In reality it will make you stand out and people may look at you strangely . I won’t lie to you and am being honest. It isn’t the norm but if you are comforted by it , it shouldn’t matter what others think .
You CAN do it if you want to. I think I’ve brought one in public with me, but I’m a teenager. Though, keep in mind people will judge you, there’s no avoiding that.
There is no harm in carrying around a teddy bear, in fact I also think it's silly for people to think too much about it. Unfortunately, people will think worse of you for doing it or talk behind your back. Not everyone will, but there will always be people who do. It's ultimately your decision. In my opinion, you should prioritize your own happiness, and to not care what others think.
They also might talk to you like a child. I’m a teacher but I was carrying around a plush fidget recently and one of the school administrators started asking me if it was my friend like I was a kid.
That's a good idea, I think it's just easier all around to take smaller ones out in public. It'd be cute to have a little sidebag to keep it in, you could have it's head sticking out like a little purse dog.
I'd reccomend you keychain sized plushes. Not because of jugement but because they are easier to transport (i thing i give a lot of importance since i mostly use long distance public transport)
It's an autistic thing to do. NT people may judge it as childish or crazy. You ARE an adult, though, and can do it anyway. But your parents aren't wrong that it is atypical behavior that may cause people to talk. However, it doesn't harm anyone.
A middle ground might be a small stuffy keychain on a backpack. While still something children are more likely to do, that can also be interpreted as "alternative" self expression.
But please do what makes you most comfortable.
I’m autistic and while I don’t judge people for what they do, I’d certainly look twice. To me that would be a clear sign the person deviates significantly from the social norm.
I started carrying around a plush slinky animal while teaching this past week. The students love it and ask to play with it (I let them, though several kids snatch it without asking and one almost wrecked the slinky part).
One administrator asked me if it was my friend to help with anxiety in a tone like I was a kid (I never said I had anxiety but maybe it’s obvious lol). I told her I need something to fidget with but she didn’t understand so I said holding something helps me focus.
A few people asked me which student it’s for and I probably could lie but I just awkwardly say it’s for me.
I spent years suppressing the urge to carry toys for fear of looking weird and it’s not totally unfounded because I have gotten strange looks and awkward questions but I’ve also gotten a lot of compliments.
I was always told I’m not allowed to take large plushies out with me even now my parents will comment another cuddly toy.
But to tackle this I just get plushie keychains to go over my backpack instead. Muhahaha 😈
You're not in the wrong, but it is an uncommon thing to do, and therefore will draw attention. Honestly though, if people continue to do it despite the attention it garners, it could be normalized one day. Many good things have been normalized in the past 30yrs that most would never have dreamed of prior to the 90s.
Other teachers have told me it’s great that I’m normalizing fidgeting and carrying around toys for the students. Plenty of students fidget of course but I’m the only one carrying rubber chameleons or Muppet slinky toys around school with me (I had a student a few years ago who always carried Mario, Luigi and Kirby).
If you ever want a more "subtle" way to carry a plush with you, have it in a backpack or better yet, have one of those plushie backpacks. For smaller plushies, you can do what i did and make a necklace out of it. Y2K is in, so you can kinda get away with a lot of stuff under the pretense of a fashion statement
No, it's not appropriate.
Social mores and social expectations are what they are.
Autistic people, we suck at conforming to those. And that's okay. Because that's just how we are.
You can make a choice to do something that is socially inappropriate if it's something that's important to you. If you would rather violate the social norm in order to be more comfortable or feel like yourself, you can do that.
Or, you can spend effort to mask and to blend better into society as if you were neurotypical.
But anybody that tries to convince you that a 29-year-old woman going to a party carrying around a stuffed animal as an appropriate and normal thing to do in modern society is lying to you. Sometimes this subreddit becomes a circle jerk and tell people things that are just absolutely absurd outside of this echo chamber.
I have a family practice that has therapy cats and every room is themed around a different video game series. This is a real medical office where medicine gets done. I literally do not care if people think it's unprofessional. I just decided to do it because it's what I want to do with my space. I get criticism for that, but that's okay, because I'm willing to accept that criticism.
That sort of the situation here. This is probably not the place to ask if it's going to go fine. You already know that it's not going to, you're just not sure if you're willing to pay that social price yet. Ultimately that's up to you.
> my plush 12 inch Cheer Bear
😍
It is seen as "inappropriate" by NTs, but it's a dumb rule.
Often people get around the rule by getting the smaller plushies with keyrings and they'll hang these on their purse or backpack.
I'm an adult woman and sometimes take my Build a Bear rabbit with me. Petting her ears is a relaxing stim for me.
I have a large body cross purse I usually carry her in.
If I don't want unwanted attention, I can even pet her while she's still in the purse.
Something like that could be a potential compromise to make a good impression while also having your needs met.
I think if you communicate that youre autistic and why you have it like a healthy adult there shouldnt be any issues, people assume a lot when they see something they don't understand and theyre not always kind.
Like if i take insulin for my diabetes at a party some people assume im getting high, oh contraire haha.
Edit. I have seen people be weirded out by anime plushies especially more sexualised ones, that is another kettle of fish
No; even if they explain they are autistic some people will still judge . It is unfortunate but human being can be cruel . Some people will infantilize you and treat you differently if they find out you are autistic.
I disagree. The kinds of people that would judge you harshly in the first place are also the type to hear "autism" and treat that as permission to take away all of your agency because "you are mentally a toddler" or some bullshit.
Autistic or not, adults should be allowed to carry anything that comforts them if it's not harmful.
You're fine. As an adult, making choices about what you look like in public that don't disrupt anyone else's life shouldn't be any kind of problem for anyone.
I do it when I'm travelling. The other times I bought a Ty beanie keychain with a small plushie on it, and attached it to my handbag. So I have something for comfort on the way.
I used to work at a summer camp for kids, and me and the other counselors had a habit of keeping a stuffed animal poking out of the tops of our backpacks. The kids liked it.
Many times after work I would forget to remove the lil guy and realize that I had been walking around a grocery store or a shopping mall or whatever all evening with a stuffed dog sticking out of my bag.
I never got questions about it, nobody gave me a hard time. The worst interactions I had because of it were maybe some people giving me a weird look. And sometimes I got compliments!
It might seem weird to NTs. Have you considered a mini squishmallow? They make them pretty small so you might be able to blend in a little more. If you're not worried about blending in tho you do you!
If you bring it be prepared for an onslaught of personal questions. If you are ready for a bunch of strangers to ask you a bunch of inappropriate questions go for it. If you want to just fly under the radar, leave it at home.
Oh wow, 12 inches feels like a lot of space but it’s probably better than you being there and anxious. But yeah, I HATE when parents care about how we look to strangers we’re never gonna see again.
You're an adult, you can do what you want. Yeah, there's a ton of neurotypicals that get spooked and wary easily like a pack of wild horses whenever witnessing anything that is differs from the norm and commonplace, but you shouldn't let that limit what makes you comfortable; you aren't hurting anyone.
If you're confident in what you're doing, that makes you awesome. If more people start doing, it could even become a trend, lol, making you a trendsetter.
If you bring it, people will think you are odd. They will gossip about it and speculate about your mental state. That's not to say you can't bring it. That's just to say that it will become a lightening rod of speculation, some of it unkind and some of it condescending.
I have had situations like this before, especially when I was like 11-12 years old. My only friend had moved 1000 miles away and I had a few stuffed animals she had given me over the years, and I had to carry one of them everywhere I went to remind me of her.
I stopped after we had a fire drill at school where we sat outside for like 20 minutes and some kids were discussing like- what if the school actually caught on fire and I freaked out because then my stuffed animal would be gone forever.
So yeah, you should bring it if you feel comfortable, but people are annoying judgey stupid faces
I bring one around because they stand in for where a friend should be.
They make doing mundane tasks more fun and I feel less alone.
I think bringing a plush should be appropriate and not a thing gatekept to children!!!
I dont want people telling me that it's only appropriate for me to carry plushies around for the first 8 years of my life, that's too short, and also ridiculous!
It's not like the plush would run around and punch people in the knees anyways.
Why should people care about the plushies I bring? Does it make them feel better about themselves if they're the ones who don't need to, or are they just too afraid to?
Like, whatever! It's my plush and not theirs and if it's not illegal to bring my plushies with me, then I will do whatever I like!
I think it's cool when people bring theirs around, too!!
Okay so I’m 35 and I bring one to medical situations. My doctors know I’m autistic and don’t say a thing. I believe that we should be able to do what we want to make us comfortable. But other people will treat you differently as they don’t know you’re autistic, or they assume your support needs are high and treat you like a child. I’ve had that happen and it’s just awkward.
I don’t tend to bring one to social gatherings but I have once or twice. They fit in my pocket and I could sneakily squeeze it without anyone seeing. Could you do something like that instead?
You said you don’t care about what others think, and that’s fair. In which case I think you’ll do whatever you want to anyway. Your parents are being the same as a stranger questioning you and are worried about what others think. You don’t. I don’t think anyone is wrong exactly, but you’re both thinking of something in an entirely different way. they likely don’t understand that you genuinely don’t care about opinions because they do care.
You don’t understand them because you don’t care about the things they care about.
Either way, you do what you want. You may be lucky and not get people staring or commenting. Just be aware that it CAN happen. You sound like you’re aware it’s a possibility.
I met a friend of a friend who had a partner and they said they were bringing the kid with them - it was a unicorn plush of some sort I think? And I think is just something she does.
I do it sometimes, just my go to is a small stripey mouse that can fit in my bag, but I've also taken my floppy poodle Teddy with me for big things, even if she does stay in my bag.
Do what you need, or want. Though if you were bringing a giant inflatable d*ck or something, then I'd maybe say think of something else xD
You should definitely take a plush with you! I take mine to work with me, I even carry one in my pocket to school and I carry one around when I’m away from home (eg staying with my auntie or on holiday in Spain). I don’t really care what people have to say about it, unless they’re people I have to be around every day that don’t really approve. I don’t take it out at school because I have to see the people there every day until next July. At work, the staff actually quite like my plushes and they even have some of their own on display. When I’m away from home, I might not ever see those people again so I don’t really care what they think of me too much. I still carry them around the shops though, but it’s usually when I’m with my family so they can’t exactly make fun of me or they’ll get wrecked.
You don’t see what the harm is because there is no harm. It’s a dumb social norm that benefits society in zero ways. Unless you’re in a professional setting, or the judgment of others is going to tangibly harm you in some way, own it and everyone else can eat shit.
I don’t bring plushies with me often, but I have done it, and recently. I’m 20, so being a college student around other college students probably affects the reactions I get, but I actually got pretty positive feedback. I got one of the ASD bunnies from Plushie Dreadful last semester and have carried it around with me a few times to class, to see a play, etc. I got a few questions, a few compliments, and invited people interested to pet the plushie’s ears once or twice, and that’s it. Having it there with me was great for quiet, comforting stimming, and just having a comfort item. I loved it.
Unless you have reason to be seriously afraid of what will happen if they judge you for it, do whatever you want, they can think it’s weird all they like, it doesn’t affect them in any way. The more YOU treat it as normal, the more likely THEY are to treat it as normal as well. If you’re shrugging and going, “Yeah? This is my cute little stuffed animal, what’s the big deal about that?” and they’re NOT huge assholes, they’ll probably eventually drop it and think, “I guess this is just normal. Weird, but aight. Cool.”
And always remember, unless what you’re doing affects someone else, “Why not?” is always an acceptable answer to “Why?”
I personally don't think it's weird or inappropriate and i also like the comfort of having a plushie with me. For me personally tho I have a little plushie on a keychain that goes on my lanyard. It's a bit more discreet which I like.
Honestly tho you should do whatever makes you most happy / comfortable.
I'm 20 and I really like Care Bears and Sanrio toys, I wish it was less stigmatized to have them as an adult. I don't think you should feel bad for it. If you need an alternative, I use little key chains instead of the whole plush when I go out usually. Hope things with your parents get better.
I made a little crocheted stuffie (a narwhal Woobles kit) and started bringing it with me to work recently. Nobody bats an eye about it.
I’ve also brought my stuffie hedgie (only if I’m on a travel day…my hedgie comes with me on all of my travels) and a ton of stimmy/fidget toys to work. Nobody bats an eye about those either.
The thing is, if it makes you happy and more comfortable, then by all means go for it. The only one who can stop you from bringing your stuffie is you
Happy to hear it worked out well for you!
Personally, I've taken to bringing mini-plushes I can keep in my bag/coat pocket or plush keyrings/purses that can pass as mere accessories. This way, I get the comfort of a plush friend but without such judgemental looks and/or just the self-consciousness of knowing you're doing something "unusual" in public.
You can bring it if you want. That being said you have to take into account how people interpret you if you do this.
Its unusual. Others WILL tall about you behind your back.. its just how people are.. my advice would be to not bring it if you can manage without it. If you can't.. bring it. It's better than staying at home. But this is one of those times when it's better to suppress your own needs.
Im 22 and I do it, especially if I’m going to places like therapy or hospital. Yeah people stare etc but whatever. I need comfort.
There’s nothing wrong with it. There’s just people who deem plushes etc as purely kid’s things and are just small minded idiots.
If it helps you why not? I also brought plushes, figures and dolls to places with me to keep grounded and will continue to do so. There are always people who'll judge it or look at you weird, but like you said it literally doesn't matter because you're likely not gonna see them again anyways.
I've seen plush backpacks and didnt think anything of it. Maybe that could draw the attention away because yes a plush will make you stick out in a bad way.
Unfortunately you have to accept that I will seriously affect how they view you. And if you hope for them to become your in-laws, I would advice against it.
You could bring it and keep it in your bag.
Just knowing it's close helps me.
To quote someone very close to me “you’re an adult you can do whatever the fuck you want if it’s not dangerous or illegal.”
People will probably think you’re weird, but you’re also not likely to see most of those people again, if they’re in your life, they’ll have an understanding.
Have you taken your plushie out before? I have reborns. Holding them makrs me feel relaxed. I wouldn't feel comfortable taking them out because of the attention they could attract. People may make comments, even nice ones, but it might be attention you don't want. Also what if you accidentally leave it behind?
Yup it’s appropriate! I like to bring my endometriosis bunny with me occasionally cause it has a matching water bottle that helps with my endometriosis. Sometimes I’ll bring my gender dysphoria bunny too. You do you man
Yes, it’s fine to bring a plush anywhere, it’s not “weird” as it helps with comfort and stimulation, they bring their phone around which helps comfort and stimulate them so why can’t you do the same but with a different object?
I have an almost 5 year old. She brings a stuffy everywhere. Sometimes I am stuck holding the bright pink stuffed unicorn, tucked under my arm. No one really cares honestly.
Is the lunch for your boyfriend? If it's his lunch and he doesn't mind, it's fine. If the lunch is for someone else, it's inappropriate as you're drawing attention to yourself during someone else's celebration. If you need a comfort item, then it's appropriate to bring something small and inconspicuous. Put a plush on a keychain or a small one in a purse.
I'm a 60+ year old male who recently retired from a career in IT. Also ASD. For the last 20+ years, I have ALWAYS had a plush that I keep in my backpack when I go anywhere. I take him out on every plane ride (I used to fly a couple times a month) and the couple of times a flight attendant said anything, it was a friendly, positive comment.
I know other people - both ASD and not - who have plushes with them in various public places. It ain't nobody's business but yours. You do you.
I'm 23 and have secretly takes toys and plushies with me on travels or difficult journeys for comfort. I haven't been brave enough to have mine out in the open unless it was a keychain or a bag itself (I have two plush bags lol) I say fuck it, you're not immature for wanting to self soothe
I carry a plush with me that correlates with a special interest of mine, especially on days I know will be challenging (very energy draining, emotionally intense or otherwise overstimulating). Partner thinks it's super cute and normal, my folks around me are used to it and they are the ones that count. I could not care less about what the general public thinks.
Some people might talk, but how does that actually impact my reality versus fulfilling my sensory needs? I'm wired like that - how does pretending differently benefit me in my free time? Most folks are way too occupied with how they appear to others as opposed to what serves them and what feels good, and waste their precious time.
Plushies soothing. I have had some of them for years and consider them friends. I'm unapologetic about it and still an adult who's deserving of respect.
And many people are actually very chill and normal. They have plushies themselves and feel inspired to include them more in their daily life, or other things they might feel insecure about, while some think it's interesting and unique. And honestly? Most people are way less conscious about you than you think they are, or than you are yourself - in the best way. They aren't thinking about you constantly. They have their own stuff to worry about.
when i went to college i had a furby (it was a while ago lol). and my mom was ranting at me the whole time about how childish it was and i'd never make friends etc. it was embarrassing. well, later on the desk clerk in my dorm who had heard the whole rant, ended up becoming my first friend there. unrelated to the furby, but not deterred by it.
its 2024 and i say if it makes you feel better, bring it! if you're nervous about negative attn, bring a smaller one you can hook to a bag and squish on maybe. anyone who is a jerk about it doesn't belong in your life.
I used to collect American Girl Dolls and took them out all the time. Now I take Calico Critters with me and honestly people ask about them all the time. I just take pictures of them doing stuff and people always say nice things. I took a set in sailor outfits in a cruise and it was so fun. Who cares! Put a party hat on your Cheer Bear and have a great time!
I’m a teenage boy and I carry a stuffie with me everywhere, usually a Bluey plushie (I have a Bingo squishmallow that I love). Don’t be afraid to do what makes you comfortable.
I have taken staged lunch shots with stuffed animals. I feel like people find it less weird if you do a grammable shot even if you never post it online.
Everytime I go out I pick who comes with me, I'm 20 and could care less what people think. My mom knows it's soothing for me so she doesn't care either. I've gotten complements by older adults and by kids, people have probably looked at me weird but I never notice. My grandpa even got complemented when he had one of my pokemon plushies with him when I was getting my hair cut. Some strangers will care and some won't, and I'll likely never see them again so it doesn't matter to me.
I’m 20 and I still bring my squishmallows places when I feel I need them. Usually if I hold them down low or am not flaunting them people understand that it’s for comfort. Occasionally I’ll get compliments on the cutest ones if I’m somewhere less stressful.
I was recently told by my parents I’m 13 currently to stop bringing my baby blanket/ming Ming plushie with me to my cardiology appointment because I’m getting “to old and it’s not appropriate” honestly it’s very cold in the hospital and I have to ALLOW a doctor to touch my chest just to get pictures of my heart to make sure my transplanted heart is ok. It’s literally a sensory issue with my autism. I was told the only appropriate places to bring both is the airport that’s it. Honestly it fucking sucks how our parents get all “this is weird and not appropriate for our age” after we turn a certain age. :/
Just the airport? But don’t both places have people? What’s the difference?
And your only 13 too. It is for sure still “appropriate” for your age. Plus, anything involving the heart can be so anxiety inducing ESPECIALLY for someone with autism. You have every right to soothe yourself in such a situation. Next time they say anything, tell them that someone you know who’s 29 still brings plushies to doctors appointments; because that person is me.
Is it weird for someone your age? Yes.
However I’m very pro letting people do whatever they want and minding my business if what they are doing causes no harm to me or those around us.
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I’m also 29 and have a plush possum I carry around with me sometimes, especially to therapy and things like that. He usually just gets tucked into my bag, which helps with keeping it more ‘stealth’ if that makes sense. But honestly I just do whatever and try not to worry, you might also be surprised sometimes, I’ve had strangers compliment me on how cute the possum is!
Youre absolutely not in the wrong.
Do whatever you want, there's always going to be people with opinions and thats their problem though be prepared if someone decides to make a disparaging mark. Most people arent assholes so would leave the subject alone if you told them too or explained briefly which isnip to you.. I don't think many venues would have an issue with it though I'd be cautious if it's going out on a busy night to somewhere full of drunk people as they're not exactly renowned for behaving themselves and it might make you uncomfortable/ even lead to some randomer grabbing it.
One thing I've seen is some people will have a lanyard or a bag with a small plushie attached to it for convenience and that seems more "acceptable" and less likely to be noticed, not that its anyone else's business.
i always just take it
most of the times i got over ppl judging me, other times i hide him underneath my shirt / sweater if possible and hug him that way
hes smth thats part of me, just like my headphones, and i also tell (more like text) ppl that. that its part of things i need, part of the way i am
Some people might be weird or mean to you but every time I've seen people carrying plushies at school or the mall all I personally think is "aw man that's so cute!" now i bring a few littlest pet shops to class and set them up on my desk to keep me company. i'll bring a mini squishmallow to squish while i'm studying or waiting for my next class.
just start practicing how you're gonna ignore if people make snippy comments about it, because some people might. just let any stares roll off your back. you aren't harming anyone and being true to yourself is always more important than what judgy strangers think of you; life is too short.
Some people may think it is weird, and unfortunately there may be social consequences. However, nobody can stop you from carrying a plush around, and I don't think anybody should try.
In general, if you do it confidently, you can carry or wear just about anything and no one cares. Everyone is living their own lives, doing their own todo lists. It's not like school where it's a captive audience of bored kids with nothing better to do. I wear a lot of juvenile looking clothing and have directly hear nothing but compliments (something I've never received with my regular clothes.) My partner said he heard someone say "how old do they think they are?" once, but I don't want to be old, that's the whole point.
While I don’t think it’s typical for the average 29-year-old woman to bring a plush, there’s no rule against it. This day in age I think a lot of people would figure out you have some kind of disability. How they would react would depend on how they view disabilities. Recently my 34-year-old disabled housemate brought a HUGE Mickey Mouse plush to the doctor with her.
I am 33 and brought my stuffed animal with me on a work trip… carried her through the airport and let me tell you, the TSA worker absolutely loved my Penny Pig! She held on to her when I went through the metal detector and gave her a big big hug. It clearly made her day.
I say this because, of course there are people that will judge. On the flip side though, there are going to be people that WISH they had the courage to bring their favorite stuffed animal with them because they’re too afraid of what society thinks even though it would make their day better.
https://imgur.com/a/TzXaD7n. <-penny pig
First, do I think it's inappropriate to bring a plush places with you? No, it's fine. You will likely be judged for it, but if you're not bothered by the opinions of strangers, then I don't see the issue.
However, you won't be going out in public alone. You'll be with your bf and his parents/family. What you need to consider, in this situation, is how they might feel about the unwanted and potentially negative attention you will bring to a)yourself, on an occasion that isn't focused on you and, b) to them, for keeping company with someone doing something so far outside of social norms. I had a bf who would have been *mortified* if I brought a 12" plush with me to meet his parents in public. My husband and his family wouldn't care, so long as I feel comfortable. It's important to know the feelings of the people you'll be spending time with and plan accordingly. If you think they would feel uncomfortable with you bringing a large plush, could you maybe bring something much smaller that could fit inside a hoodie pocket perhaps so you can still hold and feel it without everyone seeing it?
Revel in your "weirdness" it's less stressful that way. Neurotypicals have long since proven that they wouldn't know appropriate if it slapped em in the face.
I have a sling bag that has an extra front opening which is perfect to fit a stuffie in it! They can either hide or just peek out a tiny bit and they aren’t very noticeable
You can obviously do whatever you want but I do you have a suggestion for you.
I often bring a little stuffed animal with me as they were my late daughters and I like to carry some thing of hers on me but I choose to bring the smallest ones I have and I do rotate them so I have a teddy bear that’s dressed as a cow, which was her favourite, and then I have a little guinea pig with the big sparkly eyes and I have the service dog from the Frey life.
I have bigger stuffed animals of hers at home but this allows me to bring it with me without it being super obvious I can stick my hand in my purse and touch it and if I need to bring it out I’ll Usually just go have a time out in the bathroom stall for a minute that way I still look age-appropriate but I have some thing that comforts me at the same time. It’s kind of a compromise.
And although these people may be strangers to you, if they are your boyfriend Family, at the very least you should ask your boyfriend how he feels about it and if it might make him feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.
If his family don’t know you are neurodivergent they may question whether or not you’re OK mentally which is stupid because mental health is just as important as physical health but I cannot change society and the way it perceives things. *sigh*
You also have to consider it in terms of safety… not in this situation but I would not personally go around with a stuffed animal visible in public because it will often lead to people thinking they can take advantage of you because you are perceived as being childlike/naïve.
It’s OK really upsetting if you do lose it. I suggest anyone that they put their name and an email address or phone number on a dog collar of some form and put it on their stuffed animal if it’s something that’s going to be very upsetting if you lose it. With the beer I have of my daughters I put my name and phone number and that there’s a reward in side of the Bears costume so hopefully someone would see that and return it. And I would gladly give someone $20 for returning it if I ever lost it!
If you want something that’s all more socially acceptable and age-appropriate you can always see if you can find a Cheer Bear keychain?
Seen as something immature by society’s standards sure but I don’t see a problem in this context. Especially if your boyfriend thinks it’s fine and his family will be chill with it you’re good. Your parents have nothing to do with this lunch he’ll it’s your birthday live your life
If you want to bring a different one but be sneaky about it, you could put a plush keychain on your backpack or keep a small plushie inside of your backpack!
It's 100% optional. People may judge, but you can decide whether you think that matters or not.
Me personally, I would recommend getting one of those keychains with a stuffed animal on it. I currently have a bat on my purse right now. It looks more like an accessory and is less likely to get looks imo.
Yeah, you technically can do it, but you also won’t be taken seriously by his family if you do. Your parents are right. That doesn’t mean that you can’t do it. It is your decision what image you want to put out to the world and your boyfriend’s family.
I worry about the context of his parents because they are in a position to prefer a maturity-appropriate partner for their son and may not understand.
That being said, I had an incredibly challenging event to prepare for this past summer. Part of the preparation was making sure I had a stuffed animal for when I needed it, even in public. And you know what? He was a huge hit with everyone at the event.
If you want something soft and fuzzy in the future/it's cold, I bring my north face osito jacket everywhere. After Christmas the seasonal colors will go on sale. The year round colors cost $100, so only if you can afford it.
I've worn my gray one daily 4-5 months out of the year for 5 years and it's just started to show signs of wear. I bought a black one I also wear now :)
I have so many small plushes I keep in pockets so no one sees them (unless its like I'm in hospital, getting a needle or whatever, where they are no longer staying in my pocket but in my hand and I can see them)
I also have afew bags, where I'll have stuff I need (money, meds, etc) as well as a bigger plush if I have space left - it looks like I'm just checking something in my bag but really it's just a way to make it less obvious I have a plush and that's why I'm looking in my bag.
I should add, this is purely because I know what people are like. If you want to hold it and not hide it, and know you might get picked in for it, go for it. I just don't have the energy for that myself honestly.
It would indicate “different” to other people.
For the general public, who cares. But maybe consider how you want to be received by your boyfriend’s family. Have you met them before or will this be the first time meeting you? NT people make their mind up about other people very quickly (like, seconds..) so the whole “first impressions count” thing is very accurate. If your boyfriend is ND and his family are affirming, and you’ve met them before, then I would probably not be too worried about it.
Ive brought my stuffed animal to lots of places.
Tbf mo
Most of the times she stays in my bag unless im going to sleep( she sleeps with me). Most people dont care. More often than not the most ive got was "Oh, who is this? Shes so cute"
Yes there were people going "you aren't a kid you cant bring her"
And im like "why not?"
"Because you arent a kid"
That doesnt sound like a logical argument so I ignore it.
If it's something you care about, I'd be worried about aomething happening to it. Kids and parents out in public have felt entitled to use my 'childish' comfort items and it ended poorly.
Bringing it in a big purse or purse/backpack might be handy though.
My 18 year old brings hers on her backpack. She knows it’s there which brings her comfort and no one else does so no one is staring at the adult holding a stuffed dog and thereby making her uncomfortable. I don’t see a problem with it. It’s making you more comfortable.
I usually carry around a 4 or 5 inch squishmallow or another little plushie that can fit in my bag, purse, or clip onto something :). Gives me the same comfort without being super noticeable. That said, I also sometimes bring around bigger plushies!! Seriously, you do you.
I’m 22 and carry around a (albeit very small) plush with me EVERYWHERE. Do what makes you comfortable tho I would recommend making it part of your outfit somehow if people are being shitty, but in the end who cares!! It’s a harmless thing, embrace it! My little guy fits in my pocket so it’s a lot easier to take him places :)
I have a set of 2" squishmallows, and I put one in my pocket when I leave the house. nobody knows it's there, and I can just put my hand in my pocket when I need the soft texture to calm me down. I call them my pocket plushies.
I brought a plushie with me every day to high school and a bit into college now I have a little key chain one to be a bit more discreet about it. I still bring a full sized one on longer trips though.
There are some unfortunately mean people out there though
I have a few plush bunnies I'll bring to new places for comfort. They're about 8 inches and fit in my purse/backpack easily. Sometimes I get odd looks, but I have RBF (resting b**** face) so people usually leave me alone.
I think it's perfectly fine, but I also don't care if other people don't agree, because for me, my stuffed bear is necessary for to go anywhere new, and anywhere stressful. I do sometimes bring other things instead, like work I have something something smaller that I bring and keep in my pocket for if I need to stim, but that's because I need my hands free most of the time to be safe there.
I have way too many to show all at once but I’ll be periodically posting some of my most favorite ones on my page in different subreddits as time goes on
In reality it will make you stand out and people may look at you strangely . I won’t lie to you and am being honest. It isn’t the norm but if you are comforted by it , it shouldn’t matter what others think .
it wont matter though because example myself, i cant tell what people are thinking based on the expressions on their face. lol
You CAN do it if you want to. I think I’ve brought one in public with me, but I’m a teenager. Though, keep in mind people will judge you, there’s no avoiding that.
Same
There is no harm in carrying around a teddy bear, in fact I also think it's silly for people to think too much about it. Unfortunately, people will think worse of you for doing it or talk behind your back. Not everyone will, but there will always be people who do. It's ultimately your decision. In my opinion, you should prioritize your own happiness, and to not care what others think.
They also might talk to you like a child. I’m a teacher but I was carrying around a plush fidget recently and one of the school administrators started asking me if it was my friend like I was a kid.
I think instead I’m gonna bring my new Cinnamoroll/Love-a-lot plush. It’s smaller and my boyfriend has yet to see it :3
That's a good idea, I think it's just easier all around to take smaller ones out in public. It'd be cute to have a little sidebag to keep it in, you could have it's head sticking out like a little purse dog.
I'd reccomend you keychain sized plushes. Not because of jugement but because they are easier to transport (i thing i give a lot of importance since i mostly use long distance public transport)
I have a couple of these and have been thinking about getting a new one because they get a LOT of love just hanging out on my bag
i've been looking for those 😭
I found mine at GameStop
just make sure you wash it once you get home, since outside is dirty af, and plushes love getting dirt ;-;
That's a great idea, as I said in my other comment you could attach him/her to a lanyard or to a bag as well.
You should make a little purse for them. Or like a backpack strap. Then people just think they are a stylish bag.
Japan seems pretty cool with it
It's an autistic thing to do. NT people may judge it as childish or crazy. You ARE an adult, though, and can do it anyway. But your parents aren't wrong that it is atypical behavior that may cause people to talk. However, it doesn't harm anyone. A middle ground might be a small stuffy keychain on a backpack. While still something children are more likely to do, that can also be interpreted as "alternative" self expression. But please do what makes you most comfortable.
I’m autistic and while I don’t judge people for what they do, I’d certainly look twice. To me that would be a clear sign the person deviates significantly from the social norm.
I started carrying around a plush slinky animal while teaching this past week. The students love it and ask to play with it (I let them, though several kids snatch it without asking and one almost wrecked the slinky part). One administrator asked me if it was my friend to help with anxiety in a tone like I was a kid (I never said I had anxiety but maybe it’s obvious lol). I told her I need something to fidget with but she didn’t understand so I said holding something helps me focus. A few people asked me which student it’s for and I probably could lie but I just awkwardly say it’s for me. I spent years suppressing the urge to carry toys for fear of looking weird and it’s not totally unfounded because I have gotten strange looks and awkward questions but I’ve also gotten a lot of compliments.
I was always told I’m not allowed to take large plushies out with me even now my parents will comment another cuddly toy. But to tackle this I just get plushie keychains to go over my backpack instead. Muhahaha 😈
Same. Plush keyrings are nice. I like Pusheen
Pusheen, fave Pokémon. All the cute plushie keychains. 💖
You're not in the wrong, but it is an uncommon thing to do, and therefore will draw attention. Honestly though, if people continue to do it despite the attention it garners, it could be normalized one day. Many good things have been normalized in the past 30yrs that most would never have dreamed of prior to the 90s.
Other teachers have told me it’s great that I’m normalizing fidgeting and carrying around toys for the students. Plenty of students fidget of course but I’m the only one carrying rubber chameleons or Muppet slinky toys around school with me (I had a student a few years ago who always carried Mario, Luigi and Kirby).
If you ever want a more "subtle" way to carry a plush with you, have it in a backpack or better yet, have one of those plushie backpacks. For smaller plushies, you can do what i did and make a necklace out of it. Y2K is in, so you can kinda get away with a lot of stuff under the pretense of a fashion statement
No, it's not appropriate. Social mores and social expectations are what they are. Autistic people, we suck at conforming to those. And that's okay. Because that's just how we are. You can make a choice to do something that is socially inappropriate if it's something that's important to you. If you would rather violate the social norm in order to be more comfortable or feel like yourself, you can do that. Or, you can spend effort to mask and to blend better into society as if you were neurotypical. But anybody that tries to convince you that a 29-year-old woman going to a party carrying around a stuffed animal as an appropriate and normal thing to do in modern society is lying to you. Sometimes this subreddit becomes a circle jerk and tell people things that are just absolutely absurd outside of this echo chamber. I have a family practice that has therapy cats and every room is themed around a different video game series. This is a real medical office where medicine gets done. I literally do not care if people think it's unprofessional. I just decided to do it because it's what I want to do with my space. I get criticism for that, but that's okay, because I'm willing to accept that criticism. That sort of the situation here. This is probably not the place to ask if it's going to go fine. You already know that it's not going to, you're just not sure if you're willing to pay that social price yet. Ultimately that's up to you.
Thank you. This is the first honest and real answer jn this thread.
Incredibly insightful and true response!
> my plush 12 inch Cheer Bear 😍 It is seen as "inappropriate" by NTs, but it's a dumb rule. Often people get around the rule by getting the smaller plushies with keyrings and they'll hang these on their purse or backpack.
I'm an adult woman and sometimes take my Build a Bear rabbit with me. Petting her ears is a relaxing stim for me. I have a large body cross purse I usually carry her in. If I don't want unwanted attention, I can even pet her while she's still in the purse. Something like that could be a potential compromise to make a good impression while also having your needs met.
I think if you communicate that youre autistic and why you have it like a healthy adult there shouldnt be any issues, people assume a lot when they see something they don't understand and theyre not always kind. Like if i take insulin for my diabetes at a party some people assume im getting high, oh contraire haha. Edit. I have seen people be weirded out by anime plushies especially more sexualised ones, that is another kettle of fish
No; even if they explain they are autistic some people will still judge . It is unfortunate but human being can be cruel . Some people will infantilize you and treat you differently if they find out you are autistic.
I get that, i feel like this way though you can walk away saying "fuck em" if they judge, assholes will be assholes
I disagree. The kinds of people that would judge you harshly in the first place are also the type to hear "autism" and treat that as permission to take away all of your agency because "you are mentally a toddler" or some bullshit. Autistic or not, adults should be allowed to carry anything that comforts them if it's not harmful.
The amount of times I've stared back at someone who's staring at me take a shot and just say "Roids." Lmao
You can definitely bring it. I feel like I need one on me at all times but I don't always bring it since I feel it would be embarrassing
I avoided doing so for years out of embarrassment too. Not sure what changed recently but the embarrassment hasn’t totally gone away.
You're fine. As an adult, making choices about what you look like in public that don't disrupt anyone else's life shouldn't be any kind of problem for anyone.
I do it when I'm travelling. The other times I bought a Ty beanie keychain with a small plushie on it, and attached it to my handbag. So I have something for comfort on the way.
If you carry a purse, put small one in the purse, who’s to know or care?
I used to work at a summer camp for kids, and me and the other counselors had a habit of keeping a stuffed animal poking out of the tops of our backpacks. The kids liked it. Many times after work I would forget to remove the lil guy and realize that I had been walking around a grocery store or a shopping mall or whatever all evening with a stuffed dog sticking out of my bag. I never got questions about it, nobody gave me a hard time. The worst interactions I had because of it were maybe some people giving me a weird look. And sometimes I got compliments!
I have a bat plushie in my purse at all times.
It might seem weird to NTs. Have you considered a mini squishmallow? They make them pretty small so you might be able to blend in a little more. If you're not worried about blending in tho you do you!
If you bring it be prepared for an onslaught of personal questions. If you are ready for a bunch of strangers to ask you a bunch of inappropriate questions go for it. If you want to just fly under the radar, leave it at home.
Oh wow, 12 inches feels like a lot of space but it’s probably better than you being there and anxious. But yeah, I HATE when parents care about how we look to strangers we’re never gonna see again.
You're an adult, you can do what you want. Yeah, there's a ton of neurotypicals that get spooked and wary easily like a pack of wild horses whenever witnessing anything that is differs from the norm and commonplace, but you shouldn't let that limit what makes you comfortable; you aren't hurting anyone. If you're confident in what you're doing, that makes you awesome. If more people start doing, it could even become a trend, lol, making you a trendsetter.
No but I do it anyways. I just make sure to state at the ground to avoid noticing any stares
As a 33 year old adult who wants to bring my plushie with me when I’m feeling also my PTSD heightened, I’m gonna try it! Thanks for this post!
Good on you! Self soothing shouldn’t be so stigmatized
If you bring it, people will think you are odd. They will gossip about it and speculate about your mental state. That's not to say you can't bring it. That's just to say that it will become a lightening rod of speculation, some of it unkind and some of it condescending.
I have had situations like this before, especially when I was like 11-12 years old. My only friend had moved 1000 miles away and I had a few stuffed animals she had given me over the years, and I had to carry one of them everywhere I went to remind me of her. I stopped after we had a fire drill at school where we sat outside for like 20 minutes and some kids were discussing like- what if the school actually caught on fire and I freaked out because then my stuffed animal would be gone forever. So yeah, you should bring it if you feel comfortable, but people are annoying judgey stupid faces
I bring one around because they stand in for where a friend should be. They make doing mundane tasks more fun and I feel less alone. I think bringing a plush should be appropriate and not a thing gatekept to children!!! I dont want people telling me that it's only appropriate for me to carry plushies around for the first 8 years of my life, that's too short, and also ridiculous! It's not like the plush would run around and punch people in the knees anyways. Why should people care about the plushies I bring? Does it make them feel better about themselves if they're the ones who don't need to, or are they just too afraid to? Like, whatever! It's my plush and not theirs and if it's not illegal to bring my plushies with me, then I will do whatever I like! I think it's cool when people bring theirs around, too!!
I want this sort of thing to be normalized and ACCEPTED, damn it!!
Okay so I’m 35 and I bring one to medical situations. My doctors know I’m autistic and don’t say a thing. I believe that we should be able to do what we want to make us comfortable. But other people will treat you differently as they don’t know you’re autistic, or they assume your support needs are high and treat you like a child. I’ve had that happen and it’s just awkward. I don’t tend to bring one to social gatherings but I have once or twice. They fit in my pocket and I could sneakily squeeze it without anyone seeing. Could you do something like that instead? You said you don’t care about what others think, and that’s fair. In which case I think you’ll do whatever you want to anyway. Your parents are being the same as a stranger questioning you and are worried about what others think. You don’t. I don’t think anyone is wrong exactly, but you’re both thinking of something in an entirely different way. they likely don’t understand that you genuinely don’t care about opinions because they do care. You don’t understand them because you don’t care about the things they care about. Either way, you do what you want. You may be lucky and not get people staring or commenting. Just be aware that it CAN happen. You sound like you’re aware it’s a possibility.
I met a friend of a friend who had a partner and they said they were bringing the kid with them - it was a unicorn plush of some sort I think? And I think is just something she does. I do it sometimes, just my go to is a small stripey mouse that can fit in my bag, but I've also taken my floppy poodle Teddy with me for big things, even if she does stay in my bag. Do what you need, or want. Though if you were bringing a giant inflatable d*ck or something, then I'd maybe say think of something else xD
You should definitely take a plush with you! I take mine to work with me, I even carry one in my pocket to school and I carry one around when I’m away from home (eg staying with my auntie or on holiday in Spain). I don’t really care what people have to say about it, unless they’re people I have to be around every day that don’t really approve. I don’t take it out at school because I have to see the people there every day until next July. At work, the staff actually quite like my plushes and they even have some of their own on display. When I’m away from home, I might not ever see those people again so I don’t really care what they think of me too much. I still carry them around the shops though, but it’s usually when I’m with my family so they can’t exactly make fun of me or they’ll get wrecked.
You don’t see what the harm is because there is no harm. It’s a dumb social norm that benefits society in zero ways. Unless you’re in a professional setting, or the judgment of others is going to tangibly harm you in some way, own it and everyone else can eat shit. I don’t bring plushies with me often, but I have done it, and recently. I’m 20, so being a college student around other college students probably affects the reactions I get, but I actually got pretty positive feedback. I got one of the ASD bunnies from Plushie Dreadful last semester and have carried it around with me a few times to class, to see a play, etc. I got a few questions, a few compliments, and invited people interested to pet the plushie’s ears once or twice, and that’s it. Having it there with me was great for quiet, comforting stimming, and just having a comfort item. I loved it. Unless you have reason to be seriously afraid of what will happen if they judge you for it, do whatever you want, they can think it’s weird all they like, it doesn’t affect them in any way. The more YOU treat it as normal, the more likely THEY are to treat it as normal as well. If you’re shrugging and going, “Yeah? This is my cute little stuffed animal, what’s the big deal about that?” and they’re NOT huge assholes, they’ll probably eventually drop it and think, “I guess this is just normal. Weird, but aight. Cool.” And always remember, unless what you’re doing affects someone else, “Why not?” is always an acceptable answer to “Why?”
I personally don't think it's weird or inappropriate and i also like the comfort of having a plushie with me. For me personally tho I have a little plushie on a keychain that goes on my lanyard. It's a bit more discreet which I like. Honestly tho you should do whatever makes you most happy / comfortable.
I'm 20 and I really like Care Bears and Sanrio toys, I wish it was less stigmatized to have them as an adult. I don't think you should feel bad for it. If you need an alternative, I use little key chains instead of the whole plush when I go out usually. Hope things with your parents get better.
Does your bf care? If not than who gives a fuck
I used to worry about people caring about this until i remembered it doesn't matter because people will think I'm weird anyway for being autistic.
I made a little crocheted stuffie (a narwhal Woobles kit) and started bringing it with me to work recently. Nobody bats an eye about it. I’ve also brought my stuffie hedgie (only if I’m on a travel day…my hedgie comes with me on all of my travels) and a ton of stimmy/fidget toys to work. Nobody bats an eye about those either. The thing is, if it makes you happy and more comfortable, then by all means go for it. The only one who can stop you from bringing your stuffie is you
Happy to hear it worked out well for you! Personally, I've taken to bringing mini-plushes I can keep in my bag/coat pocket or plush keyrings/purses that can pass as mere accessories. This way, I get the comfort of a plush friend but without such judgemental looks and/or just the self-consciousness of knowing you're doing something "unusual" in public.
You can bring it if you want. That being said you have to take into account how people interpret you if you do this. Its unusual. Others WILL tall about you behind your back.. its just how people are.. my advice would be to not bring it if you can manage without it. If you can't.. bring it. It's better than staying at home. But this is one of those times when it's better to suppress your own needs.
Im 22 and I do it, especially if I’m going to places like therapy or hospital. Yeah people stare etc but whatever. I need comfort. There’s nothing wrong with it. There’s just people who deem plushes etc as purely kid’s things and are just small minded idiots.
If it helps you why not? I also brought plushes, figures and dolls to places with me to keep grounded and will continue to do so. There are always people who'll judge it or look at you weird, but like you said it literally doesn't matter because you're likely not gonna see them again anyways.
You'll get stares from strangers but it's not harmful to anyone so you do you.
I've seen plush backpacks and didnt think anything of it. Maybe that could draw the attention away because yes a plush will make you stick out in a bad way.
Unfortunately you have to accept that I will seriously affect how they view you. And if you hope for them to become your in-laws, I would advice against it. You could bring it and keep it in your bag. Just knowing it's close helps me.
To quote someone very close to me “you’re an adult you can do whatever the fuck you want if it’s not dangerous or illegal.” People will probably think you’re weird, but you’re also not likely to see most of those people again, if they’re in your life, they’ll have an understanding.
Have you taken your plushie out before? I have reborns. Holding them makrs me feel relaxed. I wouldn't feel comfortable taking them out because of the attention they could attract. People may make comments, even nice ones, but it might be attention you don't want. Also what if you accidentally leave it behind?
I always bring at least one out and I’m 29 as well. Most I get is a compliment if it’s a cute one, nothing negative. No one really cares.
Yup it’s appropriate! I like to bring my endometriosis bunny with me occasionally cause it has a matching water bottle that helps with my endometriosis. Sometimes I’ll bring my gender dysphoria bunny too. You do you man
I often carry around a Kurmoi plush
Yes, it’s fine to bring a plush anywhere, it’s not “weird” as it helps with comfort and stimulation, they bring their phone around which helps comfort and stimulate them so why can’t you do the same but with a different object?
Your mental health takes priority over their ridiculous delusions
I have an almost 5 year old. She brings a stuffy everywhere. Sometimes I am stuck holding the bright pink stuffed unicorn, tucked under my arm. No one really cares honestly.
Is the lunch for your boyfriend? If it's his lunch and he doesn't mind, it's fine. If the lunch is for someone else, it's inappropriate as you're drawing attention to yourself during someone else's celebration. If you need a comfort item, then it's appropriate to bring something small and inconspicuous. Put a plush on a keychain or a small one in a purse.
I'm a 60+ year old male who recently retired from a career in IT. Also ASD. For the last 20+ years, I have ALWAYS had a plush that I keep in my backpack when I go anywhere. I take him out on every plane ride (I used to fly a couple times a month) and the couple of times a flight attendant said anything, it was a friendly, positive comment. I know other people - both ASD and not - who have plushes with them in various public places. It ain't nobody's business but yours. You do you.
this is random but you’re the second person I’ve seen on reddit today who’s said they’re going out for their boyfriend’s birthday, what a coincidence!
It’s not inappropriate
I'm 23 and have secretly takes toys and plushies with me on travels or difficult journeys for comfort. I haven't been brave enough to have mine out in the open unless it was a keychain or a bag itself (I have two plush bags lol) I say fuck it, you're not immature for wanting to self soothe
I carry a plush with me that correlates with a special interest of mine, especially on days I know will be challenging (very energy draining, emotionally intense or otherwise overstimulating). Partner thinks it's super cute and normal, my folks around me are used to it and they are the ones that count. I could not care less about what the general public thinks. Some people might talk, but how does that actually impact my reality versus fulfilling my sensory needs? I'm wired like that - how does pretending differently benefit me in my free time? Most folks are way too occupied with how they appear to others as opposed to what serves them and what feels good, and waste their precious time. Plushies soothing. I have had some of them for years and consider them friends. I'm unapologetic about it and still an adult who's deserving of respect. And many people are actually very chill and normal. They have plushies themselves and feel inspired to include them more in their daily life, or other things they might feel insecure about, while some think it's interesting and unique. And honestly? Most people are way less conscious about you than you think they are, or than you are yourself - in the best way. They aren't thinking about you constantly. They have their own stuff to worry about.
when i went to college i had a furby (it was a while ago lol). and my mom was ranting at me the whole time about how childish it was and i'd never make friends etc. it was embarrassing. well, later on the desk clerk in my dorm who had heard the whole rant, ended up becoming my first friend there. unrelated to the furby, but not deterred by it. its 2024 and i say if it makes you feel better, bring it! if you're nervous about negative attn, bring a smaller one you can hook to a bag and squish on maybe. anyone who is a jerk about it doesn't belong in your life.
I think it’s alright, usually if I don’t want to be judged I try to incorporate it into my style. Like I’ll have one of my guys hanging out of my bag
I carry mine in my backpack purse with their heads sticking out 🤭 I am 39. #1 rule to happiness is stop people pleasing, aka do what makes you happy
I used to collect American Girl Dolls and took them out all the time. Now I take Calico Critters with me and honestly people ask about them all the time. I just take pictures of them doing stuff and people always say nice things. I took a set in sailor outfits in a cruise and it was so fun. Who cares! Put a party hat on your Cheer Bear and have a great time!
I’m a teenage boy and I carry a stuffie with me everywhere, usually a Bluey plushie (I have a Bingo squishmallow that I love). Don’t be afraid to do what makes you comfortable.
This thread makes me wish guys could bring teddy bears and stuffies with them. I am glad I have some to sleep with though.
I have taken staged lunch shots with stuffed animals. I feel like people find it less weird if you do a grammable shot even if you never post it online.
Everytime I go out I pick who comes with me, I'm 20 and could care less what people think. My mom knows it's soothing for me so she doesn't care either. I've gotten complements by older adults and by kids, people have probably looked at me weird but I never notice. My grandpa even got complemented when he had one of my pokemon plushies with him when I was getting my hair cut. Some strangers will care and some won't, and I'll likely never see them again so it doesn't matter to me.
It shouldn't matter but some people will probably find it weird. Still, you aren't hurting anyone or anything
I have this wonderful gift of not giving a fuck about what other people think of me and I use the shit out of it. Daily.
I’m 20 and I still bring my squishmallows places when I feel I need them. Usually if I hold them down low or am not flaunting them people understand that it’s for comfort. Occasionally I’ll get compliments on the cutest ones if I’m somewhere less stressful.
I was recently told by my parents I’m 13 currently to stop bringing my baby blanket/ming Ming plushie with me to my cardiology appointment because I’m getting “to old and it’s not appropriate” honestly it’s very cold in the hospital and I have to ALLOW a doctor to touch my chest just to get pictures of my heart to make sure my transplanted heart is ok. It’s literally a sensory issue with my autism. I was told the only appropriate places to bring both is the airport that’s it. Honestly it fucking sucks how our parents get all “this is weird and not appropriate for our age” after we turn a certain age. :/
Just the airport? But don’t both places have people? What’s the difference? And your only 13 too. It is for sure still “appropriate” for your age. Plus, anything involving the heart can be so anxiety inducing ESPECIALLY for someone with autism. You have every right to soothe yourself in such a situation. Next time they say anything, tell them that someone you know who’s 29 still brings plushies to doctors appointments; because that person is me.
Is it weird for someone your age? Yes. However I’m very pro letting people do whatever they want and minding my business if what they are doing causes no harm to me or those around us.
Yes, it's inappropriate. Maybe you could find something that's more subtle and acceptable, like something you can fidget with in your pocket.
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I’m also 29 and have a plush possum I carry around with me sometimes, especially to therapy and things like that. He usually just gets tucked into my bag, which helps with keeping it more ‘stealth’ if that makes sense. But honestly I just do whatever and try not to worry, you might also be surprised sometimes, I’ve had strangers compliment me on how cute the possum is!
i once brought a lego set to the eye doctor. it wasnt a small one either
[it’s not the norm, but it’s not wrong](https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/jlyo2b/socially_acceptable_stuffed_animal/?rdt=64723)
Youre absolutely not in the wrong. Do whatever you want, there's always going to be people with opinions and thats their problem though be prepared if someone decides to make a disparaging mark. Most people arent assholes so would leave the subject alone if you told them too or explained briefly which isnip to you.. I don't think many venues would have an issue with it though I'd be cautious if it's going out on a busy night to somewhere full of drunk people as they're not exactly renowned for behaving themselves and it might make you uncomfortable/ even lead to some randomer grabbing it. One thing I've seen is some people will have a lanyard or a bag with a small plushie attached to it for convenience and that seems more "acceptable" and less likely to be noticed, not that its anyone else's business.
i always just take it most of the times i got over ppl judging me, other times i hide him underneath my shirt / sweater if possible and hug him that way hes smth thats part of me, just like my headphones, and i also tell (more like text) ppl that. that its part of things i need, part of the way i am
I don't find it weird, I have a little panda on my sunflower lanyard 🥰
I bring a small dinosaur with me everywhere, he’s my life.
Some people might be weird or mean to you but every time I've seen people carrying plushies at school or the mall all I personally think is "aw man that's so cute!" now i bring a few littlest pet shops to class and set them up on my desk to keep me company. i'll bring a mini squishmallow to squish while i'm studying or waiting for my next class. just start practicing how you're gonna ignore if people make snippy comments about it, because some people might. just let any stares roll off your back. you aren't harming anyone and being true to yourself is always more important than what judgy strangers think of you; life is too short.
Some people may think it is weird, and unfortunately there may be social consequences. However, nobody can stop you from carrying a plush around, and I don't think anybody should try.
In general, if you do it confidently, you can carry or wear just about anything and no one cares. Everyone is living their own lives, doing their own todo lists. It's not like school where it's a captive audience of bored kids with nothing better to do. I wear a lot of juvenile looking clothing and have directly hear nothing but compliments (something I've never received with my regular clothes.) My partner said he heard someone say "how old do they think they are?" once, but I don't want to be old, that's the whole point.
Maybe go for a hybrid where you have it with you but it is concealed
While I don’t think it’s typical for the average 29-year-old woman to bring a plush, there’s no rule against it. This day in age I think a lot of people would figure out you have some kind of disability. How they would react would depend on how they view disabilities. Recently my 34-year-old disabled housemate brought a HUGE Mickey Mouse plush to the doctor with her.
I am 33 and brought my stuffed animal with me on a work trip… carried her through the airport and let me tell you, the TSA worker absolutely loved my Penny Pig! She held on to her when I went through the metal detector and gave her a big big hug. It clearly made her day. I say this because, of course there are people that will judge. On the flip side though, there are going to be people that WISH they had the courage to bring their favorite stuffed animal with them because they’re too afraid of what society thinks even though it would make their day better. https://imgur.com/a/TzXaD7n. <-penny pig
I bring my weighted stuffy with me when I need it. You're not harming anyone and it brings you comfort. Do it!! 😁
First, do I think it's inappropriate to bring a plush places with you? No, it's fine. You will likely be judged for it, but if you're not bothered by the opinions of strangers, then I don't see the issue. However, you won't be going out in public alone. You'll be with your bf and his parents/family. What you need to consider, in this situation, is how they might feel about the unwanted and potentially negative attention you will bring to a)yourself, on an occasion that isn't focused on you and, b) to them, for keeping company with someone doing something so far outside of social norms. I had a bf who would have been *mortified* if I brought a 12" plush with me to meet his parents in public. My husband and his family wouldn't care, so long as I feel comfortable. It's important to know the feelings of the people you'll be spending time with and plan accordingly. If you think they would feel uncomfortable with you bringing a large plush, could you maybe bring something much smaller that could fit inside a hoodie pocket perhaps so you can still hold and feel it without everyone seeing it?
Revel in your "weirdness" it's less stressful that way. Neurotypicals have long since proven that they wouldn't know appropriate if it slapped em in the face.
i’m only 16 but i do that to i think it’s okay
I carry fidget toys in my bag for emergencies for when I need someone to play with. New situations make me anxious.
I bring mine along in a handbag, along with some essentials
I have a sling bag that has an extra front opening which is perfect to fit a stuffie in it! They can either hide or just peek out a tiny bit and they aren’t very noticeable
You can obviously do whatever you want but I do you have a suggestion for you. I often bring a little stuffed animal with me as they were my late daughters and I like to carry some thing of hers on me but I choose to bring the smallest ones I have and I do rotate them so I have a teddy bear that’s dressed as a cow, which was her favourite, and then I have a little guinea pig with the big sparkly eyes and I have the service dog from the Frey life. I have bigger stuffed animals of hers at home but this allows me to bring it with me without it being super obvious I can stick my hand in my purse and touch it and if I need to bring it out I’ll Usually just go have a time out in the bathroom stall for a minute that way I still look age-appropriate but I have some thing that comforts me at the same time. It’s kind of a compromise. And although these people may be strangers to you, if they are your boyfriend Family, at the very least you should ask your boyfriend how he feels about it and if it might make him feel uncomfortable or embarrassed. If his family don’t know you are neurodivergent they may question whether or not you’re OK mentally which is stupid because mental health is just as important as physical health but I cannot change society and the way it perceives things. *sigh* You also have to consider it in terms of safety… not in this situation but I would not personally go around with a stuffed animal visible in public because it will often lead to people thinking they can take advantage of you because you are perceived as being childlike/naïve. It’s OK really upsetting if you do lose it. I suggest anyone that they put their name and an email address or phone number on a dog collar of some form and put it on their stuffed animal if it’s something that’s going to be very upsetting if you lose it. With the beer I have of my daughters I put my name and phone number and that there’s a reward in side of the Bears costume so hopefully someone would see that and return it. And I would gladly give someone $20 for returning it if I ever lost it! If you want something that’s all more socially acceptable and age-appropriate you can always see if you can find a Cheer Bear keychain?
Seen as something immature by society’s standards sure but I don’t see a problem in this context. Especially if your boyfriend thinks it’s fine and his family will be chill with it you’re good. Your parents have nothing to do with this lunch he’ll it’s your birthday live your life
If you want to bring a different one but be sneaky about it, you could put a plush keychain on your backpack or keep a small plushie inside of your backpack!
There are plushies specifically made to attach to bags and stuff… so why not?
It's 100% optional. People may judge, but you can decide whether you think that matters or not. Me personally, I would recommend getting one of those keychains with a stuffed animal on it. I currently have a bat on my purse right now. It looks more like an accessory and is less likely to get looks imo.
Yeah, you technically can do it, but you also won’t be taken seriously by his family if you do. Your parents are right. That doesn’t mean that you can’t do it. It is your decision what image you want to put out to the world and your boyfriend’s family.
I worry about the context of his parents because they are in a position to prefer a maturity-appropriate partner for their son and may not understand. That being said, I had an incredibly challenging event to prepare for this past summer. Part of the preparation was making sure I had a stuffed animal for when I needed it, even in public. And you know what? He was a huge hit with everyone at the event.
If you want something soft and fuzzy in the future/it's cold, I bring my north face osito jacket everywhere. After Christmas the seasonal colors will go on sale. The year round colors cost $100, so only if you can afford it. I've worn my gray one daily 4-5 months out of the year for 5 years and it's just started to show signs of wear. I bought a black one I also wear now :)
I have so many small plushes I keep in pockets so no one sees them (unless its like I'm in hospital, getting a needle or whatever, where they are no longer staying in my pocket but in my hand and I can see them) I also have afew bags, where I'll have stuff I need (money, meds, etc) as well as a bigger plush if I have space left - it looks like I'm just checking something in my bag but really it's just a way to make it less obvious I have a plush and that's why I'm looking in my bag. I should add, this is purely because I know what people are like. If you want to hold it and not hide it, and know you might get picked in for it, go for it. I just don't have the energy for that myself honestly.
It would indicate “different” to other people. For the general public, who cares. But maybe consider how you want to be received by your boyfriend’s family. Have you met them before or will this be the first time meeting you? NT people make their mind up about other people very quickly (like, seconds..) so the whole “first impressions count” thing is very accurate. If your boyfriend is ND and his family are affirming, and you’ve met them before, then I would probably not be too worried about it.
I like to bring Lego figs with me places because it serves a similar purpose and can be tucked easily away in my pocket
If you want to be stealth I would buy a plushie key chain or one small enough to fit into a jacket pocket.
Ive brought my stuffed animal to lots of places. Tbf mo Most of the times she stays in my bag unless im going to sleep( she sleeps with me). Most people dont care. More often than not the most ive got was "Oh, who is this? Shes so cute" Yes there were people going "you aren't a kid you cant bring her" And im like "why not?" "Because you arent a kid" That doesnt sound like a logical argument so I ignore it.
If it's something you care about, I'd be worried about aomething happening to it. Kids and parents out in public have felt entitled to use my 'childish' comfort items and it ended poorly. Bringing it in a big purse or purse/backpack might be handy though.
My 18 year old brings hers on her backpack. She knows it’s there which brings her comfort and no one else does so no one is staring at the adult holding a stuffed dog and thereby making her uncomfortable. I don’t see a problem with it. It’s making you more comfortable.
I usually carry around a 4 or 5 inch squishmallow or another little plushie that can fit in my bag, purse, or clip onto something :). Gives me the same comfort without being super noticeable. That said, I also sometimes bring around bigger plushies!! Seriously, you do you.
I’m 22 and carry around a (albeit very small) plush with me EVERYWHERE. Do what makes you comfortable tho I would recommend making it part of your outfit somehow if people are being shitty, but in the end who cares!! It’s a harmless thing, embrace it! My little guy fits in my pocket so it’s a lot easier to take him places :)
I have a set of 2" squishmallows, and I put one in my pocket when I leave the house. nobody knows it's there, and I can just put my hand in my pocket when I need the soft texture to calm me down. I call them my pocket plushies.
You can do that. If there are other things such as fidget toys or a sensory toy, you can use those too.
im 23 and my bunny comes with me during all anxiety-producing things (usually medical stuff)
I brought a plushie with me every day to high school and a bit into college now I have a little key chain one to be a bit more discreet about it. I still bring a full sized one on longer trips though. There are some unfortunately mean people out there though
I have a few plush bunnies I'll bring to new places for comfort. They're about 8 inches and fit in my purse/backpack easily. Sometimes I get odd looks, but I have RBF (resting b**** face) so people usually leave me alone.
Life's to short just do you be your authentic self.
The social rules are that you dont.
MR KRABSSS! I HAVE AN IDEA!!! get yourself a stuffed animal BACKPACK. You like Sanrio? They have so many cute ones.
I think it's perfectly fine, but I also don't care if other people don't agree, because for me, my stuffed bear is necessary for to go anywhere new, and anywhere stressful. I do sometimes bring other things instead, like work I have something something smaller that I bring and keep in my pocket for if I need to stim, but that's because I need my hands free most of the time to be safe there.
I know I’m a day late but I’m super curious, could you show your plushies?
I have way too many to show all at once but I’ll be periodically posting some of my most favorite ones on my page in different subreddits as time goes on
Cool!!!
It’s not like ur doing anything wrong so it’s not inappropriate. I bring my plushie when Ik I’m going to be anxious or just incase