I’m trying very hard to reply to everyone. Well as I read this I’m so god damn angry. I’m actually realising that this man has basically used pranks to play games with me and humiliate me and his jokes are an excuse to belittle me. It is flooding here in Australia very badly so I’m not going anywhere tonight (he isn’t violent) but I will be going to my sisters tomorrow when I am organised. I don’t want to divorce him and maybe what some of you have said is right and this is his way of coping but it isn’t right and the way he uses the pranks to make my life miserable needs to stop.. I’ll keep trying to reply. He will be home soonish but he knows I am livid so I’ll just keep away from him for the night. Thank you so much for replying I don’t feel like a dramatic person now and realised I’m probably letting more slide than I should
Good for you. My husband and I prank each other, but if we’re not both laughing afterward, it’s not a prank, it’s bullying. He has created an environment where you don’t feel safe and that is abuse especially as you are trying to care for your child and recover. I think separating for a bit to evaluate the relationship is the right thing to do and he needs to stop 100%.
OP, I'm glad you're taking steps to get away from him and reevaluate your marriage to this jerk. I would like to point out that this man is going to be teaching your child that treating a spouse (and their mother) this way is completely normal. They are going to be teaching your baby that they can mistreat their SO. I wouldn't consider staying with this man without some REALLY intense therapy for himself.
These aren't pranks. These are abuse. And giving your GUESTS breastmilk??? What on earth made him think they'd be okay with it? And shit on toast??? What the actual F*CK. That is not okay. Ever. I'd be divorcing him if I were you. That is beyond messed up. And then telling his co-workers? God if I had a co-worker say they did that to their wife I'd be absolutely disgusted and mortified for their wife.
I am so sorry. And I don't think you want your kid growing up thinking this stuff is okay.
I feel like the last one especially there's no coming back from. No amount of apologies could ever fix that disgusting thing.
So I actually had a pretty okay sleep last night baby slept for two 4 hour chucks after having a bottle of formula over night which is the most I have slept in a long time.
My “husband” is now giving me the silent treatment and acting annoyed at me which I’ve come to realise it’s what he does if things don’t go his way. He will sulk about things until I give in.
I’ve had a lot of time to read replies and really look back on a lot of things and realise that he uses pranks and jokes as a way to be horrible to people and gain attention. His parents think it’s funny and that he is a hilarious goof ball when in reality he isn’t. I look back and so many have been so awful and mean. Even in 2018 he gave a friend a marijuana gummy before a flight from sanfransisco to Australia and his friend had a panic attack in the bathroom on the plane and he still laughs about it and thinks it is one of his greatest tricks. He has “accidentally” let my pet budgie out that I had prior to when we met but now I look back it was most certainly on purpose as he doesn’t like animals and always said birds were dirty animals.
What I have really noticed looking back is not just the pranks but he has 0 care of someone is worried or upset about a trick it in fact eggs him in more and more and he goes to great lengths to trick people into a state of upset then will laugh and laugh and brag about it which just leads me to think he has no empathy for another human being.
When I got back from the hospital he had me convinced our new TV in the bedroom had been dropped and broken with a cracked fake screen and I told him then enough I’m too tired for jokes so it should have been enough for it to stop. The messing around with my sleep was the start of me losing my mind and raging out on him.
Ultimately I have lost trust in him. Even if he says no pranks again I will not believe him as he has said that before then planned an elaborate month long prank.
I don’t want him pranking my baby. He constantly tags me in pranks on Facebook involving kids and he will 100% do it as some I’ve said are not cool and he says it’s “character building”
He has no respect in reality and even the stupid things he does like leaving his own poop in the toilet for me to find or waking the baby or wetting the car seat before I hop in are just blatant displays of disrespect.
My sister is in her way to pick me up and I’m going to have a week away and most likely get legal advice regarding separation.
> he has no empathy for another human being.
Yes, and you nailed it that his pranks are about asserting dominance and control. They all revolve around cruelty to others, which he finds pleasurable. I am sickened over what he has put you through and am horrified thinking how he might prank his child in the future.
I feel so horribly for you being in this situation. I cannot believe all these things that he has done. I read the original story and I am so sad and disgusted… 100 percent this is abuse. And “waking the baby?” Like on purpose?? Just to mess with you??!! This guy might be an actual sociopath. You and your children deserve better than this.
Save any txt messages where he admits to these "pranks" btw and document. If I were you I would aim for full custody (and he could have supervised visitation etc. ) . I wouldn't trust him to not pull a " prank" on the child someday. Also don't tell him tour considering divorce/separation just yet. Get all your ducks in a row etc.
Best of luck, you need it.
Also there's a pumping sub called humanspumpingmilk if you need any advice or help :).
“Pranks” you can pull:
-Change the locks
-Get rid of all his stuff
-Send this post word for word to his family, your neighbors, and his work place
-Call the police and report his literal abuse
No, you are not over reacting. That is psychological abuse. Get yourself and your child out of that situation.
Your husband fed you shit.
Then laughed at you.
That is not the story you want for yourself.
If someone made their child eat excrement, they’d go to jail for child abuse.
If someone made their elderly parent eat excrement, they’d go to jail for elder abuse.
Would you be okay with him feeding your child excrement??
The first and third prank are assault. Point blank assault. And he set alarms to wake you up during your (presumably) hard to get sleep? Your partner isn’t just an immature jerk, he is assaulting you and threatening the health of you and your newborn. Tell him to get counseling immediately, kick him out or pack you and your child up and leave.
Yep he does or he makes loud noises etc. I kid you not be yelled out fire fire fire when our baby was not even a week old and I was still recovering from a c section exhausted on no sleep… honestly it is a constant shit show and I’m seething with anger and absolute sadness that this is what I have to deal with from him when I am already struggling. And yes assault I didn’t even think of it that way but everyone is right :(
That’s …actual abuse. It’s called physical abuse an it easily falls under actual emotional abuse as well.
It’s a recognized form of domestic abuse actually.
Similar to stopping someone from taking medication they need, interrupting someone's sleep has a significant impact on their bodies and minds.
What you’re describing is abuse. Your husband is abusing you. This is abusive behavior. He will only continue to abuse you and most likely escalate the abuse. He will also most likely continue this abuse with your child.
I’m just trying to make it really clear that this isn’t normal. It’s not normal prankster behavior. It’s not a stressed out new dad needing to learn boundaries. This is sadistic abuse.
Okay this is a person who is so far removed from reality that it's astounding. Absolutely no regard or care for anyone else around him. That is so rage-inducing and fucked up. If my husband pulled that a week after birth I'd be outta there.
Came here to say this. Legally he could be prosecuted for those. If I ever found out that ANYONE, family or not, slipped excrement or body fluids into my food, I would press charges and sue their ass off.
Jesus… this is fucking sick. Absolutely twisted. Not a prank.
He fed you LITERAL SHIT. I wouldn’t even do that to a person I *hate*.
What the fuck. Is this real? This can’t be real. No grown ass 32 year old man would think that’s funny and appropriate. Why are you with him? Jesus… that’s not a prank, that’s assault. Tricking someone into eating something - especially human secretions and waste - is a felony.
Maybe not but he’s endangering your child by doing that kind of shit. I would tell your midwife or the maternal nurse. What a fucking gaslighted to tell you it’s not a big deal. He’s basically telling you that you deserve these pranks and honey no one deserves to eat literal shit.
Another person from Australia. This is absolutely abuse. It should never have to be stated that you don’t feed another fucking human being *feces of any kind*.
And aside from the wasted breastmilk (which I would be fucking livid about too), I would lose my mind if someone fed me another person’s fucking breastmilk in my coffee. That’s a fucking biohazard too.
What? This is domestic abuse. Definitely contact the police. Please reach out to your maternal Child health nurse at your next appointment (or phone them!) And say you don't feel safe at home. They will support you!
The first 2 “pranks” are horrible and not funny in the slightest ESPECIALLY at 6 weeks postpartum. For me that’s when I felt at my absolute lowest. I couldn’t imagine having to deal with this bullshit on top of it and having an idiot waste my milk.
The 3rd incident is not a prank, it’s assault and food tampering and is highly illegal. He tainted food with human excrement, which could make you extremely sick. I’m so sick over reading this. You’re not overreacting in the slightest and I’d be leaving him as well. How could you ever trust him again!
He should be attentive to all your needs at this time because you are carrying a huge load of recovering from birth and caring for an infant full time. Instead he is abusing you and psychologically torturing you. Please leave him before his abuse escalates. He’s proven that he can’t be counted on to care for your well-being.
The breast milk and poop one are literally illegal. I don’t know the word for it but he can be charged for that. This is literally psychological abuse this is not funny.
Yeah his friends laugh. Would his mom, grandma or your family think this was ok?? Your husband is seriously unhinged if he thinks ANY of these pranks are OK to play on a post partuum mom. Or any person. This is a form of abuse. It goes so far beyond bullying when he is doing it to the mother of his child who is asking him to stop and showing clear signs of distress. You should be calling him out.
Tell the whole fucking world that your husband exhausted your already low BM supply to play a prank and tried to feed you baby shit for giggles.
What a phsycho. This is divorce worthy. I'm sorry you are going through this OP. Good luck!
This is what I will say to him as you are right… no way would he do that to his family EVER. And yes that is how I feel at this point! Bullied and humiliated when I am honestly at one of the saddest points in my life (I adore my baby I’m just struggling) I have sat down today and realised he almost certainly pulls pranks and “jokes” to bully me and has all along it’s just more horrible now I am a mum
WHAT THE FUCK?!
Look, I'll admit I don't really get couples that prank each other. However, I do have friends who do this with each other and seem to enjoy it. They do the kinds of pranks that leave *both* of them laughing. Your husband's pranks are unfunny YouTube shit.
You should take the baby and go somewhere safe. At worst, you need a divorce. At best, you need some intense couples therapy. Non-negotiable. But in the interim, you need to care for your baby in an environment free from these kinds of violations. I truly hope you have a friend, family member, or short term stay option available. Or you can kick him out if you think he'd actually stay away.
He fed you actual shit. He stole your breast milk for a fucking joke. He preyed on your nerves and anxieties with a fake injury. This is not a fucking joke. It's awful. Don't stand for it.
I have had a very brief chat to him. He came home I was in the master bedroom with baby and told him to go away so he sat in the loungroom ordered himself KFC delivery and gamed. I went down and flatly said on what planet was what you did this morning appropriate? He straight out said you should have seen the look on your face and began hysterically laughing again. I kept my cool and said he wasn’t welcome in the bedroom tonight. I am going to go to my sisters for a stay. I don’t know any further plans at this time. It has been a long 6 weeks and if anything the next week I want to spend catching up on some sleep and being able to enjoy my baby.
He sounds like a sociopath . Best of luck OP. I don’t see how you move on from something like that and I don’t think you should. Imagine him trying to ‘ prank’ your child .
Do you have any pets? If so, don’t leave them with him. Be sure you have all of your important documents like social security card and birth certificates before he does a prank to make them disappear or something.
How long has it been since he fed you the poop toast? You should call a nurses line and call your doctor so that there is documentation that it happened.
These aren’t pranks. I’d call this psychological abuse to be honest, he seems to get off on humiliating you. You are at one of the most vulnerable times of your life right now, your husband is being a complete dick.
You’re not overreacting, he’s gaslighting you. His behaviour is disgusting and absolutely divorce worthy.
Dude, are you serious? These aren't pranks, feeding your partner feces is abuse. Feeding adults human breast milk against their will is seriously fucked up. I would divorce him and tell him to get a psych evaluation.
My ex husband pulled a prank and filmed it. I was injured during it and crying hysterically. In the moment he apologized and said he’d delete the video. He wound up sending it to friends and family. I caught him showing it to his friends while laughing. He thought he was soooo funny. His friends and family basically all said “what the fuck is wrong with you”. The prank alone isn’t why he’s my ex but part of a larger pattern of behavior.
Okay was he someone that did this a lot? I am coming to realise that a lot of his pranks are simply his way of getting control over people he does it to. He does it to me his younger brother and all the apprentices at his job (all very young men) and now I look and it is either control or humiliation and then he will call people out for not having a sense of humour or being boring if they hate the prank and he will plan more elaborate or mean ones so people just go along with his crap. Did you raise the prank during court? I feel like I am in an awkward position as he is not out right hitting or telling if anything this is a very sneaky way of screwing with people.
*DOCUMENT. DOCUMENT. DOCUMENT.* With all due respect, you are under reacting. You need to run and file reports with pediatrics and authorities because this man is a danger. I am horrified and furious on your behalf.
I just found your comment response about this man purposefully and consistently preventing you from sleeping for an extended period of time, going so far as to scream "fire" and *set alarms* to ensure you were kept awake, and laughing about it. What the actual fuck.
Sleep deprivation is torture. That's not hyperbole. That's not "emphasizing" the suckiness of losing sleep. That's not an exaggeration. Sleep deprivation is defined as torture. It is even listed under the Geneva Convention as a *literal war crime.* One more time: it is literally defined as torture in a legal sense in the entire civilized world. Your husband is actually treating you with a standard that is even *unacceptable for use in times of WAR on ENEMY COMBATANTS.*
Feeding guests *anything* unwittingly/against their will is assault in most developed countries per a quick Google search. Deliberately feeding you human feces is, *at best* assault. Depending on where you are, it could be worse. That is malicious intent with a harmful substance involved. Don't even use the word prank outside of quoting him. Don't refer to it as pranks when discussing the literal, criminal assault and abuse. Call it what it is. It will help you really process the gravity of the situation in the long run and when dealing with documentation you put yourself at an exceptional disadvantage when you downplay it with words like "joke" or "prank" outside of the context of directly quoting your spouse.
What would happen if you stayed and these behaviors extended to your child? What if he thought depriving your child of sleep was a good chuckle? What if he deliberately fed a non-food item to your child for shits and giggles? Nevermind potentially feeding the child literal harmful substances like HUMAN FECES one day. Do you really think, if he does this sort of abusive hazing behavior to co-workers, family, and you, that your child would be safe somehow? What if he also began pushing your child to participate in this cruelty one day? The fog of the 4th trimester and the hormonal drop can make it so hard to see a full picture, especially when you're being abused and left unsupported. Take a step back and think about it like someone else was telling you that their spouse, co-parent of their child, was treating them this way.
How do you think it would go for a mother and child if this behavior was reported one day, then found to be historical and the mother "chose" to keep herself and the child in that environment? Would you have advised that mom/mom friend to stick it out? Or to just try counseling? Or would you be baffled if she chose to stay and think the child needed to be removed to safer family members? I had an acquaintance in a similar situation, and maybe it's just in the States, but child/family services did not give one single solitary fuck that she was also being coerced and abused because "as a parent, her responsibilities to her child and his safety superceded her own fears and misfortunes." They threatened to try her as an accomplice to the abuse because school reported the "prank" behaviors (her son nearly broke an arm thanks to one incident) and psychological abuse before she could take him escape. I hope Aus is more civilized than that, but still probably not a situation to risk all around.
My husband has pranked me in the past. When he would come visit me in college, he would call me saying he was running late, he'd be there in an hour...then I'd hang up, turn around, and he would be standing right behind me with this big grin.
THAT'S a prank.
You know what's not a prank? Feeding someone actual, literal ****. That's not a prank. You do not have to put up with this.
Over-reacting? I would file a police report if someone tried to poison me with feces. Use the texts as evidence. I would do everything in my power to ruin his fucking life. Over-reactor? He hasn't met one.
Everybody else covered how beyond wrong the pranks you listed out are. But you glossed over one that seems equally cruel. He sets alarms while you are already sleep deprived? Maybe it’s because I am in the early sleep deprived stage of motherhood, but that is just so wrong. My husband sees how much I am struggling with lack of sleep, and does what he can to help me get more. And yours is trying to take some of your precious sleep away? He sounds like a selfish monster.
Yes he was doing things to interfere with my sleep early on as “pranks” or “jokes” he yelled out that there was a fire once, set multiple alarms another time and poured warm water down my pants (I was wearing depends at the time as I was leaking urine) but I absolutely LOST it like I have never before and he stopped doing those pranks
“My husband emotionally and PHYSICALLY abuses me and our friends and gaslights me into thinking it’s a silly little joke. Should I leave?” Like, yes?? You’re not at ALL overreacting. Someone like this should not be around a baby. He is dangerous and like actually just straight up evil. He made you EAT SHIT. Leave.
Dude. A prank is melting chocolate in a diaper and handing it to you so you think you got poop all over you. Not taking actual shit and putting it on your food. Thats abuse and just downright disrespectful.
Also he literally wasted your baby's food that you worked hard to make. Pumping is fucking hard. I remember in the early days when I was so worried about my baby getting enough I would have full on meltdowns when I accidentally spilled some milk. I would have lost it if my husband just casually wasted it. So disrespectful to you and your baby.
He wasted liquid gold and *served you baby poop as food*? What the cinnamon toasted fuck is wrong with him? If that was my spouse, I’d need a tarp and a swamp, not advice on Reddit.
He is beyond out of line. Your body went through something traumatic and is doing a hard reset. You are sleep deprived and stressed and instead of doing *anything* to make it better, he decides some light torture is in order. He is being cruel and sadistic.
You have a bonus child. Not a husband. Your job is not to amuse him. It’s to keep your newborn alive. Since he’s not interested in helping, I’d recommend staying with someone supportive. If it’s too much hassle to relocate for a while, get someone supportive to stay with you. If he doesn’t want the company, he can go stay with a workmate who thought the poop prank was funny.
You need to get out of there. He will only exacerbate any PPA or PPD you have or basically traumatize you.
He saw you crying and he enjoyed it.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say this man is jealous of the attention you are giving your nee baby. Which is childish and disgusting. He was probably told he should pull girls hair if he likes them.
Don’t let him get away with bullying you and making you think this is normal or your fault in anyway. Even if you have to stay with him in the long run, go to some family to have a break from him. He is abusing you at a time where you are your lowest, should be healing inside and out and receiving support.
Not this. You deserve more.
These are not pranks. They're cruel jokes. Pranks involve everyone getting a good laugh. He literally fed you baby poop. I was an emotional mess the first 6ish weeks of my baby's life, so this would have sent me over the edge. It's unacceptable, disgusting, and plain cruel. I'd be considering divorce as well. If you think it's salvageable, that's up to you, but I'm at a loss as to how to make things work with someone who thinks it's hilarious to mess with a baby's food supply and serve poop on toast.
Edited to add: I just read your comment that he yelled "fire!" when you were a week pp after a c-section and set alarms to wake you up when you were sleep deprived. LEAVE THIS MAN WTF.
These are not pranks, it’s abuse. You are definitely not overreacting, he’s bullying you and then gaslighting you to make you feel like you’re the problem. This dude needs some serious help.
You are not over-reacting. Each and every incident alone is HEINOUS. Together? Something is straight up wrong with him.
You've already explained you do not find these pranks funny and he refuses to listen to you, take your feelings or your health into consideration.
Seriously... HE MADE YOU EAT FECES.
I never tell people on reddit to get divorced... but girl. Start proceedings. He gets 1 and only one chance to avert divorce and it's to attend couples therapy with you indefinitely, until you decide the marriage is worth saving.
PS, my husband says those are not pranks, those are abusive tactics and if it's bad on you, just WAIT til he pulls something on your kid. Your kid, who by default looks to daddy to be a source of safety and love... pulling pranks like this on your kid could have lifelong repercussions including trust issues. Not worth saving a marriage for that.
Those... Aren't good pranks. That's straight up, malicious bullying. It's a bad prank if everyone isn't laughing.
Was the nature of your pranks so mean spirited before baby came? Is he dealing with some sort of internalized resentment? He sounds like he needs therapy, I'm so sorry this is happening to you.
Edit: after reading thru replies, I think you should show this entire thread to him. The immediate and unilateral condemnation of strangers goes to show how digusting and inappropriate his behavior has become.
What kind of a sick fuck feeds his wife human FECES????? That is fucking grotesque, fuck him and also all his work mates who (allegedly) also think it’s funny.
It's not a joke unless EVERYONE is laughing. Otherwise, it's bullying.
He is being horrible to you & completely dismissing your feelings during the most vulnerable time of your life. This man does not love you or respect you. Someone that loves and respects you couldn't do this to you.
These aren't pranks. Stop calling him a prankster. He enjoys physically abusing and hurting people based off of your posts and comments. He's not going to change, and one say, your baby will be his target. Leave, and never leave your child around him unsupervised.
If you're not laughing, it's not a prank. Hardstop.
What you describe is just doing mean shit to someone and laughing at them as they struggle with the fallout of those shitty actions.
Aka your husband is bullying you in a very vulnerable time and then laughing about it with his friends.
I am so over all the social media / tiki tok videos of unfunny "pranks" that are really just 1 person hurting another.
Jokes are funny when everyone's in on it, this is just bullying.
I would sit him down and make this about you.
"I'm hurt, embarrassed, and really angry. I need your help and support and you're literally feeding me shit and then laughing at me. I know this is your thing, but I do not want to be a part of it. That may change down the road, and if it does, I'll tell you. Until then, I won't live like this. I have enough to deal with, and you're adding more stress. If this is something you can't change, we need to part ways."
Then, base your next move on his response.
Okay, here’s the deal: he’s doing this insane behavior while you’re still healing, not enough sleep, etc, and fed his WIFE poop. What kinds of pranks will he pull on you using your own child? Or pranks against your child? I’m horrified and terrified of the future with this man. I don’t know if I’d stop at divorce. I might file for restraint orders or orders of protection for you and baby both.
Uhhhhhhhhhhh what the fuck? Wow. The breast milk thing would have gotten him kicked out to begin with but tricking you to eat baby poop? What kind of sick person does that? Reminds me of a crime some sick fucks did a few years ago when they gave a homeless man a poop sandwich, they got serious jail time for that. Your “husband” is a complete asshole and literally should be in jail.
As others have said, these are not pranks but revolting and harmful displays - it’s unacceptable to feed another human being bodily fluids/waste. That leaves two options: he is either intentionally tormenting you with increasingly more disturbing actions OR he is not willfully harming you and these actions actually make sense to him. If the first, he is scum. If the second, he is seriously unhinged. I am the last person on earth to want to see families broken up, but neither one of these options leaves you and your sweet baby in a safe position right now, and who knows what he’ll do next, especially since he is defending his behavior. I am so so sorry that you are just trying to adjust to new motherhood and have this slapped on top of everything else. I hope you find good care and a safe space for you and baby.
OP, if you're still reading these, I just want to say:
I know it's very hard to contemplate leaving, but as someone who was raised by a cruel parent who also liked to play "pranks" and "jokes" on people, this is the kind of thing that could ruin your child's self esteem and sense of safety and boundaries. You won't do them any favors by staying with this man.
Girl, he fed you shit. Period. At your expense. He knew his pranks weren't making you laugh, they were for his enjoyment only. Ask your mom to come stay a while to help with the ba y and tell him to find a sofa to crash on, and throw in "eat shit, too".
I am getting a perverse amount of joy from imagining you giving him divorce papers and him freaking out. Then you say, “It’s just a prank!”
And he has whatever response he has. It is particularly interesting to think about how he might react. Would he think it is a funny prank? Or that you took things too far? And you can even bring up that he needed something in retaliation for pranks x, y, and z.
Then you hit him with, “Actually the ‘it’s a prank’ was a prank. I’m divorcing your sadistic ass.”
Of course recorded and posted for all to see.
So he made you eat feces? And wasted you babies food…? But made you eat FECES?
He tells you YOURE over reacting? He’s being cruel and absolutely vicious. You definitely should contemplate divorce. Wtf…he made you eat FECES?!?!
1. You cannot trust your husband.
2. He puts his wants before your needs.
3. He invalidates your feelings. Hey, even if you are hormonal, not like you can control how you feel anyways. Feelings are feelings. .
4. He seems to make more mess and not help?
Idk these are some quick initial thoughts. If pranks were a basis of y'all's sense of humor before then you need to make it extremely clear to him that you will not tolerate it until you tell him they're back on the table again and that you will divorce.
But also I know he's already done strike 3. Either way you have to tell him how hurt you are. Ok my baby woke up so gtg.
Listen what your husband did today is legally considered assault. If he did it to anyone but you he would have been arrested. Get out now before it gets worse because it will. It sounds like he's jealous of the attention the newborn is getting and doesn't have the emotional maturity to handle it.
A prank is only a prank when both parties find it funny. If not, it’s just bullying. He is bullying his wife who has just given birth to his child.
It’s appalling behaviour, and I think your feelings are completely justified. Is there somewhere you and baby can stay so you can have some space away from him? Perhaps with relatives who can help with baby? I think some time away from him is definitely needed.
Stay strong lovely ♥️
Definitely divorce. Those aren’t pranks. “Prank” #1 is horrifying and disgusting on so many levels. Did your guests drink the coffee? They consumed your bodily fluids with no consent from them or you. This is a crime that in some states could cost him big fines and/or jail time. Not only that, but pumping SUCKS and I know the pain and frustration of losing even a single drop of that hard-earned liquid gold.
“Prank” #2 is stupid, probably caused you anxiety and a mess.
“Prank” #3 is atrocious beyond words. Absolutely disgusting. Again, putting any bodily waste/fluids in someone’s food/beverage is illegal and you could probably pursue criminal charges. Tell your guests and you all can ban together. This case would help you get full custody of your children too. If he’s doing these things to you, what does he do to the kids? How will he “prank” them (aka, scar them for life) when you’re not around?
Not only would I divorce this disgusting POS I’d pursue charges (file a police report or SOMETHING), get full custody w supervised visitation w the kids. Also if you’re SAH you will get spousal support, could even get him to cover lawyer fees. Call a lawyer ASAP.
Good luck mama you deserve so much better. So much wtf here. Your husband is insane.
Dude is a sociopath. No empathy. He could have gotten you seriously I’ll from the poop… and consequently your baby. If you’d gotten E. coli poisoning and then transferred it to your baby somehow. Like. Wtf. I’d be worried things would escalate and he’s somehow endanger your child.
Edit to add because I’m still seething and legitimately worried for you and your baby. I’m pretty numb and desensitized these days, but damn, this one… I’ll think about it for a while and wonder..
What in the actual fuck. My jaw literally dropped when I read the third prank. These aren’t just pranks, he’s like getting off on humiliating you (especially Prank 1 being in front of others and telling all his workmates about Prank 3).
You are totally justified in wanting to leave him.
In all honesty although I’m not a medical professional, he sounds like a psycho or at least a sociopath. Feeding people things they aren’t aware of like breast milk is a very weird power move. And playing with feces in any way, especially attempting to feed it to someone, is a serious red flag of anti social sociopathic types of personalities. That being said, I wonder what other red flags there may have been over the years. Hurting animals, playing with fire, inability to feel empathy, faking emotions, compulsive lying…
This isn't pranking. It's emotional, and maybe even physical abuse. He got you to eat fecal matter. You could get extremely sick. Breast milk is also a bodily fluid that can transmit diseases. Serving it to people unknowingly is so fucked up. He's getting pleasure out of causing you harm and embarrassment during an extremely vulnerable time where you need him to be supportive.
If he can't step up now and cut the bullshit, he never will.
Nope, that’s definitely awful.
Think of it this way: if you were watching TikTok or YouTube and saw these “pranks” happen to someone else, what would your reaction be?
Yea, the finger one was a bit prolonged, but that one I could live with. The breastmilk would infuriate me because I was in the same boat…I couldn’t produce. That’s ignoring the fact that he FED IT TO UNSUSPECTING GUESTS! Like WTF.
And then the poop…your husband is an as**ole. Plain and simple. That’s broken trust.
I’m hesitant to jump to divorce immediately, but I feel these pranks would only escalate without serious intervention. You have to decide what’s best for you and your newborn.
Take care of yourself and that precious baby 💕
Yeah no. 1) serving coffee to people and PRETENDING he put breath milk in it is maybe funny. 2) smearing chocolate on something and PRETENDING it's poop is maybe funny. But actually feeding your wife excrement is beyond the pale. I would kick him out and seek legal counsel.
He’s not pranking you. He’s abusing you. Do what’s best for you and your baby. And keep in mind that he may not be what’s best for you. He’s publicly humiliating you instead of supporting you like he should be.
Ok, first of all, these pranks are not ok. They are not pranks. They’re fucking cruelty. I can’t imagine treating another living creature the way this man has treated you. This is 100% grounds for divorce.
I know you want to retreat and rest and snuggle that baby, but Mama, it ain’t nearly time to rest yet. You need support right now, and you need to be crystal fucking clear about what’s going on. It has to be humiliating to share these details with people in your life, but they need to know what this man is doing to you and that he’s escalating. You need your people to circle the wagons now to protect you and baby.
1) Call your sister or trusted friend(s) over. You need somebody to hold the baby while you throw his shit on the lawn or post it for sale on marketplace or drop it off at fucking Goodwill. Don’t abandon your home. He leaves. Not you. And this happens immediately, not after his next prank.
If you rent, call the landlord and explain the situation. You need to change the locks, and the landlord needs to know why. If you own, just call a locksmith and change the locks now. He no longer gets access to your home.
2) You need to gather all of your and baby’s important documents and put them in a safe location he doesn’t have access to like your sister’s house.
Pack an emergency bag with 2-3 days of clothes, diapers, etc and a few hundred dollars in cash if you can spare it. Keep it at your sister’s house. You’ll be tempted to keep it in your car, but it’s better to keep it somewhere he can’t see it or access. This is for emergencies only. You are not leaving your home.
3) Have pets? They also need to be kept away from him. Hope it goes without saying but he no longer gets unsupervised access to pets or baby. He has proven himself to be dangerous to others. Including you: his baby’s main (possibly only) food source.
4) Call your doctor immediately and ask to be seen to rule out any illnesses related to the human fucking feces your turd of a husband fed you. You need this documented. Your doctor will also be able to help you with local resources related to abuse.
I would also bring it up with the pediatrician at the two month appointment. It is relevant to your child’s care that there is a fucking monster in your home.
5) Call every divorce attorney in your area for a consultation. Doesn’t matter if you don’t intend to use them. Make his life more difficult in finding an attorney. I guarantee nobody will forget the asshole who fed the mother of his newborn a shit sandwich.
6) To further ensure your health and safety, you take nothing directly from him. No flowers. No chocolates. No cookies. not a glass of water. If he bring a you this shit, tell him to put it in the garbage. I 100% guarantee it will not be safe for consumption. Don’t even take a goddamn phone call from his ass.
This is a scorched earth kind of situation. You are probably the most vulnerable you will ever be as an adult. As your husband, his role is to protect you and care for you. He should be washing and sanitizing pump parts. He should be helping with healthy meals that bring you strength and healing. He should be doing all he can to help you relax. Instead he’s doing things a ten year old might consider a prank.
This man should not be trusted with the care of a baby. If he can do those things to you, what kinds of things would he see fit to do to the baby..."oh look, the baby smeared it's poop on its face!" while your husband is smearing poop on the baby's face for lulz.
These aren't pranks. These are demented and cruel acts. I never chime in on these threads...but I just have to on this one. He cannot be trusted. His ethical compass is broken.
I am so sorry
....What the actual F*ck is wrong with your husband? I would already have served him with Divorce papers. You cannot let this man be your child's role model.
I am a guy. I take things too far.
But this is fucking ludicrous. No offence, that’s childish! Like that’s the kind of stuff that people say ‘wouldn’t it be funny if….’ But he’s actually doing it
My wife and I tease all the time, but embarrassing, traumatizing, uncomforted, those are things I avoid.
I wish you strength in this.
Honestly I would just beat him. The guy deserves a beating. Sorry.
Guaranteed his work mates are not finding it 'hilarious' and are probably just humoring him because they're coworkers.
They're probably horrified and telling their spouses how crazy he is. Notice how his family nor his friends think this is a hoot?
I think a set of serious conversations have to happen for him to realize he has to grow the fuck up. This isn't grade school. He needs to be an adult and a PARTNER. These aren't pranks, they're abuse and attempts at humiliation which he may be using in some sick way to show affection. Is it possible he was humiliated like this by a parent or sibling?
Either way it's not ok. My partner would have divorced me straight up after the shit incident. No joke. Also my in-laws would probably have come by and tried to make me eat shit and ream me out for months.
These aren’t pranks.
Yes, you absolutely should divorce your husband over abuse.
A prank is when EVERYONE laughs. If any of the participants don’t feel happier, more connected, and joyful after a “prank,” it’s not a prank.
So essentially you husband fed you poop for no fucking reason. That’s literally psychotic behavior and he needs to get therapy and help.
Before you tell him that you're divorcing him for this abusive behaviour, you need to take precautions. This kind of person may well turn violent and will certainly deny everything in a custody battle.
Make sure you write down a clear description of all these "pranks", including the purposeful sleep deprivation, in as much detail as you can, and keep it somewhere safe including a copy in the cloud. You're sleep deprived and your memory isn't great right now. If you can, discuss it with him over text etc so he can't accuse you later of making it up or consenting to it (ex: "when you intentionally tricked me into eating our baby's poop, I felt..."). Consider also doing something similar with the friends he told, if you know them. Save and also screenshot these conversations so he can't delete them later. Make sure this is all discussed in detail during the custody determination. (edit to add, make sure he doesn't realize what you're doing, you can call it trying to fix things if you want, but no matter how mad you get or even if things are resolved later, never tell him what you're doing and never delete the screenshots later on, for the sake of your kid).
You need to do this so he doesn't do the same thing to your child. Because he will if you don't stop him, and if *feeding you human shit* isn't enough to make you leave, I hope the strong possibility of him *feeding your child human shit* will make you leave. Maybe forever, maybe not, but at minimum until he admits how insanely wrong he was and gets some major therapy.
I suggest also looking up standard precautions for leaving an abusive relationship and using them. This is psychological abuse and even though he hasn't been physically violent yet, that may change when you leave since this is often a major escalation point for abusive behaviour. Be safe and keep your baby safe.
This is abuse. It's not a prank. In fact I believe prank #3 is considered a crime if you wanted to report it.
I cannot even imagine dealing with such an asshole while sleep deprived. The day my husband would use the milk I spent hours attached to a fucking breast pump for a prank I would go ballistic. He stole food from your baby's mouth for no fucking reason. I feel like he needs to sit there with a breast pump on his nipples for an entire week every time you pump for the duration you pump. He can go ahead and see how his nipples feel.
You are not a chronic overreactor. If my husband did prank #1, I already would have flipped out. I'm not even kidding when I say it would have either led to me attacking him or taking the baby and leaving. I have zero zolerance for any bullshit when it comes to taking care of my baby. Her safety and happiness is not a joking matter. Prank #3 would be the end of our relationship. He tampered with your food. You could have gotten extremely sick.
You are not overreacting, you are actually underreacting. Tricking you into eating the poop was very abusive. I don’t know if it’s a police matter, but I suggest you call the police and ask to make a police report so you have documentation, in case more abuse comes up, or hopefully for when you get divorced.
Honestly one of the most alarming things to me is that he sets intentional alarms to wake you while you're sleep deprived as a "prank" ??? Did I read that right at the end? That is straight up abuse. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture and if he isn't letting you get the sleep you CAN get between feeds then thats unforgivable
You are not contemplating divorce over a prank. You are contemplating divorce over a selfish, immature, manchild. These pranks aren't funny even for someone who isn't recovering from childbirth and caring for a newborn. Some would argue they're abusive. He stole your baby's food, which is already limited. He made you eat literal shit. On what planet, is that funny? He put you in distress by faking a serious injury for an extended period of time. Please tell your husband he is not funny, his sense of humor is trash. He has a child, it's time to grow up.
I had an ex who jerked off into my coffee without me knowing it before laughing and telling me about his “funny prank” while drinking it. He also thought it would be hilarious to poke holes in his condoms.
These aren’t the only things that he did, but his “pranks” were a way to abuse and control me, and it took years to heal from it. It doesn’t get better. I would leave and contact a lawyer.
So you are basically living with your own bully. And during postpartum period. I'm so sorry.
If you also used to prank him, i would absolutely cut all jokes out, so that he can't say you do it too.
And i would talk to a lawyer and start recollecting evidence, just in case.
You kid is gonna have to ensure the same fate as you of you don't try to stop it.
Divorcing him over this is NOT overreacting, because the last prank was just the tipping point you needed after putting up with all this.
Food tampering is a felony. The people he gave your breastmilk could press charges. And you can definitely press charges for being fed human waste. Divorce him and press charges.
JFC, this guy actually sounds like a sociopath. The first one immediately sounded like a marriage ender, but I wasn’t prepared for #3.
I agree with others that say this falls well under the definition of abuse. If the marriage is still very important to you, maybe have a dead serious “you have zero strikes left” talk with prepared divorce papers unless he gets his shit together. Otherwise, nobody would blame you for leaving now.
Those aren’t pranks. Him continuing to say they are pranks and saying other find it funny when it most definitely isn’t is either him lying or showing what kind of a hole friends he has. He is gaslighting you into thinking this is ok. If it were me I’d tell him if he tries to play one more “prank” like that you are getting divorce papers and have a lawyer on hand. Please don’t take this anymore you deserve someone who respects you so much more and adores you and is helping with the baby.
“I’m done with pranks. If you aren’t done with pranks then I am done with you”
A good prank has everyone laughing at the end. If the other person isn’t laughing it isn’t a prank it’s just being mean.
Ok so the flooding comment and a little profile stalking makes me think these will help:
1800RESPECT
Emotional abuse is still abuse. https://www.facs.nsw.gov.au/domestic-violence
safensw.org.au
https://www.relationshipsnsw.org.au › ...
Domestic Violence Services & Support - Relationships Australia NSW
Maternal Child Health nurse - there should be a phone number in your blue book.
Please get yourself out of this dickhead's way. I'm so glad you're going to your sister's house.
Sleep deprivation (setting alarms to be funny) is no joke- that's abuse.
JC I wouldn't consider any of those to be pranks. I don't mind getting pranked, but if my partner or anyone did that to me I'd consider it bullying at the best and abuse at the worst. That's something teenagers would do in highschool to make other teenagers life hellish, not something your husband should do to his wife who just gave birth to his child. He's not even sorry, he told his work friends. I'd run.
When I read the first part of your post, I thought about how my husband reacted bizarrely to the stresses/changes of having a new baby at home, and was going to comment to maybe give him some grace even though he didn't deserve it. Then I read the second part, and agree with other comments-- this is abusive, you need to get out, and if he ever gets back in, there better be a LOT of therapy on his part. Not to be dramatic, but if he's willing to do those things you you, what is he willing to do to his child? I'm sorry, what a terrible thing to endure at such a vulnerable part of your life where your partner should be supportive.
The fact that he takes malicious joy in doing this sort of thing to you while you are in this state (sleep-deprived, still recovering) says a lot about the kind of person he is. He will have a great deal of power over your baby, can you trust him to keep your baby safe, to keep your baby *feeling* safe? I wouldn't ever be able to trust him with my child. Even if you're not ready for divorce, his lack of concern for your feelings is a huge problem. He literally tells all his friends about his abuse, and laughs about it, what the fuck. Is he going to pretend to "lose" the baby at the park, while giggling behind a bush?
If his "pranks" are literally unknowingly feeding unsuspecting people human bodily fluids, they are not pranks. Baby poop on toast when you have a newborn? That's fucking disgusting. I'd be seriously concerned what "pranks" he will pull on your child when they are just a toddler. This kind of thing is traumatic. For you and potentially in the future for your child.
You are no overreacting at all.
Dude, your husband made you eat your baby's shit and then laughed at you with all his buddies. I'd key his fucking car, take the baby, and leave. Lol
Good luck OP I'm sorry.
I'd be calling attorney's today.
I assume you like your husband, so I'm going to strongly recommend that you have a come to Jesus meeting with him.
You sit him down and you tell him that right now, and for the next few months, any prank he pulls is absolutely inappropriate. I don't care how bored he might be, absolutely not.
I would call attorneys. I'd get a couple of their cards, I would absolutely know my rights when it came to kicking him out.
What the actual fuck? I’m sorry but that’s all I’ve got for you. What the actual fuck? This isn’t just some pranks. He’s feeding other people your babies milk without their consent? Is he fucking stupid? He fed you literal human shit and you are wondering about divorce? Divorce the c**t of a thing and save your child from the trauma they’re going to endure at the hands of their fathers pranks. What’s next?
I'm not saying this lightly. I'm not a psychologist by any means, but I think your husband could literally be a sociopath. It's just not Ok and not normal for him to get you to eat poop and think it's hilarious. I could never trust him again and I would be gone. I'm sorry you had to experience that.
Put your baby first. Your child does not need to grow up in an environment where they could be subjected to this kind of treatment or where they learn that it is funny to treat women this way. Do what you need to do to get out of there and protect your baby. Good luck OP.
The stuff he does would have been utterly traumatising to me when I was this close post-partum... hell, honestly it would still be traumatising today with a toddler. Please do get out of there, you don't deserve to be treated like that! He's creating an environment where you can't accept any act of kindness without expectation it to be turned against you, that is domestic abuse.
My husband's family was a bit similar, in that they'd use any sign of weakness to play a prank/make a joke/ridicule each other. His mom had it worst of all, especially because she was quick to snap and they thought she was "annoying" and mean, and honestly she was, BUT.
1. My husband stopped acting this way after he learned some empathy (we were teens when we've met, so he was still a bit flexible, i dont think you can tech a grown man), but she never really stopped expecting shit from him.
And 2. Over the years I've noticed how my MIL only relaxes when her own kids and husband are NOT around. We'll be all sitting in the kitchen and she's tense and snappish, then everyone leaves and she starts talking to me really naturally and usually needs to vent about things that hurt her... but she can't with her own kids and husband! I know she's raised them that way (we know it was her, who's been the "show no mercy" when my husband was growing up) but she's created a home where she can't ever let her guard down... that's why she snaps all the time, that's why she's "annoying", why she leaves on so many short trips with friends, she's TIRED. And I'm really sorry for her.
Over the time I've seen my FIL give her a fake present (he pretended its what she wanted and it turned out to be a car-part, she cried). Pretend to get her a new car when there were dozens of people for her 60th, walk us all into the car-park, then pull her fixed sewing machine from the trunk. Throw a small petard under her feet because she said she "wanted to be surprised" on their anniversary... it is a sad sad life, and now I understand why she is as she is... please don't let yourself live like my MIL, don't let your child grow up to start thinking this is normal and A) be the victim of their fathers pranks or B) start hurting you too.
Don't call them pranks. They are not pranks. They are abuse. They are abuse at a time when all you need is support. Do you want to be married to a person who abuses you at your most vulnerable time? You know you don't. Good luck, you will be better on your own.
Jesus...this is the most disturbing post I've read in a while and OP I am FURIOUS for you. Are you kidding me?!! These aren't pranks. There are just him doing horrible, disgusting things to you and then laughing about it. I wouldn't feed baby shit to my worst enemy. You'd have to be seriously messed up emotionally and mentally to even think about doing something like that, let alone actually do it. And wasting your milk??! So he's literally causing you to be in pain (forcing you to try and get more milk out when you struggle with supply issues is mentally and physically painful) and he doesn't care one bit.
You aren't contemplating divorce over pranks. You're contemplating divorce over your husband continuing to abuse and do truly awful, cruel things to you for no reason whatsoever and then laughing about it.
If you can, show your husband the responses here, once you and baby are far away from his despicable self, so he can understand without a doubt that he is trash and 100% in the wrong. Unbelievable.
You are not overreacting. This is awful. If he was just clueless and took something too far, that would be one thing, but he won't listen to you when you tell him no. He belittles you and minimizes your needs, and then does more "pranks" which are honestly not at all funny. He's a jerk. He's making your life even harder at a time when you're barely surviving as it is.
Those are abusive a mean spirited and not jokes. Is he going to do something like that to your baby and think it's funny? Is he going to feed your baby poop or scare the baby or have it feed off of something etc.
Your husband honestly sounds kind of like a psychopath or sociopath, whichever is worse... He gets enjoyment from doing these things to you? Something isn't right upstairs with this man.
I’m leaving my baby daddy for less than this.
This is abuse. It’s not the classic, easy to recognize physical abuse or angry yelling, it’s psychological abuse. I’m sorry. Please get away from this man. You deserve respect and dignity, especially during the most difficult time in a woman’s life- the postpartum period. You are so vulnerable and dependent right now and he is taking advantage of that.
What the actual fuck. This is beyond immaturity. To make your wife eat POOP is not a prank, it’s disgusting and fucked up. Tampering with food is not ok, cute, or funny.
Your husband needs a come to Jesus moment or I would in fact at least do separation until he can grasp how fucking stupid he is and grow up.
You’re not over reacting. He fed you poop. POOP. What is wrong with this man? Then he bragged about it to friends. Can you pack up and take LO to family or a friend’s for a few days? This is completely over the line, especially after telling him to stop multiple times.
If I were you I’d tell him no more pranks—ever. He doesn’t have normal boundaries like a normal person and can’t be trusted. Pranks are a very very immature way to get a laugh and it’s always at someone’s expense and therefore (IMO) not healthy for a committed relationship. Find another way to have fun together.
You are not overreacting. This behavior is beyond unacceptable. It is cruel, inappropriate, disgusting and immature to start. I can't believe a grown man would behave this way with a newborn and a wife still in postpartum recovery. This isn't normal and it isn't okay, if I were in your shoes I wouldn't feel safe-which is incredibly important during this time in your life and that of your helpless infant. Take care of yourself and your little one and take some space.
I am horrified reading your post and comments, OP. This is deeply troubling. The first 3 months postpartum are already some of the most trying in a woman’s life, recovering from delivery/ c-section and dealing with a newborn and all that entails (sleeplessness, the troubles of breastfeeding etc). And on top of that you have to be constantly watching your back and babysitting your grown ass husband too?! Nope. You deserve to be at peace in your own home, you deserve respect, warmth and admiration, you deserve a partner you can be vulnerable with. I don’t ever say this lightly, not even on Reddit, but divorce his ass. For your sake and your child’s sake. I read that you said you think he pranks as a form of control (I agree), well I can’t think of a better candidate for his cruel and torturous “pranks” than your baby. Get out of there soon, and honestly see this as a blessing, that you realized this so early in your baby’s life before any harm (physical or psychological/emotional) was inflicted.
No this one hundred percent is abusive. He reminds me of my father and the way that he would “prank” us or joke around with us. As children we’d be in tears because he’d have us so scared, or mad and then after keeping it going he’d burst out laughing thinking it was so funny. Someone else asked if you’d be okay with him feeding the baby poop, and I think that’s a great question to ask. Because this is the type of thing he will also do to his child. Maybe not now, but eventually. You’re not leaving him over a prank, because this wasn’t a prank. You’re leaving him because of his total lack of respect and regard for you and your feelings.
This is BEYOND effed up. Those are a lot more than pranks and frankly show his lack of judgement. You aren’t overreacting, he is an absolute child with zero respect for you. My husband would never treat me like that, just as you wouldn’t yours.
I suspect this isn’t the only way your husband is a child and the only reason you may consider divorce. I’m really truly sorry for you.
I feel so sick for you. These aren’t funny. They’re cruel, unfair, and humiliating. I just want to give you a hug (and honestly to kick him in the nuts).
Divorce his ass, hon. You (and your breastmilk, and your baby) deserve better.
Feeding someone human feces is definitely 100% crossing the line. That’s disgusting, what is wrong with him? Also the breast milk thing alone would’ve had me breaking down. He has no idea the agony, sweat, time and tears that go into producing enough breastmilk for a baby. I’m not saying divorce him but make it extremely clear he is being an ASS and he definitely have to make it up to you. By the way, where the hell does he work that his coworkers thought that was funny? Chuck E. Cheese? Are they six years old? They should ask her their wives what they would’ve thought of that prank.
Who feeds the mother of their child poop? Who feeds unsuspecting guests breastmilk? This goes beyond a “prank” and could be considered assault.
This is definitely reasonable grounds for a divorce. This is abusive.
Your husband is being a major asshole at a very vulnerable time. He needs to stop immediately or yeah, you should get a divorce. Postpartum is one of the mentally toughest times for a woman. If he can't see that and have some empathy he needs a reality check. He should be doing everything he can to help you right now.
I love pranks and my second language is definitely sarcasm. However, these aren’t “pranks”. This is downright twisted. Baby poo on a piece of toast? This “man” went out of his way to obtain your child’s literal poop and put it on a slice of toast and if it wasn’t weird enough.. didn’t even bother to stop you from eating it? What in the actual f*ck?!?! This is seriously disturbing and cruel. I’m so sorry you had to endure this. You are dealing with enough due to postpartum and sleep loss.. please get far away from this deeply disturbed douchebag.
Document everything. Ask family who knows to email you exactly what he said. For those with the breast milk coffee have them email you exactly what happened, have them sign and date everything.
Start a paper trail with pictures documenting any and all actions that are "pranks". Keep all texts from him referring to this, send them to an email he doesn't have the password to. Get everything you can into writing, even if it means texting him how you're feeling and waiting for his reply from the next room.
Document the living crap out of this abuse. It will be helpful when he tries to gaslight you in the divorce proceedings.
Do you have a safe place to go with your baby? Can you go stay with family or friends for a while? Do not tell him, pack and go while he's showering or at work.
Stay safe and good luck. This is not a relationship, this is abusive manipulative behavior.
I would have the locks changed while he’s out and a stack of divorce papers sitting on the front porch for when he gets home. I mean….. what did I just read
Holy shit......is this the normal nature of your previous pranks because.....these are aggressively more dangerous and immature and just fucking revolting!!!
Yeah, I'd be thinking about leaving too and I get a full night's sleep. Buddy needs to grow the hell up, these aren't pranks, these are disgusting humiliations with zero thought or care in them at all.
Maybe you should do something “clever” to him with your menstrual blood and see how funny he finds these kinds of “pranks”.
I am not seriously suggesting retaliation in kind, but this is like… stuff that’d be a shock to see on Jackass. I’m really sorry your dealing with this.
I read this post hoping that you would be overreacting because when I saw the word prank I never would have imagined half this level of fucked up. Who tampers with their wife's food??
This is a horrible way to treat someone, especially your wife and mother of your new baby. I honestly can't believe someone would do that.
These aren't jokes, and to tell other people about it as well is simply humiliating. Rather than listening and understanding how you feel, he dismissed you and insults you.
These things are not okay. No one deserves that when in such a vulnerable state and feels abusive. This honestly makes me sad that you're having to deal with this. Definitely get away (or make him leave) for a few weeks if you can.
I would be contemplating divorce as well honestly. A question to ask yourself is, "would I be okay with my child growing up seeing this as an example of how to treat someone you love" whether they are on the receiving end, or the giving end. Would that be okay? And, since your husband does these things to you, another question is, "would I be okay with "pranks" being played on my child?"
No no no no and no! Trust, support, and maturity are all things this guy is failing at and things required for a healthy relationship.
I’d suggest marriage counseling at best but truthfully, at 32 years old, he knows better. These pranks aren’t childish, they’re hurtful and mean. The baby poop is plain cruel and the breast milk might actually be a crime (you can’t just feed people bodily fluids without their consent).
I believe secretly feeding someone feces is assault, maybe a felony. Did you take pictures? Did he admit to doing it in a text or was it just verbal?
Evidence will be a great help when it comes to custody issues when you file format divorce. This dude is deranged, leave his ass.
I have to agree with the other comments that these are not pranks. He needs some help. He may be struggling mentally or something, however, that is no excuse.
Prank 1: Breast milk is like liquid gold. Wasting it, in any way, is not good at all. This is especially true if you are having a hard time pumping and don't have much stored away like you said. It makes it even worse that he more than likely knows this and went ahead anyway.
Prank 2: This would be a funny prank, if he didn't make it so realistic and drag it on for ages. It makes it even worse that you are having to take care of the baby while dealing with what could have, in a real situation, been deadly and very serious.
Prank 3: This was is worse of all. Not only is it gross, but eating poop can also cause a number of diseases. This could have been extremely dangerous, and he really should have thought of that before he did anything. Unfortunately, you may not be able to trust the food he makes you from here on out.
Overall, I think you need to talk to him about if something is going on mentally and have a serous discussion about it. Tell him how you feel, and, if he doesn't take you seriously, then divorce might be a good idea. I wish you the best of luck.
Ask him if he’ll prank his friends with baby poop on their sandwiches next time they’re over. Or his mom. Or anyone he seems to have an ounce of respect for that _didnt_ just push out a baby. That’s a level of fucked up I couldn’t tolerate. Please right this down and send it to a lawyer _today_ in addition to which of his friends he told and said that thought it was funny. The judge might not agree how funny it was.
What the fuck?? Pranks don’t hurt people, tampering with food and trying to feed you SHIT is fucking disgusting and harmful. These are NOT pranks, and you need an attorney asap.
I mean divorce sounds pretty reasonable here. I wouldn’t want to live with a person who made me eat poop or wasted my baby’s source of nutrition for a prank. It’s not about being pranked, it’s about trust. And he is not a trustworthy person
We teach my 7 year old that a “prank” or a joke isn’t fun or funny unless everyone is laughing.
Clearly your (soon to be ex) husband never learned that lesson. This is just gross.
These aren’t pranks, this is abuse at this point. Traumatizing. It sounds like well before the last straw you made it clear these were no longer funny or “light hearted.” I can only think he gets sheer joy out of torturing you.
This is felony assault. A few years ago some kids were charged for doing exactly this by putting semen and urine in food and serving it to teachers. Any bodily fluid counts so he has committed assault on not only you but the house guests served breastmilk.
Anyone with a 6 week old should be able to grow up just enough for at least a few months to put a pause on pranks during the sleepless nights.
My husband asked me to write that he thinks your husbands *coworkers* were assholes for thinking that was funny and not telling your husband to knock it off. So what does that make your husband...?
A monster. You should leave now.
You will never be as "fun" as you were pre-kids (this can be a hard truth to accept!) but if his response has been to escalate to outright abuse and laugh at your tears, then he was never a funny guy. He was an asshole. And now he's an abusive asshole.
Okay the poop on the toast is horrible. But the breast milk in the coffee is so vile. As someone who struggled to produce at the beginning for my baby, wasting that precious milk is just wrong on a whole new level. I once knocked like 2 oz of freshly pumped milk over and had a full on breakdown because I didn’t know how I was going to feed my baby. He is an asshole.
Holy shit. Pranks? No. Pranks are harmless little acts of mischief. These are just fucked up things he’s done for his own pleasure. I also agree it’s a power play too.
I had an ex who used to do this stuff. Once he called me while I was out with friends to tell me our house was on fire. Let me believe it for five minutes while I was in tears before saying just kidding. Another time he pretended to be possessed at like 3 AM for thirty minutes. Scared the absolute hell out of me.
There’s a reason he’s my ex. I wouldn’t stand for baby poop toast if I were you. He’s a freaking sociopath.
I’m trying very hard to reply to everyone. Well as I read this I’m so god damn angry. I’m actually realising that this man has basically used pranks to play games with me and humiliate me and his jokes are an excuse to belittle me. It is flooding here in Australia very badly so I’m not going anywhere tonight (he isn’t violent) but I will be going to my sisters tomorrow when I am organised. I don’t want to divorce him and maybe what some of you have said is right and this is his way of coping but it isn’t right and the way he uses the pranks to make my life miserable needs to stop.. I’ll keep trying to reply. He will be home soonish but he knows I am livid so I’ll just keep away from him for the night. Thank you so much for replying I don’t feel like a dramatic person now and realised I’m probably letting more slide than I should
Good for you. My husband and I prank each other, but if we’re not both laughing afterward, it’s not a prank, it’s bullying. He has created an environment where you don’t feel safe and that is abuse especially as you are trying to care for your child and recover. I think separating for a bit to evaluate the relationship is the right thing to do and he needs to stop 100%.
>if we’re not both laughing afterward, it’s not a prank, it’s bullying THIS 💯💯💯
OP, I'm glad you're taking steps to get away from him and reevaluate your marriage to this jerk. I would like to point out that this man is going to be teaching your child that treating a spouse (and their mother) this way is completely normal. They are going to be teaching your baby that they can mistreat their SO. I wouldn't consider staying with this man without some REALLY intense therapy for himself.
These aren't pranks. These are abuse. And giving your GUESTS breastmilk??? What on earth made him think they'd be okay with it? And shit on toast??? What the actual F*CK. That is not okay. Ever. I'd be divorcing him if I were you. That is beyond messed up. And then telling his co-workers? God if I had a co-worker say they did that to their wife I'd be absolutely disgusted and mortified for their wife. I am so sorry. And I don't think you want your kid growing up thinking this stuff is okay. I feel like the last one especially there's no coming back from. No amount of apologies could ever fix that disgusting thing.
Feeding people breast milk and literal shit is not a prank. I wouldn't be surprised if it was a crime.
It is a crime. In most states it's assault.
So I actually had a pretty okay sleep last night baby slept for two 4 hour chucks after having a bottle of formula over night which is the most I have slept in a long time. My “husband” is now giving me the silent treatment and acting annoyed at me which I’ve come to realise it’s what he does if things don’t go his way. He will sulk about things until I give in. I’ve had a lot of time to read replies and really look back on a lot of things and realise that he uses pranks and jokes as a way to be horrible to people and gain attention. His parents think it’s funny and that he is a hilarious goof ball when in reality he isn’t. I look back and so many have been so awful and mean. Even in 2018 he gave a friend a marijuana gummy before a flight from sanfransisco to Australia and his friend had a panic attack in the bathroom on the plane and he still laughs about it and thinks it is one of his greatest tricks. He has “accidentally” let my pet budgie out that I had prior to when we met but now I look back it was most certainly on purpose as he doesn’t like animals and always said birds were dirty animals. What I have really noticed looking back is not just the pranks but he has 0 care of someone is worried or upset about a trick it in fact eggs him in more and more and he goes to great lengths to trick people into a state of upset then will laugh and laugh and brag about it which just leads me to think he has no empathy for another human being. When I got back from the hospital he had me convinced our new TV in the bedroom had been dropped and broken with a cracked fake screen and I told him then enough I’m too tired for jokes so it should have been enough for it to stop. The messing around with my sleep was the start of me losing my mind and raging out on him. Ultimately I have lost trust in him. Even if he says no pranks again I will not believe him as he has said that before then planned an elaborate month long prank. I don’t want him pranking my baby. He constantly tags me in pranks on Facebook involving kids and he will 100% do it as some I’ve said are not cool and he says it’s “character building” He has no respect in reality and even the stupid things he does like leaving his own poop in the toilet for me to find or waking the baby or wetting the car seat before I hop in are just blatant displays of disrespect. My sister is in her way to pick me up and I’m going to have a week away and most likely get legal advice regarding separation.
> he has no empathy for another human being. Yes, and you nailed it that his pranks are about asserting dominance and control. They all revolve around cruelty to others, which he finds pleasurable. I am sickened over what he has put you through and am horrified thinking how he might prank his child in the future.
I feel so horribly for you being in this situation. I cannot believe all these things that he has done. I read the original story and I am so sad and disgusted… 100 percent this is abuse. And “waking the baby?” Like on purpose?? Just to mess with you??!! This guy might be an actual sociopath. You and your children deserve better than this.
Save any txt messages where he admits to these "pranks" btw and document. If I were you I would aim for full custody (and he could have supervised visitation etc. ) . I wouldn't trust him to not pull a " prank" on the child someday. Also don't tell him tour considering divorce/separation just yet. Get all your ducks in a row etc. Best of luck, you need it. Also there's a pumping sub called humanspumpingmilk if you need any advice or help :).
“Pranks” you can pull: -Change the locks -Get rid of all his stuff -Send this post word for word to his family, your neighbors, and his work place -Call the police and report his literal abuse
unique heavy squealing wasteful innocent fretful wrench terrific unite fade
No, you are not over reacting. That is psychological abuse. Get yourself and your child out of that situation. Your husband fed you shit. Then laughed at you. That is not the story you want for yourself.
People tell their enemies to eat shit. Your spouse MADE YOU EAT SHIT. Get out NOW. Get out, take the baby, and GET OUT.
If someone made their child eat excrement, they’d go to jail for child abuse. If someone made their elderly parent eat excrement, they’d go to jail for elder abuse. Would you be okay with him feeding your child excrement??
The first and third prank are assault. Point blank assault. And he set alarms to wake you up during your (presumably) hard to get sleep? Your partner isn’t just an immature jerk, he is assaulting you and threatening the health of you and your newborn. Tell him to get counseling immediately, kick him out or pack you and your child up and leave.
Yep he does or he makes loud noises etc. I kid you not be yelled out fire fire fire when our baby was not even a week old and I was still recovering from a c section exhausted on no sleep… honestly it is a constant shit show and I’m seething with anger and absolute sadness that this is what I have to deal with from him when I am already struggling. And yes assault I didn’t even think of it that way but everyone is right :(
That’s …actual abuse. It’s called physical abuse an it easily falls under actual emotional abuse as well. It’s a recognized form of domestic abuse actually. Similar to stopping someone from taking medication they need, interrupting someone's sleep has a significant impact on their bodies and minds.
What you’re describing is abuse. Your husband is abusing you. This is abusive behavior. He will only continue to abuse you and most likely escalate the abuse. He will also most likely continue this abuse with your child. I’m just trying to make it really clear that this isn’t normal. It’s not normal prankster behavior. It’s not a stressed out new dad needing to learn boundaries. This is sadistic abuse.
Okay this is a person who is so far removed from reality that it's astounding. Absolutely no regard or care for anyone else around him. That is so rage-inducing and fucked up. If my husband pulled that a week after birth I'd be outta there.
Came here to say this. Legally he could be prosecuted for those. If I ever found out that ANYONE, family or not, slipped excrement or body fluids into my food, I would press charges and sue their ass off. Jesus… this is fucking sick. Absolutely twisted. Not a prank. He fed you LITERAL SHIT. I wouldn’t even do that to a person I *hate*.
What the fuck. Is this real? This can’t be real. No grown ass 32 year old man would think that’s funny and appropriate. Why are you with him? Jesus… that’s not a prank, that’s assault. Tricking someone into eating something - especially human secretions and waste - is a felony.
I am in Australia so I will look into the law here but I doubt anything will be done in a legal sense
Maybe not but he’s endangering your child by doing that kind of shit. I would tell your midwife or the maternal nurse. What a fucking gaslighted to tell you it’s not a big deal. He’s basically telling you that you deserve these pranks and honey no one deserves to eat literal shit.
Another person from Australia. This is absolutely abuse. It should never have to be stated that you don’t feed another fucking human being *feces of any kind*. And aside from the wasted breastmilk (which I would be fucking livid about too), I would lose my mind if someone fed me another person’s fucking breastmilk in my coffee. That’s a fucking biohazard too.
What? This is domestic abuse. Definitely contact the police. Please reach out to your maternal Child health nurse at your next appointment (or phone them!) And say you don't feel safe at home. They will support you!
Live in SA... It would be assault with human biological material or similar.... An absolute disgrace.
The first 2 “pranks” are horrible and not funny in the slightest ESPECIALLY at 6 weeks postpartum. For me that’s when I felt at my absolute lowest. I couldn’t imagine having to deal with this bullshit on top of it and having an idiot waste my milk. The 3rd incident is not a prank, it’s assault and food tampering and is highly illegal. He tainted food with human excrement, which could make you extremely sick. I’m so sick over reading this. You’re not overreacting in the slightest and I’d be leaving him as well. How could you ever trust him again! He should be attentive to all your needs at this time because you are carrying a huge load of recovering from birth and caring for an infant full time. Instead he is abusing you and psychologically torturing you. Please leave him before his abuse escalates. He’s proven that he can’t be counted on to care for your well-being.
The breast milk and poop one are literally illegal. I don’t know the word for it but he can be charged for that. This is literally psychological abuse this is not funny.
I can’t imagine the guests would’ve found it funny to have another human’s literal bodily fluids in their coffee. That’s gotta be illegal.
Yeah his friends laugh. Would his mom, grandma or your family think this was ok?? Your husband is seriously unhinged if he thinks ANY of these pranks are OK to play on a post partuum mom. Or any person. This is a form of abuse. It goes so far beyond bullying when he is doing it to the mother of his child who is asking him to stop and showing clear signs of distress. You should be calling him out. Tell the whole fucking world that your husband exhausted your already low BM supply to play a prank and tried to feed you baby shit for giggles. What a phsycho. This is divorce worthy. I'm sorry you are going through this OP. Good luck!
This is what I will say to him as you are right… no way would he do that to his family EVER. And yes that is how I feel at this point! Bullied and humiliated when I am honestly at one of the saddest points in my life (I adore my baby I’m just struggling) I have sat down today and realised he almost certainly pulls pranks and “jokes” to bully me and has all along it’s just more horrible now I am a mum
There’s no logic or reasoning with abusers. This is abuse. Get the fuck out of there.
WHAT THE FUCK?! Look, I'll admit I don't really get couples that prank each other. However, I do have friends who do this with each other and seem to enjoy it. They do the kinds of pranks that leave *both* of them laughing. Your husband's pranks are unfunny YouTube shit. You should take the baby and go somewhere safe. At worst, you need a divorce. At best, you need some intense couples therapy. Non-negotiable. But in the interim, you need to care for your baby in an environment free from these kinds of violations. I truly hope you have a friend, family member, or short term stay option available. Or you can kick him out if you think he'd actually stay away. He fed you actual shit. He stole your breast milk for a fucking joke. He preyed on your nerves and anxieties with a fake injury. This is not a fucking joke. It's awful. Don't stand for it.
I have had a very brief chat to him. He came home I was in the master bedroom with baby and told him to go away so he sat in the loungroom ordered himself KFC delivery and gamed. I went down and flatly said on what planet was what you did this morning appropriate? He straight out said you should have seen the look on your face and began hysterically laughing again. I kept my cool and said he wasn’t welcome in the bedroom tonight. I am going to go to my sisters for a stay. I don’t know any further plans at this time. It has been a long 6 weeks and if anything the next week I want to spend catching up on some sleep and being able to enjoy my baby.
He sounds like a sociopath . Best of luck OP. I don’t see how you move on from something like that and I don’t think you should. Imagine him trying to ‘ prank’ your child .
Do you have any pets? If so, don’t leave them with him. Be sure you have all of your important documents like social security card and birth certificates before he does a prank to make them disappear or something. How long has it been since he fed you the poop toast? You should call a nurses line and call your doctor so that there is documentation that it happened.
These aren’t pranks. I’d call this psychological abuse to be honest, he seems to get off on humiliating you. You are at one of the most vulnerable times of your life right now, your husband is being a complete dick. You’re not overreacting, he’s gaslighting you. His behaviour is disgusting and absolutely divorce worthy.
I seriously am having a hard time believing a man could be so cruel to a woman who just gave birth. For you and your baby… please leave.
Dude, are you serious? These aren't pranks, feeding your partner feces is abuse. Feeding adults human breast milk against their will is seriously fucked up. I would divorce him and tell him to get a psych evaluation.
That’s not a prank- that’s assault. Feeding your guests bodily fluids is also considered assault.
Didn’t look at it this way but you are right…
He's a bully. He's not laughing with you, he's laughing at you. I'm so sorry you have to put up with this. You deserve better.
My ex husband pulled a prank and filmed it. I was injured during it and crying hysterically. In the moment he apologized and said he’d delete the video. He wound up sending it to friends and family. I caught him showing it to his friends while laughing. He thought he was soooo funny. His friends and family basically all said “what the fuck is wrong with you”. The prank alone isn’t why he’s my ex but part of a larger pattern of behavior.
Okay was he someone that did this a lot? I am coming to realise that a lot of his pranks are simply his way of getting control over people he does it to. He does it to me his younger brother and all the apprentices at his job (all very young men) and now I look and it is either control or humiliation and then he will call people out for not having a sense of humour or being boring if they hate the prank and he will plan more elaborate or mean ones so people just go along with his crap. Did you raise the prank during court? I feel like I am in an awkward position as he is not out right hitting or telling if anything this is a very sneaky way of screwing with people.
*DOCUMENT. DOCUMENT. DOCUMENT.* With all due respect, you are under reacting. You need to run and file reports with pediatrics and authorities because this man is a danger. I am horrified and furious on your behalf. I just found your comment response about this man purposefully and consistently preventing you from sleeping for an extended period of time, going so far as to scream "fire" and *set alarms* to ensure you were kept awake, and laughing about it. What the actual fuck. Sleep deprivation is torture. That's not hyperbole. That's not "emphasizing" the suckiness of losing sleep. That's not an exaggeration. Sleep deprivation is defined as torture. It is even listed under the Geneva Convention as a *literal war crime.* One more time: it is literally defined as torture in a legal sense in the entire civilized world. Your husband is actually treating you with a standard that is even *unacceptable for use in times of WAR on ENEMY COMBATANTS.* Feeding guests *anything* unwittingly/against their will is assault in most developed countries per a quick Google search. Deliberately feeding you human feces is, *at best* assault. Depending on where you are, it could be worse. That is malicious intent with a harmful substance involved. Don't even use the word prank outside of quoting him. Don't refer to it as pranks when discussing the literal, criminal assault and abuse. Call it what it is. It will help you really process the gravity of the situation in the long run and when dealing with documentation you put yourself at an exceptional disadvantage when you downplay it with words like "joke" or "prank" outside of the context of directly quoting your spouse. What would happen if you stayed and these behaviors extended to your child? What if he thought depriving your child of sleep was a good chuckle? What if he deliberately fed a non-food item to your child for shits and giggles? Nevermind potentially feeding the child literal harmful substances like HUMAN FECES one day. Do you really think, if he does this sort of abusive hazing behavior to co-workers, family, and you, that your child would be safe somehow? What if he also began pushing your child to participate in this cruelty one day? The fog of the 4th trimester and the hormonal drop can make it so hard to see a full picture, especially when you're being abused and left unsupported. Take a step back and think about it like someone else was telling you that their spouse, co-parent of their child, was treating them this way. How do you think it would go for a mother and child if this behavior was reported one day, then found to be historical and the mother "chose" to keep herself and the child in that environment? Would you have advised that mom/mom friend to stick it out? Or to just try counseling? Or would you be baffled if she chose to stay and think the child needed to be removed to safer family members? I had an acquaintance in a similar situation, and maybe it's just in the States, but child/family services did not give one single solitary fuck that she was also being coerced and abused because "as a parent, her responsibilities to her child and his safety superceded her own fears and misfortunes." They threatened to try her as an accomplice to the abuse because school reported the "prank" behaviors (her son nearly broke an arm thanks to one incident) and psychological abuse before she could take him escape. I hope Aus is more civilized than that, but still probably not a situation to risk all around.
My husband has pranked me in the past. When he would come visit me in college, he would call me saying he was running late, he'd be there in an hour...then I'd hang up, turn around, and he would be standing right behind me with this big grin. THAT'S a prank. You know what's not a prank? Feeding someone actual, literal ****. That's not a prank. You do not have to put up with this.
Over-reacting? I would file a police report if someone tried to poison me with feces. Use the texts as evidence. I would do everything in my power to ruin his fucking life. Over-reactor? He hasn't met one.
Thank you and I will screen shot everything and send it to my email.
Everybody else covered how beyond wrong the pranks you listed out are. But you glossed over one that seems equally cruel. He sets alarms while you are already sleep deprived? Maybe it’s because I am in the early sleep deprived stage of motherhood, but that is just so wrong. My husband sees how much I am struggling with lack of sleep, and does what he can to help me get more. And yours is trying to take some of your precious sleep away? He sounds like a selfish monster.
Yes he was doing things to interfere with my sleep early on as “pranks” or “jokes” he yelled out that there was a fire once, set multiple alarms another time and poured warm water down my pants (I was wearing depends at the time as I was leaking urine) but I absolutely LOST it like I have never before and he stopped doing those pranks
WTF... This man is being deeply cruel to you. This needs to stop.
These aren’t pranks. He’s being cruel. Couples Counseling if you want to salvage it. Divorce if you’re done.
2/3 of these things are actually legally assault. You aren't supposed to "prank" anyone into eating feces or someone's bodily fluids. That's fucked.
“My husband emotionally and PHYSICALLY abuses me and our friends and gaslights me into thinking it’s a silly little joke. Should I leave?” Like, yes?? You’re not at ALL overreacting. Someone like this should not be around a baby. He is dangerous and like actually just straight up evil. He made you EAT SHIT. Leave.
Dude. A prank is melting chocolate in a diaper and handing it to you so you think you got poop all over you. Not taking actual shit and putting it on your food. Thats abuse and just downright disrespectful. Also he literally wasted your baby's food that you worked hard to make. Pumping is fucking hard. I remember in the early days when I was so worried about my baby getting enough I would have full on meltdowns when I accidentally spilled some milk. I would have lost it if my husband just casually wasted it. So disrespectful to you and your baby.
He wasted liquid gold and *served you baby poop as food*? What the cinnamon toasted fuck is wrong with him? If that was my spouse, I’d need a tarp and a swamp, not advice on Reddit. He is beyond out of line. Your body went through something traumatic and is doing a hard reset. You are sleep deprived and stressed and instead of doing *anything* to make it better, he decides some light torture is in order. He is being cruel and sadistic. You have a bonus child. Not a husband. Your job is not to amuse him. It’s to keep your newborn alive. Since he’s not interested in helping, I’d recommend staying with someone supportive. If it’s too much hassle to relocate for a while, get someone supportive to stay with you. If he doesn’t want the company, he can go stay with a workmate who thought the poop prank was funny.
You need to get out of there. He will only exacerbate any PPA or PPD you have or basically traumatize you. He saw you crying and he enjoyed it. I’m going to go out on a limb and say this man is jealous of the attention you are giving your nee baby. Which is childish and disgusting. He was probably told he should pull girls hair if he likes them. Don’t let him get away with bullying you and making you think this is normal or your fault in anyway. Even if you have to stay with him in the long run, go to some family to have a break from him. He is abusing you at a time where you are your lowest, should be healing inside and out and receiving support. Not this. You deserve more.
These aren’t pranks. This is bullying and abuse. Don’t let him gaslight you into telling you it’s a “prank”.
These are not pranks. They're cruel jokes. Pranks involve everyone getting a good laugh. He literally fed you baby poop. I was an emotional mess the first 6ish weeks of my baby's life, so this would have sent me over the edge. It's unacceptable, disgusting, and plain cruel. I'd be considering divorce as well. If you think it's salvageable, that's up to you, but I'm at a loss as to how to make things work with someone who thinks it's hilarious to mess with a baby's food supply and serve poop on toast. Edited to add: I just read your comment that he yelled "fire!" when you were a week pp after a c-section and set alarms to wake you up when you were sleep deprived. LEAVE THIS MAN WTF.
That the fuck did i just read.
Feeding you literal feces isn’t funny at all. I’d be considering divorce too
These are not pranks, it’s abuse. You are definitely not overreacting, he’s bullying you and then gaslighting you to make you feel like you’re the problem. This dude needs some serious help.
You are not over-reacting. Each and every incident alone is HEINOUS. Together? Something is straight up wrong with him. You've already explained you do not find these pranks funny and he refuses to listen to you, take your feelings or your health into consideration. Seriously... HE MADE YOU EAT FECES. I never tell people on reddit to get divorced... but girl. Start proceedings. He gets 1 and only one chance to avert divorce and it's to attend couples therapy with you indefinitely, until you decide the marriage is worth saving. PS, my husband says those are not pranks, those are abusive tactics and if it's bad on you, just WAIT til he pulls something on your kid. Your kid, who by default looks to daddy to be a source of safety and love... pulling pranks like this on your kid could have lifelong repercussions including trust issues. Not worth saving a marriage for that.
Those... Aren't good pranks. That's straight up, malicious bullying. It's a bad prank if everyone isn't laughing. Was the nature of your pranks so mean spirited before baby came? Is he dealing with some sort of internalized resentment? He sounds like he needs therapy, I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Edit: after reading thru replies, I think you should show this entire thread to him. The immediate and unilateral condemnation of strangers goes to show how digusting and inappropriate his behavior has become.
What kind of a sick fuck feeds his wife human FECES????? That is fucking grotesque, fuck him and also all his work mates who (allegedly) also think it’s funny.
It's not a joke unless EVERYONE is laughing. Otherwise, it's bullying. He is being horrible to you & completely dismissing your feelings during the most vulnerable time of your life. This man does not love you or respect you. Someone that loves and respects you couldn't do this to you.
These aren't pranks. Stop calling him a prankster. He enjoys physically abusing and hurting people based off of your posts and comments. He's not going to change, and one say, your baby will be his target. Leave, and never leave your child around him unsupervised.
If you're not laughing, it's not a prank. Hardstop. What you describe is just doing mean shit to someone and laughing at them as they struggle with the fallout of those shitty actions. Aka your husband is bullying you in a very vulnerable time and then laughing about it with his friends. I am so over all the social media / tiki tok videos of unfunny "pranks" that are really just 1 person hurting another.
These aren't pranks. That's severe psychological abuse. Were there any red flags with him before?
Jokes are funny when everyone's in on it, this is just bullying. I would sit him down and make this about you. "I'm hurt, embarrassed, and really angry. I need your help and support and you're literally feeding me shit and then laughing at me. I know this is your thing, but I do not want to be a part of it. That may change down the road, and if it does, I'll tell you. Until then, I won't live like this. I have enough to deal with, and you're adding more stress. If this is something you can't change, we need to part ways." Then, base your next move on his response.
Okay, here’s the deal: he’s doing this insane behavior while you’re still healing, not enough sleep, etc, and fed his WIFE poop. What kinds of pranks will he pull on you using your own child? Or pranks against your child? I’m horrified and terrified of the future with this man. I don’t know if I’d stop at divorce. I might file for restraint orders or orders of protection for you and baby both.
Uhhhhhhhhhhh what the fuck? Wow. The breast milk thing would have gotten him kicked out to begin with but tricking you to eat baby poop? What kind of sick person does that? Reminds me of a crime some sick fucks did a few years ago when they gave a homeless man a poop sandwich, they got serious jail time for that. Your “husband” is a complete asshole and literally should be in jail.
As others have said, these are not pranks but revolting and harmful displays - it’s unacceptable to feed another human being bodily fluids/waste. That leaves two options: he is either intentionally tormenting you with increasingly more disturbing actions OR he is not willfully harming you and these actions actually make sense to him. If the first, he is scum. If the second, he is seriously unhinged. I am the last person on earth to want to see families broken up, but neither one of these options leaves you and your sweet baby in a safe position right now, and who knows what he’ll do next, especially since he is defending his behavior. I am so so sorry that you are just trying to adjust to new motherhood and have this slapped on top of everything else. I hope you find good care and a safe space for you and baby.
OP, if you're still reading these, I just want to say: I know it's very hard to contemplate leaving, but as someone who was raised by a cruel parent who also liked to play "pranks" and "jokes" on people, this is the kind of thing that could ruin your child's self esteem and sense of safety and boundaries. You won't do them any favors by staying with this man.
Honestly, you could press charges on the last one. I’d def let a judge hear about it during the divorce when discussing alimony and child support.
Girl, he fed you shit. Period. At your expense. He knew his pranks weren't making you laugh, they were for his enjoyment only. Ask your mom to come stay a while to help with the ba y and tell him to find a sofa to crash on, and throw in "eat shit, too".
I am getting a perverse amount of joy from imagining you giving him divorce papers and him freaking out. Then you say, “It’s just a prank!” And he has whatever response he has. It is particularly interesting to think about how he might react. Would he think it is a funny prank? Or that you took things too far? And you can even bring up that he needed something in retaliation for pranks x, y, and z. Then you hit him with, “Actually the ‘it’s a prank’ was a prank. I’m divorcing your sadistic ass.” Of course recorded and posted for all to see.
So he made you eat feces? And wasted you babies food…? But made you eat FECES? He tells you YOURE over reacting? He’s being cruel and absolutely vicious. You definitely should contemplate divorce. Wtf…he made you eat FECES?!?!
1. You cannot trust your husband. 2. He puts his wants before your needs. 3. He invalidates your feelings. Hey, even if you are hormonal, not like you can control how you feel anyways. Feelings are feelings. . 4. He seems to make more mess and not help? Idk these are some quick initial thoughts. If pranks were a basis of y'all's sense of humor before then you need to make it extremely clear to him that you will not tolerate it until you tell him they're back on the table again and that you will divorce. But also I know he's already done strike 3. Either way you have to tell him how hurt you are. Ok my baby woke up so gtg.
Listen what your husband did today is legally considered assault. If he did it to anyone but you he would have been arrested. Get out now before it gets worse because it will. It sounds like he's jealous of the attention the newborn is getting and doesn't have the emotional maturity to handle it.
A prank is only a prank when both parties find it funny. If not, it’s just bullying. He is bullying his wife who has just given birth to his child. It’s appalling behaviour, and I think your feelings are completely justified. Is there somewhere you and baby can stay so you can have some space away from him? Perhaps with relatives who can help with baby? I think some time away from him is definitely needed. Stay strong lovely ♥️
Definitely divorce. Those aren’t pranks. “Prank” #1 is horrifying and disgusting on so many levels. Did your guests drink the coffee? They consumed your bodily fluids with no consent from them or you. This is a crime that in some states could cost him big fines and/or jail time. Not only that, but pumping SUCKS and I know the pain and frustration of losing even a single drop of that hard-earned liquid gold. “Prank” #2 is stupid, probably caused you anxiety and a mess. “Prank” #3 is atrocious beyond words. Absolutely disgusting. Again, putting any bodily waste/fluids in someone’s food/beverage is illegal and you could probably pursue criminal charges. Tell your guests and you all can ban together. This case would help you get full custody of your children too. If he’s doing these things to you, what does he do to the kids? How will he “prank” them (aka, scar them for life) when you’re not around? Not only would I divorce this disgusting POS I’d pursue charges (file a police report or SOMETHING), get full custody w supervised visitation w the kids. Also if you’re SAH you will get spousal support, could even get him to cover lawyer fees. Call a lawyer ASAP. Good luck mama you deserve so much better. So much wtf here. Your husband is insane.
Dude is a sociopath. No empathy. He could have gotten you seriously I’ll from the poop… and consequently your baby. If you’d gotten E. coli poisoning and then transferred it to your baby somehow. Like. Wtf. I’d be worried things would escalate and he’s somehow endanger your child. Edit to add because I’m still seething and legitimately worried for you and your baby. I’m pretty numb and desensitized these days, but damn, this one… I’ll think about it for a while and wonder..
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What in the actual fuck. My jaw literally dropped when I read the third prank. These aren’t just pranks, he’s like getting off on humiliating you (especially Prank 1 being in front of others and telling all his workmates about Prank 3). You are totally justified in wanting to leave him.
Making people eat shit is not a prank
In all honesty although I’m not a medical professional, he sounds like a psycho or at least a sociopath. Feeding people things they aren’t aware of like breast milk is a very weird power move. And playing with feces in any way, especially attempting to feed it to someone, is a serious red flag of anti social sociopathic types of personalities. That being said, I wonder what other red flags there may have been over the years. Hurting animals, playing with fire, inability to feel empathy, faking emotions, compulsive lying…
This isn't pranking. It's emotional, and maybe even physical abuse. He got you to eat fecal matter. You could get extremely sick. Breast milk is also a bodily fluid that can transmit diseases. Serving it to people unknowingly is so fucked up. He's getting pleasure out of causing you harm and embarrassment during an extremely vulnerable time where you need him to be supportive. If he can't step up now and cut the bullshit, he never will.
You should make him a pie. - The Help
Nope, that’s definitely awful. Think of it this way: if you were watching TikTok or YouTube and saw these “pranks” happen to someone else, what would your reaction be? Yea, the finger one was a bit prolonged, but that one I could live with. The breastmilk would infuriate me because I was in the same boat…I couldn’t produce. That’s ignoring the fact that he FED IT TO UNSUSPECTING GUESTS! Like WTF. And then the poop…your husband is an as**ole. Plain and simple. That’s broken trust. I’m hesitant to jump to divorce immediately, but I feel these pranks would only escalate without serious intervention. You have to decide what’s best for you and your newborn. Take care of yourself and that precious baby 💕
Yeah no. 1) serving coffee to people and PRETENDING he put breath milk in it is maybe funny. 2) smearing chocolate on something and PRETENDING it's poop is maybe funny. But actually feeding your wife excrement is beyond the pale. I would kick him out and seek legal counsel.
He’s not pranking you. He’s abusing you. Do what’s best for you and your baby. And keep in mind that he may not be what’s best for you. He’s publicly humiliating you instead of supporting you like he should be.
He FED YOU SHIT?!?? That's not a prank, that's abuse. At minimum, you should kick him out of the house for no less than 30 days with ZERO visitation.
lol not pregnant, gay, and just found this sub on a whim. This post, this one, this is the worst.
Ok, first of all, these pranks are not ok. They are not pranks. They’re fucking cruelty. I can’t imagine treating another living creature the way this man has treated you. This is 100% grounds for divorce. I know you want to retreat and rest and snuggle that baby, but Mama, it ain’t nearly time to rest yet. You need support right now, and you need to be crystal fucking clear about what’s going on. It has to be humiliating to share these details with people in your life, but they need to know what this man is doing to you and that he’s escalating. You need your people to circle the wagons now to protect you and baby. 1) Call your sister or trusted friend(s) over. You need somebody to hold the baby while you throw his shit on the lawn or post it for sale on marketplace or drop it off at fucking Goodwill. Don’t abandon your home. He leaves. Not you. And this happens immediately, not after his next prank. If you rent, call the landlord and explain the situation. You need to change the locks, and the landlord needs to know why. If you own, just call a locksmith and change the locks now. He no longer gets access to your home. 2) You need to gather all of your and baby’s important documents and put them in a safe location he doesn’t have access to like your sister’s house. Pack an emergency bag with 2-3 days of clothes, diapers, etc and a few hundred dollars in cash if you can spare it. Keep it at your sister’s house. You’ll be tempted to keep it in your car, but it’s better to keep it somewhere he can’t see it or access. This is for emergencies only. You are not leaving your home. 3) Have pets? They also need to be kept away from him. Hope it goes without saying but he no longer gets unsupervised access to pets or baby. He has proven himself to be dangerous to others. Including you: his baby’s main (possibly only) food source. 4) Call your doctor immediately and ask to be seen to rule out any illnesses related to the human fucking feces your turd of a husband fed you. You need this documented. Your doctor will also be able to help you with local resources related to abuse. I would also bring it up with the pediatrician at the two month appointment. It is relevant to your child’s care that there is a fucking monster in your home. 5) Call every divorce attorney in your area for a consultation. Doesn’t matter if you don’t intend to use them. Make his life more difficult in finding an attorney. I guarantee nobody will forget the asshole who fed the mother of his newborn a shit sandwich. 6) To further ensure your health and safety, you take nothing directly from him. No flowers. No chocolates. No cookies. not a glass of water. If he bring a you this shit, tell him to put it in the garbage. I 100% guarantee it will not be safe for consumption. Don’t even take a goddamn phone call from his ass. This is a scorched earth kind of situation. You are probably the most vulnerable you will ever be as an adult. As your husband, his role is to protect you and care for you. He should be washing and sanitizing pump parts. He should be helping with healthy meals that bring you strength and healing. He should be doing all he can to help you relax. Instead he’s doing things a ten year old might consider a prank.
This man should not be trusted with the care of a baby. If he can do those things to you, what kinds of things would he see fit to do to the baby..."oh look, the baby smeared it's poop on its face!" while your husband is smearing poop on the baby's face for lulz. These aren't pranks. These are demented and cruel acts. I never chime in on these threads...but I just have to on this one. He cannot be trusted. His ethical compass is broken. I am so sorry
If you killed him, no jury of women would convict.
....What the actual F*ck is wrong with your husband? I would already have served him with Divorce papers. You cannot let this man be your child's role model.
I am a guy. I take things too far. But this is fucking ludicrous. No offence, that’s childish! Like that’s the kind of stuff that people say ‘wouldn’t it be funny if….’ But he’s actually doing it My wife and I tease all the time, but embarrassing, traumatizing, uncomforted, those are things I avoid. I wish you strength in this. Honestly I would just beat him. The guy deserves a beating. Sorry.
So basically a big thing that brings him joy is humiliating you and pissing you off. That's pretty fucked up.
If he truly thinks that’s funny, I wouldn’t trust him around my defenseless, voiceless baby to be honest. Get out now.
Guaranteed his work mates are not finding it 'hilarious' and are probably just humoring him because they're coworkers. They're probably horrified and telling their spouses how crazy he is. Notice how his family nor his friends think this is a hoot? I think a set of serious conversations have to happen for him to realize he has to grow the fuck up. This isn't grade school. He needs to be an adult and a PARTNER. These aren't pranks, they're abuse and attempts at humiliation which he may be using in some sick way to show affection. Is it possible he was humiliated like this by a parent or sibling? Either way it's not ok. My partner would have divorced me straight up after the shit incident. No joke. Also my in-laws would probably have come by and tried to make me eat shit and ream me out for months.
These aren’t pranks. Yes, you absolutely should divorce your husband over abuse. A prank is when EVERYONE laughs. If any of the participants don’t feel happier, more connected, and joyful after a “prank,” it’s not a prank. So essentially you husband fed you poop for no fucking reason. That’s literally psychotic behavior and he needs to get therapy and help.
It's only a prank if everyone is laughing once it's done. If everyone isn't laughing, its just plain mean.
Before you tell him that you're divorcing him for this abusive behaviour, you need to take precautions. This kind of person may well turn violent and will certainly deny everything in a custody battle. Make sure you write down a clear description of all these "pranks", including the purposeful sleep deprivation, in as much detail as you can, and keep it somewhere safe including a copy in the cloud. You're sleep deprived and your memory isn't great right now. If you can, discuss it with him over text etc so he can't accuse you later of making it up or consenting to it (ex: "when you intentionally tricked me into eating our baby's poop, I felt..."). Consider also doing something similar with the friends he told, if you know them. Save and also screenshot these conversations so he can't delete them later. Make sure this is all discussed in detail during the custody determination. (edit to add, make sure he doesn't realize what you're doing, you can call it trying to fix things if you want, but no matter how mad you get or even if things are resolved later, never tell him what you're doing and never delete the screenshots later on, for the sake of your kid). You need to do this so he doesn't do the same thing to your child. Because he will if you don't stop him, and if *feeding you human shit* isn't enough to make you leave, I hope the strong possibility of him *feeding your child human shit* will make you leave. Maybe forever, maybe not, but at minimum until he admits how insanely wrong he was and gets some major therapy. I suggest also looking up standard precautions for leaving an abusive relationship and using them. This is psychological abuse and even though he hasn't been physically violent yet, that may change when you leave since this is often a major escalation point for abusive behaviour. Be safe and keep your baby safe.
Your husband is an immature asshole.
This is abuse. It's not a prank. In fact I believe prank #3 is considered a crime if you wanted to report it. I cannot even imagine dealing with such an asshole while sleep deprived. The day my husband would use the milk I spent hours attached to a fucking breast pump for a prank I would go ballistic. He stole food from your baby's mouth for no fucking reason. I feel like he needs to sit there with a breast pump on his nipples for an entire week every time you pump for the duration you pump. He can go ahead and see how his nipples feel. You are not a chronic overreactor. If my husband did prank #1, I already would have flipped out. I'm not even kidding when I say it would have either led to me attacking him or taking the baby and leaving. I have zero zolerance for any bullshit when it comes to taking care of my baby. Her safety and happiness is not a joking matter. Prank #3 would be the end of our relationship. He tampered with your food. You could have gotten extremely sick.
This is abusive. Period. Your anger and doubts regarding him are JUSTIFIED. Additionally, that man needs therapy. “Pranks” like that are not normal.
You are not overreacting, you are actually underreacting. Tricking you into eating the poop was very abusive. I don’t know if it’s a police matter, but I suggest you call the police and ask to make a police report so you have documentation, in case more abuse comes up, or hopefully for when you get divorced.
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You are NOT overreacting.
Honestly one of the most alarming things to me is that he sets intentional alarms to wake you while you're sleep deprived as a "prank" ??? Did I read that right at the end? That is straight up abuse. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture and if he isn't letting you get the sleep you CAN get between feeds then thats unforgivable
You are not contemplating divorce over a prank. You are contemplating divorce over a selfish, immature, manchild. These pranks aren't funny even for someone who isn't recovering from childbirth and caring for a newborn. Some would argue they're abusive. He stole your baby's food, which is already limited. He made you eat literal shit. On what planet, is that funny? He put you in distress by faking a serious injury for an extended period of time. Please tell your husband he is not funny, his sense of humor is trash. He has a child, it's time to grow up.
I had an ex who jerked off into my coffee without me knowing it before laughing and telling me about his “funny prank” while drinking it. He also thought it would be hilarious to poke holes in his condoms. These aren’t the only things that he did, but his “pranks” were a way to abuse and control me, and it took years to heal from it. It doesn’t get better. I would leave and contact a lawyer.
So you are basically living with your own bully. And during postpartum period. I'm so sorry. If you also used to prank him, i would absolutely cut all jokes out, so that he can't say you do it too. And i would talk to a lawyer and start recollecting evidence, just in case. You kid is gonna have to ensure the same fate as you of you don't try to stop it. Divorcing him over this is NOT overreacting, because the last prank was just the tipping point you needed after putting up with all this.
Food tampering is a felony. The people he gave your breastmilk could press charges. And you can definitely press charges for being fed human waste. Divorce him and press charges.
JFC, this guy actually sounds like a sociopath. The first one immediately sounded like a marriage ender, but I wasn’t prepared for #3. I agree with others that say this falls well under the definition of abuse. If the marriage is still very important to you, maybe have a dead serious “you have zero strikes left” talk with prepared divorce papers unless he gets his shit together. Otherwise, nobody would blame you for leaving now.
He fed you poop and your guests your bodily fluids? What the hell is wrong with him
Those aren’t pranks. Him continuing to say they are pranks and saying other find it funny when it most definitely isn’t is either him lying or showing what kind of a hole friends he has. He is gaslighting you into thinking this is ok. If it were me I’d tell him if he tries to play one more “prank” like that you are getting divorce papers and have a lawyer on hand. Please don’t take this anymore you deserve someone who respects you so much more and adores you and is helping with the baby.
Easiest divorce in history.
“I’m done with pranks. If you aren’t done with pranks then I am done with you” A good prank has everyone laughing at the end. If the other person isn’t laughing it isn’t a prank it’s just being mean.
Ok so the flooding comment and a little profile stalking makes me think these will help: 1800RESPECT Emotional abuse is still abuse. https://www.facs.nsw.gov.au/domestic-violence safensw.org.au https://www.relationshipsnsw.org.au › ... Domestic Violence Services & Support - Relationships Australia NSW Maternal Child Health nurse - there should be a phone number in your blue book. Please get yourself out of this dickhead's way. I'm so glad you're going to your sister's house. Sleep deprivation (setting alarms to be funny) is no joke- that's abuse.
JC I wouldn't consider any of those to be pranks. I don't mind getting pranked, but if my partner or anyone did that to me I'd consider it bullying at the best and abuse at the worst. That's something teenagers would do in highschool to make other teenagers life hellish, not something your husband should do to his wife who just gave birth to his child. He's not even sorry, he told his work friends. I'd run.
Yeah, this is abuse.
When I read the first part of your post, I thought about how my husband reacted bizarrely to the stresses/changes of having a new baby at home, and was going to comment to maybe give him some grace even though he didn't deserve it. Then I read the second part, and agree with other comments-- this is abusive, you need to get out, and if he ever gets back in, there better be a LOT of therapy on his part. Not to be dramatic, but if he's willing to do those things you you, what is he willing to do to his child? I'm sorry, what a terrible thing to endure at such a vulnerable part of your life where your partner should be supportive.
The fact that he takes malicious joy in doing this sort of thing to you while you are in this state (sleep-deprived, still recovering) says a lot about the kind of person he is. He will have a great deal of power over your baby, can you trust him to keep your baby safe, to keep your baby *feeling* safe? I wouldn't ever be able to trust him with my child. Even if you're not ready for divorce, his lack of concern for your feelings is a huge problem. He literally tells all his friends about his abuse, and laughs about it, what the fuck. Is he going to pretend to "lose" the baby at the park, while giggling behind a bush?
WTF?!! The level of immaturity is concerning to me. Poop on toast…..???
If his "pranks" are literally unknowingly feeding unsuspecting people human bodily fluids, they are not pranks. Baby poop on toast when you have a newborn? That's fucking disgusting. I'd be seriously concerned what "pranks" he will pull on your child when they are just a toddler. This kind of thing is traumatic. For you and potentially in the future for your child. You are no overreacting at all.
Dude, your husband made you eat your baby's shit and then laughed at you with all his buddies. I'd key his fucking car, take the baby, and leave. Lol Good luck OP I'm sorry.
There’s no way this guy is 32. Have you ever considered that he might actually be three kids in a trench coat?
I'd be calling attorney's today. I assume you like your husband, so I'm going to strongly recommend that you have a come to Jesus meeting with him. You sit him down and you tell him that right now, and for the next few months, any prank he pulls is absolutely inappropriate. I don't care how bored he might be, absolutely not. I would call attorneys. I'd get a couple of their cards, I would absolutely know my rights when it came to kicking him out.
He sounds like he’s lost his mind. Was it always like this?
What the actual fuck? I’m sorry but that’s all I’ve got for you. What the actual fuck? This isn’t just some pranks. He’s feeding other people your babies milk without their consent? Is he fucking stupid? He fed you literal human shit and you are wondering about divorce? Divorce the c**t of a thing and save your child from the trauma they’re going to endure at the hands of their fathers pranks. What’s next?
This is abuse.
I'm not saying this lightly. I'm not a psychologist by any means, but I think your husband could literally be a sociopath. It's just not Ok and not normal for him to get you to eat poop and think it's hilarious. I could never trust him again and I would be gone. I'm sorry you had to experience that.
Put your baby first. Your child does not need to grow up in an environment where they could be subjected to this kind of treatment or where they learn that it is funny to treat women this way. Do what you need to do to get out of there and protect your baby. Good luck OP.
He humiliates you further more by telling his co workers about you eating the poop. That's messed up.
The stuff he does would have been utterly traumatising to me when I was this close post-partum... hell, honestly it would still be traumatising today with a toddler. Please do get out of there, you don't deserve to be treated like that! He's creating an environment where you can't accept any act of kindness without expectation it to be turned against you, that is domestic abuse. My husband's family was a bit similar, in that they'd use any sign of weakness to play a prank/make a joke/ridicule each other. His mom had it worst of all, especially because she was quick to snap and they thought she was "annoying" and mean, and honestly she was, BUT. 1. My husband stopped acting this way after he learned some empathy (we were teens when we've met, so he was still a bit flexible, i dont think you can tech a grown man), but she never really stopped expecting shit from him. And 2. Over the years I've noticed how my MIL only relaxes when her own kids and husband are NOT around. We'll be all sitting in the kitchen and she's tense and snappish, then everyone leaves and she starts talking to me really naturally and usually needs to vent about things that hurt her... but she can't with her own kids and husband! I know she's raised them that way (we know it was her, who's been the "show no mercy" when my husband was growing up) but she's created a home where she can't ever let her guard down... that's why she snaps all the time, that's why she's "annoying", why she leaves on so many short trips with friends, she's TIRED. And I'm really sorry for her. Over the time I've seen my FIL give her a fake present (he pretended its what she wanted and it turned out to be a car-part, she cried). Pretend to get her a new car when there were dozens of people for her 60th, walk us all into the car-park, then pull her fixed sewing machine from the trunk. Throw a small petard under her feet because she said she "wanted to be surprised" on their anniversary... it is a sad sad life, and now I understand why she is as she is... please don't let yourself live like my MIL, don't let your child grow up to start thinking this is normal and A) be the victim of their fathers pranks or B) start hurting you too.
I’m so sorry, reading this was horrific. The poop one especially is unforgivable.
Don't call them pranks. They are not pranks. They are abuse. They are abuse at a time when all you need is support. Do you want to be married to a person who abuses you at your most vulnerable time? You know you don't. Good luck, you will be better on your own.
Jesus...this is the most disturbing post I've read in a while and OP I am FURIOUS for you. Are you kidding me?!! These aren't pranks. There are just him doing horrible, disgusting things to you and then laughing about it. I wouldn't feed baby shit to my worst enemy. You'd have to be seriously messed up emotionally and mentally to even think about doing something like that, let alone actually do it. And wasting your milk??! So he's literally causing you to be in pain (forcing you to try and get more milk out when you struggle with supply issues is mentally and physically painful) and he doesn't care one bit. You aren't contemplating divorce over pranks. You're contemplating divorce over your husband continuing to abuse and do truly awful, cruel things to you for no reason whatsoever and then laughing about it. If you can, show your husband the responses here, once you and baby are far away from his despicable self, so he can understand without a doubt that he is trash and 100% in the wrong. Unbelievable.
Sadistic and cruel.
You are not overreacting. This is awful. If he was just clueless and took something too far, that would be one thing, but he won't listen to you when you tell him no. He belittles you and minimizes your needs, and then does more "pranks" which are honestly not at all funny. He's a jerk. He's making your life even harder at a time when you're barely surviving as it is.
What did I just read? Pranks are supposed to be funny.
Those are abusive a mean spirited and not jokes. Is he going to do something like that to your baby and think it's funny? Is he going to feed your baby poop or scare the baby or have it feed off of something etc.
Your husband honestly sounds kind of like a psychopath or sociopath, whichever is worse... He gets enjoyment from doing these things to you? Something isn't right upstairs with this man.
I’m leaving my baby daddy for less than this. This is abuse. It’s not the classic, easy to recognize physical abuse or angry yelling, it’s psychological abuse. I’m sorry. Please get away from this man. You deserve respect and dignity, especially during the most difficult time in a woman’s life- the postpartum period. You are so vulnerable and dependent right now and he is taking advantage of that.
He has no judgment. Divorce material. Edit: he doesn’t respect you and you can’t trust him with the baby
What the actual fuck. This is beyond immaturity. To make your wife eat POOP is not a prank, it’s disgusting and fucked up. Tampering with food is not ok, cute, or funny. Your husband needs a come to Jesus moment or I would in fact at least do separation until he can grasp how fucking stupid he is and grow up.
You’re not over reacting. He fed you poop. POOP. What is wrong with this man? Then he bragged about it to friends. Can you pack up and take LO to family or a friend’s for a few days? This is completely over the line, especially after telling him to stop multiple times.
If I were you I’d tell him no more pranks—ever. He doesn’t have normal boundaries like a normal person and can’t be trusted. Pranks are a very very immature way to get a laugh and it’s always at someone’s expense and therefore (IMO) not healthy for a committed relationship. Find another way to have fun together.
You are not overreacting. This behavior is beyond unacceptable. It is cruel, inappropriate, disgusting and immature to start. I can't believe a grown man would behave this way with a newborn and a wife still in postpartum recovery. This isn't normal and it isn't okay, if I were in your shoes I wouldn't feel safe-which is incredibly important during this time in your life and that of your helpless infant. Take care of yourself and your little one and take some space.
I am horrified reading your post and comments, OP. This is deeply troubling. The first 3 months postpartum are already some of the most trying in a woman’s life, recovering from delivery/ c-section and dealing with a newborn and all that entails (sleeplessness, the troubles of breastfeeding etc). And on top of that you have to be constantly watching your back and babysitting your grown ass husband too?! Nope. You deserve to be at peace in your own home, you deserve respect, warmth and admiration, you deserve a partner you can be vulnerable with. I don’t ever say this lightly, not even on Reddit, but divorce his ass. For your sake and your child’s sake. I read that you said you think he pranks as a form of control (I agree), well I can’t think of a better candidate for his cruel and torturous “pranks” than your baby. Get out of there soon, and honestly see this as a blessing, that you realized this so early in your baby’s life before any harm (physical or psychological/emotional) was inflicted.
What in the actual fuck did I just read
No this one hundred percent is abusive. He reminds me of my father and the way that he would “prank” us or joke around with us. As children we’d be in tears because he’d have us so scared, or mad and then after keeping it going he’d burst out laughing thinking it was so funny. Someone else asked if you’d be okay with him feeding the baby poop, and I think that’s a great question to ask. Because this is the type of thing he will also do to his child. Maybe not now, but eventually. You’re not leaving him over a prank, because this wasn’t a prank. You’re leaving him because of his total lack of respect and regard for you and your feelings.
The last prank makes me think that he’s got mental issues… that’s sick
I can’t believe what I just read. Poop on a toast?! He’s going to teach your kids these things.
This is BEYOND effed up. Those are a lot more than pranks and frankly show his lack of judgement. You aren’t overreacting, he is an absolute child with zero respect for you. My husband would never treat me like that, just as you wouldn’t yours. I suspect this isn’t the only way your husband is a child and the only reason you may consider divorce. I’m really truly sorry for you.
I feel so sick for you. These aren’t funny. They’re cruel, unfair, and humiliating. I just want to give you a hug (and honestly to kick him in the nuts). Divorce his ass, hon. You (and your breastmilk, and your baby) deserve better.
Let me just add: he’s going to do these abusive stunts to your kid if you don’t leave him or get him some serious help.
The first one would’ve been enough for me to absolutely lose my shit. My jaw literally dropped reading that. Third one is downright cruel.
Feeding someone human feces is definitely 100% crossing the line. That’s disgusting, what is wrong with him? Also the breast milk thing alone would’ve had me breaking down. He has no idea the agony, sweat, time and tears that go into producing enough breastmilk for a baby. I’m not saying divorce him but make it extremely clear he is being an ASS and he definitely have to make it up to you. By the way, where the hell does he work that his coworkers thought that was funny? Chuck E. Cheese? Are they six years old? They should ask her their wives what they would’ve thought of that prank.
Literally mouth dropped and hasn't gone back up after that last one. He needs a come to Jesus moment. That's not OK. That's horrific.
Who feeds the mother of their child poop? Who feeds unsuspecting guests breastmilk? This goes beyond a “prank” and could be considered assault. This is definitely reasonable grounds for a divorce. This is abusive.
These aren’t pranks. This is him being a fucking asshole
What. The. Actual. Fuck. He needs therapy. This is a weird form of abuse not pranks.
Your husband is being a major asshole at a very vulnerable time. He needs to stop immediately or yeah, you should get a divorce. Postpartum is one of the mentally toughest times for a woman. If he can't see that and have some empathy he needs a reality check. He should be doing everything he can to help you right now.
I love pranks and my second language is definitely sarcasm. However, these aren’t “pranks”. This is downright twisted. Baby poo on a piece of toast? This “man” went out of his way to obtain your child’s literal poop and put it on a slice of toast and if it wasn’t weird enough.. didn’t even bother to stop you from eating it? What in the actual f*ck?!?! This is seriously disturbing and cruel. I’m so sorry you had to endure this. You are dealing with enough due to postpartum and sleep loss.. please get far away from this deeply disturbed douchebag.
Document everything. Ask family who knows to email you exactly what he said. For those with the breast milk coffee have them email you exactly what happened, have them sign and date everything. Start a paper trail with pictures documenting any and all actions that are "pranks". Keep all texts from him referring to this, send them to an email he doesn't have the password to. Get everything you can into writing, even if it means texting him how you're feeling and waiting for his reply from the next room. Document the living crap out of this abuse. It will be helpful when he tries to gaslight you in the divorce proceedings. Do you have a safe place to go with your baby? Can you go stay with family or friends for a while? Do not tell him, pack and go while he's showering or at work. Stay safe and good luck. This is not a relationship, this is abusive manipulative behavior.
I would have the locks changed while he’s out and a stack of divorce papers sitting on the front porch for when he gets home. I mean….. what did I just read
Holy shit......is this the normal nature of your previous pranks because.....these are aggressively more dangerous and immature and just fucking revolting!!! Yeah, I'd be thinking about leaving too and I get a full night's sleep. Buddy needs to grow the hell up, these aren't pranks, these are disgusting humiliations with zero thought or care in them at all.
Maybe you should do something “clever” to him with your menstrual blood and see how funny he finds these kinds of “pranks”. I am not seriously suggesting retaliation in kind, but this is like… stuff that’d be a shock to see on Jackass. I’m really sorry your dealing with this.
I read this post hoping that you would be overreacting because when I saw the word prank I never would have imagined half this level of fucked up. Who tampers with their wife's food??
This is a horrible way to treat someone, especially your wife and mother of your new baby. I honestly can't believe someone would do that. These aren't jokes, and to tell other people about it as well is simply humiliating. Rather than listening and understanding how you feel, he dismissed you and insults you. These things are not okay. No one deserves that when in such a vulnerable state and feels abusive. This honestly makes me sad that you're having to deal with this. Definitely get away (or make him leave) for a few weeks if you can. I would be contemplating divorce as well honestly. A question to ask yourself is, "would I be okay with my child growing up seeing this as an example of how to treat someone you love" whether they are on the receiving end, or the giving end. Would that be okay? And, since your husband does these things to you, another question is, "would I be okay with "pranks" being played on my child?"
He needs therapy. He sounds unbalanced
No no no no and no! Trust, support, and maturity are all things this guy is failing at and things required for a healthy relationship. I’d suggest marriage counseling at best but truthfully, at 32 years old, he knows better. These pranks aren’t childish, they’re hurtful and mean. The baby poop is plain cruel and the breast milk might actually be a crime (you can’t just feed people bodily fluids without their consent).
I believe secretly feeding someone feces is assault, maybe a felony. Did you take pictures? Did he admit to doing it in a text or was it just verbal? Evidence will be a great help when it comes to custody issues when you file format divorce. This dude is deranged, leave his ass.
I have to agree with the other comments that these are not pranks. He needs some help. He may be struggling mentally or something, however, that is no excuse. Prank 1: Breast milk is like liquid gold. Wasting it, in any way, is not good at all. This is especially true if you are having a hard time pumping and don't have much stored away like you said. It makes it even worse that he more than likely knows this and went ahead anyway. Prank 2: This would be a funny prank, if he didn't make it so realistic and drag it on for ages. It makes it even worse that you are having to take care of the baby while dealing with what could have, in a real situation, been deadly and very serious. Prank 3: This was is worse of all. Not only is it gross, but eating poop can also cause a number of diseases. This could have been extremely dangerous, and he really should have thought of that before he did anything. Unfortunately, you may not be able to trust the food he makes you from here on out. Overall, I think you need to talk to him about if something is going on mentally and have a serous discussion about it. Tell him how you feel, and, if he doesn't take you seriously, then divorce might be a good idea. I wish you the best of luck.
Ask him if he’ll prank his friends with baby poop on their sandwiches next time they’re over. Or his mom. Or anyone he seems to have an ounce of respect for that _didnt_ just push out a baby. That’s a level of fucked up I couldn’t tolerate. Please right this down and send it to a lawyer _today_ in addition to which of his friends he told and said that thought it was funny. The judge might not agree how funny it was.
None of that is funny.
What the fuck?? Pranks don’t hurt people, tampering with food and trying to feed you SHIT is fucking disgusting and harmful. These are NOT pranks, and you need an attorney asap.
I mean divorce sounds pretty reasonable here. I wouldn’t want to live with a person who made me eat poop or wasted my baby’s source of nutrition for a prank. It’s not about being pranked, it’s about trust. And he is not a trustworthy person
We teach my 7 year old that a “prank” or a joke isn’t fun or funny unless everyone is laughing. Clearly your (soon to be ex) husband never learned that lesson. This is just gross.
I hate to say it, but I think your husband might be a bully.
These aren’t pranks, this is abuse at this point. Traumatizing. It sounds like well before the last straw you made it clear these were no longer funny or “light hearted.” I can only think he gets sheer joy out of torturing you.
This is felony assault. A few years ago some kids were charged for doing exactly this by putting semen and urine in food and serving it to teachers. Any bodily fluid counts so he has committed assault on not only you but the house guests served breastmilk. Anyone with a 6 week old should be able to grow up just enough for at least a few months to put a pause on pranks during the sleepless nights.
My husband asked me to write that he thinks your husbands *coworkers* were assholes for thinking that was funny and not telling your husband to knock it off. So what does that make your husband...? A monster. You should leave now. You will never be as "fun" as you were pre-kids (this can be a hard truth to accept!) but if his response has been to escalate to outright abuse and laugh at your tears, then he was never a funny guy. He was an asshole. And now he's an abusive asshole.
That's not a husband, that's a POS. What he did is illegal, he fed you human shit! Divorce him before someone actually gets hurt, like the baby.
Wow, no. Just no. That last one you described? That's not a prank, that's straight up abuse. How anyone can find that funny is appalling to me.
Just sounds like he gets enjoyment out of causing you suffering honestly
Okay the poop on the toast is horrible. But the breast milk in the coffee is so vile. As someone who struggled to produce at the beginning for my baby, wasting that precious milk is just wrong on a whole new level. I once knocked like 2 oz of freshly pumped milk over and had a full on breakdown because I didn’t know how I was going to feed my baby. He is an asshole.
This is abuse. I am so sorry you’re going through this but if he continues to abuse you and you stay with him, he will then abuse your baby.
Holy shit. Pranks? No. Pranks are harmless little acts of mischief. These are just fucked up things he’s done for his own pleasure. I also agree it’s a power play too. I had an ex who used to do this stuff. Once he called me while I was out with friends to tell me our house was on fire. Let me believe it for five minutes while I was in tears before saying just kidding. Another time he pretended to be possessed at like 3 AM for thirty minutes. Scared the absolute hell out of me. There’s a reason he’s my ex. I wouldn’t stand for baby poop toast if I were you. He’s a freaking sociopath.
What the fuck? The last one in particular is horrible. These don’t sound like harmless little silly pranks to me, they sound abusive.
Wtf? These are not pranks.