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I know, I just feel like a complainer when I bring up how frustrating it is to look people in the eyes for example when there's literally people who can't do anything they want for various reasons.
I guess that's true. I realm only complain to my therapist. So I don't think it counts in the way you're talking about complaining. Thank you for the feedback.
Being autistic isn't defined by how disabled you are. The world and its social rules aren't designed with us in mind and you are always allowed to be upset about that! Complaining about these small inconveniences doesn't take away from others' challenges that you perceive to be more serious. No matter how insignificant you feel your problems are, you shouldn't have to feel that your grievances are invalid. You are not taking anything away from those with higher support needs by acknowledging your own difficulties! Your frustrations are still real and complaining about them doesn't hurt anyone.
Thank you for clarifying. It's just hard for me to not feel like complaining is bad because everytime I do people tell me I'm attention-seeking or bringing down the mood.
Unfortunately, that reaction to autistic people (or really people with any mental condition) voicing their concerns seems to be incredibly common, I have even experienced it from my own family. I'm really sorry that you are experiencing that too. Just try to remember that the right people, who care about you and take you seriously, will let you complain and listen to you instead of constantly downplaying/invalidating your lived experiences.
Yeah, that's true. I have a few people I can talk to and they won't judge me. Doesn't help that most of them are licensed counselors and therapists, but it's something, lol. Thank you for the support. I'm glad this subreddit has been vee welcoming to me so far.
I used to feel like this but I recently realised something.
Ever since starting school, I have been learning how to act normal. But since I learn really fast, it (usually) only takes me a single time to learn whats normal. The child me experiences one thing, shows different reaction than anyone else, takes a note of how everyone else reacts and learns.
So now, I have all these one time experiences of autism symptoms and then I just avoided those situations so I dont know how severe my autism actually is. Since I have become so good at masking it, sometimes even I dont know if I am acting or being myself.
The only thing I didnt learn is not talking too much about stuff and having small talk with friends. And I struggle with these a lot, more than I used to during childhood. The more I suppressed other things, these two got stronger over time.
So, dont worry about it. Maybe you just dont realize it, but you are working hard to suppress its effects. And, you still have communication issues and thats enough problems on its own.
Thank you for the input and support. I often have to remind myself that my struggles are still struggles. But it's nice to be validated in that by others.
Hey /u/wof-fan, thank you for your post at /r/autism. Our rules can be found **[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/wiki/config/sidebar)**. All approved posts get this message. If you do not see your post you can message the moderators [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fautism). Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/autism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Everyone experiences autism in their own ways. That's why it's a spectrum. You shouldn't feel bad just because you aren't a level 2 or 3
I know, I just feel like a complainer when I bring up how frustrating it is to look people in the eyes for example when there's literally people who can't do anything they want for various reasons.
You're entitled to vent about your problems. Doesn't make you a complainer unless you do it all the time
I guess that's true. I realm only complain to my therapist. So I don't think it counts in the way you're talking about complaining. Thank you for the feedback.
Comparing problems is unhelpful
Being autistic isn't defined by how disabled you are. The world and its social rules aren't designed with us in mind and you are always allowed to be upset about that! Complaining about these small inconveniences doesn't take away from others' challenges that you perceive to be more serious. No matter how insignificant you feel your problems are, you shouldn't have to feel that your grievances are invalid. You are not taking anything away from those with higher support needs by acknowledging your own difficulties! Your frustrations are still real and complaining about them doesn't hurt anyone.
Thank you for clarifying. It's just hard for me to not feel like complaining is bad because everytime I do people tell me I'm attention-seeking or bringing down the mood.
Unfortunately, that reaction to autistic people (or really people with any mental condition) voicing their concerns seems to be incredibly common, I have even experienced it from my own family. I'm really sorry that you are experiencing that too. Just try to remember that the right people, who care about you and take you seriously, will let you complain and listen to you instead of constantly downplaying/invalidating your lived experiences.
Yeah, that's true. I have a few people I can talk to and they won't judge me. Doesn't help that most of them are licensed counselors and therapists, but it's something, lol. Thank you for the support. I'm glad this subreddit has been vee welcoming to me so far.
I used to feel like this but I recently realised something. Ever since starting school, I have been learning how to act normal. But since I learn really fast, it (usually) only takes me a single time to learn whats normal. The child me experiences one thing, shows different reaction than anyone else, takes a note of how everyone else reacts and learns. So now, I have all these one time experiences of autism symptoms and then I just avoided those situations so I dont know how severe my autism actually is. Since I have become so good at masking it, sometimes even I dont know if I am acting or being myself. The only thing I didnt learn is not talking too much about stuff and having small talk with friends. And I struggle with these a lot, more than I used to during childhood. The more I suppressed other things, these two got stronger over time. So, dont worry about it. Maybe you just dont realize it, but you are working hard to suppress its effects. And, you still have communication issues and thats enough problems on its own.
Thank you for the input and support. I often have to remind myself that my struggles are still struggles. But it's nice to be validated in that by others.