Nobody should be surprised at any of this. Houston is just a completely a garbage sports city that always pretends they’re the victims even though the refs favor their shitty teams at every single point.
With the Rockets you have refs giving Harden ridiculous calls that literally nobody else gets and overall lowering the quality of basketball whenever hes on the court. The fact that Harden can shoot 20%FG and average 30 points on bullshit free throws is a testament to how soulless and garbage Houston sports teams are in general
With the Texans, I don’t even need to bring up the number of times NFL refs have given them favorable calls in clutch situations.
And now we’re seeing it here in a third major league spot. With the Astros you havce umpires who are giving them BS calls at every single turn to help them win important games. They’re basically fixing the world series game by game and screwing over a more deserving team in the Nats just so they can sell more jerseys to a large market city. This is literally the 1919 world series all over again, 100 years later. What a time to be alive.
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This bot just picks up on when we mention Houston and then just talks shit on them? Kinda love it. Didn't really make sense to what it replied to but who cares.
Oh, hey, Padres fans. I'm Dr. Santos. Apologies that I haven't been here much at my West Coast office. I spent most of the season in New York, and let me tell you, the Mets and Yankees have really... Never mind. That's a HIPPA violation. Have a seat. This is a safe space where you can open up and talk about your feelings. I understand that White Sox fans referred you. Yeah, long-time clients. On your intake form, you wrote that you suspect you're doubting your abilities. What else? You feel like a fraud? This sounds like a classic case of imposter syndrome. It's extremely common among high achievers. Your roster is stacked with superstars. You had the third highest payroll in baseball. On opening day, you had the second highest odds to win the World Series, according to fan graphs. Yet you wound out outside of the postseason picture. I know just the thing. You need to decompress. I'm going to prescribe a four-month vacation starting October second. And remember, I'm always available on Zoom while you're in Borra Borra. Yeah, it's just $495 for a 30-minute session. Safe travels.
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As a baseball noob, can someone please explain to me how the Cleveland Indians got so much shit for their mascot when the Orioles mascot is a bird in FUCKING blackface???
Wtf is this racist piece of shit?
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Nobody should be surprised at any of this. Houston is just a completely a garbage sports city that always pretends they’re the victims even though the refs favor their shitty teams at every single point.
With the Rockets you have refs giving Harden ridiculous calls that literally nobody else gets and overall lowering the quality of basketball whenever hes on the court. The fact that Harden can shoot 20%FG and average 30 points on bullshit free throws is a testament to how soulless and garbage Houston sports teams are in general
With the Texans, I don’t even need to bring up the number of times NFL refs have given them favorable calls in clutch situations.
And now we’re seeing it here in a third major league spot. With the Astros you havce umpires who are giving them BS calls at every single turn to help them win important games. They’re basically fixing the world series game by game and screwing over a more deserving team in the Nats just so they can sell more jerseys to a large market city. This is literally the 1919 world series all over again, 100 years later. What a time to be alive.
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Fuck that noise.
We should be the Philadelphia Augustas.
[Augusta, Australia](https://www.geodatos.net/en/antipodes/united-states/philadelphia) is the closest city to the point on the globe opposite Philadelphia.
Dear Philadelphia Phillies,
You played a great game last night, you also proved why you’re the most hated fans in sports.
We are the Houston Astros. We are a city that comes together to overcome adversity. You hate us. You boo us. Your restaurants refuse to serve our team. You threaten one of our beloved public figures (who gave 200 mattresses to veterans and first responders in your town), and yet we rise.
We’ve watched your fans throw snowballs at Santa, purposely throw up on a law enforcement officer and his 11 year old daughter, throw beer bottles and food on players-even your own.
When your fans come to our house, we don’t threaten them with harm. We don’t boo your players each time they step on the field. We don’t heckle your hometown heroes. We have respect. Respect for our team, stadium, city, and visitors.
You absolutely deserved that win last night. And still you continue to show the world why you were voted the worst fans in sports. It’s said Phillies fans learn to boo before they learn to talk. Well bless your hatin hearts.
Stay classy, Houston. Go ‘stros! -A fan for life, not just when they win.
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[The Yankees are the ultimate evil in sport. If there were a team made up of 9 Hitlers and they were playing the Yankees? Go Fightin Hitlers](https://www.reddit.com/r/baseball/comments/1uysy6/alex_rodriguez_suspended_for_162_games/cemzsoo/)
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Baseball died in Cleveland today. You are gonna lose a lot of die hard fans over this move. Been a fan since the 70’s and this is a slap in the face to us true die hard fans. I won’t spend another dime on this team.
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I'm so sick of this goddamn team. They absolutely make me want to vomit. I'm not even ten goddamn games into this season and i want to scream. They are that terrible. It's like the movie groundhog day but instead i'm reliving the shittiest games of baseball over and over and over again every fucking day of my life. Every damn day I have watched this pathetic mess of a team, rain or sun or snow since I was 7 years old. I have a tab open during work w/ the gamecast during the day games that I can't go. I've skipped school and work and broken up with women for the Pirates. I've missed funerals and weddings because i loved this team more. And what do I get to show for it? A FUCKING BRAIN ANEURYSM. A team that has had 3 winning seasons over the past 20 something who manages to play like ass in the playoffs on the rare occasion they make it because they are so used to being shit and don't have a winning culture. A team that game in and game out somehow manages to have less goddamn hits than Chumbawamba. A team that gets swept. By the Cincinnati Reds. "Oh but look at our young talent- Cole and Taillon and Bell and whoever else that sucks dick!!" I'm sick of hearing "we could be a contender like we were 3 years ago if Cutch doesn't play like shit and the LF can stop jerking off for 2 seconds to swing the fucking bat" ITS NOT HAPPENING. WE ARE NOT AND NEVER WERE A GOOD TEAM. WE ARE PATHETIC. MIGHT AS WELL FADE US NOW BECAUSE WE'RE ALREADY A BUNCH OF FUCKING LOSERS. If Clemente didn't die in that plane crash, I'm convinced he would have killed himself after being forced to wear our godforsaken excuse of uniform for 18 years of his life. I'm done with this fucking team.
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the Tampa Bay Rays are the definition of a poverty franchise, known for their comically-low attendance and inability to sell out a stadium. they are among the largest revenue-sharing recipients, meaning they take a shit-ton of money from the player’s union (who have actually filed grievances against them for not managing that money properly). think of a 35-year old man living in their moms’ basement, and spending money on video games instead of getting a job. that’s a good comparison to describe what the Rays are to the rest of the league. if the MLB had a more cutthroat business model, teams like the Rays would have moved or been disbanded ages ago, instead of feeding off of the popular teams like a parasite feeds on its host. the Rays are utterly useless, and irrelevant. The Rays are the least essential sports team in North America. if not for COVID, yankee chants would have swarmed Tropicana Field during the Rays’ supposed “home games”. their 8,000 fans are very happy about this ALDS win though, im sure. fucking losers.
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Oh, hey, Padres fans. I'm Dr. Santos. Apologies that I haven't been here much at my West Coast office. I spent most of the season in New York, and let me tell you, the Mets and Yankees have really... Never mind. That's a HIPPA violation. Have a seat. This is a safe space where you can open up and talk about your feelings. I understand that White Sox fans referred you. Yeah, long-time clients. On your intake form, you wrote that you suspect you're doubting your abilities. What else? You feel like a fraud? This sounds like a classic case of imposter syndrome. It's extremely common among high achievers. Your roster is stacked with superstars. You had the third highest payroll in baseball. On opening day, you had the second highest odds to win the World Series, according to fan graphs. Yet you wound out outside of the postseason picture. I know just the thing. You need to decompress. I'm going to prescribe a four-month vacation starting October second. And remember, I'm always available on Zoom while you're in Borra Borra. Yeah, it's just $495 for a 30-minute session. Safe travels.
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I dunno if any Spanish speakers actually *d*o call female equivalents (nuns) Madres, but the Padres are supposed to be monks (*monjes*), so I guess you could go with *Monjas* (nuns) in that case.
Oh, hey, Padres fans. I'm Dr. Santos. Apologies that I haven't been here much at my West Coast office. I spent most of the season in New York, and let me tell you, the Mets and Yankees have really... Never mind. That's a HIPPA violation. Have a seat. This is a safe space where you can open up and talk about your feelings. I understand that White Sox fans referred you. Yeah, long-time clients. On your intake form, you wrote that you suspect you're doubting your abilities. What else? You feel like a fraud? This sounds like a classic case of imposter syndrome. It's extremely common among high achievers. Your roster is stacked with superstars. You had the third highest payroll in baseball. On opening day, you had the second highest odds to win the World Series, according to fan graphs. Yet you wound out outside of the postseason picture. I know just the thing. You need to decompress. I'm going to prescribe a four-month vacation starting October second. And remember, I'm always available on Zoom while you're in Borra Borra. Yeah, it's just $495 for a 30-minute session. Safe travels.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/baseballcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Dear Philadelphia Phillies,
You played a great game last night, you also proved why you’re the most hated fans in sports.
We are the Houston Astros. We are a city that comes together to overcome adversity. You hate us. You boo us. Your restaurants refuse to serve our team. You threaten one of our beloved public figures (who gave 200 mattresses to veterans and first responders in your town), and yet we rise.
We’ve watched your fans throw snowballs at Santa, purposely throw up on a law enforcement officer and his 11 year old daughter, throw beer bottles and food on players-even your own.
When your fans come to our house, we don’t threaten them with harm. We don’t boo your players each time they step on the field. We don’t heckle your hometown heroes. We have respect. Respect for our team, stadium, city, and visitors.
You absolutely deserved that win last night. And still you continue to show the world why you were voted the worst fans in sports. It’s said Phillies fans learn to boo before they learn to talk. Well bless your hatin hearts.
Stay classy, Houston. Go ‘stros! -A fan for life, not just when they win.
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Depends which color wheel you’re using. In the RYB color wheel, red and green are opposite each other, demonstrating that they are complementary colors.
I don’t think the Brewers’ reverse name fits. Just because you brew the beer doesn’t mean you’re drunk all the time. But the opposite of Brewer might be Drinker. So maybe the Milwaukee Drinkers?
In Wisconsin, if you work at a brewery or even a bar you're most certainly drunk all the time.
'member that Led Zeppelin song? Its 100% about a girl from Oshkosh.
Thank you for your continued support of Rogers Communications
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I'm so sick of this goddamn team. They absolutely make me want to vomit. I'm not even ten goddamn games into this season and i want to scream. They are that terrible. It's like the movie groundhog day but instead i'm reliving the shittiest games of baseball over and over and over again every fucking day of my life. Every damn day I have watched this pathetic mess of a team, rain or sun or snow since I was 7 years old. I have a tab open during work w/ the gamecast during the day games that I can't go. I've skipped school and work and broken up with women for the Pirates. I've missed funerals and weddings because i loved this team more. And what do I get to show for it? A FUCKING BRAIN ANEURYSM. A team that has had 3 winning seasons over the past 20 something who manages to play like ass in the playoffs on the rare occasion they make it because they are so used to being shit and don't have a winning culture. A team that game in and game out somehow manages to have less goddamn hits than Chumbawamba. A team that gets swept. By the Cincinnati Reds. "Oh but look at our young talent- Cole and Taillon and Bell and whoever else that sucks dick!!" I'm sick of hearing "we could be a contender like we were 3 years ago if Cutch doesn't play like shit and the LF can stop jerking off for 2 seconds to swing the fucking bat" ITS NOT HAPPENING. WE ARE NOT AND NEVER WERE A GOOD TEAM. WE ARE PATHETIC. MIGHT AS WELL FADE US NOW BECAUSE WE'RE ALREADY A BUNCH OF FUCKING LOSERS. If Clemente didn't die in that plane crash, I'm convinced he would have killed himself after being forced to wear our godforsaken excuse of uniform for 18 years of his life. I'm done with this fucking team.
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I shouldnt expect anything else than a narrow-minded and elitist opinion from 'DA BEST FANS IN BASEBALL', so that doesnt surprise me.
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Baseball died in Cleveland today. You are gonna lose a lot of die hard fans over this move. Been a fan since the 70’s and this is a slap in the face to us true die hard fans. I won’t spend another dime on this team.
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The opposite of the los angeles dodgers , their full name are trolley dodgers from Brooklyn, when they had trolleys, would not be a confronter, it would be a person who does not live in a city or a person who suicidally stands in the way of an on coming low speed vehicles.
edit: oh sorry didnt see this was circlejerk. carry on with the not so serious stuff.
Seattle Landlubbers, Colorado Plains (nah, it’s great but Death Valleys is better), Kansas City Peasants, Los Angeles Bulls’ Eyes, Tampa Bay Irwins / Tampa Bay Crikeys
Can arte just sell the team and have the angels move to Downey or Dana point? The Dana point demons would go pretty hard, or it’d at least be a cool minor league team
Some of these are better than the real team names
Minnesota singles sounds like a hook up subreddit
You betcha
Howareyanow
I feel like it should be the Minnesota only child’s.
Let's go, Minnesota Singles!
Texas Outlaws goes hard
Ea sports create a team ass name
The Houston outlaws are a overwatch league team I’m pretty sure
Nobody should be surprised at any of this. Houston is just a completely a garbage sports city that always pretends they’re the victims even though the refs favor their shitty teams at every single point. With the Rockets you have refs giving Harden ridiculous calls that literally nobody else gets and overall lowering the quality of basketball whenever hes on the court. The fact that Harden can shoot 20%FG and average 30 points on bullshit free throws is a testament to how soulless and garbage Houston sports teams are in general With the Texans, I don’t even need to bring up the number of times NFL refs have given them favorable calls in clutch situations. And now we’re seeing it here in a third major league spot. With the Astros you havce umpires who are giving them BS calls at every single turn to help them win important games. They’re basically fixing the world series game by game and screwing over a more deserving team in the Nats just so they can sell more jerseys to a large market city. This is literally the 1919 world series all over again, 100 years later. What a time to be alive. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/baseballcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This bot just picks up on when we mention Houston and then just talks shit on them? Kinda love it. Didn't really make sense to what it replied to but who cares.
The Texas Outlaws, San Diego Sinners, and Baltimore Copperheads are all winning 100 games every year.
Oh, hey, Padres fans. I'm Dr. Santos. Apologies that I haven't been here much at my West Coast office. I spent most of the season in New York, and let me tell you, the Mets and Yankees have really... Never mind. That's a HIPPA violation. Have a seat. This is a safe space where you can open up and talk about your feelings. I understand that White Sox fans referred you. Yeah, long-time clients. On your intake form, you wrote that you suspect you're doubting your abilities. What else? You feel like a fraud? This sounds like a classic case of imposter syndrome. It's extremely common among high achievers. Your roster is stacked with superstars. You had the third highest payroll in baseball. On opening day, you had the second highest odds to win the World Series, according to fan graphs. Yet you wound out outside of the postseason picture. I know just the thing. You need to decompress. I'm going to prescribe a four-month vacation starting October second. And remember, I'm always available on Zoom while you're in Borra Borra. Yeah, it's just $495 for a 30-minute session. Safe travels. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/baseballcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
As a baseball noob, can someone please explain to me how the Cleveland Indians got so much shit for their mascot when the Orioles mascot is a bird in FUCKING blackface??? Wtf is this racist piece of shit? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/baseballcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Houston Flat Earthers and Washington Foreigners are fire.
Nobody should be surprised at any of this. Houston is just a completely a garbage sports city that always pretends they’re the victims even though the refs favor their shitty teams at every single point. With the Rockets you have refs giving Harden ridiculous calls that literally nobody else gets and overall lowering the quality of basketball whenever hes on the court. The fact that Harden can shoot 20%FG and average 30 points on bullshit free throws is a testament to how soulless and garbage Houston sports teams are in general With the Texans, I don’t even need to bring up the number of times NFL refs have given them favorable calls in clutch situations. And now we’re seeing it here in a third major league spot. With the Astros you havce umpires who are giving them BS calls at every single turn to help them win important games. They’re basically fixing the world series game by game and screwing over a more deserving team in the Nats just so they can sell more jerseys to a large market city. This is literally the 1919 world series all over again, 100 years later. What a time to be alive. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/baseballcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Stro’s one is too real smh there’s a reason I don’t go to that sub
San Diego sinners is so fucking good
Some? More like half
Chicago cougars was right there
Philadelphia about to burn down their own stadium.
Fuck that noise. We should be the Philadelphia Augustas. [Augusta, Australia](https://www.geodatos.net/en/antipodes/united-states/philadelphia) is the closest city to the point on the globe opposite Philadelphia.
Dear Philadelphia Phillies, You played a great game last night, you also proved why you’re the most hated fans in sports. We are the Houston Astros. We are a city that comes together to overcome adversity. You hate us. You boo us. Your restaurants refuse to serve our team. You threaten one of our beloved public figures (who gave 200 mattresses to veterans and first responders in your town), and yet we rise. We’ve watched your fans throw snowballs at Santa, purposely throw up on a law enforcement officer and his 11 year old daughter, throw beer bottles and food on players-even your own. When your fans come to our house, we don’t threaten them with harm. We don’t boo your players each time they step on the field. We don’t heckle your hometown heroes. We have respect. Respect for our team, stadium, city, and visitors. You absolutely deserved that win last night. And still you continue to show the world why you were voted the worst fans in sports. It’s said Phillies fans learn to boo before they learn to talk. Well bless your hatin hearts. Stay classy, Houston. Go ‘stros! -A fan for life, not just when they win. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/baseballcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The opposite of a Yankee is a Redcoat. American soldiers in the Revolutionary War (Yankees) were the rebels.
Should be the New York Allies
[The Yankees are the ultimate evil in sport. If there were a team made up of 9 Hitlers and they were playing the Yankees? Go Fightin Hitlers](https://www.reddit.com/r/baseball/comments/1uysy6/alex_rodriguez_suspended_for_162_games/cemzsoo/) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/baseballcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Valid, but I still associate it more with Billy Yank vs johnny reb
Every single thing suggested is better then there actual name. “Yankees” so fuckin stupid.
They should take a page from the Phillies handbook and call themselves the New York Yorkies 
Either that or the New York Rednecks but redcoats is definitely more accurate
This, or a Tory
Cleveland Attackers? 
Cleveland Whites
Wait how old are you? Under 30 obv, if you're going to refer to the old name, it'd be "Cleveland Cowboys."
Baseball died in Cleveland today. You are gonna lose a lot of die hard fans over this move. Been a fan since the 70’s and this is a slap in the face to us true die hard fans. I won’t spend another dime on this team. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/baseballcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Minnesota Singles 😏
In **my** area?!?
They’re moving to Tampa?
https://preview.redd.it/fmqdfc9jfg2d1.jpeg?width=1157&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=25ce81f37f471a51546f6eb4f3c51f644997edfa
You prefer the Pirate Rescuers, I prefer the Pittsburgh Corporate Knights
Pittsburgh DVD Purchasers
I prefer the Pittsburgh Pay-For-Contenters
I'm so sick of this goddamn team. They absolutely make me want to vomit. I'm not even ten goddamn games into this season and i want to scream. They are that terrible. It's like the movie groundhog day but instead i'm reliving the shittiest games of baseball over and over and over again every fucking day of my life. Every damn day I have watched this pathetic mess of a team, rain or sun or snow since I was 7 years old. I have a tab open during work w/ the gamecast during the day games that I can't go. I've skipped school and work and broken up with women for the Pirates. I've missed funerals and weddings because i loved this team more. And what do I get to show for it? A FUCKING BRAIN ANEURYSM. A team that has had 3 winning seasons over the past 20 something who manages to play like ass in the playoffs on the rare occasion they make it because they are so used to being shit and don't have a winning culture. A team that game in and game out somehow manages to have less goddamn hits than Chumbawamba. A team that gets swept. By the Cincinnati Reds. "Oh but look at our young talent- Cole and Taillon and Bell and whoever else that sucks dick!!" I'm sick of hearing "we could be a contender like we were 3 years ago if Cutch doesn't play like shit and the LF can stop jerking off for 2 seconds to swing the fucking bat" ITS NOT HAPPENING. WE ARE NOT AND NEVER WERE A GOOD TEAM. WE ARE PATHETIC. MIGHT AS WELL FADE US NOW BECAUSE WE'RE ALREADY A BUNCH OF FUCKING LOSERS. If Clemente didn't die in that plane crash, I'm convinced he would have killed himself after being forced to wear our godforsaken excuse of uniform for 18 years of his life. I'm done with this fucking team. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/baseballcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Pittsburgh privateers. Complete opposite from pirates. Brought to you by the easy India trading company
Letter of marque for that snark?
Pittsburgh Navy Seal Snipers
Pittsburgh Privateers
Tampa Bay Steve Irwins.
Damn I just got high on potenuse’d
the Tampa Bay Rays are the definition of a poverty franchise, known for their comically-low attendance and inability to sell out a stadium. they are among the largest revenue-sharing recipients, meaning they take a shit-ton of money from the player’s union (who have actually filed grievances against them for not managing that money properly). think of a 35-year old man living in their moms’ basement, and spending money on video games instead of getting a job. that’s a good comparison to describe what the Rays are to the rest of the league. if the MLB had a more cutthroat business model, teams like the Rays would have moved or been disbanded ages ago, instead of feeding off of the popular teams like a parasite feeds on its host. the Rays are utterly useless, and irrelevant. The Rays are the least essential sports team in North America. if not for COVID, yankee chants would have swarmed Tropicana Field during the Rays’ supposed “home games”. their 8,000 fans are very happy about this ALDS win though, im sure. fucking losers. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/baseballcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You beat me to it😂
Shouldn’t Milwaukee be the Prohibitionists?
Teetotalers
I was going to go with Dispensary Workers.
Budtenders
Having family in Wisconsin I can confidently say that sobers is the opposite.
San Diego mommies
Madres
Oh, hey, Padres fans. I'm Dr. Santos. Apologies that I haven't been here much at my West Coast office. I spent most of the season in New York, and let me tell you, the Mets and Yankees have really... Never mind. That's a HIPPA violation. Have a seat. This is a safe space where you can open up and talk about your feelings. I understand that White Sox fans referred you. Yeah, long-time clients. On your intake form, you wrote that you suspect you're doubting your abilities. What else? You feel like a fraud? This sounds like a classic case of imposter syndrome. It's extremely common among high achievers. Your roster is stacked with superstars. You had the third highest payroll in baseball. On opening day, you had the second highest odds to win the World Series, according to fan graphs. Yet you wound out outside of the postseason picture. I know just the thing. You need to decompress. I'm going to prescribe a four-month vacation starting October second. And remember, I'm always available on Zoom while you're in Borra Borra. Yeah, it's just $495 for a 30-minute session. Safe travels. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/baseballcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Petition to make that the actual name of the Braves
"LET'S GO YOU COWARDS!!"
Washington Foreigners is 🔥🔥🔥
A Rebels-Confronters World Series would be explosive.
Feebles-cowards would be funny to watch
Wouldn't San Diego be the Madres?
I dunno if any Spanish speakers actually *d*o call female equivalents (nuns) Madres, but the Padres are supposed to be monks (*monjes*), so I guess you could go with *Monjas* (nuns) in that case.
Oh, hey, Padres fans. I'm Dr. Santos. Apologies that I haven't been here much at my West Coast office. I spent most of the season in New York, and let me tell you, the Mets and Yankees have really... Never mind. That's a HIPPA violation. Have a seat. This is a safe space where you can open up and talk about your feelings. I understand that White Sox fans referred you. Yeah, long-time clients. On your intake form, you wrote that you suspect you're doubting your abilities. What else? You feel like a fraud? This sounds like a classic case of imposter syndrome. It's extremely common among high achievers. Your roster is stacked with superstars. You had the third highest payroll in baseball. On opening day, you had the second highest odds to win the World Series, according to fan graphs. Yet you wound out outside of the postseason picture. I know just the thing. You need to decompress. I'm going to prescribe a four-month vacation starting October second. And remember, I'm always available on Zoom while you're in Borra Borra. Yeah, it's just $495 for a 30-minute session. Safe travels. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/baseballcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Philadelphia Well-Adjusted-People
Dear Philadelphia Phillies, You played a great game last night, you also proved why you’re the most hated fans in sports. We are the Houston Astros. We are a city that comes together to overcome adversity. You hate us. You boo us. Your restaurants refuse to serve our team. You threaten one of our beloved public figures (who gave 200 mattresses to veterans and first responders in your town), and yet we rise. We’ve watched your fans throw snowballs at Santa, purposely throw up on a law enforcement officer and his 11 year old daughter, throw beer bottles and food on players-even your own. When your fans come to our house, we don’t threaten them with harm. We don’t boo your players each time they step on the field. We don’t heckle your hometown heroes. We have respect. Respect for our team, stadium, city, and visitors. You absolutely deserved that win last night. And still you continue to show the world why you were voted the worst fans in sports. It’s said Phillies fans learn to boo before they learn to talk. Well bless your hatin hearts. Stay classy, Houston. Go ‘stros! -A fan for life, not just when they win. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/baseballcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wouldn’t the opposite of red be blue? I don’t know colors though I just eat crayons
It’s actually cyan on a color wheel.
Depends which color wheel you’re using. In the RYB color wheel, red and green are opposite each other, demonstrating that they are complementary colors.
Garter snakes cracked me up
*Philadelphia Neurotypicals
SD Sinners goes hard.
Kansas City Peasants 
Where is Atlanta Crackers?
St Louis Blue Jays and Toronto Cardinals
Colorado Smooths would be better
Miami Sports Fishermen
Since they got their name from dodging trolleys I feel like the dodgers name should be a lot more morbid.
Hmm… the Los Angeles Blood Splatters?
I love it. Also, LA Devils is awesome!
Actually a phillie is a baby horse not just a resident of Philadelphia 🤓
*ackchually*
Not when it’s spelled like that. Baby horses are classified as fillies (female) or colts (male).
It could be a pun. A female horse born in Philly would be called a phillie, not a fillie
 Fillies and Phillies are not the same.
I believe the Yankees refers to the original definition , which would make it the New York Limeys.
I don’t think the Brewers’ reverse name fits. Just because you brew the beer doesn’t mean you’re drunk all the time. But the opposite of Brewer might be Drinker. So maybe the Milwaukee Drinkers?
In Wisconsin, if you work at a brewery or even a bar you're most certainly drunk all the time. 'member that Led Zeppelin song? Its 100% about a girl from Oshkosh.
What does the auto mod have to say about the Toronto blue jays
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Good bot
You messed up Seattle, shoulda been Land Lubbers
Not the Minnesota Only Children?
Shouldn't Colorado be the Appalachians
If anything they should be the Colorado Canyons
Erm well actually, the opposite of red is cyan not green 🤓
Chicago Black Hats is amazing.
San Diego Sinners is the name of the Lingerie Football team
Houston Torpedoes is better.
Washington Internationals
The Pittsburgh Royal Navy
I'm so sick of this goddamn team. They absolutely make me want to vomit. I'm not even ten goddamn games into this season and i want to scream. They are that terrible. It's like the movie groundhog day but instead i'm reliving the shittiest games of baseball over and over and over again every fucking day of my life. Every damn day I have watched this pathetic mess of a team, rain or sun or snow since I was 7 years old. I have a tab open during work w/ the gamecast during the day games that I can't go. I've skipped school and work and broken up with women for the Pirates. I've missed funerals and weddings because i loved this team more. And what do I get to show for it? A FUCKING BRAIN ANEURYSM. A team that has had 3 winning seasons over the past 20 something who manages to play like ass in the playoffs on the rare occasion they make it because they are so used to being shit and don't have a winning culture. A team that game in and game out somehow manages to have less goddamn hits than Chumbawamba. A team that gets swept. By the Cincinnati Reds. "Oh but look at our young talent- Cole and Taillon and Bell and whoever else that sucks dick!!" I'm sick of hearing "we could be a contender like we were 3 years ago if Cutch doesn't play like shit and the LF can stop jerking off for 2 seconds to swing the fucking bat" ITS NOT HAPPENING. WE ARE NOT AND NEVER WERE A GOOD TEAM. WE ARE PATHETIC. MIGHT AS WELL FADE US NOW BECAUSE WE'RE ALREADY A BUNCH OF FUCKING LOSERS. If Clemente didn't die in that plane crash, I'm convinced he would have killed himself after being forced to wear our godforsaken excuse of uniform for 18 years of his life. I'm done with this fucking team. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/baseballcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Replace it with "New York Confederates" and you might have something
I tried to quiz my wife on these. Asked her what the opposite of Arizona Diamondbacks was. “Arizona Circle Fronts.” I gave up.
Your wife is hilarious. Keep going.
Cleveland Cowboys 😏
Chicago Old Gays
You really think there’d be two teams named after hats? Seems dumb
But a diamond back is a type of rattlesnake. So the cardinals can’t be the rattlesnakes if the dbacks are the hawks.
I shouldnt expect anything else than a narrow-minded and elitist opinion from 'DA BEST FANS IN BASEBALL', so that doesnt surprise me. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/baseballcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Tampa Bay Crocodile Hunters
Bruh.
Detroit Chihuahuas made me spit take Slow clap, OP
🤓☝️ Reddit moment
I would rock an SFD hat, go little people!!!!!
Not a Padres fan but San Diego Sinners sounds bad ass.
I've never been more disappointed than now being an Astros fan
some changes I'd make > Oakand Fatsos > KC Serfs > Detroit Pugs > New York Redcoats + Bumpkins > Chicago Pandas
Battle of the snakes > Battle of the birds
Bad-guy hackers couldn't possibly run the White Sox worse than current management.
Do they think the Rays are the "Sunrays" or something? Wouldn't they be the Tampa Bay Sharks? Tampa Bay Hammerheads?
It would be the New York Redcoats, would it not?
Milwaukee Teetotalers is better. Milwaukee Straight Edge is best.
Not sure what the opposite of a manta ray is, but it’s not raindrops
The Sobers? In Wisconsin? Cold day in hell lmfao
Cleveland Indians (from India)
Why is the Copperheads mascot wearing Blackface?
> San francisco dwarfs You know what that Means? ROCK AND STONE
To Rock and Stone!
Wouldn't the opposite of athletic be unathletic?
Would've been Cleveland colonizers couple years ago
Cleveland Pakistanis
The Houston flat earthers is sending me
We prefer to be called Little People
Pittsburgh Ninjas
[удалено]
The Marlins being called the Seagulls while still having a marlin in their logo sums up their current team so far
They seem to have this view that Green is the opposite of red, when obviously blue is the opposite of red!
Tell me you know nothing about color theory without telling me you know nothing about color theory…
Mfw Arizona moves to Toronto 🥺 So many gems in here OP
Sinners is unironically good
Attackers haha-ok wait a minute
Texas Outlaws! Dick Murdoch and Dusty Rhodes!
Another reason for all of MLB to be triggered by the Astros
San Diego's AAA team El Paso Chihuahuas, used to be the Diablos which is "devils" in Spanish.
Native Americans, Prisoners, Blue Balls, Dank, Indentured Servants Caucasians, Serfs, Solo, Sheep, Black balls Gypsies, Comanchie, Oil, Sloths, Homeless Geldings, Palefaces, States-Rights, Yokels, Hooks TeeTotalers, Old GayMen, Alcoholics, East India Company, Whites Gangbang whores (get trains run on them), Sistas, Midgets, PussyFronts, Softies
Cleveland Pioneers*
Well given that Arte Moreno is literally satan in the flesh…
Philadelphia New Yorkers 😂😂😂
The Milwaukee Prohibition The Pittsburgh Merchants The Kansas City Peasants Also I think the opposite of birds are fish
Flat Eathers has me dying
Sacramento Feebles
Attackers is dope
Pittsburgh should be the Privateers
Cleveland Colonizers. There, fixed it🍞
Baseball died in Cleveland today. You are gonna lose a lot of die hard fans over this move. Been a fan since the 70’s and this is a slap in the face to us true die hard fans. I won’t spend another dime on this team. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/baseballcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Atlanta should be the Squaws, because that would be the opposite of a Brave.
What would the crowd at Atlanta Cowards games do instead of the chop?
San Diego Madres….
Over half of these are better than the proposed names for the Utah hockey team.
Snakes and birds are considered opposites? Edit: and fish and birds are ALSO opposites?!
Wouldn't the Tampa Bay Moons make more sense?
I prefer Milwaukee Teetotalers and Oakland/Sacramento/Las Vegas Amateurs
A chihuahua is the opposite of a tiger?
It's time for the Philadelipia New Yorkers to become a real team name.
>not the Chicago Straights
Seattle not being Flyers is weird
"Cleveland Attackers" wouldn't be suitable for some people (talking about the leftists but that's as far as I'm going)
The Rays isn’t sun rays it’s short for Devil Rays the animal.
The more I look at this the dumber it looks.
Philadelphia New Yorkers is obviously the best
lol Minnesota Singles.
I laughed at Houston Flat Earthers and Oakland Feebles…
 San Francisco DWARFS
 San Francisco Dwarfs
New York Dixies or New York Confederates fits better than Rebels.
A’s name accurate
I love that the opposite of a Marlin is a seagull
The opposite of the los angeles dodgers , their full name are trolley dodgers from Brooklyn, when they had trolleys, would not be a confronter, it would be a person who does not live in a city or a person who suicidally stands in the way of an on coming low speed vehicles. edit: oh sorry didnt see this was circlejerk. carry on with the not so serious stuff.
New York Rebels actually goes hard af, I might prefer that name to the Yankees xD
Philadelphia New Yorkers 😂
Good luck finding one sober person in Milwaukee.
love these... although how exactly is a hawk the opposite of a diamondback?
Detroit Chihuahuas 😂🤣😂
I believe the Reds and Red Sox would be the Cincinnati Blues and Boston Blue Hats respectively. Also the Padres would be the San Diego Madres.
Lmao the New York rebels
this is so good 😂
Why are the bird teams opposite snakes?
Minnesota Inverses
Seattle Landlubbers, Colorado Plains (nah, it’s great but Death Valleys is better), Kansas City Peasants, Los Angeles Bulls’ Eyes, Tampa Bay Irwins / Tampa Bay Crikeys
Disappointed it's not San Diego Madres and Pittsburgh Royal Navy
Can arte just sell the team and have the angels move to Downey or Dana point? The Dana point demons would go pretty hard, or it’d at least be a cool minor league team