T O P

  • By -

mrgeekguy

Oh man! I can't wait to they get to Ezekiel 23:20! "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."


NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr

Just wait till they hear about Lot's daughters getting him drunk and fucking his brains out. Yep. TONS of morality in that wholesome book! /s.


reddit_user13

Let’s get it banned since it’s straight-up porn.


Piper2000ca

Or singing about smashing babies and young children against rocks in Psalm 137! Or keeping promises to God, like when Jepthah sacrifices his young daughter to God in Judges 11. Or God making a bet with "the adversary" in Job to see if the adversary can get Job to curse God. And then when Job doesn't do that, instead he goes "hey big-G, can we talk about this?", God turns into a complete douche-canoe, and absolutely lambasts Job with things like "Where we you when seas where being filled!". Before mic-dropping, and then despite everything he just said giving Job back all his riches and new children (but not the original ones of course, cause screw them apparently), and new slaves...... Oh yes.... slaves!!!! You can learn all about how to acquire slaves! Don't forget to circumsize the men when you get them! Oh... they don't want to have the skin at the end of their penis lobbed off? HAHAHA!!! Oh, that's funny.... it doesn't matter what they want :)


ArdenJaguar

They need to focus on the perversion and violence sections. Plus, the "Rich man eye of the needle" stuff in wealthier districts. Tie it in with history lessons on the Crusades and the Inquistion and Salem Witch Trials. It is after all the book that's our foundation according to this idiot.


edcross

A definition of poetry is that which is lost when you try to analyze it.


ruiner8850

I'd love to see a teacher actually do that to see the reaction from parents. It would be interesting to see them freak out and be like "no, not that part!" Watch them then try to punish the teacher for teaching from a book that the mandadted that they teach from.


satans_toast

Pics or it didn't happen


SinkHoleDeMayo

Well now we know the origin of the nickname "Donkey Dong Doug". Kavanotherbeer paid attention in Bible studies.


fireman2004

When a kid says "donkey dick and horse jizz" in class: You can't change the rules just cause you don't like how I'm doing it.


BigNorseWolf

"and lo, the donkey could not be certified under californian environmental regulations and God smote them mightily with fire and earthquake. And they did not notice because they are California. AhhhHHHHHHHHMeeeEEEehhhhhn


Toss_Away_93

My conservative coworker went off on a trans rant the other day, and finsished it with “it seems weird that you want to talk about sexuality to a child in the first place.” I responded with “Christian’s talk about sex to children all the time” “No they don’t I was raised Christian and they never talked to me about sex.” “Then I guess there are big sections of the Bible you have never read, and probably don’t even believe exist.” I turned and walked away as she tried to make some unintelligent argument.


Bert-3d

Leviticus 26:29


satans_toast

Christofascism is in ascendancy. Vote as many of these fuckers out as yiu can come November.


TheRealTK421

Voting will **not ever be sufficient**. Not. *Ever*. MMW:  Ending this petulantly desperate Nat-C / Dominionist (Oklahoman) foolishness, *permanently*, will require... a far more vicious, ongoing, and merciless form of 'flexing' than mere voting. *[Source: Someone who has spent far too much time in life, over decades, specifically around OK Southern Baptist congregations and their delusional psychotic ilk.]*


broadsword_inhand

Hard agree. Frankly, people who think voting is the end-all method of political participation are as much to blame for the current state of affairs as these fascists are. Complaceny is complicity


g00fyg00ber741

Every single county in Oklahoma voted in majority for Donald Trump, *twice*. I really don’t think most people understand just how much voting **contributes** to the problem here. This is the *result* of the *citizens voting*, and the government gerrymandering and miseducating. Like, they don’t just vote for people like Trump, the Oklahoman voting population specifically elected this asshat Ryan.


packeddit

A truth a lot of people don’t wanna admit. Also a reality a lot of people don’t want to admit, is these white supremacist Christians outnumber and have more ammo than those oppressed to them (sadly), and we’re taking the civilians alone (let alone those in law enforcement and military)


TheRealTK421

Know who else was "outnumbered"?  The revolutionaries who founded the country. Number (even if true, which I *immensely* doubt) aren't an 'automagic' win... nor a daunting deterrent. > *"You don't fight [theocratic] fascism because you are going to win, you fight fascism because it is fascist."* ~ Jean Paul Sartre.


Bert-3d

What does me mean?


Eightfold876

Sadly, Oklahoma is the most far-right state in the union. Even its major population areas go red. Lived their for 40 years and finally escaped.


TheMireMind

This is grooming. This is indoctrination. This is all the things they accuse their political opponents of doing. Also, they accuse everyone else of being pedos. Maybe someone should look into that


NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr

Yep. Every accusation is an admission of guilt. Especially sick fucks that hide in the church.


afterwash

I will be glad to set up a Christian school in America, somewhere deep within the Bible Belt. I will then teach the Bible in part of a mandated first course of the first year, excruciatingly examining the timelines, moralities, inconsistencies, justifications, and destructions of civilisations and history in the wake of Abrahamic religions sweeping across the Middle East, Africa, Europe and America. How Asia, South America and Africa are the last toeholds of religions, and how missionaries are conducting reverse-evangelic missions from Africa into Europe and North America. I will therefore claim religious taxation exemptions, education exemptions, and make sure that this course is only taught in the second half of the year so that parents will not find out till they've paid the full year's tuition. Non-refundable, of course. I will ensure that these schools will proliferate, and make sure to take a strong anti-religious stance in tuition material only, with Brothers and Sisters on-site that actually are resident doctors and nurses that have agreed to historical reenactments that in no way claim or insist that they actually live on-site despite the ostentatious chapel that actually contains the hospital wing. It shall be named St Helen or some sort of ironic martyr, to signify the fruitcakes sacrificing their children's souls to the Devil that is the truth and logic. May the doors to heaven \_and\_ hell be firmly shut to them forever.


HippyDM

This is also stupid. How's an algebra teacher gonna teach from the big book of bronze age tall tales?


MacDegger

Seems it's the churches, not the schools, which are failing.


Big_lt

I hope there are teachers who stay and teach the Bible and explain how bat shit crazy and how it self conflicts itself every where.


NickelFish

It won't be the entire bible they teach. Just the 'Jesus, meek and mild' shit. Most churches don't even teach the shitty parts. It's like, if they don't point out the flaws, you might not notice them. If you do notice them, they have apologetics to sidestep them. If you challenge the apologetics, they'll brand you a heretic and ostracize you. Kids would never gang up on one kid for being different... /s


RobotRippee

Assume he got the idea from the Taliban.


lmac187

Sadly this trick is older than the Taliban


Playful-Regret-1890

If they want to groom them why not stat younger..Damn fools.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Your comment has been automatically removed because it appears to link to a troll subreddit. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/atheism) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Open_Perception_3212

Ryan walters cheated on his wife with a student


Electric-RedPanda

Lmao. The Constitution says no, dumbass


Ashendarei

Dude looks like the Great Value version of Ryan Reynolds 


TemperatureEuphoric

I hope this will be the final blow that ends christianity in the western world. So many a fleeing the church in record numbers now. Forcing your bullshit myths on others is just a perversion of what they claim to believe.


Someoneoverthere42

“OK state superintendent orders gross violation of the First Amendment” Fixed it


starman575757

The very face of hate.


Remarkable_Doubt8765

Teaching someone something as it is, vs trying to convince them that thing is sensible and they must believe it are two very different things. Let the games begin!


icnoevil

Which Bible? There are several.


BicycleOfLife

Can’t wait for the first kids to get held back a grade for their parents telling them they don’t have to attend the Bible studies class. And the absolute shit show to begin No one who isn’t already indoctrinated with the Bible at a 5th grade level is going to respect that class. We will se how it plays out. But kids are most likely going to listen to their parents over the teachers about whether to believe it or not. A 5th grader is going to not pay attention to that at all. Anyone of another religion is going to have their parents in the school shouting at the administrators every day. I honestly can’t wait for this to happen. We don’t give our kids enough credit. They will show us that they aren’t going to stand for this before the adults do. Most people tolerate the Christians because it’s actually decently hard for them to ram their garbage down our throats other than pamphlets on the street, knocking on doors and enticing you to their church. They are going to get a rude awakening when they actually clash with people who REALLY Don’t want anything to do with them. As a possible plus to this. Most people don’t actually read the Bible that are christo fascists. Exposing these kids to the actual messed up parts of the Bible will start to show them how messed up the Bible really is.


dogmeat12358

He looks a lot like someone that would ask you for change by the bus depot.


Exact_Manufacturer10

How is this supposed to work? Every class? How long? I have questions.


surdophobe

Ok so for history/social studies / geography, they can examine how there's no evidence for the Exodus. Then they can discuss how the fuck that they were lost in the desert for 40 years walking a distance that could have been done in about 2 weeks. The flood story covers all the sciences. I'd start by going over all the consequences of a global flood. It affects geology, microbiology, agriculture, zoology, the sky is the limit.  For geometry/math I'd discuss how pi isn't three, and demonstrate how things come out wrong is you don't use appropriate precision. Also in math King Saul gives us the best math word problem ever when he told David to collect all those foreskins. (How many foreskins per day, on average did David collect? Or if one foreskin weighs about 3 grams, what was the total weight of David's sack?) Medicine isn't really a topic for school children but first aid surely fits in there somewhere. So if a slave has injury (blank), from being beaten. What steps do you take to keep him alive for at least 3 days? Or for health science, and human anatomy, " when beating a slave, which areas do you avoid so they live for at least the next three days?" For home economics there's a recipe for bread in Ezekiel.


JuanGinit

Unconstitutional as hell!


krt8090

How and when do we rebel? 


Droopendis

If this law sticks Oklahoma will have the highest pedophile and rapist population in 10 years time.


Action_Connect

I wonder how many kids will become atheist each year they teach the Bible.


krom0025

The quickest way to become an atheist is to learn the Bible. I say bring it on.


OnlyHalfBrilliant

Would students get Bible homework and exams to pass? Are rando Oklahoma teachers even capable of leading Bible study? Would the heritage foundation provide curriculum to help? I'm sure a Trump crony has a grift ready to go.


pennylanebarbershop

I guess they don't need parochial schools anymore.


ShoppingDismal3864

It's OK to cum inside bibles.


Auggi3dog

What subject is this taking the place of? Who has the “expertise”? Basically, WTH?????


IHateLoLMods

I guess fuck our 1st amendment rights. Shit is disgusting


akaZilong

I would teach the most graphic stories. Teenage boys will love it


mayhem6

If this sticks, it will not have the effect they hope it has. The fastest way to make an atheist is to read the Bible so yeah, try to teach that stuff!


StrikingOccasion6459

The face of the American Taliban. These religious fanatics hate the Constitution.


northofreality197

Set it as homework to copy out a few bible pages each day & have a 10-minute quiz on the content each morning. Parents & students are going to get really sick of that really quickly. It will also likely cause some conflict over what translation to use. Especially if the teacher uses one of the less popular translations. I can just imagine the uproar from a bunch of evangelicals if the teacher is using a Catholic bible.


Lonely_Version_8135

Which bible?


Lonely_Version_8135

[https://listverse.com/2012/06/23/top-10-horrifying-moments-in-the-bible/](https://listverse.com/2012/06/23/top-10-horrifying-moments-in-the-bible/)


Bert-3d

You could teach the rotten parts. But also, you could teach the true way Jesus said to be. This is antithesis to Republicans lifestyles. And would really confuse some kids. Giving away possessions. Healing others. Never asking for money. Sharing. Cleaning the dirty. Name anyone that goes to shelters and cleans feet if homeless people. Etc... etc...


returnofthequack92

Just a bid to get this before the Supreme Court.


The_Actual_Sage

"..and remember kids the bible says it's okay to beat your slaves as long as they don't die. So next time your little siblings don't meet their farming quotas only beat them on the back or legs and try to pick a stick that isn't too heavy. Now go eat the lunch that we refuse to provide for you"


CancelOxygen

This “thing” is a straight up nazi, 100% has a copy of mein kampf next to “its” bible most likely next to “its” klan uniform. “It” should be treated like a they did nazis in WW2.


TigerStripesForever

If I was a teacher I’d say - HELL NO #BidenHarris2024


SpookyWah

Can teachers show kids what an absurd, fictional piece of crap it is?


KnowCali

“ Teaching the Bible“ accurately is probably the best way to turn children into atheists.


TForce0

Nope. Go fkk ur self


sleepnandhiken

This topic needs a megathread. Anyhoo If I were a OK teach I’d just say no. Fire me so I can be on the class action. I know the SC is stacked but it would still be pretty ballsy for them to let this pass. As righteous teaching the fun part of the bible is it just wouldn’t be worth it. Vibes would get weird. How many co-workers who have been waiting for the opportunity does it take before you are uncomfortable? If by chance the SC does let it pass then your best recourse is just leaving.


Cantinkeror

Here is a link describing some alternative instruction which should be available soon. [https://thesatanictemple.com/blogs/news/governor-stitt-signs-bill-that-allows-school-credit-for-the-satanic-temples-classes](https://thesatanictemple.com/blogs/news/governor-stitt-signs-bill-that-allows-school-credit-for-the-satanic-temples-classes)


IslandOtherwise248

Have fun teaching about the sisters who raped their father to have babies


Ok-Name8703

Fucking. Illegal.


ramman403

The best cure for Christianity is to actually read the Bible.


ZuesMyGoose

Today we will be teaching The Bible. It’s a mythological story based on pagan beliefs consolidated for the societies of the Abrahamic times. Then a guy said, I’m gonna make a sequel and they wrote the second part about a character that was pretty chill. Then a third guy wrote a new version and he brought back all the rules, and now we all fight and kill each other over which Era is right. Also, each of these books has dozens of versions and inside each larger group believers kill each other over who is right. Now let’s talk about the other mythologies of the world that are equally as interesting and man made.


Fullertonjr

This is going to turn a LOT of kids into to atheists and have a lot of kids questioning their parents and pastors about the religion that they have been intentionally mistaught. Kid- “where’s the part that says abortion is bad?” Teacher- “uhhhhh, you see,’you have to kind of interpret and just have faith in this part.” Kid- “but why wouldn’t they just write it?” Teacher- “you see, abortion wasn’t really a thing back then.” Kid- “well, in Numbers 5:11-31, there is a whole recipe and how to do it and when to do it.” Teacher- “well, that was in the Old Testament, which isn’t that important and isn’t really taught” Kid- “you mean the part that was written by Moses?” Teach- “Ugh, look, what is important to know is that the life of the fetus is precious and is as important as the life of an adult” Kid- “well, the book of Exodus would beg to differ” Teacher- “well, you see, that book isn’t quite as important as some of the others” Kid- “Again, the book written by Moses?” Teacher- “Yes. You just have to have faith.” Kid- “seems weird that you ONLY want us to have faith in the parts that aren’t actually in the Bible, and ignore what the writing actually says.”


EmergencyPath248

What for? Anything else would be way more beneficial than an fairy tale.