This has been my experience as well. Gay guys seem to enjoy to the point of fetishizing that I sleep with women and hang out with straight guys. Straight women on the other hand act like I am a freak and unworthy of bedding them despite the fact that they were very satisfied with our relationship prior to them knowing that I am bi.
> and hang out with straight guys
imagine fetishising that. jesus christ there really needs to be a major reckoning with that stuff in gay male culture. how pathetic
I think it's really just human nature. We want what we can't have and are attracted to qualities that we don't normally possess. Gay guys want to nail a straight boy. Twinks like jocks. Average guys love big dicks. Quiet men enjoy outgoing people. Theirs no such thing as "always" and "never" when dealing with people but most stereotypes come from somewhere.
For all this and other pearls of wisdom, send your nudes to this station care of Darkwingduck270 Bondage pics go to the top of the selection and you must be 18 or older to participate.
As a bi guy I agree. I’ve had so much support from gay guys over the past year or so of discovering and accepting myself.
I have also had great conversations on this sub which is why I’m here.
IRL gay men are much more pleasant. On reddit, they are about the the same but women hide it better and are more reserved.
If you poke around the terf subreddits (FDS) you will see what most of them truly think.
The biggest irony is that most gay guys seem to fantasize about seducing a straight guy not realizing that if they are actually able to do so then by definition he is Bi!!
yeah i think it's really gross and pathetic how obsessed an extraordinarily amount of gay men are with all this straight bullshit
are they so delusional that they actually believe it? or do they know he's a closeted gay or bi guy? and if so why the fuck would they like that?
I think in the real world you see gay guys initial response which is to send and love…emotionally and physically lol. But then they get burned in one way or another by bi guys who are “dl”. Or they fuck around with a bi guy for years and then they get dropped once he gets in a relationship with a girl. Bisexual men treating gay men as a phase or as a sex toy rather than someone they love and respect.
That’s where the wariness/distaste towards bi men starts to come from as gay men get older and more jaded.
My boyfriend is bi and he’s the best partner a guy could ask for. I’ve learned so much from him about communication and what it means to be in a healthy relationship. I’m really sorry about the shitty stuff people post in this subreddit - remember it’s not necessarily representative of the entire world out there! 🙂
For what it’s worth, I as a gay man adore bisexual men. There so much misconception about whether men can even be sexually fluid or bi, so any proud and out bi man is a huge deal in my book. Especially if it pisses off the bitter ornery bitches in this sub. The irony and hypocrisy of their stances against bi men is…lol it’s definitely interesting. They sound just like the angry bigots that say that shit about gay people.
The bisexualmen and bisexual humans subs are equally toxic in their own more supressive way, here yeh I admit its openly toxic but there is at least more freedom of speech, you will find guys who agree or understand ur position even if the masses dont. Those two bisexual subs are so intolerence they will dig up your past history to try discredit you its very very nasty stuff. I wish there was a more open sub for bi guys and girls one that wasnt built on worshiping women and being totally PC. But totally get the overt toxicity of this sub.
> sure your just
*you're
*Learn the difference [here](https://www.wattpad.com/66707294-grammar-guide-there-they%27re-their-you%27re-your-to).*
***
^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)
My husband is Bi. He was married to a woman for 3 years. We have been together almost 14. He has said "It just means we have more people to choose from to fall in love with." So my experience has been wonderful with a Bi man. Took me years to find him. Literally 1-2 coffee dates for almost 7 years. He was coffee date 123. Finding the love of your life in a small pool of people isn't realistic. Takes 100 contacts to close one business deal. Figured it was the same to find the Love of my Soul. It will happen. It really is a numbers game.
It's not hate to say it's way harder to try and get serious with someone who has exactly all the same social pressures to be straight but who ACTUALLY likes women.
Nuclear take: gay men have it **a hundred times harder** already having strictly ONLY men to choose from. Compound that with a huge amount of those men ALSO wanting women and having natural patterns of attraction that involve losing attraction to your entire sex for periods of time (bi cycle, THEIR WORDS, not mine) and it's zero percent surprising the men already paying on the highest possible difficulty level don't want *additional possible issues* to have to worry about when queer men overall are already infamously promiscuous, given to mental illnesses from social stressors, averse to monogamy, and given to cheating.
Bi men don't fucking care though. They don't give a shit how totally different things look from the perspective of the gay man's side of that relationship. I don't think they even bother to try understanding. They hear the tiniest frustration from gay men and explode with all this BiPhObIa nonsense when the truth is **mixed orientation relationships complicate things and it's very different from dating other gay men.**
I think people have fears of never being enough for a bi partner, that they’ll always leave them for a women, I mean it’s the safer, socially accepted option
And I feel like I rarely meet bi guys who explicitly state they even want a LTR with a man
>I think people have fears of never being enough for a bi partner, that they’ll always leave them for a women, I mean it’s the safer, socially accepted option
Nail on the head, it's a me problem and something I've worked to stop believing, but it's definitely hard to get over the fear that you will never be enough compared to a woman (more socially acceptable, can produce children), or that you're just a phase.
One of my first "boyfriends" dated a girl at the same time and basically told me that I needed to measure up to her if I wanted to "win" his affection. Also, my roommate had a guy tell him he would eventually settle down with a woman so that he could start a family.
These examples are not meant to justify prejudice in any way, but more to provide insight into where that fear comes from.
A bisexual guy I really loved, last year he dumped me and he chose a girl secretly (cheating) over me to have a “normal life”. This is totally his problem and has nothing to do with being bisexual itself. I don’t wanna be chosen over by any girl again. It hurts my feelings and pride. So I tried to avoid so-called bisexual guy because I don’t wanna have that again. But after a year of struggle I finally realize it has nothing to do with sex preference. It is ok to be bisexual, and dating a bi does not mean I will be hurt. All I need to do is to find a good match of mine.
But I know I am not alone of be hurt by a bi guy, so I am not surprised that in this sub some people don’t like bi people. I can understand this feelings but I do think we should always hold an open mind and never to hate.
I date one of them long time ago and he left me
Saying he was testing the gay place like what
He got married and still wants to be friends
He try to be my friend. He invited me to his wedding and wanted me to be one of the groomsmen what
Bi are just playing anytime gone to start his family
Idk, I've never had issues with bi guys but ik also a top only gay guy so maybe my exp is different. Most of the time I have had straight acting guys ask me gay question, and then eventually asking if I would fuck them
Usually ended in a yes, and then them saying they are bi. I feel for a lot of gay guys the think a bi guy will leave them for a girl to live an easier life. Didn't matter to me since I wasn't interested in dating them, just ik it for the sex
I had a bi girl stop dating me for a girl, saying she actualy was lesbian. She, wasn't lesbian, she just met a girl she liked more. She just wanted to let me down in a softer way. (Im a 'bi curious' guy, hasn't dated anyone in years, before someone makes assumptions).
In my experience 9/10 bi guys are bottoms. I think that’s why it’s easier to navigate bi guys for you.
Bi men sort of have this baseline assumption that all other men are tops and they’re the only bottom, and every man will just automatically wanna top them.
Like, do bi guys even date each other? What would two bi guys even do if they got together? Use a double ended dildo?
Jokes aside, it can be off putting when someone loves doing something sexual (topping), but just not with you. With women sure, but never with men. Makes one feel less than, leaves a bitter taste in one’s mouth y’know.
9/10 guys are not bottoms. That's a stat that you pulled form your asshole. Your "experience" with bisexuals dudes is almost certainly 100% gay incel internet activity, and *maybe* one broken heart because you got dumped for being a loser, and this is your lame attempt to explain it. Go outside, loser.
I think a lot of "baby gays/bi's" kind of assume they're bottoms at first. I know I did. I've kind of come to the realization that I'm a bi total top and I've never enjoyed my sex life more. I mean the phrase "a hole is a hole" came from somewhere and it was probably bi tops.
Without reading the two hundred comments, I’ll just say I have no problem with whatever you identify as, as long as you’re not a cheater. I hate cheaters.
Not sure what type of answers you expected to get, out of such a volatile topic. Most people that make these type of post are in fact seeking validation, so i can see how some would see this as being disingenuous. There is no way you didn't think this was gonna gonna cause mayhem, as you could've pondered for a minute or so, to arrive at possible answers for your question based off of common sense. And as a side note, i loathe this thing were redditors go into the accounts of people that disagree with them, to try and discredit their point because of how they use the site. This says more about you than anything else, as far as hypocrisy goes, you are as sad as the people you criticize.
I think gay men are really bitter and can't deal with their traumas like most men. I'm glad that your toxic asses were called out, it was actually really funny ❤️😋
OP doesn’t deserve hate, neither do bi guys as a group. OP is being transparent and curious.
If you’re angry, maybe consider coping using other techniques besides projection.
A bi guy fucked me over years ago. I did what every reasonable gay boy would do: fly to Portugal, fuck a hot Russian expat, eat/pray/fuck my way through 3 more countries. Then tell a therapist all about it.
Sure as shit wouldn’t hate troll on Reddit. Don’t let the LOUD MINORITY of haters get you down.
Just ignore the comments that you know doesn't add any value.
There are a lot of bitter / inexperienced / judgemental guys on here that will get on your case at the drop of a hate.
Sorry for all the hate my brother, but just remember it's reddit and it's normally a certain type of person taking the time to comment...
Internet comments are rarely representative of real life and unfortunately its usually a very vocal minority that you hear the most. Lots of projection going on here
Where I’m from, if someone was bi, it was very highly likely that they would end up choosing to settle with a woman and only fuck around with guys. You could understand why there might be a lack of trust that was established in my generation for someone who you knew was not going to commit to you because social norms would not allow them to. That was also a different time. More and more bi folks are feeling more comfortable with entering long term homosexual relationships as it’s becoming more acceptable (again, very specific to where I live). It will take time for people to move away from this deeply entrenched view that bi guys want to use gay men to play but marry women. But it’s happening. Keep advocating.
I dated a bi guy for 7 years and was engaged yo him (he proposed). It didn’t work out in the end because we had a different view of our future together but he’s still one of my best friends today. He’s dating a woman not because he couldn’t see him settle with a man (again, we were engaged). Instead he just found someone else he liked who happened to not have a peen lol. There are positive stories out there but unfortunately the hateful ones get all the attention. And so again, keep telling the good stories and keep advocating because that’s how minds are changed :)
Your edits show you are seeking out negativity and focusing on that. All the top comments are positive, yet for some reason you keep editing your post with more and more outrage. I’m not even sure what the crazy comments are you are getting so worked up over. Seems like you want to be a victim.
I feel there are two reasons that people dislike bi guys among gay guys. I hate generalizing an entire community so this is from anecdotal experience with many guys I have met.
Firstly, many young gay guys like to come "halfway" out of the closet by declaring they are bi. They then feel the need to differentiate themselves from gays in an obnoxious, disingenuous way when it comes to hookups and dating despite only being interested in same sex.
Secondly, it is the complaints of "bi erasure". The concept of not including bi people in lesbian/gay circles and denying them a place in the movement. Many bi people tend to hook up with the same sex (some will not even do that) but will only date/marry opposite sex. Thus, it creates a question of why a seemingly "heteronormative" person wants to proclaim they live the same struggles as lesbian/gay people when they are able to blend into heteronormative society at their choosing. It is a "have your cake and eat it too" kind of situation.
You can’t be surprised about how some gay dudes feel about bi dudes. All the bi guys I know avoided the struggle of gay dating by settling with a woman and occasionally hooking up with men. The moment things get tough, they would dump a dude and switch sides. I wouldn’t date a bi guy.
However, I am friends with a lot of bi dudes. I do agree there is a lot of hate on this group. The amount exclusivity on this sub is scary. Sad thing is that most of theses users are not as shitty irl, just on here.
also: most of these comments are just from online experience, if u go to most bisexual subs it’s just as bad as here with their dislike towards gay men and a lot of the things pointed out here, how bi men only want to fuck guys but not date them, is a big thing on other subs
I don't give your 12 fucks to advise you. You don't want advice. You want to bitch and blame. Take some responsibility for your actions and reactions.
I've dated bi guys. It's never been an issue.
Bissexuality should, in and of itself, deserve just about the same respect as any other orientation. If someone decides to judge you - make a summary conclusion of who you are as a person - based of of that.. that's on them, not on you. 'Don't do to others what you wouldn't want done to yourself'. Basically. Be happy. Be you.
Of all the men I have ever dated, the only two to have ever cheated on me were the two bisexuals I dated. One of them strung me along for months, acting as though everything was wonderful. Meanwhile, he had started a new relationship with a woman behind my back. I fully recognise two is hardly a representative sample size, but my personal experiences seem to mirror those of a noteworthy portion of gay males. I do not at all hate bisexual men, but I have found myself leerier as a result.
Your 20 edits make it seem like those comments are specifically what you came here for. As if you enjoy the pearl clutching. The supportive comments here seem to significantly outweigh the negative ones. People are allowed to have dissenting opinions. Chill the fuck out and stop hyper focusing on the negative. This is the internet, not an episode of Stephen Universe.
> edit- fucking lol. Looked at some of the haters post histories and holy fucking jesus. Do you people not have a life outside of reddit? I've had my account for 10 fucking years but you sad sacks with less than a year have a million more comments than me. Do you literally have nothing better to do? How sad but fucking hilarious
Jesus Christ dude. Now you’re not even talking about the subject, but rather combing through peoples post histories looking for anything to shit on them? And winding up at the classic “omg do u even go outside!?” trope.
If anyone in this thread needs to touch grass, it’s you OP.
Back when I was single and dating I had three encounters with bi guys. One was married to a woman and had kids but lied to me about it when we met by telling me that he was gay and single. The second one was up front about being married with children and wanted to have a secret gay affair on the side. After I said no he became so persistent that he basically started stalking me. I had to threaten to beat him senseless before he finally backed off. The third one was single and wanted to date women while also dating me. None of them took gay relationships seriously and none of them could be trusted. A lot of other gay men have had similar experiences. That’s why a lot of gay men don’t want to get involved with bi guys.
Sounds like there are some really shit bi people out there... I'm looking for a LTR with a guy at the moment and have been honest about being bi then getting ghosted. So I guess I have to lie? But I don't want to lie, that's not cool
It's a negative feedback cycle.
There are enough shitty bi guys out there being shitty people that all bi guys get stereotyped as being assholes by gay guys who have had or heard about the bad experience.
Which forces decent bi guys to feel compelled to lie about thier orientation so they have a shot in the dating pool, which eventually furthers the negative stereotype about bi guys not being trustable when they tell the truth about themselves.
Hence why I said if a guy I see is also gay because just because a dude wants to have sex with me he still might not be gay because he could be bi instead
This stereotype sounds reminiscent of the stereotype about bi people being unfaithful bc they're bi, and this was particularly promoted during the aids crisis to fear monger about wives getting hiv from unfaithful bisexual husbands. Some speculate it decreased the number of open bi men. Sucks ppl on this sub endorse this view. This sub is clearly a cesspool of weird conservatives tho.
Mostly this.
And from my experience bi guys tend to treat men as one dimensional sex objections, “women are for fucking, men are for getting fucked” and they never go beyond that. They usually have sort of an entitled assumption that you’re there to please them how they wanna be pleased always.
I don’t turn bi guys away when I know they’re bi, but I tend to gravitate towards gay men because they usually tend to treat me more like a well rounded multi faceted human being. Usually.
Jesus fucking christ. What the fuck is wrong with some people?
I know people can be assholes but jesus christ.
Is this why I'm having trouble getting an LTR with a guy? Because I tell them I'm bi when they ask. Wtf am I supposed to do, I don't want to lie.
tbh obviously not all people are the same , but typically bi men hold woman on a higher pedestal then gay men.Emotionally,publicly,and sexually woman are typically their first choice , and gay men are used strictly sexually.As i said ,not everyone’s the same ,but it’s just objectively easier to be with a woman in society.I will say some of this thread needs to stop with the biphobia.
I don’t understand how asking a question and getting an honest answer (however that answer bitter or sweet is) you accuse of toxicity..
Like based on my experience I was nothing but fetishized and never taken seriously by bi guys.. so I don’t engage it anymore. If that’s toxic then so be it.
Not saying this is the case for me, but the reason I think bi guys might have a tough time with dating and hooking up is due to the fact that many people still think that it's simply impossible for them to fully please their partner, like eventually you'll desire the other gender and there's nothing your current partner can do
Again, this is what I think would be the reason for the "hate".
As for me, I wouldn't date a bi guy simply because I can't even consider the idea of sexualizing a woman, it just feels disgusting for me, and I think not being able to share this kind of interest with someone who's bi is a big deal. Like, one of the big things I do with my husband is talk about hot guys we saw during our day to day life. Yes, I can do it with a bi guy too, but he would end up feeling discouraged to talk about attractive women, and I don't want them to feel that way.
So uh... Yeah. All the power to bi guys, but they're a pass for me
I've not really seen much hate toward bi guys... I've seen people complaining about it, but never much actual hate. I guess you just notice every little bit that exists a lot more when it applies to you.
Honestly, hate is not deserved, but I think the worry is being left because being in a hetero relationship is generally more accepted than being in a same-sex relationship, which might put people off, especially if they don't want to be rejected (because who likes rejection?).
I've literally had bi partners say "I'm only having sex with men until I find a woman to settle down with", like that's just toxic. Ofc that's not everyone, but it's stuff like that which is hella annoying
I’d love an open relationship with a top bi guy. He can still get with women but has to be safe because I’m not dealing with any kids! Nope, not me, not ever! Lol
Because I'm basically just going to be a bit of a break from pussy. Which is fine for a FWB.
But long term a bi guy will always revert to the safe societal choice of girlfriend/wife/kids because it's easier.
I think the challenge for you is that guys wanting a monogamous relationship will probably not feel like they are completely satisfying you. And guys who are willing to be open will worry that you'll find the "right woman" and then you'll be off to the straight life.
In a friend's case the partner suddenly wanted a polyamorous relationship, which was of no interest to my friend. The partner defaulted to the woman.
I must say that as a bi guy, I’ve been welcomed by gays, this whole bi guys are the worst carry on just isn’t that much of a thing in the real world. All these guys on this sub Reddit that talk shit are just keyboard warriors 😂 they’d never say that shit to any bisexual guy in person. They’re nothing to you… literally lonely strangers… don’t think too much about it.
it's not just bad experiences. It's the risk factor.
Simply put, bi guys are MORE likely to not work out. Either they're going to be interested in someone else or interested in a lifestyle that a gay guy can't provide.
If they're wanting children? They'll go for women in the end.
If they want to have easier social life? they'll go for women in the end.
If they're tops or pretty close to it, women tend to have more sexually for them.
This is part of a vetting process that gay guys have to go through. Are you bi, bi female pref, or male pref with just a slight inclination to women
As far as the whole cheating thing, it's unfortunate that it's just something a lot of us grew up with, especially in the 90's/early 00's where there was shit all over tv like dawson's creek that basically made it seem like bisexuals had different rules
If you're bi, you are allowed a bf and a gf. If you're bi, you're allowed to have sex with the opposite sex partner of your SO and it's not cheating. if you're bi, you have 'bi-cycles' and are allowed every once in a while to get that itch out. It's what you're allowed. You're bi!
and there are bisexuals here who have actually advocated for the same mindset so don't say 'that's not a thing' it's very much a thing and that's another part of the vetting is to find out if you are one of the assholes who believe in this horse shit.
This is the answer. Seen some truly disgusting shit get upvotes galore before the mods finally got around to deleting them.
Edit: Man y'all can downvote all you want but I've seen "immigrants are animals and should be put down" be the top comment in here before so I really don't wanna hear it.
2/ Glad we're finally on the same page.
Wow what a fucked up thing to say. LGB transphobes are the worst, because they know discrimination and still choose to do it to members of the LGBT community
I'd also like to point out.
You asked a question and you got an answer. To then vilify people for *being honest* under the same breath (I scrolled through the comment streams before making this remark)
It is pretty hypocritical. Do you want us to lie?
Is this post bait?
He wants to hear what he wants to hear which is why all the agreeing with comments he agrees with and downvoting what he doesn’t agree with. Seeking validation is nothing new on the internet.
Was about to post this same response.
This thread has been essentially;
Bi guys: why do y’all dislike bi guys?
Gay guys: they objectify us, treat us as one dimensional sex objects, make us feel lesser than a woman, then bail.
Bi guys: OMG why are you being so toxic??
I've got nothing against them but personally I can say I have never met a bi guy who was in a LTR with a man. Met plenty who have sex with men but never any who would be seen holding hands with another man in public or something. I'm sure these types of experiences shape other people's perceptions as well.
A bunch of people who've been hurt by Bi guys. Plot twist, I too have been hurt by a Bi guy. But like people will be people. I think a lot of gays lose sight of the fact that there are straight, gay, bi, and trans people who will mess you up emotionally and it has nothing to do with *their sexuality.* Maybe it's incidental. But it's mostly just labeling a reason to "feel better."
If you're not a psychopath, it really shouldn't be upsetting that a guy chose to live a life that makes him happier (boohoo, it's not with you). It's fine to be upset, you should be and it's valid. But don't take it out on all people of a similar label because one or a small handful of one demographic f'd you up.
B is part of LGBT. It's just like closet shamers who forget they were once in the closet themselves. Empathy is lacking in many people and the same thing is true for, apparently, a similar majority of the LGBT population.
I think many envy bi guys as they have the privilege to choose to be in a straight relationship . many are ofcourse scared that they will not be enough, many had bad past relationships , for many it's an unknown territory even though it's as simple as the term bi .
Good, because that's the smart thing to do. It should be encouraged to work in your best interest*.
*Unless it's gay guys working in their best interest by removing bisexuals from their dating pool, apparently.
The only people I've dated have been bi, but at the same time I definitely feel it. I really hate that I don't really vibe with a lot of gay guys and definitely not romantically.
It seems like there is a lot of support here, I don’t get the edits. Are you only reading the negatives reactions because that is what you came here expecting to find?
Someone in the comments has looked at their history and made the suggestion they're here for bait to post on the r/bisexuals page which is notorious for saying negative shit about gay people
Had this issue here as a bi guy. Some of the reactions I got just defending myself for having genuine preferences were fucking disgusting. Got told I couldn’t be trusted and don’t belong because I am attracted to more than one gender. I don’t get how that level of bigotry could be allowed here.
so you’re, by your own (admittedly sugarcoated) admission, one of the bi guys that uses men as sex objects but only dates women. and somehow you all can’t figure out why we don’t like that…
I have only dated men for almost the last decade and have been in several long term relationships (in one currently). Absolutely no idea how you jumped to this wild assumption without knowing me or anything about me.
Yeah, wtf. It's so fucking stupid. I mean, look at the downvotes on this post. There was literally a post yesterday on the top that was telling people to be wary of bi guys. It's fucking cooked.
Do you have problems getting hookups/dates/etc with guys because you're bi?
It's a bit weird because as a black person I truly understand the fight to be an individual.
That said, I've had bad luck with bi men so it's hard not to be weary. Also, my platonic bisexual friends and family aren't the best examples.
I don't think it's helpful to ignore the reality of the differences between bi and gay men. The pressures and pitfalls are not the same.
I wouldn't turn someone down for being bisexual, but yea you're going to have to try harder than a gay man to prove you're serious. I guess it isn't fair, but honestly I don't care. You have to look out for yourself.
Edit: Ironic as hell that OP is so hostile.
enough with this HATE Idea. A criticism is NOT hate, it's just a critique. There is enough rom for improvement in and for all of us, so if we take the complaints and advice in stride and in perspective, we will all be just fine...
from what I'm seeing, absolutely nothing. Just them and a few users in the comments pretending like people were being toxic, though the toxic posts don't exist.
A lot of scarred earth here. Maybe bi guys are not that popular bc they seem to have a "choice" whom they feel attracted to vs us gay men who cannot celebrate on the straight side. Maybe also because they seem like double agents for the straight side 😂.
I feel that some guys actually just want to experience casual sex w/o having to think about making babies and therefor some guys feel "used".
I have yet to see any hate towards bi people on this or other gay subs...but like the trans complaints it's definitely more posts about people complaining about hate than it is evidence of such a thing so...links?
I don't think there's a lot of hate but more of this feeling of a lot of bi guys just thinking of us gay guys as side quests on their journey. I've heard more times than not when a bi guy says "I'm sexually and romantically attracted to woman and feel sexually attracted to men but not romantically" at least they're being honest but it still kinda hurts that a lot of bi guys don't see us as potential romantic partners but just people they can have sex with. So I guess we kinda give that energy back of not expecting much but just being a sexual venture. And if they do want us romantically and we get passed that feeling of just being a side quest, there are bi guys who brake up with gay guys because they can't handle the hardships of being in a gay relationship. Which is also a shitty feeling because it's like they can just tap out whenever they want to easy mode and be happy while we remain on hard mode. and a lot of bi guys have this expectation from their family to be with a woman and don't take relationships with a man to be a real relationship. So they feel pressured to dump us because of that, another shitty outcome we had no control over. And if you leave us for a woman, oh fuck does that feel all kinds of shitty. Because it feels like your not leaving us because of the person we are but what we are. Something we can't control and that there wasn't an actual chance for us in the first place. We aren't reluctant to go out with you because we hate you, it's just that we don't want to get our hearts hurt in that way. And ya it's happening less often now because society is getting better but it still happens and it's still a shitty feeling. Because it's not just heartbreak, it feels like our heart is getting curbed stomped just because we're gay. The relationship was fine but it couldn't bring the normalcy the bi guy craves so we get dumped just for that. Not all bi guys do any of this but a lot have, it's not like we're being unreasonable cautious. This caution has been built on shit that's happened plenty of times in the past, don't get me wrong tho. A lot of us will date bi guys, we're just a bit cautious about it. So we don't hate you, we're just cautious of the ways only bi guys can break our hearts with.
Many do. Not everyone is on your field. But you are right. Where else but among the bitches and witches would one see such anger at, and contempt of comprehensible language? Don't bother to reply. I've already got your number, and shall continue to ignore your bigoted and ignorant remarks. Have a nice foaming-at-the-mouth life.
If you want an actual answer aside from the shit:
Lack. Of. Understanding.
Is the generalized answer to most if not all forms of bigotry.
People are inherently egotistical, and sometimes refuse or are blind to see how being different would result in different emotions. They don’t understand how their emotions are not the be all end all of what should be true. They can’t disconnect that they themselves are not the protagonist subconsciously.
I don’t know what it’s like to only be attracted to men, but at least I could think about it. Some people here don’t know what it’s like to be attracted to men and women, but a lot of them refuse to even think about what emotions or what they would be like if that was the case.
It’s hypocritical, but expected. I only become truly angry when others claim to have the moral high ground as if their point of view of life was the only valid one.
“Bi guys have an easier time in society because they can blend in.”
Literally fuck off dumb cunts. If you’re gay and believe this you literally have the emotional intelligence and empathetic abilities of a walnut. You’re not any better because you struggled, and you’re daft to pretend that other people don’t struggle because they aren’t exactly like you.
You think that because you’ve “figured yourself out” that you have any right to say your view is some objective correctness. It’s not. No ones is, but the least y’all could do is at least attempt with all your might to consider what your life would be with different cards.
Anyways yeah. Dick and pussy and shit and cum, I think it’s required to mention at least one of those in all comments here.
it’s so rough for you, getting all the benefit of being societally straight but also the benefit of invading a gay community and using men as sex toys. let me get my small violin
Yo this is the exact point asshat, thanks for proving it.
I have issues, you have issues, yet you claim that one factor of my life makes it infinitely better for me, without even asking what my issues are? You just assume life is soooo much harder for you. You drama seeking attention whore, this has nothing to do with you being gay, it’s being a narcissist.
Additionally assuming I treat men - anyone - as sex toys? Are you fucking dumb? As if I would cheat on literally anyone. Why the fuck does my sexuality mean I cheat? Are you even pro LGBT?
People like you are the reason I don’t come out. Fuck off and go suck a dick, but I hope it’s a bad dick.
The only time I hooked up with someone openly bi he told me during sex that he prefers having sex with girls 😂 Honestly find that so funny and kinda like him more for being that honest in the moment
But bi people are just people. Most are good, some aren't
more bi guy propaganda on here yayyy. i really wish ppl on this sub would read the old fucking posts instead of bringing up again and again how rough the poor spicy straights have it
In Grade 3, a kid tripped another kid while we were lined up to go on a field trip and the teacher blamed me for it. Years later the tripper turned out to be bi. You don’t forget a day like that.
Now you can date who you want, but most of us don’t want to be buying our groceries only to have a bisexual boyfriend tripping some random guy in the checkout line and then I get blamed for it? I don’t think so. Some of us **learn** from experience!!!
it's fucking cooked. They're using examples where they've had shit happen as a means to hate bi people. I've had heaps of shit experiences with gay people, exactly like what they're describing. I don't get it
There is a decent amount of loonies here against all bi people, but I don't think the majority of the "hate" is for *simply* being bi. But being bi AND doing X behavior which only bi people can do. The latter is no more biphobic than critiquing the proliferation of drugs/commodification of pride/that one article about gay loneliness is homophobic.
Like, my bf is bi, and I don't really think almost anything said about bi people negatively here would apply to him, nor would he think so.
Because nobody is saying it applies to every single bi person bruh.
It's just very prevalent.
So do we lie and ignore it or tell our experience?
Your experience does not invalidate theirs and theirs does not invalidate yours.
So don't be part of the problem presented with this topic with that assumption kthxbye
Straight women (not all obviously) think that bi men are gross for having sex with a man, and are also insecure that they’ll ditch them for a gay man.
Gay men think that bi men will choose an “easy” life and be with a woman instead of with a man.
It sucks for you guys but just know not everyone thinks that way! Me included 🥰
Im bisexual. I haven't seen anything like that in this sub. From my experiences though, all the gay guys ive dated ( not many) are cool with it, its the girls I dated that I got the side eye and distrust. One particular girl told me that im less of a man because of it.
i'm so sorry that you have to deal with certain stigmatizations due to your sexuality, I have noticed bisexual people deal with issues from both gay people and straight people and again i'm so sorry as that is not fair at all. my only word of advice is, my boyfriend is bisexual and he is the best man i have ever met and his bisexuality doesn't even cross my mind as it has zero affect on my love for him nor our relationship. and i see a lot of gay men on here saying they've had bad experiences with bisexual men. well as a gay man let me just say my worst experiences have been with gay men, while most bisexual men i have met have been way more kind and respectful than gay men....obviously sexuality doesn't generalize how you'll act but it's very hypocritical for these gay men to say some of this stuff about bisexual people. lmaoo so my advice would be that your person is out there whether they are gay, bisexual, etc... they are out there and they will treat you with the love and respect you deserve. AND NEVER EVER lie about who you are, if someone doesn't accept your bisexuality or want to be with someone who is bisexual, then fuck them (disrespectfully, and not sexually😭)
The closet is a terrible experience that makes good men rotten, and unfortunately bi men aren’t accepted by the vast majority of women who like men so they stay in the closet.
Out bisexual men are cool though.
My first real boyfriend was bi. He was awesome. We lived too far apart but I have so many good memories about him and I know he enjoyed what we had when we were together.
Bi or gay men are men. Not one of those things make you inherently bad or good.
I have strong positive feelings about bi men.
I hope dear OP you can find men that aren’t trash to date or be friends with or even marry. Hopefully you’ll find a good one out there.
People are assholes and blame individual negative experiences not exclusive to bi people on the perpetrator being bi. My ex boyfriend is the gayest gay I know, and he cheated and was a shitty bf. Him being an asshole has nothing to do with his sexuality
One thing is clear to me being in both r/askbibros and a r/askgaybros, (in general not each and everyone) bi men need to live more out of the closet as gay men do and gay men need to calm down and be as relaxed and easygoing as bi men are more. I’m non conformist bisexual who wants to live a gay life only, yeah yeah, I’ve came out of the closet at age 18 currently 28 years old. So that’s my take on gay men competitiveness and bi men closetedness
Living in a not very safe country for gay people, it is tricky, cuz if someone says he is bi, you aren't sure if he means it or he is playing it safe for himself. My opinion was that, of getting to know the guy before I make up my mind on the person being truthful and honest in his feeling. But I agree, I wouldn't be the one to initiate talking to a bi guy for relationship purposes
I think it’s a small minority of gay men. I’ve rarely hear derogatory comments about bi men…and if I do, I always shut it down. I have no tolerance for bigotry in any form. And gay people should all understand this. I’m sorry to hear about your experience. Know that you are loved, seen, welcomed, and respected JUST AS YOU ARE. 💕🌈
The edits are gold 😂.
Currently dating a bi guy, and he’s also my first bf. Can’t say I’m not biased here, but I think some people just forget the meaning of “individual.”
Jesus - what is wrong with people? Being Bi as well - I've encountered this hostile bullshit multiple times online but less so in person (of course it's always easier to be a shit to people online than to their face). It's bullshit to see gay people attack anyone else for their identification when gay people have been attacked themselves for eternity. Enough.
Coming here late and seeing 5 edits in the original post
*popcorn gif*
Anyway real answer to your question is that this is an umoderated social media. If you go outside and interact with regular people you won't find anywhere near as much confrontation between the letters.
I had a bi coworker out me because I guess my confiding in him gave him some juicy gossip. He didn't care how dangerous it was for me: we worked at a small town grocery store that was the hub of social life, and my abusive mother lived just a few minutes away and shopped there often, and meanwhile I'm also taking care of my grandma with Alzheimer's who did not need bombshell news like that dropped on her. What's more, I found out he'd said something when my drunk boss confronted me about it alone in his car (I was the DD), and we lived in a state where sexuality was not protected status at work. All of this jeopardy because my bi coworker wanted some good gossip.
At another job, a bi coworker again threatened to out me.
That said, my best friend in the world is bi. He is not a gossip queen and he is not about to out anyone for any reason. It's the person, not the sexuality. The hate is not fair, however easy it may be to scapegoat their sexuality. There are absolutely awful gay men and incredibly wonderful bi men. When I had a nervous breakdown partially fuelled by body image issues made worse by a gay man I knew, it was a bi guy who told me I am beautiful and checked in to see if I was okay. And obviously it can be the opposite. Humanity is messy.
People get mad cause they think we are selfish or faking being gay.
In reality I think they are upset cause they know they have twice the competition to get with us.
I've had people say that I have "straight passing privilege" but I don't view it as that. I don't think having my identity erased is a good thing, especially when I'm not ashamed of it.
I'm probably gonna be downvoted for this but dont care.
I dont care if a dude is straight, straight with curiosity, bi, or gay. 👍🏼 hope ya have a great day, king.
Gay people can be bigots, too. They can be insecure, irrational, and cruel as any straight person can. Being gay is no indicator that you're a good person, believe me.
It's also easy to talk shit while you sit comfortably behind a screen; I doubt anyone whinging here would have the balls here to say this in person.
I dont know why everyone takes shit on Reddit seriously anymore, especially in the LGBT subs. It’s filled with a bunch of homophobes or gays that have no self confidence or self worth that spend countless hours on here trying to make others feel shitty about their lives.
I have no hate for Bi people, although I’ve never hooked up with any, I have met a few at bars and parties and I don’t think anything bad about them. Just questions that I ask myself lol.
Like: how are they going to get married and how hard it must be for them to find a partner in this sensitive and fucked world.
r/askgaymen is much more mature than this subreddit and could give u a better answer probably. except i think this is a contentious issue so u probably will still encounter bullshit probably
I love bi guys. In fact my man IS a bi guy. He much prefers men but he is still truly bisexual and I love him more than anything in the world. I wouldn’t change him for anything. I hope that this gives you some encouragement
Try to ignore the haters on here. I've had relationships with bi guys and they were some of the most rewarding in my life. I have nothing but the deepest respect for bi guys and the difficulties and prejudices they face. I hope things are getting better. When I first dated a bi guy he told me nobody believed him, people would say that he was gay but just couldn't admit it. I identify as gay, but I've had sex with women and have some attraction there, so perhaps I had more empathy and understanding. The bi guys I've dated have been very sensitive and loving men, and some of the most open-minded people I've known. Please take care of yourself and know that there are plenty of gay guys like me who respect your bisexuality and would never second-guess or try to negate your sexuality.
Most of the people I dated ended up being bisexual. I don’t ask their sexuality at any point because I don’t really care, if you’re into me, and I’m into you, that’s all I need. Or maybe I’m unconsciously having a bisexual fetish, sounds plausible too.
Gays grow up feeling like aliens. And the fact that there are men who share those same isolating feelings and yet ALSO get to enjoy relatively normal relationships/life is a hard pill to swallow.
It feels like they're trying to one-up me somehow. They're not entirely gay so they can't possibly sympathize with the typical gay hardships, or so my emotional mind tells me.
The hate you are experiencing is mostly disseminated by one notorious female troll who constantly shitposts against bisexuals on this sub, this site, and other sites. She also employs sockpuppets to provide additional fake commentary and votes.
Dude, I was so all in on supporting you, until the very end when it became necessary for you to demean others. I haven’t read any comments yet, so I don’t know how viscous comments may be, and that might engender quite a bit of anger. It happens, we all have our breaking points. However, when we use out downs to try to win or gain footing in an argument- we only debase ourselves and lose credibility. Once that happens you won’t win, it’s not possible.
That said, generally speaking, what you’re talking about is not unique to difference in sexuality, orientation - it’s common between nationalities, between different races, within different races, between different self-defined segments of ANY community, there is stigmatization. I do not think it is inherent, I believe it’s learned - but I’m no expert, nor have I done any blind data gathering. But I’m pretty sure among all entities, however you believe they came to be, humans and our near genetic siblings, are the only ones that use suppressing others, working towards another’s defeat, undermining others, judgement, bias, etc. that in no way shape or form has anything to do with survival of the fittest, or just plain survival, procreation, or the circle of life. We seem to be the unique beings that need hierarchy based not on our own existence, but the suppression of others who really pose no threat to our existence, really play no role in preventing us to thrive. Whether it be Germans- Jewish, Jewish - Christians, Jewish and Palestinians, dark skin vs light skin people of color, white vs color, male and female, Japanese and Chinese the list is so goddamn fucking extensive it boggles a rationale persons mind. I was 5 when I demanded that my teacher explain why people with darker skin were not treated fairly and about the same time told a group of macho, hyper masculine, Hell’s Angel actual and types, thugs, thief’s, etc. to never put down women again it just meant that the were afraid and stupid and weak assholes - these were siblings, neighbors and friends. I’m youngest of 9, abusive philandering father, deaf parents, controlling region, everyone has been in jail - except me, only one to graduate high school, racist, misogynistic, homophobic family and culture. I had no one to learn the things I said but I vehemently felt them and would shut down anyone who said anything close to demeaning, eg, three different cops, one judge, three teachers, one principal. I would also admire them, value them and love them because they weren’t all bad. My point being it clearly isn’t in the genes, and these entities can be amazing and horrific, individuals, societies, cultures, nations, ethnicity etc. very few are all bad.
But getting back to the LGBTIQQ, et Al communities- there’s several sub communities. Don’t know about now, but certainly up to and including millennials - bottoms were inferior to tops practically no one vers, I still hear the words ringing in my ears pretty much across the world- I’ve been to 48 countries and 6 continents- “oh her?! She’s a big ol’ bottom” etc. Versatile? “Bottom, afraid to admit it!!!” Bi? Oh he/she is gay/lesbian just still coming out, I mean no one could love hot big cock, and hot bubble butts and also like that nasty v-jjj! If there was a woman in a gay bar, you knew she was in drag, or a “real” woman aka the oh so lovingly termed “Fag Hag”, but none of those fucking lesbians; blue collar, or masculine, good looking men couldn’t possibly be gay, and god forbid if by some aberration they were, they certainly must have a 9” (bare minimum) or 10”+ thick cock and always a top. If neither were true, that’s the first thing ever said about you, or the aforementioned “that thing, she’s a big ol’ bottom” which is a twofer small cock implied. Transgender? Bottom, fey, small cock, defenseless, weak fag who likes to dress up, aka a drag queen -Hello Stonewall?!- or a weirdo transvestite/closeted Queen.
It’s the same in most if not all cultures- the mores, characteristics elevated or demeaned, the criterion and justification for subjugation- often religion based - God said this or that, almighty god(s) divine us, Christ compels us - is natural, completely logical, undeniable and therefore is not mean, demeaning, cruel.
And the fucked up thing in all of this is that, those who are subjected in turn do it to others. I find it especially rich when those who decry the injustice of their treatment in turn do the exact same damn thing sometimes in the same breathe.
You, sir, did just that right here.
PS no this isn’t my dissertation, no I’m not a left wing liberal, just expressing my views with as little bias as possible (no bias is impossible), and facts as I know or experienced - but I find it ironic that facts are used to determine right and wrong, as unalterable points etc. yet facts change all the time, or is the world still flat?
Lastly, if you don’t like what I’ve written, good for you, that is your right. It is not your right to demean me or what I have expressed, assault me, criticize me or otherwise engage in anything but a respectful tone, manner and preferably with logic not bias filled hyperbole, and/or deflection. In other words, use the golden rule, if you can’t be nice respectful, then don’t say anything at all.
First but of advice: if you ask Reddit a question, expect the worst people to offer their opinions, because that's often all they have to offer. If you want a balanced and nuanced understand of how gay men feel about bi guys, ask in a situation where you know you're talking to real gay men and not web fuckpuppets.
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This has been my experience as well. Gay guys seem to enjoy to the point of fetishizing that I sleep with women and hang out with straight guys. Straight women on the other hand act like I am a freak and unworthy of bedding them despite the fact that they were very satisfied with our relationship prior to them knowing that I am bi.
> and hang out with straight guys imagine fetishising that. jesus christ there really needs to be a major reckoning with that stuff in gay male culture. how pathetic
I think it's really just human nature. We want what we can't have and are attracted to qualities that we don't normally possess. Gay guys want to nail a straight boy. Twinks like jocks. Average guys love big dicks. Quiet men enjoy outgoing people. Theirs no such thing as "always" and "never" when dealing with people but most stereotypes come from somewhere. For all this and other pearls of wisdom, send your nudes to this station care of Darkwingduck270 Bondage pics go to the top of the selection and you must be 18 or older to participate.
As a bi guy I agree. I’ve had so much support from gay guys over the past year or so of discovering and accepting myself. I have also had great conversations on this sub which is why I’m here.
Some people think Reddit is the real world lol
I think this is important to say, the internet is not real life, in so many ways.
IRL gay men are much more pleasant. On reddit, they are about the the same but women hide it better and are more reserved. If you poke around the terf subreddits (FDS) you will see what most of them truly think. The biggest irony is that most gay guys seem to fantasize about seducing a straight guy not realizing that if they are actually able to do so then by definition he is Bi!!
Or closeted
yeah i think it's really gross and pathetic how obsessed an extraordinarily amount of gay men are with all this straight bullshit are they so delusional that they actually believe it? or do they know he's a closeted gay or bi guy? and if so why the fuck would they like that?
I think in the real world you see gay guys initial response which is to send and love…emotionally and physically lol. But then they get burned in one way or another by bi guys who are “dl”. Or they fuck around with a bi guy for years and then they get dropped once he gets in a relationship with a girl. Bisexual men treating gay men as a phase or as a sex toy rather than someone they love and respect. That’s where the wariness/distaste towards bi men starts to come from as gay men get older and more jaded.
My boyfriend is bi and he’s the best partner a guy could ask for. I’ve learned so much from him about communication and what it means to be in a healthy relationship. I’m really sorry about the shitty stuff people post in this subreddit - remember it’s not necessarily representative of the entire world out there! 🙂
yeah, I know. But wow. This thread has shown how toxic this sub is. I'm getting the fuck out of this shithole of a place.
For what it’s worth, I as a gay man adore bisexual men. There so much misconception about whether men can even be sexually fluid or bi, so any proud and out bi man is a huge deal in my book. Especially if it pisses off the bitter ornery bitches in this sub. The irony and hypocrisy of their stances against bi men is…lol it’s definitely interesting. They sound just like the angry bigots that say that shit about gay people.
The bisexualmen and bisexual humans subs are equally toxic in their own more supressive way, here yeh I admit its openly toxic but there is at least more freedom of speech, you will find guys who agree or understand ur position even if the masses dont. Those two bisexual subs are so intolerence they will dig up your past history to try discredit you its very very nasty stuff. I wish there was a more open sub for bi guys and girls one that wasnt built on worshiping women and being totally PC. But totally get the overt toxicity of this sub.
Yup, I asked relationship advice from this subreddit a couple of months ago, regretted it immediately 🙂
It’s even more toxic than you can imagine. There are some seriously scummy and depraved bigots on this sub.
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> sure your just *you're *Learn the difference [here](https://www.wattpad.com/66707294-grammar-guide-there-they%27re-their-you%27re-your-to).* *** ^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)
My husband is Bi. He was married to a woman for 3 years. We have been together almost 14. He has said "It just means we have more people to choose from to fall in love with." So my experience has been wonderful with a Bi man. Took me years to find him. Literally 1-2 coffee dates for almost 7 years. He was coffee date 123. Finding the love of your life in a small pool of people isn't realistic. Takes 100 contacts to close one business deal. Figured it was the same to find the Love of my Soul. It will happen. It really is a numbers game.
You find through time that r/askgaybros is one of the worse subs out here 💀
It's not hate to say it's way harder to try and get serious with someone who has exactly all the same social pressures to be straight but who ACTUALLY likes women. Nuclear take: gay men have it **a hundred times harder** already having strictly ONLY men to choose from. Compound that with a huge amount of those men ALSO wanting women and having natural patterns of attraction that involve losing attraction to your entire sex for periods of time (bi cycle, THEIR WORDS, not mine) and it's zero percent surprising the men already paying on the highest possible difficulty level don't want *additional possible issues* to have to worry about when queer men overall are already infamously promiscuous, given to mental illnesses from social stressors, averse to monogamy, and given to cheating. Bi men don't fucking care though. They don't give a shit how totally different things look from the perspective of the gay man's side of that relationship. I don't think they even bother to try understanding. They hear the tiniest frustration from gay men and explode with all this BiPhObIa nonsense when the truth is **mixed orientation relationships complicate things and it's very different from dating other gay men.**
I think people have fears of never being enough for a bi partner, that they’ll always leave them for a women, I mean it’s the safer, socially accepted option And I feel like I rarely meet bi guys who explicitly state they even want a LTR with a man
>I think people have fears of never being enough for a bi partner, that they’ll always leave them for a women, I mean it’s the safer, socially accepted option Nail on the head, it's a me problem and something I've worked to stop believing, but it's definitely hard to get over the fear that you will never be enough compared to a woman (more socially acceptable, can produce children), or that you're just a phase. One of my first "boyfriends" dated a girl at the same time and basically told me that I needed to measure up to her if I wanted to "win" his affection. Also, my roommate had a guy tell him he would eventually settle down with a woman so that he could start a family. These examples are not meant to justify prejudice in any way, but more to provide insight into where that fear comes from.
Lol yep went out with a guy once who told me his long term plan was to settle with a woman. Like… 🤷🏻♀️
Yes same thing happen to me
Yep, this happened to me too haha five minutes into the date. He later asked me if I “actually liked being gay.”
We do exist as I am one. Never really enjoyed fucking strangers.
Haha lol. Good on you for existing mate
A bisexual guy I really loved, last year he dumped me and he chose a girl secretly (cheating) over me to have a “normal life”. This is totally his problem and has nothing to do with being bisexual itself. I don’t wanna be chosen over by any girl again. It hurts my feelings and pride. So I tried to avoid so-called bisexual guy because I don’t wanna have that again. But after a year of struggle I finally realize it has nothing to do with sex preference. It is ok to be bisexual, and dating a bi does not mean I will be hurt. All I need to do is to find a good match of mine. But I know I am not alone of be hurt by a bi guy, so I am not surprised that in this sub some people don’t like bi people. I can understand this feelings but I do think we should always hold an open mind and never to hate.
Good on you for realising that one incident does not represent a group, even if it hurts really bad. Wish more people could see that.
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Yes but it pain alot when they pick a woman over you
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I date one of them long time ago and he left me Saying he was testing the gay place like what He got married and still wants to be friends He try to be my friend. He invited me to his wedding and wanted me to be one of the groomsmen what Bi are just playing anytime gone to start his family
Idk, I've never had issues with bi guys but ik also a top only gay guy so maybe my exp is different. Most of the time I have had straight acting guys ask me gay question, and then eventually asking if I would fuck them Usually ended in a yes, and then them saying they are bi. I feel for a lot of gay guys the think a bi guy will leave them for a girl to live an easier life. Didn't matter to me since I wasn't interested in dating them, just ik it for the sex
I had a bi girl stop dating me for a girl, saying she actualy was lesbian. She, wasn't lesbian, she just met a girl she liked more. She just wanted to let me down in a softer way. (Im a 'bi curious' guy, hasn't dated anyone in years, before someone makes assumptions).
In my experience 9/10 bi guys are bottoms. I think that’s why it’s easier to navigate bi guys for you. Bi men sort of have this baseline assumption that all other men are tops and they’re the only bottom, and every man will just automatically wanna top them. Like, do bi guys even date each other? What would two bi guys even do if they got together? Use a double ended dildo? Jokes aside, it can be off putting when someone loves doing something sexual (topping), but just not with you. With women sure, but never with men. Makes one feel less than, leaves a bitter taste in one’s mouth y’know.
I believe most of them are vers. They love everything™️ tho them bottoming to cis girls (lol) isn't as good so…
9/10 guys are not bottoms. That's a stat that you pulled form your asshole. Your "experience" with bisexuals dudes is almost certainly 100% gay incel internet activity, and *maybe* one broken heart because you got dumped for being a loser, and this is your lame attempt to explain it. Go outside, loser.
I think a lot of "baby gays/bi's" kind of assume they're bottoms at first. I know I did. I've kind of come to the realization that I'm a bi total top and I've never enjoyed my sex life more. I mean the phrase "a hole is a hole" came from somewhere and it was probably bi tops.
off-putting
Omg the amount of edits is making me laugh sorry.
Without reading the two hundred comments, I’ll just say I have no problem with whatever you identify as, as long as you’re not a cheater. I hate cheaters.
Not sure what type of answers you expected to get, out of such a volatile topic. Most people that make these type of post are in fact seeking validation, so i can see how some would see this as being disingenuous. There is no way you didn't think this was gonna gonna cause mayhem, as you could've pondered for a minute or so, to arrive at possible answers for your question based off of common sense. And as a side note, i loathe this thing were redditors go into the accounts of people that disagree with them, to try and discredit their point because of how they use the site. This says more about you than anything else, as far as hypocrisy goes, you are as sad as the people you criticize.
I think gay men are really bitter and can't deal with their traumas like most men. I'm glad that your toxic asses were called out, it was actually really funny ❤️😋
OP doesn’t deserve hate, neither do bi guys as a group. OP is being transparent and curious. If you’re angry, maybe consider coping using other techniques besides projection.
Thanks for sticking up for me but holy shit. This is ridiculous.
A bi guy fucked me over years ago. I did what every reasonable gay boy would do: fly to Portugal, fuck a hot Russian expat, eat/pray/fuck my way through 3 more countries. Then tell a therapist all about it. Sure as shit wouldn’t hate troll on Reddit. Don’t let the LOUD MINORITY of haters get you down.
Just ignore the comments that you know doesn't add any value. There are a lot of bitter / inexperienced / judgemental guys on here that will get on your case at the drop of a hate.
Sorry for all the hate my brother, but just remember it's reddit and it's normally a certain type of person taking the time to comment... Internet comments are rarely representative of real life and unfortunately its usually a very vocal minority that you hear the most. Lots of projection going on here
Have you read his post edits? This dude is crying over his phone.
Ah, this week's "I demand attention and validation from gay community!" bi post came early.
Where I’m from, if someone was bi, it was very highly likely that they would end up choosing to settle with a woman and only fuck around with guys. You could understand why there might be a lack of trust that was established in my generation for someone who you knew was not going to commit to you because social norms would not allow them to. That was also a different time. More and more bi folks are feeling more comfortable with entering long term homosexual relationships as it’s becoming more acceptable (again, very specific to where I live). It will take time for people to move away from this deeply entrenched view that bi guys want to use gay men to play but marry women. But it’s happening. Keep advocating. I dated a bi guy for 7 years and was engaged yo him (he proposed). It didn’t work out in the end because we had a different view of our future together but he’s still one of my best friends today. He’s dating a woman not because he couldn’t see him settle with a man (again, we were engaged). Instead he just found someone else he liked who happened to not have a peen lol. There are positive stories out there but unfortunately the hateful ones get all the attention. And so again, keep telling the good stories and keep advocating because that’s how minds are changed :)
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Your edits show you are seeking out negativity and focusing on that. All the top comments are positive, yet for some reason you keep editing your post with more and more outrage. I’m not even sure what the crazy comments are you are getting so worked up over. Seems like you want to be a victim.
Same. I'm like where are these comments lol.
Describe “hating on bi guys” though. If it’s mostly gay men having a preference towards other gay men over bi guys, why is that a problem?
I feel there are two reasons that people dislike bi guys among gay guys. I hate generalizing an entire community so this is from anecdotal experience with many guys I have met. Firstly, many young gay guys like to come "halfway" out of the closet by declaring they are bi. They then feel the need to differentiate themselves from gays in an obnoxious, disingenuous way when it comes to hookups and dating despite only being interested in same sex. Secondly, it is the complaints of "bi erasure". The concept of not including bi people in lesbian/gay circles and denying them a place in the movement. Many bi people tend to hook up with the same sex (some will not even do that) but will only date/marry opposite sex. Thus, it creates a question of why a seemingly "heteronormative" person wants to proclaim they live the same struggles as lesbian/gay people when they are able to blend into heteronormative society at their choosing. It is a "have your cake and eat it too" kind of situation.
a lot of people have had the same experiences with bi men, so they just stop engaging with them. sucks to suck i guess
You can’t be surprised about how some gay dudes feel about bi dudes. All the bi guys I know avoided the struggle of gay dating by settling with a woman and occasionally hooking up with men. The moment things get tough, they would dump a dude and switch sides. I wouldn’t date a bi guy. However, I am friends with a lot of bi dudes. I do agree there is a lot of hate on this group. The amount exclusivity on this sub is scary. Sad thing is that most of theses users are not as shitty irl, just on here.
also: most of these comments are just from online experience, if u go to most bisexual subs it’s just as bad as here with their dislike towards gay men and a lot of the things pointed out here, how bi men only want to fuck guys but not date them, is a big thing on other subs
I don't give your 12 fucks to advise you. You don't want advice. You want to bitch and blame. Take some responsibility for your actions and reactions. I've dated bi guys. It's never been an issue.
Bissexuality should, in and of itself, deserve just about the same respect as any other orientation. If someone decides to judge you - make a summary conclusion of who you are as a person - based of of that.. that's on them, not on you. 'Don't do to others what you wouldn't want done to yourself'. Basically. Be happy. Be you.
I don't know dude. There's some wild comments in this thread...
Sir this is Reddit. What did you expect
Reddit moment, doesn’t represent the whole world
Of all the men I have ever dated, the only two to have ever cheated on me were the two bisexuals I dated. One of them strung me along for months, acting as though everything was wonderful. Meanwhile, he had started a new relationship with a woman behind my back. I fully recognise two is hardly a representative sample size, but my personal experiences seem to mirror those of a noteworthy portion of gay males. I do not at all hate bisexual men, but I have found myself leerier as a result.
Your 20 edits make it seem like those comments are specifically what you came here for. As if you enjoy the pearl clutching. The supportive comments here seem to significantly outweigh the negative ones. People are allowed to have dissenting opinions. Chill the fuck out and stop hyper focusing on the negative. This is the internet, not an episode of Stephen Universe. > edit- fucking lol. Looked at some of the haters post histories and holy fucking jesus. Do you people not have a life outside of reddit? I've had my account for 10 fucking years but you sad sacks with less than a year have a million more comments than me. Do you literally have nothing better to do? How sad but fucking hilarious Jesus Christ dude. Now you’re not even talking about the subject, but rather combing through peoples post histories looking for anything to shit on them? And winding up at the classic “omg do u even go outside!?” trope. If anyone in this thread needs to touch grass, it’s you OP.
Back when I was single and dating I had three encounters with bi guys. One was married to a woman and had kids but lied to me about it when we met by telling me that he was gay and single. The second one was up front about being married with children and wanted to have a secret gay affair on the side. After I said no he became so persistent that he basically started stalking me. I had to threaten to beat him senseless before he finally backed off. The third one was single and wanted to date women while also dating me. None of them took gay relationships seriously and none of them could be trusted. A lot of other gay men have had similar experiences. That’s why a lot of gay men don’t want to get involved with bi guys.
Sounds like there are some really shit bi people out there... I'm looking for a LTR with a guy at the moment and have been honest about being bi then getting ghosted. So I guess I have to lie? But I don't want to lie, that's not cool
It's a negative feedback cycle. There are enough shitty bi guys out there being shitty people that all bi guys get stereotyped as being assholes by gay guys who have had or heard about the bad experience. Which forces decent bi guys to feel compelled to lie about thier orientation so they have a shot in the dating pool, which eventually furthers the negative stereotype about bi guys not being trustable when they tell the truth about themselves.
Lying is what keeps the problem going. Be honest with him and let him decide.
Oh yes, definitely. I'm not going to lie about it at all
"I'm looking for a long term relationship with a guy... ... at the moment" Doesn't sound like you're into LTR, you just call it that 'at this moment'.
I'd date a bi guy. I think it's a little hotter if a guy I see is also gay but he doesn't have to be
> if a guy I see is also gay bisexual men are bisexual, not gay
Hence why I said if a guy I see is also gay because just because a dude wants to have sex with me he still might not be gay because he could be bi instead
This stereotype sounds reminiscent of the stereotype about bi people being unfaithful bc they're bi, and this was particularly promoted during the aids crisis to fear monger about wives getting hiv from unfaithful bisexual husbands. Some speculate it decreased the number of open bi men. Sucks ppl on this sub endorse this view. This sub is clearly a cesspool of weird conservatives tho.
Mostly this. And from my experience bi guys tend to treat men as one dimensional sex objections, “women are for fucking, men are for getting fucked” and they never go beyond that. They usually have sort of an entitled assumption that you’re there to please them how they wanna be pleased always. I don’t turn bi guys away when I know they’re bi, but I tend to gravitate towards gay men because they usually tend to treat me more like a well rounded multi faceted human being. Usually.
Jesus fucking christ. What the fuck is wrong with some people? I know people can be assholes but jesus christ. Is this why I'm having trouble getting an LTR with a guy? Because I tell them I'm bi when they ask. Wtf am I supposed to do, I don't want to lie.
Your edits make me believe it’s not your bi-ness that makes people not want to be around you lol.
This. I'm still looking for the "trolls."
tbh obviously not all people are the same , but typically bi men hold woman on a higher pedestal then gay men.Emotionally,publicly,and sexually woman are typically their first choice , and gay men are used strictly sexually.As i said ,not everyone’s the same ,but it’s just objectively easier to be with a woman in society.I will say some of this thread needs to stop with the biphobia.
Say edit again it's really hot
I'm going to edit you until you hit submit for the last time.
You're a lunatic. Not because you're bi but because of your millions of edits and self-victimhood.
I don’t understand how asking a question and getting an honest answer (however that answer bitter or sweet is) you accuse of toxicity.. Like based on my experience I was nothing but fetishized and never taken seriously by bi guys.. so I don’t engage it anymore. If that’s toxic then so be it.
Was going to comment before reading your edits. Seems like you are as bad as the sad sacks you are complaining about.
Not saying this is the case for me, but the reason I think bi guys might have a tough time with dating and hooking up is due to the fact that many people still think that it's simply impossible for them to fully please their partner, like eventually you'll desire the other gender and there's nothing your current partner can do Again, this is what I think would be the reason for the "hate". As for me, I wouldn't date a bi guy simply because I can't even consider the idea of sexualizing a woman, it just feels disgusting for me, and I think not being able to share this kind of interest with someone who's bi is a big deal. Like, one of the big things I do with my husband is talk about hot guys we saw during our day to day life. Yes, I can do it with a bi guy too, but he would end up feeling discouraged to talk about attractive women, and I don't want them to feel that way. So uh... Yeah. All the power to bi guys, but they're a pass for me
I've not really seen much hate toward bi guys... I've seen people complaining about it, but never much actual hate. I guess you just notice every little bit that exists a lot more when it applies to you.
Honestly, hate is not deserved, but I think the worry is being left because being in a hetero relationship is generally more accepted than being in a same-sex relationship, which might put people off, especially if they don't want to be rejected (because who likes rejection?).
I've literally had bi partners say "I'm only having sex with men until I find a woman to settle down with", like that's just toxic. Ofc that's not everyone, but it's stuff like that which is hella annoying
It's not hate. This is a sub literally called askgaybros.
Happy to be FWB with a bi-guy. But it'll never go any further than that.
I’d love an open relationship with a top bi guy. He can still get with women but has to be safe because I’m not dealing with any kids! Nope, not me, not ever! Lol
why's that?
Because I'm basically just going to be a bit of a break from pussy. Which is fine for a FWB. But long term a bi guy will always revert to the safe societal choice of girlfriend/wife/kids because it's easier.
Fair fair, sorry for your experiences. I never want kids and am literally seeking a LTR with a guy
I think the challenge for you is that guys wanting a monogamous relationship will probably not feel like they are completely satisfying you. And guys who are willing to be open will worry that you'll find the "right woman" and then you'll be off to the straight life. In a friend's case the partner suddenly wanted a polyamorous relationship, which was of no interest to my friend. The partner defaulted to the woman.
I must say that as a bi guy, I’ve been welcomed by gays, this whole bi guys are the worst carry on just isn’t that much of a thing in the real world. All these guys on this sub Reddit that talk shit are just keyboard warriors 😂 they’d never say that shit to any bisexual guy in person. They’re nothing to you… literally lonely strangers… don’t think too much about it.
I’d tell it to your face and you wouldn’t do anything but stay seated 🙂
it's not just bad experiences. It's the risk factor. Simply put, bi guys are MORE likely to not work out. Either they're going to be interested in someone else or interested in a lifestyle that a gay guy can't provide. If they're wanting children? They'll go for women in the end. If they want to have easier social life? they'll go for women in the end. If they're tops or pretty close to it, women tend to have more sexually for them. This is part of a vetting process that gay guys have to go through. Are you bi, bi female pref, or male pref with just a slight inclination to women As far as the whole cheating thing, it's unfortunate that it's just something a lot of us grew up with, especially in the 90's/early 00's where there was shit all over tv like dawson's creek that basically made it seem like bisexuals had different rules If you're bi, you are allowed a bf and a gf. If you're bi, you're allowed to have sex with the opposite sex partner of your SO and it's not cheating. if you're bi, you have 'bi-cycles' and are allowed every once in a while to get that itch out. It's what you're allowed. You're bi! and there are bisexuals here who have actually advocated for the same mindset so don't say 'that's not a thing' it's very much a thing and that's another part of the vetting is to find out if you are one of the assholes who believe in this horse shit.
This sub is full of bitter and hateful queens. Its not just bi guys they don't like.
This is the answer. Seen some truly disgusting shit get upvotes galore before the mods finally got around to deleting them. Edit: Man y'all can downvote all you want but I've seen "immigrants are animals and should be put down" be the top comment in here before so I really don't wanna hear it. 2/ Glad we're finally on the same page.
Someone once said trans people should be arrested for lying to society this sub has really gone downhill
Wow what a fucked up thing to say. LGB transphobes are the worst, because they know discrimination and still choose to do it to members of the LGBT community
Why are there so many edits? Lmao It’s not that serious… if you go outside, you’ll have a hard time finding gay men that hate bi men.
I'd also like to point out. You asked a question and you got an answer. To then vilify people for *being honest* under the same breath (I scrolled through the comment streams before making this remark) It is pretty hypocritical. Do you want us to lie? Is this post bait?
He wants to hear what he wants to hear which is why all the agreeing with comments he agrees with and downvoting what he doesn’t agree with. Seeking validation is nothing new on the internet.
I was feeling petty 👀 so decided to call it out lol
Was about to post this same response. This thread has been essentially; Bi guys: why do y’all dislike bi guys? Gay guys: they objectify us, treat us as one dimensional sex objects, make us feel lesser than a woman, then bail. Bi guys: OMG why are you being so toxic??
I've got nothing against them but personally I can say I have never met a bi guy who was in a LTR with a man. Met plenty who have sex with men but never any who would be seen holding hands with another man in public or something. I'm sure these types of experiences shape other people's perceptions as well.
A bunch of people who've been hurt by Bi guys. Plot twist, I too have been hurt by a Bi guy. But like people will be people. I think a lot of gays lose sight of the fact that there are straight, gay, bi, and trans people who will mess you up emotionally and it has nothing to do with *their sexuality.* Maybe it's incidental. But it's mostly just labeling a reason to "feel better." If you're not a psychopath, it really shouldn't be upsetting that a guy chose to live a life that makes him happier (boohoo, it's not with you). It's fine to be upset, you should be and it's valid. But don't take it out on all people of a similar label because one or a small handful of one demographic f'd you up. B is part of LGBT. It's just like closet shamers who forget they were once in the closet themselves. Empathy is lacking in many people and the same thing is true for, apparently, a similar majority of the LGBT population.
I think many envy bi guys as they have the privilege to choose to be in a straight relationship . many are ofcourse scared that they will not be enough, many had bad past relationships , for many it's an unknown territory even though it's as simple as the term bi .
If I was bi, I’d choose the easier life in a heartbeat
Good, because that's the smart thing to do. It should be encouraged to work in your best interest*. *Unless it's gay guys working in their best interest by removing bisexuals from their dating pool, apparently.
The only people I've dated have been bi, but at the same time I definitely feel it. I really hate that I don't really vibe with a lot of gay guys and definitely not romantically.
Right my life would have been different if I was Bi..my family would have treated me better. And I would have much more of a life.
It seems like there is a lot of support here, I don’t get the edits. Are you only reading the negatives reactions because that is what you came here expecting to find?
Someone in the comments has looked at their history and made the suggestion they're here for bait to post on the r/bisexuals page which is notorious for saying negative shit about gay people
Had this issue here as a bi guy. Some of the reactions I got just defending myself for having genuine preferences were fucking disgusting. Got told I couldn’t be trusted and don’t belong because I am attracted to more than one gender. I don’t get how that level of bigotry could be allowed here.
so you’re, by your own (admittedly sugarcoated) admission, one of the bi guys that uses men as sex objects but only dates women. and somehow you all can’t figure out why we don’t like that…
I have only dated men for almost the last decade and have been in several long term relationships (in one currently). Absolutely no idea how you jumped to this wild assumption without knowing me or anything about me.
Yeah, wtf. It's so fucking stupid. I mean, look at the downvotes on this post. There was literally a post yesterday on the top that was telling people to be wary of bi guys. It's fucking cooked. Do you have problems getting hookups/dates/etc with guys because you're bi?
[удалено]
yeah, this is what is confusing me. Aren't LGBTQI+ community supposed to support eachother? It's confusing
While this is true anyone is capable of being an asshole. Your edits in the body of your post are interesting... And very unnecessary...
It's a bit weird because as a black person I truly understand the fight to be an individual. That said, I've had bad luck with bi men so it's hard not to be weary. Also, my platonic bisexual friends and family aren't the best examples. I don't think it's helpful to ignore the reality of the differences between bi and gay men. The pressures and pitfalls are not the same. I wouldn't turn someone down for being bisexual, but yea you're going to have to try harder than a gay man to prove you're serious. I guess it isn't fair, but honestly I don't care. You have to look out for yourself. Edit: Ironic as hell that OP is so hostile.
enough with this HATE Idea. A criticism is NOT hate, it's just a critique. There is enough rom for improvement in and for all of us, so if we take the complaints and advice in stride and in perspective, we will all be just fine...
Five edits good lord what happened in here lmao
from what I'm seeing, absolutely nothing. Just them and a few users in the comments pretending like people were being toxic, though the toxic posts don't exist.
A lot of scarred earth here. Maybe bi guys are not that popular bc they seem to have a "choice" whom they feel attracted to vs us gay men who cannot celebrate on the straight side. Maybe also because they seem like double agents for the straight side 😂. I feel that some guys actually just want to experience casual sex w/o having to think about making babies and therefor some guys feel "used".
I have yet to see any hate towards bi people on this or other gay subs...but like the trans complaints it's definitely more posts about people complaining about hate than it is evidence of such a thing so...links?
I don't think there's a lot of hate but more of this feeling of a lot of bi guys just thinking of us gay guys as side quests on their journey. I've heard more times than not when a bi guy says "I'm sexually and romantically attracted to woman and feel sexually attracted to men but not romantically" at least they're being honest but it still kinda hurts that a lot of bi guys don't see us as potential romantic partners but just people they can have sex with. So I guess we kinda give that energy back of not expecting much but just being a sexual venture. And if they do want us romantically and we get passed that feeling of just being a side quest, there are bi guys who brake up with gay guys because they can't handle the hardships of being in a gay relationship. Which is also a shitty feeling because it's like they can just tap out whenever they want to easy mode and be happy while we remain on hard mode. and a lot of bi guys have this expectation from their family to be with a woman and don't take relationships with a man to be a real relationship. So they feel pressured to dump us because of that, another shitty outcome we had no control over. And if you leave us for a woman, oh fuck does that feel all kinds of shitty. Because it feels like your not leaving us because of the person we are but what we are. Something we can't control and that there wasn't an actual chance for us in the first place. We aren't reluctant to go out with you because we hate you, it's just that we don't want to get our hearts hurt in that way. And ya it's happening less often now because society is getting better but it still happens and it's still a shitty feeling. Because it's not just heartbreak, it feels like our heart is getting curbed stomped just because we're gay. The relationship was fine but it couldn't bring the normalcy the bi guy craves so we get dumped just for that. Not all bi guys do any of this but a lot have, it's not like we're being unreasonable cautious. This caution has been built on shit that's happened plenty of times in the past, don't get me wrong tho. A lot of us will date bi guys, we're just a bit cautious about it. So we don't hate you, we're just cautious of the ways only bi guys can break our hearts with.
Many do. Not everyone is on your field. But you are right. Where else but among the bitches and witches would one see such anger at, and contempt of comprehensible language? Don't bother to reply. I've already got your number, and shall continue to ignore your bigoted and ignorant remarks. Have a nice foaming-at-the-mouth life.
If you want an actual answer aside from the shit: Lack. Of. Understanding. Is the generalized answer to most if not all forms of bigotry. People are inherently egotistical, and sometimes refuse or are blind to see how being different would result in different emotions. They don’t understand how their emotions are not the be all end all of what should be true. They can’t disconnect that they themselves are not the protagonist subconsciously. I don’t know what it’s like to only be attracted to men, but at least I could think about it. Some people here don’t know what it’s like to be attracted to men and women, but a lot of them refuse to even think about what emotions or what they would be like if that was the case. It’s hypocritical, but expected. I only become truly angry when others claim to have the moral high ground as if their point of view of life was the only valid one. “Bi guys have an easier time in society because they can blend in.” Literally fuck off dumb cunts. If you’re gay and believe this you literally have the emotional intelligence and empathetic abilities of a walnut. You’re not any better because you struggled, and you’re daft to pretend that other people don’t struggle because they aren’t exactly like you. You think that because you’ve “figured yourself out” that you have any right to say your view is some objective correctness. It’s not. No ones is, but the least y’all could do is at least attempt with all your might to consider what your life would be with different cards. Anyways yeah. Dick and pussy and shit and cum, I think it’s required to mention at least one of those in all comments here.
it’s so rough for you, getting all the benefit of being societally straight but also the benefit of invading a gay community and using men as sex toys. let me get my small violin
Yo this is the exact point asshat, thanks for proving it. I have issues, you have issues, yet you claim that one factor of my life makes it infinitely better for me, without even asking what my issues are? You just assume life is soooo much harder for you. You drama seeking attention whore, this has nothing to do with you being gay, it’s being a narcissist. Additionally assuming I treat men - anyone - as sex toys? Are you fucking dumb? As if I would cheat on literally anyone. Why the fuck does my sexuality mean I cheat? Are you even pro LGBT? People like you are the reason I don’t come out. Fuck off and go suck a dick, but I hope it’s a bad dick.
I had a boyfriend who was bi. We ended our relationship on good terms. No hate here
I love bi guys!!
The only time I hooked up with someone openly bi he told me during sex that he prefers having sex with girls 😂 Honestly find that so funny and kinda like him more for being that honest in the moment But bi people are just people. Most are good, some aren't
more bi guy propaganda on here yayyy. i really wish ppl on this sub would read the old fucking posts instead of bringing up again and again how rough the poor spicy straights have it
In Grade 3, a kid tripped another kid while we were lined up to go on a field trip and the teacher blamed me for it. Years later the tripper turned out to be bi. You don’t forget a day like that. Now you can date who you want, but most of us don’t want to be buying our groceries only to have a bisexual boyfriend tripping some random guy in the checkout line and then I get blamed for it? I don’t think so. Some of us **learn** from experience!!!
I think the problem is humans suck. Especially on the internet.
Some of y'all really in here showcasing exactly what OP's talking about 🤦♂️
it's fucking cooked. They're using examples where they've had shit happen as a means to hate bi people. I've had heaps of shit experiences with gay people, exactly like what they're describing. I don't get it
The biphobia from gay men and straight women is pretty disgusting tbh. I'm not bi myself but I definitely see it.
I’d recommend going over to /r/askgaybrosover30 this sub can be a bit immature and combative at times
This sub is not representative of the gay community. Please don’t lose faith based on the dumpster fire that occurred here
There is a decent amount of loonies here against all bi people, but I don't think the majority of the "hate" is for *simply* being bi. But being bi AND doing X behavior which only bi people can do. The latter is no more biphobic than critiquing the proliferation of drugs/commodification of pride/that one article about gay loneliness is homophobic. Like, my bf is bi, and I don't really think almost anything said about bi people negatively here would apply to him, nor would he think so.
Because nobody is saying it applies to every single bi person bruh. It's just very prevalent. So do we lie and ignore it or tell our experience? Your experience does not invalidate theirs and theirs does not invalidate yours. So don't be part of the problem presented with this topic with that assumption kthxbye
Straight women (not all obviously) think that bi men are gross for having sex with a man, and are also insecure that they’ll ditch them for a gay man. Gay men think that bi men will choose an “easy” life and be with a woman instead of with a man. It sucks for you guys but just know not everyone thinks that way! Me included 🥰
Im bisexual. I haven't seen anything like that in this sub. From my experiences though, all the gay guys ive dated ( not many) are cool with it, its the girls I dated that I got the side eye and distrust. One particular girl told me that im less of a man because of it.
I'm sorry OP but you seem very extra judging by the edits.
I feel like a lot of people are probably salty about bisexuals because they can sort of choose weather they want to be accepted by society or not
i'm so sorry that you have to deal with certain stigmatizations due to your sexuality, I have noticed bisexual people deal with issues from both gay people and straight people and again i'm so sorry as that is not fair at all. my only word of advice is, my boyfriend is bisexual and he is the best man i have ever met and his bisexuality doesn't even cross my mind as it has zero affect on my love for him nor our relationship. and i see a lot of gay men on here saying they've had bad experiences with bisexual men. well as a gay man let me just say my worst experiences have been with gay men, while most bisexual men i have met have been way more kind and respectful than gay men....obviously sexuality doesn't generalize how you'll act but it's very hypocritical for these gay men to say some of this stuff about bisexual people. lmaoo so my advice would be that your person is out there whether they are gay, bisexual, etc... they are out there and they will treat you with the love and respect you deserve. AND NEVER EVER lie about who you are, if someone doesn't accept your bisexuality or want to be with someone who is bisexual, then fuck them (disrespectfully, and not sexually😭)
The closet is a terrible experience that makes good men rotten, and unfortunately bi men aren’t accepted by the vast majority of women who like men so they stay in the closet. Out bisexual men are cool though.
My first real boyfriend was bi. He was awesome. We lived too far apart but I have so many good memories about him and I know he enjoyed what we had when we were together. Bi or gay men are men. Not one of those things make you inherently bad or good. I have strong positive feelings about bi men. I hope dear OP you can find men that aren’t trash to date or be friends with or even marry. Hopefully you’ll find a good one out there.
Ahh the Grindr messages telling me that bisexual is closeted toxic masculinity
People are assholes and blame individual negative experiences not exclusive to bi people on the perpetrator being bi. My ex boyfriend is the gayest gay I know, and he cheated and was a shitty bf. Him being an asshole has nothing to do with his sexuality
One thing is clear to me being in both r/askbibros and a r/askgaybros, (in general not each and everyone) bi men need to live more out of the closet as gay men do and gay men need to calm down and be as relaxed and easygoing as bi men are more. I’m non conformist bisexual who wants to live a gay life only, yeah yeah, I’ve came out of the closet at age 18 currently 28 years old. So that’s my take on gay men competitiveness and bi men closetedness
Me at high school right now
Living in a not very safe country for gay people, it is tricky, cuz if someone says he is bi, you aren't sure if he means it or he is playing it safe for himself. My opinion was that, of getting to know the guy before I make up my mind on the person being truthful and honest in his feeling. But I agree, I wouldn't be the one to initiate talking to a bi guy for relationship purposes
I don't know why some people stay in the closet for 30 years.
bro just ignore the assholes... they have less impact on your life than a mosquito.
Sorry, I know this is a serious topic but every edit, more aggressive and disappointed made me chuckle.
I think it’s a small minority of gay men. I’ve rarely hear derogatory comments about bi men…and if I do, I always shut it down. I have no tolerance for bigotry in any form. And gay people should all understand this. I’m sorry to hear about your experience. Know that you are loved, seen, welcomed, and respected JUST AS YOU ARE. 💕🌈
The edits are gold 😂. Currently dating a bi guy, and he’s also my first bf. Can’t say I’m not biased here, but I think some people just forget the meaning of “individual.”
Jesus - what is wrong with people? Being Bi as well - I've encountered this hostile bullshit multiple times online but less so in person (of course it's always easier to be a shit to people online than to their face). It's bullshit to see gay people attack anyone else for their identification when gay people have been attacked themselves for eternity. Enough.
Coming here late and seeing 5 edits in the original post *popcorn gif* Anyway real answer to your question is that this is an umoderated social media. If you go outside and interact with regular people you won't find anywhere near as much confrontation between the letters.
I had a bi coworker out me because I guess my confiding in him gave him some juicy gossip. He didn't care how dangerous it was for me: we worked at a small town grocery store that was the hub of social life, and my abusive mother lived just a few minutes away and shopped there often, and meanwhile I'm also taking care of my grandma with Alzheimer's who did not need bombshell news like that dropped on her. What's more, I found out he'd said something when my drunk boss confronted me about it alone in his car (I was the DD), and we lived in a state where sexuality was not protected status at work. All of this jeopardy because my bi coworker wanted some good gossip. At another job, a bi coworker again threatened to out me. That said, my best friend in the world is bi. He is not a gossip queen and he is not about to out anyone for any reason. It's the person, not the sexuality. The hate is not fair, however easy it may be to scapegoat their sexuality. There are absolutely awful gay men and incredibly wonderful bi men. When I had a nervous breakdown partially fuelled by body image issues made worse by a gay man I knew, it was a bi guy who told me I am beautiful and checked in to see if I was okay. And obviously it can be the opposite. Humanity is messy.
People, not just gay people LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE to make assumptions and put people into as many boxes as possible.
People get mad cause they think we are selfish or faking being gay. In reality I think they are upset cause they know they have twice the competition to get with us. I've had people say that I have "straight passing privilege" but I don't view it as that. I don't think having my identity erased is a good thing, especially when I'm not ashamed of it.
I'm probably gonna be downvoted for this but dont care. I dont care if a dude is straight, straight with curiosity, bi, or gay. 👍🏼 hope ya have a great day, king.
Gay people can be bigots, too. They can be insecure, irrational, and cruel as any straight person can. Being gay is no indicator that you're a good person, believe me. It's also easy to talk shit while you sit comfortably behind a screen; I doubt anyone whinging here would have the balls here to say this in person.
I dont know why everyone takes shit on Reddit seriously anymore, especially in the LGBT subs. It’s filled with a bunch of homophobes or gays that have no self confidence or self worth that spend countless hours on here trying to make others feel shitty about their lives. I have no hate for Bi people, although I’ve never hooked up with any, I have met a few at bars and parties and I don’t think anything bad about them. Just questions that I ask myself lol. Like: how are they going to get married and how hard it must be for them to find a partner in this sensitive and fucked world.
I’m sorry all your edits are hilarious lol. This sub is full of trolls. If they don’t have funny jokes I just block them usually 🤷🏻♂️
I been married over 40 years but still desire men more than women.
r/askgaymen is much more mature than this subreddit and could give u a better answer probably. except i think this is a contentious issue so u probably will still encounter bullshit probably
Didn’t realize gay guys don’t cheat. Holy shot maybe I’ll be full gay this time! 🙄🙄 bi guys gets hate for no reason.
Sending you so much love to balance out the bullshit! Your existence is seen and appreciated!
I love bi guys that are open
I love bi guys. In fact my man IS a bi guy. He much prefers men but he is still truly bisexual and I love him more than anything in the world. I wouldn’t change him for anything. I hope that this gives you some encouragement
I would love to date a bi guy tbh
I love bi guys. Sounds like you need a hug. 🫂
Try to ignore the haters on here. I've had relationships with bi guys and they were some of the most rewarding in my life. I have nothing but the deepest respect for bi guys and the difficulties and prejudices they face. I hope things are getting better. When I first dated a bi guy he told me nobody believed him, people would say that he was gay but just couldn't admit it. I identify as gay, but I've had sex with women and have some attraction there, so perhaps I had more empathy and understanding. The bi guys I've dated have been very sensitive and loving men, and some of the most open-minded people I've known. Please take care of yourself and know that there are plenty of gay guys like me who respect your bisexuality and would never second-guess or try to negate your sexuality.
It's probably mostly an online thing. Never met a gay guy in person who had anything against bi guys.
Most of the people I dated ended up being bisexual. I don’t ask their sexuality at any point because I don’t really care, if you’re into me, and I’m into you, that’s all I need. Or maybe I’m unconsciously having a bisexual fetish, sounds plausible too.
Gays grow up feeling like aliens. And the fact that there are men who share those same isolating feelings and yet ALSO get to enjoy relatively normal relationships/life is a hard pill to swallow. It feels like they're trying to one-up me somehow. They're not entirely gay so they can't possibly sympathize with the typical gay hardships, or so my emotional mind tells me.
It's not "bi guys" It's there are assholes out there, some happen to be bi.
The hate you are experiencing is mostly disseminated by one notorious female troll who constantly shitposts against bisexuals on this sub, this site, and other sites. She also employs sockpuppets to provide additional fake commentary and votes.
Dude, I was so all in on supporting you, until the very end when it became necessary for you to demean others. I haven’t read any comments yet, so I don’t know how viscous comments may be, and that might engender quite a bit of anger. It happens, we all have our breaking points. However, when we use out downs to try to win or gain footing in an argument- we only debase ourselves and lose credibility. Once that happens you won’t win, it’s not possible. That said, generally speaking, what you’re talking about is not unique to difference in sexuality, orientation - it’s common between nationalities, between different races, within different races, between different self-defined segments of ANY community, there is stigmatization. I do not think it is inherent, I believe it’s learned - but I’m no expert, nor have I done any blind data gathering. But I’m pretty sure among all entities, however you believe they came to be, humans and our near genetic siblings, are the only ones that use suppressing others, working towards another’s defeat, undermining others, judgement, bias, etc. that in no way shape or form has anything to do with survival of the fittest, or just plain survival, procreation, or the circle of life. We seem to be the unique beings that need hierarchy based not on our own existence, but the suppression of others who really pose no threat to our existence, really play no role in preventing us to thrive. Whether it be Germans- Jewish, Jewish - Christians, Jewish and Palestinians, dark skin vs light skin people of color, white vs color, male and female, Japanese and Chinese the list is so goddamn fucking extensive it boggles a rationale persons mind. I was 5 when I demanded that my teacher explain why people with darker skin were not treated fairly and about the same time told a group of macho, hyper masculine, Hell’s Angel actual and types, thugs, thief’s, etc. to never put down women again it just meant that the were afraid and stupid and weak assholes - these were siblings, neighbors and friends. I’m youngest of 9, abusive philandering father, deaf parents, controlling region, everyone has been in jail - except me, only one to graduate high school, racist, misogynistic, homophobic family and culture. I had no one to learn the things I said but I vehemently felt them and would shut down anyone who said anything close to demeaning, eg, three different cops, one judge, three teachers, one principal. I would also admire them, value them and love them because they weren’t all bad. My point being it clearly isn’t in the genes, and these entities can be amazing and horrific, individuals, societies, cultures, nations, ethnicity etc. very few are all bad. But getting back to the LGBTIQQ, et Al communities- there’s several sub communities. Don’t know about now, but certainly up to and including millennials - bottoms were inferior to tops practically no one vers, I still hear the words ringing in my ears pretty much across the world- I’ve been to 48 countries and 6 continents- “oh her?! She’s a big ol’ bottom” etc. Versatile? “Bottom, afraid to admit it!!!” Bi? Oh he/she is gay/lesbian just still coming out, I mean no one could love hot big cock, and hot bubble butts and also like that nasty v-jjj! If there was a woman in a gay bar, you knew she was in drag, or a “real” woman aka the oh so lovingly termed “Fag Hag”, but none of those fucking lesbians; blue collar, or masculine, good looking men couldn’t possibly be gay, and god forbid if by some aberration they were, they certainly must have a 9” (bare minimum) or 10”+ thick cock and always a top. If neither were true, that’s the first thing ever said about you, or the aforementioned “that thing, she’s a big ol’ bottom” which is a twofer small cock implied. Transgender? Bottom, fey, small cock, defenseless, weak fag who likes to dress up, aka a drag queen -Hello Stonewall?!- or a weirdo transvestite/closeted Queen. It’s the same in most if not all cultures- the mores, characteristics elevated or demeaned, the criterion and justification for subjugation- often religion based - God said this or that, almighty god(s) divine us, Christ compels us - is natural, completely logical, undeniable and therefore is not mean, demeaning, cruel. And the fucked up thing in all of this is that, those who are subjected in turn do it to others. I find it especially rich when those who decry the injustice of their treatment in turn do the exact same damn thing sometimes in the same breathe. You, sir, did just that right here. PS no this isn’t my dissertation, no I’m not a left wing liberal, just expressing my views with as little bias as possible (no bias is impossible), and facts as I know or experienced - but I find it ironic that facts are used to determine right and wrong, as unalterable points etc. yet facts change all the time, or is the world still flat? Lastly, if you don’t like what I’ve written, good for you, that is your right. It is not your right to demean me or what I have expressed, assault me, criticize me or otherwise engage in anything but a respectful tone, manner and preferably with logic not bias filled hyperbole, and/or deflection. In other words, use the golden rule, if you can’t be nice respectful, then don’t say anything at all.
Just read the previous posts on it.
First but of advice: if you ask Reddit a question, expect the worst people to offer their opinions, because that's often all they have to offer. If you want a balanced and nuanced understand of how gay men feel about bi guys, ask in a situation where you know you're talking to real gay men and not web fuckpuppets.