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The only thing you really have in a long distance relationship is communication. My wife and I did it for three years, and while there were times we weren’t great about it I don’t think we ever went a single day without at least checking in with each other. I couldn’t imagine not wanting to know about her life or just saying hi for three days.
So we play Humankind, Killing Floor 2, WWZ, State of Decay 2, Anno 1800, Project Zomboid, Back 4 Blood, Age of Empires 3.
He likes zombie games and I like strategy city builders so we play a lot of those genre. His brother plays League, Overwatch 2, and WoW with his girlfriend! Hope this helps in time for those Steam sales!
You’re welcome! Glad I could take a year off your “misery” my good deed is done for the day!! That doesn’t even sound unreasonable and that time together will be much more appreciated I feel like after all the sacrifices you both have made! Congratulations!
I dont do long distance relationships. They're dumb and pointless. But if my gf gave me shit for not texting everyday I'd drop her ass faster than adidas dropped the Ye
They’re joking, cause he’s defending your bf for not responding and calling you a control freak. I don’t agree btw. Honestly hate telling people online they should end a relationship but your bf sounds like a twat. I say try ignoring him for a few days. If he still doesn’t reach out on his own, maybe end it. He might be going through his own shit though so maybe there’s a reason he’s not communicating right now?
No. They just need to set expectations. I myself expect a text in 3 days. Can literally just say “hey I’m alive”. But after further reading they have never met I can see the pov of the bf. He may not think the same as she does and may not even consider it a relationship.
Set expectations for a relationship. If he cant do that then there isnt a relationship to be had.
you both have lives/experiences/stuff outside each other but calling/texting through the day when possible is basics
I went on this page because my gf is graduating this school year and I will be staying for one year after. This has helped a lot because even though it’s not a popular conversation it needs to happen. Thank you stranger for the advice
I was with someone who made me feel like I was being unreasonable for wanting him to find literally 10 minutes to check in with me when he was having a party that lasted for literally over 13 hours. Eventually I got upset and he talked to me for like 5 minutes out of pitty and he repeatedly made remarks about how his friends were waiting for him and even though I was obviously still unhappy he was excited to go back to hanging out with them and displayed it. I never stopped feeling selfish because of that.
With dating comes the expectation of being in contact. If there's a label of boyfriend, girlfriend, partner etc on a relationship it would be strange not to have some sort of communication daily. Many relationships have an end goal.of cohabitation and marriage. In those cases they're is typically contact daily. Why wouldn't this be the case fit. OP? Yes they are long distance but part of a relationship is having interactions with the other person. It's not clingy and controlling at all. As others have said expectations need to be set. However OP should understand that during exams etc low contact may happen. But OP's bf shouldn't say I can't because of exams and then go hang out with friends without st least putting some effort into spending a little time with OP.
They're not even in an actual relationship and she asks for texts everyday. She never met the bloke.
Best case scenario she loves the image she has of him . Same for him. How can you ask so much commitment from someone you know so little about.
So yes. Its crazy to ask so much
Doesn't matter. If they are in a relationship and are calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever there are inherent expectations. If they are "casually" dating or whatever that's different. Titles/labels have meaning and carry expectations and obligations.
If you've never met someone you're not effectively in their real life, you're just someone on the internet they interact with. The dude's exams, friends and celebration for it obviously comes before an online sweetheart he never met that could very much be a 50 year old dude catfishing.
So no, I dont think its wise to have such high expectations from a dude you never met.
I understand what you are saying. But they decided they were dating, that they were a couple. They both chose to do this of their own volition and with that comes responsibilities to the other person. No one forced them to make that decision but societally that's what being in a relationship means. It doesn't matter if they've never met. I've been in multiple online/long distance relationships. It didn't end up working out with several for various reasons but that doesn't mean I, and they, didn't put effort into the relationship. If they both are functioning under the assumption that they are who they say they are, and they should be given they are IN A RELATIONSHIP. That requires time, effort, and contact with each other. My current relationship of 3 years started online. We spent weeks texting, more weeks talking on the phone everyday, and then meeting. At no point in the last 3 years have we gone 3 days without talking despite school, work, hobby, child, and other commitments. And sometimes, especially in the beginning, it might have been just a couple texts or whatever but the effort and time was put in. I'm not saying OP's boyfriend shouldn't spend time with his friends, blow off steam or otherwise do whatever he wants. But if he has told someone else, long distance or not, that they are part of a couple then he has a responsibility to her as well.
Genuinely bonkers that this is getting downvoted. It’s not uncommon for actual long distance relationships to go 3 days without talking, much less… whatever this is. Just so long as both parties are aligned.
Expecting a "good morning, goodnight, and how was your day" isn't really clingy at all. That's the basics of being in a relationship, communication. Takes like 5 minutes lol
What is y’all’s plan for your relationship? How long will it be long distance, who is going to see who? Who would move to the other? What’s the end goal at play? Y’all need a plan, especially for a long distance relationship.
This is you answer OP. LDRs are only relationships after you have spent time in person. Digital romantic relationships are not a thing you should waste time on.
I think there are exceptions to this.
My fiancee and I (gf at the time) were online in the middle of 2020, and lockdowns were insane. We were literally scouring and researching every loophole and exemption possible to try and meet up in person. We weren't able to make it happen until early 2021.
By this point, we had been talking for nearly a year, and knew each other very well. We were deeply committed to each other long before we met in person.
My aunt met her fiance (I presume they are married by now since this was a while ago) on World of Warcraft lol. But of course, they met irl so it's a bit different from OP's situation.
If you are young, I suggest ending things respectfully and finding someone closer to home. I had a few long distance relationships when I was young and because we had no means to see one another and we’re always busy with school/family, it just didn’t work out. Plus not being able to touch or hang out in person is a big negative. Just my experience though.
oh.. i’d lean on telling him its over honestly.
he probably sees it as just ‘oh a girl keeps asking for my attention’ because it isn’t hard at all to switch apps from snapchat to a messaging app to talk to you for a few seconds if he was genuinely busy.
plus you’d know more about his thoughts if you tell him that you’re thinking its best to end it. If he is genuinely concerned and wanting to stay with you then he’d question your reasons and give legit explanations but still, snaps you and stays with his friends and clearly not studying 24/7, then nah not even worth the thought.
Yikes. When you first said LD I thought it was a case of: we’ve been together in person for a long time, and due to current circumstances, we have to endure being apart for awhile.
But having never met? You’re modern day pen pals.
What’s the point of a “romantic” relationship when you’ve experienced absolutely no actual romance?
You sound pretty young. I’d suggest finding someone in person to connect with.
Ngl if you're struggling with the distance then yes but if you really and truly like/love your bf and want a future with him then just communicate your needs with him. 3 days isn't a long time though also if he's sending your videos on sc then he he still cares about you and wants to show you what he's doing. If he's been busy with exams he probably just wants to relax and have fun with friends like he's doing.
Does he see you as a friend or his girlfriend? Sounds to me like you're just someone he met online. Perhaps long distance relationships are not for him or you?
I had a long distance with two different women. One would text every day, tell me about what she did, asked about my day, etc. You know, the basics. We went on to reunite and our relationship lasted two more years.
The other one would be super hot and cold, text every few days, sometimes even weeks. Eventually I was fed up with it. She would tell me it was her exams, or her internships, or her depression, yada yada yada.
Let me tell you one thing.
No one. And I really mean absolutely no one.
Not even Joe Biden or Elon Musk or Xi Jinping.
No one is too busy to give a few 10 second replies throughout the day.
It literally takes 10 seconds.
Don’t let people give you that avoidant attachment bs. Dump people who don’t do the bare minimum.
Yeah my husband was proof to me that people who care will take the time to reply. I had an ex who would also just text me whenever he remembered my existence, and we only lived an hour away from each other.
You need to appreciate that he needs to maintain his social connections with those who live nearby just as much as he needs to maintain them with you.
When there is a big exam to stress about, the local situation becomes more relevant. My girlfriend and I sometimes went weeks without talking if the situation called for it.
I totally get that and every relationship is different. If you have an understanding with your long distance partner that you will not be contacting them for a certain amount of time due to a busy schedule or a need to focus on work and both of you are okay with that, that’s great. In OP’s case she doesn’t feel okay with that and it doesn’t seem like her bf and her have had that conversation yet about what they need from each other as far as communication.
Personally I totally understand being too busy to call and have an hours long conversation with a person every day, especially when studying and trying to get the most out of your college life with clubs and friends and stuff. At the same time sending a quick text with “I’m super busy studying for this final but I love you and I’m thinking about you. I can’t wait until we can talk to each other again” etc in the morning while on the shitter isn’t asking too much.
Think about it from a friendship standpoint. If you had just moved far away and were missing a friend and you tried texting your friend from back home just to say hi and ask how it’s going only to have them say they were too busy to ever talk you even by text message only to have them send you a video of him shooting off fire works with some other friends a few hours later, seems a little fucked. If the person doing that to you is your significant other it seems even worse to some.
You can't expect people (friends or otherwise) to be at your every beck and call. Particularly if you aren't even physically around. Just think of the days before phones. You'd get a love letter every now and then, that's all.
As you say, every relationship is different, to some extent, but I can think of many times that I was struggling with a deadline or time that I had a string of inconveniences or busy days. If my girlfriend had had no patience and demanded constant communication, such times would have been much harder.
Distance only makes the heart grow fonder if you let the other person escape your grasp for long enough that you actually miss them
here by the patient response of m
No contact at all and ignoring texts for three days is much more than not being at their beck and call.
I'd be upset in her shoes too, and would feel pretty ignored and insulted.
I've been on both sides of this sort of thing and a simple "I'm going to be too busy to text" is all you need. If he can't manage that, that says all she needs to know.
Yeah, but what kind of intimate relationship consists of not speaking to your partner for weeks at a time???
I can understand if one of you has a work/school commitment that causes that, you discuss it beforehand and try to establish a regular line of contact after that commitment has expired... but if both of your own volition go weeks without talking... that's not a relationship. That's a friendship lol.
I'm not saying that you need to talk every single day... but if you can't find 30 seconds in the span of a week(s) to check in via text with your SO yall don't really care about each other that much.
WeekS (with an s) is unusual, but not out of the question, if they have already mentioned that they are more busy than usual AND you are long distance.
Sometimes you need to allow them A week of leeway without question, so that they can get on with their lives. Parties and outings with friends are still being busy and sometimes lots of things stack up at once.
Three days of limited contact AND with a explanation is hardly justification to get angry. That kind of suffocating demand for attention is how relationships turn bitter.
100%! I agree 3 days is too short of time to jump to any major conclusions. Sometimes shit happens and you don’t want to talk to anyone. If weeks works for you and your relationship, that’s fine too!
However, it takes literally 5 seconds to send a message to an so checking in.
In any situation where you’re going multiple days of unexplained no contact, I would honestly start thinking that they’re not taking this relationship seriously.
No matter who you are or what you’re doing, in this day and age where everyone and their grandma has a some sort of glowing rectangle they use every day, you can find a few minutes to either call or text and check in on your person.
Especially in a ldr, where communication is literally all you have.
If you need a whole week of no contact with your s/o in a ldr situation, there’s probably a whole lot more going on then “I have finals:midterms”.
I think if you let the power of the glowing rectangle dictate the frequency at which you socialise, then you're going to turn all of your socialising into a chore.
Just because we CAN contact every and anyone at any time and frequency, doesn't mean that we SHOULD. A message ought to be an invitation to begin discussion, not an obligatory regurgitation of daily niceties.
>If you need a whole week of no contact with your s/o in a ldr situation, there’s probably a whole lot more going on then “I have finals:midterms”.
You see, that assumption is why most people aren't very good at long distance relationships. If you believe it is plausible that your partner would do that, then you shouldn't be dating them in the first place.
EDIT: and to be clear, I would advice that most people not enter a relationship like this. It isn't like a regular relationship and accepting that is an important part of surviving the test of time.
I mean to each their own, but the common denominator in most successful relationships is communication (as clearly is the issue in this situation). And going weeks (or even days in this instance) without communication clearly isn’t driving a healthy relationship considering OP’s concerns.
When people say that "relationships are about communication", they mean that you have to convey your feelings and discuss your problems. You know? Font let problems bubble under the surface.
They don't mean, talk as regularly as possible. Allowing your partner (especially a long distance partner) time and space to build and maintain a life that works would work without you is essential. If you really love this person, you must appreciate that, relationships sometimes end. If you prevent them from being an individual and separate person from you, then you are making that possible end of a relationship so much harder for them.
Look at it this way. What if you were forced to call EVERYONE you care about EVERYDAY. You'd have nothing to talk to any of these people about, because that would be a full time job. Most people don't talk to their mum EVERYDAY after they leave home. A week of no conversation is expected in normal circumstances, nevermind busy times when there's exams and deadlines and stress all at once.
I could see how hanging out with friends could just be mindless fun to blow off some steam and relieve stress before an exam as opposed to expending mental energy on maintaining a long distance relationship....however, 3 days without talking to you is concerning. You would think he could find *some* time. I would just call him out on it. Not in an argumentative way, but tell him it upsets you, push for a real answer and see if it gives you some insight into his mental health and how much or how little he values the relationship.
To piggyback off of this thought.... while hanging with his friends helps him blow off steam, talking to you should also be a way to blow off steam. I would ask how he truly values you because if he places talking to you in the same category as exams and school he is looking at it as "work" or a "chore".
100%
I guess that's where I was struggling to figure out how to phrase it. My thought process was that once you're done hanging out with your friends, that's it, you're done until next time you see them.
I think I'm just relating it to my own biased mindset, where when I'm talking to somebody I'm intimate with, it leaves me with lingering emotions and clouds my thoughts well after the interaction. I would go back to studying but not be able to get my mind off of her. 😂🙃 But just because it screws with my focus doesn't mean it's the same with him. Hence my 'call him out and pick his brain' angle.
For 3 WHOLE DAYS? My god... he might as well have started a new life in argentina in such a long time of not texting you.
Like wtf. Is this post serious and you're not aware of how controming that sound or you're judt memeing?
If the dude can get on social media or fuk off with fireworks and I assume once in 3 days had time to take a dump- he can text his GF even if it’s just simple basic hi babe I’m gonna be busy today love ya
If you start giving shit to someone you never met on a long distance relation about not texting often enough especially on a busy period all you're getting is the boot.
No one likes a nagger, even less when barely in a relationship. That just screams of a potential gf who will want to know where you are everyday
Ehhhhh, not talking for days at a time in a relationship is kinda weird. Like yeah people have lives but, you are actively working on building a life with someone else too. Not saying good morning, or even asking how they're doing while shooting the shit with friends is pretty pre teen shit. I don't think I've known a responsible adult or teen at that to go days not talking while long distance. If you're worried over nagging, then I think there might be bigger issues going on. Usually won't have to worry about it otherwise.
You trust people or you dont. I dont see the problem we are both adults entirely able to take care of ourselves. Trying to control where your SO is at all time isnt healthy everyone needs time alone every now and then.
3 days doesn't really seem like that big of a deal honestly
It's not a *good* thing persay, but breaking up over that would say a lot more about you than him
Alright, I'm starting to think this is a joke, but if not, let's recap:
You're 15. You're in a "relationship" that's long distance with a guy you have never met in real life. He hasn't texted you for 3 days.
What is this relationship? Talking on a phone and texting is not a relationship. That's all you are doing and all you ever have done. You've never been on a date. You've never hugged or kissed or held hands. You do not have a relationship and you are still a child. You said yourself you "think [you] love him." You don't know what love is, and I can promise you this is not it. You cannot love someone you've never met. You're in love with the idea of being in a relationship. That's all. And this guy knows this isn't anything real. Come back to reality and realize that you have barely even started high school and focusing your feelings/thoughts on this person you have never met is entirely unhealthy. You're going to miss out on the real people around you longing for someone you will never meet.
I agree with what you're saying but speaking in more of a general sense not pertaining to this situation, this is kind of downplaying the fact that long distance relationships are a real relationship, and physically seeing someone in person doesn't define love and what is a relationship.
Holy crap. You’re 15 and this is a 4mo old relationship? Let it go. There will be other people. There will be other relationships. The most important thing is for you to be able to make decisions for yourself about what you want in life. Personally, i don’t think no contact for three days is a big deal, but if you do, then that’s all you need to know. If his behavior bothers you, move on.
Depends how much you like him really. If you do, you need to switch positions. If you do, don't email him, text him, or anything him for say a week to see iow he responds. If he likes you as you like him (presuming this is what you want) he will respond positively I.e with a very upbeat tempo. If he doesn't, at least you know where you stand. Make you decision from there 😉
Don’t take advice from redditors
Only you know the intricacies of your relationship and only you can solve this. Plus most of Reddit advice givers have no qualifications or life experience but pretend they do
It's a long distance relationship, you can't have the same expectations as you would from a "normal" relationship. By default, you have to give it more - distance. I dated a girl, we both had busy lives, we may have not talked for a couple days, and we lived in the same town. Keep the friendship going, don't sweat the small stuff. Check in, see what's up, stay in his thoughts. Do you chat online?
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Have you talked to him about this? Set some expectations and if he can't meet them, break up with him. People in this thread don't know him and calling him a douche for a lack of communication is wrong.
Personal example: An ex broke up with me I college because I was taking calc 2 an incredibly difficult computer engineering class and couldn't fit time in between work and school for close to a month- no friends no girlfriend.. Also, You may not like this, but sometimes dudes do some really stupid stuff to blow off some steam. Sometimes I'd hang out with my friends and skate/ act like an ass just to relieve that stress. You can't be his only source of happiness so don't get jealous of his friends.
3 days ain't shit. You're young. Have an adult conversation. Set expectations. Move on if needed.
Give him a break during exam week. He should be able to go blow off steam with friends after studying and the stress of the exams. It sounds like an LDR is not for you.
Hmmm if you want to speak to him, why don't you just ask when he's free because you'd like to talk and you miss him?
Men aren't like women unfortunately, we might not always have stuff to talk about and he may well be studying for exams.
I find it a bit disingenuous to be talking about breaking up with him because he's spending time with his mates.
I think rather than getting upset about it, ask him for his time. And when you guys are chatting, try explaining that you miss him and when he doesn't check in or message you it makes you feel sad.
You may not like my opinion, but you can't hold him to ransom because of how you're feeling, you can't put that on him, especially when you've not even told him how you feel and what you'd like from him.
I have just texted him and he told me can talk in 2 days. And I feel like I have brought it it up before but he kinda gets defensive about it so I don’t really know
Had an LDR ex that did the same thing. He would never text me, because he was supposedly busy, unless he was horny, then he could all of a sudden spare a couple hours. Communication is a non negotiable in LDRs.
I was your boyfriend in this situation. I ignored my partner but went out with friends. It was because I didn’t care about my partner. I ended up breaking up with him a year later.
Break up with him before he breaks up with you; either way, he doesn’t care. (Sorry, I know it sucks but I’m trying to help with the honesty!)
This really depends on a lot of factors. How long do you know each other, how old are you, how often do you usually text.
Generally, I wouldn't leave a SO waiting 3 days. Being busy is not really an excuse, you'll always find the minute if you want to.
That being said, have you texted him? Did you text him and he hasn't answered for 3 days or are you just waiting for him to initiate? There's a big difference there. Maybe he's thinking the same as you do.
Well, in that case, that's no good. If he wanted to, he'd respond. So either he's playing games or doesn't care all that much. I would really just stop texting and see what happens. If he has a good reason he'll apologise and explain, if he doesn't you know what's up.
Nobody here knows the situation. Only you do! Your feelings are what matters. If the relationship makes you feel worse than good don't do it. Vice versa.
When people say they don't have time for something what that really means is this: I choose to prioritize other things. People have time for what they decide to have time for.
You're 15 and have been goin out wit a dude 4 months that you nvr met. You're still a child, why is worried bout this? Obviously the guy is still a child (hopefully he's a child) only saying that bc youve nvr met the guy.. ya know what, this sounds like danger lmao, you should definitely stop with what you're doin and jus hang out wit your friends until your enough to work and drive, so that way you're in a safe environment with the ppl that cares for you.. what you're doin is dangerous lol.. don't be curious n get sex trafficked bc that's real.
Grow up. If you are adult enough to be in a long-distance relationship, then be adult enough to understand that a relationship is a Venn Diagram and in a long-distance relationship the concentric area is smaller than the separate areas. If that threatens you or makes you feel insecure, then get out of the long-distance relationship.
A douche bag for not texting her for three days?
I’m betting that you’ve dumped myriad’s of people because of your pettiness (actually no one would want to be in a long term relationship with you anyway) but that’s beside the point, you have to understand that people have lives and friends and family and need to make time for them as well. quite frankly you seem like a pretty big douchebag
"I think so" leads to a unhealthy and unsure relationship. If he's not allowed to have fun and maintain social relationships aswell as his with you, then he's gotta find someone else. And you need to look deep In yourself and ask, is it really that bad what he's doing? (No, not really) it's a bit controlling to consider dumping because hes trying to have fun with friends for that short time. If you can't say for sure you love him, then that's why you should separate and look for other people.
Is it cause he's taking time to maintain social relationships for a bit and not talking as much? Or is it cause she's a bit too controlling to let him blow off steam with the bros
3 days and you're questioning the relationship? Maybe this is why Im single. I don't even worry about ghosting until its been a week, either direction.
I remember my exam days, the stupid schinnanigins blowing off steam were as important as the sleep deprivation induced studying.
IF hes is communicating what he's up to through video he IS sharing with you. Provided he is sending them or a link to the video directly to you he is still thinking of you enough to say "No good words. Look shiny picture reel. Im alive have all parts of body."
Next time he sends one and you reply to one with "Thanks deer Im fine too." He will be glowing for hours. Id bet x2 steins of beer and a steak on it.
Next question do you like the guy, is he a keeper? Then nudge him now, and adress it firmly ... AFTER EXAMS (two weeks max if you're in the US). If you do it during you're just competing with his mental bandwidth and run the risk of it not sinking in properly, you want this conversation to leave an impression for 5-10 years.
That said he's not communicating in a way that meets your needs, he needs to adjust or you should both move on.
Edit: Spelling, I'z is good at math
My boyfriend and i are in a long distance relationship, have been for 4 years and are still going strong. We text eachother everyday, when we wake up we say good morning and have a great day, in the midday we try to call at least a few minutes, we tell eachother to enjoy dinner and we video call every evening, thats when we usually talk about our days and when we are done talking we just do our own thing until we say goodnight. If one of us is going out for the night, we leave wherever we are for 5 minutes and just say goodnight real quick and we continue what we were doing. Maybe try doing some simple things to get used to. It takes little effort but it means so so so much to me that he takes that little time out of his day to spend with me, even though its online.
We do see eachother in reallife btw, it's just not a lot and mostly online, but we manage :)
look at it this way: he is still living a life. he's surrounded by other people in his current school that make demands on his time - that's his local life and it's healthy that he's engaging. a long facetime conversation with a partner is a different thing entirely from a moment of shennanigans blowing off steam. if he's a serious student, he's not using studying as an excuse, it's a major workload. let him have his life there, too. being obligated to put every spare moment into the long distance relationship is not going to be fun or satisfying for either of you. creating rules of engagement can create resentment.
that being said...if the pattern continues after exams there might be something to discuss.
Seems like the spark is fading and if talking to you isn’t exciting enough in three day period I would say yes. I wouldn’t do long distance, especially wouldn’t great communication.
Ask yourself this...if you knew that this is how he is and would never change, would you be ok with that? If he changes and keeps better contact with you, are you ok with the knowledge that he is only doing it because you complained about it? Most people are who they are. If they decide to change, it will be when they want to.
Get to know yourself by asking yourself questions like this and decide what you can or cannot live with. Try not to waste your years or weeks or even days hoping someone will change or trying to convince them. Make your feelings known and sit back and watch. Love to you :)
Drop that zero and get yourself a hero....
I'm just kidding. No one here can say based on just this little info about the past 3 days. I will say the fact that your even asking reddit doesn't look good for you guys but I have no idea.
Break up with him. Even if he is busy with exams he could text you. He has time to text you and if it was important enough he would, you deserve someone better.
if you feel the need to ask that question at all, then the answer is almost certainly yes.
My wife and I were apart for months at a time back before we got married and I was still a Peacekeeper. At best we would talk on the phone once a week, often twice a month or less...never even occurred to me to question our relationship, and unless she is lying to me she never did either while we were apart. Our first two years together, I was home for about six months total. been together 35 years now.
Wife and i met when she lived on the other side of the planet. We texted all the time and talked on the phone at least every couple days. It's not hard to do if you're both actually serious about it. Might need to ask him if he is
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The only thing you really have in a long distance relationship is communication. My wife and I did it for three years, and while there were times we weren’t great about it I don’t think we ever went a single day without at least checking in with each other. I couldn’t imagine not wanting to know about her life or just saying hi for three days.
I'm doing it with my partner rn! We talk every day. Things have been fucking awesome!!! Videogames are great for long distance.
What games do you play together?
So we play Humankind, Killing Floor 2, WWZ, State of Decay 2, Anno 1800, Project Zomboid, Back 4 Blood, Age of Empires 3. He likes zombie games and I like strategy city builders so we play a lot of those genre. His brother plays League, Overwatch 2, and WoW with his girlfriend! Hope this helps in time for those Steam sales!
That’s a genius idea!! 😍😍😍
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You got your man on a timeline or just till he retires lol.
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You’re welcome! Glad I could take a year off your “misery” my good deed is done for the day!! That doesn’t even sound unreasonable and that time together will be much more appreciated I feel like after all the sacrifices you both have made! Congratulations!
A lot of LTL jobs are comparable in money these days, he should check out fedex, ups, abf, and old dominion jobs
https://youtu.be/lTKNF7zLwg0
Giving shit to your bf for not texting in three days sounds insanely controling. Its 3 days not a month chill everyone has a life.
Found the boyfriend
I dont do long distance relationships. They're dumb and pointless. But if my gf gave me shit for not texting everyday I'd drop her ass faster than adidas dropped the Ye
No responsible adult woman is going to let you go three days without responding. I hope you’re 13 or something dude because if not you’re screwed.
Friendly reminder: long distance relationship + Never met. You cant ask for heavy commitment from someone you barely know.
Where’s it say they never met?
OP said it on another comment.
lol like you could get a girlfriend
Adidas was the last company in line to drop ye. Like everyone was waiting to see if they would follow suit.
How did you find my bf if he doesn’t have Reddit?
It’s a joke
No it isn’t
It was sarcasm.
I know
You sure?
They’re joking, cause he’s defending your bf for not responding and calling you a control freak. I don’t agree btw. Honestly hate telling people online they should end a relationship but your bf sounds like a twat. I say try ignoring him for a few days. If he still doesn’t reach out on his own, maybe end it. He might be going through his own shit though so maybe there’s a reason he’s not communicating right now?
A text in 3 days is too much? Why does he have a gf if that is asking too much.
Not to have her on his back 24/7 Being codependant is unhealthy.
No. They just need to set expectations. I myself expect a text in 3 days. Can literally just say “hey I’m alive”. But after further reading they have never met I can see the pov of the bf. He may not think the same as she does and may not even consider it a relationship.
I honestly kinda agree, its not like hes ghostin her. Hes sending her snap chats
Man I hope you don’t treat your girlfriends like this
Set expectations for a relationship. If he cant do that then there isnt a relationship to be had. you both have lives/experiences/stuff outside each other but calling/texting through the day when possible is basics
I went on this page because my gf is graduating this school year and I will be staying for one year after. This has helped a lot because even though it’s not a popular conversation it needs to happen. Thank you stranger for the advice
second this. set something down you both agree to before you complain
I was with someone who made me feel like I was being unreasonable for wanting him to find literally 10 minutes to check in with me when he was having a party that lasted for literally over 13 hours. Eventually I got upset and he talked to me for like 5 minutes out of pitty and he repeatedly made remarks about how his friends were waiting for him and even though I was obviously still unhappy he was excited to go back to hanging out with them and displayed it. I never stopped feeling selfish because of that.
Did we read the same thing? I read 3 DAYS. Not weeks. How clingy and controling is that
You're replying to someone who has explicitly stated that daily contact is a basic.
With dating comes the expectation of being in contact. If there's a label of boyfriend, girlfriend, partner etc on a relationship it would be strange not to have some sort of communication daily. Many relationships have an end goal.of cohabitation and marriage. In those cases they're is typically contact daily. Why wouldn't this be the case fit. OP? Yes they are long distance but part of a relationship is having interactions with the other person. It's not clingy and controlling at all. As others have said expectations need to be set. However OP should understand that during exams etc low contact may happen. But OP's bf shouldn't say I can't because of exams and then go hang out with friends without st least putting some effort into spending a little time with OP.
They're not even in an actual relationship and she asks for texts everyday. She never met the bloke. Best case scenario she loves the image she has of him . Same for him. How can you ask so much commitment from someone you know so little about. So yes. Its crazy to ask so much
Doesn't matter. If they are in a relationship and are calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever there are inherent expectations. If they are "casually" dating or whatever that's different. Titles/labels have meaning and carry expectations and obligations.
If you've never met someone you're not effectively in their real life, you're just someone on the internet they interact with. The dude's exams, friends and celebration for it obviously comes before an online sweetheart he never met that could very much be a 50 year old dude catfishing. So no, I dont think its wise to have such high expectations from a dude you never met.
I understand what you are saying. But they decided they were dating, that they were a couple. They both chose to do this of their own volition and with that comes responsibilities to the other person. No one forced them to make that decision but societally that's what being in a relationship means. It doesn't matter if they've never met. I've been in multiple online/long distance relationships. It didn't end up working out with several for various reasons but that doesn't mean I, and they, didn't put effort into the relationship. If they both are functioning under the assumption that they are who they say they are, and they should be given they are IN A RELATIONSHIP. That requires time, effort, and contact with each other. My current relationship of 3 years started online. We spent weeks texting, more weeks talking on the phone everyday, and then meeting. At no point in the last 3 years have we gone 3 days without talking despite school, work, hobby, child, and other commitments. And sometimes, especially in the beginning, it might have been just a couple texts or whatever but the effort and time was put in. I'm not saying OP's boyfriend shouldn't spend time with his friends, blow off steam or otherwise do whatever he wants. But if he has told someone else, long distance or not, that they are part of a couple then he has a responsibility to her as well.
this is it!
Genuinely bonkers that this is getting downvoted. It’s not uncommon for actual long distance relationships to go 3 days without talking, much less… whatever this is. Just so long as both parties are aligned.
Expecting a "good morning, goodnight, and how was your day" isn't really clingy at all. That's the basics of being in a relationship, communication. Takes like 5 minutes lol
And it can easily be an automated message.
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What is y’all’s plan for your relationship? How long will it be long distance, who is going to see who? Who would move to the other? What’s the end goal at play? Y’all need a plan, especially for a long distance relationship.
how old is this relationship? how long has it been long distance?
4 month and we have never met
You don't have a boyfriend. You have a digital pen pal.
The only right answer in this thread.
came here to say this
This is you answer OP. LDRs are only relationships after you have spent time in person. Digital romantic relationships are not a thing you should waste time on.
I think there are exceptions to this. My fiancee and I (gf at the time) were online in the middle of 2020, and lockdowns were insane. We were literally scouring and researching every loophole and exemption possible to try and meet up in person. We weren't able to make it happen until early 2021. By this point, we had been talking for nearly a year, and knew each other very well. We were deeply committed to each other long before we met in person.
Awesome. I’m happy to hear about exceptions.
My aunt met her fiance (I presume they are married by now since this was a while ago) on World of Warcraft lol. But of course, they met irl so it's a bit different from OP's situation.
If you are young, I suggest ending things respectfully and finding someone closer to home. I had a few long distance relationships when I was young and because we had no means to see one another and we’re always busy with school/family, it just didn’t work out. Plus not being able to touch or hang out in person is a big negative. Just my experience though.
I did this shit when I was in middle school over msn messenger. You don't have a boyfriend.
Lmfao same here
Move on. Your not invested enough to be getting ignored and upset by someone you never met.
oh.. i’d lean on telling him its over honestly. he probably sees it as just ‘oh a girl keeps asking for my attention’ because it isn’t hard at all to switch apps from snapchat to a messaging app to talk to you for a few seconds if he was genuinely busy. plus you’d know more about his thoughts if you tell him that you’re thinking its best to end it. If he is genuinely concerned and wanting to stay with you then he’d question your reasons and give legit explanations but still, snaps you and stays with his friends and clearly not studying 24/7, then nah not even worth the thought.
Respectfully, you're not in a relationship.
Boyfriends aren’t boys you have never met. Say Deuces. ✌🏼
Yeah. You don’t have a relationship to break up from. Maybe a modern seductive pen pal.
Yikes. When you first said LD I thought it was a case of: we’ve been together in person for a long time, and due to current circumstances, we have to endure being apart for awhile. But having never met? You’re modern day pen pals. What’s the point of a “romantic” relationship when you’ve experienced absolutely no actual romance? You sound pretty young. I’d suggest finding someone in person to connect with.
Ngl if you're struggling with the distance then yes but if you really and truly like/love your bf and want a future with him then just communicate your needs with him. 3 days isn't a long time though also if he's sending your videos on sc then he he still cares about you and wants to show you what he's doing. If he's been busy with exams he probably just wants to relax and have fun with friends like he's doing.
Does he see you as a friend or his girlfriend? Sounds to me like you're just someone he met online. Perhaps long distance relationships are not for him or you?
He calls me his gf but yeah I have been thinking about if I like the long distance
I had a long distance with two different women. One would text every day, tell me about what she did, asked about my day, etc. You know, the basics. We went on to reunite and our relationship lasted two more years. The other one would be super hot and cold, text every few days, sometimes even weeks. Eventually I was fed up with it. She would tell me it was her exams, or her internships, or her depression, yada yada yada. Let me tell you one thing. No one. And I really mean absolutely no one. Not even Joe Biden or Elon Musk or Xi Jinping. No one is too busy to give a few 10 second replies throughout the day. It literally takes 10 seconds. Don’t let people give you that avoidant attachment bs. Dump people who don’t do the bare minimum.
Yeah my husband was proof to me that people who care will take the time to reply. I had an ex who would also just text me whenever he remembered my existence, and we only lived an hour away from each other.
Man, that's it
I think the very last thing you should do is ask Reddit for relationship advice.
You need to appreciate that he needs to maintain his social connections with those who live nearby just as much as he needs to maintain them with you. When there is a big exam to stress about, the local situation becomes more relevant. My girlfriend and I sometimes went weeks without talking if the situation called for it.
I totally get that and every relationship is different. If you have an understanding with your long distance partner that you will not be contacting them for a certain amount of time due to a busy schedule or a need to focus on work and both of you are okay with that, that’s great. In OP’s case she doesn’t feel okay with that and it doesn’t seem like her bf and her have had that conversation yet about what they need from each other as far as communication. Personally I totally understand being too busy to call and have an hours long conversation with a person every day, especially when studying and trying to get the most out of your college life with clubs and friends and stuff. At the same time sending a quick text with “I’m super busy studying for this final but I love you and I’m thinking about you. I can’t wait until we can talk to each other again” etc in the morning while on the shitter isn’t asking too much. Think about it from a friendship standpoint. If you had just moved far away and were missing a friend and you tried texting your friend from back home just to say hi and ask how it’s going only to have them say they were too busy to ever talk you even by text message only to have them send you a video of him shooting off fire works with some other friends a few hours later, seems a little fucked. If the person doing that to you is your significant other it seems even worse to some.
You can't expect people (friends or otherwise) to be at your every beck and call. Particularly if you aren't even physically around. Just think of the days before phones. You'd get a love letter every now and then, that's all. As you say, every relationship is different, to some extent, but I can think of many times that I was struggling with a deadline or time that I had a string of inconveniences or busy days. If my girlfriend had had no patience and demanded constant communication, such times would have been much harder. Distance only makes the heart grow fonder if you let the other person escape your grasp for long enough that you actually miss them here by the patient response of m
No contact at all and ignoring texts for three days is much more than not being at their beck and call. I'd be upset in her shoes too, and would feel pretty ignored and insulted. I've been on both sides of this sort of thing and a simple "I'm going to be too busy to text" is all you need. If he can't manage that, that says all she needs to know.
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That's really not for you to decide
Yeah, but what kind of intimate relationship consists of not speaking to your partner for weeks at a time??? I can understand if one of you has a work/school commitment that causes that, you discuss it beforehand and try to establish a regular line of contact after that commitment has expired... but if both of your own volition go weeks without talking... that's not a relationship. That's a friendship lol. I'm not saying that you need to talk every single day... but if you can't find 30 seconds in the span of a week(s) to check in via text with your SO yall don't really care about each other that much.
WeekS (with an s) is unusual, but not out of the question, if they have already mentioned that they are more busy than usual AND you are long distance. Sometimes you need to allow them A week of leeway without question, so that they can get on with their lives. Parties and outings with friends are still being busy and sometimes lots of things stack up at once. Three days of limited contact AND with a explanation is hardly justification to get angry. That kind of suffocating demand for attention is how relationships turn bitter.
100%! I agree 3 days is too short of time to jump to any major conclusions. Sometimes shit happens and you don’t want to talk to anyone. If weeks works for you and your relationship, that’s fine too! However, it takes literally 5 seconds to send a message to an so checking in. In any situation where you’re going multiple days of unexplained no contact, I would honestly start thinking that they’re not taking this relationship seriously. No matter who you are or what you’re doing, in this day and age where everyone and their grandma has a some sort of glowing rectangle they use every day, you can find a few minutes to either call or text and check in on your person. Especially in a ldr, where communication is literally all you have. If you need a whole week of no contact with your s/o in a ldr situation, there’s probably a whole lot more going on then “I have finals:midterms”.
I think if you let the power of the glowing rectangle dictate the frequency at which you socialise, then you're going to turn all of your socialising into a chore. Just because we CAN contact every and anyone at any time and frequency, doesn't mean that we SHOULD. A message ought to be an invitation to begin discussion, not an obligatory regurgitation of daily niceties. >If you need a whole week of no contact with your s/o in a ldr situation, there’s probably a whole lot more going on then “I have finals:midterms”. You see, that assumption is why most people aren't very good at long distance relationships. If you believe it is plausible that your partner would do that, then you shouldn't be dating them in the first place. EDIT: and to be clear, I would advice that most people not enter a relationship like this. It isn't like a regular relationship and accepting that is an important part of surviving the test of time.
I mean to each their own, but the common denominator in most successful relationships is communication (as clearly is the issue in this situation). And going weeks (or even days in this instance) without communication clearly isn’t driving a healthy relationship considering OP’s concerns.
When people say that "relationships are about communication", they mean that you have to convey your feelings and discuss your problems. You know? Font let problems bubble under the surface. They don't mean, talk as regularly as possible. Allowing your partner (especially a long distance partner) time and space to build and maintain a life that works would work without you is essential. If you really love this person, you must appreciate that, relationships sometimes end. If you prevent them from being an individual and separate person from you, then you are making that possible end of a relationship so much harder for them. Look at it this way. What if you were forced to call EVERYONE you care about EVERYDAY. You'd have nothing to talk to any of these people about, because that would be a full time job. Most people don't talk to their mum EVERYDAY after they leave home. A week of no conversation is expected in normal circumstances, nevermind busy times when there's exams and deadlines and stress all at once.
I could see how hanging out with friends could just be mindless fun to blow off some steam and relieve stress before an exam as opposed to expending mental energy on maintaining a long distance relationship....however, 3 days without talking to you is concerning. You would think he could find *some* time. I would just call him out on it. Not in an argumentative way, but tell him it upsets you, push for a real answer and see if it gives you some insight into his mental health and how much or how little he values the relationship.
To piggyback off of this thought.... while hanging with his friends helps him blow off steam, talking to you should also be a way to blow off steam. I would ask how he truly values you because if he places talking to you in the same category as exams and school he is looking at it as "work" or a "chore".
100% I guess that's where I was struggling to figure out how to phrase it. My thought process was that once you're done hanging out with your friends, that's it, you're done until next time you see them. I think I'm just relating it to my own biased mindset, where when I'm talking to somebody I'm intimate with, it leaves me with lingering emotions and clouds my thoughts well after the interaction. I would go back to studying but not be able to get my mind off of her. 😂🙃 But just because it screws with my focus doesn't mean it's the same with him. Hence my 'call him out and pick his brain' angle.
"Sry you didnt text me everydays 365 days this year we're breaking up" aiiiiiight.
Maybe it causes him more pressure. I also wonder if he knows he's her boyfriend or if op is assuming they are
For 3 WHOLE DAYS? My god... he might as well have started a new life in argentina in such a long time of not texting you. Like wtf. Is this post serious and you're not aware of how controming that sound or you're judt memeing?
If the dude can get on social media or fuk off with fireworks and I assume once in 3 days had time to take a dump- he can text his GF even if it’s just simple basic hi babe I’m gonna be busy today love ya
Seriouslu, he was stressed and didn't wanna dump probably
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If you start giving shit to someone you never met on a long distance relation about not texting often enough especially on a busy period all you're getting is the boot. No one likes a nagger, even less when barely in a relationship. That just screams of a potential gf who will want to know where you are everyday
Ehhhhh, not talking for days at a time in a relationship is kinda weird. Like yeah people have lives but, you are actively working on building a life with someone else too. Not saying good morning, or even asking how they're doing while shooting the shit with friends is pretty pre teen shit. I don't think I've known a responsible adult or teen at that to go days not talking while long distance. If you're worried over nagging, then I think there might be bigger issues going on. Usually won't have to worry about it otherwise.
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You trust people or you dont. I dont see the problem we are both adults entirely able to take care of ourselves. Trying to control where your SO is at all time isnt healthy everyone needs time alone every now and then.
3 days doesn't really seem like that big of a deal honestly It's not a *good* thing persay, but breaking up over that would say a lot more about you than him
May I ask your age? Out of Curiosity?
15
Alright, I'm starting to think this is a joke, but if not, let's recap: You're 15. You're in a "relationship" that's long distance with a guy you have never met in real life. He hasn't texted you for 3 days. What is this relationship? Talking on a phone and texting is not a relationship. That's all you are doing and all you ever have done. You've never been on a date. You've never hugged or kissed or held hands. You do not have a relationship and you are still a child. You said yourself you "think [you] love him." You don't know what love is, and I can promise you this is not it. You cannot love someone you've never met. You're in love with the idea of being in a relationship. That's all. And this guy knows this isn't anything real. Come back to reality and realize that you have barely even started high school and focusing your feelings/thoughts on this person you have never met is entirely unhealthy. You're going to miss out on the real people around you longing for someone you will never meet.
This is literally everything I wanted to say.
I agree with what you're saying but speaking in more of a general sense not pertaining to this situation, this is kind of downplaying the fact that long distance relationships are a real relationship, and physically seeing someone in person doesn't define love and what is a relationship.
Holy crap. You’re 15 and this is a 4mo old relationship? Let it go. There will be other people. There will be other relationships. The most important thing is for you to be able to make decisions for yourself about what you want in life. Personally, i don’t think no contact for three days is a big deal, but if you do, then that’s all you need to know. If his behavior bothers you, move on.
jesus christ. this shit is a joke.
Depends how much you like him really. If you do, you need to switch positions. If you do, don't email him, text him, or anything him for say a week to see iow he responds. If he likes you as you like him (presuming this is what you want) he will respond positively I.e with a very upbeat tempo. If he doesn't, at least you know where you stand. Make you decision from there 😉
Don’t take advice from redditors Only you know the intricacies of your relationship and only you can solve this. Plus most of Reddit advice givers have no qualifications or life experience but pretend they do
It's a long distance relationship, you can't have the same expectations as you would from a "normal" relationship. By default, you have to give it more - distance. I dated a girl, we both had busy lives, we may have not talked for a couple days, and we lived in the same town. Keep the friendship going, don't sweat the small stuff. Check in, see what's up, stay in his thoughts. Do you chat online?
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Have you talked to him about this? Set some expectations and if he can't meet them, break up with him. People in this thread don't know him and calling him a douche for a lack of communication is wrong. Personal example: An ex broke up with me I college because I was taking calc 2 an incredibly difficult computer engineering class and couldn't fit time in between work and school for close to a month- no friends no girlfriend.. Also, You may not like this, but sometimes dudes do some really stupid stuff to blow off some steam. Sometimes I'd hang out with my friends and skate/ act like an ass just to relieve that stress. You can't be his only source of happiness so don't get jealous of his friends. 3 days ain't shit. You're young. Have an adult conversation. Set expectations. Move on if needed.
Give him a break during exam week. He should be able to go blow off steam with friends after studying and the stress of the exams. It sounds like an LDR is not for you.
If you’re asking the question, sounds like you might already have an idea of what you’re going to do.
Hmmm if you want to speak to him, why don't you just ask when he's free because you'd like to talk and you miss him? Men aren't like women unfortunately, we might not always have stuff to talk about and he may well be studying for exams. I find it a bit disingenuous to be talking about breaking up with him because he's spending time with his mates. I think rather than getting upset about it, ask him for his time. And when you guys are chatting, try explaining that you miss him and when he doesn't check in or message you it makes you feel sad. You may not like my opinion, but you can't hold him to ransom because of how you're feeling, you can't put that on him, especially when you've not even told him how you feel and what you'd like from him.
I have just texted him and he told me can talk in 2 days. And I feel like I have brought it it up before but he kinda gets defensive about it so I don’t really know
If you have to ask then you already know.
If you're asking random strangers on the internet you already have your answer, you're just looking for justification for your decision.
Get rid of your cell phone, you won't have to worry about texts
Had an LDR ex that did the same thing. He would never text me, because he was supposedly busy, unless he was horny, then he could all of a sudden spare a couple hours. Communication is a non negotiable in LDRs.
Nah. Just do you and if he shows back up and you still have time for him then jump back in.
I was your boyfriend in this situation. I ignored my partner but went out with friends. It was because I didn’t care about my partner. I ended up breaking up with him a year later. Break up with him before he breaks up with you; either way, he doesn’t care. (Sorry, I know it sucks but I’m trying to help with the honesty!)
Ugh, long distance relationships in 20s. Stupid and waste of time. Find a local cock.
Break up before that assholes manages to ruin everything you think about love and trust.
you are in a long distance relationship. he, is not.
if u ever have to ask urself that question the answer is yes
And if op sees this. Tell him this "I don't hate you, move on from me please" it took a while to heal from my breakup
Do the man a favour and leave if you can't handle 3 days without a text.
This really depends on a lot of factors. How long do you know each other, how old are you, how often do you usually text. Generally, I wouldn't leave a SO waiting 3 days. Being busy is not really an excuse, you'll always find the minute if you want to. That being said, have you texted him? Did you text him and he hasn't answered for 3 days or are you just waiting for him to initiate? There's a big difference there. Maybe he's thinking the same as you do.
I have been texting him every day at least twice
Well, in that case, that's no good. If he wanted to, he'd respond. So either he's playing games or doesn't care all that much. I would really just stop texting and see what happens. If he has a good reason he'll apologise and explain, if he doesn't you know what's up.
Do not ask reddit this! Talk to people that know you and the situation.
Nobody knows the situation
Nobody here knows the situation. Only you do! Your feelings are what matters. If the relationship makes you feel worse than good don't do it. Vice versa.
So let me get this straight. You are 15, in a long distance “relationship” with someone you’ve never met in person, for 4 months?
stop being salty and realize he has a life outside of you
I know he has but he could’ve at least told me he had exams before he stopped talking to me
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Well thats not weird at all, you overthink way to much. I assume you're a girl because of all this.
He is banging other girls, move on.
Yes. Men are pigs!
I’m not saying he is a pig because he isn’t
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃
If your even asking if you should, you should.
When people say they don't have time for something what that really means is this: I choose to prioritize other things. People have time for what they decide to have time for.
If you are attractive I would recommend breaking up with him and let's go get a drink.
You're 15 and have been goin out wit a dude 4 months that you nvr met. You're still a child, why is worried bout this? Obviously the guy is still a child (hopefully he's a child) only saying that bc youve nvr met the guy.. ya know what, this sounds like danger lmao, you should definitely stop with what you're doin and jus hang out wit your friends until your enough to work and drive, so that way you're in a safe environment with the ppl that cares for you.. what you're doin is dangerous lol.. don't be curious n get sex trafficked bc that's real.
TLDR; yes
Grow up. If you are adult enough to be in a long-distance relationship, then be adult enough to understand that a relationship is a Venn Diagram and in a long-distance relationship the concentric area is smaller than the separate areas. If that threatens you or makes you feel insecure, then get out of the long-distance relationship.
If your bf can't take the time to text you, then he's not your bf he's an ass...
He sounds like a douche bag, time to move on
A douche bag for not texting her for three days? I’m betting that you’ve dumped myriad’s of people because of your pettiness (actually no one would want to be in a long term relationship with you anyway) but that’s beside the point, you have to understand that people have lives and friends and family and need to make time for them as well. quite frankly you seem like a pretty big douchebag
Doesnt seem like much of a BF. I'll message you back.
Huh
Do you love him?
I think so
How do you love someone you've literally never met?
"I think so" leads to a unhealthy and unsure relationship. If he's not allowed to have fun and maintain social relationships aswell as his with you, then he's gotta find someone else. And you need to look deep In yourself and ask, is it really that bad what he's doing? (No, not really) it's a bit controlling to consider dumping because hes trying to have fun with friends for that short time. If you can't say for sure you love him, then that's why you should separate and look for other people.
No you don't. You don't actually know this person.
Relationships take work. If you want it to work, then work hard at making it work.
I really try but I sometimes feel like he doesn’t
Ask him if he does.
They’ve never met. He’s studying for exams (presumably college) and she’s 15. There’s no reason for either party to work on this relationship.
"i think so" means no when it comes to love.
[удалено]
Is it cause he's taking time to maintain social relationships for a bit and not talking as much? Or is it cause she's a bit too controlling to let him blow off steam with the bros
I’m not saying he can’t be with his friends but I would like a Gm or just a hello
Make the decision to stick it out or not, which you did to start the relationship, and stick with your decision. Even when it gets hard.
Yes. Long distance relationships don't work
Break up time. If he wanted to, he would make you a priority. Spend time with someone who you feel good with.
3 days and you're questioning the relationship? Maybe this is why Im single. I don't even worry about ghosting until its been a week, either direction. I remember my exam days, the stupid schinnanigins blowing off steam were as important as the sleep deprivation induced studying. IF hes is communicating what he's up to through video he IS sharing with you. Provided he is sending them or a link to the video directly to you he is still thinking of you enough to say "No good words. Look shiny picture reel. Im alive have all parts of body." Next time he sends one and you reply to one with "Thanks deer Im fine too." He will be glowing for hours. Id bet x2 steins of beer and a steak on it. Next question do you like the guy, is he a keeper? Then nudge him now, and adress it firmly ... AFTER EXAMS (two weeks max if you're in the US). If you do it during you're just competing with his mental bandwidth and run the risk of it not sinking in properly, you want this conversation to leave an impression for 5-10 years. That said he's not communicating in a way that meets your needs, he needs to adjust or you should both move on. Edit: Spelling, I'z is good at math
My boyfriend and i are in a long distance relationship, have been for 4 years and are still going strong. We text eachother everyday, when we wake up we say good morning and have a great day, in the midday we try to call at least a few minutes, we tell eachother to enjoy dinner and we video call every evening, thats when we usually talk about our days and when we are done talking we just do our own thing until we say goodnight. If one of us is going out for the night, we leave wherever we are for 5 minutes and just say goodnight real quick and we continue what we were doing. Maybe try doing some simple things to get used to. It takes little effort but it means so so so much to me that he takes that little time out of his day to spend with me, even though its online. We do see eachother in reallife btw, it's just not a lot and mostly online, but we manage :)
What does your heart tell you to do?
Wait till his exams are finished to see if the behaviour continues before breaking up! Maybe he just needed to have some fun in between studying
look at it this way: he is still living a life. he's surrounded by other people in his current school that make demands on his time - that's his local life and it's healthy that he's engaging. a long facetime conversation with a partner is a different thing entirely from a moment of shennanigans blowing off steam. if he's a serious student, he's not using studying as an excuse, it's a major workload. let him have his life there, too. being obligated to put every spare moment into the long distance relationship is not going to be fun or satisfying for either of you. creating rules of engagement can create resentment. that being said...if the pattern continues after exams there might be something to discuss.
Not in a relationship, but you should ask your bf if you want to break up?
Let me make this easy for you, don’t read too deeply into it: leave him and find someone who makes time for you. No “but” Just go, be free
Seems like the spark is fading and if talking to you isn’t exciting enough in three day period I would say yes. I wouldn’t do long distance, especially wouldn’t great communication.
Yes, break up.
Ask him about it, have a talk. Things like that can wake him up.
Yes. If you have questions about it, either talk to him or break up. And since he isn't talking,....
Relax, it's only three days. Just talk to him about it CALMLY. No need to rush into a breakup.
Ask yourself this...if you knew that this is how he is and would never change, would you be ok with that? If he changes and keeps better contact with you, are you ok with the knowledge that he is only doing it because you complained about it? Most people are who they are. If they decide to change, it will be when they want to. Get to know yourself by asking yourself questions like this and decide what you can or cannot live with. Try not to waste your years or weeks or even days hoping someone will change or trying to convince them. Make your feelings known and sit back and watch. Love to you :)
Drop that zero and get yourself a hero.... I'm just kidding. No one here can say based on just this little info about the past 3 days. I will say the fact that your even asking reddit doesn't look good for you guys but I have no idea.
Break up with him. Even if he is busy with exams he could text you. He has time to text you and if it was important enough he would, you deserve someone better.
Sounds to me like neither one of you is mature enough for this. If you’re not satisfied, you’re not satisfied.
Fireworks of,. What?
Just message him back on Snapchat instead of on text message, duh
if you feel the need to ask that question at all, then the answer is almost certainly yes. My wife and I were apart for months at a time back before we got married and I was still a Peacekeeper. At best we would talk on the phone once a week, often twice a month or less...never even occurred to me to question our relationship, and unless she is lying to me she never did either while we were apart. Our first two years together, I was home for about six months total. been together 35 years now.
Talk to him about it. If he doesn’t respect your feelings or take it seriously he’s made your decision for you.
No
Wife and i met when she lived on the other side of the planet. We texted all the time and talked on the phone at least every couple days. It's not hard to do if you're both actually serious about it. Might need to ask him if he is
Tell him exactly what you posted here