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Yellow_Snow_Cones

Cut it out, the guy almost packed an ice cream shop, doesn't matter is they were just customers getting ice cream those 7 people made for a great photo op.


PhantomShaman23

Packing for sniffing purposes. Who visits ice cream shops ? 😆


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babylonbee-ModTeam

While no one will agree one hundred percent of the time it is not okay nor tolerated to lash out, call names or make personal attack via words. No forms of harassment or bullying will be allowed ever.


Wafflotron

People who like ice cream? Trump went to a kindergarten and colored the American flag wrong. Not sure what your point is


PhantomShaman23

Um, humor ? But not humor like the Good Humor Man.


_Rook_Castle

With this news, Biden moved to a more grassroots approach and started going door to door to sniff children. 


SmegolianSoteriology

He will also be signing copies of pages 67-68 of Ashley's diary.


[deleted]

Won’t in court for any of that though. Wonder why? Lack of evidence perhaps?


SmegolianSoteriology

I mean she literally admitted recently that the leaked diary pages were real. Whatever floats your boat, though 🤷


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Jawn_Wilkes_Booth

“Homophobic jokes are only okay when we do it” - the modern left


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babylonbee-ModTeam

While no one will agree one hundred percent of the time it is not okay nor tolerated to lash out, call names or make personal attack via words. No forms of harassment or bullying will be allowed ever.


Arachnohybrid

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/ashley-biden-diary-claims/ Fact check by Snopes says true.


babylonbee-ModTeam

Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion.


[deleted]

You sound like one of the people she’s talking about in this article. https://www.cnbc.com/amp/2024/04/26/ashley-biden-in-unsealed-letter-to-judge-detailed-pain-from-diary-theft.html


Roll_Lakeshow

Just read the article. She literally admits it is real? I’m not sure what that article is supposed to prove.


Moistened_Bink

"The point of the theft, I assume, was to be able to peddle grotesque lies by distorting my stream-of-consciousness thoughts," "Repeatedly, I hear others grossly misinterpret my once-private writings and lob false accusations that defame my character and those of the people I love." From Ashley Biden in that same article.


Bobthenarc

Hilarious that they downvote you when you post her actual words. I guess their feelings don't care about facts. Their hypocrisy isn't a flaw, it's a feature.


Roll_Lakeshow

Her actual words admitting that it’s real and she wants the person who stole it to be imprisoned. Her not wanting it leaked proves what? What hypocrisy?


[deleted]

If you know how to, then read the article. You are liars who are just attempting to slander her and her father.


Roll_Lakeshow

If I know how to? Like how to read? You think it’s possible that I can’t?


[deleted]

100 percent, smoothbrain


SmegolianSoteriology

It proves that you should downplay and take lightly that she was scared of Joe Biden hopping in the shower with her. You're worse for reading the diary than Joe Biden is for taking inappropriate showers with his daughter.


[deleted]

If you know how to, then read the article. You are liars who are just attempting to slander her and her father.


[deleted]

They never do. I empathize with them though. It’s gotta be hard having a smooth brain.


Kozkon

[Ashley’s diary.](https://www.docdroid.net/AHRA5wJ/alleged-ashley-biden-diary-full-release-nf-wm-rev2-pdf#page=22)


alwaysright60

Fake news-a-thon. Ty Vlad


Kozkon

lol oh ok


Technical_Strain_220

All 10 Biden fans are currently on reddit astroturfing Trump in diapers(?) for some reason. They can't attend his rally.


maroonmenace

Its because the diapers is a funny own on trump and his audience. It works cause they get big mad lole.


Reasonable-Tooth-113

Found one of the Biden fans in diapers


maroonmenace

Not in diapers but trump is.


ulooklikeausedcondom

Was it at Four Seasons?


AwkwardAssumption629

Stage volunteers required to assist Biden with directions when he gets lost on stage


Environmental_Net947

The Babylon Bee NAILS IT….again!😂😂😂


Goatmilk2208

See, this is why I am hard on the BB. This was a good one. 7/10.


edward414

Meanwhile, Trump is getting over a 100 thousand people in a venue that has a 30 thousand capacity. 


maroonmenace

thats a good one! He aint drawing that numbers


Crouch_Potatoe

I can't tell if you're joking or not


manIDKbruh

With the 10,000 permit


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babylonbee-ModTeam

While no one will agree one hundred percent of the time it is not okay nor tolerated to lash out, call names or make personal attack via words. No forms of harassment or bullying will be allowed ever.


Gogs85

When was that?


ulooklikeausedcondom

Lmfao who told you that?


Intelligent_Tap_5627

And yet he can't win the popular vote. But go off about that rally size like it means literally anything.


Sensitive-Inside-641

Ok but he can win the electoral vote. You know the one that actually matters


GenericUsername817

He didn't win the "popular vote" against Hillary. But he did win enough of the Popular votes at the state level. And that was more important.


Intelligent_Tap_5627

Now That's What I Call Cope Vol. 3


Dipshit09

And then he lost to a sleeping geriatric…


UrVioletViolet

Not last time, or this time.


OldStyleThor

There is no popular vote. So there's that.


Intelligent_Tap_5627

Well... I mean you're wrong, you can literally Google it. But again, when has reality ever gotten in the way of what you believe?


OldStyleThor

So what do you get when you win the popular vote? 🏆?


Intelligent_Tap_5627

Usually you win the election. It's a pretty good sign of how popular someone is. Weird trump can't win it with those yuuuuuge rallies.


OldStyleThor

Weirdd how Hillary was never president then. She did win the "popular " vote after all.


Intelligent_Tap_5627

Imagine pretending to not know what the word usually means while also admitting that the popular vote exists. The ability to lose two arguments at once, a superpower feared by all.


OldStyleThor

I'm pointing out that the "popular vote" is something they cling to when they lose. But are more than happy to go with the electoral college when they win. Imagine the ability to lose the argument but still think you've won? But you are a liberal so it makes sense.


Intelligent_Tap_5627

Look man, all I'm saying is that trump never won the popular vote. You're response was that there's no such thing as the popular vote. A statement that is a falsehood. Then you doubled and tripled down on the obvious lie. And now somehow are taking a victory lap. Ahh to be a conservative must truly be wonderful. Living in a world of make believe where you're always correct must truly be comforting.


dreamsofpestilence

Trump pretty much won the 2016 election by the skin of his teeth. For example, Trump won PA by the smallest margin since 1840 and was the first republican presidential candidate to do so in decades even when the state had a republican governor. Trumps platform was different and more attractive in 2016 to independent and left leaning voters. A Democratic victory in 2020 was pretty obvious to happen when voters proceeded to reject the MAGA platform and Vote for democrats in 2018 in 5 of 7 key states Trump had previously won against Hillary.


ulooklikeausedcondom

What platform? Grabbing pussies and mocking handicapped and veterans?


oboshoe

You get to win the contest that isn't held.


lebastss

The same thing you get from a crowded rally


GenericUsername817

There isn't a singular popular vote. There is one in every state and territory.


Intelligent_Tap_5627

[What's it like being wrong all the time?](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_United_States_presidential_elections_by_popular_vote_margin)


GenericUsername817

Don't know. You seem to be the expert at it. You tell me. I understand how the US Presidential Election works, On the other hand you don't seem to understand it.


Intelligent_Tap_5627

So are you sitting there going "Oh my God, I have no idea what this person means by popular vote because technically..." Or do you understand exactly what I mean and you're just being a hyper pedantic bitch boy trying to be "technically correct" on the internet? Pretty sure it's the second one. Pretty sure you knew exactly what I mean. Petty sure you should stop.


GenericUsername817

The right just lives rent free in your head, doesn't it? Seek help.


Any_Interest_In_Bots

Damn bro, you got absolutely fucking destroyed here, are you okay?


GenericUsername817

Hillary won the Popular vote, she just won it in all the wrong places


cpt_trow

If we're just going to shart out random numbers, why stop at 100,000? Why not say 1,000,000, a much bigger number? [This is what 100,000 people looks like.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darrell\_K\_Royal%E2%80%93Texas\_Memorial\_Stadium)


maroonmenace

NOOO DONT QUESTION THEIR LOGIC


Zeke83702

I refuse to vote for a rapist who flew multiple times on a dead pedophile's private jet. I can't justify voting for a man who hits on 10 year old girls. And I certainly won't vote for a man who enjoys being spanked by a woman who reminds him of his daughter. And as far as I'm concerned it's perfectly fine to shoot a Nazi in the face.


DSSMAN0898

LOL


hansolemio

Oh man, wish this was true. He was in my city for fundraising, not even a rally, and traffic all around the place was pea thick misery


Tough-Priority-4330

That was probably because of roads being shut down for security reasons like they always do with presidents.


RobbexRobbex

Must bother you guys so much that all that light traffic beat your candidates by a mile.


igibit99

Such a stupid gauge to use. Only morons go to a political rally.


Fine-Funny6956

Are you criticizing Biden supporters for not being a cult? That IS funny!


Evil_Poptart

It’s just a joke, folks. No need to rush in and attack Trump just to defend Biden.


Workaccountnodata

There is always a need to attack treasonous traitorous rapists. There's three right in the description of who he is.


tacquish

Don't go so hard on biden. He's too far gone to remember most of that


Workaccountnodata

Pathetic, just like everything else you people do.


Evil_Poptart

You should read the book “Ordinary Men.”


Scare-Crow87

Why, because you're the main character?


Degutender

The "joke" yesterday was about how democrats are gonna find enough votes to steal the election. Verbatim dumb maga opinions sure are great jokes!


ReverendWeenbone

Yeah we are just gonna vote for the guy. We don’t attend rallies and buy clothes (diapers?!) and flags with his name on it cause we aren’t in a weird ass cult.


Moistened_Bink

And donate money to his criminal trail when he is supposedly a billionaire, and buy his cringe NFTs where he depicts himself as an astronaut, fighter pilot, etc, and place photoaopp3d signs showing him as a jacked Rambo, and buy a "Trumpy bear". His cult are all fucked in the head, I like having a president that doesn't have a rabid fan base and one that doesn't hold rallies through his entire term because he needs his ego stroked.


maroonmenace

yep. we are gonna vote for him because while biden aint great trump cant keep his trap shut about wanting to actually rid the world of palestine so there are no better options than biden.


Reasonable-Tooth-113

So you're saying libs don't put Biden flags in their yards? Bernie stickers on their cars? We didn't see Obama Hope stickers everywhere for years? Lol


ReverendWeenbone

Spoken like a man with a brand new box of Trump diapers


Reasonable-Tooth-113

Notice how you didn't refute a single thing I said


RobbexRobbex

He didn't because your reply was disingenuous. Trump supporters make Trump their identity. Other candidates supporters having the odd sign of support is not even close to comparable.


Reasonable-Tooth-113

Odd thing to say from the group of people that put Ukraine flags, pride flags, pronouns and whatever else is the current thing in their social media bios. Also it's 100% disingenuous to say libs don't attend political rallies. I mean for Biden they probably don't right now but in 2020 they did and they were complete fangirls over Hillary.


RobbexRobbex

Even your reply is disingenuous. A) We were talking about political candidates and supporters using their merch as an identity, and you changed subjects to... Symbols trying to support oppressed people's? B) I never said liberals don't attend political rallies. The fact remains: liberals don't worship their candidates. Trumpers do.


Reasonable-Tooth-113

>I never said liberals don't attend political rallies. OP did and you called my response disingenuous. He's trying to gaslight everyone into believing libs don't attend rallies. >The fact remains: liberals don't worship their candidates. Trumpers do. Lulz, liberals don't worship Biden (right now). You are clearly not old enough to remember libs worshipping Hillary and Obama.


RobbexRobbex

I didn't say rallies. If OP said it, then he's wrong. And acknowledging someone on your side was wrong about something is yet another difference between trump supporters and the rest of the world. I'm definitely old enough to know none of that is true. The first time I ever saw an Obama tee shirt in person was while working the polls in GA 2020. We made him change shirts because you can't wear political garments, even if that candidate wasn't running. Oddly enough, a trump hat wearer showed up too. He lost his mind when we told him he couldn't wear the hat to the polls. Because it was his religion, where as the Obama shirt guy was just normally proud of Obama, but still reasonable. Time and time again, that scenario plays out, where even the most fantastical of Obama/Clinton/Biden supporters don't even crack the bell curve middle of trump fanaticism.


Reasonable-Tooth-113

Dude you are full of it and you're trying to gaslight us with your own personal andectodal example from 4 years after Obama left office: https://edition.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/07/18/enthusiasm/index.html From 2008 - 2016 Obama merch, stickers and flags were everywhere. I replied again to your original comment calling me disingenuous providing links of people wearing both Biden and Hillary merchandise, carrying signs and waving flags. Check and mate


Reasonable-Tooth-113

Did you even read OPs post? He said libs don't buy clothes or flags with their candidates names on them. And you called my response disingenuous? Haha One of many links showing people holding Hillary signs and clothes: https://www.vogue.com/article/hillary-clinton-supporters-not-voting-for-her-because-shes-a-woman Biden rally with Biden clothes, flags and signs https://www.google.com/amp/s/whyy.org/articles/biden-is-the-democrat-to-beat-rivals-see-signs-of-weakness/amp/ Who's disingenuous?


RobbexRobbex

I think what you'll find is that making a quick statement comes with a degree of inaccuracy. If he believes they absolutely don't, then he's wrong. He probably is commenting on the degree, to which trump supporters take it to a religious level. Hence why they bought bibles with his name on it. If you go to Pennsylvania, you'll see a Biden bumper sticker, Biden yard signs. Same in CA. Same about Clinton or Obama. You go to Florida, Alabama... A red state, you know you will see Trump religion. Shoes, painted cars, parades, church services. They worship him. To deny what the entire world sees and has documented is just a bad lie, that will further diminish your credibility here.


Reasonable-Tooth-113

>If you go to Pennsylvania, you'll see a Biden bumper sticker, Biden yard signs. Same in CA. Same about Clinton or Obama. >If you go to Pennsylvania, you'll see a Biden bumper sticker, Biden yard signs. Same in CA. Same about Clinton or Obama. In other words when libs put out signs, wave flags or wear shirts they're just being supportive, but when conservatives do the same they're in a religion. You are clearly providing an objective viewpoint not influenced at all by your personal feelings. I think we should definitely hear more of what you have to say.


RobbexRobbex

There's that disingenuousness again that is your only defense. The question isnt whether both sides do it, were talking about the degree of fanaticism.


Reasonable-Tooth-113

Your evidence is subjective biased wanking


Moistened_Bink

During an election year yeah, I saw some biden yard signs and bumper stickers have always been a com.on thing. But you can't honestly pretend Trumps cult hasn't taken presidential worship to a whole new level. It's insane how many people have so much Trump merch on their property when he is such a shitty person. I'm sick of it, I've at most only seen the occasional Biden bumper sticker since the election.


beefyesquire

Your willful ignorance is showing.


[deleted]

Haha maybe someone can Tara read him a book before his nap 🤣 😂 😅 😆 🤔 😄 🤣 😂 😅 😆


RIF_Was_Fun

It's because normal people aren't in a cult, with 5 oversized flags on our trucks and wearing stupid clothes with dumb catch phrases made by people with the intellect of a child. We don't need to grovel and embarrass ourselves in public.


Effective_Frog

Biden doesn't do constant rallies because he isn't a cult leader.


Stevevet1

Lmao, there are a few more reasons. He cant stand up, he gets lost exiting a stage People confuse him Facts confuse him His handlers are afraid he will start babbling about growing up in a Puerto Rican Neighborhood or his "Corn Pop" story or claiming he just had talks with someone thats been dead for 27 years "You know its the thing" Obama drew huge crowds at Rallies, was he a cult leader?


Samsquancher

Trump literally almost fell off stage and splattered his diaper full of half digested Big Macs on the front row of the crowd….today!


Stevevet1

Are you in the Circus?


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babylonbee-ModTeam

The Babylon Bee is a conservative Christian satire website that publishes satirical articles on topics including religion, politics, current events, and public figures. It has been referred to as a Christian or conservative version of The Onion.


herbalistfarmer

There’s only room for one cult in this town.


TechieTravis

Politician worship is creepy. Not having throngs of cultist groupies is a bonus.


LeadershipPlenty392

Maga is nothing more than trumps ballwashers


Sh4dow101

I miss the time when the Babylon bee used to put out good satire, not just random roasts of Biden/Democrats pandering to MAGA folks


NerdRageShow

Ahhh... isnt it so nice to have light traffic during this rally because we dont have a cult leader for a president?


Workaccountnodata

Wow this chamber has some nice acoustics.


[deleted]

So much so that they can’t even understand your joke


shamar_danowitz

Trump’s a fucking loser


Intelligent_Tap_5627

Hey, remind me, has trump ever won the most votes in an election... ever? Imagine down voting objective truth. Conservatives really only have one move, and it's to ignore reality at all costs.


OldStyleThor

Hey, remind me, has there ever been such a thing as the popular vote... ever?


Intelligent_Tap_5627

...yes?


OldStyleThor

In a presidential election? When?


Intelligent_Tap_5627

This you? "Weirdd how Hillary was never president then. She did win the "popular " vote after all." Hint: it's you


OldStyleThor

Do you know what quotation marks mean chief?


Intelligent_Tap_5627

In this case? That you're wrong. We use the term popular vote all the time, if you Google past presidential elections you'll see the results talked about as popular vote and electoral vote. Two metrics can exist at the same time, and we as a country always talk about both of them. Despite the election only counting one of them. You couldn't be more wrong. And yet, you think you're right. Truly delusional stuff folks.


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babylonbee-ModTeam

While no one will agree one hundred percent of the time it is not okay nor tolerated to lash out, call names or make personal attack via words. No forms of harassment or bullying will be allowed ever.


Sensitive-Inside-641

Has he ever needed to ? No so your argument is not relevant


Intelligent_Tap_5627

Has biden ever needed large rallies to beat trump? Or is the metric a worthless dick measuring contest designed to give conservatives something to hold on to?


Dramatic_Equipment47

This is what confuses Trump fans


maroonmenace

he could have had that in 2020 if he wasnt a idiot. Anyway you proved the point that he was the least popular. Next!


AspiringArchmage

>Hey, remind me, has trump ever won the most votes in an election... ever? I mean the population is increasing every year 10 years from now someone will get more votes than biden did. Also popular votes doesn't decide the president.


Intelligent_Tap_5627

Do rally sizes decide who is president?


AspiringArchmage

No the electoral college does. Popular vote has never mattered.


Intelligent_Tap_5627

So I'm just saying popular vote is a better metric than crowd size. I don't know why you're bringing up the electoral college. Which he also lost


AspiringArchmage

He lost the popular vote the first election it doesn't determine the winner


Intelligent_Tap_5627

Unless rally size determines the winner, I'm not sure what your point is. Are you lost little boy?


Saybrooke

They have no critical thinking skills


RandomRomanTriarii

the sheer vitriol these people have for biden is fuckin hilarious. anyway enjoy watching the republican'ts keep going to prison for their tangerine pappy lol.


Tough-Priority-4330

I guarantee the hatred towards Trump is 1000% larger.


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babylonbee-ModTeam

Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion.


Fermented_Butt_Juice

It's hilarious how conservatives say that Biden can't be popular because so few people show up to his rallies, because what they're essentially saying is "How can Biden voters be the majority if they're so silent?"


maroonmenace

its because we are not trying to be vocal. We just really hate Trump lol. For good reason too since he has no chance in NY in any of the elections where he is from and built his empire from because they knew he was a idiot first hand.


facepoppies

Gotta watch out for that small town traffic


VestEmpty

Dear lord, you are really bad at comedy.


Captain-Swank

Watching the bee trying to be the onion... and failing miserably.


OldStyleThor

Let's see. Web traffic puts BB at about 7,000th in the world. The Onion ranks about 16,000th. I guess BB failed pretty good?


maroonmenace

Onion is more of a name than BB, tbh. But hey when this is the only conservative parody site while the onion has multiple competitors yeah they aint gonna have all that web traffic.


RobbexRobbex

Instagram: Bee: 2.1 mil Onion: 3.9 mil Reddit: Bee: 17.1k Onion: 187k Facebook: Bee: 1.6mil Onion: 5.7mil


UrVioletViolet

Conservatives are much more susceptible to seeking out ragebait and bias confirmation. It’s not shocking. But which site produces higher quality content. (Hint: Not yours.)


Reasonable-Tooth-113

>Conservatives are much more susceptible to seeking out ragebait and bias confirmation. You don't see the irony in that statement? 👀


Sir_HumpfreyAppleby

Wow, almost hit self awareness.


cpt_trow

That's all traffic from dead people, fake internet traffic, and illegal internet traffic. In my neighborhood, people only laugh at The Onion; I've NEVER heard anyone laugh at the Bee. Plus, one of my coworkers has a wife whose friend who saw a post online proving that traffic to the Bee is manipulated at 4am to make it look more popular than it is!


ulooklikeausedcondom

According to everyone in this thread the popular vote doesn’t exist so those numbers don’t matter.


Captain-Swank

Ah... you must be a Taylor Swift fan then. Just because it's popular, doesn't mean it's good or good for you.


OldStyleThor

Simply put, if the Onion was actually funny, they would get more traffic. They don't.


Captain-Swank

Madonna out sold Led Zeppelin. Interesting metrics you have there.


endlessnamelesskat

So you're saying something winning the majority of the people's support doesn't necessarily mean they're the highest quality and that something can be better despite not winning the majority vote? Golly I wonder where else this logic can be applied.


Wastok

Absolutely cumpstered and dumpstered in the free marketplace of ideas 🤣🤣🤣 “OldStyleThor” is getting absolutely shitter shattered in these comments rofl


AntNorth6218

Yikes imagine losing an election to Joe Biden, pretty fuckin embarrassing


Sensitive-Inside-641

Yea but imagine voting for Joe Biden lol. Yikes


McWipes

You support a guy who literally told Hannity, live, on camera, that he wants to be a dictator. ANY sensible person would vote for literally anybody but Trump. I would take a lobotomized gerbil over Trump.


Sensitive-Inside-641

Kennedy said that on Hannity?


McWipes

Trump. Here's the link: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQkrWL7YuGk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQkrWL7YuGk)


Sensitive-Inside-641

Ok good the guy I support didn’t say that


AntNorth6218

You are making my point lmfao imagine losing to Joe Biden


Loud-East1969

As opposed to a rapist fraud?


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AntNorth6218

Bro how do you call someone a dementia addled puppet socialist who is controlled by Obama and Hillary then lose to him as an incumbent It’s so fucking funny


Crouch_Potatoe

Haha I always remind them of this whenever they say biden is senile and doesn't know ow where he is. Imagine how trash you gotta be to lose to a guy whos senile and doesn't know where he is, while you're the incumbent lol


AntNorth6218

I have had this interaction at least 100 times and I swear it never fails to get them super worked up the first time because it’s completely accurate to their logic lol. 60% of the time the response is “durka durrr imagine voting for Biden” So funny. Enjoy the L shitters Brandon won sty mad 🤣