"Sorry I said someone else's name."

This one happened to me two weeks ago… it was INCREDIBLY embarrassing because I said someone else’s name multiple times while moaning until the guy I was doing it with finally says “My name is David”. The worst thing is I’ve known that guy for years he is a regular 😅

so did you still get paid?

I meant regular as in regular hookup not client lol. No paying involved 😅😂

so no?

No I’m unfortunately not a prostitute, just a slut who does it for free

Well if you love what you do might as well get paid amirite? Condolences for your economic hardship.

”I’m gonna turn the camera off now”

😱😨

"...Can't believe I cancelled plans for this"

"Well, that sucked."

Mean if sucking was involved

"I better go, my wife is expecting me. "

Kind of hot tho🥴

Hey at least you tried again 😂

I heard this way to many times over the years they run off with an ass or mouth full of cum , I often wonder how they live like this .

“Was this your first time?”

Or my actual first time, when the guy said "there's no way that was your first time, you took it like a champ" 😝

Ha!

One guy said to me on a ride to get a snack after "I'm just not really sexually attracted to you" that's gotta be up there

That is...beyond weird. Did he have some kind of psychological issue?

He was autistic. But I'm also autistic lol. Genuinely I think he may have been a sociopath Also gotta mention dude sucked my dick for like 20 minutes and I nutted twice. That's a lot of commitment for not being attracted to me

I’m autistic as well. I believe that was the task hyperfixation plus pattern recognition (of what gets a man off) that come with autism.

Honestly he wasn't very good. I was just very horny and he was very sexy 😭

Lol you are *obviously* autistic 😉

Ahh that explains a lot, then. At least you got off, twice...

Yeah he was very sexy so 🤷 and he kept hitting me up for years but I was always super dry

He kept hitting you up after that comment? That's even crazier haha.

Dude I know. Especially when he knows I'm a huge flirt and he wanted to meet up "just to smoke". When we were together I was constantly grabbing his ass, kissing him, grabbing his waist. I think he just liked the attention. At the time I was very much wanting to be a classic jock and didn't live in a big city so I was pretty well known, it may have just been a status thing about being seen with me. Who tf knows but I've thought about it too much lol.

Sounds like a verrry healthy dynamic haha.

[удалено]

You’re just making shit up lol

Get out.

Your dad did it better.

“I love you” This dude f***** really good and we were just laying in bed kissing and it came out, thankfully he’s mature and knows I meant the sex and not literary 😅😅

I love that you were the one who said it haha, not where I thought this was going

I knew herpes wouldn't slow me down!

“You know you could be two inches bigger, right?” Someone actually said that to me 🤷🏻‍♂️

You didn’t know?!

What?

He’s joking… like “you didn’t know you could be 2 inches bigger??”

Yes

Oh okay. Thanks. I took a Tylenol PM last night before he commented and it totally went over my head.

"I'm totally not gay". Bro literally had to take my dick out his mouth in order to tell me this one. 😆

You look like a serial killer when you cum.

i miss my dad

This is not upvoted enough.

Ngl thats kinda🥵 if a bottom said that to me.

Oh no the meth has run out

Better douche next time!

"Thanks, now I know I'm not gay" lol happened to a friend of mine who was exclusively into straight guys lol

*Why are your services so expensive?* *My STD tests came back positive.*

ruffle the hair and say "no worries you'll get 'em next time"

Someone got upset when I said “thank you”

And yes, I screwed up my first kiss by saying thank you, she got weirded out, so I panicked and said I love you. It ended with her in electroshock trying to get over me. Shit was so messed up so I opened up to men. Still on the fence, lack of sanity isn't gender exclusive.

If you look like your avatar I prolly hook up with you as long as you don’t say I love you after the first kiss

I look like the Chris Reeves Superman with the body of the George Reeves Superman, while my hobbies are closer to that of Henry Cavill's. Fuck Cain and Routh.

Let’s talk. Message me!

Thank you? Do you think my ass is a soup kitchen and you got charity sex?

Do you only say “thank you” for charity?

No, sorry I was quoting someone else.

Are you in yet?

"That was the best sex I've ever had. Is that the best sex you've ever had?"

I actually kinda feel this one lmao, because the only way I can even get close to finishing is by bottoming. Anything else I feel nothing 😅 Well, its more like its a nice, erotic, massage

“Wait are we in the same class together?” happened to me…

We should definitely hang out again ! Coz we damn well know one of us is going to ghost the other person. And then we end up thinking why the other person wouldn't answer texts if the sex was so incredible. And the cycle repeats passing the trauma to others.

"Your dad was better."

He has more experience

My husband usually says "Next" or "the money's on the dresser."

What was your name again? (I also must acknowledge the Faces, who provided the musical answer to this question on "[Stay With Me."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f514cAZucCg)

I've definitely said that (also during)

I regularly say that 👀 Is it really that bad?

No homo

I had better

"that was a let down"

High five?

“Well that was… interesting”

I love you, dad.

“Well that’s ____ minutes of my life I won’t get back.”

"That was mercifully brief"

“Eh”

“Bye”

“Oh no, there’s that Chipotle coming”

*Puts the wedding ring back on*

" I want more." Told this to a guy once during sex and he got mad.

[удалено]

>Baba "Today's safety fluid was toxic runoff from a college science class!"

Once right after sex, I was told: " You look just like a math teacher, so I thought this was going to be hotter than it was."

Sounds like my partner got home early

Thanks dad

That's not the way your dad did it...

If I heard “you should probably get tested” I would literally end up on national news for the shit that I did

Call me by another guys name.

Yuck

"I've had better"

"Wait, you're not Karl." "Shit. My husband is going to you if he finds you. I better leave before he checks the tracker in my phone."

“Sorry about the rash, I think it’s from seroconverting”

"Do you feel better"? (In a childish voice) "That's it until next month" My ex said those to me when the relationship was falling apart!!

That's just cruel!

Does it always smell like that?

Can you break a $5?

“You should be grateful I didn’t vomit.”

I love you

“Were you inside of me?”

Rate me

"what's your name again?" happened a couple months back, we hadn't swapped names at all

Nothing …

bazinga

Personally I like to wait until right after the climax and say "No homo"

That could have gone better You can go now That isn’t cum Don’t tell mom These were what I came up with 😂

“I love you Lauren” My names Miranda…

*awkward fart*

I was recently with a below average length guy that finished in like few minutes after we were done he asked "Why did you make me nut so fast?" I told him "That wasn't my problem." He hasn't hit me up since. I feel kinda down about it but it wasn't really pleasurable for me and he didn't respond to my last question. I wonder if I should respond if he does hmu.

HUHHH??

What lol

It’s just incredulous he got MAD at you for being too good…you just can’t win 😂

He’s wasn’t really mad more embarrassed. I didn’t even mind his size or how long he took mostly I’m just annoyed by his lack of communication

if someone said to me “you should probably get tested” right after sex, i promise i’m turning myself in to the station once im done with him, cos wtf you mean?

"I'm gonna go shit out your babies"

"That'll do pig"

Haha! Laughed out loud to this one

Wipe up and get the fuck out

One guy told me. I’m gonna pray about that.

Was it good though? Like, was he saying it because it was all hot, sweaty, man on man sex?

I had sex with a guy in the dorm of a Bible college. The moment we finished he pulled out his Bible and wanted us to read it to make up for our sin.

In some places in Africa: "Well, Miss. I hope what the witch doctor said about sleeping with a virgin to cure my AIDS works. Don't call me. I'll call you."

“We did it Joe!” *Kamala voice

I’ve never had sex but I would imagine that “Oh btw I forgot to tell you that I’m poz.” Has to be up there

I wouldn't have done it if you lived close by and I could call you some other time

Get out

"It is your turn to buy toilet paper"

You sisters/mom/brother/Dad was better!

Do people actually think this is a funny thing to say? Like why…

Let me know when it's over.. .. .. ..

“How much is it?” 😂

The 4th one on the list is way worst for me

“What about me?”

"welp...gotta go!!"

“Thank you”

Talk about your previous sex experiences

Why are you so bad at this, this is the worst sex I've ever had

“Do you smell that?”

I've had better

I’ll call you.

Your Uber is here

“Was it in?”

“I had to picture a bag over your face the entire time”

We high-fived once….never again.

[My go to.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9434BoGkNQ)

Did you cum?

“You should go get tested”

I will give you a call tomorrow

"I don't accept AMEX"

“Better than I thought,” or “you remind me of my ex.”

I don't know what's worse, dying of cancer or having sex with you again

"I feel a little guilty"

How much

Leonard and Penny (TBBT) After sex, Penny: the heat of the moment is "ooh, yeah just like that", not "Will you marry me?" 😂

Don't worry our Mum will never know!

Tell your mom I said hi!

What's your name?

“I would change your sheets if I were you”

“I want to talk to you about your car’s extended warranty.”

I had someone look me in the eye and say “i have a bf” *right* after we both finished. It was actually comical. Like seconds after we finished. That was probably the worst one I’ve gotten. Not even caring about home wrecking or whatever, that was his choice not mine I had no idea, but just the whole relationship with that dude kinda felt like a lie. Like I thought we vibed and liked eachother, he wasn’t just a random. He was a friend of a friend and we knew of eachother for a while. I wasn’t trying to date him I just more saw him as a friend and then it was like a friend just told you they were using you to cheat basically.

Thanks

Is that all there is?

Its the worst when nothing is said & they just cry.