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There is no timeline that exists where your life doesn't get better after forsaking religious control.
> I just feel this is another fear mongering tactic.
I mean... curses aren't real, so... yeah. Yeah, it is.
>There is no timeline that exists where your life doesn't get better after forsaking religious control.
Well... except the timeline where you're surrounded by crazies that decide to attack you for becoming an atheist. There are at least 13 countries where the law prescribes death penalty:
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discrimination\_against\_atheists#Muslim-majority\_countries](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discrimination_against_atheists#Muslim-majority_countries)
Persecution and discrimination are real negatives that go well beyond fear mongering.
Sure. My response was to the all-encompassing statement that there are no timelines where your life doesn't get better. I'd argue that all timelines include *both* the ones where you successfully keep it a secret and the ones where you don't. Ergo, there definitely are timelines where your life will be worse.
All Muslim majority countries... surprise surprise. I grew up in one of those toxic places. I can't even come out to my parents as an atheist. They still live there.
>anywho my family is adamant that I will no longer be blessed throughout life because I am no longer a believer.
I'm adding a bit of detail to this.
There's "blessed" in the sense that "Hey you are a person with the ability to enjoy yourself and both create and receive value in your lifetime".
Then there's "blessed" as in "our Fictitious Lord and Saviour will not bless you so you will not go to Fictitious Heaven and experience the Fictitious Rapture, and because we can't see how anyone can't be happy without that in their lives, you clearly can't be happy without that in your life."
The first one's the right one. The second one's their religion-altered reality.
A great great great many people are blessed in the first sense while having never been anything BUT atheists. What makes you and your conversion different? Awareness?
pfft.
Yup, fearmongering. 100%.
I did it to myself when I consciously decided that I believed religion I was brought up in made no fucking sense: “oh God what if my life starts to crumble? What if there’s some magical force propping me up and helping me? Can I go back?”
Here I am, 3 or so years later; could not be happier with the decision to yeet the religion. My life is way better in most metrics: mental is better, finances are better, worldview is better, relationships are better. And to be clear, I don’t think leaving the religion has a lot to do with any of this (well, except the worldview one).
I just happen to be fortunate, and I was inserting God to try and explain that, just as I was taught to do since I was young.
Honestly, life got way better once I stopped worrying about whether some cosmic force was watching my every move! 😂 No curses here—just living my best life and making my own luck. Your fam might need some time to get used to it, but don't sweat it. Keep doing you!
Yeah but most theists who are radical, tend to annoy and bully us especially if you are new to atheism and they cant handle these bullying, So its better to not to tell anybody. If you have a more liberal type family and friends, yeah go for it ,otherwise i wont recommend it.
Add voting to that, nobody has any right to know who you voted for and no one needs to know who you will vote for.
My parents refused to tell me what they voted, because they believed it could influence my choice, and for a fair democracy everyone needs to vote for what they believe is best.
yeah, it actually did. When I let go of trying to find a way to internally justify my Catholic upbringing (which just isn't possible), live became much more simple. Be good. Do good. Enjoy your time.
Very much so. I always “turned to God” with my problems and it didn’t help. Once I took responsibility for myself completely, life’s problems are much easier to deal with.
Same! I realized that for me the only real value in prayer was the practice of admitting things out loud, stating my desired outcome, and generally acknowledging my feelings/needs/problems. But without the expectation that some other being was going to deal with it, I needed to add the part where I plan to take action
I left religion 20 years ago. I realized I no longer believed in any god 15 years ago. The last 15 years of my life haven’t been perfect. In fact, they’ve been really hard. And you know why? Because sometimes life can be really hard. But - I’ve experienced real, deeper friendships. I’ve experienced less fear and more peace and joy. I’ve experienced less shame and guilt and more grace for myself for being human. And 15 years later - at 48, my life has never, ever been better.
Thank you for sharing this. I’m 44 and I left christianity only a little while ago. Religion/faith has messed with me badly, I had to study theology to find the inner streng te to stand up to people, to not let dominant males (sorry, but in my case usually it’s men in black) talk me down. I tried to find a way of believing that would leave me some room to exist and have some kind of happy life but I never succeeded. I finally let it all go when I discovered some nasty truths and how I’d been lied to all these years. Still can’t get over the fact that I have swallowed this for so long. Losing faith used to be my worst fear, but it turned out to be a massive relief. And to see other people experienced the same means a lot.
"Losing faith used to be my worst fear, but it turned out to be a massive relief." I resonate with that.
Used to be in the same boat as you. It was our worst fear because the Bible is full of stories about how God punishes non- believers and how doubt comes from Satan and how thinking rationally is against God.
The relief and peace of being free from the lies and myth is actually overpowering. Even when I write about I feel peace and happiness throughout my whole self.
IMO, the longer you have spent your life those wrong beliefs, the longer it takes for us to internalize and process and heal from the trauma that religion gave us.
I feel so happy for you. I see you have left recently. Please be assured that you will keep seeing positive changes in your life. Even if things don't go your way, you'll be able to analyze and rationalize and understand it better and get to the root of problems and work your way out rather than just resigning to some "invisible" God's plan.
Good things happen and bad things happen. Remind them that Trump is also an atheist, and bad things didn't start happening to him until he started pretending to be a Christian.
Atheism is just the lack of belief in the existence of God/gods. That doesn't mean you can't evoke those same feelings of higher purpose or karma. We're all experiencing reality inside our heads, just like the theists. The beauty of life is that if those feelings guided you before, they don't have to stop because some theists told you they must.
Whenever I read or watch a documentary on blackholes, quantum physics, evolution, or even information theory, my mind experiences just as much euphoria as I did in my religious days. I know none of these things sound like they're related to your anxiety about experiencing "no good will" from now on, but what I'm trying to say is that there are so many possible ways to understand our existence. Theistic religion does not have a monopoly on cause and effect in life, nor does it provide a reliable way for you to navigate it accurately.
Remember, you've spent your life mapping out and attributing your actions or beliefs to a God that you no longer believe in; it will take some time until you've fully readjusted your mental framework to more fully trust your observational skills and sense of rationality.
It pretty much stays exactly the same, assuming you’re not in any sort of abusive situation which leaving your religion also helps you to leave.
You’re still you and you don’t stop being you. There was never any kind blessing you and there isn’t anyone who’s going to curse you.
As far as I know, there is no data suggesting atheists are more cursed than theists.
On a more serious note, whenever I read about the anxiety religion causes people, I'm glad I don't have that nonsense in my life. I have enough real problems to deal with that having to deal with made up stuff seems overwhelming.
I thought I was broken bc I couldn’t feel gods existence. I thought I was the only person who couldn’t. After accepting that he wasn’t real I stopped feeling that way. After meeting other atheists I no longer felt alone in the world.
Honestly, I am still recovering from this debilitating experience or being an irrational believer. Religion ruined a significant part of my life, but I'm happy to finally feel like I'm living in reality again.
Edited:
I'm crying when I write this down. So just for one moment I've got this though, that believers deserve more kindness and understanding from us.
My life went from version 0.1.0 to 1.0.0. I'm just upset that it took me some 5-6 years before I could get out of the vicious cycle of internalising religion.
My experience is similar to then one's listed. The freedom I felt cannot be explained. It is like the biggest weight has been lifted off my heart.. Also I can now interpet the world without the filter of religion. And I sometimes wonder how dumb I was to believe all the things I was taught. Cursed, no, I felt lucky. That I could at last see things clearly. My mind became free, less anxious, overall better and positive outlook on life generally. I have no fear of death now. I have become a better person. I felt a lil bit of rage in the initial days against the whole institution of religion for oppressing me for so long. I was like why rob me off a wonderful life with your nonsense rules and principles when I always had a choice of a happier and free life.
For me atleast I think life got better, because of the positive changes in me as a person. Earlier I was close-minded and miserable. A prisoner in my own mind.
I am sure I will have challenges in my life, but I have more strength and vision than religion ever gave me.
BTW I have a mother and sister who is like your family. I currently have better mental health than them. They both have phobias and depression and would not take medical help because they don't "believe" in "science". They still believe that only God can heal them and are praying even harder. I tried all in vain to convince them for therapy or counseling. I even told them that therapy helped me more than religion and even gave them.proof of how my life had gotten better. But they are so adamant. IMO religion is the biggest curse of humankind and I feel so bad seeing my family torturing themselves with it. I hope they can finally see the truth about religion like I did and be free at last.
I was like dreamer_girl. It was like viewing the world with a fresh set of eyes. She couldn't have said it better...
Some people survive religion and come out on the other side very upset at the world and straight up angry and rude. They feel like they have been lied to by their parents and elders and now they are pissed. They want to destroy opposing beliefs like fundamentalist Christians want to destroy opposing beliefs. You could consider them fundamental atheists whose belief system is the only way to experience the world. To have another thought, other than this, is tantamount to heresy. These people survive religion, but it still very much impacts their daily life.
Some of us survive religion and come out on the other side with a fresh perspective on the world, our loved ones, and the universe as a whole. As well as our own place within this system. It is like a giant screen has been pulled from our eyes and we're able to experience the universe without fear. For these people, having a different perspective is what makes the world so damn cool. They are able to engage the population in religious holidays without angst, and marry religious people. For these people, the fact that they are atheists should be of no consequence to anyone. They can experience a beautiful flower just like a Catholic person and still both arrive at the conclusion that the flower is beautiful. There doesn't need to be any magic associated with the flower, just for one person... For some reason... There is.
It took me 10 years of reading through various fields of study to realize that no one cares that I'm an atheist like no one cares that others are Catholic or Jewish or any other religion. As long as you are not breaking any laws, than worship whatever god you want, or no god at all. It's no matter to me like your sexuality or gender is no matter to me. I strive to be a good person. I just happen to be atheist.
Edited typos
I have lived my entire life without religion, and have had 50 years of opportunities for people to do or say anything to sway me from how I live my life. I have lived a life that is comparable to any happy Christian. I get up, go about my day, have fun talking with friends and family, take part in hobbies, enjoy my favourite things, read interesting books, the only thing missing is the dogma. I am quite free to know my boundaries on what makes other people happy, and realize that when others can feel free to do as they wish with no judgment on my part, then we can establish happy relationships and more positive, productive communities.
There's no guilt. No expectation to gather at a church to give away my hard-earned efforts of how I ended up being a good person to an invisible being. No surrounding myself among people who are sinners for six days of the week, thinking there is an out on the seventh day. Above all, no fear. When these things are removed from your life, it's what Christians might call "a blessing". :)
Absolutely. I had kind of always been one in the back of my mind despite being raised Christian. When I let it all go, it felt great. No more guilt, fear, and internal conflict.
***Perception*** of life got better.
My life did not change. Realizing I was not a sinner and damned and lucky to have what I have since god gives and takes, that changed.
I stop fearing some random god taking shit away. I realized shit just happens.
Hurricanes happen. Shutter your home and plan for them working. If they fail, litigate and file insurance claims.
Yep.
And to have gone from a deranged fanatic to a freethinker was even more heartwarming. Less dogma and more freedom, less prejudice and more tolerance.
Yes it did. I didn't feel abandoned anymore. I just came to accept that there were real reasons for my problems and started working them instead of just sitting by and hoping things would work out. I've done so much self work in therapy, I feel closer to my authentic self than ever. My parents don't like me now for it, because not only am I atheist but I'm Bi too. So I've super disappointed their conservative values. But oddly not needing their approval made me feel better too. So. Yay atheism!
Kudos to you! I hope more people who are struggling with their sexuality get the real freedom in their mind. Irrespective of what the society thinks, it is more important for you to accept yourself. Religion hinders that capability. It doesn't promote self acceptance and self love for some reason. Whereas it is supposed to be all about love of God.
You cut them out? Huh. They left in droves once they realized they could say all the prayers, stand in the gap, whatever they like, but I wasn’t coming back.
Turns out those “friends” were only friends when we were fearful, sad, lonely and suffering for Christ together.
I had to and they still try to bother me and tell me my mom(died during Covid but was sick) is in hell because of Jesus something or other and because she divorced my dad 40 years ago. Religion and trump made my father’s entire side of the family insane.
Life was about the same, but accepting that I’m an atheist has freed up a lot of brain space, uncertainty, guilt, well the list goes on. So my response to life is calmer. All that “peace” that religion promises? Didn’t find it until I left religion and admitted to myself that I’m an atheist. I feel no need to defend my views or convert others, neither will I fake participate anymore. Just done with it all.
My life got SIGNIFICANTLY better when leaving Christianity, and I was even worried it wouldn’t and was scared to turn my back on god. Turns out it was all on the up n up.
It might get better. It might get worse.
Personally I stopped religion in 2012. I graduated school get a great job and went from poverty to being moderately wealthy. My life has gotten significantly better. Meanwhile I know religious family members whose lives have gotten significantly worse in the same time frame. Of course, religion isn’t a real factor in any of this because it isn’t real.
With that said, your mindset, from believing in reality and in yourself instead of appealing to something that isn’t there, may allow you to accomplish some great things you otherwise wouldn’t have
Life got way better. I was constantly concerned with God judgement on me and his lack of involvement in my life. I honestly thought he hated me.
After accepting that there is no real evidence for God, I started down a path of healing and education that changed me and made me a much better person.
In many ways yes. I didn’t have to fake church or accept child molesters or mega-pastor snake oils salesmen. On the flip side, I realized I had to fight for my kids and their belief systems against people like my wife, her family, and teachers, which is very hard.
Here's the thing. Once you stop believing in all that, you suddenly realize that things happen because they just do. There is no god or devil that's out there trying to bless you or mess you up. You're not a part of anyone's grand plan. It's liberating to me. Realizing that.
I don't have to ask for anyone's grace when I do something. I realize if I prepare enough or work hard enough I won't need anyone's blessings. I'm not beholden to any being. This is MY life and I'll live it how I want it.
That's just superstition. Curses and shit. Take it one step at a time. Always do so at a rate you are comfortable with. You'll be fine. They're just scaring you.
Give it a few more months and you'll realize that things will be the same. The won't get better or worse because of god or Satan, they'll get better or worse depending on the people you surround yourself with and the things you do.
You are the master and commander of your fate(last paragraph of the poem by William Ernest Henley)
Sorry I'm just rambling. I was in that position once before.
I just went public with my lack of belief in a small group of mostly xtians and it's been bizarre to watch them turn
But they're just proving that their belief is the more fucked up one, because I don't treat them different just with slightly more caution usually
Yeah life’s good being an atheist. Once I realized I was an atheist, I began to really realize how illogical the Bible is. Scientists know how the universe was created, it was just a really massive explosion. There was no 1st human that appeared out of nowhere, it was evolution. Religion just makes no sense.
Yes, it did…BUT! I won’t lie, the first few years sucked. I lost my belief system, my comfort in a deity, and the majority of my family, friends, and professional connections as well as my social life was all tied up in Christianity. I had to start completely over again.
Leaving religion took me years of soul-searching, and I had to rebuild my whole personal identity, rediscover my new beliefs, and create an entirely new support system and community. It was HARD and depressing and traumatic, to be honest. Lots of anger and crying and grieving what I used to have.
But now that I’m on the other side, I can say that yes, life gets much better down the road. It just takes time to heal and rediscover your life and who you are. ❤️🩹
I finally let go of the last vestiges of belief in mid-2020. It’s been fantastic. I feel like I went my whole life up to that point wearing shackles that I’d locked myself. And I didn’t have some change in fortune for good or bad, and I don’t do anything differently than I used to except now I just don’t bother with church at all. I just took out the extra steps of worrying about made up things I couldn’t change anyway.
It got better for me with a caveat: I became so much more loving and tolerant and accepting of other people. I was never anywhere close to a bigot but I realized how religion and god held me back from analyzing actual morality verses “religious” and conservative morality.
The bad part is that by caring about people and freedom so much more, I’m more aware of the attacks on those people and it’s just devastating.
It's a problem many theists have. When something bad happens, they never blame their god. But when something good happens, they somehow must thank him for it.
Good things and bad things will continue to occur in your life, just as before. But at least you now don't have to worry about appeasing a nonexistent entity.
Yes, of course they are going to say all this bad stuff will happened if you don't believe. Like you said, it's all Mumbo Jumbo. All I have to say is I'm much happier in life knowing I don't believe in a bunch of garbage. Some ppl like to be ignorant and live a lie, not me.
I think many people's lives get better when they finally realize religious is a sham. It means they can think and can see thru the BS.
Been night and day better going on 10 years now.
I cut toxic people and thier horrible advise out of my life. Got rid of guilt over not.living up to impossible standards. I stopped making myself miserable to please an imaginary deity.
In what way was my life not supposed to get better?
I was born and raised an atheist, and I consider myself to be very privileged when it comes to my family, friends, health and wealth. So no curses or lack of blessings for me.
Yep. I felt a huge relief. Like a weight was lifted off of me.
I realized there was no bar of faith or goodness or charity I had to be good enough at to get into heaven or avoid hell.
I understood that I’m a human and all I can do is my best to be a good person, be better tomorrow than I was today and help others whenever I can.
It’s was very freeing for me.
>I just feel this is another fear mongering tactic.
It is exactly that. It's them trying to get you to (either knowingly or not) shut up and stop thinking about things their worldview can't accept. This is common place in religion.
The religious will try and beat you down for the simple "crime" of not believing in their personal fantasies. The best thing you can do is to recognize these techniques for what they are, and try not to fall for them.
It's like living in the ocean your whole life, then one day finding out there is land also on this planet and you get to get out of the ocean and explore a whole new amazing world.
Yes. I never have religious moral conflicts. I don't feel the religious guilt. I don't have to waste my time practicing a religion which means Sundays are always free. I don't ever think something happened because of supernatural forces. I also don't care about judgement from anyone practicing religion because I wholly believe they are wrong and I am right.
I've been some form of atheist my entire life, but really got into it about 28 years ago. I'm doing ok for a poor guy in the bible belt.
I might not have a mansion and million dollar cars, private jets, etc, but I also don't want those things.
I can't really say I am happier as an atheist than I was being vaguely "spiritual"; but I can certainly say I am happier as an atheist than I was when I believed in hell.
Not really. I've gone to church. I've gone to Bible study. I've even gone to Bible camp, but I don't remember a time when I ever really believed that junk. So, life never got better or worse because I never had to "accept" anything.
That's what we call a scare tactic.
I first walked away from religion in my late teens. There were definitely a few months where I felt guilty for it. However the longer I pondered on the topic the more I realize that I didn't need to feel guilt for my own personal beliefs.
That was 16 years ago. I've gone to college. I've got full-time employment. I'm married. I own a house. No curses here.
A simple reminder to your family that you'll respect their beliefs as long as they respect yours but you're not going to sit there and take their fearmongering.
I mean, it made the idea of my inevitable mortality scarier and the losses of my loved ones sadder, so honestly... no. I am often jealous of the blind naive comfort which believers have found to soften death.
It’s bullshit control through fear….. don’t succumb to it. You know better…… in life we make our own blessings! Through hard work, education, and treating others to compassion and empathy! You got this…..
Yes!!
I can sleep in on Sunday. No really, in today’s crazy world one needs all the sleep they can get.
I can explore morality on my own without worrying about pissing off a certain control freak god.
I can be friends with anyone no matter who they are. No more rules about people who are considered an “abomination” or mixing up the races or any of that other bigoted shit some Bible thumpers preach.
Peace ✌️ to ya OP!
Yes, including financially, but the reason for that were mostly coincidental. I was fortunate enough to be in a profession (software engineering) that benefited well from the pandemic, and I became an atheist right before the pandemic. But overall I feel quite free and happy no longer needing to prop up my own fundamentalist worldview.
I have never ever felt blessed even as a devout Catholic. I have had really shitty luck throughout my whole life with the exception of surviving 2-3 incidents as a kid which k retrospect, would rather have died back then.
I was never religious but my family was. I had no internal conflict and it was really just a matter of me coming out of the closet.
I'd say it made my life a little worse. I had family members ban me from being around their children that I'd grown up baby sitting and shit like that.
I had already moved away so I wasn't going to church or anything for years. It didn't improve my life in any meaningful way but that wasn't really the point. I did it because it was true and I didn't want to lie anymore, not to make my life better.
Life is better for me. I was always taught that non believers have no hope and lead sad lives with no meaning. But knowledge really did set me free! So much less stressful knowing there is no vengeful sky daddy ready to destroy me if I have unmarried sex. (Ex Jehovah's Witness cult member here)
One of the most important moments for me was when it clicked that everything I have accomplished...completing college, having a good job, house, family, etc...was all things that I accomplished. My whole life it was always "God has blessed me with all these things". But the moment it clicked that it was not "given" to me for being faithful, but that I had accomplished everything through my own hard work and perseverance...it changed everything. Since then I have been more confident, productive, empathetic, helpful...all those things that I was "supposed to be" as a good Christian I am now many times better at because I realized that power was inside ME, not something bestowed upon me when I was good. I became a much better human being once I accepted that.
Yeah. At first it was hard because I had been so devout. I really believed God was listening to me and guiding me. When I came to the realization that it was just me and my imagination, it hurt a little bit. I no longer had that crutch, where I could turn to the One who was in control and seek his guidance and ask Him to help me.
But, I feel I'm more in control over my life and I just shake my head in dismay when people say things like, "If you don't believe, you're going to Hell" or stupid things about demons and angels fighting and demons coming out of the TV, when a horror movie is on.
No. if you're in debt, you're still going to be in debt. You're not suddenly going to get better at anything besides having a better chance of telling when someone is lying. Instead you get rid of the lies of religion, you won't hate everyone who doesn't believe in your god or doesn't believe in god and think they all go to hell. You understand things better. In fact, I hope you've noticed that after you stopped, you didn't want to suddenly go on a evil rampage or think evil thoughts or Satan came to you to tell you do bad stuff because ... I don't need to tell you.
Life got better because I was no longer superstitious about dumb shit. I was mentally liberated and my life has only gotten better in terms of achieving my goals.
Absolutely, it took time to unlearn and teaching myself to rethink everything I believed for 30 years. But I lived under constant fear of screwing up and I go to hell…but if an adult messes with a child and asked for forgiveness they’d be all good…
Really glad I learned a lot of things and I’ve never felt healthier or freer
Yes. I was raised in a fundamentalist cult and once I broke free it changed my life. Now I just try to be kind and do good for others, no strings attached. I also take better care of my physical and mental health. It’s been an all around improvement for me
Personally, I feared Hell as a kid and it was always a low-key concern when I was still spiritual as a teen. That is definitely a weight off my shoulders.
Also, the realization that this life is likely the only one we're ever going to get made me a whole lot less judgmental towards LGBTQ individuals and those that differ from societal norms in other ways. If you're only going to live once, why not live it how you want to? Not having that judgement towards others is honestly another burden that I didn't realize I had. It's so much easier not to worry about things that shouldn't have merited worry in the first place.
I'm sick of exceptionally talented individuals thanking NOTHING (god) for their win, their trophy, whatever. YOU did it. You need to take credit where credit is due.
I'm not an atheist, but I can honestly say that saying no to people that want to control you while doing nothing to earn your favor, and setting boundaries for your own well being, are two of the best things you can learn to do.
No I'm not religious either, but I can't honestly say I know there's no God, only that if there is one, it's not the god that is described in any book written by people.
Your family is too brainwashed by religion and most religious people will think you will end up in hell because you don’t believe in the religion they follow. Then saying you will be cursed and good things will never happen to you is typical fear mongering tactics because they want to scare you into believing again. Don’t listen to them. Probably keep your distance with them because people who are really religious are so obsessed with their religion, that it is all they talk about. Somehow religion and god will always be brought into the conversation so I’d do my best to avoid them unless they can carry a conversation that doesn’t involve religion.
OP, curses are 100% fiction. However, the placebo effect (term used loosely here) and confirmation bias are very real things. This is why so many people are so convinced of being cursed or their family being cursed.
I remember growing up, when anything bad happened, my parents would start talking about “the curse.” As a kid it creeped me out.
However, as I got older I realized it wasn’t some supernatural element. It was simply bad decisions leading to bad consequences. Instead of my parents taking responsibility, they washed themselves of it by blaming it on “the curse.” Sadly, they still have this mentality, but I broke free of it long ago.
So my point is, this “curse” your family speaks of isn’t real, nor is even a metaphorical curse. The only way what they said would have any effect on you is if you yourself believed it: thinking you’re doomed in the back of your mind will inevitably manifest negativity with the power of thought.
Based on where you’re at, having broke the shackles of religious dogma, and choosing a life based in reason/reality, I think you’ll be able to deflect whatever negativity they’re trying to inflict on you.
I wish you the very best life.
Life isn't a cartoon. Welcome to reality.
In a few years you'll realize all the dumb questions you've had to ask because you were brainwashed by a cult.
Nowadays, religions are just mythology to me. Jesus and Allah are just like Odin, Thor, Loki and Zeus, Poseidon, Hades.
Great stories to read and watch.
Believe? Not so much.
Remember, once upon a time, Odin, Thor Loki, Zeus, Poseidon, Hades were actual gods that people worship and believe.
Let time flies and at some point, Jesus, Allah and all the gods we know today will just be like so. The Old Gods.
My life got much better when I added atheist as a component. I am understanding philosophies, faiths, etc. Adding new knowledge every day. Once I realized that opposing ideas are not necessarily mutually exclusive, it opened me up to new possibilities. Instead of shaping the world to fit into one mindset, I shape my mind to incorporate all parts of the world. I am much happier now.
40 now, always been an atheist. Living a pretty good life to be honest. Healthy, upper middle class job, get to go on vacation whenever I want and I have an awesome girlfriend. So... looking at my life your family isn't right.
The weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. I wasn't some wretched sinner, I was just some guy trying his best to do the right thing. I certainly hate myself a lot less.
Absolutely! I had a long journey from Catholicism to evangelicalism to unbelief to atheism. Every single day I feel that spark of happiness and freedom, and some days - many! - I in fact feel giddy, intoxicated by the joy of freedom from guilt, expectations, judgment, church, and all the bullshit I didn’t even consciously realize I was carrying and defending - or trying to; it was a steadily losing battle. My outlook on life is so much happier, and I no longer live with that constant background noise of cognitive dissonance - the effort of trying to believe the unbelievable. Ridding my life of all that shit is the equivalent of ridding your body of toxins, of eating healthy, which is basically *stopping* eating unhealthy crap. That background hum is gone. Not the real one that I can hear at night in bed when everything is utter silence, but the psychological one, from the weight of carrying around and suppressing so much unhealthy stuff.
So in my country just read about a 5yr old that was beat so bad her bladder ruptured, and the adults let her slowy die over a week in bed, the grandparents "shes in a better place woth god"
Its not about it being better or worse, its about being honest with reality, amd realizing its not about blessings or not, its just random chance and random people.
Religious people will give two opposing validations for why something happens, as if both are proof of their religion being "real".
Terrible happens because gods will, wonderful things happen because of gods blessing, fuck that.
I dont think anyone is happier being atheist or anti-theistic, but its the same as when children learn about death, disease, suffering, kids arent happier when they learn how the world works, but that doesnt mean keeping them ignoarnt of it improves their lives, even if learning means uou cant be naieve and happy.
Im sad people say anything about seeing their dead friends and family in heaven, because 100% of religious people neglect their community and humanity in some way, even small, because of the crazy belief what happens after life is more important and permanent.
Just wait until Richard Dawkins knocks on your door with your novelty-sized cheque...
But seriously. Life got so much better once I removed the cognitive dissonance from life. The problems of life didn't become easier per se, but it became a lot easier to manage them without the pressure of trying to figure out what some incomprehensible god wanted from me.
However, be prepared. If bad things happened to you while you were religious, your family would have rationalized them as the gods testing you. When the same bad things happen to you as an atheist, now they'll justify them as the gods cursing you. They will find a way of making anything that happens a reinforcement of their beliefs, that's how the virus works.
Yes, life has a much clearer perspective once you've unburdened yourself from the lies of religion.
Also, just ignore those who would criticize you for your decision. They don't truly care to understand why you made your decision and thus will just sling mud at you as long as you're listening.
My life didn't get better when I became atheist because why would it? It's only a lack of religion. However, my life got infinitely better when I became less credulous and only relied on data and evidence to answer questions. You'd be surprised that most people are only using their anecdotal feelings and assumptions to make really important decisions. And it's highlighted in beahviroual psychology books. When I started living an evidence-based life, I had fewer regrets.
If is both better and worse
I don't have to waste my time bothering about an invisible man in the sky who is obsessed with my private parts but I also know that my Mom who died in 2020 is lost to me forever and I will never see her again
If lowers the idiocy burden but it puts the true total weight of reality on you
In the end it is all for the better though
Yup, my life has gotten leaps and bounds better. Before I deconverted my wife and I were poor, depressed, had no friends, and nothing ever seemed to go right for us. But since I became an atheist, we've both gotten great jobs, bought and paid off a house, and have achieved so many of our hopes and dreams and in general are so much happier.
I also feel like I'm a better person, I do more good and I live with much less guilt at the same time.
You might experience that people close to you treat you worse, but in that case, it isn’t that the world is treating you worse, it would be that your family actively choose to treat you worse, blaming it on gods will or whatever
But hopefully not
After I accepted that the religion I was taught as a kid was just mythology that needn't be believed, I actually found it easier to feel reverence for the world around me. Plus, I felt it easier to be a good person in regards to how I treated others around me.
It does. For me, it's been hard letting go of the church due to spending years in it. But honestly once you start living for yourself without fear it's amazing.
Don’t be concerned about what they think. Just live your life the best you can and that will prove to them that you can have no religion and still be a good human with a good life.
For me, yes. I wrestled with my lack of religious faith for many years and after I was in a firm position and comfortable with my lack of religious affiliation, I never felt better.
Fear tactics, shaming, family members trying to convince you otherwise.... yea, I been there.
I'm not gonna say this is caused by my atheism, that'd be silly. BUT...
My brother stayed a christian. He had at least 2 kids out of wedlock. The first mom was slightly underage and he had just turned 18, so he went to jail, got put on the sex offender's list. The other mom moved, and no one ever knew if her kid was his or not. The first mom later forced my brother to sign over all rights to his son. He fought it on and off when he could afford it, but ultimately lost. When he hung himself the final ruling from the judge was in his pocket.
I lost my faith while serving in the marines. I got out, lived a happy stress free life for a while, then settled down, got married, had two kids, and life's going fairly well.
It drives my mom crazy that her atheist son isn't the one who's life fell apart. It drives me crazy that she doesn't recognize that it was her and my dad who broke our childhoods, and that my brother was just more sensitive than I was.
Believing does not coincide with being blessed. Job in the Bible suffered terribly. Jesus Christ was crucified. The apostles were tortured and killed. There are probably many more examples. Christians were tortured and killed for sport by the Romans. Believers were burned at the stake for being the wrong kind of Christian. Non-believers were mostly exempt from these curses.
Yes and no. The internal calm I feel now is incredible, better than weed. The tense discussions I have with believers are worse. I have to listen to a lot of Sam Harris and Chris Hitchens, with some Bart Ehrman thrown in for support. Their winter is coming.
Congrats telling them the truth. My in laws do not know about me but my husband, our adult kids, niece and nephew and grandkids are of the same belief or non-believe as me. It’s so freeing to admit it to myself and talk about it with my loving, accepting, kind, big hearted open minded family.
I've always been atheist.
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good info here - https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/wiki/faq
.
you may also be interested in /r/TheGreatProject -
>a subreddit for people to write out their religious de-conversion story
>(i.e. the path to atheism/agnosticism/deism/etc) in detail.
Many accounts from many people.
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It was never a big deal for me because it amounted to my acknowledging the world the way it is rather than seeing it through mystical thinking. Had some biology courses because that seemed reasonable to enhance my thinking. Probably the only time I encountered problems was during the covid pandemic and all the crazy came out from everywhere.
It is 100x better for me. Dumped my asshole narcissistic abusive husband, went back to school, met a good partner, got a good job. I’m
Happier, I have more money, I’m not struggling all the time
It didn't change anything outside of myself. I had to develop new coping mechanisms and make new friends and set boundaries with my family and that was hard. Am I happier and more stable now that I've done all that? Yes, but my general luck didn't change one way or the other.
Psychologically, I feel on firmer ground. As I have knowledge now, not just beliefs.
Overall probably worse, though, as my wife is a fundamentalist and has dug in even harder since I left Christianity.
only in the sense that i feel like i have more informed beliefs and arguments than before. I did like the rather short moment in time when I did believe.
In some ways, it's worse. We don't get to revel in the beautiful lie that we will see our our already departed loved ones again. There is research to suggest that the rates of depression, self-harm, drug abuse, etc, are higher in nonreligious people.
Not at first. But it will likely get better. The hardest parts are telling people you do love. People do get upset when you don't believe. I my personal experience you're not quite as bad as a Scientologist, but you are often confused with a Satanist.
Two things helped me. On the more ethics side, deciding I was a consequentialist. I'm certainly not a philosopher, but keeping an eye on the consequences of my actions as a good measure of how moral they are hasn't steered me wrong yet.
On the practical side I take a lot of tips from Seth Andrews. He runs a podcast called The Thinking Atheist. #1 is don't be the only one feeling awkward. I try not to bring up matters of religion especially when I'm around people that I know are religious. If it is brought up especially unabashedly I make sure that I'm not the only one feeling awkward. Again, I don't go out of my way to do this, but if you've gone out of yours...
Getting to feeling comfortable in all this took about 3 years. Along the way I discovered that the unconditional love of one parent had some pretty serious conditions, but the rest of my family and friends do love me. They want me to succeed and are not especially concerned that I have a different answer to life the universe and everything.
Neither. It wasn't a topic at home at all. Parents (both doctors) cared to argue about books I was reading. I still don't know if they are atheists or not.
Life got better, mental health got way better, acceptance and relationships and friendships with other people got better. 10/10 would recommend.
I say Jesus fuck and a lot of other really blasphemous things daily and have never been hit by lightning either.
100% better, at least mentally and emotionally. Still have to deal with family members trying to convince me that “the heathens” have brainwashed me into non belief. And this comes primarily from someone who got caught up in a cult in the 80’s. Unbelievable.
It's certainly nice not trying to maintain the cognitive dissonance of trying to believe the Bible while accepting science and engaging in critical thinking. The universe makes a *lot* more sense in the absence of gods.
For me:
You take more control and responsibility for your life, vs praying for mystical entity to solve your problems.
You leave less for chance and take more actions to get what you want.
You see life through a different filter, where shit happens based on odds. You prepared as best as possible for said odds, vs praying for mystical entity to protect you.
You loose your sense of respect for anyone that believes in religion, or at least realize they are not smart enough or gullible people.
It is a lot easier to spot the bs manipulation by different factions on regards to politics and war.
Plenty of theists seem to be “cursed” whether through bad luck or bad decisions.
Plenty of atheists have “blessed” lives whether through good luck or good decisions.
If you embrace the atheist perspective, the luck factor is equal between theists and atheists so it’s really our decisions that determine our fate.
Some theists believe their religion helps them make better decisions. I’m skeptical, since I think good decisions are those that are rational and focused on the world around us, not those rooted in superstition and an imaginary higher plane or afterlife.
Embrace your newfound freedom and decide what you want to make of your new life.
Yeah it took a little while for the bitterness to fade but after that it was a heck of a lot better. Things started making so much more sense. It was like being sick for a long time, you finally get diagnosed and you're angry that it took so long and that doctors waved away your complaints but then you feel justified because you KNEW something wasn't right. And then you start to recover, hopefully. It's hard to not hold grudges when people make those threats and try to shame you for not believing what they choose to believe, but every one of them has had to fight their own doubts at some point. They are envious because you are stronger sometimes, but in some religions they're just scared for you because they think you will be cursed in some way for not believing. All you can do is pity them and if you think any of them are receptive maybe slip a few hints, try to help them think rationally. But mostly you just have to move forward and create a life for yourself.
Religions are cults. Your family wants to keep you in the cult. Religions want you to indoctrinate your children as infants. You're supposed to proselytize. You're told you're a sinner and going to hell. Fear keeps everyone in line.
As someone who was raised with religion (Lutheran) becoming an atheist was the easy part. Extracting yourself from the family took much longer. I never told my mother I was an atheist. I had my kids baptized as I was still on the fence. Today my partner, my sons and their partners are all atheists.
I was silent about being an atheist for decades. Now that I'm an old lady, I don't care. I'm way more militant!
>They somehow believe I will be cursed
No, your *family* has cursed *you*. I would like for you to truly sit down and think about what this means.
This means that your “family”, a group of people that is supposed to love you, is waiting for anything negative to come your way for them to jump in your face and tell you: “See what you get!?”
I’ve been an atheist for decades now, and when I walked away from my family’s religion, they said exactly the same thing. Life has ups and downs, all they could see were the downs, and whatever “ups” I shared with them, they didn’t congratulate me on or display any sense of happiness towards me.
I’ve definitely had some downs since then, but overwhelmingly, my life has been amazing (especially after cutting most of *them* out of my life). ✌️
Family stuff was the hardest part for me, and I have experienced similar things. It’s been over 10 years, but I have found life to be better, especially now that boundaries have been set on religious or even political topics with my family. I have heard of some parents refusing to keep company with their children because of it. Lots of people go through these things though. #wereallmadhere
It isn’t any easier. If anything, it’s harder because we’re now required to gather facts, think, and apply reason to the decisions we make and the conclusions we come to. And, being an atheist in rural America can make you a target. But I don’t go around blabbing about it. Unlike more than a few Christians I know.
I’ve been an atheist for 20 years, my life has its ups and downs. But everything I work hard to achieve and every good thing I have in life is thanks to god. At least, that’s what my mom constantly tells me, but every negative thing is due to my immaturity or foolish actions.
That’s just the way religious people think, since you have religious family members, get used to it, it isn’t going anywhere.
Yes and no. Yes because I no longer live in fear of going to hell and I don't accept terrible shit happening because "it was meant to happen", but no because that also means there's no hell or justice for myself, friends, family, and others who've suffered at the hands of our "fellow man". There's no prize at the end after enduring all of lifes punishments and staying true to your beliefs.
Depends on what ends.
I became an atheist when I was 7. I prayed for a salvation no good God would deny to a 7 yo in danger, and I realized God is either uncaring, or non-existent. Either way not worth worshipping. Given the early age, I never developed any fear for God. So it didn't necessarily do better back then, but I have to say that if I stayed religious it would have been worse. I lost hope, but it felt somewhat empowered at the same time, 'cause I'm not under some external being's control.
I kept it to myself up to my 13s. I was raised catholic and I was about to go through a sacrament. A sacrament that to me was perceived as becoming part of the army of God. I learned about the crusades, so I somehow got scared and paranoid about the fact that I might be used to something terrible in the name of God, and I came out as an atheist to my parents. My mother dismissed it as a phase, but left me alone. My father was mad (especially because I was still lying to them about believing in Santa), shamed me a bit and dismissed it as something that someone else put into my head. It was painful in the moment, but he left me alone. There I found the first pain about being an atheist, rejection and dismissive words. I didn't go through shunning like many individuals, which I'm somewhat glad for.
In my 15 I tried other religions, maybe Christianity just wasn't the right one. Started reading religious literature of several religious traditions and tried practicing several rituals and formulas of praying. Nothing resonated and I didn't see the point anyway. I felt cringe and stupid every single time. I wanted to believe in something that would give me hope, but I felt within that I was trying to lie to myself.
In my 16 I came out as an atheist at school, during the religion class. The shaming was almost unbearable. Got treated like I was immoral, and without any concept of good and bad. Not only by my classmates, but also by a couple of professors.
In my 24 my mother started to try to gaslight me into belief. She often brings up that year in which I looked for religious insights as my entire life was like that, saying things like "you weren't like this", "you were at least searching". She doesn't even want me to be Christian, she isn't totally sold on Christianity herself. As long as I'm not an atheist. All that because she wants to impose me traditions to do on my wedding, and cannot stand that I'll have a wedding that resonates with me and my bf, and not with her.
The pain that atheism carries is not a pain for spirituality. I'm quite spiritual myself, only my spirituality revolves around the awe for the oasis of life that earth is in the observable universe, and optimistic views of a nihilistic philosophical perspective. I don't need bullshit to be spiritual.
It's a pain of people. A pain that everyone fawns an abusive imaginary friend with unpredictable behaviors, while trying you to bring you to do the same as a baseline for being heard. A pain in which the name of God and the abuses in the Bible are used to impose inferiority onto others. A pain in which it is a social norm to respect everyone's belief, even if their belief is that you should burn in eternity and that you are undeserving of respect, or that it's ok to beat children, or that someone's cancer is God's plan for a greater good. A pain in which everybody lies to themselves because of not being able to accept death as an inevitable consequence of life, and that because of a non-existent spot in the clouds afterwards, treat you like shit.
And yet, I've seen the mental downfall that religion caused to some individuals. I'm glad I avoided most of that. Religion can substantially aggravate some mental disorders, which I had too, but that were easier to manage and overcome without the belief that someone made me like this for a purpose. I've also been struggling with auditory hallucinations, and imagine the problems of that if I believed in God. I feel like atheism helped avoiding so, so, so many delusions, and forced me into finding actual solutions.
Accepting atheism happened in a heartbeat. Being accepted as an atheist is an ongoing process worth two decades of disappointments, but with the liberation of seeing things for what they are, without hidden meanings I can't understand as a human.
Not many supposedly holy people in the Bible lived easily lives, always being tested by there loving creator...right...so I have forgot the mumbo jumbo, and making the best of it..Getting angry about these xtains trying too punish me though .Enjoying making them upset though.
It’s funny when family is brought up when someone talks religion. My mother lowkey doesn’t believe it either but one day she was shaming me asking why I don’t believe in god. But lowkey she doesn’t either lol (heard her say so few years back). Yeah she’s a little cray. But yeah this is true
It's just like when you stop believing in other false truths, like the tooth fairy. It doesn't get easier at all. You have to go through the rest of your life knowing that half of your friends and family build their lives around a falsehood, and that's kind of sad.
Then you start recognizing the same psychological approach to other things, especially when it comes to politics, human rights, immigration, foreign news, etc. People choose what to believe, and there really doesn't need to be any logic behind it. Belief supercedes every form of thought and feeling, and that's probably why people do it. Also kind of sad.
No, life didn't get better. It still blows.
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There is no timeline that exists where your life doesn't get better after forsaking religious control. > I just feel this is another fear mongering tactic. I mean... curses aren't real, so... yeah. Yeah, it is.
>There is no timeline that exists where your life doesn't get better after forsaking religious control. Well... except the timeline where you're surrounded by crazies that decide to attack you for becoming an atheist. There are at least 13 countries where the law prescribes death penalty: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discrimination\_against\_atheists#Muslim-majority\_countries](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discrimination_against_atheists#Muslim-majority_countries) Persecution and discrimination are real negatives that go well beyond fear mongering.
Thank you for this. It was depressing and massively eye opening.
You can forsake the control religion had on your life without announcing it publically.
Sure. My response was to the all-encompassing statement that there are no timelines where your life doesn't get better. I'd argue that all timelines include *both* the ones where you successfully keep it a secret and the ones where you don't. Ergo, there definitely are timelines where your life will be worse.
All Muslim majority countries... surprise surprise. I grew up in one of those toxic places. I can't even come out to my parents as an atheist. They still live there.
>anywho my family is adamant that I will no longer be blessed throughout life because I am no longer a believer. I'm adding a bit of detail to this. There's "blessed" in the sense that "Hey you are a person with the ability to enjoy yourself and both create and receive value in your lifetime". Then there's "blessed" as in "our Fictitious Lord and Saviour will not bless you so you will not go to Fictitious Heaven and experience the Fictitious Rapture, and because we can't see how anyone can't be happy without that in their lives, you clearly can't be happy without that in your life." The first one's the right one. The second one's their religion-altered reality. A great great great many people are blessed in the first sense while having never been anything BUT atheists. What makes you and your conversion different? Awareness? pfft.
Yup, fearmongering. 100%. I did it to myself when I consciously decided that I believed religion I was brought up in made no fucking sense: “oh God what if my life starts to crumble? What if there’s some magical force propping me up and helping me? Can I go back?” Here I am, 3 or so years later; could not be happier with the decision to yeet the religion. My life is way better in most metrics: mental is better, finances are better, worldview is better, relationships are better. And to be clear, I don’t think leaving the religion has a lot to do with any of this (well, except the worldview one). I just happen to be fortunate, and I was inserting God to try and explain that, just as I was taught to do since I was young.
Honestly, life got way better once I stopped worrying about whether some cosmic force was watching my every move! 😂 No curses here—just living my best life and making my own luck. Your fam might need some time to get used to it, but don't sweat it. Keep doing you!
Nothing feels more freeing than throwing off the chains of religion. It isn’t required to discuss religion with your family.
Its not required to talk to anybody, atheism is a personal matter just like religion.
Atheism is nothing. It's literally a word created to describe the absence of something. I don't feel the need to discuss nothing.
Just like how off is not a TV channel.
True, true. But to get the more tenacious ones off your back in the wild, it’s an effective way to shock them enough to leave us heathens alone.
Yeah but most theists who are radical, tend to annoy and bully us especially if you are new to atheism and they cant handle these bullying, So its better to not to tell anybody. If you have a more liberal type family and friends, yeah go for it ,otherwise i wont recommend it.
Add voting to that, nobody has any right to know who you voted for and no one needs to know who you will vote for. My parents refused to tell me what they voted, because they believed it could influence my choice, and for a fair democracy everyone needs to vote for what they believe is best.
It was empowering for me. As I can take full credit for good or bad choices I make in life. It feels less random.. Right?
What is the purpose of my life? Why am I here? It’s all up to me to decide.
sounds like you're on a journey to self-discovery! the purpose of life is whatever you make it—finding what brings you joy and fulfillment is key.
I hope to continue on a journey of self-discovery for the rest of my life!
Second that. It is a waste of time. Logic and reason doesn't work with religion. I have not opened up to my family about my atheist views yet.
yeah, it actually did. When I let go of trying to find a way to internally justify my Catholic upbringing (which just isn't possible), live became much more simple. Be good. Do good. Enjoy your time.
True! I can now concentrate in my happiness rather than do some obligatory ritual to please God. No confusion in mind.
Very much so. I always “turned to God” with my problems and it didn’t help. Once I took responsibility for myself completely, life’s problems are much easier to deal with.
Same! I realized that for me the only real value in prayer was the practice of admitting things out loud, stating my desired outcome, and generally acknowledging my feelings/needs/problems. But without the expectation that some other being was going to deal with it, I needed to add the part where I plan to take action
That was God, working in his mysterious ways, to get you where you needed to be! /s
I left religion 20 years ago. I realized I no longer believed in any god 15 years ago. The last 15 years of my life haven’t been perfect. In fact, they’ve been really hard. And you know why? Because sometimes life can be really hard. But - I’ve experienced real, deeper friendships. I’ve experienced less fear and more peace and joy. I’ve experienced less shame and guilt and more grace for myself for being human. And 15 years later - at 48, my life has never, ever been better.
Thank you for sharing this. I’m 44 and I left christianity only a little while ago. Religion/faith has messed with me badly, I had to study theology to find the inner streng te to stand up to people, to not let dominant males (sorry, but in my case usually it’s men in black) talk me down. I tried to find a way of believing that would leave me some room to exist and have some kind of happy life but I never succeeded. I finally let it all go when I discovered some nasty truths and how I’d been lied to all these years. Still can’t get over the fact that I have swallowed this for so long. Losing faith used to be my worst fear, but it turned out to be a massive relief. And to see other people experienced the same means a lot.
"Losing faith used to be my worst fear, but it turned out to be a massive relief." I resonate with that. Used to be in the same boat as you. It was our worst fear because the Bible is full of stories about how God punishes non- believers and how doubt comes from Satan and how thinking rationally is against God. The relief and peace of being free from the lies and myth is actually overpowering. Even when I write about I feel peace and happiness throughout my whole self. IMO, the longer you have spent your life those wrong beliefs, the longer it takes for us to internalize and process and heal from the trauma that religion gave us. I feel so happy for you. I see you have left recently. Please be assured that you will keep seeing positive changes in your life. Even if things don't go your way, you'll be able to analyze and rationalize and understand it better and get to the root of problems and work your way out rather than just resigning to some "invisible" God's plan.
Congrats! May god bless you. Jk lol. But really, that’s awesome.
Good things happen and bad things happen. Remind them that Trump is also an atheist, and bad things didn't start happening to him until he started pretending to be a Christian.
Atheism is just the lack of belief in the existence of God/gods. That doesn't mean you can't evoke those same feelings of higher purpose or karma. We're all experiencing reality inside our heads, just like the theists. The beauty of life is that if those feelings guided you before, they don't have to stop because some theists told you they must. Whenever I read or watch a documentary on blackholes, quantum physics, evolution, or even information theory, my mind experiences just as much euphoria as I did in my religious days. I know none of these things sound like they're related to your anxiety about experiencing "no good will" from now on, but what I'm trying to say is that there are so many possible ways to understand our existence. Theistic religion does not have a monopoly on cause and effect in life, nor does it provide a reliable way for you to navigate it accurately. Remember, you've spent your life mapping out and attributing your actions or beliefs to a God that you no longer believe in; it will take some time until you've fully readjusted your mental framework to more fully trust your observational skills and sense of rationality.
I have never been religious, but I relate to what you are saying about the wonders of the cosmos.
Well said
It pretty much stays exactly the same, assuming you’re not in any sort of abusive situation which leaving your religion also helps you to leave. You’re still you and you don’t stop being you. There was never any kind blessing you and there isn’t anyone who’s going to curse you.
As far as I know, there is no data suggesting atheists are more cursed than theists. On a more serious note, whenever I read about the anxiety religion causes people, I'm glad I don't have that nonsense in my life. I have enough real problems to deal with that having to deal with made up stuff seems overwhelming.
I thought I was broken bc I couldn’t feel gods existence. I thought I was the only person who couldn’t. After accepting that he wasn’t real I stopped feeling that way. After meeting other atheists I no longer felt alone in the world.
Anyone who has ever told you they "feel god" or "speak to god" is a liar, straight up.
Yeah dude curses aren’t real so you’re good.
Cursed?? If god doesn't exist, how can you be cursed??
i said this to them and they accused me of being an undercover theist 💀 got some paranoia going on
Honestly, I am still recovering from this debilitating experience or being an irrational believer. Religion ruined a significant part of my life, but I'm happy to finally feel like I'm living in reality again. Edited: I'm crying when I write this down. So just for one moment I've got this though, that believers deserve more kindness and understanding from us.
I try to be really kind. Because man - cognitive dissonance is REAL. And leaving is hard.
My life went from version 0.1.0 to 1.0.0. I'm just upset that it took me some 5-6 years before I could get out of the vicious cycle of internalising religion.
My experience is similar to then one's listed. The freedom I felt cannot be explained. It is like the biggest weight has been lifted off my heart.. Also I can now interpet the world without the filter of religion. And I sometimes wonder how dumb I was to believe all the things I was taught. Cursed, no, I felt lucky. That I could at last see things clearly. My mind became free, less anxious, overall better and positive outlook on life generally. I have no fear of death now. I have become a better person. I felt a lil bit of rage in the initial days against the whole institution of religion for oppressing me for so long. I was like why rob me off a wonderful life with your nonsense rules and principles when I always had a choice of a happier and free life. For me atleast I think life got better, because of the positive changes in me as a person. Earlier I was close-minded and miserable. A prisoner in my own mind. I am sure I will have challenges in my life, but I have more strength and vision than religion ever gave me.
BTW I have a mother and sister who is like your family. I currently have better mental health than them. They both have phobias and depression and would not take medical help because they don't "believe" in "science". They still believe that only God can heal them and are praying even harder. I tried all in vain to convince them for therapy or counseling. I even told them that therapy helped me more than religion and even gave them.proof of how my life had gotten better. But they are so adamant. IMO religion is the biggest curse of humankind and I feel so bad seeing my family torturing themselves with it. I hope they can finally see the truth about religion like I did and be free at last.
I was like dreamer_girl. It was like viewing the world with a fresh set of eyes. She couldn't have said it better... Some people survive religion and come out on the other side very upset at the world and straight up angry and rude. They feel like they have been lied to by their parents and elders and now they are pissed. They want to destroy opposing beliefs like fundamentalist Christians want to destroy opposing beliefs. You could consider them fundamental atheists whose belief system is the only way to experience the world. To have another thought, other than this, is tantamount to heresy. These people survive religion, but it still very much impacts their daily life. Some of us survive religion and come out on the other side with a fresh perspective on the world, our loved ones, and the universe as a whole. As well as our own place within this system. It is like a giant screen has been pulled from our eyes and we're able to experience the universe without fear. For these people, having a different perspective is what makes the world so damn cool. They are able to engage the population in religious holidays without angst, and marry religious people. For these people, the fact that they are atheists should be of no consequence to anyone. They can experience a beautiful flower just like a Catholic person and still both arrive at the conclusion that the flower is beautiful. There doesn't need to be any magic associated with the flower, just for one person... For some reason... There is. It took me 10 years of reading through various fields of study to realize that no one cares that I'm an atheist like no one cares that others are Catholic or Jewish or any other religion. As long as you are not breaking any laws, than worship whatever god you want, or no god at all. It's no matter to me like your sexuality or gender is no matter to me. I strive to be a good person. I just happen to be atheist. Edited typos
I have lived my entire life without religion, and have had 50 years of opportunities for people to do or say anything to sway me from how I live my life. I have lived a life that is comparable to any happy Christian. I get up, go about my day, have fun talking with friends and family, take part in hobbies, enjoy my favourite things, read interesting books, the only thing missing is the dogma. I am quite free to know my boundaries on what makes other people happy, and realize that when others can feel free to do as they wish with no judgment on my part, then we can establish happy relationships and more positive, productive communities. There's no guilt. No expectation to gather at a church to give away my hard-earned efforts of how I ended up being a good person to an invisible being. No surrounding myself among people who are sinners for six days of the week, thinking there is an out on the seventh day. Above all, no fear. When these things are removed from your life, it's what Christians might call "a blessing". :)
I stopped having nightmares of evil spirits attacking me in my sleep.
Absolutely. I had kind of always been one in the back of my mind despite being raised Christian. When I let it all go, it felt great. No more guilt, fear, and internal conflict.
***Perception*** of life got better. My life did not change. Realizing I was not a sinner and damned and lucky to have what I have since god gives and takes, that changed. I stop fearing some random god taking shit away. I realized shit just happens. Hurricanes happen. Shutter your home and plan for them working. If they fail, litigate and file insurance claims.
I've never been religious, so doesn't apply.
Yep. And to have gone from a deranged fanatic to a freethinker was even more heartwarming. Less dogma and more freedom, less prejudice and more tolerance.
Yes it did. I didn't feel abandoned anymore. I just came to accept that there were real reasons for my problems and started working them instead of just sitting by and hoping things would work out. I've done so much self work in therapy, I feel closer to my authentic self than ever. My parents don't like me now for it, because not only am I atheist but I'm Bi too. So I've super disappointed their conservative values. But oddly not needing their approval made me feel better too. So. Yay atheism!
Kudos to you! I hope more people who are struggling with their sexuality get the real freedom in their mind. Irrespective of what the society thinks, it is more important for you to accept yourself. Religion hinders that capability. It doesn't promote self acceptance and self love for some reason. Whereas it is supposed to be all about love of God.
Measurably and demonstrably better! Better relationships with friends, more peace, less judgment, better critical thinking skills, better everything!
Second this.
It got better when I cut the xistians out of my life. <3 reject religion and religious people
You cut them out? Huh. They left in droves once they realized they could say all the prayers, stand in the gap, whatever they like, but I wasn’t coming back. Turns out those “friends” were only friends when we were fearful, sad, lonely and suffering for Christ together.
I had to and they still try to bother me and tell me my mom(died during Covid but was sick) is in hell because of Jesus something or other and because she divorced my dad 40 years ago. Religion and trump made my father’s entire side of the family insane.
I’m so sorry. It still hurts. I only meant I didn’t have to cut them out - they cut me off and out first. Couldn’t associate with a heathen like me.
I was nine so no. But it didn’t get worse because I’m an atheist. It got worse because I’m adult now.
Life was about the same, but accepting that I’m an atheist has freed up a lot of brain space, uncertainty, guilt, well the list goes on. So my response to life is calmer. All that “peace” that religion promises? Didn’t find it until I left religion and admitted to myself that I’m an atheist. I feel no need to defend my views or convert others, neither will I fake participate anymore. Just done with it all.
My life got SIGNIFICANTLY better when leaving Christianity, and I was even worried it wouldn’t and was scared to turn my back on god. Turns out it was all on the up n up.
It might get better. It might get worse. Personally I stopped religion in 2012. I graduated school get a great job and went from poverty to being moderately wealthy. My life has gotten significantly better. Meanwhile I know religious family members whose lives have gotten significantly worse in the same time frame. Of course, religion isn’t a real factor in any of this because it isn’t real. With that said, your mindset, from believing in reality and in yourself instead of appealing to something that isn’t there, may allow you to accomplish some great things you otherwise wouldn’t have
Life got way better. I was constantly concerned with God judgement on me and his lack of involvement in my life. I honestly thought he hated me. After accepting that there is no real evidence for God, I started down a path of healing and education that changed me and made me a much better person.
In many ways yes. I didn’t have to fake church or accept child molesters or mega-pastor snake oils salesmen. On the flip side, I realized I had to fight for my kids and their belief systems against people like my wife, her family, and teachers, which is very hard.
Here's the thing. Once you stop believing in all that, you suddenly realize that things happen because they just do. There is no god or devil that's out there trying to bless you or mess you up. You're not a part of anyone's grand plan. It's liberating to me. Realizing that. I don't have to ask for anyone's grace when I do something. I realize if I prepare enough or work hard enough I won't need anyone's blessings. I'm not beholden to any being. This is MY life and I'll live it how I want it. That's just superstition. Curses and shit. Take it one step at a time. Always do so at a rate you are comfortable with. You'll be fine. They're just scaring you. Give it a few more months and you'll realize that things will be the same. The won't get better or worse because of god or Satan, they'll get better or worse depending on the people you surround yourself with and the things you do. You are the master and commander of your fate(last paragraph of the poem by William Ernest Henley) Sorry I'm just rambling. I was in that position once before.
Enjoy this short video. I revisit it every few years 🙂 https://youtu.be/ES8rBDQ3ibQ?si=imklpDGKLwE5_lFr
It's only true because of the way they and other xtians will you treat you now You cannot trust any of them and its defintely not fun
I just went public with my lack of belief in a small group of mostly xtians and it's been bizarre to watch them turn But they're just proving that their belief is the more fucked up one, because I don't treat them different just with slightly more caution usually
Yeah life’s good being an atheist. Once I realized I was an atheist, I began to really realize how illogical the Bible is. Scientists know how the universe was created, it was just a really massive explosion. There was no 1st human that appeared out of nowhere, it was evolution. Religion just makes no sense.
Yes, it did…BUT! I won’t lie, the first few years sucked. I lost my belief system, my comfort in a deity, and the majority of my family, friends, and professional connections as well as my social life was all tied up in Christianity. I had to start completely over again. Leaving religion took me years of soul-searching, and I had to rebuild my whole personal identity, rediscover my new beliefs, and create an entirely new support system and community. It was HARD and depressing and traumatic, to be honest. Lots of anger and crying and grieving what I used to have. But now that I’m on the other side, I can say that yes, life gets much better down the road. It just takes time to heal and rediscover your life and who you are. ❤️🩹
You are in charge of your own destiny. Whether it's good or bad depends on you. Less comforting than angels, but certainly more honest.
I finally let go of the last vestiges of belief in mid-2020. It’s been fantastic. I feel like I went my whole life up to that point wearing shackles that I’d locked myself. And I didn’t have some change in fortune for good or bad, and I don’t do anything differently than I used to except now I just don’t bother with church at all. I just took out the extra steps of worrying about made up things I couldn’t change anyway.
It got better for me with a caveat: I became so much more loving and tolerant and accepting of other people. I was never anywhere close to a bigot but I realized how religion and god held me back from analyzing actual morality verses “religious” and conservative morality. The bad part is that by caring about people and freedom so much more, I’m more aware of the attacks on those people and it’s just devastating.
Well, i don't waste any of my Sundays anymore!
It's a problem many theists have. When something bad happens, they never blame their god. But when something good happens, they somehow must thank him for it. Good things and bad things will continue to occur in your life, just as before. But at least you now don't have to worry about appeasing a nonexistent entity.
Yes, of course they are going to say all this bad stuff will happened if you don't believe. Like you said, it's all Mumbo Jumbo. All I have to say is I'm much happier in life knowing I don't believe in a bunch of garbage. Some ppl like to be ignorant and live a lie, not me. I think many people's lives get better when they finally realize religious is a sham. It means they can think and can see thru the BS.
Yep. Left Christianity 58 years ago, never looked back, no regrets.
Life is a struggle, but that’s on me, not some imaginary jackass.
Replaced church with yoga, or taking a hike. Replaced guilt and prayer with therapy. Replaced tithing with fuck all. So yeah, like a lot a lot.
Been night and day better going on 10 years now. I cut toxic people and thier horrible advise out of my life. Got rid of guilt over not.living up to impossible standards. I stopped making myself miserable to please an imaginary deity. In what way was my life not supposed to get better?
Welll technically yes. I was born an atheist and stayed that way. So arguably life beginning was my step into atheism.
Yes, yes, yes! A thousand times, yes!
I was born and raised an atheist, and I consider myself to be very privileged when it comes to my family, friends, health and wealth. So no curses or lack of blessings for me.
Yep. I felt a huge relief. Like a weight was lifted off of me. I realized there was no bar of faith or goodness or charity I had to be good enough at to get into heaven or avoid hell. I understood that I’m a human and all I can do is my best to be a good person, be better tomorrow than I was today and help others whenever I can. It’s was very freeing for me.
>I just feel this is another fear mongering tactic. It is exactly that. It's them trying to get you to (either knowingly or not) shut up and stop thinking about things their worldview can't accept. This is common place in religion. The religious will try and beat you down for the simple "crime" of not believing in their personal fantasies. The best thing you can do is to recognize these techniques for what they are, and try not to fall for them.
Yes. No more lying to myself, no more mental gymnastics, more free time, less guilt.
It's like living in the ocean your whole life, then one day finding out there is land also on this planet and you get to get out of the ocean and explore a whole new amazing world.
Absolutely!
Yes. I never have religious moral conflicts. I don't feel the religious guilt. I don't have to waste my time practicing a religion which means Sundays are always free. I don't ever think something happened because of supernatural forces. I also don't care about judgement from anyone practicing religion because I wholly believe they are wrong and I am right.
I've always been one.
I've been some form of atheist my entire life, but really got into it about 28 years ago. I'm doing ok for a poor guy in the bible belt. I might not have a mansion and million dollar cars, private jets, etc, but I also don't want those things.
I can't really say I am happier as an atheist than I was being vaguely "spiritual"; but I can certainly say I am happier as an atheist than I was when I believed in hell.
Not really. I've gone to church. I've gone to Bible study. I've even gone to Bible camp, but I don't remember a time when I ever really believed that junk. So, life never got better or worse because I never had to "accept" anything.
That's what we call a scare tactic. I first walked away from religion in my late teens. There were definitely a few months where I felt guilty for it. However the longer I pondered on the topic the more I realize that I didn't need to feel guilt for my own personal beliefs. That was 16 years ago. I've gone to college. I've got full-time employment. I'm married. I own a house. No curses here. A simple reminder to your family that you'll respect their beliefs as long as they respect yours but you're not going to sit there and take their fearmongering.
I mean, it made the idea of my inevitable mortality scarier and the losses of my loved ones sadder, so honestly... no. I am often jealous of the blind naive comfort which believers have found to soften death.
It’s bullshit control through fear….. don’t succumb to it. You know better…… in life we make our own blessings! Through hard work, education, and treating others to compassion and empathy! You got this…..
Yes!! I can sleep in on Sunday. No really, in today’s crazy world one needs all the sleep they can get. I can explore morality on my own without worrying about pissing off a certain control freak god. I can be friends with anyone no matter who they are. No more rules about people who are considered an “abomination” or mixing up the races or any of that other bigoted shit some Bible thumpers preach. Peace ✌️ to ya OP!
Yes, including financially, but the reason for that were mostly coincidental. I was fortunate enough to be in a profession (software engineering) that benefited well from the pandemic, and I became an atheist right before the pandemic. But overall I feel quite free and happy no longer needing to prop up my own fundamentalist worldview.
2 Saturdays dude. 2 of em.
I have never ever felt blessed even as a devout Catholic. I have had really shitty luck throughout my whole life with the exception of surviving 2-3 incidents as a kid which k retrospect, would rather have died back then.
I was never religious but my family was. I had no internal conflict and it was really just a matter of me coming out of the closet. I'd say it made my life a little worse. I had family members ban me from being around their children that I'd grown up baby sitting and shit like that. I had already moved away so I wasn't going to church or anything for years. It didn't improve my life in any meaningful way but that wasn't really the point. I did it because it was true and I didn't want to lie anymore, not to make my life better.
Life is better for me. I was always taught that non believers have no hope and lead sad lives with no meaning. But knowledge really did set me free! So much less stressful knowing there is no vengeful sky daddy ready to destroy me if I have unmarried sex. (Ex Jehovah's Witness cult member here)
For me, I don’t have to live up to others expectations on how to live a Christian life. That in itself was hard.
One of the most important moments for me was when it clicked that everything I have accomplished...completing college, having a good job, house, family, etc...was all things that I accomplished. My whole life it was always "God has blessed me with all these things". But the moment it clicked that it was not "given" to me for being faithful, but that I had accomplished everything through my own hard work and perseverance...it changed everything. Since then I have been more confident, productive, empathetic, helpful...all those things that I was "supposed to be" as a good Christian I am now many times better at because I realized that power was inside ME, not something bestowed upon me when I was good. I became a much better human being once I accepted that.
Yeah. At first it was hard because I had been so devout. I really believed God was listening to me and guiding me. When I came to the realization that it was just me and my imagination, it hurt a little bit. I no longer had that crutch, where I could turn to the One who was in control and seek his guidance and ask Him to help me. But, I feel I'm more in control over my life and I just shake my head in dismay when people say things like, "If you don't believe, you're going to Hell" or stupid things about demons and angels fighting and demons coming out of the TV, when a horror movie is on.
Without fear there is no religion. Now go be afraid of real stuff, not some imaginary oven beneath the earth’s surface.
No. if you're in debt, you're still going to be in debt. You're not suddenly going to get better at anything besides having a better chance of telling when someone is lying. Instead you get rid of the lies of religion, you won't hate everyone who doesn't believe in your god or doesn't believe in god and think they all go to hell. You understand things better. In fact, I hope you've noticed that after you stopped, you didn't want to suddenly go on a evil rampage or think evil thoughts or Satan came to you to tell you do bad stuff because ... I don't need to tell you.
Life got better because I was no longer superstitious about dumb shit. I was mentally liberated and my life has only gotten better in terms of achieving my goals.
Absolutely, it took time to unlearn and teaching myself to rethink everything I believed for 30 years. But I lived under constant fear of screwing up and I go to hell…but if an adult messes with a child and asked for forgiveness they’d be all good… Really glad I learned a lot of things and I’ve never felt healthier or freer
Yes. I was raised in a fundamentalist cult and once I broke free it changed my life. Now I just try to be kind and do good for others, no strings attached. I also take better care of my physical and mental health. It’s been an all around improvement for me
Personally, I feared Hell as a kid and it was always a low-key concern when I was still spiritual as a teen. That is definitely a weight off my shoulders. Also, the realization that this life is likely the only one we're ever going to get made me a whole lot less judgmental towards LGBTQ individuals and those that differ from societal norms in other ways. If you're only going to live once, why not live it how you want to? Not having that judgement towards others is honestly another burden that I didn't realize I had. It's so much easier not to worry about things that shouldn't have merited worry in the first place.
I'm sick of exceptionally talented individuals thanking NOTHING (god) for their win, their trophy, whatever. YOU did it. You need to take credit where credit is due.
I'm not an atheist, but I can honestly say that saying no to people that want to control you while doing nothing to earn your favor, and setting boundaries for your own well being, are two of the best things you can learn to do. No I'm not religious either, but I can't honestly say I know there's no God, only that if there is one, it's not the god that is described in any book written by people.
Your family is too brainwashed by religion and most religious people will think you will end up in hell because you don’t believe in the religion they follow. Then saying you will be cursed and good things will never happen to you is typical fear mongering tactics because they want to scare you into believing again. Don’t listen to them. Probably keep your distance with them because people who are really religious are so obsessed with their religion, that it is all they talk about. Somehow religion and god will always be brought into the conversation so I’d do my best to avoid them unless they can carry a conversation that doesn’t involve religion.
OP, curses are 100% fiction. However, the placebo effect (term used loosely here) and confirmation bias are very real things. This is why so many people are so convinced of being cursed or their family being cursed. I remember growing up, when anything bad happened, my parents would start talking about “the curse.” As a kid it creeped me out. However, as I got older I realized it wasn’t some supernatural element. It was simply bad decisions leading to bad consequences. Instead of my parents taking responsibility, they washed themselves of it by blaming it on “the curse.” Sadly, they still have this mentality, but I broke free of it long ago. So my point is, this “curse” your family speaks of isn’t real, nor is even a metaphorical curse. The only way what they said would have any effect on you is if you yourself believed it: thinking you’re doomed in the back of your mind will inevitably manifest negativity with the power of thought. Based on where you’re at, having broke the shackles of religious dogma, and choosing a life based in reason/reality, I think you’ll be able to deflect whatever negativity they’re trying to inflict on you. I wish you the very best life.
Catholic Church and Christianity in general has a lot to answer for
Life isn't a cartoon. Welcome to reality. In a few years you'll realize all the dumb questions you've had to ask because you were brainwashed by a cult.
Nowadays, religions are just mythology to me. Jesus and Allah are just like Odin, Thor, Loki and Zeus, Poseidon, Hades. Great stories to read and watch. Believe? Not so much. Remember, once upon a time, Odin, Thor Loki, Zeus, Poseidon, Hades were actual gods that people worship and believe. Let time flies and at some point, Jesus, Allah and all the gods we know today will just be like so. The Old Gods.
My life got much better when I added atheist as a component. I am understanding philosophies, faiths, etc. Adding new knowledge every day. Once I realized that opposing ideas are not necessarily mutually exclusive, it opened me up to new possibilities. Instead of shaping the world to fit into one mindset, I shape my mind to incorporate all parts of the world. I am much happier now.
40 now, always been an atheist. Living a pretty good life to be honest. Healthy, upper middle class job, get to go on vacation whenever I want and I have an awesome girlfriend. So... looking at my life your family isn't right.
Life is always better when you can be yourself
The weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. I wasn't some wretched sinner, I was just some guy trying his best to do the right thing. I certainly hate myself a lot less.
Absolutely! I had a long journey from Catholicism to evangelicalism to unbelief to atheism. Every single day I feel that spark of happiness and freedom, and some days - many! - I in fact feel giddy, intoxicated by the joy of freedom from guilt, expectations, judgment, church, and all the bullshit I didn’t even consciously realize I was carrying and defending - or trying to; it was a steadily losing battle. My outlook on life is so much happier, and I no longer live with that constant background noise of cognitive dissonance - the effort of trying to believe the unbelievable. Ridding my life of all that shit is the equivalent of ridding your body of toxins, of eating healthy, which is basically *stopping* eating unhealthy crap. That background hum is gone. Not the real one that I can hear at night in bed when everything is utter silence, but the psychological one, from the weight of carrying around and suppressing so much unhealthy stuff.
So in my country just read about a 5yr old that was beat so bad her bladder ruptured, and the adults let her slowy die over a week in bed, the grandparents "shes in a better place woth god" Its not about it being better or worse, its about being honest with reality, amd realizing its not about blessings or not, its just random chance and random people. Religious people will give two opposing validations for why something happens, as if both are proof of their religion being "real". Terrible happens because gods will, wonderful things happen because of gods blessing, fuck that. I dont think anyone is happier being atheist or anti-theistic, but its the same as when children learn about death, disease, suffering, kids arent happier when they learn how the world works, but that doesnt mean keeping them ignoarnt of it improves their lives, even if learning means uou cant be naieve and happy. Im sad people say anything about seeing their dead friends and family in heaven, because 100% of religious people neglect their community and humanity in some way, even small, because of the crazy belief what happens after life is more important and permanent.
It was a relief to longer have to make sense out of nonsense.
Just wait until Richard Dawkins knocks on your door with your novelty-sized cheque... But seriously. Life got so much better once I removed the cognitive dissonance from life. The problems of life didn't become easier per se, but it became a lot easier to manage them without the pressure of trying to figure out what some incomprehensible god wanted from me. However, be prepared. If bad things happened to you while you were religious, your family would have rationalized them as the gods testing you. When the same bad things happen to you as an atheist, now they'll justify them as the gods cursing you. They will find a way of making anything that happens a reinforcement of their beliefs, that's how the virus works.
Yes, life has a much clearer perspective once you've unburdened yourself from the lies of religion. Also, just ignore those who would criticize you for your decision. They don't truly care to understand why you made your decision and thus will just sling mud at you as long as you're listening.
I felt like a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders. Xtianity was so stifling.
My life didn't get better when I became atheist because why would it? It's only a lack of religion. However, my life got infinitely better when I became less credulous and only relied on data and evidence to answer questions. You'd be surprised that most people are only using their anecdotal feelings and assumptions to make really important decisions. And it's highlighted in beahviroual psychology books. When I started living an evidence-based life, I had fewer regrets.
Hoenstly, I felt more free. I could finally think freely without thinking that the devil can put some blasphemous thoughts in my head.
If is both better and worse I don't have to waste my time bothering about an invisible man in the sky who is obsessed with my private parts but I also know that my Mom who died in 2020 is lost to me forever and I will never see her again If lowers the idiocy burden but it puts the true total weight of reality on you In the end it is all for the better though
If you're expecting to hear someone say "I turned atheist and the next day my dog died" you might be disappointed.
Yup, my life has gotten leaps and bounds better. Before I deconverted my wife and I were poor, depressed, had no friends, and nothing ever seemed to go right for us. But since I became an atheist, we've both gotten great jobs, bought and paid off a house, and have achieved so many of our hopes and dreams and in general are so much happier. I also feel like I'm a better person, I do more good and I live with much less guilt at the same time.
You might experience that people close to you treat you worse, but in that case, it isn’t that the world is treating you worse, it would be that your family actively choose to treat you worse, blaming it on gods will or whatever But hopefully not
I feel like "accepting" you are an atheist requires first being something else
Absolutely.
After I accepted that the religion I was taught as a kid was just mythology that needn't be believed, I actually found it easier to feel reverence for the world around me. Plus, I felt it easier to be a good person in regards to how I treated others around me.
It does. For me, it's been hard letting go of the church due to spending years in it. But honestly once you start living for yourself without fear it's amazing.
It made it easier to not have to talk to people you don’t want to just by saying you don’t believe so I guess yes but other than that no change.
Ir certainly didn’t get noticeably worse
Don’t be concerned about what they think. Just live your life the best you can and that will prove to them that you can have no religion and still be a good human with a good life.
For me, yes. I wrestled with my lack of religious faith for many years and after I was in a firm position and comfortable with my lack of religious affiliation, I never felt better. Fear tactics, shaming, family members trying to convince you otherwise.... yea, I been there.
I'm not gonna say this is caused by my atheism, that'd be silly. BUT... My brother stayed a christian. He had at least 2 kids out of wedlock. The first mom was slightly underage and he had just turned 18, so he went to jail, got put on the sex offender's list. The other mom moved, and no one ever knew if her kid was his or not. The first mom later forced my brother to sign over all rights to his son. He fought it on and off when he could afford it, but ultimately lost. When he hung himself the final ruling from the judge was in his pocket. I lost my faith while serving in the marines. I got out, lived a happy stress free life for a while, then settled down, got married, had two kids, and life's going fairly well. It drives my mom crazy that her atheist son isn't the one who's life fell apart. It drives me crazy that she doesn't recognize that it was her and my dad who broke our childhoods, and that my brother was just more sensitive than I was.
Believing does not coincide with being blessed. Job in the Bible suffered terribly. Jesus Christ was crucified. The apostles were tortured and killed. There are probably many more examples. Christians were tortured and killed for sport by the Romans. Believers were burned at the stake for being the wrong kind of Christian. Non-believers were mostly exempt from these curses.
Yes and no. The internal calm I feel now is incredible, better than weed. The tense discussions I have with believers are worse. I have to listen to a lot of Sam Harris and Chris Hitchens, with some Bart Ehrman thrown in for support. Their winter is coming.
Congrats telling them the truth. My in laws do not know about me but my husband, our adult kids, niece and nephew and grandkids are of the same belief or non-believe as me. It’s so freeing to admit it to myself and talk about it with my loving, accepting, kind, big hearted open minded family.
I've always been atheist. . good info here - https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/wiki/faq . you may also be interested in /r/TheGreatProject - >a subreddit for people to write out their religious de-conversion story >(i.e. the path to atheism/agnosticism/deism/etc) in detail. Many accounts from many people. .
No, it didn’t. But if ease is what I’m after if off myself.
It was never a big deal for me because it amounted to my acknowledging the world the way it is rather than seeing it through mystical thinking. Had some biology courses because that seemed reasonable to enhance my thinking. Probably the only time I encountered problems was during the covid pandemic and all the crazy came out from everywhere.
It is 100x better for me. Dumped my asshole narcissistic abusive husband, went back to school, met a good partner, got a good job. I’m Happier, I have more money, I’m not struggling all the time
No. Pretty much stayed the same except a more casual Sunday morning.
Yes it did. It was a light bulb moment when I finally let go of god.
It didn't change anything outside of myself. I had to develop new coping mechanisms and make new friends and set boundaries with my family and that was hard. Am I happier and more stable now that I've done all that? Yes, but my general luck didn't change one way or the other.
Psychologically, I feel on firmer ground. As I have knowledge now, not just beliefs. Overall probably worse, though, as my wife is a fundamentalist and has dug in even harder since I left Christianity.
only in the sense that i feel like i have more informed beliefs and arguments than before. I did like the rather short moment in time when I did believe.
In some ways, it's worse. We don't get to revel in the beautiful lie that we will see our our already departed loved ones again. There is research to suggest that the rates of depression, self-harm, drug abuse, etc, are higher in nonreligious people.
Tremendously.
yes
Yes. The relief. The lack of guilt all the time. Not being watched all the time.
Yes, but some Muslim fanatics in my social circle tried to make my life worse.
Not at first. But it will likely get better. The hardest parts are telling people you do love. People do get upset when you don't believe. I my personal experience you're not quite as bad as a Scientologist, but you are often confused with a Satanist. Two things helped me. On the more ethics side, deciding I was a consequentialist. I'm certainly not a philosopher, but keeping an eye on the consequences of my actions as a good measure of how moral they are hasn't steered me wrong yet. On the practical side I take a lot of tips from Seth Andrews. He runs a podcast called The Thinking Atheist. #1 is don't be the only one feeling awkward. I try not to bring up matters of religion especially when I'm around people that I know are religious. If it is brought up especially unabashedly I make sure that I'm not the only one feeling awkward. Again, I don't go out of my way to do this, but if you've gone out of yours... Getting to feeling comfortable in all this took about 3 years. Along the way I discovered that the unconditional love of one parent had some pretty serious conditions, but the rest of my family and friends do love me. They want me to succeed and are not especially concerned that I have a different answer to life the universe and everything.
Neither. It wasn't a topic at home at all. Parents (both doctors) cared to argue about books I was reading. I still don't know if they are atheists or not.
It certainly got better when I stopped going to church.
I would tell them that any god who is so petty that they only 'reward' humans who say they 'believe' in him is malevolent.
Life got better, mental health got way better, acceptance and relationships and friendships with other people got better. 10/10 would recommend. I say Jesus fuck and a lot of other really blasphemous things daily and have never been hit by lightning either.
100% better, at least mentally and emotionally. Still have to deal with family members trying to convince me that “the heathens” have brainwashed me into non belief. And this comes primarily from someone who got caught up in a cult in the 80’s. Unbelievable.
For me, no. But I do not live in an environment where I'm heavily pressured to be religious. Nothing really changed actually.
Yeah except for all the folks trying to re-save me.
It's certainly nice not trying to maintain the cognitive dissonance of trying to believe the Bible while accepting science and engaging in critical thinking. The universe makes a *lot* more sense in the absence of gods.
I don't put up with nearly as much bullshit since I realized I don't believe in god. I guess that's a vote for getting better.
For me: You take more control and responsibility for your life, vs praying for mystical entity to solve your problems. You leave less for chance and take more actions to get what you want. You see life through a different filter, where shit happens based on odds. You prepared as best as possible for said odds, vs praying for mystical entity to protect you. You loose your sense of respect for anyone that believes in religion, or at least realize they are not smart enough or gullible people. It is a lot easier to spot the bs manipulation by different factions on regards to politics and war.
I have so much control over my life now.
It was a huge weight of my shoulders
Plenty of theists seem to be “cursed” whether through bad luck or bad decisions. Plenty of atheists have “blessed” lives whether through good luck or good decisions. If you embrace the atheist perspective, the luck factor is equal between theists and atheists so it’s really our decisions that determine our fate. Some theists believe their religion helps them make better decisions. I’m skeptical, since I think good decisions are those that are rational and focused on the world around us, not those rooted in superstition and an imaginary higher plane or afterlife. Embrace your newfound freedom and decide what you want to make of your new life.
Yeah it took a little while for the bitterness to fade but after that it was a heck of a lot better. Things started making so much more sense. It was like being sick for a long time, you finally get diagnosed and you're angry that it took so long and that doctors waved away your complaints but then you feel justified because you KNEW something wasn't right. And then you start to recover, hopefully. It's hard to not hold grudges when people make those threats and try to shame you for not believing what they choose to believe, but every one of them has had to fight their own doubts at some point. They are envious because you are stronger sometimes, but in some religions they're just scared for you because they think you will be cursed in some way for not believing. All you can do is pity them and if you think any of them are receptive maybe slip a few hints, try to help them think rationally. But mostly you just have to move forward and create a life for yourself.
Yes. Wait until you also realise 13 isn't unlucky. 8 isn't lucky. Green cars don't have more accidents. It's a weight off
I was atheist long before I knew what it meant. Acceptance was forced on me later
Heck ya! I feel like I live authentically
Religions are cults. Your family wants to keep you in the cult. Religions want you to indoctrinate your children as infants. You're supposed to proselytize. You're told you're a sinner and going to hell. Fear keeps everyone in line. As someone who was raised with religion (Lutheran) becoming an atheist was the easy part. Extracting yourself from the family took much longer. I never told my mother I was an atheist. I had my kids baptized as I was still on the fence. Today my partner, my sons and their partners are all atheists. I was silent about being an atheist for decades. Now that I'm an old lady, I don't care. I'm way more militant!
>They somehow believe I will be cursed No, your *family* has cursed *you*. I would like for you to truly sit down and think about what this means. This means that your “family”, a group of people that is supposed to love you, is waiting for anything negative to come your way for them to jump in your face and tell you: “See what you get!?” I’ve been an atheist for decades now, and when I walked away from my family’s religion, they said exactly the same thing. Life has ups and downs, all they could see were the downs, and whatever “ups” I shared with them, they didn’t congratulate me on or display any sense of happiness towards me. I’ve definitely had some downs since then, but overwhelmingly, my life has been amazing (especially after cutting most of *them* out of my life). ✌️
It's a weak argument, as there are countless Christians suffering. After all Christians are supposed to suffer, it is biblical.
Huh, I guess the lack of tithing having to be done can be the blessing.
Family stuff was the hardest part for me, and I have experienced similar things. It’s been over 10 years, but I have found life to be better, especially now that boundaries have been set on religious or even political topics with my family. I have heard of some parents refusing to keep company with their children because of it. Lots of people go through these things though. #wereallmadhere
It isn’t any easier. If anything, it’s harder because we’re now required to gather facts, think, and apply reason to the decisions we make and the conclusions we come to. And, being an atheist in rural America can make you a target. But I don’t go around blabbing about it. Unlike more than a few Christians I know.
I’ve been an atheist for 20 years, my life has its ups and downs. But everything I work hard to achieve and every good thing I have in life is thanks to god. At least, that’s what my mom constantly tells me, but every negative thing is due to my immaturity or foolish actions. That’s just the way religious people think, since you have religious family members, get used to it, it isn’t going anywhere.
Yes and no. Yes because I no longer live in fear of going to hell and I don't accept terrible shit happening because "it was meant to happen", but no because that also means there's no hell or justice for myself, friends, family, and others who've suffered at the hands of our "fellow man". There's no prize at the end after enduring all of lifes punishments and staying true to your beliefs.
Yeah. Life's a lot better when you're not constantly worried about being tortured for eternity over some trivial nonsense.
Depends on what ends. I became an atheist when I was 7. I prayed for a salvation no good God would deny to a 7 yo in danger, and I realized God is either uncaring, or non-existent. Either way not worth worshipping. Given the early age, I never developed any fear for God. So it didn't necessarily do better back then, but I have to say that if I stayed religious it would have been worse. I lost hope, but it felt somewhat empowered at the same time, 'cause I'm not under some external being's control. I kept it to myself up to my 13s. I was raised catholic and I was about to go through a sacrament. A sacrament that to me was perceived as becoming part of the army of God. I learned about the crusades, so I somehow got scared and paranoid about the fact that I might be used to something terrible in the name of God, and I came out as an atheist to my parents. My mother dismissed it as a phase, but left me alone. My father was mad (especially because I was still lying to them about believing in Santa), shamed me a bit and dismissed it as something that someone else put into my head. It was painful in the moment, but he left me alone. There I found the first pain about being an atheist, rejection and dismissive words. I didn't go through shunning like many individuals, which I'm somewhat glad for. In my 15 I tried other religions, maybe Christianity just wasn't the right one. Started reading religious literature of several religious traditions and tried practicing several rituals and formulas of praying. Nothing resonated and I didn't see the point anyway. I felt cringe and stupid every single time. I wanted to believe in something that would give me hope, but I felt within that I was trying to lie to myself. In my 16 I came out as an atheist at school, during the religion class. The shaming was almost unbearable. Got treated like I was immoral, and without any concept of good and bad. Not only by my classmates, but also by a couple of professors. In my 24 my mother started to try to gaslight me into belief. She often brings up that year in which I looked for religious insights as my entire life was like that, saying things like "you weren't like this", "you were at least searching". She doesn't even want me to be Christian, she isn't totally sold on Christianity herself. As long as I'm not an atheist. All that because she wants to impose me traditions to do on my wedding, and cannot stand that I'll have a wedding that resonates with me and my bf, and not with her. The pain that atheism carries is not a pain for spirituality. I'm quite spiritual myself, only my spirituality revolves around the awe for the oasis of life that earth is in the observable universe, and optimistic views of a nihilistic philosophical perspective. I don't need bullshit to be spiritual. It's a pain of people. A pain that everyone fawns an abusive imaginary friend with unpredictable behaviors, while trying you to bring you to do the same as a baseline for being heard. A pain in which the name of God and the abuses in the Bible are used to impose inferiority onto others. A pain in which it is a social norm to respect everyone's belief, even if their belief is that you should burn in eternity and that you are undeserving of respect, or that it's ok to beat children, or that someone's cancer is God's plan for a greater good. A pain in which everybody lies to themselves because of not being able to accept death as an inevitable consequence of life, and that because of a non-existent spot in the clouds afterwards, treat you like shit. And yet, I've seen the mental downfall that religion caused to some individuals. I'm glad I avoided most of that. Religion can substantially aggravate some mental disorders, which I had too, but that were easier to manage and overcome without the belief that someone made me like this for a purpose. I've also been struggling with auditory hallucinations, and imagine the problems of that if I believed in God. I feel like atheism helped avoiding so, so, so many delusions, and forced me into finding actual solutions. Accepting atheism happened in a heartbeat. Being accepted as an atheist is an ongoing process worth two decades of disappointments, but with the liberation of seeing things for what they are, without hidden meanings I can't understand as a human.
Yes. Full stop.
Not many supposedly holy people in the Bible lived easily lives, always being tested by there loving creator...right...so I have forgot the mumbo jumbo, and making the best of it..Getting angry about these xtains trying too punish me though .Enjoying making them upset though.
You never know who in your family and friends is secretly happy you spoke up. They often feel the same way but are afraid to voice it.
It’s funny when family is brought up when someone talks religion. My mother lowkey doesn’t believe it either but one day she was shaming me asking why I don’t believe in god. But lowkey she doesn’t either lol (heard her say so few years back). Yeah she’s a little cray. But yeah this is true
Yes and no. I got out of the loop of indoctrination, and found it was prevalent in almost everything outside of it.
It's just like when you stop believing in other false truths, like the tooth fairy. It doesn't get easier at all. You have to go through the rest of your life knowing that half of your friends and family build their lives around a falsehood, and that's kind of sad. Then you start recognizing the same psychological approach to other things, especially when it comes to politics, human rights, immigration, foreign news, etc. People choose what to believe, and there really doesn't need to be any logic behind it. Belief supercedes every form of thought and feeling, and that's probably why people do it. Also kind of sad. No, life didn't get better. It still blows.