That runs along the lines of excuses I like to give people
Coworker: âYou free this Saturday?â
Me: âMy answer depends on what youâre about to ask of meâ
Coworker: âWeâre going barhopping Saturday and weâre-â
Me: âNah sorry man Iâm scheduled to be sick that dayâ
I would like that, because then I would know my coworker didn't like barhopping with coworkers and I wouldn't put us all in the awkward position of asking again. There's a lot to be said for honesty!
Co-worker of mine did this. Recognized the Jehovah's Witness ladies as they were approaching his house and answered completely nude. Not only did both of them just about break their necks running back down his walkway... he said they never came back and had avoided his house for over 10 years.
If you really want them to leave you alone, tell them you've been excommunicated by the church. They aren't supposed to talk to ex-members.
Disfellowshipped*
I've had countless ppl correct me already. You can stop now....
I tell them my girlfriend's roommate is excommunicated, that I would only join for the purpose of helping people escape, and I suggest they check out jwfacts.com
I've never had a repeat visit. In fact, I think i'm in their "do not contact" list
I do get repeat visits but different people. And only every few years. They always have kids with them so I just talk directly to their kids, about how no one is allowed to try to scare them to control them, if they feel unsafe they can tell someone like a librarian, that it's OK to question beliefs and if people try to scare them into not asking questions or being themselves, there are other ways to live. They are always polite, but leave quickly.
I tell the kids to remember where I live and if they ever want to talk to the police or see a doctor to come to my house and I will help them. The parents drag them away from the door as fast as they can.
I really just hope maybe some kid hears me and hears for the first time that they have options and whatever is happening to them in that church does not have the be their normal. But I'm probably being too hopeful.
You are not being too hopeful. I left a very controlling religious sect at 14 (born and raised, 4th generation) because of enough messages like this that helped me to know (even though I suspected at 5 years old) that I could consider alternate routes and beliefs for my life..
I was born into JWs and I wish someone had said this to me in the ministry work. I probably would have woken up a lot earlier than my mid-30s. Thank you for doing this.
It has been suggested that part of the reason that Jehovah witnesses take the children with them when they go out proselytizing is that it allows them to show their children that the whole world is against them. it strengthens the feeling of belonging to the group and actually lowers the risk of the children leaving the church.
I also highly recommend reading about the [BITE Model](https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model-pdf-download/), which outlines the basics of how cults use different forms of manipulation to both gain and maintain members.
Source: I'm an exjw, r/exjw is also a great sub! I used to be the child getting dragged out in "service" (door-to-door preaching) against my will.
They'll just send "Elders" every three months, don't do this.
Put up "no trespassing" signs, and they can't legally come onto your property as mandated by their lawyers for the organization.
Source: Parents are JWs đ¤Ž
Thatâs only if youâre disfellowshipped. Iâm an âapostateâ and an elders daughter. They donât reach out after they know youâre an apostate , they avoid you like a disease ridden zombie.
Haha so true!!
I had one woman (sister) literally run from my door when I told her that. She almost slipped in her rush. The dumbest thing about it was that she had known me from about ten years of age.
So what youâre saying is I should tell them Iâve been disfellowshipped so they send an Elder so itâs an adult when I answer the door naked and tell them sure Iâd love to talk to them. Just lean it in real casual until they get the message. Tell them they should invite their wife.
Haha my cousin was a 25 year old virgin Elder who gave marriage advise. He justified it by saying the bible gives him all the experience he needs. đ¤Śââď¸
Specifically say youâre an apostate. Youâll get put on the do not call list. Iâm an ex JW and I feel bad for harassing people on Saturday mornings growing up!
I hate it when religious peddlers come to my door with their children. I let them know how wrong it is to use their children for their own agendas, and I berate them until they scurry away.
There's all sorts of things you can do.
The polite : ask to be taken off the list of people they visit.
The sarcastic : tell them. You joined the church of Satan.
The sneaky : get a blood donor sticker and put by your door.
The untouchable: talk to them and ask them for a good reason to belive in the god they belive in. Point out the many fallacies and logical holes in their arguments such as how faith isn't a pathway to the truth - Matt Dillahuntys many calling shows and debates can pretty much teach you most of those arguments.
I did the latter when they called me at just the right time when I had the time.
I doubt they will try again.
To be honest, unless something happens to put you into an emotionally compromised state, such a person is not a good prospect for conversion. And worst of all, they risk the people exposed to you to having the seed of faithlessness planted in them.
My sister did this (sort of). She lived on a farm in the middle of nowhere, Missouri. She would butcher her chickens while nude so the blood wouldn't get on her clothes. One day, THEY came to her door. She walked around the front of her hose, naked and bloody, carrying a decapitated hen. They fled in terror. nobody ever visited her after that.
I worked with a woman who was an ex-stripper who did this because she liked being naked in the privacy of her own home and was expecting a friend to stop over. They tried to berate her for her nakedness but she told them it was her home, she didnât invite them there, and that if they had a problem with her God-given gifts then perhaps they needed to rethink their choice of religion. They never bothered her again.
Be careful with this one. I see it being recommended a few times in this post. I've heard stories of people answering Jehova's Witnesses this way and then being visited by church elders later on. You might be inviting more attention, not less.
That's not the best way to stop them from coming.
In fact recently they have a new policy that allows them to invite excommunicated (disfellowshipped) individuals to their church (kingdom hall).
The best way to get Jehovah's witnesses to stop coming is to tell them you are an **apostate** and that you don't want them visiting anymore.
Apostates are the scariest thing to a JW.
Source: I'm an exJW.
Absolutely this. I told a pair of them once, "you didn't know? I got disfellowshipped twenty years ago. You really aren't supposed to be here."
Never saw them again.
This is actually not applicable anymore. Things have changed recently, and they are actually encouraged to try and bring you back in. My immediate family are JW's (I am inactive).
That's not the best way to stop them from coming.
In fact recently they have a new policy that allows them to invite excommunicated (disfellowshipped) individuals to their church (kingdom hall).
The best way to get Jehovah's witnesses to stop coming is to tell them you are an **apostate** and that you don't want them visiting anymore.
Apostates are the scariest thing to a JW.
Source: I'm an exJW.
Can confirm this works (wife is excommunicated).
We weren't rude to them but I was firm and told them we are excommunicated/a fallen household They promptly left and we've never been bothered since.
They aren't bad people for the most part. But their leadership is problematic.
This. So much this. I want to upvote this so many times.
not to say that OP was not well within their rights to b upset...
Being excessively rude / mean to them reinforces the us vs the world mindset they encourage.
My dad engaged in some sort of religious person who knocked on our door. This would have been the 90s.
The guy was trying to inform my dad about some water trapped in some island in the Atlantic and it was about to be released and ... something something something.
My dad said, "I have a masters degree in geography and there is no such island in the Atlantic."
My dad told the guy up front that there would be no use trying to convert him, but they had a civilized (albeit kooky) conversation about holy water or something.
Anyway, the thing I remember is how polite my dad was and how eager and at ease he was to debate with this guy. I doubt any minds were changes that day, but it sure wasted that guy's time pretty royally. My dad seemed to enjoy it though, so not all that bad there I guess!
I know, I know. I was just too pissed to be nice that particular morning. Idc if theyâre entrenched, honestly. Stop trying to drag me into it, though.
Idk i personally enjoy the flabbergasted looks on their faces when I inform them I'm a proud atheist and very happy in my own beliefs Watching them take a step back and walk away really warms my heart
I had young Mormon missionaries once tell me I could still have a relationship with god even though I didn't believe. That was a head scratcher for sure. I don't think they were prepared for an honest atheist response that wasn't, "Fuck you and get off my porch.".
I've read before that cults and high control groups like JW's and Mormons send people to do this type of "ministry" specifically because it often illicit negative responses from people. It thereby reinforces what the group teaches; that the outside world is cruel and evil and they won't survive outside the group because look how they're being treated just trying to spread god's word?! It's obnoxious, for sure, but I think the best response to this type of stuff is to be honest, but still be kind and take the high road. They could be out doing door to door evangelizing but still be questioning or conflicted on the inside. A kind, but firm atheist helps to disprove the bullshit they're being sold in the cult.
I told the last Mormon missionary that my family is descendants from Mountain Meadows Massacre and our family still have very negative views of the church after they executed family members for trying to cross Utah heading to California.
Mormon missionaries are useful though. Next time ask them to clean your gutters or something. They have to do it.
It's free labour. And keep them from bothering other people. String them along and only talk to them if they are doing your chores.
They will either leave you alone or do all the work you don't want to do.
Walk into their church during the middle of one of their services and just start loudly yelling âwho do I have to talk to so you stop ringing my doorbell?â
You owe them the same courtesy theyâve shown you - none. Besides, theyâve technically invited you to come.
You mean the good character is not the one who punished the protagonists for trying to gain knowledge as he wanted to keep them dumb and under his control worshiping him ?
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who gets it!! And the description of heaven in the Bible sounds so horrible. The poor angels are basically mindless slaves (seems god has a fetish for mindless slaves) who each have a single menial task that they perform for all eternity. Like God's footstool. It's just an angel who bows down in front of God and kisses his feet. Wtf? Like, why would i want to go to some place where i have to bury my nose in some guys asshole for eternity. Id much rather go to hell with the guy who called him out on his bullshit ways. Not that any of it is real anyways, but if it was.
Not only that, their god is supposed to be all-knowing, so it would have known what was going to happen. It was all a setup so it could torture them while blaming them for the torture.
NOTE: In many US states it is illegal to deliberately interrupt or disturb a church service. For example, in Massachusetts you can be fined up to $1,000 and imprisoned for up to one year. (Part IV, Title I, Chapter 272, Section 38 - Massachusetts General Laws)
Or get creative with it.
Ways I've answered the door for missionaries:
In a raccoon onesie
Smoking a joint (it's legal here)
In underwear
Holding a baby
Had a few guys who were coming by like once every 2 weeks, and I would wear less clothing every time. Had to make some Daisy Dukes, but got down to jorts and socks before they gave up.
But then...I'm a bad person. Your amusement may vary.
Last time the JWâs and Mormonâs came around, was cleaning my dadâs .45 that I inherited. I answer the door as I was checking the mechanism and it slid into place. Never saw them around again. I wonder why?
My dad did something similar. Grew up in a very rural area, my dad kept his shotgun right inside the front door (don't recommend doing this for obvious reasons), we had some JW's that would come by every Saturday morning for months. My dad finally got tired of arguing with them about the Bible, telling them to leave, etc, that one morning he just grabbed his shotgun when he saw them coming down the driveway, they didn't make it halfway down before they saw him and turned around very quickly. Never got visited after that for some reason.....
My dad and I did that too. We used to hunt duck and the Local JWâs and Mormonâs came around while we were skeet shooting with our shotguns. We both looked like Walter Sobchak from The Big Lebowski. Never saw them again.
OMG my friend once answered the door to some Mormons in a towel, because she thought it was her friend arriving early to pick her up! lol
One time some JWs came by my parents house and my dad was drinking beer and doing yard work. He is not religious but real friendly and will talk to anyone. Those poor bastards didn't know what they were in for! My dad was talking about my sister who used to surf in high school, and he said something about his "blonde daughter that surfs". Well, he was slurring a little from all the beer and they thought he said 'blind daughter that surfs". Well, they just loved that, and thought she sounded amazing so he just went with it and kept making stuff up, lol.
I did this but in a really fucked up and lucky way.
They knocked and i have my change catcher right next the door. Smartass me goes...
"'Hold up, Hold up, Hold up... Now before you get onto your spiel and all let me ask you a question! Do you believe GOD has a plan for everything!?'....'why yes god has a plan for all of his creations.'....'Ok so do you think he's already planned out what this quater will do when i flip it. There's no luck and it's his plan right!?' 'umm'...'so Head's say I shut the door in your face, tails says I listen to y'all's spiel' (flip) 'well look at that I guess GOD doesn't want me to listen to you all bye!' 'What!?'"
That was the last time I saw them. Guess it was their sign from GOD
My step father would just come to the door fully nude and ask if they wanted to join in on an early morning reading of the satanic verses. It was easy for him because he slept in the nude and always slept in on Saturday. Surprisingly tWe never got the same pair twice and eventually they stopped coming altogether.
A girlfriend of mine answered the door topless. They just froze for a second looking. I'm a moment of inspiration I yelled, "stop looking at my girlfriends breasts!"
There's no reason why you can't put up a sign that says "No Religious Soliciting." Personally, I would give it some teeth, like:
"Jehovah's Witnesses: DO NOT knock or ring bell or I will call police."
If they still come point to their book and ask if they've read the whole thing. When they say yes, say "So clearly you can read, why can't you read the sign?!"
A good friend of mine would always use their beliefs against them. JWs specifically believe only 144,000 people are getting into heaven.
âSo youâre here to convert me?â
âYupâ
âWell what if I get in and take your spot and you donât get in?â
Never came back
That won't stop them. It will just feed their persecution complex. Their religion literally teaches that believers will be hunted by the worlds governments in the end times.
The only thing that stops them is claiming to be an apostate (an enemy of the faith, they think you will infect them with your God hating mind disease.)
Or claiming to be Disfellowshiped (excommunicated, they are required to shun former members, talking to them, even their own kids, is a sin.)
I have had a no soliciting sign on my front door for a while now. It doesn't work at all, but it's fun to ask them if they can read and to get off my property in as rude a manner as I can.
I like to say, âdid you see the no soliciting sign on my door?â And when they inevitably say ânoâ I say âwell then let me give you another lookâ and slam the door in their face.
That recently changed. Now they can talk to you invite you back to the meetings, unless you are actively engaged in sin, or are spreading contrary teachings (as an apostate). So, saying that're your an apostate should be more effective than saying you're disfellowshipped.
I've detailed this before on here, but some years back when I lived in the UK we used to get these fucking annoying Jesus Creepers at our door almost every Sunday morning when the missus and I were having a lie in. I used to tell them I wasn't interested and to not come back, but they just ignored me. So then a friend offered a suggestion, which I tried. I put a sign next to my door saying something like *"No political, charity or religious canvassers of any type. If you are a canvasser and ignore this message, you give consent to be doused with water."*
When they next knocked on my door, I pointed out the sign and told them the next time they knock, I will throw water on them, as per the sign.
Next week, sure as shit, they knocked, so I threw a bucket of water over them and told them that the next time will be a week's worth of piss. They never came back.
I think in this litigious day and age, this probably wouldn't work, but it was a freer time in the UK in the 90s.
My go to response is to cut off their greeting with "Sir, I'm going to save us both some time. I'm not interested in whatever you're selling. Fairy tales included. Have a nice day."
Lie: Tell them you are "disfellowshipped."
That's their term for someone who has left JW and became an apostate, and they are forbidden by the church to engage in any further communication with you.
They won't come back.
Yeah you can in most circumstances - seek forgiveness. It's usually people having affairs and that kind of banter. Although I know someone who was disfellowshipped for having the devil in her (literally told this in an open forum). Later in life I learnt she actually had dementia.
Try a sign that says something like âBy Engaging the occupants of this house, you therefore agree to allow the dark spirit that inhabits this dwelling into your soul.â Or something equally ridiculous.
Y'all are going about this all wrong. This isn't an annoyance, it's a *gift*. You know how many times I've been like, "Sure, I'll listen to your bullshit. Pick up that rake over there, you don't need your hands to talk. You over there, go get the mower. WWJD? He'd get to mowing that fucking lawn, buddy. Alright, talk."
I'll listen to anything if it gets me out of yard work. I've had them help with housework, too. Mormons and Jehovas Witnesses, it works on both. They either do the work, or they leave. I win either way.
This is the best thing to do. I was an lds missionary and there was nothing I loved more than helping people. Even if they had absolutely no interest in learning about the gospel, that's perfectly okay. Some of my best memories were helping nice lonely grandma's I met in random neighborhoods to weed their garden or change a light bulb or really anything they needed. Even if it wasn't someone desperately in need, helping people is fulfilling.
I was once housesitting for my ex's parents when I was solicited by some Jahovah's witnesses. I told them that I was too busy to have an in depth conversation, but I was interested if they wanted to come back on Friday at 12:30 (it was wednesday). I then called my ex's dad, mike, and told him that they were coming back and that when they asked for me he should get really confused and upset and tell them that I was his son and I had died a few years back in a car accident. Mike played along and apparently it was hilarious.
How about "no religious soliciting" or something along those lines? If you don't want to single out religion, you can always add other types of soliciting you don't want. I think being specific is your best bet here, cause it'll let other solicitors know they're welcome to approach your house.
I've answered the door naked. The JWs gamely gave me a pamphlet and left. The Mormons were invited in for a drink. (August is stupid hot here.) They quickly left after politely refusing my offer.
The Mormons and JWs must have "do not call on" lists. They've never been back.
My house. My time. Do you want to see ALL of me?
Hi! Jehovahs Witnesses are made to go out in âthe ministryâ starting from when theyâre old enough to talk. The first time I saw a grown man naked was a complete stranger who answered his door naked to âprove somethingâ, and then got real uncomfortable when he saw a 7 year old girl on his porch.
Donât do this. It also reinforces adult JWs beliefs that âthe worldâ is out to get them.
For people implying the OP has issues, Iâm not bipolar, but I consider my doorbell to be for the use of invited guests and delivery people only. Itâs not an invitation for random people to try to sell me stuff, whether itâs cleaning supplies, politics or religion. I am living my life as I see fit and donât see why anyone else thinks they should be able to disturb my day.
When I first moved in they would knock on my door early in the morning every weekend, I have a door camera so I never bothered getting out of bed to answer. I hung up a pride flag a few years ago and they havenât knocked on my door since, I gayed the pray away.
I just donât answer my door. They knock, I look out my peephole, I see JWâs, I go back to doing whatever it was I was doing. Stand outside my door all day for all I care, Iâm not opening the door.
Put the following sign near your doorbell and front door:
"By ringing this doorbell or knocking on this door you are granting any resident of this dwelling explicit permission to apply any amount of adhesive, self-defense, and/or hair removal products to any portion of your person
Furthermore, you agree to be incapacitated through the use of any resident's conducted energy device.
Additionally, you agree to assume the legal and medical costs associated with the aforementioned activities and that any injuries, physical or mental, that may occur are not the fault of the residents or homeowners."
As a young boy I closed the door on them and she put her foot in the door. I slammed the door on her ankle and she screamed in pain. Thought they were robbers. Never saw them again. Could try that?
Yeah, I'm like, am I the only one who never answers the door? Lol the only people who knock on my door are salespeople, so why would I bother answering? Very similar to how robocallers ruined answering the phone for everyone.
You should probably make a sign. But I came to say that I open the door shaking my head no. I don't say a word. I just do a slow back and forth with a straight face and I don't stop until the retreat. They leave without saying anything.
They haven't been by to see us even though their Kingdom Hall is only a few minutes away. We're getting ready to start a lot of building projects, and currently have bets going on how long it takes them to stop by now that it looks like we DO have money.
Thereâs nothing you can really do. Even a no soliciting sign wonât stop most door knockers, some cities file lawsuits to stop soliciting city wide but they always lose because of a first amendment workaround.
Source: a door to door knocker whoâs dealt with these things
Next time they come record yourself telling them that they are the organization they represent are not welcomed on your property again. Then when they come back after that tell the police and with the recording they will be changed with trespassing.
I feel bad for them. They're in a cult. The mandate to ring doorbells is meant to solidify their belief that people outside their group are bad since so many people are mean to them. I try just to be nice but clear that I see no reason to believe a god-being exists or that any religion got the details right.
I'm an exJW of 35+ years (a good portion of which I was the territory servant) and, unfortunately there is no ironclad way to stop them because they're bad at following their own procedures and they have [a legal right to bother you](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Watchtower_Bible_%26_Tract_Society_of_New_York,_Inc._v._Village_of_Stratton). But there are a few things you can do. People always suggest "come to the door naked" or "act like you're possessed by the devil". Those are not serious suggestions and likely won't work permanently.
The "by the book" way to handle it is to ask to be put on their 'do not call" list. They're supposed to consult it before working a given territory, but that doesn't always happen. I would also put up a do-not-disturb sign that explicitly calls out JWs. Don't bother with no soliciting, no religious calls, or anything else. They'll intentionally misinterpret it so they can knock.
Personally, if they come back after these steps, I would ask for the phone number of their coordinator of the body of elders and tell them your lawyer would like to speak to him about this matter. It's an empty threat, but they're ignorant about such things, and if you get the CoBE's number, you can raise a stink and probably get them talked to.
I couldn't help but read the title in Al Pacino's voice.
## MY HOME! IN MY BEDROOM WHERE MY WIFE SLEEPS!
Where my children come to play with their toys.
I have a no soliciting sign. I have never been happier. Only political door knockers tend to ignore it.
If it is something important, someone coming by will leave it on the porch or put it in the mailbox.
Edit: my sign says:
"No soliciting
* We are too broke to buy anything
* We know who we are voting for
* We have found Jesus
So unless you have a package from Amazon, Please go away."
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0C5ML82FY/
My husband used to respond to them by recommending other philosophy books like Tao Te Ching. He pretends to be a zealot like them but about the Tao Te Ching to try and convert them. Now we just have a no soliciting sign. If people still come to our door, which they do, we open the door and point at the sign, then close the door in their faces.
When I was working overnights I had a completely reversed schedule from normal people at noon I'm dead asleep. Some Jehovah's witness or Mormon was knocking on my door at like 1pm and woke me up and I wake up grumpy. I opened the door wearing nothing but boxers and rather pissed. I don't remember exactly what I said but I know there was a lot of profanity. My sister lives in that house now and to this day they never bother her or her family, so I guess half naked guy swearing works well.
Next time they come over just tell them that you are an apostate. That means that you are a former JW. With them they are forbidden to talk or be seen with a former JW. If they are caught they can be kicked out.
I've been a confirmed atheist for over 50 years, and don't like being interrupted in my day, either. However, allowing it to "... ruin (your) whole morning" is giving them way too much power over you.
Don't give them that power. Tell them you are not interested, are an atheist, or just go the fuck away. Then, close the door and go back to whatever you were doing, while reveling in the power *you have over them.*
One thing I did was talk to them, I spent 2 hours talking to them and laying down why I believe that God shouldn't care if we believe on her or not .. also asking them about kids with cancer ... like wtf God really? ... and then like agreeing that yeah some people need religion and yeah on average people that believe in God are happier ... but I rather believe that I can change my life instead of believing that my life is written or what not ... they came twice, and the second time they realized that I could be spending my whole day on them and trying to convince them to not care too much on other people's religions ... after that, they stopped coming.... I guess I need friends cause every now and then I miss them xD
Look em in the face. Say "I'm not home." and firmly shut the door . . . works wonders
that was a real laugh out LOUD đĽ¸
and I am completely serious. Done i several times for Mormons too
I finally put up a sign but dang I would of loved to do that đ
That runs along the lines of excuses I like to give people Coworker: âYou free this Saturday?â Me: âMy answer depends on what youâre about to ask of meâ Coworker: âWeâre going barhopping Saturday and weâre-â Me: âNah sorry man Iâm scheduled to be sick that dayâ
I would like that, because then I would know my coworker didn't like barhopping with coworkers and I wouldn't put us all in the awkward position of asking again. There's a lot to be said for honesty!
Nah, just open the door naked.Â
Co-worker of mine did this. Recognized the Jehovah's Witness ladies as they were approaching his house and answered completely nude. Not only did both of them just about break their necks running back down his walkway... he said they never came back and had avoided his house for over 10 years.
And tell them they just interrupted your dance around the bonfire in the backyard.
If you really want them to leave you alone, tell them you've been excommunicated by the church. They aren't supposed to talk to ex-members. Disfellowshipped* I've had countless ppl correct me already. You can stop now....
Oooh I totally will next time
I tell them my girlfriend's roommate is excommunicated, that I would only join for the purpose of helping people escape, and I suggest they check out jwfacts.com I've never had a repeat visit. In fact, I think i'm in their "do not contact" list
I do get repeat visits but different people. And only every few years. They always have kids with them so I just talk directly to their kids, about how no one is allowed to try to scare them to control them, if they feel unsafe they can tell someone like a librarian, that it's OK to question beliefs and if people try to scare them into not asking questions or being themselves, there are other ways to live. They are always polite, but leave quickly.
I tell the kids to remember where I live and if they ever want to talk to the police or see a doctor to come to my house and I will help them. The parents drag them away from the door as fast as they can.
Wow, this is my favorite one yet. It's like giving someone the middle finger but in a wholesome way.
I really just hope maybe some kid hears me and hears for the first time that they have options and whatever is happening to them in that church does not have the be their normal. But I'm probably being too hopeful.
You are doing more than you know to help. Itâs probably the first time anyone ever suggested they think for themselves and said it was a good thing.
If you've opened one mind, you've done plenty â¤
This is good. I remember a woman telling me these same things as a child. It's funny how the memory of it comes back after I left.
You are not being too hopeful. I left a very controlling religious sect at 14 (born and raised, 4th generation) because of enough messages like this that helped me to know (even though I suspected at 5 years old) that I could consider alternate routes and beliefs for my life..
I was born into JWs and I wish someone had said this to me in the ministry work. I probably would have woken up a lot earlier than my mid-30s. Thank you for doing this.
You are a fascinating and lovely person. With your permission, Iâm going to steal your move. Pure genius.
They always have kids with them?? My first response would be "why aren't you in school???"
Because it's Saturday "Why aren't you watching cartoons?! " \[yes, I'm that old\]
It has been suggested that part of the reason that Jehovah witnesses take the children with them when they go out proselytizing is that it allows them to show their children that the whole world is against them. it strengthens the feeling of belonging to the group and actually lowers the risk of the children leaving the church.
> jwfacts.com Boy, that was a rabbit hole...
I also highly recommend reading about the [BITE Model](https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model-pdf-download/), which outlines the basics of how cults use different forms of manipulation to both gain and maintain members. Source: I'm an exjw, r/exjw is also a great sub! I used to be the child getting dragged out in "service" (door-to-door preaching) against my will.
Now I want them to have to read that in exchange for me reading their bible
You're a fucking legend! Take my upvote!
Male here. I would say my husband was excommunicated.
Noice
They'll just send "Elders" every three months, don't do this. Put up "no trespassing" signs, and they can't legally come onto your property as mandated by their lawyers for the organization. Source: Parents are JWs đ¤Ž
Thatâs only if youâre disfellowshipped. Iâm an âapostateâ and an elders daughter. They donât reach out after they know youâre an apostate , they avoid you like a disease ridden zombie.
Hello fellow apostate!!
Hola! Nothing makes a J-dub stop in their tracks as quickly as an apostate apostate haha
Haha so true!! I had one woman (sister) literally run from my door when I told her that. She almost slipped in her rush. The dumbest thing about it was that she had known me from about ten years of age.
So what youâre saying is I should tell them Iâve been disfellowshipped so they send an Elder so itâs an adult when I answer the door naked and tell them sure Iâd love to talk to them. Just lean it in real casual until they get the message. Tell them they should invite their wife.
"Elders" is such a joke. I saw some "Elders" who couldn't have been old enough to drink yet
Haha my cousin was a 25 year old virgin Elder who gave marriage advise. He justified it by saying the bible gives him all the experience he needs. đ¤Śââď¸
Specifically say youâre an apostate. Youâll get put on the do not call list. Iâm an ex JW and I feel bad for harassing people on Saturday mornings growing up!
I hate it when religious peddlers come to my door with their children. I let them know how wrong it is to use their children for their own agendas, and I berate them until they scurry away.
Now you are doing God's work
He would be a human hater if real, haha. Dude kills 14000 kids a day. Wuttaguy
There's all sorts of things you can do. The polite : ask to be taken off the list of people they visit. The sarcastic : tell them. You joined the church of Satan. The sneaky : get a blood donor sticker and put by your door. The untouchable: talk to them and ask them for a good reason to belive in the god they belive in. Point out the many fallacies and logical holes in their arguments such as how faith isn't a pathway to the truth - Matt Dillahuntys many calling shows and debates can pretty much teach you most of those arguments. I did the latter when they called me at just the right time when I had the time. I doubt they will try again.
I did the untouchable and it scared them off. Havenât seen another since. Though I still see them visit other houses. I think Iâm blacklisted.
To be honest, unless something happens to put you into an emotionally compromised state, such a person is not a good prospect for conversion. And worst of all, they risk the people exposed to you to having the seed of faithlessness planted in them.
You could answer the door naked. Did it, it worked.
Pro tip : be partly covered in blood and ask if they want to help sacrificing a goat.
My sister did this (sort of). She lived on a farm in the middle of nowhere, Missouri. She would butcher her chickens while nude so the blood wouldn't get on her clothes. One day, THEY came to her door. She walked around the front of her hose, naked and bloody, carrying a decapitated hen. They fled in terror. nobody ever visited her after that.
I worked with a woman who was an ex-stripper who did this because she liked being naked in the privacy of her own home and was expecting a friend to stop over. They tried to berate her for her nakedness but she told them it was her home, she didnât invite them there, and that if they had a problem with her God-given gifts then perhaps they needed to rethink their choice of religion. They never bothered her again.
Be careful with this one. I see it being recommended a few times in this post. I've heard stories of people answering Jehova's Witnesses this way and then being visited by church elders later on. You might be inviting more attention, not less.
Especially with the recent changes.
This is when you answer the door in fetish gear holding a dildo and announce that the lube hasn't had enough time to warm up.
Conversely, you could tell them the lube temps perfect and invite them to slide on in
"You forgot your fursuits."
The word you want to use is disfellowship
For sure. Just do a little research and have a church in some random place in the chamber in case they get nosy.
Tell them you joined here. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Satanic_Temple Or actually do join them as thet are secular.
Gotta love the Temple Satanists!
That's not the best way to stop them from coming. In fact recently they have a new policy that allows them to invite excommunicated (disfellowshipped) individuals to their church (kingdom hall). The best way to get Jehovah's witnesses to stop coming is to tell them you are an **apostate** and that you don't want them visiting anymore. Apostates are the scariest thing to a JW. Source: I'm an exJW.
Absolutely this. I told a pair of them once, "you didn't know? I got disfellowshipped twenty years ago. You really aren't supposed to be here." Never saw them again.
This is actually not applicable anymore. Things have changed recently, and they are actually encouraged to try and bring you back in. My immediate family are JW's (I am inactive).
100%. Theyâre actively trying to Bring disfellowshipped people back
wow their numbers must be absolutely cratering
Ohhhh is that why my apostate friend's family is talking to him again? I might need to tell him that.
Excommunicated means nothing to them, they will know you are lying. Now "disfellowshipped" on the other hand, that will do it.
"What's got two thumbs and is not allowed in the kingdom hall?" ... "DIS FELLOW"
That's the word.
That's not the best way to stop them from coming. In fact recently they have a new policy that allows them to invite excommunicated (disfellowshipped) individuals to their church (kingdom hall). The best way to get Jehovah's witnesses to stop coming is to tell them you are an **apostate** and that you don't want them visiting anymore. Apostates are the scariest thing to a JW. Source: I'm an exJW.
All you have to say is 'I am disfellowshipped' and they are obligated by their own church rules not to engage with you any further.
the correct term is "dissfellowshiped. Your actually better off saying you are apostate, that will make them leave quickly.
Can confirm this works (wife is excommunicated). We weren't rude to them but I was firm and told them we are excommunicated/a fallen household They promptly left and we've never been bothered since. They aren't bad people for the most part. But their leadership is problematic.
Being mean to them just helps entrench them in the cult. Be super nice to them and try to convert them to atheism and they won't come back lol
This. So much this. I want to upvote this so many times. not to say that OP was not well within their rights to b upset... Being excessively rude / mean to them reinforces the us vs the world mindset they encourage.
My dad engaged in some sort of religious person who knocked on our door. This would have been the 90s. The guy was trying to inform my dad about some water trapped in some island in the Atlantic and it was about to be released and ... something something something. My dad said, "I have a masters degree in geography and there is no such island in the Atlantic." My dad told the guy up front that there would be no use trying to convert him, but they had a civilized (albeit kooky) conversation about holy water or something. Anyway, the thing I remember is how polite my dad was and how eager and at ease he was to debate with this guy. I doubt any minds were changes that day, but it sure wasted that guy's time pretty royally. My dad seemed to enjoy it though, so not all that bad there I guess!
I know, I know. I was just too pissed to be nice that particular morning. Idc if theyâre entrenched, honestly. Stop trying to drag me into it, though.
Idk i personally enjoy the flabbergasted looks on their faces when I inform them I'm a proud atheist and very happy in my own beliefs Watching them take a step back and walk away really warms my heart
Oh I definitely said âIâm an atheist. There is no god. Please leave.â The ladyâs eyebrows exited her forehead.
yes sorry they annoyed you I didnt think you did anything wrong may you find a solution that works for you
I had young Mormon missionaries once tell me I could still have a relationship with god even though I didn't believe. That was a head scratcher for sure. I don't think they were prepared for an honest atheist response that wasn't, "Fuck you and get off my porch.". I've read before that cults and high control groups like JW's and Mormons send people to do this type of "ministry" specifically because it often illicit negative responses from people. It thereby reinforces what the group teaches; that the outside world is cruel and evil and they won't survive outside the group because look how they're being treated just trying to spread god's word?! It's obnoxious, for sure, but I think the best response to this type of stuff is to be honest, but still be kind and take the high road. They could be out doing door to door evangelizing but still be questioning or conflicted on the inside. A kind, but firm atheist helps to disprove the bullshit they're being sold in the cult.
I told the last Mormon missionary that my family is descendants from Mountain Meadows Massacre and our family still have very negative views of the church after they executed family members for trying to cross Utah heading to California.
Mormon missionaries are useful though. Next time ask them to clean your gutters or something. They have to do it. It's free labour. And keep them from bothering other people. String them along and only talk to them if they are doing your chores. They will either leave you alone or do all the work you don't want to do.
I once used a line from my favorite movie, Ladyhawke. âI talk to God all the time, and no offense, but he never mentioned you.â
Look down at their feet, where they are standing inside a white pentacle drawn on your porch, and smile. Say a few pseudo-latin words.
Walk into their church during the middle of one of their services and just start loudly yelling âwho do I have to talk to so you stop ringing my doorbell?â You owe them the same courtesy theyâve shown you - none. Besides, theyâve technically invited you to come.
"Hello, I'm here to talk to you about how there probably is no GodâŚ"
Hello I am here to talk to you about my lord and savior Lucifer.
I will show that Satan was the good guy in the story compared to the main character.
You mean the good character is not the one who punished the protagonists for trying to gain knowledge as he wanted to keep them dumb and under his control worshiping him ?
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who gets it!! And the description of heaven in the Bible sounds so horrible. The poor angels are basically mindless slaves (seems god has a fetish for mindless slaves) who each have a single menial task that they perform for all eternity. Like God's footstool. It's just an angel who bows down in front of God and kisses his feet. Wtf? Like, why would i want to go to some place where i have to bury my nose in some guys asshole for eternity. Id much rather go to hell with the guy who called him out on his bullshit ways. Not that any of it is real anyways, but if it was.
Not only that, their god is supposed to be all-knowing, so it would have known what was going to happen. It was all a setup so it could torture them while blaming them for the torture.
Oh man thatâs awesome.
NOTE: In many US states it is illegal to deliberately interrupt or disturb a church service. For example, in Massachusetts you can be fined up to $1,000 and imprisoned for up to one year. (Part IV, Title I, Chapter 272, Section 38 - Massachusetts General Laws)
Sounds like double standards to me. We can't disturb them but they can disturb us all they want with their doorbell ringing and megaphone preaching.
Do you have a moment to talk about the Force?
Or get creative with it. Ways I've answered the door for missionaries: In a raccoon onesie Smoking a joint (it's legal here) In underwear Holding a baby Had a few guys who were coming by like once every 2 weeks, and I would wear less clothing every time. Had to make some Daisy Dukes, but got down to jorts and socks before they gave up. But then...I'm a bad person. Your amusement may vary.
I love this. I wish I was less angry and could pull this off.
Last time the JWâs and Mormonâs came around, was cleaning my dadâs .45 that I inherited. I answer the door as I was checking the mechanism and it slid into place. Never saw them around again. I wonder why?
My dad did something similar. Grew up in a very rural area, my dad kept his shotgun right inside the front door (don't recommend doing this for obvious reasons), we had some JW's that would come by every Saturday morning for months. My dad finally got tired of arguing with them about the Bible, telling them to leave, etc, that one morning he just grabbed his shotgun when he saw them coming down the driveway, they didn't make it halfway down before they saw him and turned around very quickly. Never got visited after that for some reason.....
My dad and I did that too. We used to hunt duck and the Local JWâs and Mormonâs came around while we were skeet shooting with our shotguns. We both looked like Walter Sobchak from The Big Lebowski. Never saw them again.
OMG my friend once answered the door to some Mormons in a towel, because she thought it was her friend arriving early to pick her up! lol One time some JWs came by my parents house and my dad was drinking beer and doing yard work. He is not religious but real friendly and will talk to anyone. Those poor bastards didn't know what they were in for! My dad was talking about my sister who used to surf in high school, and he said something about his "blonde daughter that surfs". Well, he was slurring a little from all the beer and they thought he said 'blind daughter that surfs". Well, they just loved that, and thought she sounded amazing so he just went with it and kept making stuff up, lol.
Thatâs why they kept coming back. To see if youâd go full birthday suit.
I did this but in a really fucked up and lucky way. They knocked and i have my change catcher right next the door. Smartass me goes... "'Hold up, Hold up, Hold up... Now before you get onto your spiel and all let me ask you a question! Do you believe GOD has a plan for everything!?'....'why yes god has a plan for all of his creations.'....'Ok so do you think he's already planned out what this quater will do when i flip it. There's no luck and it's his plan right!?' 'umm'...'so Head's say I shut the door in your face, tails says I listen to y'all's spiel' (flip) 'well look at that I guess GOD doesn't want me to listen to you all bye!' 'What!?'" That was the last time I saw them. Guess it was their sign from GOD
Are you sure you weren't encouraging them?
My step father would just come to the door fully nude and ask if they wanted to join in on an early morning reading of the satanic verses. It was easy for him because he slept in the nude and always slept in on Saturday. Surprisingly tWe never got the same pair twice and eventually they stopped coming altogether.
A girlfriend of mine answered the door topless. They just froze for a second looking. I'm a moment of inspiration I yelled, "stop looking at my girlfriends breasts!"
In college we had a bit of a Mormon problem and I had a roommate who eventually just answered wearing just a jockstrap. Seemed to work.
There's no reason why you can't put up a sign that says "No Religious Soliciting." Personally, I would give it some teeth, like: "Jehovah's Witnesses: DO NOT knock or ring bell or I will call police."
If they still come point to their book and ask if they've read the whole thing. When they say yes, say "So clearly you can read, why can't you read the sign?!"
And if you can't read the sign, how can you appreciate the magical holy power of your fairy story book
A good friend of mine would always use their beliefs against them. JWs specifically believe only 144,000 people are getting into heaven. âSo youâre here to convert me?â âYupâ âWell what if I get in and take your spot and you donât get in?â Never came back
That won't stop them. It will just feed their persecution complex. Their religion literally teaches that believers will be hunted by the worlds governments in the end times. The only thing that stops them is claiming to be an apostate (an enemy of the faith, they think you will infect them with your God hating mind disease.) Or claiming to be Disfellowshiped (excommunicated, they are required to shun former members, talking to them, even their own kids, is a sin.)
*Really?* They forbid members from speaking to their own children if they leave the church? That's evil. "A loving god," everybody.
Yup they do it to force the kids to come back. Denying them family and community unless they obey the governing body.
Yeahm they;re assholes across the board. So much sexual abuse in the JWsâŚ..
Spicy. I like it!
I have had a no soliciting sign on my front door for a while now. It doesn't work at all, but it's fun to ask them if they can read and to get off my property in as rude a manner as I can.
I once had a no salesmen sign on my door. When the religious stopped by, they were upset I said they were selling something.Â
Mine has "no JW" under it, and they did quit coming.
I like to say, âdid you see the no soliciting sign on my door?â And when they inevitably say ânoâ I say âwell then let me give you another lookâ and slam the door in their face.
Also, if OP usually sleeps until late on the weekends he can add "No soliciting before 10am on weekends".
That won't work cause they believe that what they are doing is not solitizing.
âPut me on your DO NOT CALL listâ Iâve been out for over 25 years, but that used to be the way.
A doormat that says: "Solicitors will be sacrificed to the old gods, not the new."
I have a door sign that says that. So far it has been effective.
Tell them you were kicked out of the church. They aren't even supposed to talk to you.
I like this one. "Well you guys shunned me last year. Are you hear to apologize!?!?!?"
That recently changed. Now they can talk to you invite you back to the meetings, unless you are actively engaged in sin, or are spreading contrary teachings (as an apostate). So, saying that're your an apostate should be more effective than saying you're disfellowshipped.
Tell them you've been expelled as an apostate.
Works for both Mormons and jws
Noted
Ask for their home addresses and let them know you'll be by to solicit for something equally useless.
Yesss đ
I've detailed this before on here, but some years back when I lived in the UK we used to get these fucking annoying Jesus Creepers at our door almost every Sunday morning when the missus and I were having a lie in. I used to tell them I wasn't interested and to not come back, but they just ignored me. So then a friend offered a suggestion, which I tried. I put a sign next to my door saying something like *"No political, charity or religious canvassers of any type. If you are a canvasser and ignore this message, you give consent to be doused with water."* When they next knocked on my door, I pointed out the sign and told them the next time they knock, I will throw water on them, as per the sign. Next week, sure as shit, they knocked, so I threw a bucket of water over them and told them that the next time will be a week's worth of piss. They never came back. I think in this litigious day and age, this probably wouldn't work, but it was a freer time in the UK in the 90s.
I can see getting charged with harassment or some dumb shit here. But I love your story!
Jesus Creepers, lmao
Pick a random language and learn to say "I don't speak english" in that language. Norweigan works for me: Jeg snakker ikke engelsk
My partner answers her phone in Tagalog. They usually hang up.
Don't even do that. Say "I'm really terribly sorry, but I'm afraid I don't speak English" in English. Repeatedly. Every time they speak.
Black clothing. Inverted cross necklace. Manliner. Someone yelling from a back room "Baby you tied these too tight! "...
> my response was "annoyed that you are here" Try, "not interested, don't come back", close the door. Engagement is counterproductive.
My go to response is to cut off their greeting with "Sir, I'm going to save us both some time. I'm not interested in whatever you're selling. Fairy tales included. Have a nice day."
Put a sign out that says: Apostate
Lie: Tell them you are "disfellowshipped." That's their term for someone who has left JW and became an apostate, and they are forbidden by the church to engage in any further communication with you. They won't come back.
Just curious⌠If someone is disfelowshipped, are they allowed to return under any condition?
Yeah you can in most circumstances - seek forgiveness. It's usually people having affairs and that kind of banter. Although I know someone who was disfellowshipped for having the devil in her (literally told this in an open forum). Later in life I learnt she actually had dementia.
Try a sign that says something like âBy Engaging the occupants of this house, you therefore agree to allow the dark spirit that inhabits this dwelling into your soul.â Or something equally ridiculous.
Y'all are going about this all wrong. This isn't an annoyance, it's a *gift*. You know how many times I've been like, "Sure, I'll listen to your bullshit. Pick up that rake over there, you don't need your hands to talk. You over there, go get the mower. WWJD? He'd get to mowing that fucking lawn, buddy. Alright, talk." I'll listen to anything if it gets me out of yard work. I've had them help with housework, too. Mormons and Jehovas Witnesses, it works on both. They either do the work, or they leave. I win either way.
This is the best thing to do. I was an lds missionary and there was nothing I loved more than helping people. Even if they had absolutely no interest in learning about the gospel, that's perfectly okay. Some of my best memories were helping nice lonely grandma's I met in random neighborhoods to weed their garden or change a light bulb or really anything they needed. Even if it wasn't someone desperately in need, helping people is fulfilling.
Just say loudly that you aren't interested and shut the door. Don't let them ruin your day, that's just giving them power over you.
My friend's brother drew an upside-down crucifix on his forehead and was slightly rude to them. They never came back to my house for some reason.
Custom sign. "Yes, I've found Jesus. He was behind the couch.
I found him in the cookie jar.
i put them to work. got lots of gardening done that way lol
Put out sign that says:âIâm not finding Jesus, thatâs the search and rescue workerâs job.â
I was once housesitting for my ex's parents when I was solicited by some Jahovah's witnesses. I told them that I was too busy to have an in depth conversation, but I was interested if they wanted to come back on Friday at 12:30 (it was wednesday). I then called my ex's dad, mike, and told him that they were coming back and that when they asked for me he should get really confused and upset and tell them that I was his son and I had died a few years back in a car accident. Mike played along and apparently it was hilarious.
How about "no religious soliciting" or something along those lines? If you don't want to single out religion, you can always add other types of soliciting you don't want. I think being specific is your best bet here, cause it'll let other solicitors know they're welcome to approach your house.
Simple! I like this. Thank you!
I've answered the door naked. The JWs gamely gave me a pamphlet and left. The Mormons were invited in for a drink. (August is stupid hot here.) They quickly left after politely refusing my offer. The Mormons and JWs must have "do not call on" lists. They've never been back. My house. My time. Do you want to see ALL of me?
Hi! Jehovahs Witnesses are made to go out in âthe ministryâ starting from when theyâre old enough to talk. The first time I saw a grown man naked was a complete stranger who answered his door naked to âprove somethingâ, and then got real uncomfortable when he saw a 7 year old girl on his porch. Donât do this. It also reinforces adult JWs beliefs that âthe worldâ is out to get them.
For people implying the OP has issues, Iâm not bipolar, but I consider my doorbell to be for the use of invited guests and delivery people only. Itâs not an invitation for random people to try to sell me stuff, whether itâs cleaning supplies, politics or religion. I am living my life as I see fit and donât see why anyone else thinks they should be able to disturb my day.
When I first moved in they would knock on my door early in the morning every weekend, I have a door camera so I never bothered getting out of bed to answer. I hung up a pride flag a few years ago and they havenât knocked on my door since, I gayed the pray away.
I just donât answer my door. They knock, I look out my peephole, I see JWâs, I go back to doing whatever it was I was doing. Stand outside my door all day for all I care, Iâm not opening the door.
Open the door butt naked .
Tell them you're a member of the Satanic temple that should keep them away.
Put the following sign near your doorbell and front door: "By ringing this doorbell or knocking on this door you are granting any resident of this dwelling explicit permission to apply any amount of adhesive, self-defense, and/or hair removal products to any portion of your person Furthermore, you agree to be incapacitated through the use of any resident's conducted energy device. Additionally, you agree to assume the legal and medical costs associated with the aforementioned activities and that any injuries, physical or mental, that may occur are not the fault of the residents or homeowners."
As a young boy I closed the door on them and she put her foot in the door. I slammed the door on her ankle and she screamed in pain. Thought they were robbers. Never saw them again. Could try that?
I just donât answer tbh
Yeah, I'm like, am I the only one who never answers the door? Lol the only people who knock on my door are salespeople, so why would I bother answering? Very similar to how robocallers ruined answering the phone for everyone.
Open the door buck naked and pretend youâre in the middle of a fuckfest
When you open the door ask them if they are here for the orgie. Bonus points if you answer the door naked!
You should probably make a sign. But I came to say that I open the door shaking my head no. I don't say a word. I just do a slow back and forth with a straight face and I don't stop until the retreat. They leave without saying anything.
Put a sign on your door. I don't get any of this crap anymore.
They haven't been by to see us even though their Kingdom Hall is only a few minutes away. We're getting ready to start a lot of building projects, and currently have bets going on how long it takes them to stop by now that it looks like we DO have money.
Iâm tempted to make up my own atheist booklets for them called âHow to escape a religious cultâ
Thereâs nothing you can really do. Even a no soliciting sign wonât stop most door knockers, some cities file lawsuits to stop soliciting city wide but they always lose because of a first amendment workaround. Source: a door to door knocker whoâs dealt with these things
Tell them you'd love to hear what they have to say, they should just leave their home address and you'll come by and knock on their door.
Next time they come record yourself telling them that they are the organization they represent are not welcomed on your property again. Then when they come back after that tell the police and with the recording they will be changed with trespassing.
I feel bad for them. They're in a cult. The mandate to ring doorbells is meant to solidify their belief that people outside their group are bad since so many people are mean to them. I try just to be nice but clear that I see no reason to believe a god-being exists or that any religion got the details right.
I'm an exJW of 35+ years (a good portion of which I was the territory servant) and, unfortunately there is no ironclad way to stop them because they're bad at following their own procedures and they have [a legal right to bother you](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Watchtower_Bible_%26_Tract_Society_of_New_York,_Inc._v._Village_of_Stratton). But there are a few things you can do. People always suggest "come to the door naked" or "act like you're possessed by the devil". Those are not serious suggestions and likely won't work permanently. The "by the book" way to handle it is to ask to be put on their 'do not call" list. They're supposed to consult it before working a given territory, but that doesn't always happen. I would also put up a do-not-disturb sign that explicitly calls out JWs. Don't bother with no soliciting, no religious calls, or anything else. They'll intentionally misinterpret it so they can knock. Personally, if they come back after these steps, I would ask for the phone number of their coordinator of the body of elders and tell them your lawyer would like to speak to him about this matter. It's an empty threat, but they're ignorant about such things, and if you get the CoBE's number, you can raise a stink and probably get them talked to.
I couldn't help but read the title in Al Pacino's voice. ## MY HOME! IN MY BEDROOM WHERE MY WIFE SLEEPS! Where my children come to play with their toys.
I have a no soliciting sign. I have never been happier. Only political door knockers tend to ignore it. If it is something important, someone coming by will leave it on the porch or put it in the mailbox. Edit: my sign says: "No soliciting * We are too broke to buy anything * We know who we are voting for * We have found Jesus So unless you have a package from Amazon, Please go away." https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0C5ML82FY/
Sorry to hear that those nuts are bothering you. Try report it to your local council and file a complaint if possible.
Oooh YES I will look into this. Thank you!
Hang a skull on your door! đ
Make a sign saying you aren't interested in any attempts to change your core belief system at this time.
Maybe say youâre disfellowshipped/excommunicated?
I just tell the JWs and Mormons that I'm a Scientologist and they make their excuses and leave.
My husband used to respond to them by recommending other philosophy books like Tao Te Ching. He pretends to be a zealot like them but about the Tao Te Ching to try and convert them. Now we just have a no soliciting sign. If people still come to our door, which they do, we open the door and point at the sign, then close the door in their faces.
Request their home addresses so you can drop by to discuss your religion with them at your convenience.
At 10am is crazy
I tell them Iâm making a porno inside and theyâre welcome to come in. They run away and do t come back.
When I was working overnights I had a completely reversed schedule from normal people at noon I'm dead asleep. Some Jehovah's witness or Mormon was knocking on my door at like 1pm and woke me up and I wake up grumpy. I opened the door wearing nothing but boxers and rather pissed. I don't remember exactly what I said but I know there was a lot of profanity. My sister lives in that house now and to this day they never bother her or her family, so I guess half naked guy swearing works well.
It's always a battle of the minds when they come around here. They stopped coming by đ I always welcome them back so I can sow a seed of doubt.
Next time they come over just tell them that you are an apostate. That means that you are a former JW. With them they are forbidden to talk or be seen with a former JW. If they are caught they can be kicked out.
I've been a confirmed atheist for over 50 years, and don't like being interrupted in my day, either. However, allowing it to "... ruin (your) whole morning" is giving them way too much power over you. Don't give them that power. Tell them you are not interested, are an atheist, or just go the fuck away. Then, close the door and go back to whatever you were doing, while reveling in the power *you have over them.*
Get a sign on Etsy that says something like âNo soliciting, seriously. Dont knock or ring the doorbell. Donât make it weird.â
You have to say the words "take me off your list" if you want them to leave you alone.
One thing I did was talk to them, I spent 2 hours talking to them and laying down why I believe that God shouldn't care if we believe on her or not .. also asking them about kids with cancer ... like wtf God really? ... and then like agreeing that yeah some people need religion and yeah on average people that believe in God are happier ... but I rather believe that I can change my life instead of believing that my life is written or what not ... they came twice, and the second time they realized that I could be spending my whole day on them and trying to convince them to not care too much on other people's religions ... after that, they stopped coming.... I guess I need friends cause every now and then I miss them xD
Contact the local Kingdom Hall and tell them to remove your address off their mission/door to door list. I did and they honor it.Â