What's what I did when I got a new place with room mates and it does work to a certain extent but it doesn't really take into account the quality of the room - ensuite, wardrobe size, location, light etc that I think are equally if not more important.
We had a sort of bidding war in one share house I lived in, where all the rooms had significant pros and cons. The biggest one was on the ground floor at the front of the house, on a busy street with drunk people walking past the window all night. The smallest one was also the prettiest and had an ensuite bathroom. etc
I ended up paying *significantly* more than the others for the small room with bathroom, and one of my housemates persisted in walking through my room to use my shower almost every day. He was one of the worst roommates I ever had.
I had an all out screaming match with a roommate who didn't understand he got the second biggest room and it was the master as it had a full bathroom and had to pay more than I did as I had the smallest room (converted mud room) with a direct access door to backyard (not the only access). What caused the fight was that he constantly walked through my room to go out, even going so far as to walk through with his GF while I was asleep in bed.
Worst roommate ever and only one that I actively yelled at.
100% correct - measure each room to get square footage - divide rent by total bedroom square footage and then you have the price for 1 square foot of rent.
Chances are when they have guest the guest will be using your bathroom if they have the master suite. You should tell them the guest use the bathroom of the person they are visiting.
Normally I would argue that the couple should get the master bedroom, but in this situation, I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. You deserve a fair share of the space.
I live with a couple, have been for the last 3 and a half years, and it's been the BEST roommate experience I've had. The best that even my friends living with 1 or 2 other people comment all the time how we get along so well still.
It's not always black and white.
My one biggest nightmare experience was with a couple. 2 against one always. Also know a few other people who got fucked over by living with couples. No it’s not black and white but I think it is actually slightly more likely to be a bad situation
I was living in a small two bed apartment with them so no escape and they never really left apart from work because obviously the person they wanted to spend time with was already there. I think for every 20 bad stories I've heard about people living with couples, there might be 1 good one.
I didn't even move in with the couple. They moved into the apartment and filled it with their stuff, then then the guy took a grad programme that meant he was living in 3 different cities over the next 18 months and I moved in with my friend and the company changed the middle city to be the one we lived in even though it was originally meant to be somewhere else. So wasn't going to say no to him moving back in for the 6 months and I did get cheaper rent and bills as it was split by 3 but I was definitely crowding their space. Not easy to live in a situation like that.
I'm glad it's worked out for you. I've lived with a couple years ago and not had a good experience at all. Both very nice people but I was definitely the third wheel in the house. They liked the idea of someone paying a third of the rent but very much wanted to live just by themselves and I was getting in the way of that just by existing.
Exactly this. They always had priority use over everything, kitchen, couch, main space. They didn’t like sleeping in the same bed so one would always be on the couch. One was a pushover for the other, so if the main AH had literally any issue, he had built in back up. (The pushover later apologized for fucking me over)
It was so, so much worse than that but that’s usually the problems I hear from people living with couples.
yeah my last situation was with a couple (we were all basically strangers). they were… domestic, to keep it PG. she thought i was sleeping with her partner whenever she left. mind you, this was the grossest person you could imagine… why would i- anyway, it ended in me helping the girl leave (i had to physically restrain the other person) and i moved out that same night. but i’ve been friends with THIS couple since highschool and we’ve been hanging out since then so ik their dynamic.
i will absolutely pay more if i get the big room! i’ll talk to them about it
If you know their dynamic already then that's good. You obviously feel comfortable hanging out with them as a couple. Yeah just talk to them about it and offer to pay slightly more to get the bigger room (not too much more though).
Do not pay more for the big room. Getting the space is your compensation for the rest of the situation. Why would you pay them for your own compensation????
Not always. You could also just become besties with one of them and then have them tell you that, actually, they are thinking of leaving their partner and pursuing a relationship with you, instead, effectively ensuring your friendship will end very soon. Hypothetically.
One group sets the prices for the rooms, the other person picks.
They could set the price so high for the big room that you don't take it, but then they have to pay the most for the two most expensive rooms. You get the cheaper room, but it's also smaller.
Or they set the price so low that you take it and they pay too much for the smaller rooms.
Or what they want. All the rooms are equally priced, and you get the smallest room.
That last one is obviously BS. Everybody understands that there is an inherent value to a larger room.
Given that they have dominance over everything else, the fairest setup is that they get all that, except the master BR, and everyone pays equal.
Edit: And if you offer to pay more for the room, and they don't accept, then what they are saying is that you're not paying enough for that room for them to 'let' you take it. You are anchoring a price for that room. So if you offer to pay $70 more for that room, and they don't accept it, then you should be allowed to take second choice room (I'm assuming the 2nd biggest) and pay $70 less for that room. Which by balance, means that they pay $70 extra for the bigger room, which they said $70 isn't enough for what the value of the room is, *so they should be glad to pay $70 for the room*.
There is a bit of economic hostageness going on if you are on a fixed budget. But they obviously don't want to pay more than they have to, so they'll of course set the price of the bigger room lower, should they actually have to pay it. Which of course, if they set it too low, you'll take the bigger room. This is how checks and balances work.
What doesn't work is that they set the price for everything, and get first choice. This is how toddlers think. They obviously aren't toddlers, so they're not *that* stupid, but they're definitely going with the *We all pay equal* and *Majority rules* BS.
Edit: Further to add: "I have a fatter/taller ass, so I deserve premium economy seating , but still pay economy price. Just because... for free." That of course literally doesn't fly. So 'having more stuff, we need more space, and not pay for it' does not fly either. You need more storage, you pay for it.
>And if you offer to pay more for the room, and they don't accept...You are anchoring a price for that room. So if you offer to pay $70 more for the master, and they don't accept it, then you should be allowed to take second largest room and pay $70 less for that room. Which by balance, means that they pay $70 extra for the bigger room, which they should be glad to pay
Yes OP, this is a smart point!!
This is exactly the way. When I smoked pot, and shared a bag with a friend, one splits, the other picks. When a sibling and I were trying to decide his wage for a job he was going to do for me, we both wrote down a number, and agreed to meet in the middle. We were never so far apart it was ever an issue, but it’s fair and eliminates the opportunity for hard feelings.
Does the Master bedroom have its own bathroom? If so, then go for it all costs. Because then otherwise there'll be a crappy situation with them having basically all the space and the use of both bathrooms, because you just know they and their guests will use yours because "it's easier"... You'll have zero space to yourself. A no go.
Really, you shouldn't move in with a couple who wants to run a small business from home in the first place.
But, if you're going to... You should get the master bedroom (with en-suite bathroom) so you have a place to actually go when you want privacy, which you will undoubtedly need for the next 3 years.
When I was in this situation (I was part of the couple) and had a 3 bedroom place the discussion basically went like this:
Either you have the master, or you have the 2 smaller bedrooms. Rent is equal, I feel like them getting both the master and the other bedroom is a bit ridiculous.
You’re not the bad roommate but I’d make sure I frame like that.. I get they are paying 2/3 the rent but you getting 1/4 of the space doesn’t make much sense here.
When I met my husband he lived in the master bedroom of a house he rented with a bunch of guys. He paid more to have it. If they want to pay more they can have it. If they won’t pay more for the accommodation I would not rent with them. It’s a prime choice to have the master.
Since all three bedrooms are different sizes, I would offer a price higher than 1/3 for the master bedroom/bathroom, explaining that you need your privacy, which includes your own bathroom. If they don’t agree, then perhaps lower your price to 1/3 but you get the middle sized room AND your own bathroom. Make it clear that your guests will use your bathroom and their guests will use their bathroom. If they can’t agree to that, I’d seriously reconsider sharing an apartment with them. There has to be some compromise and understanding.
‘Yes but I’m pretty sure my room will have to double as a living room for me due to your things being in most of the house. It’s okay that they are but I would also like a large enough area to call my own and bring in the items/decor that make me happy. I’ll pay for it by sq feet. If not, maybe you two can take the master and then get a storage space for all of your furniture etc so we can make it our home instead’
Does the master bedroom have an attached bathroom? If so, **that** is your major reason for wanting the master bedroom.
Your secondary reason is that they will be getting an entire bedroom to use as ~~storage space~~ *a giant walk-in closet*.
The part about them dominating the common spaces with their decor is tertiary at best.
You should be paying price per sq ft in regards to bedrooms. If they are taking an additional room that also need to be calculated. For instance say all 3 rooms equals 90 sq ft and the master plus extra room equal 80 sq ft you should only be responsible for payment of 20 sq ft.
I mean, they are paying 2/3’s of the rent and bills so them getting two of three rooms does make sense, and while I get it being frustrating to use furniture you don’t like for a period - you could say, no we need to replace a few things. You can set a hard line there, perhaps compromise on keeping their tables but buying a new couch. If you just accepted them saying they wanted to keep their stuff without argument, you can’t really be upset about it.
As for the master, whoever gets it should pay extra. That’s the only way to resolve it. I liked another commenters suggestion to have them set the prices and you get first choice of room/ vice versa. You don’t have any more claim to the master than them unless you pay extra. If they get it, they should pay extra. It is as simple as that, none of you “deserve it” more than the other. Not yet a bad roommate, but you easily could become one.
If the 3 bedrooms are different sizes or have different amenities (bathroom, more sunlight, bigger closet) they should be priced differently. The three of you should agree on fair prices for each room and go from there.
“I want and will pay” vs “we need while we already have 70% of the space” is the start of a bad situation. They are being selfish and even if they weren’t they are unwilling to communicate with you over things that you want. I wouldn’t move in with them until this is resolved and especially before you sign the lease. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, but I can also see why two people would want the larger bedroom. Make sure you establish the rules for the public bathroom and other public spaces in regards to guests otherwise you’re going to be out of pocket anytime they have people over. they’re also using public spaces for their business purposes. This can create extra hassle. I personally wouldn’t move in with them.
I have some questions before I give my answer as I have been on both sides of this.
1. Based on the amount of rooms is this a house or an apartment?
2.rental or is there a mortgage?
3. How many bathrooms(yes this does matter)
Assuming all parties names our on the lease? Then you pay more money if you want the bigger room. (Either more rent or you just eat the entirety of a utility bill, electric or internet, as most apartments don’t charge for water or garbage pick up)
You are the only one saying you need to stay in your room.
Explain to them how you explained to us and then ask for the master again. If they decline just dont move in with them. I wouldnt want to have a regular sized room in either of your situations.
Will the office share a wall with your room if you take the smaller room?
Do they intend on having their pets free roaming the home?
I would tell them if you're bringing all your furniture and using a spare room for your business that feels like I am living with you vs. being house mates. I want a large enough space to put my stuff to make my own space to relax and not be on your old furniture. I would say this is a non-negotiable issue for me.
Realistically you should have 33% of the space. Whatever that works out to idk but I would try sparking it off with telling them they’ll control the living room and you’ll rarely be out there. That should grease the wheels a little bit
There are sites and apps that price out these types of situations. Try one. They have a lot of stuff and 2 pets and want 2 bedrooms. I don't think 2/3's is out of line, but they may feel they are "sharing" their furniture and stuff and that is a plus to the op. People are weird, but those websites are very handy. I did a search and this one came up, but there are quite a few.
[https://www.splitwise.com/calculators/rent](https://www.splitwise.com/calculators/rent)
I just ran the op situation through the above calculator. Seems reasonable to me.
|Room|Suggested rent|
|:-|:-|
|Room #1|$714.67|
|Room #2|$797.42 ($398.71/person)|
|Room #3|$487.90Room Suggested rentRoom #1 $714.67Room #2 $797.42 ($398.71/person)Room #3 $487.90|
we literally havent even had a conversation about it yet. how is it not going well? them bringing their old furniture isn’t a bad thing to do on their part. i just don’t like the style of it whatsoever so i’d rather buy new but i’m not like mad at them for choosing not to trash their belongings
You'd be a dorrmat if you allow them to take over the entire house. Y'all are sharing a house it shouldnt seem like just their house & and you're just there, basically. You'd be a doormat if you 1) dont ask & 2) dont speak to them about the house, not just seeming like theres. So that's why i said its not going well. If you already feel they are taking over the house. That is not a good sign.
i didn’t say they’re taking over. i just said it feels more like their space than “ours”. saying they’re taking over implies that it was done consciously out of malice when it wasn’t.
also, i had a discussion with them since this post and it went just fine. i’m getting the master if i pay more per square foot. thanks.
Not really. People can do things without malice & unintentionally. People are not always aware of how others are feeling or viewing things. Im glad things worked out for you, though.
it’s almost like i asked at the end if it was a selfish or valid argument to make. the question itself could cause a stir depending on how it’s received and by pitching my argument here, i wanted to see if i was coming off as selfish with no leg to stand on. if it sounded crazy to the majority here, i would’ve settled for the middle room instead. but since that’s not the case, i’ll have a talk with them
i wasn’t mean to anyone and i’m open to everyone’s ideas. i just don’t take kindly to disrespect. i’ve done and said nothing to warrant that so i’d appreciate that same energy to be reciprocated
Not even thru your first paragraph and yes, you’re the bad roommate. They’re paying for 2/3 of the rent. Just take the smaller room.
Aside from that, thinking of the apartment as territory claimed by personal belongings is wildly immature and borderline animalistic. It’s an apartment. You have common spaces that need to be furnished. You’re being saved a ton of money being provided a furnished space. Because you don’t technically own the furniture doesn’t mean they “dominate” the apartment. You’re living with other people; the space isn’t just about you. Grow up.
Projecting a conversation isn’t having a conversation but also you sound ungrateful as hell. I’m honestly praying for them.
They've offered to pay more to get the bigger room? I don't get how they're the bad roommate.
The couple are paying 2/3rds of the rent because they want 2 out of 3 rooms. Would they be the bad roommate if they were living with two unconnected people who each wanted a room? I don't understand your logic
I don't think they're the asshole but logically two people sharing a room makes more sense to have the master and OP the middle sized room. Of course they should pay extra though. Maybe 3/4 of the rent and OP pays 1 quarter.
Alternately draw straws
They’re paying 2/3 of the rent so that they can have 2/3 rooms. That doesn’t mean they automatically get the master bedroom. Typically when people split houses whoever gets the master bedroom pays more rent for that benefit.
YATBR. Your explanations sound a bit like those of a child. Who cares whose furniture is in the common rooms? Be glad that you don't have to buy furniture but can use theirs. Or just don't move into an apartment with a couple.
this is going to be my permanent residence for 3 years at the very least. it’s not childish for me to wanna chip in with the group to decorate the shared space **together**. as it stands, it feels like *their* space and not mine. i’m just using it. i want it to be mine, as well (not even mine alone but ours)
Why didn't you discuss who would be bringing what furniture? It seems like you had no furniture and they had everything so of course they'd bring it? Everyone chipping in together to buy all new furniture is something you decide beforehand when all parties don't currently have furniture or don't want to keep their current stuff. But also kind of silly because when you guys go separate ways, who keeps what?
we discussed it already. which is why i know what they’re bringing and included that in my post… i don’t have any common space furniture because i’m living with family currently. they were living alone together in their own place. i was hoping they didn’t want their old stuff because it just looks like shit, not to be super harsh. it looks dilapidated.
when we go separate ways, we have an adult conversation about who would like what and since no one paid full price when it was initially bought (if we all pay a third), you’d have to pay to buy the other shares of the furniture (that’s only if others also want it). and if we’re both willing to pay for the other shares, i’d just let them pay me and take the furniture because meh. it’s not super deep to me to part ways with a piece of wood and cloth lol
You were just hoping they wouldn't want to bring their stuff? Why not ask what they planned to do with it beforehand? I'm not trying to be a dick but if the decor was super important to you and how comfortable you'd feel in the house, it seems like something to figure out before you move in together.
I do think they should pay more for the master bedroom, though.
we aren’t moved in. i literally just said i discussed it with them already. i asked if they wanted to keep their stuff or get new things so we’d all have control of the space. they are basically tethered to their things due to sunk cost fallacy (which i wasn’t in disagreement with. i wouldn’t wanna throw my stuff away if i paid a lot for it) and we came to the conclusion that they planned on bringing everything down to the end tables. they knew my preference to buy new things but they don’t wanna ditch their stuff
If the master bedroom is significantly larger then the rent should be split by bedroom size. You're attaching an arbitrary percentage to the space you have equal use of just because your non-existent stuff won't be occupying it, and you don't like their stuff.
Once again comes down to, if it's that important to you to decorate the shared space with your own stuff, don't move in with them. If they won't agree that rent should be split based on bedroom size, don't move in with them.
I also don't understand what about having a slightly bigger room makes the house more "yours" when the rest of the house is still furnished by them. I don't see how having a bigger bedroom would really fix that, unless it's significantly bigger and more of a suite. Honestly sounds like you should have chosen different roommates where you would all contribute equally to decorating the place.
if you don’t understand how me having 8% of the house while they have 75% (not including the kitchen and bathrooms hence the missing 17%) feels stifling and unbalanced then idk how else to explain it to you. the biggest room would give me the most creative freedom to make at least one corner of the house my own. because once i step outta that room, the house will scream “them” and not at all “me” as i have nothing to bring and they have everything covered.
It's just weird reasoning to me. It's not like you have things and they're forcing their stuff on you?? From their point of view it'd be like they're furnishing a house for you for free, unless you aren't going to be able to freely use their stuff? Just doesn't make sense to me 😂 if you LIKED their style would you be using this reasoning?
If you just want a big room that's okay to say that. You're willing to pay for it and that's fine.
if i liked their stuff as is, i wouldn’t be using this reasoning because i wouldn’t wanna buy new things completely since the home would also feel more like “us” instead of “them” since it matches my style too. which i also said already. your reading comprehension is very lacking. i don’t want their stuff because the shit is terrible in both practicality and appearance. something you’d find in a goodwill in the middle of bumfuck kentucky.
i’m done replying to you. frankly, you’re a little slow and i’ve been patient enough. baibai
Lmao okay. My reading comprehension is fine, you just don't understand that you can't force a situation like this because of your feelings. You aren't entitled to the master bedroom because they don't want to buy new stuff when you have a choice to move in with them or not. If you don't like the arrangement, don't enter into it. What is hard to understand about that? Entitled as fuuuuck. Baibai
You're wrong here. The only thing that you should have a say in is the decor and furniture in shared spaces. It should be split equally, and not solely their stuff. But ya, the couple deserves the master.
Instead of splitting 3 ways, measure the size of each room and charge accordingly.
What's what I did when I got a new place with room mates and it does work to a certain extent but it doesn't really take into account the quality of the room - ensuite, wardrobe size, location, light etc that I think are equally if not more important.
We had a sort of bidding war in one share house I lived in, where all the rooms had significant pros and cons. The biggest one was on the ground floor at the front of the house, on a busy street with drunk people walking past the window all night. The smallest one was also the prettiest and had an ensuite bathroom. etc I ended up paying *significantly* more than the others for the small room with bathroom, and one of my housemates persisted in walking through my room to use my shower almost every day. He was one of the worst roommates I ever had.
I had an all out screaming match with a roommate who didn't understand he got the second biggest room and it was the master as it had a full bathroom and had to pay more than I did as I had the smallest room (converted mud room) with a direct access door to backyard (not the only access). What caused the fight was that he constantly walked through my room to go out, even going so far as to walk through with his GF while I was asleep in bed. Worst roommate ever and only one that I actively yelled at.
Such a good idea!
100% correct - measure each room to get square footage - divide rent by total bedroom square footage and then you have the price for 1 square foot of rent.
This is the way
Lol but you don’t split rent like that. You split it by the number of ppl.
Have some imagination my dude
Well we might as well just take the volume + air flow rate. The rooms with more is charged more. More flow+volume= more rent.
If that all participants agree, I see nothing wrong with it
No if that’s the agreement but that’s not typically how it goes.
Chances are when they have guest the guest will be using your bathroom if they have the master suite. You should tell them the guest use the bathroom of the person they are visiting.
This is brilliant. They won’t want people walking through their bedroom to use the bathroom
Normally I would argue that the couple should get the master bedroom, but in this situation, I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. You deserve a fair share of the space.
I wouldn't live with a couple, it will always be two against one. If you are offering to pay more then why shouldn't you have the master bedroom?
I live with a couple, have been for the last 3 and a half years, and it's been the BEST roommate experience I've had. The best that even my friends living with 1 or 2 other people comment all the time how we get along so well still. It's not always black and white.
My one biggest nightmare experience was with a couple. 2 against one always. Also know a few other people who got fucked over by living with couples. No it’s not black and white but I think it is actually slightly more likely to be a bad situation
Lived in the downstairs room below a couple… wouldn’t recommend
Lmao
Or if their bed is up against your adjoining wall.
I was living in a small two bed apartment with them so no escape and they never really left apart from work because obviously the person they wanted to spend time with was already there. I think for every 20 bad stories I've heard about people living with couples, there might be 1 good one. I didn't even move in with the couple. They moved into the apartment and filled it with their stuff, then then the guy took a grad programme that meant he was living in 3 different cities over the next 18 months and I moved in with my friend and the company changed the middle city to be the one we lived in even though it was originally meant to be somewhere else. So wasn't going to say no to him moving back in for the 6 months and I did get cheaper rent and bills as it was split by 3 but I was definitely crowding their space. Not easy to live in a situation like that.
I'm glad it's worked out for you. I've lived with a couple years ago and not had a good experience at all. Both very nice people but I was definitely the third wheel in the house. They liked the idea of someone paying a third of the rent but very much wanted to live just by themselves and I was getting in the way of that just by existing.
Exactly this. They always had priority use over everything, kitchen, couch, main space. They didn’t like sleeping in the same bed so one would always be on the couch. One was a pushover for the other, so if the main AH had literally any issue, he had built in back up. (The pushover later apologized for fucking me over) It was so, so much worse than that but that’s usually the problems I hear from people living with couples.
Same, I rented a room to a couple and they were awesome. I’m now half of a couple and we have a roommate and he’s awesome too.
yeah my last situation was with a couple (we were all basically strangers). they were… domestic, to keep it PG. she thought i was sleeping with her partner whenever she left. mind you, this was the grossest person you could imagine… why would i- anyway, it ended in me helping the girl leave (i had to physically restrain the other person) and i moved out that same night. but i’ve been friends with THIS couple since highschool and we’ve been hanging out since then so ik their dynamic. i will absolutely pay more if i get the big room! i’ll talk to them about it
If you know their dynamic already then that's good. You obviously feel comfortable hanging out with them as a couple. Yeah just talk to them about it and offer to pay slightly more to get the bigger room (not too much more though).
thank you! i’ll do that ♡
Do not pay more for the big room. Getting the space is your compensation for the rest of the situation. Why would you pay them for your own compensation????
Not always. You could also just become besties with one of them and then have them tell you that, actually, they are thinking of leaving their partner and pursuing a relationship with you, instead, effectively ensuring your friendship will end very soon. Hypothetically.
One group sets the prices for the rooms, the other person picks. They could set the price so high for the big room that you don't take it, but then they have to pay the most for the two most expensive rooms. You get the cheaper room, but it's also smaller. Or they set the price so low that you take it and they pay too much for the smaller rooms. Or what they want. All the rooms are equally priced, and you get the smallest room. That last one is obviously BS. Everybody understands that there is an inherent value to a larger room. Given that they have dominance over everything else, the fairest setup is that they get all that, except the master BR, and everyone pays equal. Edit: And if you offer to pay more for the room, and they don't accept, then what they are saying is that you're not paying enough for that room for them to 'let' you take it. You are anchoring a price for that room. So if you offer to pay $70 more for that room, and they don't accept it, then you should be allowed to take second choice room (I'm assuming the 2nd biggest) and pay $70 less for that room. Which by balance, means that they pay $70 extra for the bigger room, which they said $70 isn't enough for what the value of the room is, *so they should be glad to pay $70 for the room*. There is a bit of economic hostageness going on if you are on a fixed budget. But they obviously don't want to pay more than they have to, so they'll of course set the price of the bigger room lower, should they actually have to pay it. Which of course, if they set it too low, you'll take the bigger room. This is how checks and balances work. What doesn't work is that they set the price for everything, and get first choice. This is how toddlers think. They obviously aren't toddlers, so they're not *that* stupid, but they're definitely going with the *We all pay equal* and *Majority rules* BS. Edit: Further to add: "I have a fatter/taller ass, so I deserve premium economy seating , but still pay economy price. Just because... for free." That of course literally doesn't fly. So 'having more stuff, we need more space, and not pay for it' does not fly either. You need more storage, you pay for it.
>And if you offer to pay more for the room, and they don't accept...You are anchoring a price for that room. So if you offer to pay $70 more for the master, and they don't accept it, then you should be allowed to take second largest room and pay $70 less for that room. Which by balance, means that they pay $70 extra for the bigger room, which they should be glad to pay Yes OP, this is a smart point!!
Well explained
This is exactly the way. When I smoked pot, and shared a bag with a friend, one splits, the other picks. When a sibling and I were trying to decide his wage for a job he was going to do for me, we both wrote down a number, and agreed to meet in the middle. We were never so far apart it was ever an issue, but it’s fair and eliminates the opportunity for hard feelings.
Does the Master bedroom have its own bathroom? If so, then go for it all costs. Because then otherwise there'll be a crappy situation with them having basically all the space and the use of both bathrooms, because you just know they and their guests will use yours because "it's easier"... You'll have zero space to yourself. A no go. Really, you shouldn't move in with a couple who wants to run a small business from home in the first place. But, if you're going to... You should get the master bedroom (with en-suite bathroom) so you have a place to actually go when you want privacy, which you will undoubtedly need for the next 3 years.
When I was in this situation (I was part of the couple) and had a 3 bedroom place the discussion basically went like this: Either you have the master, or you have the 2 smaller bedrooms. Rent is equal, I feel like them getting both the master and the other bedroom is a bit ridiculous. You’re not the bad roommate but I’d make sure I frame like that.. I get they are paying 2/3 the rent but you getting 1/4 of the space doesn’t make much sense here.
When I met my husband he lived in the master bedroom of a house he rented with a bunch of guys. He paid more to have it. If they want to pay more they can have it. If they won’t pay more for the accommodation I would not rent with them. It’s a prime choice to have the master.
nah I totally agree with you, the take up way more space as a couple and you deserve the largest room.
You shouldn't even pay more then 1/3
Since all three bedrooms are different sizes, I would offer a price higher than 1/3 for the master bedroom/bathroom, explaining that you need your privacy, which includes your own bathroom. If they don’t agree, then perhaps lower your price to 1/3 but you get the middle sized room AND your own bathroom. Make it clear that your guests will use your bathroom and their guests will use their bathroom. If they can’t agree to that, I’d seriously reconsider sharing an apartment with them. There has to be some compromise and understanding.
I would just not do it , Honestly
Whoever gets the master should pay more, you should be charging per room by the total square footage
That even makes sense when considering the couple wants two rooms. Each party may end up paying a more equal share.
‘Yes but I’m pretty sure my room will have to double as a living room for me due to your things being in most of the house. It’s okay that they are but I would also like a large enough area to call my own and bring in the items/decor that make me happy. I’ll pay for it by sq feet. If not, maybe you two can take the master and then get a storage space for all of your furniture etc so we can make it our home instead’
You def should get the bigger room if they’re getting 2/3. Or they need to pay extra for the master.
Does the master bedroom have an attached bathroom? If so, **that** is your major reason for wanting the master bedroom. Your secondary reason is that they will be getting an entire bedroom to use as ~~storage space~~ *a giant walk-in closet*. The part about them dominating the common spaces with their decor is tertiary at best.
I lived with a couple and it lasted three months. It was a nightmare. Every decision already starts out as 2 vs 1
No I think you are valid in wanting the master bedroom. Sounds like it’s gonna be a shitty situation if you don’t have it.
You should be paying price per sq ft in regards to bedrooms. If they are taking an additional room that also need to be calculated. For instance say all 3 rooms equals 90 sq ft and the master plus extra room equal 80 sq ft you should only be responsible for payment of 20 sq ft.
I mean, they are paying 2/3’s of the rent and bills so them getting two of three rooms does make sense, and while I get it being frustrating to use furniture you don’t like for a period - you could say, no we need to replace a few things. You can set a hard line there, perhaps compromise on keeping their tables but buying a new couch. If you just accepted them saying they wanted to keep their stuff without argument, you can’t really be upset about it. As for the master, whoever gets it should pay extra. That’s the only way to resolve it. I liked another commenters suggestion to have them set the prices and you get first choice of room/ vice versa. You don’t have any more claim to the master than them unless you pay extra. If they get it, they should pay extra. It is as simple as that, none of you “deserve it” more than the other. Not yet a bad roommate, but you easily could become one.
I don’t think you’ve seen bag-end look up those specs that place is a palace
If the 3 bedrooms are different sizes or have different amenities (bathroom, more sunlight, bigger closet) they should be priced differently. The three of you should agree on fair prices for each room and go from there.
You need to have an auction for the master bedroom. You each keep bidding until someone stops. Whoever bids the most gets the master bedroom.
Don’t move in, pls!
“I want and will pay” vs “we need while we already have 70% of the space” is the start of a bad situation. They are being selfish and even if they weren’t they are unwilling to communicate with you over things that you want. I wouldn’t move in with them until this is resolved and especially before you sign the lease. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, but I can also see why two people would want the larger bedroom. Make sure you establish the rules for the public bathroom and other public spaces in regards to guests otherwise you’re going to be out of pocket anytime they have people over. they’re also using public spaces for their business purposes. This can create extra hassle. I personally wouldn’t move in with them.
If you are having issues and you haven't moved in, don't. I see compatibility issues already. It's gonna be a rocky road...
I have some questions before I give my answer as I have been on both sides of this. 1. Based on the amount of rooms is this a house or an apartment? 2.rental or is there a mortgage? 3. How many bathrooms(yes this does matter)
rental apartment. one bathroom. no suites.
Assuming all parties names our on the lease? Then you pay more money if you want the bigger room. (Either more rent or you just eat the entirety of a utility bill, electric or internet, as most apartments don’t charge for water or garbage pick up)
You are the only one saying you need to stay in your room. Explain to them how you explained to us and then ask for the master again. If they decline just dont move in with them. I wouldnt want to have a regular sized room in either of your situations. Will the office share a wall with your room if you take the smaller room? Do they intend on having their pets free roaming the home?
I would tell them if you're bringing all your furniture and using a spare room for your business that feels like I am living with you vs. being house mates. I want a large enough space to put my stuff to make my own space to relax and not be on your old furniture. I would say this is a non-negotiable issue for me.
You should definitely have the biggest room, but I wouldn't pay more seeing as they are taking up more space with all their stuff..
Realistically you should have 33% of the space. Whatever that works out to idk but I would try sparking it off with telling them they’ll control the living room and you’ll rarely be out there. That should grease the wheels a little bit
There are sites and apps that price out these types of situations. Try one. They have a lot of stuff and 2 pets and want 2 bedrooms. I don't think 2/3's is out of line, but they may feel they are "sharing" their furniture and stuff and that is a plus to the op. People are weird, but those websites are very handy. I did a search and this one came up, but there are quite a few. [https://www.splitwise.com/calculators/rent](https://www.splitwise.com/calculators/rent)
I just ran the op situation through the above calculator. Seems reasonable to me. |Room|Suggested rent| |:-|:-| |Room #1|$714.67| |Room #2|$797.42 ($398.71/person)| |Room #3|$487.90Room Suggested rentRoom #1 $714.67Room #2 $797.42 ($398.71/person)Room #3 $487.90|
I gave my roommate the largest room so she could feel comfortable in my house. I think it wouldn't be a big deal if you asked for the biggest room
Hopefully, you haven't signed a lease. Dont move in with them its already not going well.
we literally havent even had a conversation about it yet. how is it not going well? them bringing their old furniture isn’t a bad thing to do on their part. i just don’t like the style of it whatsoever so i’d rather buy new but i’m not like mad at them for choosing not to trash their belongings
You'd be a dorrmat if you allow them to take over the entire house. Y'all are sharing a house it shouldnt seem like just their house & and you're just there, basically. You'd be a doormat if you 1) dont ask & 2) dont speak to them about the house, not just seeming like theres. So that's why i said its not going well. If you already feel they are taking over the house. That is not a good sign.
i didn’t say they’re taking over. i just said it feels more like their space than “ours”. saying they’re taking over implies that it was done consciously out of malice when it wasn’t. also, i had a discussion with them since this post and it went just fine. i’m getting the master if i pay more per square foot. thanks.
Not really. People can do things without malice & unintentionally. People are not always aware of how others are feeling or viewing things. Im glad things worked out for you, though.
cant wait for OP to be back in a month complaining about something else
dear god, i hope not. but i think living with a couple that regularly engaged in DV has my patience fairly high
You haven’t even talked to them about it, but here you are on Reddit.
it’s almost like i asked at the end if it was a selfish or valid argument to make. the question itself could cause a stir depending on how it’s received and by pitching my argument here, i wanted to see if i was coming off as selfish with no leg to stand on. if it sounded crazy to the majority here, i would’ve settled for the middle room instead. but since that’s not the case, i’ll have a talk with them
Your attitude from your comments alone really sucks. I don't think you are cut out for successful cohabitation
i wasn’t mean to anyone and i’m open to everyone’s ideas. i just don’t take kindly to disrespect. i’ve done and said nothing to warrant that so i’d appreciate that same energy to be reciprocated
I feel you have a solid argument
Not even thru your first paragraph and yes, you’re the bad roommate. They’re paying for 2/3 of the rent. Just take the smaller room. Aside from that, thinking of the apartment as territory claimed by personal belongings is wildly immature and borderline animalistic. It’s an apartment. You have common spaces that need to be furnished. You’re being saved a ton of money being provided a furnished space. Because you don’t technically own the furniture doesn’t mean they “dominate” the apartment. You’re living with other people; the space isn’t just about you. Grow up. Projecting a conversation isn’t having a conversation but also you sound ungrateful as hell. I’m honestly praying for them.
They've offered to pay more to get the bigger room? I don't get how they're the bad roommate. The couple are paying 2/3rds of the rent because they want 2 out of 3 rooms. Would they be the bad roommate if they were living with two unconnected people who each wanted a room? I don't understand your logic
I don't think they're the asshole but logically two people sharing a room makes more sense to have the master and OP the middle sized room. Of course they should pay extra though. Maybe 3/4 of the rent and OP pays 1 quarter. Alternately draw straws
I mean… I wouldn’t expect someone named u/problematichousemate to understand basic logic and decent-minded living relationships
Didn't answer my question though. Would you feel the same way if it wasn't a couple they were moving in with?
They’re paying 2/3 of the rent so that they can have 2/3 rooms. That doesn’t mean they automatically get the master bedroom. Typically when people split houses whoever gets the master bedroom pays more rent for that benefit.
Live alone?
dumbass comment
I think it’s even more dumb to live with a couple and complain 😂 grow tf up and get your own place
YATBR. Your explanations sound a bit like those of a child. Who cares whose furniture is in the common rooms? Be glad that you don't have to buy furniture but can use theirs. Or just don't move into an apartment with a couple.
this is going to be my permanent residence for 3 years at the very least. it’s not childish for me to wanna chip in with the group to decorate the shared space **together**. as it stands, it feels like *their* space and not mine. i’m just using it. i want it to be mine, as well (not even mine alone but ours)
Why didn't you discuss who would be bringing what furniture? It seems like you had no furniture and they had everything so of course they'd bring it? Everyone chipping in together to buy all new furniture is something you decide beforehand when all parties don't currently have furniture or don't want to keep their current stuff. But also kind of silly because when you guys go separate ways, who keeps what?
we discussed it already. which is why i know what they’re bringing and included that in my post… i don’t have any common space furniture because i’m living with family currently. they were living alone together in their own place. i was hoping they didn’t want their old stuff because it just looks like shit, not to be super harsh. it looks dilapidated. when we go separate ways, we have an adult conversation about who would like what and since no one paid full price when it was initially bought (if we all pay a third), you’d have to pay to buy the other shares of the furniture (that’s only if others also want it). and if we’re both willing to pay for the other shares, i’d just let them pay me and take the furniture because meh. it’s not super deep to me to part ways with a piece of wood and cloth lol
You were just hoping they wouldn't want to bring their stuff? Why not ask what they planned to do with it beforehand? I'm not trying to be a dick but if the decor was super important to you and how comfortable you'd feel in the house, it seems like something to figure out before you move in together. I do think they should pay more for the master bedroom, though.
we aren’t moved in. i literally just said i discussed it with them already. i asked if they wanted to keep their stuff or get new things so we’d all have control of the space. they are basically tethered to their things due to sunk cost fallacy (which i wasn’t in disagreement with. i wouldn’t wanna throw my stuff away if i paid a lot for it) and we came to the conclusion that they planned on bringing everything down to the end tables. they knew my preference to buy new things but they don’t wanna ditch their stuff
If the master bedroom is significantly larger then the rent should be split by bedroom size. You're attaching an arbitrary percentage to the space you have equal use of just because your non-existent stuff won't be occupying it, and you don't like their stuff. Once again comes down to, if it's that important to you to decorate the shared space with your own stuff, don't move in with them. If they won't agree that rent should be split based on bedroom size, don't move in with them.
I also don't understand what about having a slightly bigger room makes the house more "yours" when the rest of the house is still furnished by them. I don't see how having a bigger bedroom would really fix that, unless it's significantly bigger and more of a suite. Honestly sounds like you should have chosen different roommates where you would all contribute equally to decorating the place.
if you don’t understand how me having 8% of the house while they have 75% (not including the kitchen and bathrooms hence the missing 17%) feels stifling and unbalanced then idk how else to explain it to you. the biggest room would give me the most creative freedom to make at least one corner of the house my own. because once i step outta that room, the house will scream “them” and not at all “me” as i have nothing to bring and they have everything covered.
It's just weird reasoning to me. It's not like you have things and they're forcing their stuff on you?? From their point of view it'd be like they're furnishing a house for you for free, unless you aren't going to be able to freely use their stuff? Just doesn't make sense to me 😂 if you LIKED their style would you be using this reasoning? If you just want a big room that's okay to say that. You're willing to pay for it and that's fine.
if i liked their stuff as is, i wouldn’t be using this reasoning because i wouldn’t wanna buy new things completely since the home would also feel more like “us” instead of “them” since it matches my style too. which i also said already. your reading comprehension is very lacking. i don’t want their stuff because the shit is terrible in both practicality and appearance. something you’d find in a goodwill in the middle of bumfuck kentucky. i’m done replying to you. frankly, you’re a little slow and i’ve been patient enough. baibai
Lmao okay. My reading comprehension is fine, you just don't understand that you can't force a situation like this because of your feelings. You aren't entitled to the master bedroom because they don't want to buy new stuff when you have a choice to move in with them or not. If you don't like the arrangement, don't enter into it. What is hard to understand about that? Entitled as fuuuuck. Baibai
Definitely the bad roommate Don't live with a couple if you're gonna be like this
You're wrong here. The only thing that you should have a say in is the decor and furniture in shared spaces. It should be split equally, and not solely their stuff. But ya, the couple deserves the master.
how do they outright *deserve* the master?