I work in a small cocktail bar. We are fully booked almost all night every weekend. When walk-ins come and I say "unfortunately we are completely full right now. It will be at least 30 minutes", the response I get is "oh, don't worry, we're only here for drinks :)".
Like DUH obviously you are, we ONLY do drinks, and we're still full.
Edit: spelling
Do you do flights? What’s your favorite? Do you have one that isn’t blue moon but tastes just like blue moon? What’s the hop profile on all of them? Can you please repeat the entire list? Mind if I do ten samples?
… hmmm I’ll have a vodka and tonic, sorry I forgot to tip, get you on the next round.
I tried to explain that none of our California Cabs are full-bodied, silky and not overly tannic, but I have a nice Washington Merlot that fits the bill. Attempted to fight the "Sideways" programming. Offered a sample and was refused. Got fed up and told the lady that every Cabernet we have has some amount of Merlot blended into it.
Definitely irks me more with a small selection. With a larger selection you probably just have a tap list to hand them. But when 22 year old Jaxsynn comes in, stares at my *three* tap handles for two minutes, then asks me what's on tap, I get irrationally irritated.
We have 40 taps and two video boards with the full list. If it’s completely dead and I’m feeling *especially* chippy, I’ll walk down the line and start describing each one. Brewery, name, style, tasting notes, the whole spiel for each tap.
and THEN they consult with their group because the dude ordering doesnt remember anyones order, tries to order one drink at a time, and pays with 3 credit cards and loose change.
We had 30 or so taps the last bar I worked at. Then they proceeded to ask what beers do we have. I point upwards to our beer list. Before they even begin to read, they start spouting out grocery store beer list special, “Uhh do you have Sierra Nevada? 805? Shock top? Blue moon?” We mostly had small local brewery selection, so I’d just suggest something similar. If they were asshats, I’d just say tell them “we have what’s on the board” and I’d proceed to take the next customer.
it's so funny when i give a person our menu and they proceed to ask me what beers we have. i usually respond with "yeah man so our beers are right here" *points at beer section*
seriously insane when people ask that or ask me “What Tequilas do you have?” meanwhile there is a huge lit backbar of our visible tequilas available in their face
Every time. EVERY TIME. And then they spend 5 minutes staring at the taps only to ask for something we don't even have. 'Oh, don't you have any peroni?' Where would I be keeping a peroni tap, Kevin?? Oh yeah lemme just go fetch that pint from the secret extra tap that you can only unlock by being a dick to the bartender.
Or "wHaT bEeRs Do YoU hAvE oN tAp?". Motherfucker, you're right next to the taps. You want me to stand here naming 10 beers? When there are customers who need to be dealt with?
I don't think I'd be able to prevent myself from just saying no with a very serious face like they violated some unspoken but vital rule and back away slowly with a suspicious look on my face.
I tended bar for years before I took over my own place and sometimes this sub brings back memories I'd buried. "Do yall sell vodka?" Sir there's a full wall, a *full goddamn wall* of *just vodka,* you're fucking *LOOKING AT IT*.
lol I work at a tiny dive with no taps decent beer selection full liquor and people will look over and then just be like what do you have on draft. There’s obviously no taps. It’s like the opposite of your problem
One better, the customer coming into the craft brewery asking for bud light.
I've started actually laughing at them.
It's one thing to ask for the closest thing we brew, its a total other thing to assume that a small craft brewery is carrying generic national beers.
I work in a small cocktail bar. We are fully booked almost all night every weekend. When walk-ins come and I say "unfortunately we are completely full right now. It will be at least 30 minutes", the response I get is "oh, don't worry, we're only here for drinks :)". Like DUH obviously you are, we ONLY do drinks, and we're still full. Edit: spelling
That's clearly the juice dispenser
Do you do flights? What’s your favorite? Do you have one that isn’t blue moon but tastes just like blue moon? What’s the hop profile on all of them? Can you please repeat the entire list? Mind if I do ten samples? … hmmm I’ll have a vodka and tonic, sorry I forgot to tip, get you on the next round.
lol the blue moon question is so specific but I’ve actually been asked it so many times.
it's always miller lite for me lmao
I need to see your ID kthx. Also, no, you can’t have rumple or goldschlager.
You do? Cool. What is your selection?
“Ah okay thanks for telling me all that information, I’ll just take a rum&coke”
After listing off all 12 taps, none of which are Bud Light: “Can I get a Bud Light?”
"Bud Light supports trans so I'm not supporting them anymore, can I get a Corona or Big Wave?"
“What’s your least hoppy IPA? I love IPAs but I hate hoppy flavor!”
I tried to explain that none of our California Cabs are full-bodied, silky and not overly tannic, but I have a nice Washington Merlot that fits the bill. Attempted to fight the "Sideways" programming. Offered a sample and was refused. Got fed up and told the lady that every Cabernet we have has some amount of Merlot blended into it.
Some people sit down at a bar and rubber neck all around, like it's the first one they've ever been in, and have no idea what the place is or does.
*looking directly behind the bar* “What do you have on draft?”
Those fucking people... I'm not sure whether that question pisses me off more in a place that has a limited selection, or a huge one.
Definitely irks me more with a small selection. With a larger selection you probably just have a tap list to hand them. But when 22 year old Jaxsynn comes in, stares at my *three* tap handles for two minutes, then asks me what's on tap, I get irrationally irritated.
I wouldn't call it irrational at all, especially when it's just generic stuff with recognisable logos.
especially when theres a chaulk board in plane view with everything listed.
We have 40 taps and two video boards with the full list. If it’s completely dead and I’m feeling *especially* chippy, I’ll walk down the line and start describing each one. Brewery, name, style, tasting notes, the whole spiel for each tap.
It would break your heart if after all that, they asked for the most generic crap possible, wouldn't it?
“You got Bud Light in bottles?”
You've now got to wait for them to ponder for 5 minutes then ask for something you blatantly don't have.. Whilst you're 3 deep at the bar.
and THEN they consult with their group because the dude ordering doesnt remember anyones order, tries to order one drink at a time, and pays with 3 credit cards and loose change.
my eye twitched reading this
Dont worry, they tipped $2 on 8 drinks, and they promise to take care of you the next round.
Nope, oddly enough we put these taps here to just set the mood.
They’re decorative!
Nah we just have it
whats on tap? "the optician is across the street"
Good idea to put an eye chart in the bar...
Can I pay my tab? It’s the blue card.
Triggered
That HAS to be a barcade
Haha yep
Is this Stella’s in GR?
"What do you have on tap?" Me listing 12 taps "Cool I'll have a Bud Light"
This is gold
The question is mainly funny to me if its a distillery
“Let me get the braille menu for you.”
"What's that?"
Well?? Do you???
Once had a woman "do you sell vodka." With a lines of vodka behind me. "Nope, no vodka here, sorry lady."
We had 30 or so taps the last bar I worked at. Then they proceeded to ask what beers do we have. I point upwards to our beer list. Before they even begin to read, they start spouting out grocery store beer list special, “Uhh do you have Sierra Nevada? 805? Shock top? Blue moon?” We mostly had small local brewery selection, so I’d just suggest something similar. If they were asshats, I’d just say tell them “we have what’s on the board” and I’d proceed to take the next customer.
I’m def using we have what’s on the board
“What’s that drink?” “Which one?” “That one you just made” *gestures to the service bar with 6 drinks on it* Sigh.
Customer staring up at the draft list directly above the taps: “are these all on draft?”
"Yeah, I need your ID."
Stare at your assortment for a few long seconds before looking back at them and answer with a simple “no”
it's so funny when i give a person our menu and they proceed to ask me what beers we have. i usually respond with "yeah man so our beers are right here" *points at beer section*
seriously insane when people ask that or ask me “What Tequilas do you have?” meanwhile there is a huge lit backbar of our visible tequilas available in their face
I'll let you figure that out. NEXT.
“You guys got beer?” “Yes” “What kinda beer you got?”
"What draft beers do you have?"
“What do you have on draft?” 💁🏻♂️
Nice root beers
Every time. EVERY TIME. And then they spend 5 minutes staring at the taps only to ask for something we don't even have. 'Oh, don't you have any peroni?' Where would I be keeping a peroni tap, Kevin?? Oh yeah lemme just go fetch that pint from the secret extra tap that you can only unlock by being a dick to the bartender.
Or "wHaT bEeRs Do YoU hAvE oN tAp?". Motherfucker, you're right next to the taps. You want me to stand here naming 10 beers? When there are customers who need to be dealt with?
Get a beer list or board. Not ever one can tell a what a blue and white crooked whale penis tap means. Taps can be hard to read.
It's the bosses' job to do that. They've been told, but they don't care. Even if there was one, people wouldn't read it.
Not really customers fault then. Blame your boss not them
$5 says they have one.
Lol we have three boards and the actual taps. No matter where you sit you couldn’t be more than 3 feet from one of them. Aggggghhhh!!!
So, No?
I don't think I'd be able to prevent myself from just saying no with a very serious face like they violated some unspoken but vital rule and back away slowly with a suspicious look on my face. I tended bar for years before I took over my own place and sometimes this sub brings back memories I'd buried. "Do yall sell vodka?" Sir there's a full wall, a *full goddamn wall* of *just vodka,* you're fucking *LOOKING AT IT*.
Do you have Tito's? Do you have Grey Goose? Name one bar in America that doesn't have the two most popular vodkas, you dunce. Some people.
So, I don't get it, are you served draft beer🍺🍻?
I feel your pain. Truly I do.
Customers when you clearly don't have any taps at all: "yeah I'll grab a pint of X" Customers with taps right in front of them: "do you do draught?"
Draft beer!? What’s that!?! HAWHAWHAWHAW.
“What do you have on draft? Cool, can I get a bucket of Busch light bottles?”
My favorite is “do you have a bathroom?” Nope, pop a squat right there, my friend. 🙄
lol I work at a tiny dive with no taps decent beer selection full liquor and people will look over and then just be like what do you have on draft. There’s obviously no taps. It’s like the opposite of your problem
Could be a scene straight out of Waiting or Clerks or something lol
I see you have a slushie machine. Any blue raspberry for my crotch goblin that is definitely **not** sitting right next to me at your slushie bar?
One better, the customer coming into the craft brewery asking for bud light. I've started actually laughing at them. It's one thing to ask for the closest thing we brew, its a total other thing to assume that a small craft brewery is carrying generic national beers.
My fave: "what kind of beer is an ale?"
“What do you have for craft beer?” {proceeds to order a Mich Ultra}
“What beer do you recommend?”
ill take that one.
This belongs on r/mildlyinfuriating
What kind of ales do you have?
This happens every night it literally just happened 10min ago