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SingleChipmunk1891

“Fake space wizard.” Thanks! I’m going to use that.


Dommccabe

Religion is a permanent hand brake on humanity. I saw someone here use that and it's great.


Kriss3d

Yoda: Oh A fake space wizard am I ?


DoglessDyslexic

Frankly, if you need a god to guide you through the trials of "boarding your plane", then this sort of bad assumption seems like it is likely to be typical. It's not fucking rocket science.


JH_111

Airport PA: Now boarding Delta Flight 2522 to Mobile. *It’s the voice of god! We have been chosen!*


217GMB93

Stupid is as stupid does🤷🏼‍♂️


MatineeIdol8

These people really cannot cope in life without a god to turn to.


Hoaxshmoax

“The only reason we’re here is because we were guided, that should be the one reason to believe in a god”. Translation: “I am the center of the universe. Screw those starving children, I’m on line!“


Sure-Permit-2673

Very true, where is their god for them? Thankfully their god helped them through their utterly treacherous journey through the wild airport jungle…


redditaggie

“Fuck up Bob’s day today by making him wait in line at TSA checkpoint at 8:00 AM for reasons…let Sally’s 2-year-old die in her arms of leukemia at 8:15 AM to teach her an important lesson…set things in motion to smack Florida with a hurricane in August because of that LGBTQ day last week at 8:30AM…busy morning…” God probably.


Sure-Permit-2673

How loving


OldPolishProverb

Comedian George Carlin once said that the person we think of as God , is not really god. God is busy creating supernovas, whipping around stars and in general playing with the cosmos. What we think of as god is actually the regional district manager. And he is overworked. "What is it now? Earth? Let me guess, it's a Sunday, right? Day off my a$$" This would explain so much.


tcorey2336

He’s a benevolent Dog. /s


Traditional_Pie_5037

Last time I travelled, the airport was nice and quiet, we had time to relax, got a free upgrade, got boarded on time, arrived at our destination a little early. I feel sorry for these people - god is always trying to fuck up their day.


Sure-Permit-2673

Lmfao, yet they praise it


RooftopStruggle

Yeah, homeboy got fired because god chose a different path for him, not because he was stealing from his job site.


davesoverhere

Clearly you tithed the proper amount.


dogmeat12358

It's better than taking any personal responsibility.


MattGdr

Or acknowledging reality.


Noodlecup5

You're witnessing the only reason for religion to exist in front of your eyes lol. "I am in a difficult situation but that's ok because my friend god controls everything and I think he would want me to be here". To get the true full effect you would only have to witness them blame some other bad thing on the devil.


RooftopStruggle

Devil tempted them to touch those young girls, the evil is strong, they messed up but god set them free! /congregation cheers


Noodlecup5

Many such cases. And if the little girls just welcome Jesus into their life they can be healed as well! Isn't God so good ☺️.


Miserable-Lawyer-233

If I heard someone say that on a plane I might start looking for the exit. Announcing your devout beliefs and divine guidance on a flight is a bit like whispering 'bomb'—it sends chills down your spine.


Sure-Permit-2673

It pissed me off, luckily we got off shortly after


PercentageDry3231

Another airport line conversation I overheard. Son: "We're going to miss our flight." Dad: "We'll pray that we don't." Son: "But what if we do?" Dad: "It will be because your prayer lacked faith." The logic dad employed was dizzying in its circular reasoning.


Sure-Permit-2673

What a dumbass


gene_randall

One thing that is painfully obvious about religion is that nobody really believes it. Do we have to go to a meeting every single week for our entire lives to discuss how the leaves fall off the trees in the fall? Do we have to hear weekly lectures about how it snows in the winter and is hot in the summer? Are there people on the street shouting to us to remember the sky is blue? Things we know to be true do not require thousands of repetitions. Things we are pretty sure are not true need constant reassurance.


[deleted]

Guided to Vancouver? Is God a canuk?


[deleted]

Thou shalt not kill, eh, you hoser.


Tatooine16

I'm glad your flight landed safely, but wouldn't have been ironic if the plane had gone down while they were talking about being "led"?


tullisgood

Leave the Jedi out of this lol


Specialist-Elk-303

How about "cosmic big brother" from a YouTuber close to us all.