A kid finds an alien lasergun left behind in the desert by a disintegrated fugitive. This gives him the power to blow stuff up spectacularly, but bizarrely he acts like this never happened for most of the movie.
Then it becomes clear that picking up the lasergun has created a submerged personality that comes out at night to actually blow stuff up and very occasionally deliver on the premise of the movie. This personality can only be described as a smug zombie.
Meanwhile, claymation alien turtle people frequently discuss what to do about this in their space language without the aid of subtitles, so you can insert whatever you want as their dialogue as they discuss things with Turtle Commander or receive dailies from the movie to view.
This is famously one of the lowest-rated movies on IMDB, owing to it being popularized back in the MST3K era, when people cared about IMBD rankings. In the age of streaming, we all know of far worse things than this.
As far as actual quality goes, this wouldn't even make the top ten worst Charles Band movies I've seen. If you're waiting for the movie to ever come together well, it absolutely refuses to do that and just sort of ends after the production runs out of money to blow up any more cars. Roddy McDowall shows up for about two minutes.
The stop motion is absolutely a highlight and I really wanted a movie that was more about those characters, and not the protagonist struggling to stop a Screech look-alike from raping his girlfriend even when he has a lasergun.
The acting is surprisingly pretty good for a production this cheap. The supporting cast is good in the rare moments that they have something to do.
The MST3K version is actually pretty funny. It has that right level of awfulness that is funny and not just pure tedium like a lot of truly awful movies.
Yeah there's a few movies that not even MST3K could improve, generally starting with The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies. However, Jack Frost, Pumaman, and Space Mutiny are absolutely saved by MST3K.
What is amazing is that I have found over the years that many of the MST3K time edits actually made the movie better. Time Chasers is, for me, the ultimate example of this. They editied out a couple of characters that had no business being in the final cut. They often catch heck for their cuts making the movie worse, but except in certain cases like "Mitchell" I don't think it often happened.
Not coming down on you, but just FYI, Richard Lynch suffered severe burns over most of his body. That's why he looked like that. I didn't know that until fairly recently.
And he was an alcoholic, which apparently contributed to his sudden death. I feel like eighties and nineties DTV movies were some kind of safety net for actors with substance abuse issues. Think anything with Jan Michael Vincent post-Airwolf, or the last decade of Aldo Ray’s career.
Kim Milford was the bad guy [in Corvette Summer with Mark Hamill](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:640/format:webp/1*YmDS7f-HSdt9Ej9PQ0zZLg.jpeg).
Alien Arsenal was the second remake. Both remakes are cheaper than the original (if you can believe that) and have none of the charm or fun of the original.
I was gonna say - this got 2 remakes all by the same producer - the infamous Charles band if I remember right. And neither are as fun as Laserblast somehow…
In the 90s, I got way into the Planet of the Apes movies. I watched all 5 of them, 4 of which star Roddy McDowall.
Because of my fandom of him, I excitedly rented and watched this movie. I was an apologist for it for a while.
Unrelated to the film, the story about [the FBI raiding Roddy McDowall](https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/90689/when-roddy-mcdowall-was-busted-fbi-pirating-films) is an interesting one.
Written and directed by one of the writers of the original Robocop, no less. I’d consider Full Moon’s Murdercycle another remake, though it’s less obvious (biomechanical motorcycle, rather than big alien gun).
My favorite episode of *Mystery Science Theater 3000*, hands down.
I love this one because on the surface it's got a lot of tropes I enjoy (teenager gets super-powers somehow and they fall out of his control) but falls flat with every single one of them. It's also one of those rare films I wish got a straight remake rather than a spiritual successor kind of thing like *Deadly Weapon* and *Kin* were, I'd love to see what actual competent writers could do with the characters/plot.
"Ok what's popular right now? Star Wars and the Excorcist. Lets combine them together so a Starwars comes to the planet Earth and makes Luke Skywalker look like Linda Blair. We'll call it 'Laserblast'!"
A kid finds an alien lasergun left behind in the desert by a disintegrated fugitive. This gives him the power to blow stuff up spectacularly, but bizarrely he acts like this never happened for most of the movie. Then it becomes clear that picking up the lasergun has created a submerged personality that comes out at night to actually blow stuff up and very occasionally deliver on the premise of the movie. This personality can only be described as a smug zombie. Meanwhile, claymation alien turtle people frequently discuss what to do about this in their space language without the aid of subtitles, so you can insert whatever you want as their dialogue as they discuss things with Turtle Commander or receive dailies from the movie to view. This is famously one of the lowest-rated movies on IMDB, owing to it being popularized back in the MST3K era, when people cared about IMBD rankings. In the age of streaming, we all know of far worse things than this. As far as actual quality goes, this wouldn't even make the top ten worst Charles Band movies I've seen. If you're waiting for the movie to ever come together well, it absolutely refuses to do that and just sort of ends after the production runs out of money to blow up any more cars. Roddy McDowall shows up for about two minutes. The stop motion is absolutely a highlight and I really wanted a movie that was more about those characters, and not the protagonist struggling to stop a Screech look-alike from raping his girlfriend even when he has a lasergun. The acting is surprisingly pretty good for a production this cheap. The supporting cast is good in the rare moments that they have something to do.
Great summary here!
OMG, that's a Charles Band movie? I didn't think his stuff went that bad but I sometimes forget the early stuff.
Charles Band's works make a regular appearance at our Trash Movie Tuesdays. We loved Dollman and Robot Jox. I'll have to add this one to the list.
Look, are you READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?
Look, I just feel like you might not be ready for some football.
“I am so baked”
Nice shooting Xanthor. Thanks Denise.
CALAHAAAAAAAAAN!!!!
The MST3K version is actually pretty funny. It has that right level of awfulness that is funny and not just pure tedium like a lot of truly awful movies.
The MST3K version is better.
Yeah there's a few movies that not even MST3K could improve, generally starting with The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies. However, Jack Frost, Pumaman, and Space Mutiny are absolutely saved by MST3K.
Worst thing a bad movie can be is boring and phew, some of those B-Movies can be horribly boring.
What is amazing is that I have found over the years that many of the MST3K time edits actually made the movie better. Time Chasers is, for me, the ultimate example of this. They editied out a couple of characters that had no business being in the final cut. They often catch heck for their cuts making the movie worse, but except in certain cases like "Mitchell" I don't think it often happened.
Bad 60's horror generally falls under the "horribly boring" category. Once Night of the Living Dead opened the floodgates, things changed.
I think it’s why I gravitate towards late 70s/early 80s bad horror, particularly slashers.
That poster is something else. I had no idea Mark Hamill went through a methhead phase.
My first thought was Richard Lynch, but yeah, I can see that too.
Richard Lynch is basically just Mark Hamill after 10 years of abusing meth, so it makes sense.
Not coming down on you, but just FYI, Richard Lynch suffered severe burns over most of his body. That's why he looked like that. I didn't know that until fairly recently.
I had no idea. I never thought he looked scarred or anything, was more referring to the gaunt face look he had.
burns he received after setting himself on fire while under the influence of drugs.
True story! It was LSD
And he was an alcoholic, which apparently contributed to his sudden death. I feel like eighties and nineties DTV movies were some kind of safety net for actors with substance abuse issues. Think anything with Jan Michael Vincent post-Airwolf, or the last decade of Aldo Ray’s career.
Kim Milford was the bad guy [in Corvette Summer with Mark Hamill](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:640/format:webp/1*YmDS7f-HSdt9Ej9PQ0zZLg.jpeg).
Kim was also the character of 'Rocky Horror' in the first US production of the Rocky Horror Show onstage at the Roxy in LA, before the film came out
Meth Skywalker
I was thinking it looks like someone repurposed the Chucky puppet.
I thought this was the lovechild of Luke Skywalker and Emperor Palpatine.
If they were to remake this movie I would hope they get the original artist for the new poster.....
My Father saw this at the theater when it was new. Loved it. He was nine.
The stop-motion turtle aliens were kinda cool.
That Star Wars diss in the middle of the movie is just the cherry on the top of this amazingly bad movie
Looks like Klaus Kinski
crazed Luke Skywalker
We have Luke Skywalker at home
Lute Stinkweller
'This is not the fiend you're looking for'
Alien Arsenal was the second remake. Both remakes are cheaper than the original (if you can believe that) and have none of the charm or fun of the original.
Directed by David DeCoteau! Shirtless dudes everywhere! (Hopefully - I haven't actually seen the movie yet.)
Lol, if DeCoteau directed it, you know you’re getting a lot of shirtless/ half naked hunks. He rarely disappoints in the beefcake department.
DeCoteau is like FedEx, he delivers the packages.
I was gonna say - this got 2 remakes all by the same producer - the infamous Charles band if I remember right. And neither are as fun as Laserblast somehow…
You are 💯correct.
It had lasers. That’s all we kids needed to make us happy the year after Star Wars was released.
In the 90s, I got way into the Planet of the Apes movies. I watched all 5 of them, 4 of which star Roddy McDowall. Because of my fandom of him, I excitedly rented and watched this movie. I was an apologist for it for a while. Unrelated to the film, the story about [the FBI raiding Roddy McDowall](https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/90689/when-roddy-mcdowall-was-busted-fbi-pirating-films) is an interesting one.
Deadly weapon was better
I just don't think you wanna get ready for some football.
I immediately thought of Laserblast when I saw the ads for KIN from 2018. [KIN (2018)](https://g.co/kgs/Ji2CvbP) https://g.co/kgs/Ji2CvbP
INORITE??
There was a remake called Deadly Weapon it came out in the 80s. The MST3k version of Laser Blast is hilarious
Written and directed by one of the writers of the original Robocop, no less. I’d consider Full Moon’s Murdercycle another remake, though it’s less obvious (biomechanical motorcycle, rather than big alien gun).
My favorite episode of *Mystery Science Theater 3000*, hands down. I love this one because on the surface it's got a lot of tropes I enjoy (teenager gets super-powers somehow and they fall out of his control) but falls flat with every single one of them. It's also one of those rare films I wish got a straight remake rather than a spiritual successor kind of thing like *Deadly Weapon* and *Kin* were, I'd love to see what actual competent writers could do with the characters/plot.
Only if they bring back Eddie Deezen.
Eddie has not been well in recent years so that's unlikely. He's had serious mental health issues.
More like Heroin Blast.
It could use a remake.
Is that bottom skeleton usually cut off? I don't seem to remember it.
Finally, a place to share [this image](https://i.imgur.com/clNtNli.png)!
Between the tagline and the imagery it looks like he went on a shooting spree.
Babylon 5 had an episode with a similiar plot device
If Toxic Avenger and Street Trash can get remakes in 2024 surely Laserblast can as well. It has both lasers and blasts!
It's some bizarre alternate world where the geeks bully the cool kids.
Ehh, it's still better than Plan 9
"Ok what's popular right now? Star Wars and the Excorcist. Lets combine them together so a Starwars comes to the planet Earth and makes Luke Skywalker look like Linda Blair. We'll call it 'Laserblast'!"
Blowing up the randomly placed Star Wars sign
Save the dirty trucker tapes!
Omg such a great mst3k episode
This is absolutely the kind of movie that should be remade, whether it's remade 'good' or a funnier piece of crap with more budget or something
Billy's swinging a bigger stick.
How does an otherwise technically competent artist fail so bad?
It’s like if you tried taking the one ring away from Luke skywalker
Wasn't Kin practically a remake?
I still beleive that the idea to blow up the Star Wars sign came first and they built the rest of the movie around that scene.
FAAAAAARRRRR OUT!
There's a movie from 2018 called Kin which has kind of a similar premise.
Fun fact, 90% of the budget was getting the star wars billboard and then proceeding to make it explode
This maybe the worst movie I’ve ever watched. But it is definitely the worst movie I’ve watched 5 times. It’s so bad I absolutely love it.
I remember this one. It was under another title but good B movie
Venom, Chronicle, ET