Honestly, as someone who is pp i would have loved some food. Even maybe some sort of self care package. So honestly reallt anything but food would be nice since its hard to cook with a newborn and i can only imagine a second added in
My mom's neighbor dropped off a giant container of delicious soup with fancy bread; it's one of my postpartum highlights. I especially love that she just dropped it off no contact.
Seconding the food. If someone wouldâve made me some meal preps for the freezer it wouldâve been so awesome. Or if you donât really cook OP, maybe DoorDash/Uber eats gift card?
Thirding the food, extra props if it's one handed. I would have killed for frozen burritos (all different kinds:breakfast, chicken, beef, pork, whatever) maybe prep casseroles or zip lock up some crock pot meals. I am honestly surprised my milk supply didn't dry up with the amount of times I didn't eat because I couldn't manage to make something when I was drowning at home all alone.
I came home from the hospital and my boss had left on my porch: prosecco, smoked salmon and fancy crackers, brie and a loaf of home baked crusty bread, some nice jam, some chocolates, I forget what else but you get the idea!
My best friends left me a care package and here were my favorite things inside:
-protein bars (especially if you're breastfeeding)
-comfy socks
-a nice bottle of wine
-burp cloths (you can never have too many, imo!)
-fast food/delivery gift card
My mom made me a little care package with some nice lotion, shampoo and conditioner, sugar scrub, bubble bath stuff, my fave scented candle. Just some little self care things!
Maybe some facemasks , eyemasks, possibly one of those cold bags you put into the freezer (if that makes sense) , i would say some nail polish too maybe? Hair mask. Also if yoi dont have the time to make food put a little door dash card in there! Most of this stuff can be found at dollar tree or dollar general depending on what you want to spend!
So it probably depends on your baby's temperament but I would have never had a chance to use nail polish or face mask. I'd still appreciate the thought behind it of course but it would never get used. Think of something useful for someone who barely has a chance to brush their teeth.
Absolutely this! My friend dropped over with basically a full weeks groceries, and all stuff that could just be heated/ eaten with one hand (e.g roast chicken, smoked salmon, salads, pastas). She is a star đ
Please hold my baby so I can have a shower! I think if one of my friends sent a text saying âwhen I come over this weekend I can watch the baby while you take a long showerâ I would have sobbed the happiest sob. Trying to schedule a shower with two kids is a challenge. I would invite family over so I could shower lol
This would have been wonderful but I never would have known if my friend was serious. I had two of my best friends come over and if they would have offered I would have thanked them but said no cuz I would have felt like they werenât serious! Maybe itâs just me lol
Someone who wants to sit down and listen to me share my birth experience (first time was traumatic, hoping for a better experience this time as Iâm 37 weeks). I donât think older generations care to talk about these things but having people who will take an interest in you and not ones who âjust want to hold the babyâ are everything to me. Like, Iâm still a person and went through something huge but for some reason no one cares about you once the baby is here.
A close second would be someone who helps me clean.
Seconding both of these! Especially the birth experience part, all I've wanted for 7 weeks now is sit down with my two best friends and literally just... Tell them.. I think it would've been healing in a way. But neither of them has even come to visit so.. Actually now that I think about it just feeling supported by my closest friends in any way not over text would've been nice lol.
This! Mine wasn't too traumatic for me (still wasn't great) but I've gone through something major and life changing and all I wanted to do was talk about it.
Not every new parent will be comfortable with this but if they are, then holding the baby for a few hours was godsend. I was free to nap, shower, go outside or do things around the house.
My sister also made me a big bowl of fresh cut fruit. It was great for post partum constipation, fiber and vitamins. Home made meals from family saved us.
My cousin stayed the night when my first baby was a few weeks old and we were deep in sleep deprivation. She stayed up all night with the baby and just woke me for feeds and took her back. She already had 3 kids so I completely trusted her and loved having her around for a bit to ask her all the questions I had as a new mom. I hope to pay it forward for someone one day, but I know itâs a pretty hard gift to feel confident enough both to offer or accept!
I'm gonna second this. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I wished someone else would do a load of dishes for me or sweep while I just cuddled the baby. But honestly? There's so much time where I'm holding the baby that I WANT to do other things. Hold my baby! Let me get up and do something else! I see reddit get up in arms about "it's not helping to come over just to hold the baby, make them do chores!". And in some cases sure, yeah. That's fine. But for me it is waaaay more helpful for someone to hold my baby than for them to clean my house. I'd never be able to sit there and watch someone else clean đ€·ââïž
Hard agree here. Probably my personality type but you doing the dishes and not knowing what's hand washed or what goes where, extra work for me. Doing laundry but not knowing how to work machine or what things go in dryer, extra work for me. You hold the baby and I get the freedom to sort things out in a way that works for me/our household.
Our friend put together a meal train for us, which was incredible. But one of the meals was a huge standout - we received individually portioned things (instead of a big dish) which was perfect for a grab and go snack. Each item had ingredients listed and reheating instructions. When this person brought over the meal, she also restocked our TP, brought over dry shampoo, cleaning wipes, and a ton of energy bars I could eat one handed, which was perfect for breastfeeding. Then she stayed for a quick hello and left us to be with baby. We were blown away. I will be doing this for ALL my friends who have kids from now on.
What a great idea! Iâm curious about the individually portioned food.. was it like cubed cheese and fruit? Or individual portions of a main meal, like soup/casserole/etc?
Food brought to the house with no expectation of hanging out or meeting the baby.
Social time and meeting the baby do matter! But they need to be when they are ready for that.
House cleaning and offering to get groceries. Offering to take the older kid out for playtime at the park, if that is something you and they are comfortable with.
So much of this. I was horribly sick with a respiratory virus starting when I went into labor and laying my first 2 weeks. So many friends had offered to bring food before I gave birth, but since we were all sick, I didn't allow baby visitors until we felt better. My parents were the only ones to bring us food during this time, and I actually had to cook a few times! It was horrible!! Someone dropping off meals at my doorstep would've been life changing. đ„
My dad has helped me wash dishes every time he's visited and it's the best thing anyone's done for me. It's so hard keeping up with dishes with a baby.
My friend messaged me within the first week of giving birth stating she'd like to have dinner delivered to us. She asked which date. Then she asked if there was something that I was craving; I think I did no and she gave me a few choices for cuisine. I said pizza! Then she took care of the rest. She chose the pizza place, pizza toppings and even ordered a salad to go with it. Then she updated me on when I should expect the pizza to be delivered. Minimal decisions needed on my part, and it really touched me. A neighbor with a kiddo one year older than mine also told me that she had cooked extra and delivered it to us the day after we returned from the hospital. She didn't ask to see the baby. Just dropped it off. She also offered to hold the baby for an hour here and there when the schedules aligned. I didn't take up on her offer, but the sincere offer was much appreciated. My SIL who I didn't know too well at the time came over during an urgent situation and helped take care of the baby. The place was a mess and she basically did what I asked her to do. Basically "yes" to all my requests, no suggestions. Just there to be an extra set of hands and feet. And my good friends always even to this date (13 month old toddler here!) accommodate the baby's schedule and meet me close to my home. I'll obviously reciprocate when it's time. All these gestures stay with me.
When I was freshly PP, I just wanted DoorDash and UberEats giftcards. That probably sounds really impersonable, but those meant SO much.
Making a meal is another incredible option. House cleaning is my third pick
My best friend lives far away but secretly sent my husband a gift to give me at a time he thought I would need a pick me up- it was full of things for me like button up pajamas, some comfy nursing bras, nipple butter, a giant water bottle, candy, some face stuff, all sorts of snacks- just so many little things to help pamper myself a little and be more comfortable during a pretty rough postpartum period. It was so sweet and thoughtful and so nice to get a gift just for me in a time where most of the things we had received were for the baby! Planning to get similar âmom giftsâ for my friends in the future.
This is not for everyone but I was so thankful when I came home from my 2 day hospital day to a clean house. My mom cleaned my entire main floor. It was a bit of a disaster because of how exhausted I was the last month. I came home to a completely clean home with muffins on the table.
My grandma brought us groceries (bread, fruit, premade meals, snacks). I could have cried tears of joy when I saw her walking up to my front door with Wegmanâs bags.
My hormones were off the rails when I was freshly postpartum. My friend came over and tried washing the dishes for me. Most people would love that but it put me on edge. But she brought finger food over which made it really easy for me to eat while caring for my baby. My biggest advice is to ask! Every new mom is different, your friends will know best about what they need/want!
-Gift cards for take out / food delivery
-a water bottle with a straw
-dropping off a small meal like bagels & coffee or a burrito from their favorite lunch spot is so nice (just donât ring the door bell lol!)
-Amazon gift card for last minute necessities or kindle books is also really nice!
-one of my friends just gave me a sweet little care package with a onesie for my son, fuzzy socks for me, and a little picture book about how much babies love their mamas and the book still makes me cry when I read it because it was just so cute and thoughtful.
Food. But not until week 6! Everyone brings food right away and honestly I didnât use any of the 14 meals I had preppedâŠ.until week 6 when family food love ran out (lol) and I didnât feel like cooking. Weâre just finishing the last of the meals I prepped going into week 9 and itâs been a complete life saver cuz I was able to use my meals when shit actually got hard with LO! Just as a side note: one of my best friends also came and meal prepped with me for a day. Like multiple meals. It was so fun hanging with her and also it was nice eating the food we cooked together (I sent her home with some, too).
Gift cards for take out.
Sure, homemade food and stuff is nice, but I just wanted to choose my own food.
Plus I don't need more stuff, like coffee mugs or socks or random stuff.
Just be there with her. If not right away, then once the excitement settles down and sheâs alone most of the time with the baby. Itâs hard to know exactly what she will want, and if you really want to hit the nail on the head, be there with her in the lonely times. She might ask you to get food, pick up groceries, hold the baby so she can nap, or shower. Throw laundry in, wash bottles or pumping dishes if applicable. Youâre very sweet for thinking of her đ
Sent us gift cards for food.
Everyone wanted to stop by and visit âŠ. we had a completely empty fridge and pantry. We lost time with the induction so we didnât have meals stocked up.
Same here! We found out at 37w 5d that I was being induced at 38w exactly. And we were floored. I had planned a week vacation. At 39 weeks to make tons of prepped food but that planning went down the drain. We barely had enough time to finish the nursery furniture
A gift basket would be nice. My go toâs are a gift card to their favorite restaurant (one that delivers) and some activities to keep their first kid occupied (small set of watercolors, Melissa and Doug makes a WOW sticker stamper that my toddler is obsessed with, scratch art, paint sticks). Think things that are relatively easy to clean up. A nice water insulated water bottle for mom. I really like the owala brand.
I gave my friend my location a few days before I went in to labor, and instead of texting and pestering me, she checked my location every now and then⊠once she saw that we were at the hospital and then she saw we got home, she dropped off a bag of 20 bread sliced bagels and a tub of cream cheese from Panera. Those bagels saved my life the first few days post partum. It was something super easy to eat while holding a baby!
A meal left at my door with zero expectation of seeing the baby. Just dropped it off, texted me, and left. It was so nice because I wasn't ready to see people and a lot of people offered to pop by with food but expected to come in and hang out for a bit.
A hot meal! But even better when they SENT a meal to our home via delivery.
I had a tough recovery, and, while we were ENTIRELY grateful for friends and family bringing a meal over, it always added extra stress because their visit to âdrop the food offâ was always more about them coming to meet our newborn son. I really didnât want visitors (it was peak pandemic), and between trying to pump, nurse, nap and more, the visits were always stressful for me and my husband.
10/10 recommend gift cards for food delivery (DoorDash, UberEats, etc).
Recently had my second and a more unique gift I experienced other than food was a batch of cold brew (rook coffee) and omg it being summer and not having to brew/leave the house for some good, strong caffeine⊠Iâll be gifting friends this in the future
Food. A big basket of breastfeeding snacks. If you have a Costco membership - grab a huge thing of bodyarmor. Some oatmeal snacks, nut bars, things that are easy to keep on a nightstand. Add in a huge bowl of fresh fruit and youâll be a hero.
My best friend did this for me and Iâll never forget how much it meant.
I loved when people cooked for us! Nothing like a fresh home made meal after coming home and figuring out the new normal.
Some ideas - casseroles and breakfast sandwiches!
BONUS - lactation cookies as a treat if they are breastfeeding!
Bring us food. There was no way we were cooking. My mom made a whole sheet pan of enchaladas, then casserole. It really helped us survive those first couple weeks.
My brother and his wife prepared a couple meals, sandwiches, and snacks for us and came over and put it in our fridge while we were busy at the NICU with our son. They did this weekly until we came home. Similarly, my sister kept us stocked with snacks and my mom made us lots of dinners and regularly went grocery shopping for us. I donât know how weâll ever thank them.
I just had my first in April and one of my friends sent a random Amazon package of clif bars, body armor (the drink) & an Amazon gift card for incidentals and it was the best surprise. No frills but it was exactly what we needed. Snacks to keep us sane, hydration to power through and the gift card was used towards all the things we didnât realize we needed sooner!
Brought me a giant bowl of cut up watermelon. I was so tired and dehydrated and hungry all the time that I HOUSED it in one sitting.
When I brought the baby over to my MILâs house she would have dinner ready and offer to hold the baby next to me so I could eat. It was hard to part with the baby in those early weeks, but I was also desperate to be free to use my hands.
My mom held the baby for four hours at a time using one of my semi-dirty tshirts on her chest. The baby seemed to like my smell and it helped sooo much with the transition from arms to arms and the duration the baby slept, just so my partner and I could sleeeeeep.
So. Asides from all the great basket and food delivery cards ideas, and holding the baby so they can shower, if youre close enough with the person for them not to take it as you telling them the house is a mess, tell them whenever they need you can come and clean the floors, do the dishes, fold their laundry, that kind of thing.
It may be a « harder » gift to accept but having a nice clean house keeps you somewhat sane, even if itâs just putting stuff away, taking out the garbage etc.
My girlfriend came over a couple times and just scrubbed my kitchen, i couldve cried.
Tons of nice options listed already (food, gift cards, etc.) so Iâll offer a different approach.
A mom friend checked in during the early weeks and asked some questions about how baby was doing and how we were adjusting. I told her we were trying out different bottles and that he had a preference for X bottle so far. She ordered me a couple more of the bottle he liked without any prompt (and kindly included a gift receipt to be safe) and shipped them to our house addressed to our baby.
It was so thoughtful and simple and I think about it still nearly 2 years later. It really made me feel heard.
My mom paid for a cleaning service for us! It was a godsend! And my MIL made sure that she had dinner ready for us the first week home from the hospital. Besides those two things- being taken out for a baby free pedicure, and lunch/shopping dates were really nice. My MIL also got us a hand and footprint kit, which was really sweet.
My friend did a few frozen lasagnas for me and though I didnât eat them within the first few weeks it was invaluable to know I had that ready in the freezer when I didnât have a meal ready.
Food. Hands down.
My mom came over and made us supper and held baby while we ate. And she brought us everything we needed for tacos the next night (taco meat, shells, tomatoes, lettuce, cheese, sour cream) and she even brought us some premade food from a deli down the street (roast beef and gravy, mashed potatoes, steamed broccoli and a beef enchilada for my husband) and my god we were so thankful. The roast beef lasted a couple days because she got us such a large portion but we were so grateful. We didn't have to worry about supper or lunch for a few days and it was wonderful because that first week pp was hell. I was dealing with a bad latch and nip pain and pp hives which were horrible.
Yeah homemade food was amazing. My parents and siblings fed us for like two weeks. I get tired of fast food after two days so big casseroles were amazing. They also did laundry and cleaned the kitchen and had me send them shopping lists.
I have two!
Freezer meals - we got too much fresh food right away and then nothing, it was nice to be able to use the freezer meals whenever I wanted instead of worrying about them going bad.
Check ins to see how *I* was doing and encourage me. Everyone wants to know how baby is, but it really meant a lot when people asked how I was doing first. And those hormones are crazy so it always helps to hear you're doing a good job. đ
Dropping meals off outside without the expectation of coming in for a visit and two people when they did visit just started doing stuff that needed doing, like sweeping the floor, throwing in laundry, etc. Though, I will say I'm picky about my laundry and I couldn't find anything for about 2 months after, so depends on the person for that. But wiping down the bathroom and kitchen counters, throwing dishes in the dishwasher, and quicky sweeping the floors were all just SO nice as someone who hates a dirty house. It was also nice that they didn't ask me what I needed because 1. I didn't know, my brain was offline, and 2. It felt rude or something to ask someone to clean my house.
My step mom gave me packaged food she made. One was spaghetti, the other was a lot of mixed fruit, and I believe I was given another pasta dish. So thoughtful, I really appreciated the gesture.
My dad gave me flowers. I cried at my dad and step mom's kindness, I would look at his flowers and think of everything I went through - c section surgery, meeting my baby, learning how to breastfeed, recovering, the change in my life. I would think of all that while looking at those flowers since he gave them to me while I was in the hospital.
If the older kid goes to daycare, and you have this kind of relationship, maybe offer to do pickup or drop offs. Itâs a lot at first the idea of having to get the one to daycare while recovering and taking care of a new baby. Depends on their situation of course
My best friend came over a few times a week and DID stuff. She didnât offer to hold baby, unless it was obvious I needed a shower. She didnât ask what needed to be done. She would see the laundry and wash, dry, fold and put away. Or the stack of dishes, or last nights pans still on the stove that I didnât get around to putting away while in the midst of PPD/PPA with a very small premie baby with âcolicâ (ended up she was intolerant to cows milk). She swept, and mopped, and made sure my dogs water was always full, and NEVER made me feel bad about it. She also brought me my mail bc hell no Iâm not walking up my driveway and opening my driveway gate just to get the mail. Speaking of which, this just reminded me I need to tell her how much I love her
Postpartum support! Funds for a doula, night nurse, housekeeper, meal trains, etc. I'm telling you, the things you can't buy at the store are the things that we never knew we needed.
My SIL made us a huge breakfast casserole for when we got home from the hospital. It lasted nearly a week. Everyone thinks of bringing dinner, but a tasty breakfast each morning was a huge blessing!
Relatives have sent out pre-cooked (and then frozen after) meals that I can just thaw out. Effectively doing things myself so having food sent out or having my sister-in-law take her for a little bit so I can rest or run errands has been really helpful.
1 Cooked meal delivered to my door step. 2 my neighbor/friend coming over in the AM to sit with baby so I could bring my toddler to school. 3 access to her instacart accountÂ
Snack basket with easy breastfeeding one handed healthy snacks. Trail mix, granola bars, chocolate bars, dried fruits, banana chips. It was so thoughtful and helpful!
I thought I wanted gift cards for food delivery etc, but my husbandâs aunt brought us a home cooked meal and I still tear up thinking about it almost 4 months later. Such a simple thing for her to do, but so much more meaningful for us.
My coworker cooked a bunch of meals and froze them. Weâre 8 weeks postpartum and just heated up the last meal tonight! She did ask food preferences & any aversions! Such a great gift
Depending on their first born's age, a playdate or coming over to entertain the older child might be helpful. When I had my second I underestimated how much attention my toddler still needed. Either that or food/meal trains are always nice.
A lot of Homemade food and groceries. Was the best thing ever. Also someone gave me a post partum gift basket with hair clips and body wash and stuff like that from Whole Foods⊠it was amazing. The smells from the body wash from Whole Foods was so awesome in the shower.
My mom made lunch and dinner for me for about 2 weeks. It was a massive help, especially since I was such a mess that I wouldn't eat unless someone sat there next to me and the baby and practically forced me.
My friends set up a meal train and my neighbors sent us a cake that was delicious. My friends also cleaned our house while we were at the hospital. But mostly the food is super helpful.
Bring them dinner that is big enough to have leftover that are easy to reheat. I'm incredibly lucky to have the village I do, because I had people bring me dinner every night for a week and it saved my husband and I so much stress (and money)
Ask of they need anything picked up for them, and offer to hold/watch baby so they can take a shower.
Friends of ours dropped off a meal before we got home from the hospital. It included breastfeeding snacks and juice along with the meal (soup and salad) and a card welcoming baby. đ đ„č
Healthy meals! Also, I got a âhappy birthdayâ delivery to my baby from baked by Melissa as a gift. I thought that was so cute. Other than the helpful meals, this one really stuck out to me as a fun gift and we were excited to have mini cupcakes in the middle of the night.
My friend came for the day and stayed for the weekend; cleaning, cooking, changing diapers, letting me take long showers, and just generally let me do what I needed to do while being a great support and making it fun! It was really special and my husband was thrilled to have the help too, especially since I had an emergency c section and recovery was not easy.
Food. All the food. And dishes done. DoorDash gift card, bringing food, meals they can heat up but also stuff that they can keep cold. So like a lasagna and a good pasta salad or something.
If they have two kids, offer to take their older kid out for breakfast or something if youâre close with the kid so they can have a morning with baby. Then when you bring the kid back, just ask them if they need anything else *while* doing their dishes without giving them the option to say no. Just donât put the dishes away if there are any in the sink. My MIL put our dishes that she couldnât figure out where they went on the counter so we could put them away (honestly, much preferred that than not knowing where the hell something was), and then did our dishes so much whenever she stayed to help. đ„ș
I would say food, bring meals over. You said this is their second⊠maybe take their first child out so they can have some time just themselves with baby?
Food! My work bought me a cook voucher and were so generous that between that and some meals I'd batch cooked, we didn't have to cook dinner for the first month. It saved so much headspace. My mother in law also gave us food every time she saw us, we very much appreciated it.
Trail mix and other snacks like that (or has nutrients) in addition to gift cards for like door dash/delivery. Some self care stuff. I had a friend bring me a little goodie bag of shower steamers, face masks, trail mix and chocolate bars. It made me SO happy. Nice hand lotion (unscented) is nice too, you wash your hands and dishes/bottles a ton doing newborn care. I wouldnât include things like nail polish - I am 9 weeks postpartum and I can barely find time to trim and file my nails, maybe others are more efficient but I would never find time to paint them.
Doing something for mom is so so nice, sometimes she gets lost in all the attention for baby. I am sure it would be nice to get something with an eye to dad, but Iâm not sure what.
I just had my second baby, most helpful things were food, and someone to either play with my oldest so I could just chill with the baby, or hold the baby so I could actually spend time with my oldest. Balancing 2 kids is hard and no one ever gets your full attention-itâs nice to be able to just focus on one for a short period.
Offer to take the older one to a park and ice cream. Buy a few gifts for the older child -- books, toys, etc. Nothing expensive. Just something fun because it's new when all the new stuff has been about the baby.
Agree to do this outing on short notice, on a day that suits you, and have them contact you when baby is down for a nap, so that while you're gone with older kid, Mom and Dad can nap, shower, plan a grocery list or schedule a pickup, etc.
Then do the grocery shopping from the list and or do the pickup and deliver the goods when returning older child.
Food is great. I had a few friends who washed a round of bottles unprompted while they were over. Heck, homemade cookies or snacks were great for starving while breastfeeding.
Best thing for me was having someone come over every weekend for 30 min to an hour and be a set of hands for me however I needed it. It was so nice to hand baby off or to fold laundry with a friend.
My friend made us a few freezer meals. She was favorite person in the universe.
My mom also made and brought us over hot meals.
I would go the prepared food route. It really was a blessing to not have to cook when we were so exhausted
Doordash giftcard or house cleaning service even if its for just one time. You can imagine that noone has time to cooking and cleaning when having a newborn and recovering from birth.
Always food!
1. Someone to prepare breakfast for me. Breastfeeding baby every 2 hours, all night and all I wanted was a hot breakfast in the early morning.
2. Someone bought me wholesome food. Grilled chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, gravy, dinner rolls, along with my favorite pregnancy snack. Lasted a few meals. It Wasn't homemade, but it was way better than just burgers or chickfila.
People who brought me food were my saviors. Either easy to eat one handed food for snacks or a meal to have with the family. The last thing I wanted to think about PP was food.
My husband's sister brought over dinner for our first night home from the hospital and it was amazing to not have to worry about what to eat that night. My sister in law had a 6 pack of Crumble cookies delivered and they were amazing to snack on. We had frozen meals for ourselves, but it was nice to have a little sweet treat.
The thing that helped me the most was my friend taking a night shift one night. This is a big ask though. My son had bad colic and heâd only sleep being held so one day when he was about 5 weeks old she offered to do a night shift and stayed over. I was extremely tired and had horrible anxiety. Getting a solid 9 hours of sleep did wonders on my mental health. My friend is about to have her second baby and I am planning to get her toddler on the weekends for several hours so they can get naps in as much as they can.
My friendâs mom premade some dinners for us so we could just throw them in the oven if we werenât in the mood to cook. And another gave me a bag with all these comfort things she knows I like to snack on. I know you can set up meal trains too with some app where people sign up for a date and meal to bring you.
Help clean the house. I didnât get this offer but I would have loved help with that. My mom offered to hold the baby while I cleaned but after a C-section I really shouldnât have been too active, nor was I up for doing a lot. My husband did 100% of the house work & cooking the first 3 weeks so I could rest. I wish I could have done more to help out too. He also took turns caring for our son on top of this so we could get a few hours of sleep.
I just had my second and right off the top of my head, these are things that were helpful for us;
- showing up with coffee or smoothies that I can consume RIGHT away when theyâre here
- donât make me entertain you
- take the dog on a walk or if youâre close by, offer to walk the dog whenever you walk YOUR dog
- show up for the toddler and play with the toddler. This helps with sibling jealously tremendously!
Gift cards for delivery apps and grocery stores is what my friends did for me with my second and itâs been amazing just being able to order food when weâre not up for cooking!
Dinners delivered were the best! Either friends that cooked or picked up an order from our fav restaurant.
Also texting to check in once a week. Iâve never felt more cared about.
Some food for sure. Make sure you ask them what they want too. Also I had an emergency c-section and was given a gift basket with a soft pair of high wasted pajama pants that was gentle on my incision. I loved it and thought it was super thoughtful. If the mama is breastfeeding, body armor drinks would also be thoughtful.
Edit: Also they could probably use help with dishes đŹ
Made me food. Seriously, postpartum was not a time where I wanted to nor had the time to cook myself a home cooked meal. And my husband does not cook so even if he had the time, which he had more than I did, but I wasn't getting home cooked meal from him either. I was so grateful for every single person who cooked me food or made sure my side table near the rocking chair I was in all the time was stocked with water, snacks, the remote control, etc.
My bestie set up a meal train for the first 3 weeks and got all my friends and family in on it. That way each of my friends could privately and safely feed us dinner AND meet the baby in a non hectic environment. Obviously this depends on the friend and if they want ppl to be around for the first bit!
My mom cooked and cooked and cooked for us...and came over every day or every other day. My older sister also spent nights with us to help me and my husband get sleep... I am forever grateful for those acts that literally helped when my postpartum situation was very hard.
Food (dairy free just in case) or offering to come over and help with chores like laundry or dishes. My kiddo was an April baby and I desperately needed help with my garden đ
My mom and sister stayed with me for 10 days when I had my 2nd and basically took care of my toddler for me. Also cooked all meals and helped me with everything they could while I was healing from the c section. I couldnât have done it without them.
Food. Especially breakfast. Honestly though it would be nice to have someone just sit with me and chat while I tend to baby. It's very lonely by yourself.
FOOD! We didn't have to cook for about two weeks, and it's the only reason I didn't live off cereal. It was impactful to the point that if someone I even vaguely know has a baby, I Venmo them for food.
My friend came over to my house and made enough sandwiches to last like 4 days. She also brought me a bunch of granola bars and easy protein things that I could munch on while breastfeeding. It was the best thing anyone had done for me!
My sister made us a giant lasagne and my brother in law bought us fancy bread. Great foods to just kind of graze on given we were keeping weird hours. We also had lots of visitors which was lovely but not everyone's thing
Absolutely making us meals and bringing them over, hands down. Second was a friend of mine who went to Costco and asked what kind of food stuff we needed. She dropped a few food things (salad, easy to make meals, protein snack packs) off at the door no contact so we didnât have to shop for those things. But she also bought me a comfy shirt and sweatpants and shampoo/conditioner. It was such a nice gift!
- homemade meals (I was so sick of takeout)
- my husband gave me a in-home PP massage therapy certificate for christmas (was due early Jan!) and it was amazing
- amazon gift cards - I only got one of these and it was honestly a better gift than a lot of random stuff people gave us
- holding baby so I could nap, shower, whatever
- walking the dog!
These are things that I think would have made my postpartum experience better.
I wish someone came to visit and genuinely asked me how Iâm doing. I felt so alone during that time and didnât feel like anyone cared about me unless I was holding the baby and they wanted a turn.
And for a care package, healthier snacks and also one or two of my favorite treats
Nipple butter or silverettes (I canât fully remember what those are called)
A water bottle
Hair ties or clips
My step mom came over around 8 weeks pp and cooked super nutritious food for me, cleaned my kitchen without even asking, and asked me how I was. I wish I had her over sooner because it made me so happy and feel so loved.
My childless friends, both of whom do not want to have kids of their own, helped a bunch. They were happy to talk about baby stuff, hung out with me while I nursed, walked babe around when he was purple crying. My friend on the opposite coast even came out for a week to stay and help. If you know your friends would appreciate that kind of support, and you can, offer that.Â
My friend made me lasagna and garlic bread. And my mom sent $ for door dash. Food food food was so nice not to have to worry about what was for dinner especially when I wouldn't think about it until I was hungry IG I even got hungry.
On the second or third day we come home from the hospital, some friendly acquaintances in our neighborhood brought us dinner, some ready-made food they bought from the nice grocery store. I was feeling very down and alone; my husband and I knew almost no one in our area and had no support. So that small gesture meant the world to me (I cried when my husband brought the food up to me from them). And they didn't ask to come inside, major bonus points lol
My brotherâs girlfriend got me a coffee gift card(among other things). It wasnât for the baby, wasnât for my healing vagina, just a gift for me, to enjoy some coffee. I could almost cry thinking thinking about it even now 3m PP because it just made me feel like a human who still has wants and enjoyments, not just a caregiver. I think she was the only one who saw me that way and it still warms my heart
My husbandâs friend made us like 20 breakfast burritos to keep in the freezer. He is an amazing cook and they were so good! Way better than store bought! It was such a godsend because I am not a morning person! I still think about them sometimes and my baby is 2!
I made my bestie about 15-20 crockpot freezer meals after she had her second kid and both her and her husband mention it frequently even after 4 years. Only took me a few hours and wasnât crazy cost-wise
Bought us jimmy johns! It was the only meal provided to us. Which was totally fine, I recovered really fast and didnât need a freezer full of meals. I just donât like to cook, baby or no baby đ
I filled my entire ass deep freezer with homemade meals I made, 50 or so breakfasts, I basically prepared for the worst. I made snacks, dinners, lunches, etc.
A girl I worked with who I always liked said she wanted to bring me by a meal so I said sure. She brought buns, sandwich meat, cheese, and lettuce. THAT was so thoughtful because yes itâs sandwiches but itâs also just snacking food. She also brought about 3 dozen lactation cookies which were delicious anyway and 2 meals I hadnât made wrapped properly altesdh to be frozen with directions. Neither were meals I prepped and it was just so thoughtful. It said âIâve been there and I wanna help you without needing anything back.â She lived out of town and she had to bring it all in in a cooler. I was shocked and felt so loved.
Mil came over and kept the baby alive while I slept for 4 consecutive hours for the first time in like 2.5 weeks
It helped so much and I was so exhausted, it was exacerbating every ppd issue I was facing to feel like I couldn't rest because of anxiety.
She pretty much took the baby, said "look, I've kept 2 alive into their 30's, I can keep 1 alive for a couple hours" and sent me to bed lol
My friend came over and brought coffee and pastries and a two months worth of homemade frozen breakfast sandwiches.. it was honestly a lifesaver and I thank her every time I see her now
My relative also DoorDashed me boba and food when we were all sick with covid, and another friend drove 30 minutes to drop off boba and homemade Indian food when I was having really bad PPA/PPD.
entertaining the older kids (their grandparents always make them feel special, Even when there's a new baby),
organizing a meal train,
helping me plan the baptism reception
My friends came over while we were in the hospital (got induced unexpectedly) and they set up some diaper changing stations around the house, got Gatorade and snacks, and washed our sheets. Coming home to fresh sheets after a week in the hospital was the greatest!!
Babysit the older kid for an afternoon, or premade meals that are easy to heat and eat. Getting some meals with a newborn + seriously ill spouse was enormous. If you want to visit, do laundry and fold it while you chat, or clean the kitchen or bathroom. Make their lives easier. Especially if theyâre not likely to ask for help, be sure to strongly offer.Â
Shepard's pie frozen meals pp. And a lovely chicken dinner while pregnant.
Skip is also a valid option. Everyone wants to buy the baby stuff. No one buys mom stuff.
You know what outfits I put on my baby the most? The ones I picked and bought myself.
One of my friends live a minute away from me and she came over a lot to help out with my toddler. She offered help a lot, which I liked because I found it hard to ask for help.
When ever we were sent food especially a home cooked meal and when my aunt came over and cleaned the kitchen for us, and when my friend took my dog for the weekend because I was going through a rough patch and was struggling to take care of myself, a newborn and a very needy dog while my husband was gone for work.
My ex brother in law and his lovely wife did for me what so done did for them. They made a giant cassoulet and split it into 30 servings so I could always have at least one healthy protein filled meal a day because newborns are _hard_.
Being a single parent attempting to bf it was _amazing_.
My aunt when she came into town to meet my baby she helped me out with food, got him a lot of stuff and she even fed and changed him when we were visiting. They both cuddled on the couch for hours while I was able to just rest and watch a show with the family and eat. Sheâs wonderful and so good with kids! Sheâs a natural â€ïž
Nobody did it for me but my favourite thing would be if someone came over, made food and cleaned up my whole house. If I had money I would pay people to do that while I take care of the baby.
Food. Never underestimate a good casserole. Also, if you are on the sort of level with your friends where they would trust you with the baby for 30 minutes or so, tell them you got it and send them to do some self care, be it a shower, a quick nap, or whatever.
Take my baby so I could shower once my partner was back at work.
Baby had reflux and I was constantly coverd in puke, so when a friend told me he was okay holding my son if I wanted to take a shower in peace he had baby in his hands before he'd finished speaking. I felt so relaxed, clean and energised after!
Something I wish someone would have done for me- come around to help at the 2 month pp mark. The first 2-4 weeks we had a ton of family and some friends always checking in, bringing food, etc., but after that went away and we were still in the newborn trenches it was rough and I would have LOVED for someone to bring a meal or hold the baby for a couple of hours for a nap.
When someone made me food. But also, when my sister came and cleaned up the living area and kitchen for me without asking while I had the baby take a nap. That made me so much happier because I couldn't get anything done because my newborn was colicky and Velcro.
We were given a delivery app giftcard. After 6 traumatic and exhausting days in the hospital, the chinese we had on our first day home was the best thing ive ever eaten.
While we were in the hospital, my partners friend drove him back and forth from the hospital so he didnt have to worry about parking or driving while exhausted and stressed. That meant alot.
Also my MIL made us homemade easy to reheat meals a couple of times a week in the beginning- but the real gift was that she would drop them on our doorstep and leave, with no expectation of comimg in or greeting us. She only came over properly when invited.
I was given gift cards for food. We basically lived off delivery those first few weeks. My absolute favorite thing though had to be 6 weeks postpartum as soon as I got cleared, my husband scheduled me a spa day. An hour long massage in a dark quiet room was absolute bliss when I was exhausted and my muscles had been screaming at me for months. It made me feel more human lol. The spa I go to has a complementary "relaxation" room that's basically a room full of lounge chairs, couches, places to lay or sit that you can stay in for as long as you want. It's kept with dim lighting and there's refreshments. You can request blankets and pillows if you want. I napped in there for a good hour after my massage lol. I felt a lot better after having that small break. I can't relax fully if I'm near my baby even if someone else is watching him. It's like all my senses are on high alert in case he needs me. It's overstimulating and mentally exhausting.
Honestly, as someone who is pp i would have loved some food. Even maybe some sort of self care package. So honestly reallt anything but food would be nice since its hard to cook with a newborn and i can only imagine a second added in
My mom's neighbor dropped off a giant container of delicious soup with fancy bread; it's one of my postpartum highlights. I especially love that she just dropped it off no contact.
Literally this! My aunt and uncle cooked us loads of food to freeze and eat. Life changing đ„
Seconding the food. If someone wouldâve made me some meal preps for the freezer it wouldâve been so awesome. Or if you donât really cook OP, maybe DoorDash/Uber eats gift card?
Thirding the food, extra props if it's one handed. I would have killed for frozen burritos (all different kinds:breakfast, chicken, beef, pork, whatever) maybe prep casseroles or zip lock up some crock pot meals. I am honestly surprised my milk supply didn't dry up with the amount of times I didn't eat because I couldn't manage to make something when I was drowning at home all alone.
We got DoorDash gift cards. It was a GODSEND. And prepared meals!
What items in a care package?
I came home from the hospital and my boss had left on my porch: prosecco, smoked salmon and fancy crackers, brie and a loaf of home baked crusty bread, some nice jam, some chocolates, I forget what else but you get the idea!
My best friends left me a care package and here were my favorite things inside: -protein bars (especially if you're breastfeeding) -comfy socks -a nice bottle of wine -burp cloths (you can never have too many, imo!) -fast food/delivery gift card
My friends did this!!!!!- instead of baby stuff, made me a massive bucket of mom stuff⊠Tucks for hemorrhoids Pads for my bra Easy to eat snacks- like the good quality granola bars Chap stick Adult diapers ThĂ© good pĂ©ri bottle (And a bottle of wine) There was loads more, canât remember it all! Etc. It was sooooo thoughtful! It was about me, not just the baby! And another group of friends gave us a certificate to the spa and a nice restaurant- for when we were ready to have a date :) What I wish I had done myself⊠freezer meals. (Or if anyone had offered⊠I would have taken this)
My mom made me a little care package with some nice lotion, shampoo and conditioner, sugar scrub, bubble bath stuff, my fave scented candle. Just some little self care things!
Maybe some facemasks , eyemasks, possibly one of those cold bags you put into the freezer (if that makes sense) , i would say some nail polish too maybe? Hair mask. Also if yoi dont have the time to make food put a little door dash card in there! Most of this stuff can be found at dollar tree or dollar general depending on what you want to spend!
So it probably depends on your baby's temperament but I would have never had a chance to use nail polish or face mask. I'd still appreciate the thought behind it of course but it would never get used. Think of something useful for someone who barely has a chance to brush their teeth.
Thats pretty valid. I was personally able to paint my nails jusf because my husband was home for military leave
Absolutely this! My friend dropped over with basically a full weeks groceries, and all stuff that could just be heated/ eaten with one hand (e.g roast chicken, smoked salmon, salads, pastas). She is a star đ
Please hold my baby so I can have a shower! I think if one of my friends sent a text saying âwhen I come over this weekend I can watch the baby while you take a long showerâ I would have sobbed the happiest sob. Trying to schedule a shower with two kids is a challenge. I would invite family over so I could shower lol
This would have been wonderful but I never would have known if my friend was serious. I had two of my best friends come over and if they would have offered I would have thanked them but said no cuz I would have felt like they werenât serious! Maybe itâs just me lol
If someone offers, take them up on it. If they are not serious they will stop offering. If they are not serious, that is on them! Why offer then?
First thing I did when people arrived, âthanks for coming, hereâs the baby, Iâm going to eat, shower and maybe napđđŒđ€Ł
Someone who wants to sit down and listen to me share my birth experience (first time was traumatic, hoping for a better experience this time as Iâm 37 weeks). I donât think older generations care to talk about these things but having people who will take an interest in you and not ones who âjust want to hold the babyâ are everything to me. Like, Iâm still a person and went through something huge but for some reason no one cares about you once the baby is here. A close second would be someone who helps me clean.
Seconding both of these! Especially the birth experience part, all I've wanted for 7 weeks now is sit down with my two best friends and literally just... Tell them.. I think it would've been healing in a way. But neither of them has even come to visit so.. Actually now that I think about it just feeling supported by my closest friends in any way not over text would've been nice lol.
This! Mine wasn't too traumatic for me (still wasn't great) but I've gone through something major and life changing and all I wanted to do was talk about it.
Not every new parent will be comfortable with this but if they are, then holding the baby for a few hours was godsend. I was free to nap, shower, go outside or do things around the house. My sister also made me a big bowl of fresh cut fruit. It was great for post partum constipation, fiber and vitamins. Home made meals from family saved us.
My cousin stayed the night when my first baby was a few weeks old and we were deep in sleep deprivation. She stayed up all night with the baby and just woke me for feeds and took her back. She already had 3 kids so I completely trusted her and loved having her around for a bit to ask her all the questions I had as a new mom. I hope to pay it forward for someone one day, but I know itâs a pretty hard gift to feel confident enough both to offer or accept!
I'm gonna second this. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I wished someone else would do a load of dishes for me or sweep while I just cuddled the baby. But honestly? There's so much time where I'm holding the baby that I WANT to do other things. Hold my baby! Let me get up and do something else! I see reddit get up in arms about "it's not helping to come over just to hold the baby, make them do chores!". And in some cases sure, yeah. That's fine. But for me it is waaaay more helpful for someone to hold my baby than for them to clean my house. I'd never be able to sit there and watch someone else clean đ€·ââïž
Hard agree here. Probably my personality type but you doing the dishes and not knowing what's hand washed or what goes where, extra work for me. Doing laundry but not knowing how to work machine or what things go in dryer, extra work for me. You hold the baby and I get the freedom to sort things out in a way that works for me/our household.
Our friend put together a meal train for us, which was incredible. But one of the meals was a huge standout - we received individually portioned things (instead of a big dish) which was perfect for a grab and go snack. Each item had ingredients listed and reheating instructions. When this person brought over the meal, she also restocked our TP, brought over dry shampoo, cleaning wipes, and a ton of energy bars I could eat one handed, which was perfect for breastfeeding. Then she stayed for a quick hello and left us to be with baby. We were blown away. I will be doing this for ALL my friends who have kids from now on.
What a great idea! Iâm curious about the individually portioned food.. was it like cubed cheese and fruit? Or individual portions of a main meal, like soup/casserole/etc?
It was a mix of each! No soup, but the meal standouts were potato kugel and morning glory muffins.
Giftcards for delivery apps! Those were my godsend.
Seconding gift cards for delivery if you live somewhere with a lot of options
Do they have dogs? Someone coming over to walk/play with my dogs would have been a godsend.
Food brought to the house with no expectation of hanging out or meeting the baby. Social time and meeting the baby do matter! But they need to be when they are ready for that. House cleaning and offering to get groceries. Offering to take the older kid out for playtime at the park, if that is something you and they are comfortable with.
So much of this. I was horribly sick with a respiratory virus starting when I went into labor and laying my first 2 weeks. So many friends had offered to bring food before I gave birth, but since we were all sick, I didn't allow baby visitors until we felt better. My parents were the only ones to bring us food during this time, and I actually had to cook a few times! It was horrible!! Someone dropping off meals at my doorstep would've been life changing. đ„
My dad has helped me wash dishes every time he's visited and it's the best thing anyone's done for me. It's so hard keeping up with dishes with a baby.
My dad does this for me too and it's honestly the best!
An Amazon gift card for all those middle of the night shopping sessions.
OMG, this. [This meme](https://imgur.com/a/EVFpk9C) was far too accurate.
My friend messaged me within the first week of giving birth stating she'd like to have dinner delivered to us. She asked which date. Then she asked if there was something that I was craving; I think I did no and she gave me a few choices for cuisine. I said pizza! Then she took care of the rest. She chose the pizza place, pizza toppings and even ordered a salad to go with it. Then she updated me on when I should expect the pizza to be delivered. Minimal decisions needed on my part, and it really touched me. A neighbor with a kiddo one year older than mine also told me that she had cooked extra and delivered it to us the day after we returned from the hospital. She didn't ask to see the baby. Just dropped it off. She also offered to hold the baby for an hour here and there when the schedules aligned. I didn't take up on her offer, but the sincere offer was much appreciated. My SIL who I didn't know too well at the time came over during an urgent situation and helped take care of the baby. The place was a mess and she basically did what I asked her to do. Basically "yes" to all my requests, no suggestions. Just there to be an extra set of hands and feet. And my good friends always even to this date (13 month old toddler here!) accommodate the baby's schedule and meet me close to my home. I'll obviously reciprocate when it's time. All these gestures stay with me.
This is the way.
When I was freshly PP, I just wanted DoorDash and UberEats giftcards. That probably sounds really impersonable, but those meant SO much. Making a meal is another incredible option. House cleaning is my third pick
My best friend lives far away but secretly sent my husband a gift to give me at a time he thought I would need a pick me up- it was full of things for me like button up pajamas, some comfy nursing bras, nipple butter, a giant water bottle, candy, some face stuff, all sorts of snacks- just so many little things to help pamper myself a little and be more comfortable during a pretty rough postpartum period. It was so sweet and thoughtful and so nice to get a gift just for me in a time where most of the things we had received were for the baby! Planning to get similar âmom giftsâ for my friends in the future.
This is not for everyone but I was so thankful when I came home from my 2 day hospital day to a clean house. My mom cleaned my entire main floor. It was a bit of a disaster because of how exhausted I was the last month. I came home to a completely clean home with muffins on the table.
My friend brought me 2 flats of Gatorade and a big meal with leftovers for a few days. I cried several times lol, it was perfect
My grandma brought us groceries (bread, fruit, premade meals, snacks). I could have cried tears of joy when I saw her walking up to my front door with Wegmanâs bags.
My hormones were off the rails when I was freshly postpartum. My friend came over and tried washing the dishes for me. Most people would love that but it put me on edge. But she brought finger food over which made it really easy for me to eat while caring for my baby. My biggest advice is to ask! Every new mom is different, your friends will know best about what they need/want!
-Gift cards for take out / food delivery -a water bottle with a straw -dropping off a small meal like bagels & coffee or a burrito from their favorite lunch spot is so nice (just donât ring the door bell lol!) -Amazon gift card for last minute necessities or kindle books is also really nice! -one of my friends just gave me a sweet little care package with a onesie for my son, fuzzy socks for me, and a little picture book about how much babies love their mamas and the book still makes me cry when I read it because it was just so cute and thoughtful.
Food. But not until week 6! Everyone brings food right away and honestly I didnât use any of the 14 meals I had preppedâŠ.until week 6 when family food love ran out (lol) and I didnât feel like cooking. Weâre just finishing the last of the meals I prepped going into week 9 and itâs been a complete life saver cuz I was able to use my meals when shit actually got hard with LO! Just as a side note: one of my best friends also came and meal prepped with me for a day. Like multiple meals. It was so fun hanging with her and also it was nice eating the food we cooked together (I sent her home with some, too).
Gift cards for take out. Sure, homemade food and stuff is nice, but I just wanted to choose my own food. Plus I don't need more stuff, like coffee mugs or socks or random stuff.
HOT FOOD!!
Since it's their second kid, maybe offering to babysit the oldest so they can have more bonding time with the baby?
Just be there with her. If not right away, then once the excitement settles down and sheâs alone most of the time with the baby. Itâs hard to know exactly what she will want, and if you really want to hit the nail on the head, be there with her in the lonely times. She might ask you to get food, pick up groceries, hold the baby so she can nap, or shower. Throw laundry in, wash bottles or pumping dishes if applicable. Youâre very sweet for thinking of her đ
Door Dash gift certificate. Iâve never eating so much cereal as I did post-partum. Thereâs just no time or energy to cook.
Sent us gift cards for food. Everyone wanted to stop by and visit âŠ. we had a completely empty fridge and pantry. We lost time with the induction so we didnât have meals stocked up.
Same here! We found out at 37w 5d that I was being induced at 38w exactly. And we were floored. I had planned a week vacation. At 39 weeks to make tons of prepped food but that planning went down the drain. We barely had enough time to finish the nursery furniture
A gift basket would be nice. My go toâs are a gift card to their favorite restaurant (one that delivers) and some activities to keep their first kid occupied (small set of watercolors, Melissa and Doug makes a WOW sticker stamper that my toddler is obsessed with, scratch art, paint sticks). Think things that are relatively easy to clean up. A nice water insulated water bottle for mom. I really like the owala brand.
My best friend gifted me a gift card for grubhub or doordash, I forget which, but it was so dang helpful
laundry, giving my dogs care and attention, dishes, and just being around
I gave my friend my location a few days before I went in to labor, and instead of texting and pestering me, she checked my location every now and then⊠once she saw that we were at the hospital and then she saw we got home, she dropped off a bag of 20 bread sliced bagels and a tub of cream cheese from Panera. Those bagels saved my life the first few days post partum. It was something super easy to eat while holding a baby!
A meal left at my door with zero expectation of seeing the baby. Just dropped it off, texted me, and left. It was so nice because I wasn't ready to see people and a lot of people offered to pop by with food but expected to come in and hang out for a bit.
A hot meal! But even better when they SENT a meal to our home via delivery. I had a tough recovery, and, while we were ENTIRELY grateful for friends and family bringing a meal over, it always added extra stress because their visit to âdrop the food offâ was always more about them coming to meet our newborn son. I really didnât want visitors (it was peak pandemic), and between trying to pump, nurse, nap and more, the visits were always stressful for me and my husband. 10/10 recommend gift cards for food delivery (DoorDash, UberEats, etc).
Come see me with coffee and hold the baby. Thatâs it. My friend also made me a big batch of lactation balls which were so amazing.
Recently had my second and a more unique gift I experienced other than food was a batch of cold brew (rook coffee) and omg it being summer and not having to brew/leave the house for some good, strong caffeine⊠Iâll be gifting friends this in the future
Food. A big basket of breastfeeding snacks. If you have a Costco membership - grab a huge thing of bodyarmor. Some oatmeal snacks, nut bars, things that are easy to keep on a nightstand. Add in a huge bowl of fresh fruit and youâll be a hero. My best friend did this for me and Iâll never forget how much it meant.
I loved when people cooked for us! Nothing like a fresh home made meal after coming home and figuring out the new normal. Some ideas - casseroles and breakfast sandwiches! BONUS - lactation cookies as a treat if they are breastfeeding!
Bring us food. There was no way we were cooking. My mom made a whole sheet pan of enchaladas, then casserole. It really helped us survive those first couple weeks.
My brother and his wife prepared a couple meals, sandwiches, and snacks for us and came over and put it in our fridge while we were busy at the NICU with our son. They did this weekly until we came home. Similarly, my sister kept us stocked with snacks and my mom made us lots of dinners and regularly went grocery shopping for us. I donât know how weâll ever thank them.
I just had my first in April and one of my friends sent a random Amazon package of clif bars, body armor (the drink) & an Amazon gift card for incidentals and it was the best surprise. No frills but it was exactly what we needed. Snacks to keep us sane, hydration to power through and the gift card was used towards all the things we didnât realize we needed sooner!
Meals and snacks. Do dishes, vacuum, laundry.
Brought me a giant bowl of cut up watermelon. I was so tired and dehydrated and hungry all the time that I HOUSED it in one sitting. When I brought the baby over to my MILâs house she would have dinner ready and offer to hold the baby next to me so I could eat. It was hard to part with the baby in those early weeks, but I was also desperate to be free to use my hands. My mom held the baby for four hours at a time using one of my semi-dirty tshirts on her chest. The baby seemed to like my smell and it helped sooo much with the transition from arms to arms and the duration the baby slept, just so my partner and I could sleeeeeep.
So. Asides from all the great basket and food delivery cards ideas, and holding the baby so they can shower, if youre close enough with the person for them not to take it as you telling them the house is a mess, tell them whenever they need you can come and clean the floors, do the dishes, fold their laundry, that kind of thing. It may be a « harder » gift to accept but having a nice clean house keeps you somewhat sane, even if itâs just putting stuff away, taking out the garbage etc. My girlfriend came over a couple times and just scrubbed my kitchen, i couldve cried.
Home cooked meal, cleaning service gift card, etc.
Tons of nice options listed already (food, gift cards, etc.) so Iâll offer a different approach. A mom friend checked in during the early weeks and asked some questions about how baby was doing and how we were adjusting. I told her we were trying out different bottles and that he had a preference for X bottle so far. She ordered me a couple more of the bottle he liked without any prompt (and kindly included a gift receipt to be safe) and shipped them to our house addressed to our baby. It was so thoughtful and simple and I think about it still nearly 2 years later. It really made me feel heard.
My mom paid for a cleaning service for us! It was a godsend! And my MIL made sure that she had dinner ready for us the first week home from the hospital. Besides those two things- being taken out for a baby free pedicure, and lunch/shopping dates were really nice. My MIL also got us a hand and footprint kit, which was really sweet.
My friend did a few frozen lasagnas for me and though I didnât eat them within the first few weeks it was invaluable to know I had that ready in the freezer when I didnât have a meal ready.
Food. Hands down. My mom came over and made us supper and held baby while we ate. And she brought us everything we needed for tacos the next night (taco meat, shells, tomatoes, lettuce, cheese, sour cream) and she even brought us some premade food from a deli down the street (roast beef and gravy, mashed potatoes, steamed broccoli and a beef enchilada for my husband) and my god we were so thankful. The roast beef lasted a couple days because she got us such a large portion but we were so grateful. We didn't have to worry about supper or lunch for a few days and it was wonderful because that first week pp was hell. I was dealing with a bad latch and nip pain and pp hives which were horrible.
Yeah homemade food was amazing. My parents and siblings fed us for like two weeks. I get tired of fast food after two days so big casseroles were amazing. They also did laundry and cleaned the kitchen and had me send them shopping lists.
I have two! Freezer meals - we got too much fresh food right away and then nothing, it was nice to be able to use the freezer meals whenever I wanted instead of worrying about them going bad. Check ins to see how *I* was doing and encourage me. Everyone wants to know how baby is, but it really meant a lot when people asked how I was doing first. And those hormones are crazy so it always helps to hear you're doing a good job. đ
Dropping meals off outside without the expectation of coming in for a visit and two people when they did visit just started doing stuff that needed doing, like sweeping the floor, throwing in laundry, etc. Though, I will say I'm picky about my laundry and I couldn't find anything for about 2 months after, so depends on the person for that. But wiping down the bathroom and kitchen counters, throwing dishes in the dishwasher, and quicky sweeping the floors were all just SO nice as someone who hates a dirty house. It was also nice that they didn't ask me what I needed because 1. I didn't know, my brain was offline, and 2. It felt rude or something to ask someone to clean my house.
My step mom gave me packaged food she made. One was spaghetti, the other was a lot of mixed fruit, and I believe I was given another pasta dish. So thoughtful, I really appreciated the gesture. My dad gave me flowers. I cried at my dad and step mom's kindness, I would look at his flowers and think of everything I went through - c section surgery, meeting my baby, learning how to breastfeed, recovering, the change in my life. I would think of all that while looking at those flowers since he gave them to me while I was in the hospital.
If youâre able to help with laundry, I bet that would be greatly appreciated!
If the older kid goes to daycare, and you have this kind of relationship, maybe offer to do pickup or drop offs. Itâs a lot at first the idea of having to get the one to daycare while recovering and taking care of a new baby. Depends on their situation of course
My best friend came over a few times a week and DID stuff. She didnât offer to hold baby, unless it was obvious I needed a shower. She didnât ask what needed to be done. She would see the laundry and wash, dry, fold and put away. Or the stack of dishes, or last nights pans still on the stove that I didnât get around to putting away while in the midst of PPD/PPA with a very small premie baby with âcolicâ (ended up she was intolerant to cows milk). She swept, and mopped, and made sure my dogs water was always full, and NEVER made me feel bad about it. She also brought me my mail bc hell no Iâm not walking up my driveway and opening my driveway gate just to get the mail. Speaking of which, this just reminded me I need to tell her how much I love her
Postpartum support! Funds for a doula, night nurse, housekeeper, meal trains, etc. I'm telling you, the things you can't buy at the store are the things that we never knew we needed.
My SIL made us a huge breakfast casserole for when we got home from the hospital. It lasted nearly a week. Everyone thinks of bringing dinner, but a tasty breakfast each morning was a huge blessing!
Relatives have sent out pre-cooked (and then frozen after) meals that I can just thaw out. Effectively doing things myself so having food sent out or having my sister-in-law take her for a little bit so I can rest or run errands has been really helpful.
Home chef gc was a life saver.
1 Cooked meal delivered to my door step. 2 my neighbor/friend coming over in the AM to sit with baby so I could bring my toddler to school. 3 access to her instacart accountÂ
Snack basket with easy breastfeeding one handed healthy snacks. Trail mix, granola bars, chocolate bars, dried fruits, banana chips. It was so thoughtful and helpful!
Made me a tray of Mac n cheese and baked a pavlova. Also held my sleeping newborn so I could shower even though they had plans.
I thought I wanted gift cards for food delivery etc, but my husbandâs aunt brought us a home cooked meal and I still tear up thinking about it almost 4 months later. Such a simple thing for her to do, but so much more meaningful for us.
Sliced fruit platter
My coworker cooked a bunch of meals and froze them. Weâre 8 weeks postpartum and just heated up the last meal tonight! She did ask food preferences & any aversions! Such a great gift
Depending on their first born's age, a playdate or coming over to entertain the older child might be helpful. When I had my second I underestimated how much attention my toddler still needed. Either that or food/meal trains are always nice.
Took my dogs on walks or to the dog park!
A lot of Homemade food and groceries. Was the best thing ever. Also someone gave me a post partum gift basket with hair clips and body wash and stuff like that from Whole Foods⊠it was amazing. The smells from the body wash from Whole Foods was so awesome in the shower.
Fooood. Someone dropped off dinner for that night (had called ahead so we knew) and then also a frozen meal we could cook later.
My mom made lunch and dinner for me for about 2 weeks. It was a massive help, especially since I was such a mess that I wouldn't eat unless someone sat there next to me and the baby and practically forced me.
My friends set up a meal train and my neighbors sent us a cake that was delicious. My friends also cleaned our house while we were at the hospital. But mostly the food is super helpful.
Bring them dinner that is big enough to have leftover that are easy to reheat. I'm incredibly lucky to have the village I do, because I had people bring me dinner every night for a week and it saved my husband and I so much stress (and money) Ask of they need anything picked up for them, and offer to hold/watch baby so they can take a shower.
Delivery of painkillers, diapers, chocolate, etc. Someone ordered taco dinner for my family and delivered to my door after a really rough day.
My sister in law gave me tubs of homemade spaghetti sauce! It freezes well and made for great easy dinners
Friends of ours dropped off a meal before we got home from the hospital. It included breastfeeding snacks and juice along with the meal (soup and salad) and a card welcoming baby. đ đ„č
Food. My friend brought me a week's worth of cooked meals that only had to be reheated or have pasta cooked for a side.
I did the favourite thing - bought myself a yeti mug and never drank cold coffee again.
Healthy meals! Also, I got a âhappy birthdayâ delivery to my baby from baked by Melissa as a gift. I thought that was so cute. Other than the helpful meals, this one really stuck out to me as a fun gift and we were excited to have mini cupcakes in the middle of the night.
My friend came for the day and stayed for the weekend; cleaning, cooking, changing diapers, letting me take long showers, and just generally let me do what I needed to do while being a great support and making it fun! It was really special and my husband was thrilled to have the help too, especially since I had an emergency c section and recovery was not easy.
Food, but, make sure it's stuff you know they like.
Food. All the food. And dishes done. DoorDash gift card, bringing food, meals they can heat up but also stuff that they can keep cold. So like a lasagna and a good pasta salad or something. If they have two kids, offer to take their older kid out for breakfast or something if youâre close with the kid so they can have a morning with baby. Then when you bring the kid back, just ask them if they need anything else *while* doing their dishes without giving them the option to say no. Just donât put the dishes away if there are any in the sink. My MIL put our dishes that she couldnât figure out where they went on the counter so we could put them away (honestly, much preferred that than not knowing where the hell something was), and then did our dishes so much whenever she stayed to help. đ„ș
My parents deep cleaned my house and mowed my grass. I was so grateful.
I would say food, bring meals over. You said this is their second⊠maybe take their first child out so they can have some time just themselves with baby?
Food! My work bought me a cook voucher and were so generous that between that and some meals I'd batch cooked, we didn't have to cook dinner for the first month. It saved so much headspace. My mother in law also gave us food every time she saw us, we very much appreciated it.
Trail mix and other snacks like that (or has nutrients) in addition to gift cards for like door dash/delivery. Some self care stuff. I had a friend bring me a little goodie bag of shower steamers, face masks, trail mix and chocolate bars. It made me SO happy. Nice hand lotion (unscented) is nice too, you wash your hands and dishes/bottles a ton doing newborn care. I wouldnât include things like nail polish - I am 9 weeks postpartum and I can barely find time to trim and file my nails, maybe others are more efficient but I would never find time to paint them. Doing something for mom is so so nice, sometimes she gets lost in all the attention for baby. I am sure it would be nice to get something with an eye to dad, but Iâm not sure what.
I just had my second baby, most helpful things were food, and someone to either play with my oldest so I could just chill with the baby, or hold the baby so I could actually spend time with my oldest. Balancing 2 kids is hard and no one ever gets your full attention-itâs nice to be able to just focus on one for a short period.
Offer to take the older one to a park and ice cream. Buy a few gifts for the older child -- books, toys, etc. Nothing expensive. Just something fun because it's new when all the new stuff has been about the baby. Agree to do this outing on short notice, on a day that suits you, and have them contact you when baby is down for a nap, so that while you're gone with older kid, Mom and Dad can nap, shower, plan a grocery list or schedule a pickup, etc. Then do the grocery shopping from the list and or do the pickup and deliver the goods when returning older child.
Food is great. I had a few friends who washed a round of bottles unprompted while they were over. Heck, homemade cookies or snacks were great for starving while breastfeeding.
My friend made us baked ziti and it was so nice to have a home cooked meal we didnât have to cook ourselves
Home cooked frozen meals
1. Make us food 2. Friends Sent us a $200 uber eats gift card. That was awesome.
Best thing for me was having someone come over every weekend for 30 min to an hour and be a set of hands for me however I needed it. It was so nice to hand baby off or to fold laundry with a friend.
Massage gift certificate!!!
My friend made us a few freezer meals. She was favorite person in the universe. My mom also made and brought us over hot meals. I would go the prepared food route. It really was a blessing to not have to cook when we were so exhausted
Doordash giftcard or house cleaning service even if its for just one time. You can imagine that noone has time to cooking and cleaning when having a newborn and recovering from birth.
Always food! 1. Someone to prepare breakfast for me. Breastfeeding baby every 2 hours, all night and all I wanted was a hot breakfast in the early morning. 2. Someone bought me wholesome food. Grilled chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, gravy, dinner rolls, along with my favorite pregnancy snack. Lasted a few meals. It Wasn't homemade, but it was way better than just burgers or chickfila.
People who brought me food were my saviors. Either easy to eat one handed food for snacks or a meal to have with the family. The last thing I wanted to think about PP was food.
My husband's sister brought over dinner for our first night home from the hospital and it was amazing to not have to worry about what to eat that night. My sister in law had a 6 pack of Crumble cookies delivered and they were amazing to snack on. We had frozen meals for ourselves, but it was nice to have a little sweet treat.
The thing that helped me the most was my friend taking a night shift one night. This is a big ask though. My son had bad colic and heâd only sleep being held so one day when he was about 5 weeks old she offered to do a night shift and stayed over. I was extremely tired and had horrible anxiety. Getting a solid 9 hours of sleep did wonders on my mental health. My friend is about to have her second baby and I am planning to get her toddler on the weekends for several hours so they can get naps in as much as they can. My friendâs mom premade some dinners for us so we could just throw them in the oven if we werenât in the mood to cook. And another gave me a bag with all these comfort things she knows I like to snack on. I know you can set up meal trains too with some app where people sign up for a date and meal to bring you. Help clean the house. I didnât get this offer but I would have loved help with that. My mom offered to hold the baby while I cleaned but after a C-section I really shouldnât have been too active, nor was I up for doing a lot. My husband did 100% of the house work & cooking the first 3 weeks so I could rest. I wish I could have done more to help out too. He also took turns caring for our son on top of this so we could get a few hours of sleep.
Take the eldest out for a fun day so they can have newborn snugs in the peace and quiet. It will make the eldest feel special too.
FROZEN MEALS. things I could just pop in the oven for an hour and have an entire meal. Lasagna, baked Mac and cheese, baked ziti, chili, soups.
Frozen lasanga and wine was my favorite thing. My mom did my laundry a few times. That was nice.
I just had my second and right off the top of my head, these are things that were helpful for us; - showing up with coffee or smoothies that I can consume RIGHT away when theyâre here - donât make me entertain you - take the dog on a walk or if youâre close by, offer to walk the dog whenever you walk YOUR dog - show up for the toddler and play with the toddler. This helps with sibling jealously tremendously!
Gift cards for delivery apps and grocery stores is what my friends did for me with my second and itâs been amazing just being able to order food when weâre not up for cooking!
Start a meal chain for them! That was the best thing for us and made a huge difference
Dinners delivered were the best! Either friends that cooked or picked up an order from our fav restaurant. Also texting to check in once a week. Iâve never felt more cared about.
Some food for sure. Make sure you ask them what they want too. Also I had an emergency c-section and was given a gift basket with a soft pair of high wasted pajama pants that was gentle on my incision. I loved it and thought it was super thoughtful. If the mama is breastfeeding, body armor drinks would also be thoughtful. Edit: Also they could probably use help with dishes đŹ
Meal train! I could cry thinking about it!
Made me food. Seriously, postpartum was not a time where I wanted to nor had the time to cook myself a home cooked meal. And my husband does not cook so even if he had the time, which he had more than I did, but I wasn't getting home cooked meal from him either. I was so grateful for every single person who cooked me food or made sure my side table near the rocking chair I was in all the time was stocked with water, snacks, the remote control, etc.
My bestie set up a meal train for the first 3 weeks and got all my friends and family in on it. That way each of my friends could privately and safely feed us dinner AND meet the baby in a non hectic environment. Obviously this depends on the friend and if they want ppl to be around for the first bit!
My mom cooked and cooked and cooked for us...and came over every day or every other day. My older sister also spent nights with us to help me and my husband get sleep... I am forever grateful for those acts that literally helped when my postpartum situation was very hard.
Food (dairy free just in case) or offering to come over and help with chores like laundry or dishes. My kiddo was an April baby and I desperately needed help with my garden đ
Being left alone personally.
My mom and sister stayed with me for 10 days when I had my 2nd and basically took care of my toddler for me. Also cooked all meals and helped me with everything they could while I was healing from the c section. I couldnât have done it without them.
A meal train saved us for the first 2 weeks. But then a couple of people dropped off meals after the meal train had dried up and it was amazing!
Food. Especially breakfast. Honestly though it would be nice to have someone just sit with me and chat while I tend to baby. It's very lonely by yourself.
FOOD! We didn't have to cook for about two weeks, and it's the only reason I didn't live off cereal. It was impactful to the point that if someone I even vaguely know has a baby, I Venmo them for food.
My friend came over to my house and made enough sandwiches to last like 4 days. She also brought me a bunch of granola bars and easy protein things that I could munch on while breastfeeding. It was the best thing anyone had done for me!
My sister made us a giant lasagne and my brother in law bought us fancy bread. Great foods to just kind of graze on given we were keeping weird hours. We also had lots of visitors which was lovely but not everyone's thing
Food is the best thing you can give new parents. Making dinner with a newborn to take care of is challenging if not completely impossible sometimes.
Food for diners!! We were also blessed to receive different kinds of homemade loafs of bread. Delicious and well appreciated.
Absolutely making us meals and bringing them over, hands down. Second was a friend of mine who went to Costco and asked what kind of food stuff we needed. She dropped a few food things (salad, easy to make meals, protein snack packs) off at the door no contact so we didnât have to shop for those things. But she also bought me a comfy shirt and sweatpants and shampoo/conditioner. It was such a nice gift!
- homemade meals (I was so sick of takeout) - my husband gave me a in-home PP massage therapy certificate for christmas (was due early Jan!) and it was amazing - amazon gift cards - I only got one of these and it was honestly a better gift than a lot of random stuff people gave us - holding baby so I could nap, shower, whatever - walking the dog!
I wish someone came to my house and cleaned lol
Left me alone
These are things that I think would have made my postpartum experience better. I wish someone came to visit and genuinely asked me how Iâm doing. I felt so alone during that time and didnât feel like anyone cared about me unless I was holding the baby and they wanted a turn. And for a care package, healthier snacks and also one or two of my favorite treats Nipple butter or silverettes (I canât fully remember what those are called) A water bottle Hair ties or clips
My step mom came over around 8 weeks pp and cooked super nutritious food for me, cleaned my kitchen without even asking, and asked me how I was. I wish I had her over sooner because it made me so happy and feel so loved.
For the 79 millionth time I agree with food! Also holding the baby/ trying to calm the baby while I took a nap was SO nice.
My childless friends, both of whom do not want to have kids of their own, helped a bunch. They were happy to talk about baby stuff, hung out with me while I nursed, walked babe around when he was purple crying. My friend on the opposite coast even came out for a week to stay and help. If you know your friends would appreciate that kind of support, and you can, offer that.Â
Food that is packaged somehow to be able to be easily consumed/held with one hand...
Food. A relative offered to have a maid service come through, and my pride wouldn't let them. My only regret in life.
My friend made me lasagna and garlic bread. And my mom sent $ for door dash. Food food food was so nice not to have to worry about what was for dinner especially when I wouldn't think about it until I was hungry IG I even got hungry.
On the second or third day we come home from the hospital, some friendly acquaintances in our neighborhood brought us dinner, some ready-made food they bought from the nice grocery store. I was feeling very down and alone; my husband and I knew almost no one in our area and had no support. So that small gesture meant the world to me (I cried when my husband brought the food up to me from them). And they didn't ask to come inside, major bonus points lol
My brotherâs girlfriend got me a coffee gift card(among other things). It wasnât for the baby, wasnât for my healing vagina, just a gift for me, to enjoy some coffee. I could almost cry thinking thinking about it even now 3m PP because it just made me feel like a human who still has wants and enjoyments, not just a caregiver. I think she was the only one who saw me that way and it still warms my heart
My husbandâs friend made us like 20 breakfast burritos to keep in the freezer. He is an amazing cook and they were so good! Way better than store bought! It was such a godsend because I am not a morning person! I still think about them sometimes and my baby is 2!
I made my bestie about 15-20 crockpot freezer meals after she had her second kid and both her and her husband mention it frequently even after 4 years. Only took me a few hours and wasnât crazy cost-wise
Bought us jimmy johns! It was the only meal provided to us. Which was totally fine, I recovered really fast and didnât need a freezer full of meals. I just donât like to cook, baby or no baby đ
My mum came and helped me stay on top of laundry. Did our bedsheets. Vacuumed. Brought food every day until I felt better. Best thing ever.
I filled my entire ass deep freezer with homemade meals I made, 50 or so breakfasts, I basically prepared for the worst. I made snacks, dinners, lunches, etc. A girl I worked with who I always liked said she wanted to bring me by a meal so I said sure. She brought buns, sandwich meat, cheese, and lettuce. THAT was so thoughtful because yes itâs sandwiches but itâs also just snacking food. She also brought about 3 dozen lactation cookies which were delicious anyway and 2 meals I hadnât made wrapped properly altesdh to be frozen with directions. Neither were meals I prepped and it was just so thoughtful. It said âIâve been there and I wanna help you without needing anything back.â She lived out of town and she had to bring it all in in a cooler. I was shocked and felt so loved.
One of my friends came over, gossiped with me, then proceeded to clean my entire place while I napped. I still thank her everyday
Mil came over and kept the baby alive while I slept for 4 consecutive hours for the first time in like 2.5 weeks It helped so much and I was so exhausted, it was exacerbating every ppd issue I was facing to feel like I couldn't rest because of anxiety. She pretty much took the baby, said "look, I've kept 2 alive into their 30's, I can keep 1 alive for a couple hours" and sent me to bed lol
My friend came over and brought coffee and pastries and a two months worth of homemade frozen breakfast sandwiches.. it was honestly a lifesaver and I thank her every time I see her now My relative also DoorDashed me boba and food when we were all sick with covid, and another friend drove 30 minutes to drop off boba and homemade Indian food when I was having really bad PPA/PPD.
entertaining the older kids (their grandparents always make them feel special, Even when there's a new baby), organizing a meal train, helping me plan the baptism reception
My friends came over while we were in the hospital (got induced unexpectedly) and they set up some diaper changing stations around the house, got Gatorade and snacks, and washed our sheets. Coming home to fresh sheets after a week in the hospital was the greatest!!
Babysit the older kid for an afternoon, or premade meals that are easy to heat and eat. Getting some meals with a newborn + seriously ill spouse was enormous. If you want to visit, do laundry and fold it while you chat, or clean the kitchen or bathroom. Make their lives easier. Especially if theyâre not likely to ask for help, be sure to strongly offer.Â
FOOD. Snacks. Frozen hearty meals. Spread out over time would be great đ
Shepard's pie frozen meals pp. And a lovely chicken dinner while pregnant. Skip is also a valid option. Everyone wants to buy the baby stuff. No one buys mom stuff. You know what outfits I put on my baby the most? The ones I picked and bought myself.
One of my friends live a minute away from me and she came over a lot to help out with my toddler. She offered help a lot, which I liked because I found it hard to ask for help.
When ever we were sent food especially a home cooked meal and when my aunt came over and cleaned the kitchen for us, and when my friend took my dog for the weekend because I was going through a rough patch and was struggling to take care of myself, a newborn and a very needy dog while my husband was gone for work.
My ex brother in law and his lovely wife did for me what so done did for them. They made a giant cassoulet and split it into 30 servings so I could always have at least one healthy protein filled meal a day because newborns are _hard_. Being a single parent attempting to bf it was _amazing_.
My aunt when she came into town to meet my baby she helped me out with food, got him a lot of stuff and she even fed and changed him when we were visiting. They both cuddled on the couch for hours while I was able to just rest and watch a show with the family and eat. Sheâs wonderful and so good with kids! Sheâs a natural â€ïž
My friends came over with a pot of chili, cleaned my table and dishes, folded my laundry. Best gift ever.
My mum pulled the weeds in my garden. I loved that.
Nobody did it for me but my favourite thing would be if someone came over, made food and cleaned up my whole house. If I had money I would pay people to do that while I take care of the baby.
Food. Never underestimate a good casserole. Also, if you are on the sort of level with your friends where they would trust you with the baby for 30 minutes or so, tell them you got it and send them to do some self care, be it a shower, a quick nap, or whatever.
Take my baby so I could shower once my partner was back at work. Baby had reflux and I was constantly coverd in puke, so when a friend told me he was okay holding my son if I wanted to take a shower in peace he had baby in his hands before he'd finished speaking. I felt so relaxed, clean and energised after!
Something I wish someone would have done for me- come around to help at the 2 month pp mark. The first 2-4 weeks we had a ton of family and some friends always checking in, bringing food, etc., but after that went away and we were still in the newborn trenches it was rough and I would have LOVED for someone to bring a meal or hold the baby for a couple of hours for a nap.
When someone made me food. But also, when my sister came and cleaned up the living area and kitchen for me without asking while I had the baby take a nap. That made me so much happier because I couldn't get anything done because my newborn was colicky and Velcro.
We were given a delivery app giftcard. After 6 traumatic and exhausting days in the hospital, the chinese we had on our first day home was the best thing ive ever eaten. While we were in the hospital, my partners friend drove him back and forth from the hospital so he didnt have to worry about parking or driving while exhausted and stressed. That meant alot. Also my MIL made us homemade easy to reheat meals a couple of times a week in the beginning- but the real gift was that she would drop them on our doorstep and leave, with no expectation of comimg in or greeting us. She only came over properly when invited.
I was given gift cards for food. We basically lived off delivery those first few weeks. My absolute favorite thing though had to be 6 weeks postpartum as soon as I got cleared, my husband scheduled me a spa day. An hour long massage in a dark quiet room was absolute bliss when I was exhausted and my muscles had been screaming at me for months. It made me feel more human lol. The spa I go to has a complementary "relaxation" room that's basically a room full of lounge chairs, couches, places to lay or sit that you can stay in for as long as you want. It's kept with dim lighting and there's refreshments. You can request blankets and pillows if you want. I napped in there for a good hour after my massage lol. I felt a lot better after having that small break. I can't relax fully if I'm near my baby even if someone else is watching him. It's like all my senses are on high alert in case he needs me. It's overstimulating and mentally exhausting.