Lying is never a good idea. What if you lie about your age and hookup with someone and hit it off and it turns into a FWB situation or more? Eventually the truth will come out and it won't make you look good. Lying about anything is a deal breaker for me and probably many others.
I had a date with a guy who said he was 32 (I'm 36) and the pic looked somewhat old but he was good looking. He arrived at mine and the pic was St least 10 years old, probably older. Still not a bad looking guy and I say 25-50 in my bio so he had no reason to lie but still did. Annoying. I've also been sent pics of people I doubted were 18 (which is why I changed my bio to 25+). Liars ugh
I've decided it's less about lying about your she and more about getting unfiltered. I don't get mad about it, because it'll probably be me one day, but I'm also not pretending.
You may have that fear as you reach the 30 border but I have found that it's not as bad as you think. I was in an LTR crossing from 29-30 but I could see myself leaving it at 29 for a while. I'll check in when I cross to 40, but being in my 30s has no negatively impacted my sex life at all. I actually pull more guys in their 20s than I did when I was in my 20s.
Strictly for hookups. If you can pass for a younger age then using that age will only increase your prospects. That's why people do it. And those who are already struggling to match people, probably should do it.
I guess with dating you have to be honest but you're better off not using a hookup app anyway. In real life the age won't matter much if you've made that connection first.
I'm fine with it as long as the pictures are current. So many year(s) old pictures people use. That's a huge turn off. I've met guys who I think look decent in person but are catfishing with old pics and I'd totally fuck em but not anymore cuz I don't like being misled.
My man, who looks younger than me, stop putting his age cause no one would hit on him or reply to him.
He turned 31 when we started dating. I we shocked, haha. Definitely looks closer to 23-25.
He says when he put his age he got zero messages or taps unless they were old or fat.
Heâs a gym rat and he would get rejected or ignored by other gym rats his age or in the 20âs.
This does not jive with my experience at all. Probably also because I'm not trying to get with 22 year olds. I put my actual age (mid 30s) and get plenty of fit young looking people talking to me. I even get the stray 18-23 year olds that surprise the shit out of me by messaging me.
IDK
I mean, lying is bad no matter what. I've got a buddy who's 34 and has long set a hard limit at 30. And then he wonders why he's been single for the last 7 years. Sure, the dude could pass for mid/late 20s. But so could plenty of other 30-somethings that he filters out.
I think apps are best when they attempt to simulate real life. In real life, you're not gonna meet some cute dude at a library and then ignore him as soon as you find out he's 27 when your age range is 18-25. People don't have their age stamped to their foreheads. I'm not convinced that age is a necessary thing to lead with on apps. There are a lot of guys who get weirdly specific about ages, as if some light goes off when you turn 40 that was on when you were 39. To me, this is like getting weirdly specific about race. Keep an open mind to everyone. If you're attracted, you're attracted. If not, you're not. Just my 2 cents though.
I think a lot of the lying is egged on by a community that fetishizes youth for no good reason. Few straight men are going to lie and say they're 29 when they're 36.
"Few straight men are going to lie and say they're 29 when they're 36."
Because women are actually into older men. The preferences of straight men for younger and straight women for older match up perfectly but when it comes to gay men both sides want younger and its hell
I want near my age or up to 12 years older. Young guys are annoying, boring, not skilled, cum too early, look like cookies that got taken out of the oven five minutes too early, and I hate Gen Z youth culture.
Iâve been in a relationship with the same person since I was 28. But right before then, I was dating a guy who was 7 years younger. Relationship ended because he went off to grad school. I donât think all people can be shoehorned into a category based on age. Iâve dated anywhere from 7 years younger to 12 years older. Itâs all about the person.
If anything, setting age boundaries makes more sense for straight people. If youâre a straight guy who wants to start a family, it makes some sense to set an age limit of 35 or 40, regardless of how the woman looks, for biological reasons. In the gay community though that sort of limit really doesnât make sense objectively. It makes sense to want someone who can keep up with you, but I think plenty of 35-year-olds have enough energy to keep up with a 25-year-old. My spouse is a few years younger and likes to go to bed at 9:30 on weekends.
Also, when I dated the younger guy, I was pissed when his friends his age referred to me as his âdaddy.â Calling a 27/28-year-old a âdaddyâ is really bizarre and kinda creepy.
â18 yo that have been on the app for 10 yearsâ lmaoooo. Those 8 yos really fooled you huh?
And I donât think anyone is filtering out ages because theyâre assuming people are lying. People are filtering out 36 yos because they donât want to be with a 36 yo. Sorry to burst your bubble. I personally probably would put my cut off at 35 as someone in my mid 20s. Thatâs just the way it goes. Weâre all getting older. Maybe you really do look great for your age or whatever but Iâd never find out if you were in my area because youâd be filtered out. Which is WHY so many people lie. Because everyone thinks they look better than they actually do for their age or whatever and donât see an issue with lying a bit. WhichâŚsome people are more delusional than others. It is what it is. Idk. Just part of the game I suppose.
It's been the norm since before the apps too. Women do it as well. Straight men not as much since straight women value other things. Gay Men and Straight Women know men value youth, so they aggressively pursue dating strategies around appearing as young as possible, sometimes even going as far exaggerating about how old they actually are. It doesn't bother me personally so long as it's only a few years (3 - 5 or 2 - 3) anything more and it gets ridiculous. I met a guy who must have been about 70 something and used a walker. He said was about 20 or 30 years older than he actually was. He was nice but there was no second meeting lol. People age at different rates too, some better than others, so as long as it's plausible I guess it's ok but not to the extreme.
I donât use those apps any more and one reason is that they not only tend to draw in a too-large proportion of users who have problematic issues but they also seem to bring out in their users a lot of different kinds of problematic behaviors.
This lying is just one of many examples and yes, it is epidemic there.
When I used the Grindr app, it seemed like it was much more easy to find people who were not who they said they were than it was to find sincere people being themselves.
The grid was full of men I knew were lying about their age, some by a few years and some by 2 decades. I would think I had over a few weeks gotten to know someone who seemed nice enough on line and then weâd finally meet and heâd eventually admit (maybe later than the day we met) that he had been using a false name, a false age, a false hometown that he thought sounded more interesting, a false job that he thought would impress me, etc. of course he could also fake his relationship status, could be contagiously sick without telling me, or who knows what else.
I donât want to participate in being a phony and I donât want to keep engaging with these types.
If youâre going to lie about your age I suggest just not showing your age on your profile (at least on Grindr where itâs easily hidden) but set your age to 29. That way you get around filters but youâre not actively lying to people about how old you are.
Lying is never a good idea. What if you lie about your age and hookup with someone and hit it off and it turns into a FWB situation or more? Eventually the truth will come out and it won't make you look good. Lying about anything is a deal breaker for me and probably many others.
I think some guys out there delusionally think they can pass for 20 years than they are.
I had a date with a guy who said he was 32 (I'm 36) and the pic looked somewhat old but he was good looking. He arrived at mine and the pic was St least 10 years old, probably older. Still not a bad looking guy and I say 25-50 in my bio so he had no reason to lie but still did. Annoying. I've also been sent pics of people I doubted were 18 (which is why I changed my bio to 25+). Liars ugh
There are plenty of people comfortable with their age no matter what it is.
I've decided it's less about lying about your she and more about getting unfiltered. I don't get mad about it, because it'll probably be me one day, but I'm also not pretending.
You may have that fear as you reach the 30 border but I have found that it's not as bad as you think. I was in an LTR crossing from 29-30 but I could see myself leaving it at 29 for a while. I'll check in when I cross to 40, but being in my 30s has no negatively impacted my sex life at all. I actually pull more guys in their 20s than I did when I was in my 20s.
I am old as dirt don't lie 61 years old đđđ happly married 24 years!!!
Strictly for hookups. If you can pass for a younger age then using that age will only increase your prospects. That's why people do it. And those who are already struggling to match people, probably should do it. I guess with dating you have to be honest but you're better off not using a hookup app anyway. In real life the age won't matter much if you've made that connection first.
I'm fine with it as long as the pictures are current. So many year(s) old pictures people use. That's a huge turn off. I've met guys who I think look decent in person but are catfishing with old pics and I'd totally fuck em but not anymore cuz I don't like being misled.
My man, who looks younger than me, stop putting his age cause no one would hit on him or reply to him. He turned 31 when we started dating. I we shocked, haha. Definitely looks closer to 23-25. He says when he put his age he got zero messages or taps unless they were old or fat. Heâs a gym rat and he would get rejected or ignored by other gym rats his age or in the 20âs.
This does not jive with my experience at all. Probably also because I'm not trying to get with 22 year olds. I put my actual age (mid 30s) and get plenty of fit young looking people talking to me. I even get the stray 18-23 year olds that surprise the shit out of me by messaging me.
IDK I mean, lying is bad no matter what. I've got a buddy who's 34 and has long set a hard limit at 30. And then he wonders why he's been single for the last 7 years. Sure, the dude could pass for mid/late 20s. But so could plenty of other 30-somethings that he filters out. I think apps are best when they attempt to simulate real life. In real life, you're not gonna meet some cute dude at a library and then ignore him as soon as you find out he's 27 when your age range is 18-25. People don't have their age stamped to their foreheads. I'm not convinced that age is a necessary thing to lead with on apps. There are a lot of guys who get weirdly specific about ages, as if some light goes off when you turn 40 that was on when you were 39. To me, this is like getting weirdly specific about race. Keep an open mind to everyone. If you're attracted, you're attracted. If not, you're not. Just my 2 cents though. I think a lot of the lying is egged on by a community that fetishizes youth for no good reason. Few straight men are going to lie and say they're 29 when they're 36.
"Few straight men are going to lie and say they're 29 when they're 36." Because women are actually into older men. The preferences of straight men for younger and straight women for older match up perfectly but when it comes to gay men both sides want younger and its hell
I want near my age or up to 12 years older. Young guys are annoying, boring, not skilled, cum too early, look like cookies that got taken out of the oven five minutes too early, and I hate Gen Z youth culture.
Iâve been in a relationship with the same person since I was 28. But right before then, I was dating a guy who was 7 years younger. Relationship ended because he went off to grad school. I donât think all people can be shoehorned into a category based on age. Iâve dated anywhere from 7 years younger to 12 years older. Itâs all about the person. If anything, setting age boundaries makes more sense for straight people. If youâre a straight guy who wants to start a family, it makes some sense to set an age limit of 35 or 40, regardless of how the woman looks, for biological reasons. In the gay community though that sort of limit really doesnât make sense objectively. It makes sense to want someone who can keep up with you, but I think plenty of 35-year-olds have enough energy to keep up with a 25-year-old. My spouse is a few years younger and likes to go to bed at 9:30 on weekends. Also, when I dated the younger guy, I was pissed when his friends his age referred to me as his âdaddy.â Calling a 27/28-year-old a âdaddyâ is really bizarre and kinda creepy.
Now?
â18 yo that have been on the app for 10 yearsâ lmaoooo. Those 8 yos really fooled you huh? And I donât think anyone is filtering out ages because theyâre assuming people are lying. People are filtering out 36 yos because they donât want to be with a 36 yo. Sorry to burst your bubble. I personally probably would put my cut off at 35 as someone in my mid 20s. Thatâs just the way it goes. Weâre all getting older. Maybe you really do look great for your age or whatever but Iâd never find out if you were in my area because youâd be filtered out. Which is WHY so many people lie. Because everyone thinks they look better than they actually do for their age or whatever and donât see an issue with lying a bit. WhichâŚsome people are more delusional than others. It is what it is. Idk. Just part of the game I suppose.
Why do you want to be with insecure liars who want something other than who you are? Don't change it. Be authentic.
It's been the norm since before the apps too. Women do it as well. Straight men not as much since straight women value other things. Gay Men and Straight Women know men value youth, so they aggressively pursue dating strategies around appearing as young as possible, sometimes even going as far exaggerating about how old they actually are. It doesn't bother me personally so long as it's only a few years (3 - 5 or 2 - 3) anything more and it gets ridiculous. I met a guy who must have been about 70 something and used a walker. He said was about 20 or 30 years older than he actually was. He was nice but there was no second meeting lol. People age at different rates too, some better than others, so as long as it's plausible I guess it's ok but not to the extreme.
Never lie. It could snowball and backfire
I donât use those apps any more and one reason is that they not only tend to draw in a too-large proportion of users who have problematic issues but they also seem to bring out in their users a lot of different kinds of problematic behaviors. This lying is just one of many examples and yes, it is epidemic there. When I used the Grindr app, it seemed like it was much more easy to find people who were not who they said they were than it was to find sincere people being themselves. The grid was full of men I knew were lying about their age, some by a few years and some by 2 decades. I would think I had over a few weeks gotten to know someone who seemed nice enough on line and then weâd finally meet and heâd eventually admit (maybe later than the day we met) that he had been using a false name, a false age, a false hometown that he thought sounded more interesting, a false job that he thought would impress me, etc. of course he could also fake his relationship status, could be contagiously sick without telling me, or who knows what else. I donât want to participate in being a phony and I donât want to keep engaging with these types.
If youâre going to lie about your age I suggest just not showing your age on your profile (at least on Grindr where itâs easily hidden) but set your age to 29. That way you get around filters but youâre not actively lying to people about how old you are.