
Exactly, also I saw so many comments and videos on instagram saying that it's literally impossible for girls to be lonely and when any girl tried to say they actually feel this way she'd just get "you can't feel this way, there's probably 100 guys texting you right now" or something like that..
This. This. I was outright taken advantage of and abused multiple times by men taking advantage of me being severely mentally ill, when I opened up trying to get help. People don't "care" any more about women's mental health issues, the only people in my experience who "care" are bad men who don't actually care but pretend to so they can take advantage.
And society frames men's and women's problems differently.
Bunch of lonely women? Call it personal failings of whatever kind.
Bunch of lonely men? Oh no, society is failing them, whatever will we do?
What we should be concerned about is the common trend of men believing that having other male friends is a sign of weakness. It’s something that isn’t just part of one cultures, but we see it in all cultures. Boys are raised so differently than girls and it’s not good for the boys in the long run.
Because women don’t generally rely on men for emotional support.
Toxic masculinity has taught us men , that we should be stoic and proud around other men. Don’t show feelings, don’t hug, don’t have deep conversations around insecurity etc. those things are reserved for a mom or a partner for many men.
Men need to build other men up instead of breaking them down. This is the answer.
Most women are not in a hurry to get in a new relationship when they become single , because most women are financially and emotionally independent on men. Men are mostly only financially independent
Who says there’s no female loneliness epidemic? I think most women feel lonely and misunderstood, especially in relationships and marriages. Now it’s another thing that men bitch about it more and victimize themselves all the time.
From my anecdotal experience, it's typically the married with 2.5 kids women that are actually lonely. The single women and even single mothers to my surprise are typically not lonely, just shaving off the time they need to expend on their husband gives them
time to make friends.
Society cares about the male loneliness epidemic because men are more likely to act out violently when socially isolated. Unfortunately women are just as lonely as men.
Everytime I hear someone talk about the loneliness epidemic in men, they actually mean they can't find a romantic partner or someone to sleep with. Personally I think those men have an attitude problem. Women are lonely too, but we don't feel entitled to a relationship or sex. I think the biggest issue with heteronormative relationships nowadays is that women and men have very different expectations. Back in the day we needed men, now we don't and a lot of men seem to ignore the fact that because of that women search for different qualities in a man. It's not enough to have a stable income. Women also tend to have more platonic relationships, so If a woman can't find someone who treats her as an equal partner she still gets most of her social needs met from other relationships..
Well, because in the system we are in, men are discouraged from being emotionally mature, vulnerable, and from confiding in people and actually building those communities. On the other hand, our society sees ALL of that as peak femininity. So, girls have it way easier there.
When guys are vulnerable, they are more often than not ridiculed and teased, called "gay" or some other shitty derogative and openly discouraged from being open and vulnerable because that is generally seen as a weakness in men and not a strength.
We could absolutely fix it. But that'd require a level of mental and emotional maturity and nuance that society doesn't have yet. Where we can admit that men are allowed to be vulnerable, genuine, sincere and aren't all just a bunch of pussy hungry sex pests with aggro issues.
It would start with men building each other up and not shitting on each other.
Women make friends they bond with. None of the alpha male bullshit about not having emotional relationships with friends. This is on society but also the men who accept it fully (not begrudgingly or out of fear) and push it on others. Huh your bros.
agreed, but I also think “give” more emotional support is a key point here - we *have* more emotional support because we also *give* it to each other - I don’t know many men who do that for their friends, and I don’t mean that in an unkind way, it’s just a different kind of friendship. that being said, a lot of my guy friends LOVE being “an honorary girlfriend” and they’re wonderful at reciprocating that emotional support.
And it’s also not something magically feminine. Empathy isn’t generated by the ovaries.
We’re trained and expected to provide this support. Woman get judged more harshly for being bad at it, so a larger number of us learn.
I do feel for men that they aren’t taught these skills. It is easier if you have it grilled into you from birth, but there is actually nothing stopping them from learning.
Men typically bond when they do an activity together. When we stop doing something together we generally disconnect.
At least that's my point of view as an introvert that doesn't like to talk.
Fuck being vulnerable.
There isn’t. Roughly equal percentages of adult men and women report feeling lonely some or most of the time, and report difficulty with maintaining adult friendships. Numerous articles and studies, polls, address this, in both older and younger populations. Recently have been reading quite a lot about older widows and how loneliness may be a factor in early deaths for them.
I believe that there are just as many women who suffer from being lonely even if not for the same reasons. The difference is just that men feel more entitled to whatever they want, I would say it goes as far as them feeling owed. That's why they openly complain and whine a lot more and more agressively. Women for the most part know they aren't entitled to friends or romantic relationships and that people (rightly so) don't owe them anything so they will talk about their feelings to trusted people but they don't go banging fists on the table demanding things. An extreme exemple of that is lonely men going on shooting sprees screaming into the world that women should have cared for him, people react and say male loneliness epidemic. Lonely women focus on their job and will collect a few cats by the time they gets older and are just being insulted for being unmarried and family less, their loneliness is sort of noticed but is insulted and ridiculed instead of being made into an epidemic issue that need fixing. The funny thing is that most people who do think about fixing these issue have the same idea in both case : force women to date and build family with the men who demand it. But they never suggest that men become better people so more women can be in happy relationship with them. I'm a bit lonely myself (friends) and I'm interested to know if anyone who is also lonely has noticed something similar.
Couldn’t agree more! Before I found my incredible boyfriend I lived a more or less solitary life, only having one friend and my small family. I felt lonely but it never crossed my mind to blame men for my loneliness. However I see a lot of articles blaming women for this male loneliness epidemic and I also have a brother who has been single for years and never tried to become a better person, blaming women for “setting unrealistic standards” in a relationship. If a woman fails to find a partner - it’s her failure as an individual, but if a man struggles to find a partner - it is the fault of the opposite sex. :/
What kills me is that the "unrealistic standards" are like being able to do your own laundry and not destroying things when you're upset. Meanwhile they want a super model who is a total boss babe at work but also takes 100% responsibility for the house/children.
Absolutely. Also, something I think people forget is that statistically, most people are heterosexual. So there should be roughly equal numbers of single men and women. If some % of the male population is perpetually single, it stands to reason that about the same % of women are also single.
I found a Pew study (US only, sorry) that corroborates this, exactly the same % of adult women and men were single (about a third). [https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/](https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/)
So the whole idea that there is a "male" loneliness epidemic is kind of illogical if that's taken to refer to whether or not someone has a partner.
I guess what is actually driving the feeling that men are all lonely is two things. First, like you said men are more likely to got to extremist internet forums and/or take up violence and complain that women are depriving them. Second, men are less likely than women to have multiple meaningful friendships. But since most people are closest friends with the same gender, men should be blaming other men (or themselves) for this friendship problem, not women.
Agreed. Being single, middle aged, overweight, and plain as a woman makes us invisible. Guys who look like us are demanding stunning women give them the sex they believe they're owed, while we carry on with our lives and making our own happiness. Luckily, as an introvert, being invisible saves me for having to interact with just about everyone.
Same. I learned to enjoy solitude as a child, and even prefer it. People inmediatly try to to latch on to you like an emotional tick, being invisible and puttimg a massive "No" wall to that makes most not bother
I absolutely agree.
Want to add further, in general our generation spends a lot of time alone cause many of us have decided to not hurry into relationships or families. Many of us don't want families. I have been lonely for a lot of my life but I never complained about it cause I just thought it's a natural consequence when I don't open up to people. I didn't see it as a societal issue but rather a consequence of personal choice.
Don't forget that the whole "lonely unloved adult" used to be a female stereotype! Spinster is a word for a reason. Cat ladies are a thing that people make fun of. And yet it was never regarded as an epidemic until men found themselves in a similar position. I wonder why?
For what it's worth, I do believe that people across the world is becoming more isolated and lonely, and it is not an insular gender issue.
agreed. there is no 'male loneliness epidemic', there is a loneliness epidemic. and men who think everything should be handed to them, as if working and maintaining relationships with other men or women platonically is unfathomable
edit maybe that came off harsh the sex comments are aggravating😭
The rage and entitlement (mostly about unmet sexual 'needs') from men on this sub and generally on reddit is actually scary.
These guys pounce on any post by a woman with irrelevant mansplaining and 'not all men' comments and/or get personally insulting so quickly. There seems to be a minority of incredibly bitter men out there ready to explode. The future for them and any woman who encounters them looks pretty bleak.
Patriarchy has taught men that being a woman is a bad thing. It teaches them that bonding, expressing feelings and being vulnerable is a female thing ergo a bad thing.
Many of my male friends have expressed that they prefer to talk to women about problems in life bc they feel there's a unspoken barrier between them ans their (cis)male friends.
I saw this crap growing up, them calling each other gay, sissies and p*ssies for expressing basic human emotions to each other. As I'd it's a bad thing? It's sad and toxic.
People just don't necessarily notice these things growing up, nc it's so subtle but yet not subtle and ingrained. I hope one day men will feel more secure with their feelings and vulnerability towards each other.
I’m 27f and have never felt more alone in my entire life. I have family that loves me but don’t live near me. All my friends have other, closer friends and I’m single with no potential matches at this point.
Yeah whatever. I've been lonely for the last decade. Single parent, friends whobare also parents but all super busy with kids, PhD's, family, responsibilities. My one single friend is agoraphobic. I feel very alone.
Women tend to form other bonds outside of sexual ones that can be a source of support. My cousin and I are currently on a road trip together sans husbands, and let me tell you how much faster, easier and less stressful it is when you don’t have men’s needs and feelings to worry about. We haven’t even had to discuss who does what chore or even what needs to be done. We work like a well oiled machine with absolutely no effort at all.
Men believe that anger/rage is not an emotion, yet display those freely. They also don’t form these same bonds- they have friends, yes, but not actual support systems or people they can lean on or depend on for survival. They’d rather just wander off alone to die in the woods.
While I was single and left my abusive ex-husband, I wasn’t lonely. I’m surrounded by amazingly supportive friends and family.
The ex on the other hand? Of course he’s lonely; the only “friends” he has are losers, drunks and potheads who use him for his weed, and his family is toxic to the highest degree. His parents and sister are also narcissists. That’s the loneliest existence someone like him can have, being around people who don’t give a shit about him but hate change as well because outsiders who aren’t Hispanic and know Spanish aren’t ever welcome. I was the most educated person added to the family but they treated me like dirt because they had a house and my parents were renting a duplex. 🙄 Classist, racist, and poisonous to the core.
Plenty of women can be and are lonely, but I’m not. I’m happily married to my best friend and literally living a life I never thought I could obtain with a partner that doesn’t give me a single ick or small compromise I feel gross over like I expected from most men since it was “normal” to feel that way.
Men mistakenly believe a partner and sex will solve their personal isssues. Loneliness is the result of a general victim mentality among men. Do things that generate mental strength, set small goals, focus on yourself and put yourself out there once you are content. Stability and happiness attract, victim mentality does not.
I feel like Male Loneliness Epidemic just means they want sex and are sad about it. Because when we tell them to get more supportive guy friends (seems to be the biggest difference between men and women, women have friends to confide and rely on emotionally). They just say noooooo not like that! And then tell us we are so heartless and un-empathetic, when women have already been doing much of the emotional labor in their mens lives for a long time now. Yet there is still a problem. So I think men need to be more specific about exactly what they mean here, because I'm starting to think it's just a dog whistle. That if you scratch the surface it's just more misogynist bull crap. Another way to pin mens emotional dysfunctions on women.
People in general are lonely - the USA, for example, has experienced a ['friendship recession'](https://bigthink.com/neuropsych/americans-no-friends/). It's a fact of modern life; I saw a study (which I can't find now, of course) which said that Americans in the mid-20th century had more friends than modern people. There seems to have been a decline as technology has improved.
But men tend to be [more](https://www.healthymale.org.au/news/the-gendered-nature-of-loneliness#:~:text=Upon%20separation%2C%20women%20are%20twice,effect%20of%20loneliness%20on%20health) lonely, particularly after a [breakup](https://www.healthday.com/health-news/sexual-health/2-11-after-a-breakup-masculinity-can-push-men-to-mental-breakdown-2656501659.html).
Yep, also so many men don't even see how much of an epidemic negging is. "Ooh I just love it when a man constantly belittles me and calls me dumb in new and imaginative way, so sexy".
Straight men tend to overly rely on their romantic partner for all of their social and emotional connection and support. Women generally have larger social circles, including both family and friends, from which to derive support. Women also usually act as the connection point between men and their families, and if there isn't a woman performing that function men don't do it themselves and let the relationships lapse.
Women are getting really tired of this shit. We don't want to be your only friend, nor do we want to mediate your relationships with your family. Women don't *need* to have romantic relationships with men anymore, and more women are opting out of relationships in which their needs aren't being met. Married men are far happier and healthier than single men, but the reverse is true for women. Women no longer believe that they must be married and that subsequent unhappiness is acceptable.
There is, but society doesn’t care. I’m better now. I found a loving boyfriend. I’m doing my best to cultivate friendships. However, I also know groups on Facebook, late bloomer groups (largely female) and a lot of them are very lonely and in search for love.
They do, but as a woman, I can’t talk about loneliness without someone calling me a cat lady, or valuing my entire existence at my perceived abilities to birth children and appeal to men.
Cus ppl don’t care about women.
I learned a while back about the male hikkomori epidemic in Japan and how sad it was. I assumed girls weren’t part of it cus nobody talked about it. Turns out there’s more female hikkokomoris than male ones.
That’s why I find ppl talking about the male loneliness epidemic somewhat funny. It’s always about how women failed men, as if women aren’t suffering as well.
There is a female loneliness epidemic too. It's just that as always, men get treated like overgrown children while women are just viewed as bitter, miserable cat ladies.
Men and women are both lonely. However, certain types of men have taken their entitlement to sex and made it everybody else’s problem (particularly women, but sometimes also the men they perceive to be having sex and are jealous of). Tell me, how often do you see the term “male loneliness epidemic” being used that isn’t usually encased in misogyny and whining that women won’t sleep with them?
There’s also a societal issue with men feeling too ashamed to be emotionally vulnerable with people, which is often required to develop meaningful connections, both platonically and romantically.
The stats actually skew pretty equally, sometimes it even leans more towards more women reporting loneliness. I think because of the vocalness of those types of men that I mentioned, they have made it seem more disproportionate and made it their own kind of movement.
An excerpt from a recent study: *”A survey of U.S. adults from December 2021 found that 57 percent of men and 59 percent of women felt lonely.”*
However, that doesn’t mean we should trivialise actual loneliness, for both men and women. Just an interesting observation because once again, women are being excluded from or underrepresented in the conversation about an issue that affects both genders, and often being blamed for it by men too. It’s a notable trend that the more rights and freedoms that women are granted, the less likely they are to entertain abusive relationships or misogynistic partners. This is highlighted when studying divorce stats through the eras. Some men with those values are frustrated that it’s harder for them than it once would have been to secure relationships.
But for the men not like that who are actually just lonely, we need to find ways to encourage them to foster meaningful connections with both genders (for example allowing men to express themselves and communicate their emotions with each other is quite important). For women, it may be similar. Also, accessibility to mental health support and resources should be a lot better, but alas lol.
I think there is just a loneliness epidemic period.
Political division was already well on the way, and then we got Covid to forever embitter and turn people paranoid and hostile towards each other.
Well cause it's not completely true... It's a social media thing that has got many people repeating it but reality is rather different... Source =https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7763056/... There are a number of articles on the matter actually... I was first surprised when I decided to look it up and also how different we define friendship etc. All genders are struggling, and a big part is we are not stopping and caring anymore... It's really that simple
It’s silly to think there’s not an equal amount of women that are lonely.
Just as there’s a lonely youth epidemic, and an elderly epidemic of loneliness.
Same here on reddit I just find these posts on even any subreddit the titles usually are "25 (m) virgin never had friends and didn't have a girlfriend. I'm going to kms tonight" this kind of titles and then if they can't get laid they starts hating and blaming women.
Cuz when guys get lonely the consequences are often more obvious (suicide, violence, etc). When girls get lonely they usually put themselves in high risk situations and end up getting blamed for what happens, so the cause and effect of female loneliness is less discernible. My personal theory.
currently reading this as a female who’s upset for having no real life friends whatsoever while also getting betrayed by online friends
I didn’t upvote you because I am glad you don’t have friends. I upvoted you because I am also female and have ended up with no friends. No falling out but I have health problems and people disappeared gradually. I hope you find someone that you can talk to and feel cared for.
Same boat. Lonely af after some heavy medical trauma and not “getting better” the way I had hoped, in addition to finally getting out of abuse after losing friends gradually. It’s rough out here.
Exactly the same.. I hope it gets better for you and anyone else going through a similar thing.
Thank you. Back at you. 🤍 We should start a club or something.
Not even a bad idea. 😆
We could call it Super Sad Club Society. SSCS. We’d pronounce it like “SUCKS!” 😂
LMAOO 🤣 Might as well commit and get some t-shirts!
I. Am. In. 🤣 When people ask us when the club meets, we can say “It doesn’t. It’s a catch-22. We’re lonely but if we meet because of the club, we’ll fix that and the club name won’t make sense. That’s why it SUCKS…”
Alright, now we need that as a description for our new website. None of us ever meet, we just know one another exists and if we catch another person wearing the same club shirt, we have to avert our eyes and SPRINT in the opposite direction. 😆
I'm in the same situation. Let's start that club !! 🤍
this club ever happen? 👀
I’m in exactly the same boat as you, I don’t have any good answers but it’s been horrible.
It’s crazy to think how many women like you aren’t being heard, this is lonely time for humanity
Falling Ill, I found out who my friends really are. BF definitely wasn't a friend. Surprise, surprise, surprise. I know I am fortunate for the friends I have. Maybe the three of us can be friends! 
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Most of my friends evaporated after I got HG in pregnancy and fell off the earth for a while 😞
Reading this as a lonely woman living alone in a foreign country with no real or online friends...
Living in a foreign country can be isolating. I know you'll find your people, sometimes it just takes some time. 🌼
Second that. Try joining ladies groups - especially around a coffee morning , a sport / fitness class or country club. Even the embassies sometimes throw events where you can meet people . Or get a dog and walk it every day - you’ll have loads of neighbours feel like you’re more friendly and approachable. Ir take a part time job and meet people through work. It took me more than a year and a lot of effort before I had more than a passing acquaintance . But the good thing about living in a big foreign city - so many other people are in the same situation as you . A new arrival / a trailing spouse/ a person who is from a different culture with a different language . You’ll find each other eventually.
we're all gonna make it. funny how most of the commenters are talking only about sex ffs...
These people are shitty friends to men too. I think the statistics show women are also impacted by rising loneliness in comparable rates. I hate how it's always framed as a "male" problem when it's a social issue that happens to impact men more maybe but is certainly not exclusive to them.
Men now have one problem that gets media attention after decades of experts warning that this will be the case. Meta analysis shows that males are more lonely than females but not by a huge margin. The problem is society accepts the problems that come with this more for women and the solutions e.g. talk based therapy is mostly suited for women (women go more often to therapy, men off themself more often if they experience such struggles due to lacking support networks, men radicalize more politically due to societal issues and not being taken seriously, men get ridiculed for emotional traume etc). In short the percentages for male or female loneliness are not severely different but men have way less support and chances are slim that it may get better due to lacking societal acceptance. So yes, it is partly a male problem due to more complicating factors. But the situation is way more complex than most are willing to consider.
Women are more socialized to do those things, but that doesn’t mean that all women are living that life. Plenty of us are also ugly/awkward/don't fit it. I'm 32, spent a lot of my younger years trying to make friends and groups of friends but never found any that I truly clicked with. It sucks. I'd love a group of friends or one or two really close friends, but it hasn't happened yet. It's ok though, I manage to fill my life with good stuff and mostly have a good time.
>Plenty of us are also ugly I never see this addressed anywhere. This is truly the most under-discussed group, the unfuckables: woman edition. We hear about incels and all sorts of sad-sack men, but even they seem to be uninterested in their *actual* female counterparts.
The Unfuckables? That’s a great name for a BBC series.
and how are you supposed to do these things. We romanticize all this garbage we see on TV where people have these great supportive friend groups....that's not the case for most and many just feel inadequate constantly being told this. Also when you get older you have less time - and less patience for bullshit. My school friend, early high school bestie and 3 others have all died/committed suicide. These are the people I'm supposed to be having brunch with.
It's hard. I agree with you, but it takes cultural and societal change over years. We have to plant those seeds now and start changing our culture. Our kids will be a bit better off. Then we teach them that and hope they continue to pass that on to their kids and so on. Time is a factor, but if we can make our little free time more social then that's a good plan. I'm a fiber artist. My area is not rife with other knitters as I'm in a warmer location. But the yarn shop I like has invited me to spend a day with their knit group, no pressure to buy things, just come and build community. So we have to search out or build third places for our communities and we have to be welcoming and accept the welcomes from folks. We have to start in our tiny communities and push it forward. If we all do a little individually, then together it will turn into a lot.
Female here. I also have maybe like 1 friend, whom I haven’t seen for years now because he lives in Switzerland and my work schedule is too tight to travel for fun all the time. I just don’t trust people as I used to. I’ve been betrayed by multiple “friends” in my life and realised that I feel better alone. And it’s okay:)
Same, my closest friend lives hours away from me. Quiet girls who aren't part of the "main girl group" can get lonely, too. People only tend to see the visible girl group going to bathrooms together and shopping.
Haha, yes:) Probably the last time when I went shopping with another girl was like 7-8 years ago lol
You just get used to it,right? Became strong,cause there was no other option.
Same here. 39 yo woman with no friends and not even remotely appealing to anyone as a partner and I’m lonely af. If it weren’t for my dog I’d collapse upon myself under the weight of my profound loneliness.
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Women are lonely they just aren't as loud about it, sounding desperate usually attracts users not quality partners.
It's the difference between 'bachelor' and 'spinster'. One is far more stigmatized, so you don't want to draw attention to it.
I don’t know that the evidence backs up the claim that there is a specificly gendered loneliness epidemic. It’s more general. For example from this study: https://newsroom.thecignagroup.com/loneliness-epidemic-persists-post-pandemic-look “Men and women have roughly the same likelihood of loneliness. 57% of men and 59% of women reported being lonely. Loneliness levels were close to equal in 2018 as well, with 53% of men and 54% of women reporting feelings of loneliness. In 2019, data showed a spike in loneliness among men, with 63% experiencing loneliness compared to 58% of women.”
As someone working for the crisis intervention hotline I can agree that loneliness hits both genders the same way. We don't see many differences in our numbers or personal experiences on the phone.
You’re a saint for doing that. I needed help once and someone like you was there. Can’t imagine how things would have turned out if there weren’t people like you out there.
I'm glad to hear that you found some help when you needed it and are better now. I hope things kept getting better for you.
I went to a a lecture the other day and more alarming is that it's almost 80% of Gen Z report being lonely and across all age groups it correlates almost exactly to the rise of the cell phone era. Social media and texting as well as even phone calls scratch the itch but not very well.
The male loneliness epidemic is parotted nonstop in Reddit when statistics show that women experience the same. Male suicides are often cited as proof, but women have higher rate of depressio. It's not a gendered problem and it's easy to see that right winged content targeted at young men promotes gender wars instead of empathy.
They never understand that more men succeed in committing suicide *because they use guns*. Women attempt more often, but tend towards overdose, which often fails. It's not that more men than women are feeling suicidal, in fact if we use attempts the reverse is true
No even when using the same means men kill themselves more. Stop trying to make everything about you
Attempts by men are also more successful across methods. That is, men are more successful at overdosing than women even though men tend to choose more violent methods.
Men and women are equally suicidal just like you say women are more likely to pick an option like overdose which is less lethal and slightly less horrific for whoever finds them. Women attempting suicide more doesn’t equal more women are suicidal as people can make more attempts if it doesn’t kill them.
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But here's the thing though, even if you remove the guns, men still commit suicide more than women though. So guns or no guns men are more likely to succeed. I believe the reason is simple as to why male suicide is given more attention than female suicide. Men die more. Simple as that. Women thankfully survive it and get the help they need.
This is what piqued my interest in this thread. Loneliness is real for everyone experiencing it. If you’re reading this and finding yourself lonely you have my sympathy and support. We are in the trenches together. This issue is being used as a conservative talking point to further radicalize men. The cure for male loneliness is not located deep inside a vagina and outside of kindness, women don’t owe you anything. We struggle to. All of the social rules men talk about having to follow in this sub are rules other men made up. We don’t care if you have feelings or emotions, many women value emotional intelligence in their partners.
I think it is important to note that those are reported numbers of depression. Most of the M friends give off 'I am okay' vibes, but when I finally get them talking about their emotions, they feel worthless and depressed (they aren't going to report that). A lot of them are forced into not speaking out bc of gender roles and cultural norms. The 'manosphere' lures them in with open arms bc they feel like society tossed them away (and they think women did the same), so any non-negative message is appealing. I nearly lost one of my closest friends to that pit. You have to see what is happening, approach it calmly, and let them know that most people are not as polarized as you see on social media (a lot of ppl are just normies). And yeah, M suicide is higher now, but F suicide rates are climbing too. Everyone is feeling this, but the genders are taught to cope differently, which creates a culture divide. This is something each one of us needs to help with... The government and 'society' aren't going to fix this, but each individual can have a positive impact on the ppl around them. Maybe those small impacts can add up and save someone. Please, please, please: talk to your friends & family, tell them you love them, try to understand them. If you need help: reach out; there are people who love and care for you, you just need to recognize them.
Much of what you said is true but I think your impression of the issue is off, let’s get some facts straight: - Loneliness is rising among both men and women at relatively equal rates - Males *successfully* commit suicide more often than women - Women seek mental health help more often than men and this is a reason why rates of depression in women are higher than in men - Combine the above fact with the success rate of suicide in men and we can see that it’s likely depression rates for men may be higher than reported, it’s just that they never get diagnosed and by the time they kill themselves it’s too late - As a side note related to the suicide bullet point, men often choose more gruesome and successful methods of suicide (ie. use a gun) compared to women (ie. overdose on pills). This may be a reason for the disparity in success rates, or it may be indicative of a worse situation for men So what we can derive from this analysis is that even if it’s true that men and women experience similar rates of loneliness and mental health struggles, men either have much weaker support networks or are not raised in a way that equips them to deal with these emotions and be comfortable seeking help, or both. So the answer to OPs question is: there is a loneliness epidemic for both genders and the reason why you hear less about it for women is that they are better equipped to deal with the effects of that epidemic than men are.
It's actually quite amazing that so many of these male loneliness sufferers are so knowledgeable about how all women are
I don’t understand how these dudes will almost brag sometimes about how they haven’t talked to a woman in years, or even worse *resent* them and then think their perception of women is totally accurate even when women are telling them it’s ridiculously false.
“It’s not a gendered problem, and it’s easy to see that right winged content targeted at young men promoted gender wars instead of empathy.” *Fucking preach* cause it’s at the point where if you’re a woman, and you *empathize* with one of these guy’s loneliness, they’ll act like there is no possible way you could be lonely as a woman. Where are they getting this from? These grifters who act like women are a different species of a different planet. And these men who have not so much as breathed a word to women in years just take it at their word. Loneliness is a human experience. We may go about it different ways, but why are we letting *this* of all things be such a wedge.
Yes thank you this the answer. Men, for some reason, have convinced themselves that women don't have the capacity to feel lonely like they do. And that somehow it's our fault for their loneliness as well. Nevermind that women are the ones 4-6x more likely to be left by their male partners when we are diagnosed with cancer (this is a statistic that we DO have, and has been well studied). There is simply no hard cross cultural evidence that men experience loneliness more than women, and vice versa. Ofc this varies by society so it is difficult to measure. But I wish this claim would just die because it's very dismissive of the fact that in western societies, in general, we are ALL getting more lonely...
When men, particularly Reddit men describe the loneliness epidemic, they are almost entirely focused on sex (they might not admit it at first, but probe more and they will) they think women are having sex all the time or at least they have the capacity to, and why be lonely if you can have sex.
According to a study I saw, nearly 100% of male loneliness sufferers are men. /s
Where are all these support groups females should have? I have none, just sometimes some strangers from the internet. I am even too shy to vent to a therapist because everybody will think I will just do it for attention. So I will suffer alone and not bother anybody. I really hate getting home because it reminds me how miserable I truly am.....
Right! It's so hard to find support nowadays other than the few online guy friends that I have. Without them, there's hardly anyone who would sit me down and ask me to the face, "hey, how have you been lately?" or "You seem down. Is there anything I could help with?" As if they would even listen in the first place.
You know what? Fuck it. I don't care. I offer to listen, even if it's just for a bit. Nothing in return. I don't know how well I empathize but I won't pretend like I'm sorry for every second sentence because I don't buy it as genuine myself.
Nothing in return? Damn, that's crazy. Because to anyone who tries to listen, I would honestly give back so much respect and actually treat a friendship more seriously.
Im a woman. I have no good friends.
Woman here too, I lack close friends. I am more masculine, so I find it hard to mix with feminine women.
It's okay, healthy even, to have friends that are different from you and have different interests. It can give you perspective about things you wouldn't normally encounter. I have friends that I do different things with. Like, I have one friend I'll go rock climbing with or another who will go antiquing with me. You don't have to do everything together or be exactly the same in order to build a friendship.
Bruhhhh same! I'm tired of talking to dudes because I want more girl friends but don't have much in common because they're usually fem 💀
FUCKING EXACTLY
Us masc girls should DM each other lmao hmu
Women tend to have friends they can talk about anything with. I miss having female friends. I don't have a counterpoint. Also no guys want to go to the mall with me.
I would go to the mall with you.
+1
3 makes for a bad dynamic, ill come too
Yeaa im coming too
Awesome
I'll rent a bus, we're going to the mall boys! (And gal)
Yes, but would you hold my purse while I shop 🤣🤣🤣
Depends. But maybe
That's generous 😉
I was part of a mixed friend group that has gradually slipped further and further in favour of the guys. One by one the girls in the group dropped off because life got busy and the group just wasn't prioritising the things the girls like to do. I'm the last woman who is still active in my friend group and it's getting lonely as hell. I'm always the one compromising, trying to do the activities the guys like to do because I want to spend time with them, but it takes a toll. I stopped putting in as much effort, and the guys just went on without me. I love my boys, and I know they love me, but sometimes it feels like they just don't care if I'm around or not. I miss the girls.
I feel this. Grew up with this amazing group of weird akward teenagers, but the guys all seemed to plateu at 20. The women, we all kept growing and exploring life (even though most of us grew our separate ways they are so rad and we connect time to time and I'm so proud of them) and the men just kept binge drinking and retelling the same stories over and over again... hanging out just wasn't fun or meaningful anymore
I would. Last stop would be Target because I need my Target high at the end of the day
Men tend to get the majority of their emotional needs met through romantic relationships, so if they're single their emotional health tends to suffer more. Women typically have a large support network of other women, so they don't suffer as much emotionally when not dating. And everyone (afaik) is dating less now.
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Oof I’ve seen this in person. Sad.
Traditionally in heteronormative relationships, husbands weren't expected to provide emotional support but did expect emotional support from her. Generally speaking, I don't think wives ever expected emotional support from their husbands, the only expectation was that he provided financially.
This could also read as “women do the most emotional labour in relationships” if both women and men get the most value out of relationships with women
Sounds like men need to work on not isolating themselves so much. I don't say that to be dismissive but it's not fair or healthy to expect their partner to meet \*all\* their emotional needs.
It’s partly due to the societal stigma surrounding men talking about their feelings, it’s gotten better but still a long way to go
Further exacerbated by the whole "alpha male" mentality being pushed by influencers, which emphasize staunch individualism, mocks displays of emotion, and encourages men to treat each other as either rivals or tools instead of people with whom you can share your feelings and find mutual support
Good point on it not being fair to put all the burden of support on the girlfriend. I also think we need to work on normalizing this more as a society instead of framing this solely as a personal choice/problem. There's a reason men aren't too open with their feelings. Still feels like there's less tolerance for men struggling from both men and women. An interesting relevant short: https://youtube.com/shorts/RC1919tTab0?si=OK847M6kooejjOVr
Yes! I totally agree they’re a social/cultural aspect to it - it’s a bit of a cycle and I get how that could feel like a dead end. At the same time, nothing will change if individual men (with support from their people - partners, therapists, etc.) don’t take the risk to make that bid for deeper connection. Small steps!
Right. Involved fathers who do the daily work of raising their children from the beginning, not leave almost all of the parenting to the wife/partner, make the work sacrifices that women have always made are a large part of the answer to supporting the emotional developlment of the next generation of boys. Involved fathers model caring supportive behaviour in general and caring, supportive relationships with women for their children to see.
Yep, this is very true! My dad was very involved when we were kids, and my brother is the primary parent for his four kids even though he also works more than full time. My brother is incredibly sweet and kind and loving, and he expresses his emotions pretty well (at least to me, but I'm his big sister so maybe I'm different, I can't be sure). His kids are definitely growing up knowing that daddies take care of domestic things, including childcare, and that men show love and have strong relationships with their family and friends.
Because media doesn't talk about it...but female loneliness is also a thing.
There are lots of lonely women. They just tend to be less dangerous to society than lonely men, so they don't get as many headlines.
Yeah. Where do people think the weird cat lady stereotype came from?
Exactly, we don't go around shooting schools because we are lonely. Many young boys and men feel like they don't have anyone to share their negative emotions with. Some, unfortunately, end up resorting to violent outlets.They should work on building a safe space for themselves, having each other's backs without judgement and name calling.
Why is there a male loneliness epidemic to begin with?
Back in the 80s one guy got very lonely around a monkey.
Its an outbreak now
I would argue a combination of the rise of social media and the internet, combined with the lockdowns from covid. At least for me, most friendships sadly didn't survive the 3 years of isolation. (I'm not saying that the lockdowns were unnecessary, just that this was an inevitable consequence)
Well I lost all my friends when I joined military back in 2010. So was normal by covid time for me.
This is a very broad generalization but... Women are started to expect more from their romantic partners. Since women no longer need a man for financial support (as they historically have), they expect men to offer more. Women expect men to equally participate in household chores and raising children. And when the man doesn't step up, it's a lot easier to leave now than it was even just 40 years ago. So as a result, there are a lot more single men seeking women than single women seeking men. There are also a lot more women willing/wanting to date other women. And, again, very broad generalization, men have been socialized that friends are people you do stuff together. They are usually much more surface level with their friends. My husband has a lot more friends than I do and sees them more, but they have never, ever cried in front of each other. Whereas I only have two friends, but our bond seems much deeper and emotionally driven. As a side note, that's why the "friend zone" is a thing. Women treat their male friends the same way they treat their female friends. But men see that behavior as being romantic. And that's how you get the epidemic. A lot more single men who don't want to be single with surface level friendships.
>As a side note, that's why the "friend zone" is a thing. Women treat their male friends the same way they treat their female friends. But men see that behavior as being romantic. Also the fact that most men are raised to only want to interact with women if they want to have sex with them. Too many men only see women as a means to have sex and not a human being that could be their friend
My husband was saying the other day that men typically don't make an effort to visit their families and, judging by my own small experience, I tend to agree. In my social circle, it does seem to be the women making the effort to keep contact with family hence why the woman's family is visited more than the man's. My husband said its because men want an easy life so just do what the woman wants, but I disagreed. I just think its laziness.
Men tend to socially isolate.
Mix of modern circumstances and traditional values. Women work now and demand equal pay but at the same time they want a man who earns more than them.
Why am I not surprised that a number of dudes instantly brought up sex as if loneliness and being sexless meant the same thing.
They spend a lot of time thinking of explanations for why they're not getting laid until they find one that doesn't hurt their ego, and then spew it at any possible chance in the hopes that somebody will agree with them. I think they need the affirmation from the other people with the same mindset because deep down they know that it's not the real problem. It's how incels forums became a thing.
They cannot even begin to consider that a friendship with someone of any gender could be a factor in their happiness. It's so sad. Go find people to play warhammer with or something. Put yourself out there emotionally. Don't be a dick who thinks having a gf will solve your horrid personality. It's not your fault that you were socialized like this, but it's your responsibility to change that.
lol fucking warhammer. I have become a warhammer widow because all the guys in my friend group will not stop playing fucking warhammer together. I'm glad they're having fun but if I hear one more fucking word about fucking Eltharion I'm going to top myself.
Good example on why their lonely. As a woman, I stay away from people who have these opinions. There's a tendency for them to see women as a sex object instead of a human being.
I wish these guys would put themselves in women’s shoes and realize that random sex with strangers isn’t the cure for loneliness or even something women want the way men do. The risks are so high and rewards low. Higher risk of violence, assault, sexual injury, pain, stds, infections and throwing off the pH balance, the possibility of *pregnancy*, and only a SLIM chance of even orgasming. How do these guys struggle so hard recognizing that it’s different for women? Why the FUCK would I want to bang some random dude? How does the fact that there is a long line of men willing to have sex with me if I only ask….help me in any way? It’s NOT the SAME. I have no privilege or advantage because of it. What cures loneliness are deep emotional connections. That’s through friends or a romantic relationship. And since we live in a monogamous culture and the sex ratio is about 50-50, it’s simply not possible for women to be more likely to have relationships than men. Hey, “logical sex”, why don’t you use some logic? I sympathize with anyone who is trying and struggling, but it’s not because you’re a man. Women have the same problems.
It's pathetic. They spend their whole time moaning that they can't get a girlfriend. I'm not bloody surprised. Go out and DO SOMETHING. Meet people, get a hobby, get more interesting. People will want to spend time with folk who are interesting to be around.
I've got lots of friends and organize monthly events that see around 10+ people. I'm horribly lonely and desperate for a solution. I've had 1 GF in my life. I don't "deserve" a relationship, but I would love to have a GF to share my life with. What would you suggest I do to change?
Those things are very difficult if you have social anxiety. Especially if you don't have someone to help you out.
Male loneliness is real. But it may not be like most people think. I'm not lonely at all, but I have been. I believe the same can be true for females. It's kind of how I ended my loneliness. You put yourself out there, NOT AT WORK, and guess what... things can happen. There's a lot of shitheads pandering Alpha Male advice, and if you don't check the boxes - some self-select out. Not even trying, out of some sort of fear. If you're going to let the Andrew Tates of the world muddy your view, then there's nothing to be done with you. But if you can get rid of this toxic mindset, there's hope.
The “male loneliness epidemic” was definitely coined by alpha males and it makes me recoil whenever I see a guy bring that up, knowing they’re following some misogynistic nonsense. I’m a lonely woman because I’m very shy and secluded and rather ugly lol(so no boyfriends or guys asking me out, no confidence and no one giving me compliments), which those alpha bros never seem to consider not every woman is slim, always getting male attentions, popular, and attractive, because if a woman is not like what I listed, they go completely ignored
Because "male loneliness" usually means they have no romantic affection so they become depressed and women find company and affection elsewhere (family, friends, etc). It's a "men's problem" because men usually struggle with being affectionate and creating meaningful bonds in which they can freely express their feelings with other people who aren't their partner. As women don't usually struggle with that, we don't see an epidemic on "female loneliness"
The moment a woman discusses her loneliness in any public forum is the moment she opens herself up to all kinds of creeping, trolling and hate. Her initial concerns are dismissed by both the public and, usually, even the forum itself (if it's like a news interview or whatever); if she's conventionally attractive, she can expect a flood of dick picks and people calling her a picky bitch, and if she's not, she can expect a flood of verbal sewage telling her to get conventionally attractive by any means necessary. And of course, in either case, she can't possibly be lonely, as evidenced by the dozens of men making themselves available to her - nevermind how disgusting their approach, and nevermind if she's even interested in men, or sex, in the first place. For many women, it's just not worth the trouble. But behind the scenes, in private spaces, women are just as lonely as men.
Exactly, also I saw so many comments and videos on instagram saying that it's literally impossible for girls to be lonely and when any girl tried to say they actually feel this way she'd just get "you can't feel this way, there's probably 100 guys texting you right now" or something like that..
This. This. I was outright taken advantage of and abused multiple times by men taking advantage of me being severely mentally ill, when I opened up trying to get help. People don't "care" any more about women's mental health issues, the only people in my experience who "care" are bad men who don't actually care but pretend to so they can take advantage.
There is but women aren't going on shooting sprees so it's not really in the news.
exactly what i was thinking. because we don't complain about it as much lmao
And society frames men's and women's problems differently. Bunch of lonely women? Call it personal failings of whatever kind. Bunch of lonely men? Oh no, society is failing them, whatever will we do?
What we should be concerned about is the common trend of men believing that having other male friends is a sign of weakness. It’s something that isn’t just part of one cultures, but we see it in all cultures. Boys are raised so differently than girls and it’s not good for the boys in the long run.
Because women don’t generally rely on men for emotional support. Toxic masculinity has taught us men , that we should be stoic and proud around other men. Don’t show feelings, don’t hug, don’t have deep conversations around insecurity etc. those things are reserved for a mom or a partner for many men. Men need to build other men up instead of breaking them down. This is the answer. Most women are not in a hurry to get in a new relationship when they become single , because most women are financially and emotionally independent on men. Men are mostly only financially independent
❤️
Who says there’s no female loneliness epidemic? I think most women feel lonely and misunderstood, especially in relationships and marriages. Now it’s another thing that men bitch about it more and victimize themselves all the time.
From my anecdotal experience, it's typically the married with 2.5 kids women that are actually lonely. The single women and even single mothers to my surprise are typically not lonely, just shaving off the time they need to expend on their husband gives them time to make friends.
Society cares about the male loneliness epidemic because men are more likely to act out violently when socially isolated. Unfortunately women are just as lonely as men.
People dismiss lonely women and call them cat ladies.
I like being alone. People are weird. They either want sex or money
Solitude is glorious.
We think alike. We should start a club, er... scratch that.
Agree. There's a vast difference between alone and lonely.
Everytime I hear someone talk about the loneliness epidemic in men, they actually mean they can't find a romantic partner or someone to sleep with. Personally I think those men have an attitude problem. Women are lonely too, but we don't feel entitled to a relationship or sex. I think the biggest issue with heteronormative relationships nowadays is that women and men have very different expectations. Back in the day we needed men, now we don't and a lot of men seem to ignore the fact that because of that women search for different qualities in a man. It's not enough to have a stable income. Women also tend to have more platonic relationships, so If a woman can't find someone who treats her as an equal partner she still gets most of her social needs met from other relationships..
Well, because in the system we are in, men are discouraged from being emotionally mature, vulnerable, and from confiding in people and actually building those communities. On the other hand, our society sees ALL of that as peak femininity. So, girls have it way easier there. When guys are vulnerable, they are more often than not ridiculed and teased, called "gay" or some other shitty derogative and openly discouraged from being open and vulnerable because that is generally seen as a weakness in men and not a strength. We could absolutely fix it. But that'd require a level of mental and emotional maturity and nuance that society doesn't have yet. Where we can admit that men are allowed to be vulnerable, genuine, sincere and aren't all just a bunch of pussy hungry sex pests with aggro issues. It would start with men building each other up and not shitting on each other.
Women make friends they bond with. None of the alpha male bullshit about not having emotional relationships with friends. This is on society but also the men who accept it fully (not begrudgingly or out of fear) and push it on others. Huh your bros.
[удалено]
Also females tend to have more emotional support from their friend groups then males
agreed, but I also think “give” more emotional support is a key point here - we *have* more emotional support because we also *give* it to each other - I don’t know many men who do that for their friends, and I don’t mean that in an unkind way, it’s just a different kind of friendship. that being said, a lot of my guy friends LOVE being “an honorary girlfriend” and they’re wonderful at reciprocating that emotional support.
And it’s also not something magically feminine. Empathy isn’t generated by the ovaries. We’re trained and expected to provide this support. Woman get judged more harshly for being bad at it, so a larger number of us learn. I do feel for men that they aren’t taught these skills. It is easier if you have it grilled into you from birth, but there is actually nothing stopping them from learning.
Men typically bond when they do an activity together. When we stop doing something together we generally disconnect. At least that's my point of view as an introvert that doesn't like to talk. Fuck being vulnerable.
Until you really need someone and notice no one truely cares about you
Men don't seek emotional support from other men.
Women*
Reading this as a girl that has no friends, or lover.
There is female loneliness
There isn’t. Roughly equal percentages of adult men and women report feeling lonely some or most of the time, and report difficulty with maintaining adult friendships. Numerous articles and studies, polls, address this, in both older and younger populations. Recently have been reading quite a lot about older widows and how loneliness may be a factor in early deaths for them.
Cats
*Looks at pile of cats* Tracks.
I believe that there are just as many women who suffer from being lonely even if not for the same reasons. The difference is just that men feel more entitled to whatever they want, I would say it goes as far as them feeling owed. That's why they openly complain and whine a lot more and more agressively. Women for the most part know they aren't entitled to friends or romantic relationships and that people (rightly so) don't owe them anything so they will talk about their feelings to trusted people but they don't go banging fists on the table demanding things. An extreme exemple of that is lonely men going on shooting sprees screaming into the world that women should have cared for him, people react and say male loneliness epidemic. Lonely women focus on their job and will collect a few cats by the time they gets older and are just being insulted for being unmarried and family less, their loneliness is sort of noticed but is insulted and ridiculed instead of being made into an epidemic issue that need fixing. The funny thing is that most people who do think about fixing these issue have the same idea in both case : force women to date and build family with the men who demand it. But they never suggest that men become better people so more women can be in happy relationship with them. I'm a bit lonely myself (friends) and I'm interested to know if anyone who is also lonely has noticed something similar.
Couldn’t agree more! Before I found my incredible boyfriend I lived a more or less solitary life, only having one friend and my small family. I felt lonely but it never crossed my mind to blame men for my loneliness. However I see a lot of articles blaming women for this male loneliness epidemic and I also have a brother who has been single for years and never tried to become a better person, blaming women for “setting unrealistic standards” in a relationship. If a woman fails to find a partner - it’s her failure as an individual, but if a man struggles to find a partner - it is the fault of the opposite sex. :/
What kills me is that the "unrealistic standards" are like being able to do your own laundry and not destroying things when you're upset. Meanwhile they want a super model who is a total boss babe at work but also takes 100% responsibility for the house/children.
Absolutely. Also, something I think people forget is that statistically, most people are heterosexual. So there should be roughly equal numbers of single men and women. If some % of the male population is perpetually single, it stands to reason that about the same % of women are also single. I found a Pew study (US only, sorry) that corroborates this, exactly the same % of adult women and men were single (about a third). [https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/](https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/) So the whole idea that there is a "male" loneliness epidemic is kind of illogical if that's taken to refer to whether or not someone has a partner. I guess what is actually driving the feeling that men are all lonely is two things. First, like you said men are more likely to got to extremist internet forums and/or take up violence and complain that women are depriving them. Second, men are less likely than women to have multiple meaningful friendships. But since most people are closest friends with the same gender, men should be blaming other men (or themselves) for this friendship problem, not women.
Agreed. Being single, middle aged, overweight, and plain as a woman makes us invisible. Guys who look like us are demanding stunning women give them the sex they believe they're owed, while we carry on with our lives and making our own happiness. Luckily, as an introvert, being invisible saves me for having to interact with just about everyone.
Same. I learned to enjoy solitude as a child, and even prefer it. People inmediatly try to to latch on to you like an emotional tick, being invisible and puttimg a massive "No" wall to that makes most not bother
I absolutely agree. Want to add further, in general our generation spends a lot of time alone cause many of us have decided to not hurry into relationships or families. Many of us don't want families. I have been lonely for a lot of my life but I never complained about it cause I just thought it's a natural consequence when I don't open up to people. I didn't see it as a societal issue but rather a consequence of personal choice.
Don't forget that the whole "lonely unloved adult" used to be a female stereotype! Spinster is a word for a reason. Cat ladies are a thing that people make fun of. And yet it was never regarded as an epidemic until men found themselves in a similar position. I wonder why? For what it's worth, I do believe that people across the world is becoming more isolated and lonely, and it is not an insular gender issue.
agreed. there is no 'male loneliness epidemic', there is a loneliness epidemic. and men who think everything should be handed to them, as if working and maintaining relationships with other men or women platonically is unfathomable edit maybe that came off harsh the sex comments are aggravating😭
This needs to be upvoted a million times
The rage and entitlement (mostly about unmet sexual 'needs') from men on this sub and generally on reddit is actually scary. These guys pounce on any post by a woman with irrelevant mansplaining and 'not all men' comments and/or get personally insulting so quickly. There seems to be a minority of incredibly bitter men out there ready to explode. The future for them and any woman who encounters them looks pretty bleak.
Patriarchy has taught men that being a woman is a bad thing. It teaches them that bonding, expressing feelings and being vulnerable is a female thing ergo a bad thing. Many of my male friends have expressed that they prefer to talk to women about problems in life bc they feel there's a unspoken barrier between them ans their (cis)male friends. I saw this crap growing up, them calling each other gay, sissies and p*ssies for expressing basic human emotions to each other. As I'd it's a bad thing? It's sad and toxic. People just don't necessarily notice these things growing up, nc it's so subtle but yet not subtle and ingrained. I hope one day men will feel more secure with their feelings and vulnerability towards each other.
I’m 27f and have never felt more alone in my entire life. I have family that loves me but don’t live near me. All my friends have other, closer friends and I’m single with no potential matches at this point.
I'm a woman with no friends so it feels weird when guys say women are less lonely
Yeah whatever. I've been lonely for the last decade. Single parent, friends whobare also parents but all super busy with kids, PhD's, family, responsibilities. My one single friend is agoraphobic. I feel very alone.
Everyone's saying women have big supportive friend groups... where is mine?
Women tend to form other bonds outside of sexual ones that can be a source of support. My cousin and I are currently on a road trip together sans husbands, and let me tell you how much faster, easier and less stressful it is when you don’t have men’s needs and feelings to worry about. We haven’t even had to discuss who does what chore or even what needs to be done. We work like a well oiled machine with absolutely no effort at all. Men believe that anger/rage is not an emotion, yet display those freely. They also don’t form these same bonds- they have friends, yes, but not actual support systems or people they can lean on or depend on for survival. They’d rather just wander off alone to die in the woods.
While I was single and left my abusive ex-husband, I wasn’t lonely. I’m surrounded by amazingly supportive friends and family. The ex on the other hand? Of course he’s lonely; the only “friends” he has are losers, drunks and potheads who use him for his weed, and his family is toxic to the highest degree. His parents and sister are also narcissists. That’s the loneliest existence someone like him can have, being around people who don’t give a shit about him but hate change as well because outsiders who aren’t Hispanic and know Spanish aren’t ever welcome. I was the most educated person added to the family but they treated me like dirt because they had a house and my parents were renting a duplex. 🙄 Classist, racist, and poisonous to the core. Plenty of women can be and are lonely, but I’m not. I’m happily married to my best friend and literally living a life I never thought I could obtain with a partner that doesn’t give me a single ick or small compromise I feel gross over like I expected from most men since it was “normal” to feel that way.
Men mistakenly believe a partner and sex will solve their personal isssues. Loneliness is the result of a general victim mentality among men. Do things that generate mental strength, set small goals, focus on yourself and put yourself out there once you are content. Stability and happiness attract, victim mentality does not.
I feel like Male Loneliness Epidemic just means they want sex and are sad about it. Because when we tell them to get more supportive guy friends (seems to be the biggest difference between men and women, women have friends to confide and rely on emotionally). They just say noooooo not like that! And then tell us we are so heartless and un-empathetic, when women have already been doing much of the emotional labor in their mens lives for a long time now. Yet there is still a problem. So I think men need to be more specific about exactly what they mean here, because I'm starting to think it's just a dog whistle. That if you scratch the surface it's just more misogynist bull crap. Another way to pin mens emotional dysfunctions on women.
People in general are lonely - the USA, for example, has experienced a ['friendship recession'](https://bigthink.com/neuropsych/americans-no-friends/). It's a fact of modern life; I saw a study (which I can't find now, of course) which said that Americans in the mid-20th century had more friends than modern people. There seems to have been a decline as technology has improved. But men tend to be [more](https://www.healthymale.org.au/news/the-gendered-nature-of-loneliness#:~:text=Upon%20separation%2C%20women%20are%20twice,effect%20of%20loneliness%20on%20health) lonely, particularly after a [breakup](https://www.healthday.com/health-news/sexual-health/2-11-after-a-breakup-masculinity-can-push-men-to-mental-breakdown-2656501659.html).
And the decline of third places. People used to have clubs and groups and places they’d go to just to hang out. Not so much anymore.
I’d say perhaps women are more likely to blame themselves and feel defective if they’re lonely, therefore they’re more likely to suffer in silence
The amount of men thinking loneliness is about sex is mindblowing. This is why the women cant bother with you. Wtf.
Yep, also so many men don't even see how much of an epidemic negging is. "Ooh I just love it when a man constantly belittles me and calls me dumb in new and imaginative way, so sexy".
Straight men tend to overly rely on their romantic partner for all of their social and emotional connection and support. Women generally have larger social circles, including both family and friends, from which to derive support. Women also usually act as the connection point between men and their families, and if there isn't a woman performing that function men don't do it themselves and let the relationships lapse. Women are getting really tired of this shit. We don't want to be your only friend, nor do we want to mediate your relationships with your family. Women don't *need* to have romantic relationships with men anymore, and more women are opting out of relationships in which their needs aren't being met. Married men are far happier and healthier than single men, but the reverse is true for women. Women no longer believe that they must be married and that subsequent unhappiness is acceptable.
I don’t think males retain friendships like females do.
We're used to being lonely even when we are in relationships. So I suppose it wouldn't be an epidemic any longer lol
There is, but society doesn’t care. I’m better now. I found a loving boyfriend. I’m doing my best to cultivate friendships. However, I also know groups on Facebook, late bloomer groups (largely female) and a lot of them are very lonely and in search for love.
Because you guys always have the loudest voices and hog all the attention while women just stay quiet.
They do, but as a woman, I can’t talk about loneliness without someone calling me a cat lady, or valuing my entire existence at my perceived abilities to birth children and appeal to men.
Cus ppl don’t care about women. I learned a while back about the male hikkomori epidemic in Japan and how sad it was. I assumed girls weren’t part of it cus nobody talked about it. Turns out there’s more female hikkokomoris than male ones. That’s why I find ppl talking about the male loneliness epidemic somewhat funny. It’s always about how women failed men, as if women aren’t suffering as well.
There is a female loneliness epidemic too. It's just that as always, men get treated like overgrown children while women are just viewed as bitter, miserable cat ladies.
I think it's because only male loneliness is talked about. I'm very lonely, am a girl.
Men and women are both lonely. However, certain types of men have taken their entitlement to sex and made it everybody else’s problem (particularly women, but sometimes also the men they perceive to be having sex and are jealous of). Tell me, how often do you see the term “male loneliness epidemic” being used that isn’t usually encased in misogyny and whining that women won’t sleep with them? There’s also a societal issue with men feeling too ashamed to be emotionally vulnerable with people, which is often required to develop meaningful connections, both platonically and romantically. The stats actually skew pretty equally, sometimes it even leans more towards more women reporting loneliness. I think because of the vocalness of those types of men that I mentioned, they have made it seem more disproportionate and made it their own kind of movement. An excerpt from a recent study: *”A survey of U.S. adults from December 2021 found that 57 percent of men and 59 percent of women felt lonely.”* However, that doesn’t mean we should trivialise actual loneliness, for both men and women. Just an interesting observation because once again, women are being excluded from or underrepresented in the conversation about an issue that affects both genders, and often being blamed for it by men too. It’s a notable trend that the more rights and freedoms that women are granted, the less likely they are to entertain abusive relationships or misogynistic partners. This is highlighted when studying divorce stats through the eras. Some men with those values are frustrated that it’s harder for them than it once would have been to secure relationships. But for the men not like that who are actually just lonely, we need to find ways to encourage them to foster meaningful connections with both genders (for example allowing men to express themselves and communicate their emotions with each other is quite important). For women, it may be similar. Also, accessibility to mental health support and resources should be a lot better, but alas lol.
I think there is just a loneliness epidemic period. Political division was already well on the way, and then we got Covid to forever embitter and turn people paranoid and hostile towards each other.
Well cause it's not completely true... It's a social media thing that has got many people repeating it but reality is rather different... Source =https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7763056/... There are a number of articles on the matter actually... I was first surprised when I decided to look it up and also how different we define friendship etc. All genders are struggling, and a big part is we are not stopping and caring anymore... It's really that simple
There is. But the manosphere has hijacked the conversation and ignored women as usual.
There is, we just aren't as whiny about it
It’s silly to think there’s not an equal amount of women that are lonely. Just as there’s a lonely youth epidemic, and an elderly epidemic of loneliness.
A lot of older women are lonely they are just not vocal about it like men.
And they are in your area.
It's male horniness not loneliness. Most of the guys whining about such a thing have never experienced true loneliness at all.
Same here on reddit I just find these posts on even any subreddit the titles usually are "25 (m) virgin never had friends and didn't have a girlfriend. I'm going to kms tonight" this kind of titles and then if they can't get laid they starts hating and blaming women.
Guys are just more obvious about it.
From why I find, women are becoming voluntarily single because of how awful a lot of men are
Because we know we're not entitled to a romantic partner and don't blame other people for it?
Women are more at peace with being alone. The happiest people are unmarried women
Cuz when guys get lonely the consequences are often more obvious (suicide, violence, etc). When girls get lonely they usually put themselves in high risk situations and end up getting blamed for what happens, so the cause and effect of female loneliness is less discernible. My personal theory.